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Process of how this got started in the OP. Or, you can catch up on the current story being written through the glorious democratic input of the masses:
Part 1 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,14766.msg975113.html#msg975113)
Part 2 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,14766.msg975706.html#msg975706)
Part 3 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,14766.msg981680.html#msg981680)
Part 4 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,14766.msg991455.html#msg991455)
Part 5 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,14766.msg1002340.html#msg1002340) FINAL
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Hey guys! Been a while, hasn't it?
Lately I've been getting the itch to write some more comedy fanfic, like I used to back in the day. Stories like Down on the Corner (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=4876.5) and Kaguya Throws A Party (https://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=4938.0) come to mind. I want to have our girls staying true to themselves, canonically (which I think is enough for comedy material) while at the same time pushing new horizons.
The thing is, though, is that writing's a lonely job. So rather than throw walls of text at you, I'm looking for your participation.
That's right: you'll not only pick the cast and major plot point by popular request - you'll get to vote for what new twists and turns arise as the story continues. You get the easy bits, and I do the work, all for your enjoyment.
So, shall we?
Cast (choose four):
-Reimu
-Aya
-Cirno
-Mystia
-Yukari
-Mokou
-Nitori
-Futo
-Kaguya
-Kanako
-Marisa
-Shou
Plot (choose one):
-Pie eating contest goes horribly wrong.
-Modern, living politician gapped into Gensokyo (must indicate which politician).
-There are no steamed dumplings in the Human Village.
-Gensokyo Idol.
-Someone discovers an amazing new secret power.
A line that one character must say at least once:
- "I picked a bad day to quit smoking."
- "Whatever it is, I'm sure that's not how you're supposed to wear it."
- "Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade!"
- "The last person who said that to me got a face full of danmaku."
- "Hey, look on the bright side - it's better than drinking sand."
Respond with your votes - popular demand determines the foundation for the story I start writing for you guys. After posting Part 1, I will introduce five (5) possible plot turns to choose from, and popular votes will determine which gets used. And so on.
Let's write the greatest and most funniest Touhou fanfic together!
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Cast: Reimu/Futo/Shou/Kanako (for maximum religious tension)
Plot: Barack Obama gapped into Gensokyo (his support ratings are so low that no-one wants to admit he exists anymore)
Necessary Line: "Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade!"
You're welcome.
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Oh dear this sounds just crazy. Can I just vote for Rou's suggestion because I reeeeeally wanna see that written?
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Cast (choose four):
-Kanako
-Mokou
-Futo
-Kaguya
Four characters with a lot of history here!
Plot (choose one):
-Modern, living politician gapped into Gensokyo (must indicate which politician) - Loli Angela Merkel or Loli Bara Obama! Make it happen!
A line that one character must say at least once:
- "The last person who said that to me got a face full of danmaku."
It's friday! I am looking forward to the weeken... I mean, I am really curious about what you come up with!
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- Mokou, Cirno, Marisa, and... if there must be a fourth, Nitori?
- Plot: Emergency! There are no steamed dumplings in the village! Marisa stole all the precious steamed dumplings
- Line: "Hey, look on the bright side - it's better than drinking sand."
Regardless of which story you pick, I do cast one vote for Mokou, and if Mokou gets picked, one vote for Cirno as well.
This is going to be interesting. Thanks for putting it up.
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Cast (choose four):
-Reimu
-Aya
-Nitori
-Kaguya
Plot (choose one):
-Modern, living politician gapped into Gensokyo (must indicate which politician) - I like the Barack Obama idea
A line that one character must say at least once:
- "I picked a bad day to quit smoking."
This sounds like it'll be hilarious with whatever's picked. :3
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Cirno, Mystia, Shou, Nitori
4 side characters get an adventure of their own!
GENSOKYOO IDORUUUU
Obama arrives in Gensokyo, hoping to find more extreme socialist policies that he can adapt to his conservative-tears-fueled welfare regime.
"Marmalade! (x4)"
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Looks like you guys really want to see Obama in Gensokyo. I can't say I blame you.
I'll just have to sort out the cast, so, do chime in while you can if you want to have an influence where that's concerned.
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-Cirno
-Mystia
-Futo
-Shou
-Someone discovers an amazing new secret power.
- "Whatever it is, I'm sure that's not how you're supposed to wear it."
Man, those choices write themselves. Thanks, Obama.
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Futo Kanako Shou Reimu
OBAMA ENTERS GENSOKYO
"Hey, look on the bright side - it's better than drinking sand." - Probably said to Obama
Aka what Sango said minus the quote.
I was going to go with Cirno/Mokou/Kaguya/Yukari with probably the contest, but this is much funnier.
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OK, the people have spoken!
It's going to be Obama in Gensokyo. As far as the cast goes, the results are as follows:
Futo: 5
Shou: 5
Kanako: 4
Reimu: 4
Nitori: 3
Cirno: 3
Mokou: 2
Kaguya: 2
Mystia: 2
Marisa: 1
Aya: 1
And everyone hates Yukari.
The marmalade line barely edged out the one about drinking sand, so we're going with that (though to be honest, the line about wearing it wrong was the one I was hoping for, given the possibilities, but hey, that's democracy for you.)
I'll begin working on Part 1 now. As I said, once posted, you will be given five (5) possible plot events to choose from in terms of what happens next, and popular vote will determine what gets picked. Let's get this youkai party started!
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OK, the people have spoken!
It's going to be Obama in Gensokyo. As far as the cast goes, the results are as follows:
Futo: 5
Shou: 5
Kanako: 4
Reimu: 4
Nitori: 3
Cirno: 3
Mokou: 2
Kaguya: 2
Mystia: 2
Marisa: 1
Aya: 1
And everyone hates Yukari.
The marmalade line barely edged out the one about drinking sand, so we're going with that (though to be honest, the line about wearing it wrong was the one I was hoping for, given the possibilities, but hey, that's democracy for you.)
I'll begin working on Part 1 now. As I said, once posted, you will be given five (5) possible plot events to choose from in terms of what happens next, and popular vote will determine what gets picked. Let's get this youkai party started!
Excellent, I cannot wait!
Perhaps you could include the other lines as well later on, like having a vote for which line you'll also do later on?
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And so the wait begins~
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(And awaaaay we go!)
YES HE CAN
Part 1: The Amazing Discovery!
Reimu stood at the front steps of Hakurei Shrine, letting her broom brush over the leaves, without actually clearing them. She had been standing at this same spot for twenty minutes now, and hadn't even noticed that the occasional summer breeze was blowing more leaves in front of her than she was clearing away.
Things have really changed in Gensokyo, she thought. Sure, there had always been conflicts and disagreements. It seemed to happen like clockwork, even: year after year, some newcomer would make their presence known by upsetting the balance of things, she would be obliged to investigate, there'd be a danmaku fight, then everyone would have tea. The end. Only this time, it seemed things were getting serious, due to religion.
Pah, Reimu shook her head. Why does anyone in Gensokyo need to believe in anything but the Hakurei God? Without them, there'd be no Gensokyo. But no, there had to be all these other crazy faiths appearing, because some people just had to be different or whatever. And now there was going to be some huge brawl about it. A graceless, ugly fight involving fists and kicking and such. I mean what is that? You might as well have a pie-throwing contest, or mud wrestle. There is no beauty in kicking someone in the teeth.
Reimu sighed and sat down on the steps. Maybe Gensokyo was changing without her. Maybe people weren't satisfied with showing gratitude to the kami and celebrating their miracles. And what would become of her then? She shuddered at the thought.
It was then she heard the sort of clumsy stomping through the underbrush around the shrine that could only come from one of the villagers. She smiled to herself as she stood. Visitors might be rare, but they still happen. So long as someone shows up now and then, there might be hope yet.
Only the person who stepped out of the underbrush was clearly not one of the villagers. For one, he was way too tall. For another, his clothes were all wrong - it was some dark, tight-fitting garment, with a silly red cloth tied in front of his neck. Most telling of all, his expression was one of confusion and not a small amount of fear. Still, a visitor was a visitor, so Reimu cleared her throat, bowed, and began her welcome.
"Welcome, visitor, to the Hakurei Shrine! The god awaits your prayers and thanks. Please do feel free to leave a dona-"
"I'm sorry, my Japanese is a little rusty," the stranger interrupted. "First off ... I want to thank you for that warm welcome ... uh the problem is, you see ... uh I appear to be lost ... uh young lady. Can you tell me ... uh where I am?"
Reimu hesitated. His Japanese wasn't bad, but his way of speaking seemed a little off, in some inexplicable way she couldn't quite place.
"This is the Hakurei Shrine," Reimu repeated, clasping her hands in front of her. "And who would you be?"
"Uh thank you ... you're right, you said that," the stranger continued, and approached. And then he smiled - or rather, he showed all of his teeth, while his eyes remained still and lifeless. At first he extended his hand, but then quickly withdrew it, and bowed. "You mean .... uh you don't know who I am?"
Reimu shook her head. "Should I?"
"I'm Barack Obama ... uh the president of the United States?"
Reimu shrugged. What the hell was he going on about?
"You do know the United States, right? America?"
Reimu shook her head, and furrowed her brow. "Are you feeling alright?"
Barack sighed, sat at the shrine steps, and rubbed his eyes with one hand. And then he began to cry.
Oh no, Reimu thought. This can't be happening. "W-Why don't I get you some tea? Would you like that?"
Not looking up, Barack nodded a little.
"Alright, I'll get some tea. You just wait here."
Reimu quickly prepared some tea, leaving Barack quietly sobbing at the shrine steps. This could be my chance, she thought. This poor, lost soul has somehow ended up here, at my shrine, in need of help. This is a sign, she decided. Show him enough kindness, and she could have a new follower for the Hakurei God. This could really be a turning point for her.
She walked back down the steps, and handed the ceramic cup of tea to Barack. "Here. Drink this, it'll refresh you."
"Thank you," said Barack, and drank deeply of the steaming hot tea.
"So ..." Reimu began, searching for the right words. "You're not from around here, are you?"
Barack shook his head, and looked up at her. "And I don't know how I got here, either .... uh I don't remember a lot, since that press conference ... all the questions, the accusations ... uh it was over-HW-elming ... I had to get away. I just got on the jet ... uh and there was a storm but ... I just don't know ..." Barack took another sip of tea.
Reimu didn't understand half of what Barack was saying, but it was clear to her that he was hopelessly lost. But now, he was hers. All hers. She suppressed a smile as she imagined him in a hakima, doing all the boring stuff like sweeping leaves and changing the ashes in the fire, while she had the time to do all the things she'd been meaning to do, like learning how to sew, or go swimming in Misty Lake, or-
Her reverie was broken by the sound of approaching footsteps up the path. The shrine was pretty popular today! Could this be her lucky day after all? Reimu stood, smiling again. Only that smile quickly dropped when she saw who was approaching: none other than that Buddhist with the rage issues, and that freaky little Taoist twerp.
"Oh no," Reimu said.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
1. Reimu hurries Obama inside before Shou and Futo see him.
2. Shou and Futo spot him, and engage him in conversation.
3. Obama sees them, and runs screaming into the forest.
4. Reimu tries to hurry Obama inside, but Shou and Futo stop her.
5. Shou and Futo see Obama, and immediately attack.
YOU DECIDE IT, I WRITE IT: GO!
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Poor Obama-chan ;_;
Let's go for Option 3.
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I'm all for Option 4.
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Either 2 or 4.
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4 or 5 here.
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Wait, I thought Ichirin was the one with rage issues. :wat:
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Option 4.
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Let's go with option 4 here. This is already turnoing out to be a great start! :3
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Option 4 i guess.
Is there an option where shous ears come up?
(Although option 3 amuses me if only because the thought of the president having an irrational fear of tiger girl cosplayers sounds hilarious.)
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Option 4. :D This is so good, you're not a bad writer.
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Looks like Option 4 it is - consider voting closed.
Part 2 soon to come is here! (Pardon the delay, these should be weekly.)
4. Reimu tries to hurry Obama inside, but Shou and Futo stop her.
YES HE CAN
Part 2: I Saw Him First!
"Oh no," Reimu said, seeing Shou and Futo approaching. "Uh, Obama, how about we go inside? You should probably rest."
But as Obama stood, Shou and Futo momentarily stopped in their tracks, and then quickened their pace.
"Reimu!," called Futo. "Hang on a second, I forgot - I thought of another way I'm going wreck you at the fight tomorrow!"
"Sorry, kind of busy!," Reimu called back, as Obama turned towards the approaching pair.
Futo and Shou froze in their tracks. "Who's this human, Reimu?," said Shou.
Reimu considered the fact that the two were relative newcomers, and still pretty unfamiliar with the regular faces at the village. With split-second thinking, she spun together a backstory about Obama to send them on their way. Before she could speak, Obama smiled at Futo and Shou, and approached them.
"Good afternoon," said Obama. "I'm pleased to make your acquaintance ... uh my name is Barack Obama. Can you tell me where I am?"
Futo and Shou looked at each other a moment.
"Reimu," said Futo. "A word, please."
Reimu sighed, approaching. The jig was up. Obama stepped back from the three.
"Who is this?," Futo asked. "How did he get here?"
"Look, I honestly don't understand half he says," said Reimu. "His name is Barack Obama, and he claims to be 'president' of some place I never heard of. I think he might be crazy."
"A president?," Shou considered. "It's a title, I guess?"
Reimu shrugged.
"Well, we can approach this logically," said Futo. "By process of elimination. If he's a titled person of a place, that makes him a leader. Right? But what kind of leader. We know there's no political title called president."
Shou and Reimu nodded.
"And we know there's no magician title called president, either," added Futo. "Nor merchant. Which can only mean ..."
Shou and Reimu waited.
"Uh if you'll pardon me a moment," Obama said, approaching. "Do any of you have a cellphone? ... uh a laptop? I'm not sure I could get a signal out here ... uh but there are people looking for me. And they do need to find me."
"I have ...," said Shou. "No idea what you just said."
Futo snapped her fingers. "He's a religious leader!"
Shou and Reimu were stunned by the realization.
"This is going to be a pretty awful fight," said Reimu.
"Alright, let's not panic," said Shou. "We have to be sure." She turned to Obama. "Barack Obama! What faith do you represent?"
"That's ... uh a complex question," said Obama. "When we consider the nature of the creator ... uh I think what we should have in mind is the ... uh universal message of love, and tolerance. ... Uh all faiths should find a common ground ... uh to respect each others' differences, without declaring another's wrong."
The three Gensokyans considered Obama a moment.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
1. "This man is in league with the kappas," said Futo.
2. The three girls attempt to recruit Obama to join their faith.
3. Reimu argues that Obama should be left out of the fight.
4. Shou asks Obama an embarrassing question.
5. Obama continues speaking.
YOU DECIDE IT, I WRITE IT: GO!
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Custom: Obama searches for the teleprompter
This is a tough one.
Coin toss says 1.
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4 depending on the question.
"So would you consider yourself more of a buddhist or a taoist prophet?" comes to mind.
2 would be fun too.
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I'm in for number 4.
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I'd go for 4, but I'll pick 5 just for the hell of it.
4 will probably win either way...
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Decision 2!
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1, cause it's hilarious.
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4. Shou asks Obama an embarrassing question.
It looks like it's going to be 4, then. Interesting choice, guys.
YES HE CAN
Part 3: Change We Can't Believe In!
"Mr. Obama," said Shou. "What faith do you, yourself, practice?"
"Oh. Uh of course," said Obama. "I'm a Christian."
The three Gensokyans waited for him to continue.
"I will be more direct," Shou said. "Are you a Buddhist Christian, a Taoist Christian, or a Shinto Christian?"
Barack hesitated a moment. He made a short, incredulous laugh. "That's good, thank you. No, I'm a parishioner in the United Church of Christ. Out in Chicago, that's where I'm from. Well, not originally, but for most of my ... wait. You ... uh do know what Christianity is?"
The three shook their heads.
"Hm. And you're not here to fight?," asked Futo.
"To ... fight? What, no. Listen - I think my plane may have crashed. I need to get back home."
"I think he's telling the truth," said Reimu. "He doesn't look very strong. I mean he can't even fly."
Shou and Futo breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well, I'm glad that's settled then," said Shou. "I guess this is your acolyte then, Reimu. You'll need him to do housework if you expect to train well enough to go up against-"
"Did you just say I can't fly?," asked Obama.
The three turned to him.
"Well, you can't can you?," asked Futo. "If you could, you could just fly back home."
Obama put his hands in his pockets, and smiled at the three.
"Young lady," Obama said. "If I were to physically fly back to my home ... uh anyone seeing me do so would be so astounded that it would defy belief. It ... uh goes against everything we know about science. Some, I imagine, might accuse me of witchcraft. Now. I don't know uh ... what this place is ..."
Obama began to rise into the air. Three meters off the ground, he stood suspended in the air, looking down on the three girls.
"... Uh but it's clear you have a pitiful understanding of the outside world. No one at my home can ever know that I can fly, among many other things. But I will not have someone presume ... uh to my face, that I cannot fly."
Obama slowly lowered himself to the ground again. He approached the three, his hands still in his pockets, stopping just a step in front of them.
"Now. It sounds like there's some uh ... religious turmoil among you primitive peoples. Probably think there's an evil mountain spirit, or a giant goat threatening you all. Am I right? Some kind of-"
"Now wait just a moment," Reimu cut in. "The evil mountain spirit turned out to be a goddess, and we happen to be on good terms now. There was a tea party, and-"
"Whoah, hang on," said Obama. "Oh wait, you mean a literal-"
"Yes. There's always a tea party in the end. It's actually kind of funny. You see-"
"That's adorable," said Obama. "Anyway, thank you for proving my point. This ... uh podunk backwater of a country needs a little help is all. I happen to be well known for my negotiating skills. ... Uh perhaps I could mediate some talks between your factions? What do you say, ... uh you primitive savages?"
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
1. The three refuse unequivocally to any mediation talks.
2. One of the girls becomes curious to hear more of what Obama has in mind.
3. Reimu has enough of Obama's insults.
4. Futo has a terrible idea.
5. Suddenly, a loud noise was heard down the path.
YOU DECIDE IT, I WRITE IT: GO!
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Wait. What.
Anyway, I'm going with 4: Futo has a terrible idea.
I'm curious what the terrible idea would be, unless it's a write in, in which case, I'm thinking magically powered fist fight to prove dominant religion between Reimu, Obama, Futo, and Shou.
Because the best way to prove you're religion is the only correct one is to beat all the other faiths into submission.
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First instinct says go with 4.
Logic says go with 2. It would be hilarious to hear what Obama has to say for mediation. It can only end well.
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4.
Let's ride this train into the ground!
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I'm gonna go with 4 as well. Seems like this can only prove to be hilarious.
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4. Futo has a terrible idea.
I have a good feeling about this!
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I'll go with 3, simply because I want to see Reimu getting pissed off at a foreigner :v
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4!!!
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3 just because
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4
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3! Obama or no Obama, no one dares to challenge the might of the armpit shrine maiden of Shinto! :V
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IV
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As funny is 3 would be, I'll go with 4.
Also, I never knew that Obama can fly.
Neat.
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IV.
Bad Futo ideas are best worst ideas.
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God damn, unequivocal support for 4, it looks like. Alright, voting closed, bad ideas to begin. Will edit here.
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This entire story is beautiful and should be turned into an OVA.
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This entire story is beautiful and should be turned into an OVA.
And on that note, it should definitely be continued! :derp:
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And on that note, it should definitely be continued! :derp:
I had to remind Tengukami about it in another thread.
We should be getting the next part soon, iirc.
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:D
An interesting coincidence: All the choices since the story began has been 4.
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That's because 4 always wins.
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That's because 4 always wins.
One of my home ratings in Animal Crossing was 4,434, after all.
I am waiting warmly for the girls who are preparing,
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I am sorry for this unprecedented serious delay. Some pretty emotionally stressful stuff has been going down in Not Gensokyo lately, but I'll be attending to this by or during the weekend.
I thank you all for your continued encouragement; I hope the next part won't disappoint.
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I am sorry for this unprecedented serious delay. Some pretty emotionally stressful stuff has been going down in Not Gensokyo lately, but I'll be attending to this by or during the weekend.
I thank you all for your continued encouragement; I hope the next part won't disappoint.
Take your time.
Serious stuff is more important than this.
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Alright, back to business.
4. Futo has a terrible idea.
YES HE CAN
Part 4: Consider Your Messages Read!
Futo snapped her fingers. "I just had a great idea. We know he can fly at least. What if - and just hear me out - we give him a challenge."
Reimu sighed.
"What we do," said Futo, "Is make him an offer. We each use one spell card against him. If he can dodge all three, we show him the way out. But!"
"Oh come on," said Reimu. "I have so much training to do. We don't even know where-"
"But if one of us hits him," said Futo, "Then he must ally himself with that person in the upcoming fight."
"I like it," said Shou.
"You would like it," said Reimu. "You need all the help you can get. Look, he came to my shrine, and I say-"
"Excuse me," said Obama. "I accept your uh challenge."
"Alright!" said Shou. "You know what time it is, Reimu?"
"Please don't say it again," said Reimu.
"It's curvy time, that's what time it is."
"Very well," said Futo, clearing her throat. "Since this was my idea, I retain the right of first attack."
"Shou goes next," said Reimu.
"Fine by me," Shou beamed, and began to rise. Futo and Reimu followed suit. Obama stood his ground.
"Then it's decided. Obama, are you ready?," said Futo, her hands already beginning to glow a bluish-white.
Obama rose, slowly, his hands on his hips, until he was eye level with Futo. "I am ready," he said.
Futo clapped her hands once, then rose, shifting fast to the left. She then released a group of glowing white orbs which blew scattershot towards Obama before hovering for a moment. Obama maintained his position. The orbs then began to rotate, releasing tightly-woven streams of arrows.
Obama leapt catlike through gaps in the streams, jack-knifing at sharp angles, with an expression so serene it insulted Futo. Raising her hands, all the arrows now pointed themselves at Obama, and struck. Just as quickly, Obama flanked his body into a lateral diving position, flying in a graceful, effortless arc just ahead of the chasing barrage of arrows. Within seconds, it was over.
The Gensokyans were speechless. Obama hovered where the stream ended, smiling at Futo.
"Was that it?," he said. "You were done? My goodness, uh ... young lady, that was pitiful. Now ... uh you other two, you can opt now to just take me home."
"Oh, you'll allow us that, will you?" said Shou. "How magnanimous."
"Was that uh sarcasm?" said Obama.
"You are the stranger in this land," said Shou, assuming the lotus position, her hands shaped into gentle prayer, an orange light beginning to form within them. "You do not get to set the terms. Nor change them."
With that, a blast of light flew from her hands, flashing the sight out of everyone's eyes for a split second. And when that split second was past, a wide, rotating band of curved orange shafts of light spun around Shou. The curved lights comprising the band were of varying sizes, and tightly knit, like the rings around a distant planet. They moved with incredible speed, at times spinning in small loops. And within it, Obama spun.
Rotating his body's axis at high speed, while tilting it at deftly chosen angles, Obama managed to avoid each shaft of light that passed him in the rushing current of the band.
"Time's running out," said Futo.
"Huh? Is he ..." said Shou, squinting a bit, tilting the band now, to no effect.
"And time," said Futo.
"Ha ha!," Obama yelled, dusting off his lapels.
"Were you grazing me?," said Shou.
Obama smiled.
Shou tightened her fists. "You grazed me?"
"Shou come on," said Reimu. "Rules are rules. You just told him that."
"Reimu, please," said Shou. "I can't let him get away with that. Just one more-"
"Shou, silence," said Futo. "You lost. It's Reimu's turn."
Shou glared at Obama. "This isn't over."
"Alright, anyway, enough amateur hour," said Reimu, raising her gohei, red sparks beginning to appear around it. "Time for a professional to take over."
Reimu began to fly in a ring around Obama, her speed increasing so rapidly she soon was just a red blur. Obama furrowed his brow. Four ying-yang orbs, each the size of Obama, appeared at compass points around him. Then the attack began.
Each orb fired out a mass of glowing red spheres at random intervals towards the center. From within the spinning blur of Reimu's orbits, dozens of streams of red cards rushed towards each other, crossing at the center, before bouncing off of Reimu's spin and shooting back towards the center at a different angle. The maelstrom of danmaku audibly drummed in the air.
And yet it persisted. Obama couldn't even be seen within the lattice work of cards and the bursts of red spheres, yet he had to be somewhere in there. Without a way to aim at him, Reimu could only guess where he was hiding.
"Time's running out," said Futo.
Sweat misted on Reimu's brow as she began to tighten her orbit, spinning faster, making the danmaku ever denser.
"Time," said Futo.
The danmaku dispersed. Obama appeared within the dissipation, holding his knees to his chest. He released them, and took a standing position again.
Reimu looked at him: he had a slight smile on his face. Yet, he avoided eye contact.
"That little- He used a safe spot!," said Reimu.
"That's your problem," said Shou. "Kinda always has been."
"I don't remember asking what you think," said Reimu.
"The match is over," said Futo. "No one cares about your-"
"Uh ... if I may," said Obama. "There's something I'd like to say."
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
1. Obama demands they hold up their end of the bargain and get him home.
2. Obama offers to settle whatever dispute seems to be between them.
3. Obama, out of pure spite, attacks each of them with a spell card.
4. Obama suggests he be invited to witness this fight they're talking about.
5. Obama thanks them all from the bottom of his heart for the most fun he's ever had in his life.
YOU DECIDE IT, I WRITE IT: GO!
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Number 3! I wonder what Obama's spellcard would be? XD
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Aww, a response came up while I was typing this.
As awesome as 3 would be.... I'll go with...
KEINE-TAN TAKE THE WHEEL.
Keine-Tan has chosen 3. (http://gyazo.com/5309b9af6c5f676b54f23840384fe71b)
I was hoping for 5, but then I realized. Obama would be thanking Reimu.
I can't let that happen.
1 makes the most sense to me, but I want to see what Obama's spellcards would be like.
I'm out, yo. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VLNWAdksOw)
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I'm gonna go for number 2 here.
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Time for analysis!
1)As easy as it would seem, the others would probably be too ticked off to keep their word, except maybe Futo.
2)Obama did show interest in bringing order or some crap to these uncivilized people.
3)OBAMA BEATS UP THREE PEOPLE. YES. THEN FUTO AND SHOU CALL IN MIKO AND BYAKUREN. MAYBE KANAKO JOINS IN.
4)More characters, more battles, more Obama power. Sounds good.
5)Hahaha NO.
So yeah, 3 is my pick.
Just showing why.
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but but but the 4 chain!
ahh who am I kidding?
Coinflip chooses 5!... somehow.
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3, so we can see Patriot Sign "Stars and Strips Attack!"
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3. I want to see these ultra powerful freedom filled danmaku attacks with eagle and gun shaped danmaku.
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3. It will be glorious.
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Just to break the combo, I will vote for 2. Also, the curvy time comment was hilarious.
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Is there a way I can vote against a number? Because honestly, I'd like to see any of those except for 3. >_>
I guess I'll vote 5 for the time being, but I'll switch it to whatever has the best chance of making sure 3 doesn't win.
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Intriguing! It might be time for a Wild Card.
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Intriguing! It might be time for a Wild Card.
Wild Sign: Fireworks Blitz of Liberty/Victory?
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Wild Sign: Fireworks Blitz of Liberty/Victory?
No, I mean this kind of wild card:
WILD CARD!
Kilga has unlocked the Wild Card. This means the previous choice of plot points are now null and void. They are no longer in play and may not be used again.
Instead, you can post your own plot point of what you want to see happen next here. After a fair but short amount of time, one of these plot points will be randomly selected, and I will write it.
This Wild Card might appear again, or it might not. Either way, now's your choice to guide the new turn in this story, starting .... now!
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Obama decides that Gensokyo is bloody amazing and decides to challenge Kanako, Byakuren, Miko, etc, to gain religious control so he can become the top dog. And then he engages in a drinking duel with Suika because he never got to drink much as president.
There.
(Kilgamayan why did you have to ruin it.)
(That was in a joking/whatever tone, maybe. I still want to see Obama launch a spell card, even if it's not due to anger.)
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orgy@reimus
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Suddenly, Mima appears with the ghost of Osama Bin Laden
and a couple of random fairies. Obama and the girls must team up to defeat them.
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Suddenly, Mima appears with the ghost of Osama Bin Laden and a couple of random fairies. Obama and the girls must team up to defeat them.
EDIT: ignore this.
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I'll just vote for this.
Nope, sorry. This will be done by random selection; not popularity. Seconding won't be counted. You can post one of your own, though.
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A stray train, left over from one of Yukari's battles, wrecks the Hakurei Shrine. Obama offers to help rebuild it or something I guess.
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Idea: The girls and Obama learn the true meaning of Vladurday - by learning it from the man himself.
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> Obama and the girls are suddenly set upon a couple of former presidents who've found their way into Gensokyo.
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Obama reveals that NSA has in fact known about gensokyo and been spying on each of the girls and gathering pictures from Aya to use as blackmail to get them to fight wars for them.
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Oh my. Well, since this is my fault, I guess I have to submit something.
> Obama is about to say something important when a stray unknown bullet hits him in the side of the face. A moment later, Joe Biden runs up, apologizing profusely.
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>In the absence of the president, Miko and Kanako head to America in an attept to take it over. With Kanako in the north and Miko in the south, they start the second american civil war.
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Oh my. Well, since this is my fault, I guess I have to submit something.
> Obama is about to say something important when a stray unknown bullet hits him in the side of the face. A moment later, Joe Biden runs up, apologizing profusely.
I'm not sure whether I find this or the NSA one more brilliant.
Oh well.
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>In the absence of the president, Miko and Kanako head to America in an attept to take it over. With Kanako in the north and Miko in the south, they start the second american civil war.
Hey whoa why does Miko have to be red leader >:|
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She looks better in red than blue?
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Hey whoa why does Miko have to be red leader >:|
Because DEM YOUKAI ARE TAKIN' OUR JAAAEEERBBBBZ.
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Because DEM YOUKAI ARE TAKIN' OUR JAAAEEERBBBBZ.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I had to laugh at this. :D
But yes Kanako VS Miko american civil war version do want to see this.
*goes back into the lurker corner*
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She looks better in red than blue?
But she's too smart to be a teahadi! Let Poodlehead take advantage of them.
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Kilga, be nice. They prefer to be called "talibaptists".
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Yumeko appears out of nowhere. She challenges Obama and both duel. Secretly she is spying for Shinki.
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Just putting a little reminder here about our story. I hope that's not disallowed. :3
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Well, as this was a wild card, this will be the last chapter.
Nine possible plot turns to choose from. 1d9 (http://www.roll-dice-online.com/) says: 6
Obama reveals that NSA has in fact known about gensokyo and been spying on each of the girls and gathering pictures from Aya to use as blackmail to get them to fight wars for them.
This final chapter will also of course include Kanoko, and the Phrase Which Must Be Uttered, "Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade!"
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Well, as this was a wild card, this will be the last chapter.
Nine possible plot turns to choose from. 1d9 (http://www.roll-dice-online.com/) says: 6
Kanoko
Kanako's long-lost twin sister?
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Well, as this was a wild card, this will be the last chapter.
Nine possible plot turns to choose from. 1d9 (http://www.roll-dice-online.com/) says: 6
This final chapter will also of course include Kanoko, and the Phrase Which Must Be Uttered, "Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade!"
Someone wants to get it over with. :getdown:
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Hey, I could've just ignored this for good. Keep your sunny side up.
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Hey, I could've just ignored this for good. Keep your sunny side up.
I'll just watch warmly while maidens are preparing.
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OK, here we go: the final chapter of Obama in Gensokyo. This was a lot of fun for me, truly. Thanks a lot for your participation. Next time 'round, updates will happen faster, heh.
Obama reveals that NSA has in fact known about gensokyo and been spying on each of the girls and gathering pictures from Aya to use as blackmail to get them to fight wars for them.
YES HE CAN
Part 5: Worse Than Libya!
"The thing is," said Obama. "Well, I might as well come clean. It's clear to me that your uh ... primitive, almost paleolithic rudimentary forms of uh ... danmaku are not a challenge. So you pose no threat if you learn the truth."
The three Gensokyans blinked, suspended in air. Whatever their differences, even they knew that what they faced was a collective threat to their very way of life. Could they put religious differences aside, and unite against a common foe?
"Reimu, this is your fault by the way," said Shou. "Just a reminder."
Futo nodded. "If you had merely destroyed him the moment you saw him, none of this would have happened."
"What?," said Reimu. "Why would I even just-"
"The truth is," said Obama. "I already know everything about you. Not just you three, either. I mean each and every one of you. All I had to do was get close."
Obama straightened his tie.
"He is lying," said Futo. "That is completely impossible."
"Mononobe no Futo," said Obama, crossing his arms. "The Taoist hermit. Enjoys eating before bedtime, owns an extensive library on some lurid Sanskrit texts. She also enjoys dancing, usually in the early afternoon."
Futo betrayed no emotion, and said nothing.
"Shou Toramaru," said Obama.
"Wait," said Shou. "Futo, was that true? Are you really practicing dancing again?"
"I fail to see how this is the time or place," grumbled Futo.
"How do you know all this?", asked Reimu. "And why?"
"Well, let me try and explain it in terms your pre-evolutionary minds can comprehend. Uh ... you see, there's this group called the NSA. They're my eyes and ears. Nothing slips by. It doesn't matter if I'm flying over Antarctica. If you put the lid on your mustard crooked, I'll know in under six seconds. Anything that might pertain to US interests is relevant to me."
Obama looked at each one of them. And then he smiled.
"You think, what, that you can operate like this completely unseen? Folks popping in and out all the time? M-m." Obama shook his head. "I noticed that. The United States noticed that. And what we saw, my friends, was a brutal theocracy locked in a sectarian conflict."
"Whoah, hold on a minute," said Reimu. "That must mean ... you know someone from around here?"
"Let's just say a little bird told me."
Reimu fumed, silently.
"'Brutal theocracy?'," said Shou. "You can't be serious."
"Oh I couldn't be more serious. This conflict must come to an end. Because you see, we're a democracy. And the best thing about being a democracy is, you can share democracy with others."
Obama's hands began to glow golden from within, as small orbs of red, white and blue light started to spin around his hands. Obama's eyes widened, and glowed bright white. His smile broke into an open grin, like that of a killer possessed.
"Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade!," he shouted.
Instinctively, Reimu, Futo and Shou drew close together. As if on a primal, survival reflex, the three Gensokyans would concentrate their powers together to fight whatever Obama was going to give them.
From above Obama's shoulders, a wave of blue eagles roared forth. A calvalry of white cowboys stampeded towards the girls from his out-stretched arms. From his knees, battalions of red tanks raced forward, firing tens of thousands of bullets. The Gensokyans' squeezed their hitboxes so tightly they nearly prolapsed.
Suddenly, a deafening whistle blew through the air, and from over the heads of Reimu, Futo and Shou, huge slabs of green, red and blue cards, solid arcs with narrow spaces between them, flew towards Obama, evaporating everything he had coming at them.
The three turned around, looked up, and beheld Kanako Yasaka, hands outstretched, the arcs of cards flying from her palms.
"Aaaaah no!," cried Obama. "No no no! I suck at this one!"
Kanako laughed heartily. "Foolish mortal!," she bellowed. "Everybody sucks at this one!"
Obama desperately flailed the walls of cards, but his reflexes were off, his movements too hesitant. Still, he hung on.
"Go back!," yelled Kanako. "Go back to your United States! And tell them a Shinto goddess banished you from this place forever!"
Obama winced at the admonition, and the fear in his eyes showed he knew he wouldn't last. Seconds later, Obama evaporated in a bright flash of light and a static spark. The cards disappeared.
Reimu, Futo and Shou still held close together as they looked at the space where Obama once was. The air was still.
"Do you see?," Futo said to Reimu. "All you had to do was catch him off guard, and you could have killed him."
"I didn't kill him," said Kanako, reclining on the air. "But he's back to wherever he came from. Don't worry, I think he'll totally back off. I mean, what is he going to do, come back with an army?"
Kanako laughed. Reimu, Futo and Shou did not.
"Anyway, that was fun," said Kanako. "I swear that never gets old. I'll see you three at the fight, I suppose." With that, she was gone.
Reimu, Futo and Shou floated to the ground, to the very path where they had first met Obama. They were quiet for a moment, as if reflecting on this alien foe that they met that day.
"Well," said Shou. "It's pretty late in the afternoon now. No point in training this close to sundown."
"I agree," said Futo. "Rest is also important for the maintenance of a healthy body. Or so I have read."
Reimu nodded. "Yeah. So, tea?"
"Yes."
"Of course."
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fucking aya
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fucking aya
had absolutely nothing to do with this story :V
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had absolutely nothing to do with this story :V
read the last chapter again
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caw! caw!
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I should play/watch some MoF to see this card everyone sucks at.
I was actually hoping that Brobama would win, as he was the BROTAGONIST.
He lied. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPHgojJE0dI)
Oh well, great story.
10/10, etc.
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That spellcard is Virtue of Wind God.
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That spellcard is Virtue of Wind God.
That looks... fun.
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Rou also gets points for PROPHECY:
Cast: Reimu/Futo/Shou/Kanako (for maximum religious tension)
Plot: Barack Obama gapped into Gensokyo (his support ratings are so low that no-one wants to admit he exists anymore)
Necessary Line: "Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade!"
You're welcome.
Thanks much!
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"Marmalade! Marmalade! Marmalade!," he shouted.
Rou also gets points for PROPHECY:
Thanks much!
but he only says it 3 times...
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The fourth marmalade was
in your heart all along
.
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Originally my post was going to have the religious characters, because... what better cast?
I wasn't sure what politician to put, because for some reason Obama didn't come into my head, so I changed characters, and when I pressed post, Rou's brilliant idea came up, so I decided to just go ahead and second that.
I wonder though... what would have this story been like with Vladimir Putin, instead of Obama?
Oh well.
This was a fun ride.
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Beautiful, I've always been tracking this story since day 1. Shame that I only got around to replying this late.