Sanasanasan and Ruro (Season 1)

~Beyond the Border~ > Aya's Personals Section

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Alfred F. Jones:
Dear Sanasanasan:

Oh, do not think that my heart is so strong that it can withstand my love for you! To be without you is to be slowly dying-- next to that, to have you break my heart would be a blessing! Your mark would never fade away, and I would hold on to the scars with all the devotion I can muster!

I know full well that you love someone else. Still, your love only makes you more and more appealing to me; oh, if only you could gauge the extent of my love for you, a love that will last until death sees fit to end my empty life. You are the only one who will be able to fill my heart with love, I know it! Even if this does end in heartbreak, it will be bittersweet, because I know that it was only because what made you so beautiful in my eyes is precisely what made you choose someone else over me.

Here, as you requested, another token of my love for your fair hand:

We were meant to be, Sanasanasan. If you choose to see otherwise, then I shall go on in the world, and always remember you as the purest, noblest lady I ever had the pleasure of falling for. All I truly want is permission to adore you, protect you, admire you, and make you the center of my universe. I pray you will see fit to let me take your fair hand and slip a ring onto your finger.

Forever pledging my undying love,
- Rurenko Usami

Sana:
I....I don't understand....
You say you love me because I already love another. You know I love someone else, yet still, you do this. I don't know what to think. Being with you sounds wonderful....but I will be betraying my one true love. My heart is torn with conflict....How am I to decide?

Sanasanasan

Alfred F. Jones:
Dearest Sanasanasan:

A year ago, I was given a very good piece of advice by the mother of a woman scorned in love. She told me that she had made the mistake of marrying the man she loved, who did not love her back. Her heart was broken; it mended, but it still bears the painful scar of a love scorned. Her mother, she told me, had told her in turn that she ought to have married the man who loved her, because that person would stay with them forever.

I do not know if the person you love loves you in turn. I do not mean to insult them, anyway; if this person loves you, then you ought to love them back, by all means. But please, please know this: I love you with every fibre of my being, and I will not leave your side no matter what. I want to stay with you in the best of times and in the worst of times, and I will let nothing short of death tear me from your side.

I know it is but a trifling thing, but... I could not bear to have my gift to you unfinished. Here, to put at least a smile on your beautiful face:

And this is only the first of many things to come, if you will deign to accept my love. I know that I do not have your love-- oh, how I envy that person you hold dear in your heart!-- but I will try, because knowing the way I feel and not acting on it would hurt far worse than the rejection I know you shall give me.

In any case, I have done my best. I leave it up to you to decide to whom you shall give your hand in a pledge of love. The fate of my love is written in your heart.

Asking permission to be by your side 'till the end,
- Rurenko Usami

Sana:
I do not know if she loves me. I don't even know if she knows I exist. But for the chance to be with her, I will endure. I will endure heartbreak; I will endure pain. I don't care if she doesn't share my feelings....I would gladly give up my life for a moment with her. So I apologize; I cannot accept your gift. I have realized that so long as my love is alive, I will pursue her. I will only have eyes for her, and if I have to turn down one suitor, or a hundred, so be it. I know I'll meet her someday.

Sanasanasan

Alfred F. Jones:
Dear Sanasanasan:

I am profoundly sorry for what I sent you the other day. It was truly the most arrogant I have been in ages. I've no idea what came over me. To say that I want you for myself is truly selfish; if you will always love another, that is fine. All I want is to protect you and hold you in my arms, and love you as long as I live; whether or not you return that love is irrelevant.

Originally, I had intended to enclose another token of my affection... but it seems I will not sway you, no matter how many I give you, so I will stop trying.

In any case, do realize this: I will always be here waiting for you if you ever need me, and I will continue to send you tokens of my affection. Know that you do not have to reciprocate them, or my love... but please, if you could on occasion give me a warm smile and a kiss, it may be enough to thaw my now-frozen heart from time to time.

What you feel for your fair maiden is what I feel for you. At least I can relate to you on that level, because it is clear that I am not worthy of your love at all. I am too bold, too arrogant... and more than that, I am not the one you love, that much is clear. It seems you will never be happy with me, no matter what I should try.

... perhaps it would just be better to end this life.

Reflecting,
- Rurenko Usami

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