MarisaStory: A Certain Magical Internet

[capt. h]

> Hit the thing with the magic until the thing is dead.

> Don't get hit.


> If this is a dream, I suppose we could try telling ourselves that, seeing if that wakes us up.

> Or dying. Dying usually works too.

> On second thought, let's put off the dying idea until later.

[Third Eye Lem]

> Hit the thing with the magic until the thing is dead.

> What thing? You don't see any...Oh wait, more a's are coming in. And they're flying in formation, too. Their attack is a bit less lax than the ones you previously destroyed, but whatever, ze!

> Don't get hit.

> You'd have to be a kindergartner to let yourself get hit by this kiddy stuff. Ok, it is slightly difficult, but it's nothing you can't handle.

> If this is a dream, I suppose we could try telling ourselves that, seeing if that wakes us up.

> Or dying. Dying usually works too.

> On second thought, let's put off the dying idea until later.

> It's hard for you to tell if a dream is real or if reality is dream under one of four circumstances:
* You're in the Dream Realm, aka Yuuka's turf. You don't wanna be there.
* You're knocked out cold, aka what Medicine did to you earlier. You hope it's just this and not something worse.
* You're dead, aka adios'd, TKO'd, six feet under, buying the farm, etc. You definitely don't want to be this.
* You're drunk. All things considered, you'd rather be tanked than totaled.

> You don't feel tipsy, nor do you feel numb or weak (those stings from earlier notwithstanding), and you certainly don't feel like you're having an out of body experience. Therefore, you MUST be in the Dream Realm, right?
> ...Right??
> More a's fly in and attack you, this time from the sides. The fiends!

> _

[capt. h]

> Keep up the magic and lasers and stuff until we can find the escape key.

* You're dead, aka adios'd, TKO'd, six feet under, buying the farm, etc. You definitely don't want to be this.

> Be annoyed that Yuyuko makes death look so fun.

[Third Eye Lem]

> Keep up the magic and lasers and stuff until we can find the escape key.

> Sheesh, we're gonna make her do all the thinking? Fine. You dodge to one side of the enemy line and shoot up everything there, while the other line shoots at you before retreating.

> Be annoyed that Yuyuko makes death look so fun.

> A lull in the combat makes you think about the ghost princess...How does she cope with death, anyways? Yuyuko always struck you as someone who embodies the saying "ignorance is bliss," is it because she has accepted her fate as a ghost? Is it because she can enjoy food without gaining weight, like Reimu does? Or is the variety of ghosts she meets as they pass through the netherworld gate? Whatever the reason, she's one of the happiest people you've met in Gensokyo, and you envy Youmu's patience and loyalty towards her.

> You also envy the fact that she doesn't have to deal with ANGRY LETTERS THAT WANT YOU DEAD, ARGH, can't they just go away already?! That sting is really starting to hurt now...And that buzzing keeps getting louder...
> ...Wait, that's not another swarm, but...What is that huge thing up ahead?
> Oh, it's just another letter a, but it's 20 times bigger and it's surrounded by a swarm of smaller bees. If this were DoDonPachi, you'd be as good as dead. Your MAGIC SENSES reveal to you the monster's name and life force...

Code: [Select]

Hibachi-kun
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> Rings of danmaku shoot out, as the smaller a's dive directly at you and fire shots as well (though not at the same time, that'd be silly). Orders?

> _

[E-Nazrin]

>If we ever get breathing room, try to keep track of whether this resembles anything we've encountered before. Maybe on the computer? That's a lot of letters for no reason.
>Shoot down some of the smaller a's to shut them up. If they seem unreasonably durable or seem to be arriving endlessly, focus more on the giant bastard.
>Play it a little safe, this is a weirder situation than we usually fight in.

[Third Eye Lem]

>Shoot down some of the smaller a's to shut them up. If they seem unreasonably durable or seem to be arriving endlessly, focus more on the giant bastard.
>Play it a little safe, this is a weirder situation than we usually fight in.

> You do a little of both, focusing (lol) on the dodging while keeping track of where the monster is. The smaller a's die fairly quickly, but they respawn a second to two later. Not a huge deal, your constant fire quickly reduce's the monster's health to nothing. A bunch of point items and a LIFE FRAGMENT explode from the beast as it expires.
> Something--or perhaps someone--catches your eye after you destroy the giant a. Is it a nameless fairy? Either way, you just catch a glimpse of the figure as it floats away from the carnage, and soars away...Past more waves of yellow a's, and a few giant purple a's. Lovely.

>If we ever get breathing room, try to keep track of whether this resembles anything we've encountered before. Maybe on the computer? That's a lot of letters for no reason.

> You get all of two seconds to think about this before you're being attacked again. You've seen lots of text before, some of it colorful, but nothing arranged like this. Is this art? Is it architecture? Or is it something your poison-addled mind concocted on its own? Too many possibilities, and too many letters shooting at you to figure things out. If you ever make your way out of this alive, you're gonna start looking for answers.

> _

[E-Nazrin]

>Someone? Presumably humanoid, unlike everything else we've been fighting here? Likely our culprit, and possibly setting this all up as an illusion. Let's save a Spark for them.
>Get the purple ones down first, and get plenty of power ups. Do we have any sense how useful the point items might be for extra lives/health? Collect the safe ones if it feels like a good idea. Is autocollect working yet?

[Third Eye Lem]

>Get the purple ones down first, and get plenty of power ups. Do we have any sense how useful the point items might be for extra lives/health? Collect the safe ones if it feels like a good idea. Is autocollect working yet?

> Autocollect's been in effect since you got here. So far, you haven't felt a big surge of power other than collecting the powerups and spell/life fragments, but who knows? Just to be on the safe side, you collect as much as you can from the remaining waves of enemies.

>Someone? Presumably humanoid, unlike everything else we've been fighting here? Likely our culprit, and possibly setting this all up as an illusion. Let's save a Spark for them.

> The only things you can make out were that the figure had a black dress on, and sported a pair of wings. You decide to have a word or two with this person once you meet them...

> ...Which is right about now, in fact. The swarms of letters have stopped coming. In the distance, you see that figure sitting on the outside of one of those rooms you were in earlier. Now you can see her appearance: short, matty black hair, a slightly less black (and slightly tattered) dress, and skin that's the color off-white snow. Her wings are like that of a bat's, with a thin...Stick or bone holding up the membrane, which looks like it was made from spider silk. Her mouth is what surprises you the most...She literally seems to have taken the term "zip your lip" quite literally, her mouth is replaced by a dull metal zipper; the slider part dangles at the right side of her face. Her black eyes gaze at you as she smiles, giving off that look of welcoming yet off-putting creepiness at the same time.

> Without opening her mouth, she speaks to you. How she's able to broadcast her voice without speaking or using telepathy mystifies you, but it sounds natural and not at all mechanical.
> "I didn't expect you to find me...I'm at a bit of a loss for words. How about this...How are you?"

> _

[E-Nazrin]

>Cheat and Spark her before her healthbar starts filling
>"Probably a little baked. Yourself?"
>We get names without introductions in these situations, don't we?

[Third Eye Lem]

>Cheat and Spark her before her healthbar starts filling

> You end up breaking the script and freezing the game. You're trapped here for all eternity!

>We get names without introductions in these situations, don't we?

> I guess? How DO Touhou characters greet each other (aside from the obvious)? At any rate...

Skella
~ The Voice of Death ~

> There ya go.

>"Probably a little baked. Yourself?"

> "Oh, I can't really complain...Other than the fact that you tore through my bee army in less than five minutes. I knew I should have picked a tougher enemy." Her smile falters a bit as she says this.

> _

[E-Nazrin]

>"Bees? They looked more like A's. A-holes, perhaps."
>"I don't suppose you'd have any aspirin?"

[capt. h]

> "Hey Skella, are you and your zipper mouth really there or am I just having poison spore hallucinations?"

> "...Again."

[Third Eye Lem]

>"Bees? They looked more like A's. A-holes, perhaps."

> Skella shrugs. "This world has a strange way to rendering things. I don't bother questioning it.

> "Hey Skella, Are you and your zipper mouth really there or am I just having poison spore hallucinations?"
> "...Again."

> ALERT: The parser has detected Out Of Character knowledge, and has omitted it from the command. I'm pretty sure that the name and title cards are for our eyes only, not Marisa's, so forgive the enforcement of tradition here.
> In the unlikely event that Marisa breaks the fourth wall, only then will she be allowed to partake in OOC knowledge. :V
> Ahem. Anyways...
> "If the bees exist, I exist. Simple as that," Skella responds. "Where else would the Stage Spellcard come from?"

>"I don't suppose you'd have any aspirin?"

> Skella chuckles. "The only illness I treat is life...And the only cure for it is death."

> _

[E-Nazrin]

>"Ahh, that's a shame. That's not the kind of medicine I was looking for."
>"Now, are you going to stand aside, or should I give you a checkup, doctor?"

[Third Eye Lem]

>"Ahh, that's a shame. That's not the kind of medicine I was looking for."

> "Funny you should say that...Given who put you in this situation in the first place. I wonder how she'll react if she sees you again..."

>"Now, are you going to stand aside, or should I give you a checkup, doctor?"

> Cue boss music.
> "I'll be the one giving the diagnosis here. And it shall be this... Marisa Kirisame, age 18, died on September 8th, 2023, at 7:23 PM due to tremendous injuries." Skella chuckles again. "Want me to make your epitaph while I'm at it?"

> Parser's Note: You can continue the witty banter for a bit or jump right into the fight.
> _

[E-Nazrin]

>Well, signs are pointing to 'not dead yet.' That's... probably good?
>"Nah. I'll just give you a referral to the Yama. I'll send you the bill."
>... with violence, if she has nothing interesting to add!

[capt. h]

> Sigh. "Fine."

> Use normal magic. Set girl on fire.

> "Lemme know when you've had yer fill. We've got some talking to do."

[Third Eye Lem]

>Well, signs are pointing to 'not dead yet.' That's... probably good?

> It beats being a pincushion for bees.

>"Nah. I'll just give you a referral to the Yama. I'll send you the bill."
>... with violence, if she has nothing interesting to add!

> Use normal magic. Set girl on fire.
> "Lemme know when you've had yer fill. We've got some talking to do."

> "You're as cheeky as your reputation makes you out to be." Skella spreads her wings and floats up to confront you.
> You attempt to set Skella on fire, but normal magic isn't allowed in spellcard duels! These rules were made for a reason!!
> ...Then again, a wise man once said, "Screw the rules, I have money!" The only problem is you don't have much money, either on you or in this realm, but you do have magic spells. You shoot some fireballs at Skella, who in traditional spell fashion just stands there and takes the punishment.
> "Ha, I've dealt with worse pain. You on the other hand...Are going to beg for your demise!" Skella attacks by sending needle-like danmaku at you (waves of aimed shots, and random shots that fall straight down).

> _

[capt. h]

> "Yeah, yeah,"

> Shift slowly to the left, dodging the random shots until we get close to a side, then make a big movement to the left, then start shifting slowly to the right while dodging the random shots. Repeat until Skella stops shooting.

> "We must still be in Gensokyo somewhere, or the spell card rules wouldn't hold, right?"

> "Because that's pretty much the only thing stopping me from setting you on fire with normal magic."

[Third Eye Lem]

> "Yeah, yeah,"

> Shift slowly to the left, dodging the random shots until we get close to a side, then make a big movement to the left, then start shifting slowly to the right while dodging the random shots. Repeat until Skella stops shooting.

> Your tried and true strategy works, and Skella declares her first spell card.
> "Pain Sign [Needle In a Haystack]"
> Shots rain down, and some of them hide needle bullets (they stick out from behind the falling shots, though). When one passes by your horizontal position, the needle shoots at you.

> "We must still be in Gensokyo somewhere, or the spell card rules wouldn't hold, right?"

> "Because that's pretty much the only thing stopping me from setting you on fire with normal magic."

> "I wouldn't know anything about a Gensokyo, though I have heard a few of the locals mention it. What's it like?"

> _

[capt. h]

> "Like this place, but with a different texture pack."

> Same strategy as before, except shifting up and down to dodge homing shots, with an occasional left or right correction to dodge the shots that fall directly overhead.

> "So if this isn't Gensokyo, why are you using spellcards?"

>_

[Third Eye Lem]

> "Like this place, but with a different texture pack."

> "...What kind of texture? Is it fuzzy, smooth, rough, what exactly do you mean?"

> Same strategy as before, except shifting up and down to dodge homing shots, with an occasional left or right correction to dodge the shots that fall directly overhead.

> It's a little trickier, but it's not like you're in danger of getting hit right now.

> "So if this isn't Gensokyo, why are you using spellcards?"

> "...That's a good question. I guess the locals found out about them and started using them, and their popularity spread." Skella chuckles. "Things like that happen very easily in this realm."

>_

[capt. h]

> "...What kind of texture? Is it fuzzy, smooth, rough, what exactly do you mean?"

> "All of them, in varying amounts."

> "If ya wanna talk, talk. If ya wanna shoot, shoot. And if ya wanna stop, I could really go for a beer while I tells ya all about Gensokyo."

> Wonder when she'll get bored of shooting at us.

[Third Eye Lem]

> "All of them, in varying amounts."

> "R-Really?" Skella seems to strain a bit as the timer on her spell card runs down...

> "If ya wanna talk, talk. If ya wanna shoot, shoot. And if ya wanna stop, I could really go for a beer while I tells ya all about Gensokyo."

> Wonder when she'll get bored of shooting at us.

> "I can't stop! That'd be improper! There are rules for this, you know!"
> You assure Skella you know of the rules quite well...Including the part where her spell card is about to run out.
> PTCHUUUUUN, BONUS FAILED, etc.
> "Argh, that was cheap, getting me to waste my spell like that..." Skella grumbles was she winds up for another regular attack. Rows of needles fall down random while regular bullets appear and fire directly at you.

> _

[capt. h]

> Use the old back and forth trick again.

> "Cheap? I survived every wave of your spell card without even hitting you once!"

> "...screw it. I'm done being nice."

> Shoot girl until she stops moving attacking. Blast way through final spellcard before she really even gets an opportunity to start it. Use that trick we used during the Imperishable Night incident where we used lasers with magic missile for double damage. Keep power level between 3 and 3.95 and blast her away with repeated unfocused shots.

[Third Eye Lem]

> "Cheap? I survived every wave of your spell card without even hitting you once!"

> Use the old back and forth trick again.

> Your comeback is rendered moot, as your standard back and forth tactic fails you. You get hit and lost a life (2 left). Skella cackles at your failure.

> "...screw it. I'm done being nice."

> Shoot girl until she stops moving attacking. Blast way through final spellcard before she really even gets an opportunity to start it. Use that trick we used during the Imperishable Night incident where we used lasers with magic missile for double damage. Keep power level between 3 and 3.95 and blast her away with repeated unfocused shots.

> You pick off Skella's last nonspell with what firepower you have remaining, and the instant the little twerp declares her next spell, you Master Spark her. We don't even get a chance to see the title of the card before Skella explodes in a cloud of zeroes and ones. :V
> Of course, despite all that violence, Skella survives, albeit worse for wear. Her hair's a mess, there's a few holes in her dress, and one of her wings looks like a bear tried to maul it off. Yet, in spite of all that, Skella manages to continue talking in her affably disturbing manner.
> "Crap...So much for killing you with this spell card system. You win this time, but when we cross paths again, you're going regret ever meeting me!" With that, Skella vanishes...And so does the rest of the scenery around you. You start to loose consciousness again...

> ...
> From somewhere, a transmission...
> "...What've I been doing? Why do you ask?...Oh, you saw me playing Rogue Legacy? how many hours? Oh, that's just...Wait, in one day? No, no, you got it all wrong, I can stop any time I want...Once I get all the upgrades. And the equipment. And beat the game a second time...It's not an addiction, ok?! I'm just very invested in--ok, that was just uncalled for. I don't hassle you about your gaming habits, you shouldn't do the same with me..."
> ...
> You can't hear the message anymore. It sounds like a man...or a boy? You couldn't tell.
> Feeling starts to return to your body. Your vision blurs a bit as you open your eyes...And see Mini Medi staring you right in the face!
> Welcome back, sleepyhead, she says, grinning. Had a nice nap?
> You grumble and brush her aside for the moment as you get your bearings. You seem to be back in your room, on your bed. Things look unchanged since you here last time, barring the fact that it's much darker outside. Nighttime is approaching fast.
> You ask Mini Medi what the hell happened after Medicine poisoned you, and asked why she's still here. I'd could, but it's best you see for yourself, Mini-Medi says, directing you towards your bedroom mirror. One look explains why it'd be hard to explain...Somehow, you're inside Medicine's body! You try to pinch yourself, to see if it's all just a dream, but you find it impossible; doll plastic isn't exactly flexible.
> Well, look on the bright side...At least we match. Mini-Medi giggles as you facepalm at this development.

> _

[E-Nazrin]

>Write down what we can remember about that 'transmission' and the whole mess with Skella before we forget anything. Probably something important in there. But... only one stage? What the hell?
>Medi, I hope you're in here so I can torment you!
>Find Alice.

[capt. h]

> "Damn doll's smarter than she looks. Hard to kill someone when they're you."

> "Now you wanna tell me what's going on?"

> Making the appropriate threatening facial expressions is gonna be hard with an inanimate face.

[Third Eye Lem]

>Write down what we can remember about that 'transmission' and the whole mess with Skella before we forget anything. Probably something important in there. But... only one stage? What the hell?

> You're not sure why that dream of yours happened, but you decide to file it away for future reference in your journal. Which is at the bottom of your dresser. Locked behind a magical cypher wheel. And encased in a forcefield. And is written in rot13. You're kind of thankful Nitori told you about the one thing that you don't need a computer for when you solved the Youkai Mountain incident.
> On that note, you add in a couple of other things as well...

> Journal Entry Added: Alice's Adventure Addiction -- You think Alice is eager to go back into incident solving again, but she seems...Hesitant. You tried asking her about it, but she just smiled and brushed it off. This was written before you started playing Guildies with her.
> Journal Entry Added: Tumors Terrorizing Kaguya's Cohorts -- Upon visiting Eientei, you discover that the rabbits are playing a new MMO called "Guildies!" Yes, it's spelled with an exclamation point. Somehow, it's making the inaba of Eientei sick, but you've yet to discover the true cause of it.
> Journal Entry Added: Medicine's Mental Mayhem -- Somehow, Medicine got you stuck in her own body. How the fuck does that work?! On a related note...
     > Addendum: Digital Dreaming Deathtrap -- While you were unconscious, you drifted through a sea of ASCII characters and almost barely got murdered by some skeletal fairy person thing. You also heard a mysterious voice in your travels...Who does it belong to?

>Medi, I hope you're in here so I can torment you!
>Find Alice.

> Medicine doesn't respond. In fact, you can't feel a connection with her anymore. You ask Mini-Medi about what's going on. Isn't it obvious? She swapped bodies with you and took off. Alice was nice enough to put you in your room for safe keeping before she gave chase. I have no idea where either of them are now.

> "Damn doll's smarter than she looks. Hard to kill someone when they're you."
> "Now you wanna tell me what's going on?"

> Blame Medicine. For years, she's wanted to become more human...So she looked up a body-swapping spell while working under Eirin. She was just looking for someone to practice it on when you two showed up...Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, huh?

> Making the appropriate threatening facial expressions is gonna be hard with an inanimate face.

> Your face is actually quite emotive. Somehow, your face is able to move just like a human's in spite of being made of plastic...Magic is a wonderful thing sometimes.

> _

[capt. h]

> Change clothes into a proper witching outfit and give ourselves a braid.

> ...So we no longer feel pain and alongside Medicine's body we probably gained the lifespan that goes with it. Wonder why Medicine gave herself such a raw deal.

> No wait, we're pretty sure being forced into someone else's immortal body is a bad thing. We've got to get our old body back! For reasons we will now go over in our head.

> Check with the pocket medic whether medicine usually has weird dreams.