Ephemeral Light of a Cherry-Coloured Innocent <- A very touhou-ish title. It translates to 'The Melancholy Awesomeness of Satsuki Rin'.
(http://img36.imageshack.us/img36/286/66820042.png) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/36/66820042.png/)
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That bum of an author was just lazy with picking pictures.
Blurb <- It's a story about me, the one and only Satsuki Rin. Enough said.
It sucks being human. It especially sucks being the Child of Miare, having to reincarnate, again, and again, and again. Does anyone appreciate how painful it is going through birth? Or puberty for that matter? And remembering each and every time for 9 consecutive lifetimes? Only Hieda no Akyuu does. And let's not get into the whole shortening lifespan thing. Well, this Child of Miare's had quite enough, thank you very much. Being a youkai must be so much better. They get to fly around and play around all day, living nigh forever without a care in the world. Well, enough is enough! Or so Akyuu thought...until an unexpected series of events and the meddling of a certain Satsuki Rin leads to her wish coming true. But there's no time to settle in. Gensokyo's on the brink of a youkai war, one that Gensokyo's usual human heroines cannot get involved in for fear of sparking an all-out human-youkai war. With Gensokyo in dire need of a new heroine, Akyuu has no choice but to learn on the job. Watch out, Gensokyo! It's Akyuu's turn!
Update Log <- A testament to that bum author's boundless laziness. It takes forever to update.
10/6/12 - Posted Rewritten Prologue
- Posted Chapter 1
- Posted Chapter 2
- Posted Chapter 3
- Completed 1st Arc
16/6/12 - Posted Chapter 4 part 1
17/6/12 - Posted Chapter 4 Part 2
- Posted Chapter 4 Part 3
8/02/13 - Rewrote Chapters 2 and 3. Minor edits to chapter 1.
- Posted chapter 5 Part 1
- Satsuki Rin doodled all over the introduction page <- Now it is 100% more accurate.
9/02/13 - Posted Chapter 5 Part 2
10/02/13 - Posted Chapter 5 Part 3
15/6/13 - Posted Chapter 5 Part 4 <-- Oh dear Kirrin-sama, can you believe this?
17/6/13 - Posted Chapter 6 Part 1 <-- There might be hope for this story yet!
20/6/13 - Posted Chapter 6 Part 2
24/6/13 - Posted Chapter 6 Part 3
29/6/13 - Posted Chapter 6 Part 4
17/7/13 - Posted Chapter 6 Part 5
20/9/13 - Posted Chapter 7 <-- Two months! This story is fairy'd!
16/11/13 - Posted Chapter 8 <-- Another two months! Bring out the helium!
Table of Contents <- This may contain a lot of me, amongst other things.
Click to Jump straight to each chapter
Arc 1 - Afterlife's Sonata
Prologue (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg841396.html#msg841396)
Chapter 1 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg841399.html#msg841399)
Chapter 2 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg841400.html#msg841400) <- This one has my very own Gensokyo Chronicle Page!
Chapter 3 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg841449.html#msg841449)
Arc 2 - Birth Shower Dirge
Chapter 4 Part 1 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg843644.html#msg843644)
Chapter 4 Part 2 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg844177.html#msg844177)
Chapter 4 Part 3 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg844181.html#msg844181)
Arc 3 - Little Kitty Blues
Chapter 5 Part 1 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg946241.html#msg946241)
Chapter 5 Part 2 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg946625.html#msg946625)
Chapter 5 Part 3 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg946932.html#msg946932)
Chapter 5 Part 4 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg987002.html#msg987002)
Chapter 6 Part 1 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg987908.html#msg987908)
Chapter 6 Part 2 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg988888.html#msg988888)
Chapter 6 Part 3 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg990544.html#msg990544)
Chapter 6 Part 4 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg991899.html#msg991899)
Chapter 6 Part 5 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg997707.html#msg997707)
Chapter 7 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg1023062.html#msg1023062)
Chapter 8 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12676.msg1044491.html#msg1044491)
OST Guide <- I like music. You should too.
Along the way you will find OST links in quotes before each scene. They are entirely optional, off course, but they do add that little extra something to the scene they're set for. Most of them are touhou themes too for the discerning doujin music connoisseurs amongst you. To use them simply click on the title in the quotes and the hyperlink should take you straight to the youtube page. :D
Author's Notes <- This is where that bum Author makes her excuses.
Credits <- The others who deserve some credit for my adventure.
Special thanks to the following:
Sakana - For help in proofreading chapter 1, 2, and 3 for being a real tuna for bouncing ideas off, and for generally being a brilliant Oniichan. :3
Totaku - For help in proofreading chapter 2, 4 part 1, 2 and 3, and quality-assurance with Seiga Kaku's characterization.
RDJ - For help in proofreading Chapter 4 Part 1.
Everyone - For your time in reading this and your kind comments.
ZUN - last but not least, for bringing us Gensokyo and its denizens.
(http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/4189/smemo05.jpg)
Akyuu in all her youkai glory!
Komeiji Week By Hatagoya Spring - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwpSS3OcZ0I
That over there, just beyond that stream, is, indeed, Mt. Genbu. Surprised? You've wandered this far into youkai territory, human. Up there is the Giant Toad's lake, the once abandoned shrine of the Giant Toad.
Ah, so you do know of it. Yes, as you say, it is now home to the Lady Kirrin and her clan.
Hmm? Watch out, you say? Ah, yes, yes, as you say, her shikigami and retainers don't take too kindly to people from outside the clan, especially humans. But no, not for the reason you might suspect.
You see, the Lady Kirrin suffers from insatiable curiosity, especially when it comes to humans. While she will have you for lunch, you can not only expect to leave unharmed, you will leave rather spoiled and pampered.
She showers humans like you who wander into her domain with much attention...something that begets a lot of jealousy from her followers. So, while it is indeed daylight, you would be wise to steer clear of her mountain.
Hmmm? Oh, daylight? I don't mind it, but being a youkai I suppose it's only natural to prefer the darkness of night. As the shrine maiden rightly said, youkai thrive on fear, and fear thrives best in the absence of light. Only those who are either firmly secure in their existence or are so powerful that being in their presence alone instils bone-chilling fear make their form visible in the light. That said, I enjoy strolling out in the light on occasion and I do not mind my true form being seen. Hmmm? Eheh, makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Hmmm? My true form? Am I that Lady Kirrin, you ask? Ufufufu...what makes you think that, human? Because I'm a Kirrin too, you say? Why...you've heard my story so far. How would a helpless little youkai like me become the great Lady Kirrin, leader of the Genbuyama no Hyakki Yakou*?
*Mt Genbu's 1000 youkai
Still, it may be daylight but this forest provides just enough shade for the discerning youkai. Come, this way, human. Path? What path? Don't you know the shortest distance between two points is a straight line? All you young people and your unstraightness. You can walk a bit, I'm sure. I still left you two legs, didn't I? Hmmm? Oh, no, no, nothing.
The first time I walked through here, I had to do so barefoot. Yes, that shrinemaiden may have left me a musty old maid costume....yes, off course I noticed it was a maid uniform. Who wouldn't? I didn't just put it on thinking how great it was to finally be wearing the frilly western dress of my dreams. Course not. Ahem...Anyway, yes, she might have left me that uniform, but she didn't help much in the shoes department, amongst other things. What other things, you ask? Hmm...well, to ask a lady such a thing, eheh....well, I suppose I can say food for one thing. But now I'm happy to say I have both. Yes, both shoes and food. What food, you ask? Do you really have to ask?
Lamprey eel, off course.
What? What is that look for? This river here is a magnificent place to catch lamprey eels. Now, let us catch ourselves some and settle down under the shade over there. I am a youkai after all. Daylight and direct sunlight does at least make me drowsy.
- Chapter 5 Part 1 -
Wonderful Heaven, Catastrophe in Bhava Agra, Arrange by Foxtail Grass Studios - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr0wrD1tlPU
"Munyaaa...."It was delicious, the most delicious thing she had ever tasted. It was soft, warm, and fluffy, practically melting in her mouth. It was....
"....ke up! Wake up!"
"Unyuu...?"
"No! Bad little Kirrin-chan! No snacking on your Kirrin-half!"
"Hakyuu....best candy floss eveeer..."
"No! That mane isn't candy floss! No! NOO!"
"More please....munyuu munyuu...."
"For the last time, Rin said, wake up, little Kirrin!"
"5 more munyuu...."
....
"No more munyuu for you! Lyrical Lovely Soul Genocide Crasher Smash!"
SMACK
"Kyuuuu!" The little kirrin yelped, falling over from where she had been lying against her Kirrin-half's side, wrapped up in its big, bushy tail. "That hurts..." She complained tearfully as she curled up in a fetal position, nursing the throbbing bump on her forehead. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking out the cotton-candy-shaped stars out of her eyes as she tried to focus through her tears at whatever the Lyrical Lovely Soul Genocide Crasher Smash was.
"W-What is that?" Akyuu groaned, pointing at the object gripped in the Kirrin-half's jaw. Whatever it was, it was now bearing a smoking dent on its smooth surface, courtesy of the little sage's hard head.
"Oh, Rin just found it floating round and round the Kirrin-half earlier." Rin replied, "...Rin wasn't testing for edibility or anything, nope. Now we have worked out that it is harder than your head, little Kirrin."
"No, I mean...what IS that?" Akyuu asked, eyeing the object warily.
"Well...." Rin paused for a moment as she tried to work out what exactly it was she had clobbered the little Kirrin on the head with. "Well...it's...Undefined..." She began, voicing her uncertainty.
"...Fantastic..." Akyuu murmured, suddenly mesmerized by all the flashing colours and lights as she reached out for it.
"...Object?" Rin finished. It was the safest possible description. It was spinning, and flashing in different colours, red, blue and green, and spinning some more. How else would you define something like that? ?Gensokyo sure has changed. Even plot devices have evolved flight now??
"...So....what is it?" Akyuu asked, for the third time, cradling the object in her lap. "It is rather cute, whatever it is."
?It may be edible.?
?Just because it?s cute doesn?t make it edible.?
?Well, you haven?t tried, have you, little Kirrin??
?Don't try to change the subject to hide the obvious fact that you don't know what it is you clobbered me with."
"Well, an Undefined Fantastic Object, obviously." Rin said, nodding sagely. "U.F.O. for short."
"Giving it an acronym doesn't make it any less obvious either." Akyuu said, subconsciously hugging the UFO.
"Oh, Rin thought Rin made that clear. It's Rin's Lyrical Lovely Soul Genocide Crasher Smash." Rin replied, proudly.
"And you tell me I've got bad naming sense." Akyuu sighed, petting the UFO. "There there, ignore the silly Kirrin." She said, soothingly.
"Look, it even comes with a free snack." Rin said as a black, furry little creature rose up out of the Kirrin-half's mane and leapt atop the UFO on the little Kirrin's lap.
"Kuro-chan?! What are you doing here?" Akyuu gasped in surprise. The little kitten was quick to nuzzle up against her, purring fondly.
"You know this appetizer?" Rin asked.
"Silly Rin, he's not an appetizer. He's my little kitty~" Akyuu giggled as the kitten snuggled up against her cheeks, mewing affectionately.
"Appetizer until proven otherwise." Rin said, blankly. "Though Rin sees someone's tied your Kirrin flower on his collar."
"....Keine...." Akyuu murmured, caressing the flower gently. "Just how did you get out of Keine's hands, you naughty little kitty?" Akyuu asked the kitten, holding him close. She received a yawn in reply.
"Yes, how indeed." Rin murmured, "Your kitten caught a flying UFO to hitchhike on to get all the way out here too. How...convenient..." Rin raised a mental eyebrow as she aimed the Kirrin-half's gaze across the forest suspiciously. "At least it smells like a kitten and acts like a kitten."
"Mew!" The kitten replied, looking indignant.
"You think someone sent him here?" Akyuu asked as Kuro climbed up her dress before finally settling on the summit behind her headress.
"Rin doubts it's a simple coincidence." Rin said, "Someone who not only knows your true identity, but is also tracking our movements."
"It doesn't seem like something Seiga-san or Reimu-san would do...." Akyuu reasoned, "It could be Yakumo-san. Reimu-san suggested she already knows of what's going on."
"Oh, that gap youkai. Rin wouldn't be surprised."
"You know her?"
"Unfortunately. While her motives are always questionable, Rin sees no immediate harm in this...furball." Rin muttered, darkly. "Anyway, What's his name?"
"KuroKuro Kusuriya Kurotamari Kiku" Akyuu said, proudly.
"Mew!" Kuro added, helpfully.
"That furball isn't a kick either." Rin said, "Did you have trouble deciding on one name?"
"That is one name."
"Nyaah!" The kitten agreed.
"You do have bad naming sense, little Kirrin....."
"Says Miss ' Hysterical Lovey-Dovey-Hadron-Side Crasher Smash Thing'." Akyuu pouted.
"Why were they all 'kicks' anyway?" Subtle change of topic.
"They are all names of my special secret Kemari* moves." The little youkai huffed, indignant.
*Kemari: Traditional Japanese game, similar to hackey-sack, played using a ball.
"....so you suck at Kemari too then?" Rin asked, "That was a rhetorical question. Don't answer it."
"Nyaaa..." The kitten sighed, betraying her mistress.
"There are people in the village I have never lost to in Kemari." Akyuu replied, defensively.
"You can't claim victories against the old, the infirm and toddlers unable to walk, sure can't." Rin said.
"The elders never want to play with me and the toddlers always cheat." Akyuu pouted more.
"In short you suck at Kemari too, sure do." Rin summarized succinctly.
"So...What did you wake me up for...?" Akyuu yawned, pretending she didn't hear what Rin just said.
"The sun's setting, Kirrin-chan." Rin announced, indicating the bright red sky beyond the tree boughs above, "We should get moving soon."
"What's the hurry, Rin?" Akyuu mumbled, crawling under the Kirrin-half's big bushy tail with the kitty and UFO in tow, too comfortable to move. "I thought you said we wouldn't move till it's properly dark." With all the excitement and energy spent the day before, the little Kirrin wanted nothing more than to just curl up and snooze on in their surprisingly comfortable little makeshift camp in the shadow of the Genbu Forest. That is, if you could call a semi-circle formed by the Kirrin-half's curled up body a camp site.
"Rin felt someone...or something...watching us." Rin murmured. "Whatever it is, it's out there and it hasn't moved for the past few hours."
"Could it be one of the Tengu?" The young youkai whispered, ears twitching as she peered out from under the big bushy tail cautiously, "You said they'd be on patrol for intruders on the mountain, especially after all the damage we did." She whispered, gazing out at the darkening forest beyond the little clearing they were camping in.
"No, Rin is sure that's no tengu. Tengu might play hide and seek, but not for hours at a time. They don't have the patience...or the attention span. Besides, they leave intruders on the mountain to the local youkai at nightfall. Saves on the cost of taking prisoners." Rin said. "Rin's kept your Kirrin-half's eyes trained on its position for half the day. Just so you know, we know it knows we know it's there, you know."
"What should we do, Rin?"
"What do you think we should do, little Kirrin?" Rin asked, sounding surprisingly gleeful and expectant.
"Hmm....." Akyuu thought carefully for a moment. Common sense would dictate running for the hills like a pansy. But that was human common sense, and this wasn't a human setting, or a common one at that. She's a youkai, she should start thinking like one. She had youkai powers aplenty now, enough to level rivers and turn shrine maidens dere. What would a youkai do?
...short of destroying everything, that is?
"Waiting so patiently implies some sense, some sentience, a very cautious one at that. It didn't attack earlier while I was still asleep, so if it does plan to attack at all, it probably will not attack now that I'm fully awake." Akyuu reasoned.
"Excellent reasoning, little Kirrin." Rin agreed, "Out in the wild it's natural to be territorial and we might just be encroaching on its territory. It may let us be once we begin moving." Rin seemed thoughtful for a moment, "Or, you know, you could just mark your territory here."
"How do we do that?"
"Oh, the usual. A little piddle here, bit of piddle there, piddle piddle everywhere." Rin shrugged.
"Mew!" Kuro added enthusiastically.
"....do we have to?" Akyuu yawned, stretching her arms, twitching her ears...before curling up inside the big bushy tail once more. "Move, I mean...not the...other thing."
As if answering her question for her, her tummy rumbled audibly for all the world to hear.
"Oh, by the way, Rin forgot to mention, Ms. Instinct considers food a matter of life and death and wouldn't hesitate coming out if your tummy doesn't stop rumbling." Rin said, offhandedly.
The hunger pangs struck. And they struck deep, deeper than ever.
"You're not listening to Rin, are you?" She asked, watching as the little Kirrin plucked off a clump of scarlet mist from the Kirrin-half's mane and proceeded to nibble on it. "What did Rin tell you about eating your kirrin-half?"
"But...itsh shweet~" The little Kirrin replied through a mouthful of scarlet mist. "Plush, it'sh food, right~?"
"Your scarlet mist will turn itself into whatever you want it to. That includes tasting like whatever you want it to, but that's beside the point." Rin sighed, "It won't fill you up. You need to feed, little Kirrin, sooner or later, sure do."
The hunger practically roared, as if to drive home the point.
"...." The little Kirrin pouted, gulped, before hiding under the big bushy tail once more. "Dun wanna." The bushy tail said.
"..." Rin raised the kirrin half's tail, raising the little Kirrin clinging onto it into the air. "Now, little Kirrin, you're a youkai now." She said, pointedly.
"No, really?" Akyuu muttered in reply, releasing the tail and dropping onto her knees on the forest floor.
At that moment something fluffy waved on the edge of her vision. "Kyuuu!" In the great tradition of all young furry things, she spun around and pounced on it.
"Specifically a beast youkai. This roomy mind of yours is now a big ball of furry clawing instincts bigger and meaner than that miko?s balls, something we may call your tsundere little friend, Ms. Instinct, wrapped in a straightjacket thinner than said miko?s sarashi, that flimsy thing that passes as your conscious thought." Rin went on.
"Is that so?" Akyuu replied absentmindedly, more preoccupied with her newfound prey. She lowered herself into the grass and peered around. Then she saw her elusive quarry again, just at the edge of her vision once more. "Hakyuuuh!" She spun and pounced.
"?Or what?s left of it." Rin sighed, " You used up a lot of youkai spirit mojo yesterday 'kicking' and barrel-rolling your way through two battles. Kirrin arts are really cool and all but very costly in energy. Your energy tank is about as empty as that miko's donation box, sure is, and, unlike the penniless miko, you can't live off eating danmaku." Rin said, "You need to feed, little Kirrin. Little Ms. Instinct considers feeding a life and death issue and, as you and the miko have seen, little Ms. Instinct has enough issues as she is." After a moment's thought, she added, "Also, Rin has absolutely nothing against that miko. Absolutely nothing, nope."
"That....Thing....Kyuuh!" The little Kirrin crouched low on all fours in the sparse grass covering the little clearing, carefully eyeing her elusive prey carelessly wiggling about in the open air. With yet another loud Kyuu she leapt out, little kirrin claws fully extended, another relentless attempt at pouncing her unwitting target.
It slipped right through her paws. Again. That slippery little?fluffy?thing?!
The little Kirrin landed in an explosive burst of dandelion snow that flitted wildly across the crispy evening air.
?Tail 3, silly little Kirrin 0.? Rin sighed. ?It?s your own tail, little Kirrin. It is nature?s holy design that your rear be specifically separate from your front, sure is.?
?It is fluffy! I will have it! Kyuuu!? The little Kirrin's warcry echoed across the clearing as she about in circles after the elusive fluffiness.
Rin did the mental equivalent of a facepalm.
?Little Ms. Instinct is taking over, little Kirrin, and she likes chasing tail, sure does. We must do something about your hunger before your attention span shrinks to the size of your puny hitbox, sure must.? Rin said, urgently.
?Munyuu??? The little Kirrin rolled onto her back as she tilted her head to one side, murmuring through a mouthful of her own flaming red tail.
?Your attention span already IS smaller than your hitbox, isn?t it?? Rin sighed in despair, ?And what did Rin tell you about snacking on yourself, little Kirrin? Wait, how?d you even catch your own tail to begin with?" Rin did a double-take on herself, "How'd you make Rin run off topic this far?"
"Munyuu~" came Akyuu's contented reply.
"Sooner or later Ms. Instinct will take over and she's a pretty messy eater. Not very picky either." Rin said. "There were mornings when Rin woke up and felt like something died in Rin's mouth....or was that the sake?"
Akyuu sighed, in defeat, letting her tail go. "Can't you at least guarantee I won't need to eat humans?" Akyuu was almost pleading, ears drooping, "Youkai don't eat humans that often nowadays, right?"
"Not from the human village, no." Rin said, "But you can't be so naive as to think youkai don't eat humans at all. You obviously realize that there are other sources for humans."
"...." The memories surfaced before she could even stop them. The Vampire pact. The youkai expansion deal. They were there, in writing in her books. Not to mention the recent attacks on the human villages.
"Youkai kill humans. That very threat defines youkai existence, little Kirrin." Rin said, gravely. "Rin can't guarantee anything either way, no. But Rin can guarantee one thing - You must not allow fear to control you, not even fear of your own self. You will embrace your fears or be overwhelmed by them, little Kirrin. Youkai cannot live any other way."
"But....I can't...." Akyuu murmured, uncertain. "What do I do, Rin....?"
"You're a youkai now. You're free, but with that freedom comes responsibility. You need to make your own decisions, little Kirrin, sure do." Rin said sternly.
"...." Akyuu looked up at the mountain shouldering the Genbu marsh and the youkai mountain, Mt. Genbu itself, a deeply forested mass shrouded by mist and darkness. She gulped. But Rin was right. She had to call her own shots from now on. That includes decisions like these. She took a deep breath. She decided. "We're going deeper into the mountains, away from the human villages, Rin." Akyuu declared, with as much determination as she can muster. "If we find nothing to eat on the way, that will be that."
"Very well, little Kirrin." Rin said, "Still, Rin's so hungry Rin could eat an entirnRINNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Nyaah?" Akyuu cocked her head to one side. "What's a nyaah? I don't think I have had the pleasure of eating one of those before."
"TOAAAAAAD! RINYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
"...Oh, toads? I have heard of people eating frogs, but toads...hmmm..." Akyuu looked thoughtful for a moment, "....there is something behind me, isn't there?"
"RUNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BEHIND YOU!"
Akyuu turned round cautiously and found herself face to face with a massive pair of bulging eyes overlying the largest mouth she had ever seen, not to mention the biggest expansile chin. It was the toad. The Toad. With a capital T. The Giant Toad.
"Silly Rin. It's alright." Akyu tried to make herself heard over the hysterical screaming in her head.
"TOAD TOAD! RUNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"It's only the giant toad." Akyuu pointed out.
"GIANT! GIANT TOAD! RUNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Please, please don't scream." Akyuu said, comfortingly, "There is nothing to be afraid of. I wrote about him, you see. He only attacks those who've defiled his pond. Otherwise, he is completely harmle-...."
SMASH
The tree that was next to them was no more. It had been snatched up by the beast's whip-like tongue.
Silence fell, filled with only the sound of the poor tree being chewed and chewed and chewed some more. The two winced with each painful crunch, each excruciating mastication, before unconsciously shivering as the remains of the poor little tree was spat out unceremoniously into the undergrowth.
"Something's marked its territory in his pond, obviously." Rin said. ".....So...is it okay for Rin to scream now?"
"Ribbit." It said. It didn't croak. It said.
"Did Rin mention Rin hates toads?" Rin asked. "Well, there, Rin mentioned it."
"It is alright. I know all about him. If we leave him an offering of food, he should let us go...." Akyuu suggested.
"....What do you have in mind?" Rin asked. "What aside from you looks edible around here?"
"Kirrin-half, I choose y-..." Akyuu looked around but found a general lack of Kirrin-halves. Soft, misty remains of what might have been a Kirrin-shaped scarlet mist slowly dispersed into the air around them.
"Sorry. Low battery." Rin said. "Cannot process your suicide order now."
"....Uhhh....alright, I humbly admit that would have been a bad idea." Akyuu said.
"What about the furball?" Rin suggested. "Sure it might give him diabetes, but..."
"No, not Kuro-chan !" Akyuu replied, throwing her hands to her sides, "How about this?!"
Nothing happened.
"...how about what?" Rin asked.
"....Erhu! Bow!" Akyuu called out, throwing her hands out to her sides again, but to no avail. "Fly! Up up and away erhu and bow!" She cried, flapping her arms desperately. "Rin! How do I erhu?!"
"Low Battery. Please plug in or find another power source or your Kirrin WILL DIE." Rin announced.
Akyuu opted for her last resort, "What do I do, Rin?" Akyuu appealed to Kirrin wisdom, all while carefully backing away slowly.
"You need something to poke him with, right? If nothing sharp then something blunt will do." Rin suggested. "In summary, just hurry up and do something to him! Anything!"
"Umm...umm...blunt...blunt...." Akyuu ducked for the first blunt thing she saw and picked it up, raising it up in defense.
"The UFO?" Rin said, "But Rin already checked. It's not edible, nope."
"I-It c-can do that Hysterical lovey-dovey-Hadron-side Crasher Smash Thing, right?" Akyuu quavered.
"Err....Sure?" Rin said. "And it's 'Lyrical Lovely Soul Genocide Crasher Smash' by the way. That's important."
"It's blinking faster so it's doing something." Akyuu reasoned with flawless logic, holding up the broad, smooth circular object like a shield before her, flashing bits pointed at the toad. "I hope it's doing something."
"Maybe it's charging some sort of really flashy finisher death laser attack." Rin suggested, optimistically. "RIN'MA CHARGIN' RIN'S LAZAAAAH!" She declared.
Next moment, it was no longer in her hands. The giant toad had snapped its tongue out like a whip, plucked the UFO neatly out of her hands, and ate it.
"...it took the UFO....and ate it...." Akyuu murmured.
"Oops...It swallowed Rin's laser..." Rin murmured. "Notoad eats Rin's little UFO and digests away with it!" Rin declared, rallying quickly. "Quick, we need a weapon! Anything that shouts BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA! Come now, gods, give Rin a sign!"
And the gods answered. Akyuu dove down and picked up the next available object stuck in the undergrowth before hefting it up and aiming it at the amphibious threat. Only then did the two get a good look at it.
"It IS a sign." Rin observed.
"'...don't feed the toads'" The little youkai read. "Especially ice fairies, lasers, youkai or UFOs." Akyuu looked thoughtful for a moment, "....what a thoughtful toad dietician...."
"Wait...did it say UFO?" Rin gulped. "...Ooops."
"...Well...it was only one UFO so...it cannot do that much harm, can it?" Akyuu said, backing away slowly. "You know...like...just one...cherry tart...?"
"And Rin's laser." Rin added.
"And your laser....uum..."
The giant toad had begun to glow red, green and blue, flickering in that order, like a rather bloated and misshapen disco ball. It began to swell and distort even further right before their eyes, its eyes bulging, its expansive chin bulging even further.
Then it settled. What was left loomed, towered, over the little youkai, bristling scales flaming in the sunset, razor-sharp Kirrin-sized claws gleaming, massive, serpentine body capable of crushing several onbashiras worth of wood, and, most importantly, enormous snout bearing large diamond-sharp serrated teeth that made Akyuu look like a toothpick, glowing menacingly in the fiery dragon breath.
"KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" Akyuu screamed, ears and tail bristling in electrified horror.
"It's alright." Rin tried to make herself heard over the hysterical screaming.
"D-D-DRAGON! KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
"Look, it's only the giant thunder dragon." Rin pointed out.
"G-G-GIANT! G-G-GIANT DRAGON! KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
"Please, please don't scream. There's nothing to be afraid of." Rin said, mock-soothingly, "Rin doesn't know much about him, but Rin knows this - He only attacks...everyone...and..."
The two watched the dragon take a deep breath as it opened its expansive maw wide. Flickering particles of light gathered together in its jaws, coalescing into a glowing ball of light that grew brighter and brighter, threatening death by instantaneous vapourization.
"...He breathes lasers." Rin finished. "Seriously?" She asked the world in general. "Right, Little Kirrin, this is the part where Rin screams like a pansy and you run." The Kirrin suggested.
OST - The Importance of Fun, Arrange by O-life Japan - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPKWvRV9Fao
But Akyuu was ahead of her. She had already sacrificed the poor sign and ran for the hills, little Kuro-chan holding on tightly onto her headress.
"Kyuuun!" She squeaked, flinching as a crack of thunder boomed across the forest. There were few things the prodigious child of Are was more afraid of than a fridge devoid of sweets. One of them was thunder. The other was dragons. Put the two together and you get the worst possible thing, the cause of thunder, the thunder dragon. All of that combined with the lack of sweets made for the ultimate nightmare.
"Shift, little Kirrin, SHIFT!" Rin shouted in her ears.
The threatened laser blast came, as big as a rampaging oni and about as destructive. With a desperate lunge, the little Kirrin leapt aside behind a conveniently-placed rock at the last moment. "Kyuuu!" She cried, holding her ears down tightly as she felt the laser miss her hair by but a hair's breadth, singing a few split ends as it ripped a burning hole through half the forest before eviscerating a hill in the distance.
The air around her crackled with the fizzing heat of magic. "Nyahahah, the joys of a teeny hitbox! Fill'er up!" Rin laughed triumphantly while sparks of magical discharge glowed about the little Kirrin as she grazed the laser blast, absorbing much-needed energy. "Now, time to use that graze power to deploy shot options and counter atta-..."
The little Kirrin let out a teeny squeak before running on for the hills once more, this time at full gallop atop her newly restored Kirrin-half.
"....or...sure, we can just use that graze power to run like pansies, sure can..." Rin sighed in defeat.
"Is it coming after uuus?" Akyuu squeaked.
"Uhh...Rin doesn't know, do you want Rin to lie to you to make you feel better?" Rin asked, "Rin could lie to you and tell you it's decided that roasted hill might taste better than your teeny hitbox."
"We ARE the fastest creature on land, right?" Akyuu was almost pleading, holding onto the Kirrin-half's mane for dear life.
"Rin said 'land'. Rin didn't say 'air', and this dragon's racking up frequent flyer miles like nobody's business." Rin replied. "At the very least you'd qualify for fast food."
"Kyuuuuuuuuu!" Akyuu squeaked as they hurtled deeper and deeper into the forest, before rushing out into an open clearing. There they came face to face with...
"I'm the strongest and what is this?!" A loud, shrill voice demanded. Its pint-sized cerulean-haired owner, disproportionately small for her voice, fluttered her icy little wings indignantly as she tossed a toadcicle in one hand. "Hey! Noisy peeps! Can't y'all keep it down? I'm tryin' ta make da perfect lil' toadcicle here and yer all scarin' away da scardy lil' toadsies!" She swept her other hand out impatiently, indicating the clearing littered with more of her toadcicle handiwork.
"IT'S THE CULPRIT!" Rin declared, "She must be the toad-pond-piddler!"
"Please get out of the way, Cirno-chaaaaaaan!" Akyuu squeaked, recognizing the little ice fairy a split second before...
WHAM
"O-Ouchies...Hey hey HEY! That hurts!" The little ice fairy cried as she found herself pressed flat against what passed for the galloping Kirrin half's windshield, its expansive horns. "Ye picked da wrong day and da wrong fairy to fairy-nap, ye overgrown horny fuzzball!" She shouted at Kuro's unimpressed face, "Don't'cha know yer messin' with da big enforcher of Daidarabotchi-chama's clan?" She yelped. "Ya mess wi'me, I'll mess you up!"
"Get in line." Rin muttered darkly, "Note to self. Need to install windshield-wiper function on shot option, sure do." Rin muttered. "Either that or an ice-breaker drill..."
"Where are ye louts takin' me, hey!" The ice fairy grasped the Kirrin-half by the horns and pressed her forehead against Akyuu's, peering at her through icy-blue eyes.
"Somewhere with plenty of helium." Rin replied.
" What, eh, horny fuzzball? Yer tongue's just frozen British beef, is it? Ye got a problem with us pedes...pedos...pedos-tree-ants mindin' our bees-knees?" The little ice fairy demanded as icy cold air began to gather at her fingertips.
"Away from that!" Akyuu peeped, pointing a hand in the general direction of the dragon. "Not a pedestrian problem, an amphibian one!"
"Eh?" The little ice fairy climbed up to peer over the little kirrin's headress, earning her a mew of protest from Kuro. Cirno paid the kitty no attention. Her eyes and jaw widened perceptibly. ".Ummm...that's one big lizard problem ye got there." She summed up, "Whaddya do to get his knickers in a twist, aye?"
"Rin would love to ask YOU that question." Rin snapped.
"Cirno, I can't see where we're going...." Akyuu gave a muffled squeak through the ice fairy's billowing skirt. The Kirrin-half had long since given up vision to the ice fairy.
"I can." The ice fairy announced, helpfully, "And yer headed straight for the waterfall."
"We are?!" Akyuu squeaked in panic.
"No, just ye." With that, the ice fairy frog-leapt off Akyuu's head and launched herself into the air. But before she managed to gain any altitude, a big, red, whip-like tongue darted through the air, catching her clean about her midriff. Before she barely managed a yelp, the little ice fairy had disappeared inside the dragon's expansive maw.
"You got that right." Rin said.
"N-no! Cirno!" Akyuu cried, "Rin, we need to save her!"
"Well, your intentions are sort of groundless at the moment, little Kirrin." Rin pointed out helpfully.
Just then, the Kirrin-half treaded air. "K-Kyuuuu!" Akyuu cried, willing her Kirrin-half to take flight as she met her old enemy, gravity. Together they plunged over the edge of the crevice overlooking the Great Waterfall. Much to her dismay, the Kirrin-half only scrabbled at the air feebly before disappearing in a puff of scarlet smoke. It was all she could do to grab onto Kuro and tuck the squirming little furball safely inside her apron.
An almighty roar alerted them both to the dragon plunging down through the air just behind them.
"That's some commitment. You don't see that that often these days." Rin commented airily. "Aren't you going to return such passionate feelings, little Kirrin?"
"Kyuuuh!" Thinking quickly, Akyuu reached out towards the waterfall and plunged one hand into the cascading water, using the force to spin herself mid-fall to face the dragon.
The very sight of the dragon rushing towards them was enough to scare the sweet stuffing out of her. But there, in between the dragon's now-frost-ridden jaws, was the ice fairy, a look of mortal terror on her face as she struggled to hold the dragon's maw open with a feeble icicle. The sight of the helpless fairy seemed to spur something inside the little Kirrin, a taste of that selfsame strength of will that drove her to fight off the hermit and save the children.
"Wait...little Kirrin, what are you...?" Rin asked, "Wait, no! NO! NOOOO!"
The little Kirrin spread her apron and skirt out wide, trapping air beneath it, slowing her descent abruptly. The dragon could barely react to the little Kirrin suddenly hurtling towards its face. Kuro chose this moment to poke his head out of his mistress' apron and give out a mew of a warcry.
Not many can claim to know what it feels like to have one's eyes poked with an erhu and a kitten. Fewer even live to tell the tale. If this dragon could tell tales, it would tell one of absolute, pure, unadulterated agony.
It roared in pain, releasing, almost expelling, the little ice fairy from its mouth, launching her straight into the little Kirrin. Fairy cranium made contact with rock hard Kirrin head. There was a loud, hollow 'thunk', then silence.
With an explosive splash, the Kirrin, kitten, fairy and dragon all broke the river's surface, in that order.
While few survive having their eyes poked out by string instruments and felines, none have ever survived being sandwiched by a fairy, kitten, dragon and waterfall combo.
....Until now....
ED Song - Beloved Tomboyish Girl by Liverne - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z0NgbfO8b8