Author Topic: The Pure White Lotus  (Read 2927 times)

Aba Matindesu!

  • keep it gwiyoming
  • DASEU RAESISSEU
The Pure White Lotus
« on: January 19, 2011, 12:02:17 PM »
Before I begin, I'd like to let you all know that school has sapped my creativity entirely and this will be by all means crap.

This was my idea posted a while back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1: Yore of the Temple

I was nervous when we first started our mission for the Buddha. Observing strict rituals, preaching to the people of our nation, and unexpectedly difficult degrees of meditation... it seemed that the odds were insurmountable.

But Myouren-kun pulled through. The Namusan were on our side, and we were blessed with much success.

Myouren...


I wake up, rub my eyes free of morning glory, and peek outside through a window. The sky is of a stunning dark azure hue in these early hours of the morn. A cool breeze makes my brown hair flutter, and I hear the rustle of withered leaves in the courtyard.

"Leaves to be swept away," I thought to myself as I snap back into reality and remember my daily chores.

Walking through the hallways, I take in various sacred symbols and bees imagery. Of particular note is a small whitish lotus, growing out of a tray of mud. I can't help but smile; life should be this beautiful. To attain enlightenment is akin to a beautiful lotus rising out of what seems to be lowly dirt. My goal is to spread this message all over the world, but we started here, in Japan, for a reason.

I eventually stop in front of the wood storage, taking in the sweet air and the remaining stars. I listen to the sounds of nature as I automatically pick up four blocks of dry wood and a pail of water from the nearby well. I hear the sweet chirps of various songbirds...

...and I'm caught off guard by a swan's sorrowful song. It's from a lake a ways off, but it certainly stands out. Do swans not sing before they die? I pay it little more mind, but I silently mourn for it nevertheless.

After I finish cooking the porridge, I head over to Myouren's room.

When I passed by it earlier this morning, I could hear him meditating, as he does on most mornings, with a gentle yet deep hum. But now it was silent. I rap on the wooden door, hoping for a reply. No response.

I wait for a beat or two. I reach for the wood--

And stop as I hear singing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, I hope this was a decent first chapter. Chapter 2 is WIP as of now, I just need to put some finishing touches. Comment on my writing and tell me what's wrong with it, please and thank you!


teets mi hao 2 2hu teets mi teets mi hao 2 2hu

Aba Matindesu!

  • keep it gwiyoming
  • DASEU RAESISSEU
Re: The Pure White Lotus
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2011, 02:18:38 PM »
Guess I'll just treat the first one like a pilot chapter, since I wrote a much longer one this time.

==========================================================================
Chapter 2: Farewells

Behind me, Myouren hums a tune. He smiles at me, but the grief in his eyes declare that he is anything but happy. I reach over to wipe away a tear, but he catches my hand and returns it to my side. Words begin to form themselves in his song.

"Byakuren..."

"Myouren?" I ask, alarmed. What is he doing?

But his song would not be interrupted. "Weep thee not for me..."

Tears begin to well up in my own eyes. I drop the crockery and try to shake him, frantically. "Myouren!"

"O, Namusan, care for her as she cares for me."

His song stops there. He looks me in the eye this time. But his demeanor has changed; from the soul-crushing sorrow they once beheld, his eyes gleamed in his serenity, as though all his worldly burdens have disappeared. And indeed they have; his body radiates a soft, golden light. Then I notice a large lump where his lymph nodes are. I never noticed those before. What if...

"My sister, weep not for me, for I have attained enlightenment. I am one with Buddha and his followers, and the almagest of this world and the next, that of the minds of the cosmos, shall be revealed to me..."

"There are lumps on your neck! Didn't you go see a doctor?!"

Myouren shrugs. "It is futile. Besides, I should be the one to weep for you. I will miss you so, and as much as I want to talk to you again, I cannot be attached to anything worldly, even you..."

The glow, now blindingly bright, completely envelops him. Before I close my eyes, I can see him muttering something, but I can't hear his words at all. Just silence. The light soon dissipates, and all that is left of him is his lifeless body.

"O, the world of dharma is full of light." Myouren's disembodied voice resonates through the entire temple grounds as his spirit departed this unholy plane. I know I should be happy for him, but something occurs to me that wrecks my rationality completely.

"I'm... all alone."

Alone, in the temple. I shouldn't have any real trouble running it, even with dear little Myouren gone. But if I had to die soon, I wanted to die with someone there for me, to care for me, to know that he or she has made one more person truly ecstatic, as I have with Myouren at the time of his passing.

I sank to the floor, cradling Myouren's corpse in my arms. I wept there for what felt like a few minutes, but when I brought him outside, the sun was bright and in the middle of the sky.

"What's wong, Miss Byakuwen?" a tiny voice floated up from under me.

It was a little boy, Keita by name. "What's wong wiff Myouwen?" I can certainly understand his worries; whenever he goes shopping, he spends a bit of his time playing a game or two with the village children and hand out a few candies when our budget can afford it. I force myself to smile, but my puffy eyes give it all away.

"Keita, Myouren has... found a better world to live in."

"Why is his body stiw hewe?"

"Because in that world, he also gets a new body, and he has to leave his own here." I'm literally struggling to keep my ever-faltering smile up, and I realize that I tried to stifle my tears in vain as a single tear rolls down my left cheek and into the dry stones of the courtyard.

Keita seems to see through my "brighter view of things" act (well, no duh), as he casts his gaze downward and gives a hushed "Oh."

A warm breeze blows his tousled hair about, and as I look at Keita and back at Myouren, I notice that they look stunningly alike; typical boyish haircut, both a shade or two from sienna, and such clear, innocent eyes.

My thoughts are interrupted as a man runs into the courtyard. It is Keita's father, still dressed in his smock, and covered in paper pulp. Keita's mother soon follows, an unsightly blob of ink defiling her otherwise pristine sky blue silken kimono. She's pretty fast for a poet on geta sandals, as she soon overtakes her spouse at the sight of her child.

Reaching over to embrace her son, she cries out, "Keita, don't run off on us like that!"

"But mommy, I saw--" He saw? What did he see?

"No buts, Keita!" said the stern father. "Even if--"

Suddenly, both husband and wife glanced upward at the same time. "Oh my. Our condolences, Miss Hijiri," the father consoles me, with a forlorn expression on his worn face.

As I wait for them to return with joss paper (which I graciously accept anyway, even though I know Myouren would have no need for them) to burn along with Myouren's mementos, I perform the usual funeral rites. I bring out a very dry straw coffin, and carefully lay Myouren's lifeless body to rest. Inside, I pray to the statues, but I simply could not put my mind at ease. What, exactly, did Keita see?

Soon, Keita's family returned, each carrying packs of joss paper, some to give to me, others to sell to others later. They are wearing somber clothes of monochrome hue, and each one carries a string of prayer beads. People came to the funeral, and I barely stumble through my own eulogy before I accompany the coffin to the crematorium.

Hours later, I place the ashes in a precious urn, and put the urn on a table in the corridor, near my room. The following week, I got so many donations from people mourning Myouren's death, I used some of it to spruce up Myouren's space, and most of the temple. The results were certainly rewarding, as more people came in to pray.

But the temple wasn't the same without Myouren.

I was happy that Myouren has found eternal joy and enlightenment. I was sad that I've never spent much time with him. I was angry that he had to go so soon, so suddenly. Several emotions, melded with and piled up on top of each other, forming what could be described as a skyscraper of emotion.

I'll admit, I almost lost my drive entirely. But what of my mission? What would Myouren say if I stopped? What if I ended up in Hell for turning from my cause, never to see my family in Heaven ever again?

I have to continue. For his sake.
==========================================================================

Hmm. Looking up for facts after my first draft, I'm surprised how accurate most of my details were. Then again, my grandpa had a Chinese Buddhist funeral, so...

Anyway, the next chapter should up the action and bring in more familiar characters, so hang in there! Give me some criticism too while you're at it, my writing is very, very rusty.


teets mi hao 2 2hu teets mi teets mi hao 2 2hu