Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Hakurei Shrine~ => Patchouli's Scarlet Library => Topic started by: Kuribohlv9 on March 25, 2012, 12:29:31 PM
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Hello. I want criticism on these written works. I'm trying to get better and better. I might post some of my touhou related works also.
Haruhi Limiters
Think a fighting game. You have full meter. You are now going to release your ultimate attack. You hit! The animation that shows ought to be awesome. The fights are taking place in closed space. In closed space everyone is able to use their max potential. After the fight is over, everything except the people damaged in it is restored to normal.
Short backstory. Haruhi knows of her power and has it sealed away by herself. When she releases her power she has a small command word that is ?I Allow it?.
Kyon/Haruhi Combo:
?Final smash! Are you ready Kyon?? says Haruhi energetically.
?Sounds good to me.? Kyon answers her. Kyon takes a deep breath and says out loud.
?Requesting the day of Saggitarius.?
?Operation confirmed,? Haruhi says. ?I allow it!?
The sky darkens and the roars of thunder can be heard. The humidity in the air seems to have gone up too, the suspense in the air is almost tangible. The ground is covered in shadows as the clouds are blocking the sky, but there are strangely enough light to be able to see clearly.
Suddenly, a big hole opens up in the sky. The hole is nearly ten times the size of the school and it?s covered in darkness. No, not darkness. In the background you can see small bits of light shining through. This is space.
From the giant hole a massive spaceship appears. The long shape continues to extend out of the hole. The sheer size of the spaceship would be enough to host the entire planets beings inside. In the front of the ship is the cockpit, and in it stands Kyon and Haruhi. The spaceship turns towards the enemy like it is taking aim with its head.
?Preperation!? Screams both teenagers in tandem as they each press a button on a display. The ship makes an electric noise as gathers energy. A big charge of energy is gathered in front of the spaceship, taking the form of a ball.
?FIRE!? The spaceship launches a gigantic beam aimed straight at the enemy. The size of the beam would be impossible for a human to define, the size was that of the moon. After ten seconds the beam starts to die down. There is a big hole in the earth where the beam went through.
?Restore reality! Everything but the enemy shallbe standing again! I allow it!? Haruhi says with a finishing touch.
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Nagato/Koizumi Combo:
?Let?s go? With those words Koizumi is engulfed into a bright red light that could make a person go blind if he were to stand too close to it. After two seconds there is a red shining ball in the place Koizumi used to stand, it?s glow spreading for several meters around it. Nagato stretches out her hand towards the ball and it flies and settles above her hand,
?Weapon: Super Red Ball Itsuki, Registered.? Nagato says in a mechanical voice.
?Here I go.?
She launches herself forwards towards her enemy, the ball still holding a solid position slightly above her hand even though she is moving at a high speed. She swings the ball from a downward arc and hits the enemy square in the stomach.
?Reverse,? She says, as her arms starts moving in reverse, without having any momentum she gains the speed from her previous swing. She makes a full spin and hits her enemy before they are even launched in the air.
?Release,? The ball, hitting the enemy in the back, follows through with the command and drags the enemy down through the ground. The force of the attack heavily damages the ground making a long crater where the enemy is dragged through. Nagato is running next the enemy being dragged. She jumps over the enemy and stretches the hand towards the ball.
?Connect,? The ball is again fixed to Nagato?s hand. She makes a full spin with the ball gaining momentum and hits the enemy in the back with great force. This time she lets the enemy get thrown into the air as she then jumps after him. When she reaches the enemy in the air she raises the red ball into the air, and slams it down hard on the enemy.
?Release,? The ball sticks to the enemy as they begin their downward trek to the ground. But as they fall the ball begins to grow bigger and bigger. When they reach the ground the ball is larger than the school building.
?Finish.? Is the last words from her mouth, as the enemy hits the ground with a loud crashing sound.