Short #16 (A Gensokyoan Christmas), Part 1(/1)
Twas the night before Christmas and God was taking his annual white shi-...uhh? nevermind? Some things are better left unknown to human knowledge... Anyways...
Underneath the white blanket of God's sh-I mean a layer of 'snow', laid the magical land sealed away from the rest of the world since long ago: Gensokyo. Everyone was busy with their usual everyday-routines, carrying out their duties without a hint of the holiday spirit. This was because Christmas was a holiday alien to all of Gensokyo... all but one girl...
"But Reimu, I told you already, Christmas is fun! Sure it has got nothing to do with us but just the part about gift exchanges and having parties with your friends and family all night long, doesn't that make you at least interested in it?" said the shrine maiden of the Moriya Shrine who had come to visit the shrine maiden of Hakurei.
"Uhh, whatever..." said Reimu in a bored monotonous voice while sipping her tea. "What's so great about a holiday where a fat man breaks into people's houses to give coal to naughty children? Sounds like an incident to me... Actually, come to think about it, it sounds more like Marisa except without the 'giving' part..."
You see, Sanae had been going around Gensokyo, trying to spread the holiday spirit but was always promptly rejected, though some reactions were less negative...
"Cool! Climbin' into houses thru' chimneys? I wanna try that tonight, ze!" (An ordinary magician in the Forest of Magic)
"Bah! Eye'm still da strongest!" (The strongest fairy)
"Oh, good. A new playmate for Flan..." (The Scarlet Devil)
"A fat man? Is that so? Can I eat him?" (A walking ball of darkness)
"I wanna be trampled by his reindeer!" (A certain masochistic celestial)
"He's climbin' yo' windows', snatchin' yo' children up, tryin' ta' rape 'em, so y'all betta' hide yo' kids, hide yo' wifes' and hide yo' husbands cuz' he's rapin' errybody out there" (A drunk man running around Kourindou in a loincloth)
And then there were those who rather disliked the beliefs of Christmas that Sanae had told them. Reactions such as "I'll kill him if he steps on my flowers", "A Royal Flare should take care of such intruders", and "Goliath will take care of the roof tonight, thanks for the warning".
Tired and slowly giving up, Sanae decided to take a rest upon a nearby tree. Saddened by the fact that nobody was taking her seriously, she sobbed softly to herself and gradually fell asleep in her rather revealing shrine maiden outfit. A surprise she does not catch a cold, revealing her armpits like that despite the ?snow?...
...
"Huh? Where am I?" Sanae regained consciousness. "Oh that's right, I fell asle- who are you!?"
"Who? Me?" said the pink-haired girl with a smile as she stared as Sanae, her skin as pale as snow. "I'm a gho-"
"You're the Ghost of Christmas Past!?" Sanae said excitedly. "You're going to show me how Christmas was like in Gensokyo before we moved in here?"
"Uhh... no. I'm just a ghost... Remember? That ghost you fought back in Hisoutensoku? Not in Story Mode, though..." said Yuyuko. "And what's this Christmas thing you just mentioned?"
And so on she preached the ghost princess, for what had seemed like hours until she was interrupted by the sound of jingling bells echoing in the skies. A look at the dark, moonlit sky revealed a silhouette of a figure in a huge sleigh.
"Look! Look, you two! It's Santa!" Sanae was jumping on her toes, pointing at the flying silhouette against the moon.
"I'm sorry to tell you this Miss Kochiya," Youmu said while tapping her princess' back. "Yuyuko-sama had fallen asleep ever since you finished the part about eating. And well, she's pretty good at sleeping with her eyes open... and-"
*CRASH*
Sanae's eyes widened. Grabbing onto the half-ghost's hand, she forced both of them to follow her. At the site, in the middle of the Forest of Magic, lied the sleigh, crashed and broken. Four ordinary-looking horses were in the snow, still struggling to free themselves. Badly-made papier-mache was stuck onto each horse's head. The shrine maiden was brought to tears...
And out from the sleigh he stepped. Dressed in red, he got up and carried his bag. No more than a red bathrobe had covered the man. As the girls scanned its body up to its face, they came upon realisation that it was all just a hoax. A bear was all that stood there. Its bag dropped on the snowy ground, revealing loads of candy. The bear just stood there, stunned.
"I told you I'd get Goliath on guard here!" said a girl from the darkness. "Thanks again for your prior warning."
The bear turned and, without hesitation, sprinted away but was easily captured by the dolls that had been put on patrol by the dollmaster. Tens of tiny blades surrounded the phony, forcing him to drop onto the ground, covering his head, trembling and shaking in fear.
Alice the dollmaster approached the bear and grabbed it by its head. A slight tug was more than enough to 'behead' then man within; a man with a long, white beard and neatly-trimmed white hair. The shocked shrine maiden stood petrified, traumatized from her childhood beliefs. Santa having fake reindeers, then Santa being a pedophilliac bear who had been roaming the Internet for as long as she could remember and now-
"DAD!?" another scream of shock pierced the forest as a white, transparent... uhh... sperm cell-looking thing, curled around the man that looked suspiciously like Hakugyokurou's former gardener.
?And I could?ve gotten away with it too, if it weren?t for you meddling kids! And that doll!? said the aged man in the suit.
However, all voices turned silent when more bells are rung in the sky. This time it sounded like the bells one could find on reception counters. In the midnight sky, against the radiating moon, was a silhouette; not of a sleigh, but of a familiar figure on a broom with an empty sack on her back. Her distinctive hat was all that was needed to make out her true identity. A familiar voice then resounded in the sky...
"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, da ze~"