@OP:
Hah, wanna hear a funny story? I sucked worse at EoSD than you do. It took me three months to beat EoSD easy mode with no continues, and about six more months to beat EoSD normal. So don't worry about your "progress rate".
Actually, this reminds me of something that was asked on the imageboard a while ago. The original statement was "Fuck the people who want fans of touhou to be good at danmaku games. When the amount of touhou shit completely unrelated to vertical shooting is 1000x more plentiful than shit related to vertical shooting, then being good at the games is completely unimportant."
And my personal response (which I fully expect HME to tear me apart for):
I half agree and half disagree with this. I think the games are worth playing, if only because you can hear the pretty music in-game and watch gorgeous bullet patterns unfold.
However, 1ccing is indeed unrealistic for a number of people; it might be a bit cynical of me to think this, but I fully believe that there is only a given amount of capacity within any given player to do well at danmaku games. Practice still goes a long way, but some people will always be stuck on easy mode, while others will catch on to lunatic in a matter of weeks, if not days. Ultimately, it's just chance that determines how well you can ever do at the games. I resent the notion that "anyone can 1cc lunatic if they just try real hard". You should only ever feel obligated to 1cc normal, and if you are not capable of doing that, then just 1cc easy-- and if you can't do that, then just enjoy what you can get out of the games and no one will think the less of you for it, so long as you've tried.
That said: Memorization also has its place in Touhou, so don't give up on the games TOO quickly. You would be surprised at how many bullet patterns can be micromemorized, right down to the individual bullets.
In short, don't let anyone tell you how good you should be at the games; some people will never have the skill to do anything above easy, and the best thing to do is just accept that and move on. There are lots of other facets of Touhou to enjoy apart from the games-- though you should still give them a try. And also, if the danmaku games don't suit your fancy, try out the fighting games: IaMP, SWR, Soku (which contrary to popular belief, are legitimate Touhou games), or spinoff Touhou games, many of which are fun and hard in their own right.
If you're feeling pressured by the massiveness of this fandom and by people who can do anything from 1cc EoSD normal to people who can time out VoWG lunatic, please don't. No one will know if you continue to be totally casual and while people will care, they have no power to affect you in any way. Get into things at your own pace, and above all, remember to take it easy.