Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Hakurei Shrine~ => Patchouli's Scarlet Library => Topic started by: Zero Izayoi on August 09, 2012, 02:51:04 AM
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So! I feel down. A lot. And when I do, I channel the completely black feelings that I'm experiencing and write them down. Usually they turn out as extremely dark, but well written poems about whatever my self-loathing decided to bring to mind at the time.
But seriously, though, some of these are pretty good (at least I think so :ohdear:).
Let me know what you think.
My latest:
どうして
I stand here aching, angry at my surroundings.
I charge.
In a moment, the darkness will be lifted and I
shall truly see
the failure I?ve become, grown into.
The one I love, the one I curse,
that very one.
My eyes will be opened to the bright abyss of a dream,
not finished, but full. Full of memory.
Memory of my former body, my infantile casing,
and who I used to be.
?Will you show me?? I ask.
「どうして」it responds.
?Unending black, how sweet the pain,
of my unending life.
I once was lost, but now I?m dead,
am blind, and cannot see.?
Are you with me anymore?
My new hymn, my new existence, what have I become?
More dark than not, overflowing with insanity,
my rage boileth over.
I wonder what I?ll see when I awake
from this unending dream.
I know it is the end. I see it now.
No more sadness, no more pain?
I cannot enter.
I WILL NOT ENTER.
I owe myself that much.
The pain cannot cease, neither can the blackness inside,
I won?t allow it?
I deserve this hell.
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Now.. Why do I feel the poem is about Koishi..?
Is it? ???
Pretty dark, but I like it :3
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Nope, Koishi did not inspire this. Although it would be cool if she did :3
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Somehow the latter part of it suddenly reminds me of Koishi (in my POV, though) :D
So, this is an original (Non-touhou) poem?
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Yep. I had originally posted it in the Cafe because of it's non-Touhou nature, but it was moved here.
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Hey, that means...
We can post original works here? :3
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I guess...
EPIC MOMENT OF REALIZATION! :yukkuri:
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I guess...
EPIC MOMENT OF REALIZATION! :yukkuri:
:yukkuri:
I've just re-read the rules of PSL.. and it does say we can post original works here but with caption like [Original], [Non-Touhou] in our works' title. Yay! :getdown:
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I get the idea of a tsukumogami when reading.
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I get the idea of a tsukumogami when reading.
That's a very interesting concept, I'll have to look into that a little more.
A couple more:
Untitled
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I'm crying for you.
Can you hear me?
I sit here broken and bleeding,
wrestling with my own emotions.
Why?
I love you, can't you see that?
You're the reason I keep going,
even though all hope has died.
My reality contradicts itself
in an unending world.
My memories, like a dense fog,
deny me, turn me away.
In this space between dream and reality
I am falling, fallen,
unable to move, to breathe,
to cry.
I lack sense, purpose, reason?
I have never been told "I love you"
by anyone.
I always make the move to be rejected.
All I want is someone,
someone to tell me they
love me.
Instead down, down this spiral leads...
To this place, here.
The End.
The emptiness I feel,
burns with longing.
I've failed.
Failure.
Failure...
I yearn to fix this break
in what never existed,
to reclaim my own reality,
even though it isn't real.
A fabrication of hope and dreams,
stop the bleeding, kill the pain.
I need you, but you don't need me,
as this transient sensation of Life passes by.
I wonder if I can reach you?
If we can escape reality and live
our lives in full.
I just want you to know
I won't stop.
I can't.
You have become my reality,
my reason.
You're all I have,
even though I can't have you.
Please...
I have no words left, no
expressions, no motivation,
no help, no hope, no-
No one.
You may not need me, but
I can't breathe without you.
I sit here, on the verge of tears,
but they won't come to me.
You made me who I am.
And I love you.
All I have left is my love
for you.
But you're not here.
I am dead.
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Adjectives
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Thoughtless,
Speechless, soundless,
Mindless...
Lonely!
I'm so lonely...
Sad, depressed,
Negative, double-negative,
Contradictory.
Drowning, floating,
Sinking?
Lovesick, heartbroken,
Unforgivable, useless, helpless,
Hopeless!
Swept away, dreaming, scheming,
Failing, falling.
Reaching, grasping, holding,
slipping...
Repeat.
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Untitled sounds like what the scientist who discovered oxygen would say.
Adjectives is really sad. But I think the "I" in it really doesn't give up, which is what is important. (somehow I thought of Miku's Rolling Girl (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=254Gc6r2LiE))
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I LOVE Rolling Girl.
And yeah, Adjectives was written to be able to read over and over again and still make sense in the order of things, as in when the "I" is slipping, they're thoughtless, and it begins again from there. I hope I made sense there, lol...
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Reading that too much would cause a depression so I only read once.