Topic: Koishi's transformation, pathetically described by one who is largely ignorant  (Read 2059 times)

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  • I heard Malzaherp
  • needs a derp
  • Nickname: Andrew
So here's some fiction if you care about it:
Koishi's Transformation, Pathetically Described by One Who is Largely Ignorant (Of the majority of touhou fanfiction)

A featureless rhythm of air that pervaded all sound gripped the Palace of the Earth Spirits far below the surface. Scarcely a whisper could be heard, and the wistful current of that traversed the hollow corridors carried not even the slightest detail of noise, providing the underground environment with a living, breathing silence. Satori Komeiji, maiden of fear, master of this region and commander to her pets, was disconcerted; her capability to evaluate and accurately interpret the heartfelt thoughts of others made this feeling unfamiliar to her. As a result of this, she was terrified; a foreign emotion had invaded her thoughts, and she sensed a violent turbulence splitting the strands that tied her to her sister.

Koishi Komeiji; the eye of her heart was closed, and for as long as she could remember, all Satori’s attempts at sentimental interaction with her sister were barricaded by a solid psychological barrier that prevented the communication of emotion. An unsettling change could be detected now, however, although the two siblings were separated by inexpressible distance. An erratic current of emotion filtered into Satori’s mind, and this disconcertion was an extraterrestrial terror that surprised, confused, and overwhelmed the maiden, despite her solid mental bearings. 

“Pray, be cautious,” Satori muttered, directing that thought towards Koishi and her uncertain condition. “We are a universe apart both in mind and body, yet still you are my sister.” Concern and worry oppressed her heart as she began to search for her pets, for the purpose of company. “Oh, how I hope you have brought yourself to no harm.”

Hours earlier, Koishi stood upon the world of the surface as a foreigner to the inhabitants of Gensokyo, though her presence could not be detected. Silence here had a definition that was alternative to that which was recognized in the underworld. The spiraling gusts of wind awakening the rustle of branches intertwined with a perpetual orchestra of crickets, crows, and creatures of the night to create a mixture of sound that would have been a tempest if it had been introduced to Satori’s palace. Gensokyo residents considered this night to be a peaceful one, however, as much as it would deafen those unfamiliar with the tumult produced here through lively interaction between species.

Upon a rotting log Koishi chose to sit, in a small, circular clearing that was bordered by forest upon its periphery. The moon, an ivory sphere, shone revealing light into this world of darkness; a darkness that was reflected in the infinity of the sky above. Koishi marveled at the stars and their arrangements, ordered throughout the heavens in a tapestry of constellations, mapping the universe above in its entirety. She imagined the log upon which she sat as it would have been a hundred years earlier, proud in the prime of its life, its branches spread wide, possessed by a desire to embrace the heavens and their beauty, and somehow she was certain that, all those years earlier, the leaves of those branches would have gazed upon an arrangement that was no different to the decorative organizations of light that Koishi bore witness to today. “Curious,” she thought, “Although the surface is forever in transformation, the heavens permanently retain their appearance, as though they are separated from time.”

Her imagination led her to thoughts involving the significance of the stars and the pleasure that would undoubtedly be associated with timelessness and eternity; a consistent and incessant existence that was as consistent and incessant as the stars as they stood now. Would it be a pleasure to be immortal? It was to her knowledge that this curious and unfamiliar world to which she was an unofficial tourist housed a variety of beings who were immortal in substance and soul. Perhaps she should consult them.

The night continued in its progression, with the stars conveyed across the sky by unseen force, in preparation for the arrival of day. Although Koishi mused upon the inhibition of time, the present environment was timeless within itself, times progression distinguished only in the travel of the stars, in addition to the moon, traversing the cartographic sky until disappearing, although whether behind cloud or behind mountain it could not be said. the distance, the darkness was chased away by the faintest exhibition of light that crept from the blackened silhouette of the horizon. Moments later, the sun erupted from its confinement, unafraid to boast the radiance that shone naturally from its form. Far to the west, the final remnants of night waned and faltered, before finally disappearing as the sky, now blue, was thrust under the command of the sun.

“How beautiful.” Koishi’s mouth shaped these words, although scarcely a breath was exhaled; she could never forgive herself for interrupting this advent of dawn. Accompanying the presentation of the sun was a lustrous demonstration of colour, splayed courageously across the horizon; orange at the world’s farthest ends, flowing into yellow, with a solemn and frightened purple, afraid to advertise its existence, hiding deep beneath the more valiant displays of light, noticeable only to the meticulous observer.

Koishi’s captivation was only momentary, however. Familiarising herself with the spectacle, she tore herself away from the event, and with that action the sky itself appeared to lose a fraction of its vibrance. This diminishment was something that the girl could not have noticed, however, and rising from her seat, she proceeded towards her destination; the mountain upon which the gods of Gensokyo presided. The monumental figure of the mountain, stabbing upwards upon the horizon; grey rock interwoven with green that represented forested environments against the blue and yellow of the sky, which was a combination of colour that was never to be witnessed below ground; was imposing only to those who felt inadequate to challenge the tengu who guarded the entrance to its most sacred regions. Koishi, however, was unafraid, fear being an emotion that had no consequence with her anyway. She was confident that she would not be detected; days upon this surface, and not a single being had approached her.

Alone she travelled, traversing the hills, and through the woodland that caressed the mountain’s edge. She had no companion, although it was not a disturbance. If she recognized that she was lonely, she did not despair of it, nor did she concern for it. All her entertainment came to her in the form of thought; she needed only the environment, alive with its wonders and surprises, to assure her pleasure in her travels. Rivers, waterfalls, and further she travelled, ascending to the steepest areas of rock. Further and further, with the day growing hot, and all evidence of cloud disappearing altogether.

At last, Koishi reached her destination; the shrine that was displaced in proximity to the mountain’s peak. Immortality; the thought of it pressed at her mind. No, she did not desire it, but she was engulfed by an insatiable curiosity to merely understand what feelings were to be associated with the condition. Feelings; what feeling did she know? Throughout her journey she had not felt the slightest ounce of abandon; not the scarcest notion of misery. If any of these things had come to her notice, then evidently she did not care. Her very expression could have been interpreted as being one of pleasure and freedom; truly, she was enjoying this solitary excursion amongst nature; this expedition, although lonesome, had entertained her to an immense degree, and it showed now in the excitement that shone in her eyes.

And upon this sacred ground that the girl Koishi now tread stood a shrine maiden, dressed in red, her gohei held close to her chest. Her appearance and stature struck recognition into Koishi’s eyes; Satori, Orin and Utsuho each spoke of a girl of her nature; a shrine maiden whose visitations upon the underworld had culminated in a variety of heated battles that resulted in the shrine maiden’s victory. The subject of immortality was now entirely forgotten as a new variety of curiosity saturated the conscience of Koishi. She had no other thought than to desire greater knowledge of this maiden’s experiences, the entirety of her imagination consumed by attempts to picture just how interesting an acquaintance with this shrine maiden might be.

The temptation to allow these urges to flourish was irresistible, and it soon became impossible for Koishi to suppress her appetite for a connection. Approaching Reimu Hakurei, the eye upon her heart shifted ever so slightly, although this shifting motion was of insurmountable significance. Her desire provided her with an energy, an ambition, a diabolical power that was insuperable to most others that she had come to know. As the shrine maiden turned to witness the sight of Koishi; a girl whose appearance was hopelessly spoiled as a result of recent travel; Koishi destroyed her grasp upon self-containment. Fingering deep into the essences of the her subconscious, she stumbled upon a terrifying desire that immediately devoured her entire being. Her mind shifting tremendously from one condition to another, she spread her hands forth, and erupting from within came an eternity of passion, flowing from a reservoir of desire that she had never known to exist.

Deep underground, the Palace of the Earth Spirits remained unalterably gripped by the silence that defined its existence. The wide and empty hallways that gave capacity to its interior were lit gently by the light of flames, whose origins were likely to be the burning hells that were deeper still, in the very bowels of the Earth. Satori, having discovered her pet Orin, lay stroking the cat, who was curled desirably upon the maiden’s lap. Orin’s concern for her master was genuine, but primarily hypothetical; as a species that was entirely different to that of Satori, she could not possibly be familiar with the feelings that tyrannized Satori’s turbulent thoughts. Luxuriating in the warm and cherishable haven of this sanctuary, she provided all the comfort she could to a girl whose heart was under siege as a result of a transformation that had been felt in her sister.

« Last Edit: March 18, 2011, 08:04:36 am by andrewv42 »
I eat squirrels.

capt. h

  • Only sane townie
I don't quite understand.

First, a lot of the text has difficult language, no one word is hard to understand, but as a whole it's difficult to read quickly since the words are large and unusual. Second, I don't quite understand how this explains Koishi's transformation. It gets very difficult to read towards the end, and you mention a "terrifying desire that immediately devoured her entire being," and I'm not sure what that desire is.

The subject matter, which I think is about how Koishi started socializing again, is the opposite of what I was expecting in a Koishi transformation story (I was expecting a story about how Koishi closed her third eye).

Although I should mention that Kaguya, Erin, and Mokou are the characters that know the most about immortality. Kanako and Suwako (the gods) are very mortal, and moved to Gensokyo because they were starving to death from lack of faith.


  • I heard Malzaherp
  • needs a derp
  • Nickname: Andrew
First, a lot of the text has difficult language, no one word is hard to understand, but as a whole it's difficult to read quickly since the words are large and unusual. Second, I don't quite understand how this explains Koishi's transformation. It gets very difficult to read towards the end, and you mention a "terrifying desire that immediately devoured her entire being," and I'm not sure what that desire is.

I'm afraid that's just my style; the types of books that I read prevents me from writing in simpler language  :ohdear:

Desire is desire; it is the reader's choice as to how he or she might choose to interpret the nature of it. It's boring to have to explain things, and it has the tendency to be tiring for an audience, so I avoid it.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2010, 08:21:26 pm by andrewv42 »
I eat squirrels.

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batallón Lincoln
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  • Nickname: Sakura Rurouni
It's not that hard to read, not at all.

I would comment on your style, but it's kind of hard (and unfair to the writer) to talk about that after only one update. So, I look forward to more. :3


  • I heard Malzaherp
  • needs a derp
  • Nickname: Andrew
So, I look forward to more. :3


Unlikely to be canon to touhou at all. I say unlikely with a considerable involvement of sarcasm; I know this isn't what many people would give countenance to, but oh well  :/

Also, separated the paragraphs more distinctly, this time. The internet has an incapacity when challenged with the accommodation of classical writing technique.

“Dear mistress, your child is insane.”
Mounting the jagged rocks that protruded from the peaks of the mountain, Sakuya climbed, her dress brown with dirt, suggestive of her exertions through rough terrain. Her hair had been spliced, knotted, and thrown behind her head with a casual disregard. Her skin was a patchwork of bruises, cuts and scathes; not a single purity was present on what had previously been recognized as a seamless ivory surface that bore a stunning complexion of tone. A sash tied loosely around her waist held an arrangement of knives, the edges of which were frighteningly sharp, being the only true exhibition of cleanliness present throughout her appearance. 

    “She has devoted herself to the search for an item which does not exist. The very substance of emotion has been obliterated from her mind. Towards you, dear mistress, she would have no feeling. You are as hollow as a tree; as inexistent as the rock upon which she ascends without the least apprehension. Her diminishes to capacitate the introduction of new interpretations that are the subject of her thoughts; new perceptions of the surrounding world that she inhabits. It is unlikely that she bears even the slightest recollection of you.” 

    Drawing a spyglass from the coat, and, to observe the view of the landscape from her present enormous height, Sakuya raised it to her – immense blue eyes that vanished the breath from those whose curiosity compelled them to gaze directly into their imperceptible depths. The severity of her gaze bore no resemblance to the cherishable stare that had characterized her in her youth; a lively contrast to the silver threads of hair that tumbled from her head where her inconsistence, uncharacteristic of her person, had resulted in such an unscrupulous arrangement.

    “But perhaps we will see.”

    Through Sakuya’s looking glass could be witnessed a valley of rock, cut deep into the forest below and traversed, through its centre, by the trajectory of a narrow, winding river, widening as it extended towards the horizon, and then further, beyond the limitations of sight. The forest itself was omnipresent; a featureless disc of green that exploited every accommodating exposure of ground, ending only at the eye’s furthest glance, where it embraced the sky; a sky that carried upwards, a light blue at first, growing deeper and finer until, directly above, only a purple remained, unblemished by the slightest presence of cloud. The landscape was under the command of a sun that shone which had no notion of apprehension, freely drowning the present world in scorching coruscations of light.

    “Tell me, nurse,” Remilia spoke at last, her tongue dry with weakness, “Where does she go?” For a moment the nurse appeared to hesitate, as though considering the adaptability of her audience’s mind, and how it could accommodate the approaching information. In truth, the girl’s objective could not be understood; not by an individual of such proportions, whose mind had not submersed itself in the embrace of a willing insanity. Those of the mentally deranged perceived an entirely different world altogether, their memory and perceptions working in a chaotic collaboration that produced the most bewildering of psychological procedures. 

    “Dear mistress, she scales the mountain to reach the shrine that is emplaced upon its top. It is to Moriya shrine that she travels, and it is there that she will wait.”

    Sakuya suddenly stopped, drawing a knife from her sash. She poised the blade between her fingers in preparation for what she predicted to be an attack. A tengu appeared, flashing into sight as though from nowhere, and immediately she threw herself out of the direction of a projectile attack. A severe, piercing noise calculated to overwhelm the rhythm of thought was released, although its design was to penetrate the minds of intruders of a typical composition; this girl, whose thoughts were conducted entirely within her subconscious, was unhindered by the defiling screech that was but a hairsbreadth away from shattering the surface of the stone upon which she was positioned. 

    “Tell me… what is it… what is it that she will wait for?” Remilia asked.

    Three knives, skillfully drawn, glided towards the opponent, but the tengu vanished and reappeared behind Sakuya, floating effortlessly through the support of her wings. Sakuya cleansed herself of all turbulent thought, and reaching deep within her spirit, deeper still to the foundation of the energy that provided humans with their magic, she released an energy that froze the progression of time. Around her, all alternative movement ceased; it was as though the world was encased in ice, the trees themselves disturbingly motionless.

    Sakuya took her time in placing her knives, all in a position above the unmoving tengu. She conducted her approach with a mathematical efficiency, examining the pattern of her knives with a closely discerning eye. Each knife was directed to fall in an arrangement that guaranteed no route of escape. Releasing the constriction that she held upon time, the commotion of the world recommenced. For a moment, the tengu exhibited an appearance of surprise, but her expression scarcely lasted for a moment before she was thrust downwards by the propelling force of the knives that pierced her through and through.

    Not a thought intruded upon Sakuya’s mind throughout the procedure. Her muscles had been compelled into action through customary knowledge; her arms had automatically calculated the movements necessary without encountered hesitance; an experience undertaken whenever she was threatened by harm. She understood the purpose behind her travel and was not prepared to allow for an assessment of condition to interrupt the flow of her journey. Further she climbed, confident that her desired route relieved her of the mountain’s most insuperable defences, although, in truth, the vertiginous drop that fell below, to which the hopeless tengu had fallen victim was a dangerous mechanism of defence within itself. Further she climbed, towards her objective, driven, within, by the certainty that a successful discovery would await.

    “Within the shrine, dear mistress, she will await the summer rains.” The nurse dowsed the flame of the candle and departed the room. Night was falling, which gave her confidence that the mistress would recover her spirits directly. “Indeed, atop the mountain, it is the magic of the rain that she seeks.”
I eat squirrels.

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