Well, it is time. It is time to say good bye to my manliness, and witness a fragment of my childhood I'd thought long since forgotten. Something I'd discarded to my youthful memories never to be seen again.
I am about to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
I have heard stories about this. That despite the fact it's, well, My Little freaking Pony, it's actually a half-decent cartoon. Well-written, and not saccharine-sweet like its predecessors.
I am just queer enough to give this a try without being violently ill. I'm still ready for this to be a huge troll, but whatever.
Let's go.>Once upon a time...
Well, good to see we're starting nice and generic, I guess.[/sarcasm]
>The magical land of Equestria
I'm not going to lie, this made me smirk a little. I like wordplay, a lot.
And...wow, this plot is actually kind of mature. For a kids' show, at least. It's not SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS like I was expecting. I...sorta like it.
Protag looks too much like Stocking. GAINAX YOU HAVE RUINED MY LITTLE PONY FOR ME YOU MONSTERS ;_;
Aaaand here comes the intro. I'm sorry, in spite of everything that's been good up until now, the intro makes me feel like someone is pushing a metric ton of sugar down my throat while smiling maniacally-
wait, what? What is this?!
Still kinda girly, but not the painful sort of girly I used to be made to look through. Kinda generic, but it's better than being 'uuuugh' so I will let it away.
The protagonist is called Twilight. This is begging for exploitation.
And wow, if this is a little-kids show I don't get why people are acting like 12-year-olds. Animation is also surprisingly good.
Unicorn magic always struck me as slightly broken, in all fairness. I don't remember - has there ever been a pegasus/unicorn combo-wait the pony in the legend has it HOLY CRAP THIS SHOW IS READING MY MIND
So far, Twilight seems like a bit of a jerk, but that's probably so she can be FRIENDIFIED somewhere down the line. Nice to see they actually have a character who isn't cuddly-happy that isn't an obvious villain.
Spike ;_;
More wordplay jokes. I admit I liked Wind Whistler the most mainly because she had the most entertaining vocabulary, and Twilight seems to be picking up the role of The One Who's A Little Too Smart.
"I'm sure the princess will trust m-wait what"
Twilight just got fucking OWNED.
OPERATION STOP BEING A SHUT-IN, COMMENCE
>Twilight stays in a library
Uh...Sakana? Check under the floorboards. We may have a case of ponies.
I'd be tempted to call out Twilight as being wrong, and Night Mare Moon is actually never going to come back. Just for the sake of being a fresh twist.
"The fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends!"
Welp, you went and jinxed it.
Wait, male ponies? Who can't speak. Iiiiiiii'm not getting it.
OH GOD NO SHE SAID HELLO THAT IS THE WORST WORD IN THE PONY LANGUAGE I AM OUT OF HERE
Twilight how can you suck so bad at friendship
What's this? I heard the sound of SOUTHERN STATE STEREOTYPE! DOWN-TO-EARTH, FARM-RUNNING GIRL WHO DOESN'T CARE FOR ALL THEM FANCY BOOK THANGS, HERE WE GO!
Bitch kicks a tree for free apples. That's hardcore.
wait how do pony handshakes even WORK
THEY DON'T HAVE ANY GODDAMN FINGERS
oh wait it's two hooves holding one.
That...actually works. Damn.
APPLEJACK CLEAN THAT TRIANGLE DO YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HEALTH AND SAFETY
YOU COULD GIVE SOME POOR EARTH PONY FOOD POISONING.
>Bombardment of apple puns
I am smiling, I will not lie.
Am I hearing things or are her legs creaking?
Twilight succumbs to the guilt-trip attack! The true secret weapon of any pony.
How do you control the we-pegasus DASHING INTO CLOUDS
THAT IS JUST VIABLE ENOUGH TO BE BELIEVABLE.
Already this pegasus' laugh is frustrating me.
Why am I laughing at this scene why am I finding it funny whyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Twilight showing hints of being a manipulative jerk by tricking Rainbow into doing her job. I like it!
Oh damn Spike has a crush. On...fashion stylist pony, who is just enough of a stereotype to be funny.
This scene with style-pony (name not sure of) pulling at the corset (??) is...awkward.
The way Twilight flinches the moment ANYONE says 'friend' is kinda entertaining along with the :< chord in the background.
'Focus, Casanova.'
OK you would NEVER hear that line in the old show. It's...wow. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
BIRD CHOIR GO
oh damn we have found the moe pony, haven't we.
Good to see Twilight is as freaked out by her...what sound is that? Whining? Squealing? As I am.
Dude Spike is getting all the chicks. That guy is all over this shit.
"AND THAT'S THE STORY OF MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE"
Told in the space of a few hours? You're either really young or your life is really dull.
Twilight's eyes bouncing around her head to give emphasis to 'CRAAAAAZY PONIES' is too funny.
BITCH YOU GOT SURPRISE PARTY'D
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO HAPPY WITH YOU GIVEN YOU JUST CALLED THEM CRAZY
oh god being social
why can't i just go save the world insteFRIENDSHIIIIIIP
Kogasa in pony form, come forth.
Twilight, unable to bear the atmosphere, pours herself a gratuitous helping of
alcohol hot sauce. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DRINK THAT
Lesson of this story: Pinkie has no goddamn tastebuds. That or she is IMMUNE TO PAIN.
Ponies listen to SRS HARDCORE TECHNO? I don't get it.
AND THEY'RE UP UNTIL FOUR IN THE MORNING HOLY SHIT THESE PEOPLE NEED SOME GODDAMN RESPONSIBILITY
Pin the Tail on the Pony? Why would ponies play that?
Adult ponies? That is also strange.
FUCK WE MISPLACED THE PRINCESS I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS
MAYOR HAVE YOU CHECKED YOUR POCKETS
OK Pinkie is kind of hilarious.
And HOLY SHIT IT'S NIGHT MARE MOON WE'RE ALL FUCKED
Twilight looks worried but you can tell she's thinking 'BITCH I TOTALLY CALLED THIS'.
THIS DAY WILL BE YOUR LAST
and by that i mean it's gonna be night forever not that i'm gonna kill you or anything because that's just fucking mean
...And end.
...I don't know how to feel. I...actually liked it. It's My Little Pony which means by definition it should be a huggy-fluffy pile of saccharine-sweet goodness, but...it wasn't. The writing was perky and cheery without being overly done, the animation is actually pretty great, the characters distinct enough to be interesting [compare with the old show where it was a new pony every episode and OH MAN CHARACTER OVERLAP ALL OVER THE PLACE] and I actually found myself laughing more than once.
So, uh...yeah. Might just keep up with this if I find the time. Now if you don't mind, I'm off to hand in my dick because I apparently don't have a need for it any more. -_-
