To anyone who cared about this story beyond a passing interest, I apologize for the long delay in this update. As of yesterday the story this was put on hiatus for has been completed, and I am ready to resume work on this story!
...Is what I'd like to say, but needless to say my writing skills are rusty. Before I start on the story proper, I would like to indulge in a warm-up. Feel free to disregard everything you are about to read.
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HOW DARE YOU PENETRATE MY TERRITORY? YOU HAVE ROBBED EVERYTHING I POSSESSED...The mechanized bee known as Hibachi waited behind a white curtain, while words were displayed on it by a grainy projector. In the thirteen years she's been in the business, she has heard this spiel so many times they had lost all meaning to her.
YOU KNOE, WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME IS JUST UNFORGIVABLE...Hibachi knew this was her job and she was expected to take it in stride, but the prerecorded speech plugged into Microsoft Sam wore on her artificial nerves every time she heard it. It made her...angry. So angry. But that's just what was needed.
I WILL PUNISH YOU MYSELF AND SEE TO IT THAT YOU DIE A MISERABLE DEATH WITH MY AWESOME WEAPONYou see, Hibachi has a job: She was a True Last Boss of a Cave shoot-em-up, Dodonpachi to be precise. Hiding within the armored carapace of her shell, "Hachi," she waited for strong souls to battle their way to her, where they would then engage in a large-scale battle of wits and wills. It was a long, noble tradition. Yet, even the joy of fighting worthy players had lost its thrill on the jaded mecha-bee. The grizzled Japanese players who were 100% of her clientele showed no emotion towards their battles. As far as they were concerned, Hibachi was nothing more than an obstacle in the way of their "score." They didn't care for her at all. Just the thought of another callous player coming for her made her mad...very mad. She clenched her pincers together in anticipation. She would grind their ship to dust!
DIE, MAGGOTTSWell, showtime. The curtain rose and the player emerged.
"Hibachi, we meet at last! I'm Sapz, the bee hunter, and I have come for you!"
If Hachi had eyelids, it would have blinked for Hibachi. This is possibly the first time her opponent was not Asian, but that wasn't what stunned her. Already, three things were very off about this player. For one, no player had ever talked to her; It had always been straight to the shooting with these bozos. Second...
"Bee hunter?" HIbachi spoke through a voice synthesizer that emitted a cliche anime girl's voice, "Just who do you think you are, human? Come, let us get started." Her wings were burning for a fight at this point - literally.
The diminutive human, "Sapz," responded in a smooth, incredibly deep English accent (the third thing that caused her circuits to heat), "Ah, of course. C'mon Hibachi, let us dance." For reasons the bee could not fathom, this caused her vision to become static for a brief moment. She shook her head and clacked Hachi's pincers together, signifying the beginning of the fight.
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"No matter," Hibachi thought as she controlled Hachi. Voice or no voice, he's no different from those other dozen or so other players Hibachi fought each year. Though Hachi fired with its usual fervor, the controller within sighed. She knew the routine. Even if this was Sapz' first time reaching her, he would probably milk her body parts for points like all the others. Destroy Hachi's wings bit by bit, ripping it limb from limb, taking as much time as possible to disembowel her armored shell like it was a horror movie for his precious "points." Standard stuff.
Yet, this was not what happened. As soon as the fight began, Sapz dashed up to Hachi's glowing yellow eyes and began shotgunning its face.
What? He won't get any points this way! W-what's he doing...?Hibachi ordered Hachi to gnash its steel pincers at the orange ship, but a quick strafe to the right thwarted this attempt on the Brit's life. Before Hachi could strike again, the powerful laser dispatched one of the pincers!
Aaaah, I can't kill him with just one! Grr, take this!While he was concentrated on removing Hachi's second pincer, Hibachi switched up the attack routine. Rather than throwing a bunch of red danmaku in lines to overwhelm him, she ordered Hachi to fire a burst of blue danmaku from its mouth. This indeed caught Sapz by surprise and his ship's armor punctured, exploding in with a small bang. This was not the end, of course, as Sapz respawned less than a second later with a fresh fighter.
There, now go and pick me apart, that'll make it easier to ki-what?!Much to Hibachi's surprise Sapz flew right back up to her face. She ordered another blue burst, but this time the intrepid player was ready. He let loose an unfocused bomb, doing heavy damage to all of Hachi's parts. Her plan being thwarted made her mad. Heck, a lot of things get Hibachi mad, but NOW she's MAD.
How conceited of him! What kind of player would do this? What...what...All of a sudden, Hibachi forgot about shooting for a split second.
What gorgeous eyes.Hachi was not designed to show expression, and its eternal scowl betrayed Hibachi's emotions. While the shrapnel from the bombs tore into Hachi's body, Hibachi caught a brief glimpse of the pilot inside. Black hair smoothed into a slick hair-do, well toned body, and that voice...that VOICE. She had to hear it again! Doing her best to hide how flustered she was, she spoke out, just in the hopes of hearing it again.
"G-gaaah! Quit bombing and fight like a man!"
Sapz smirked and said in that sexy voice, "No can do Hibachi. I'm here to fight you, and this is the best way to do it. I've been waiting for this meeting for years."
All bullets stopped at this exact moment. Hibachi's circuits were becoming dangerously overheated.
He's here for...me? Oh god...oh god...The mecha-bee had never felt so filled with human emotion. She felt herself turning red, and not from anger. This feeling, could it be...
Love...?Alas, it was not. The turning red was in fact Hachi's defenses giving out. Snapping back to reality, Hibachi noticed the area she was in about to explode, revealing her true form - again. Letting out a girlish giggle (Hibachi'd have to talk to Donpachi about giving her a better voice synthesizer), the mecha-bee readied herself to give this "Sapz" everything she had.
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"Haa...haa...you're not half-bad Sapz." Hibachi hadn't felt this invigorated against an opponent in years. As she looped through her attacks for the third time, she noted her health bar was dwindling.
Sapz, hissing at the pain from his disappearing ships, said "Well, I've been practicing for a long time. I wanted to make this count."
He practiced
for me. Oh my~ The flaming boss had never felt so special. This man, he was so...prepared. His dodges, the timing of the bombs, the grazes, the agility, it was as though the smoking fighter were an extension of his (also smoking) body! And if a fighter could be an extension of his body, then maybe, to a mechanized being such as herself...
Bzzzzzz-no! Hibachi slapped herself.
Why do I always pick the worst times to think about stuff like this? It's time for the final attack!At a quarter health left, it was time for the big finale. Hibachi knew no matter how good Sapz was, he would not not survive.
"It's been a good run Sapz, but it's time to end this." Hibachi tried not to let her voice show the sadness behind these words.
"Bring it on, Hibachin."
And bring it on she did. A truly frightening barrage of triangular purple bullets came Sapz' way. Though he dodged deftly, he had only one bomb left, and the openings only left so much room to dodge. This would be over soon. Sure enough, that final bomb let forth, to which Hibachi brought her trusty invincibility shield to nullify. She was victorious. There was no way he would win. But...that would mean he'd go away. That would mean it would be back to the souless Japanese score-runners who thought nothing of her but as a tool for points. She didn't want that!
But it's my duty. I can't go easy, not even on him. But can I show how I feel...?Her man-made brain straining to think while continuing to fire, after a few seconds she figured it something she could do. Manipulating the current of bullets, she let out one final burst -
Leaving an opening in the shape of a heart.
A solid wall following this, Sapz failed to dodge.
Boom.And there he went, gone as quickly as he came. Hibachi ceased firing, turning her attention instead to the painful sound of the continue screen ticking down the seconds. She let out a sigh. Would Sapz ever reach her again?
"Augh! Good fight Hibachi. I'm going to call it a day. It's getting late."
In a sentimental tone exaggerated even more by her voice synthesizer, Hibachi cried out "Don't you want to continue?!"
"Nah, when I defeat you, it will be a glorious 1cc. I will be back Hibachi, and I will get you. For I am the bee hunter Sapz!"
That was the last she heard of his voice, and she heard the strangely sadistic voice wringing out the words "Game Over." Hibachi sighed. He must not have caught her feelings.
He dodged them after all...---
As the white curtain lowered back down, as a team of chain-smoking grunts in coveralls towed off Hachi's charred remains for repairs, Hibachi closed her eyes and thought of the man she had just encountered.
I'm Sapz, the bee hunter, and I have come for you!I've been waiting for this meeting for years.I will be back Hibachi, and I will get you.Bringing her upper limbs to her blushing cheeks, Hibachi sighed. "Yes Sapz, you will come again. You will come again to reignite the flame in my soul..."
"Oy! 'ibachi! 's time fo' repairs!" One of the workers belted this uncultured banter at her, but nothing could spoil her mood now. She awaited Sapz' return with great anticipation.
"Coming~"
Closing MAME.exe---
* Donut cackles.
And that's that! With school starting next week, updates may still be sparse, but I am back! Hope you enjoyed my little crack fic. :3