Author Topic: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)  (Read 20673 times)

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS
« Reply #30 on: October 25, 2010, 04:36:33 AM »
Once upon a time, there was a Matsuri
Who was indifferent towards breasts of kuri-kuri.
But when a busty lady professed her love,
Matsuri knew not what to think of!
And life suddenly became more screwy.
what's her naaaaaaaaaaaaame Matsyyyyyyyyyyyyy

is she cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute

this space reserved for PART THE LAST, which I would write now but a friend is coming to beat me up in a minute, so I'll do it before I crash tonight

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
  • *
    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS
« Reply #31 on: October 26, 2010, 04:27:58 AM »
PART THE LAST

He stood in triumph, bathed in the flow,
The sublime rush of victory, at the last.
He had traversed from the sea to the sky,
From stone chasms to majestic towers,
At the end, he was master.

Yet, the end it was not; the shadows
Clustered around him as he reached
For the key, encased in darkness,
That would free him at last from his exile,
Return him to the world.

At the last, this ultimate contact, he fell,
Driven to exhaustion, beyond the realms of man.
A husk of that greatness, he was pulled down
Once more by the embrace of iron,
Of the very walls themselves.

From his lofty perch he was cast down,
And down, to the nethermost depths of the halls.
His thirst he could bear no longer, and he fell
To the end, below the sainted streets,
Below the arc of man and sky.

The tale is told, the legend completed,
Before the glimmering light of winter's coming.
Hear, you who are told, the tale of one great,
Who passed above and below, rose to great heights,
And entered the mothering earth.

Let all who hear know of the Shim,
Let them hear and understand of his tale.
Let the lessons from here not be lost, let the
Days of man be as this tale itself!  Let thy life
Be one of fury and light!







ye gods, this was SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS
« Reply #32 on: October 26, 2010, 06:22:07 PM »
I freakin' loved that ending. :*

Where did you get the idea for this, anyway?

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS
« Reply #33 on: October 26, 2010, 08:25:15 PM »
I freakin' loved that ending. :*

Where did you get the idea for this, anyway?
Thanks!

I'll post a translation later and then all shall understand.  Unless you mean the idea to write this at all, which was me just sitting there and the phrase "the rise and fall of the Shim" popped into my head and it just kinda snowballed from there.

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS
« Reply #34 on: October 27, 2010, 04:18:04 AM »
Be seated, still, let no man leave
From hence, before the tale's been told
In full; a tale both grim and great,
Wonderful and terrible in form,
Vast and powerful in scope.

The traditional opening appeal of an epic.  Not much interpretation to do here.

Quote
From the West he came, the Sun's cradle,

Los Angeles, actually.

Quote
Where sea and sky and land do vie
For dominance, an endless struggle -
Fruitless, and yet not; the world
Is by this balance upheld.

Ever watch the sunset on the beach?

I rest my case.

Quote
On wings of steel and flame he flew,

A plane.

Quote
To the East, the lands of birthing;

New York. :fail:

Quote
He passed the Sun, beyond its fiery eye,
Beyond the yearning arc of the sky,
He soared the roads of heaven.

Flying east gives you a vastly shortened day.

Quote
Till at last he descended from his flight
And left his mark upon the mothering earth.
Ways unseen, unknown, he trod,
Through the darkness and the stone
To the last circle of retrieval.

Baggage claim.

You may shoot me now.

Quote
Yet not alone stood he; his kin,
His blood stood by him, and he by them.

I flew with my sister this time.

Quote
Their burdens he bore, in silence,
In the whispers of the earth and air

I had to drag her bag for her...

Quote
He raised the crushed and oppressed.

...since one of the wheels was broken.  Like, totally crushed, and couldn't turn.  And her bag was bloody heavy.

Quote
Hear this tale, hear of his coming,
That all shall know the truth behind
The legend.  For as the blazing
Flame cleanses and purifies,
Still it burns itself away to naught.

Once again, the appeal and the lesson that rounds off the first stanza.

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson


theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS
« Reply #36 on: October 28, 2010, 12:58:58 AM »
PART THE SECOND!

His sister left, he pressed on,

We split up when we reached Penn Station.

Quote
To the fullness of wares, the house pursuing.

There's a drugstore by the exit...with a Chase bank ATM.

You may reload and shoot again.

Quote
He sought to arm himself, to prepare
For the vast commitment of fools
And geniuses, in their part.

I'm going back to school.  I took some money out.

Quote
Then came before him, crowned in fire,

Redhead.

Quote
Joy radiating from his very self,

His name literally translates as "happiness".

Quote
The man with arms of steel and gold
And bronze, with justice upon him,
Bearing his shield and scale.

Said guy was going to jewelery school.  He actually had one early piece that he made with him, a shield with a scale emblazoned on it.

Quote
Yet swordless was he, unarmed,
Naked before the tempestuous fury he stood.

He was intending to add a sword in the middle, but had not done so yet.

Quote
A failure, he cried, despondent,
Incomplete in form, undone, he raised
His banner nonetheless.

He said he wasn't happy with it, and was probably going to get rid of it after he used it as a base to make better stuff.  In the meantime, he still had it, and it was still cool.

Quote
He left him, then, took paths unseen
Once more, where silver serpents thrashed
Eternally, in the darkening earth.
He rode upon their fury, drew their
Hellfire-sent power into himself.

The subway.

Quote
Until he stood upon the presiding heights,

Right now, I live in Washington Heights.

You may fire the rockets now.

Quote
Set his feet upon the ways that spanned
The city, newly come, yet old indeed.

Broadway.  New York.

Quote
Ascending the path of stone and man,
His bearing fixed on the dark tower.

So one of the buildings here is basically this monstrous 20-story or so tower that is the biggest thing around by far.  It's this huge, hulking building, which is also home to all the labs and science stuff.  One of my friends once referred to it as "the Dark Tower of sinister research".  It's pretty apt.

Quote
With grim and ghastly mien he climbed

I couldn't resist throwing this in when it occurred to me.  I love The Raven.

Quote
The arduous road, still bearing his burdens
Towards the pinnacle, the black spire,
Where waited his foe, haughty, majestic,
He would cast him down.
:o

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
That symbolism....   :o
goddamn hell shim, you should write so much more. This is absolutely awesome

theshirn

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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS
« Reply #38 on: October 28, 2010, 07:27:50 PM »
double posting because I'm awesome

damn straight

Quote
PART THE THIRD

At last he rose upon the sainted street,

One of the streets I needed to cross was St. Nicholas.

You may shoot once more.

Quote
Passed o'er the barrier and brick alike

One of the streets was closed off.

Quote
And came unto the Hall, the dwelling of those
Too callow to carve forth for themselves
Against the fierce tempest, a home.

A college dorm.

Quote
Still burdened, weary, he rose once more;

I was still carrying my bags, at least.

Quote
To the very last, to the arc of heaven,
To the wrathful door he was lifted

To wit, the door to my room.

Quote
Yet constrained; the walls around him closed,
Sealed him within their steely grasp.

The elevator.

:getdown:

Quote
Yet no match did they provide!  He raised
His mighty hand, and smote them, and they shuddered,
Groaning before the fierce and powerful force,

I pushed the button.  The elevator moved.

Quote
And gave way, and at last released him,
Before the door of his great foe.

He halted a moment and gathered his strength,
Marshalled his resources for the confrontation.

And rummaged for my keys, while I was at it.  I should've worked that in.  Oh well.

Quote
He had come far; a thousand thousand he had passed,
Over fire and water, earth and stone,
He rose now above them all.

The final moment come, he raised his great burden
One last time, and threw open the door.
Into the sanctuary he stepped, into the vastness
Of his enemy's splendor - a dream of excess,

My roommate has a lot of stuff.  I mean, PSP, DS, Wii, 360, PS2, PS3.  And he plays his games...

Quote
The eastern wind carrying.

...in Japanese.

You may commence the stabbing.

Quote
Before him his foe, all white-gold clad,

He was wearing a white and yellow striped shirt.

Quote
Resplendent, treacherous, overwhelming,
He raised his rod and thundered forth commands
And the very earth and sky rushed to his bidding,
Sight and sound and flame.

His rod?  Or...his Wiimote?

You may now drub.

* Rurotsuki drowns in the symbolism
That symbolism....   :o
goddamn hell shim, you should write so much more. This is absolutely awesome
What symbolism?  This is less symbolism and more ransacking the thesaurus, rifling its drawers for money and going through its desk for checks or anything I could use for identity theft before breaking another window and making my escape.

I am happy to hear that people are enjoying this, though. :)

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Matsuri

Dear god man, this is all pretty awesome.

You really should write more. <3

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
PART THE FOURTH

The two clashed, furious, unyielding,
The gold and emerald intertwined

I was wearing a green shirt and black pants and coat.

Quote
In a furious embrace of power, coursing
Through the very walls of the room,

And reflecting off them!  Good old sound waves.

Quote
Flashing white and sable.

A thrust, ripping, a sizzling blast
That tore apart the ground beneath
Their feet;

This is just pure poetic license.

Quote
               a crushing impact
As his burdens at last fell away from him,
Lay silent upon the ground.

Finally got to put my blasted bags down.

Quote
His foe speared him with foul curses,
Battered and crushed him with naught
But words, until it seemed that he must fall.

We tend to make fun of each other, disparage our relative parental units and mental capacities, etc.

Quote
Yet he stood, under the blazing scar, under
The harshest torrent of destruction.

I rather liked that turn of the phrase.

Quote
He called forth his own strength,
Summoned from the blackest depths of his being
All the rage, the unreasoning calling,
The torment of paralysis bursting
In a spiral of splinters and despair.

Yeah, I wasn't in the greatest of moods.

Quote
Around the hateful foe it coiled,
Wretched, it cast the fullness of his pride
Upon the divided floor, where it lay
Separate from him, torn apart from its maker,
Desolate and destroyed.

I recall getting the last one-up in on this one.

Quote
Victorious he thought himself,
Standing upon the heights, in the halls,
Treading upon his foe, humbled before him.
Yet premature was his triumph; his celebration
Would not last through the night.

oh noes

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

trancehime

  • 不聖女
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  • 2017年~ 茨心R (希望)
    • himegimi
you should do some more commentary on your work it's pretty humorous imo :)

元素召唤 || pad & msl news translator robit
twitter xx motk resident whale

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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PART THE LAST

Time to finish this up.

Quote
He stood in triumph, bathed in the flow,
The sublime rush of victory, at the last.

...I cannot remember what I was shooting for with this.  It was something specific, but I can't remember what.  Bah.

Quote
He had traversed from the sea to the sky,
From stone chasms to majestic towers,
At the end, he was master.

Master!  Master!

Quote
Yet, the end it was not; the shadows
Clustered around him as he reached
For the key, encased in darkness,

The key, in fact, was the power button on my computer.  Which has a black case.

Wheeeeeeee!

Quote
That would free him at last from his exile,
Return him to the world.

Or at least to the internet.  That's like the world.  Right?

Quote
At the last, this ultimate contact, he fell,
Driven to exhaustion, beyond the realms of man.

I was really tired.

Quote
A husk of that greatness, he was pulled down
Once more by the embrace of iron,
Of the very walls themselves.

So I took the elevator again.

Quote
From his lofty perch he was cast down,
And down, to the nethermost depths of the halls.

I took the elevator down to the basement.

Quote
His thirst he could bear no longer, and he fell
To the end, below the sainted streets,
Below the arc of man and sky.

To go get a drink from the machine there.

Quote
The tale is told, the legend completed,
Before the glimmering light of winter's coming.

...Or CPMC's winter skin.

Quote
Hear, you who are told, the tale of one great,
Who passed above and below, rose to great heights,
And entered the mothering earth.

Let all who hear know of the Shim,
Let them hear and understand of his tale.
Let the lessons from here not be lost, let the
Days of man be as this tale itself!  Let thy life
Be one of fury and light!

The final recant and lesson once more:
Rage gets you places.







The epic is done, the meaning revealed
To man, to the fools that frequent this place.
Now the lines stand still once more,
Ready to accept the hammer and sword
And feather of those to come.

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Matsuri

ilu shim

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Once upon a CPMC, while I waited, wondering when she'd
Ping me, ring me up and we would speak of music more,
While I waited like a patsy, suddenly I said to that "See,
I should consult with Matsy while I keep my time in store,
Yes, I should ask that Matsy what on earth he's waiting for,
                                                                 In Indiana evermore."





yeah I got nothing

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Yes, I should ask that Matsy what on earth he's waiting for,
                                                                 In Indiana evermore."
I laughed aloud, oh god. That was mean. But it was delicious.

Matsuri

I laughed aloud, oh god. That was mean. But it was delicious.

Please kidnap me and take me to your mountain fortress.

Once I'm out of here, Arashi can wipe Indiana off the map. :3

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
  • *
    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Thus I opened up Chatzilla, connecting to the group I will; a
Snack that tasted of vanilla next to me on the floor,
I picked up and ate a cookie - at this chat I was a rookie -
As I sat there, playing hooky from the class that was next door,
I entered the commands that were just internet lore
                                                             Only this and nothing more.

Yet I sat there, watching, waiting, for the bond it was creating,
But the bar just sat there baiting my annoyance more and more,
Growled I "Okay, come on, man!"  Eventually the bar moved on and
I connected as I had planned only minutes just before,
As I saw the welcome message scroll by - it was a bore,
                                                              Waiting here forevermore.



yeah I dunno

next time: will matsy be there??

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
  • *
    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #48 on: November 16, 2010, 10:09:36 PM »
Found something I wrote a couple years back, but it's still good.

Quote
To My Roommate, At 3 AM, The Night Before A Biology Midterm

Whose test this is, I think I know
It has a red D on it though
He would not want it lying here
For all to see who come and go.

The college man would think it queer
To score as poorly as this peer
Between the Fs and wond'rous As
The hardest test to take this year.

He contemplates this passing phase
Of his unflagging cramming craze
The only other thought's the creep
Of deadline which upon him weighs.

This D writ here would make me weep
But I have study time to keep
And piles to read before I sleep
And piles to read before I sleep.

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #49 on: November 19, 2010, 03:58:48 AM »
At first, I thought this was some kind of Drunbk award thingr, but then I decided to wander through here after I noticed it had The Raven included...

Shim, why isn't this in PSL? There aren't any rules against meta-works, and though the story written between the lines is but a subtle, simple journey, the manner with which you portray it is most infectious, and most effective.

Seriously. We should copy this over.

Jana

  • mrgrgr
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Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #50 on: November 19, 2010, 04:16:24 AM »
We can always move the thread over. theshim can do it himself if he thinks that it belongs there~

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #51 on: November 19, 2010, 04:51:02 AM »
Yessssss. We must urrrrrrrrrrrrrrge Shim to submit this to PSL.


Doooooo iiiiiiiiit

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
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    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #52 on: November 19, 2010, 05:37:40 AM »
Ah, distinctly I remember; it was in that dark November
When each and every member clamored more and more -
Eagerly I sought the weekend, when at last I stopped to pretend
That anything but a bleak end awaited me beyond the door;
When I collapsed in my room and lay staring at the door
                                                               For my life, a metaphor.



This should have been the second stanza. :/

Maybe I'll move it at some point.  Definitely before the next wipe (unless it gets LS'd hurr hurr hurr).

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #53 on: November 19, 2010, 06:04:35 AM »
This is literature. I will fight anyone who tries to dig up reasons why its not.

Including shim.

Infy♫

  • Demonic★Moe
  • *
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #54 on: November 20, 2010, 08:54:21 PM »
dude. that was incredible.
at first i was hoping there was some form of metrum though XD


theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
  • *
    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #55 on: November 24, 2010, 06:44:32 AM »
"At last!" I cried "I've reached the haven of my fellows, brave and craven,
Unexperienced and maven alike this place has in store."
Quickly then I scanned the users, sorting cool dudes from the losers,
Ignoring all who were just cruisers, seeking only one name for;
'Twas the various names of Matsy I searched quite quickly for,
                                                                        but found them - nevermore.

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
  • *
    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #56 on: December 07, 2010, 02:39:38 AM »
Suddenly notifications buzzed me with some irritations
Showing some communications when I was on no more.
I scrolled the log the bot displayed, my temper swiftly coming frayed,
Feeling unfairly betrayed by his absence from the floor,
Matsy's seeming absence from the forum's chatting floor,
                                                                             Dismayed me ever more.

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

Matsuri

Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #57 on: December 07, 2010, 06:32:56 PM »
Seeming absence. :ohdear:

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
  • *
    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #58 on: December 23, 2010, 03:11:42 AM »
But then I saw the message sent the day before, when off I went
To class, to sleep, to vent at all the people I adore,
It was sent by that Matsuri, attempting to assuage my fury,
Reassuring me the jury of my peers had not forbore,
That the sentence that they passed had been the one discussed before,
                                                                         Banning me forevermore.

 :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear:

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson

theshirn

  • THE LAWS OF THE FIESTA MEAN NOTHING
  • *
    • Wisdom is Not a Dump Stat
Re: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SHIM: AN EPIC IN FIVE PARTS (now with The Raven!)
« Reply #59 on: February 27, 2011, 08:10:17 AM »
thought I'd forgotten, hadn't you, Matsy

"BANNED?!" I shrieked, beyond all reason.  "That's it man, it's open season
I'll be avenged for your treason; you will grovel on the floor!"
Frenzied, I destroyed the drawer that had supported my keyboard
Slamming from where 'twas moored to lie wrecked upon said floor
"That will soon be you!" I pointed downwards and I swore
                                                                        But alas, I could type no more.

The light had faded upon the wreckage, but then I saw the final message:
"Just kidding!" The vestige of my sanity laughed even more -
As I stood, comprehending the cost of being condescending
And smashing, breaking, bending my room's sparse furniture
"Nonetheless, I'll kill that Matsy!!" And I watched and waited for
                                                                             The chance to end him - evermore!

apparently this ends with me being a stalker/serial killer out to get Matsy forever

this is not what I had planned

I need a new project, what should I poetrize?

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson