Topic: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!  (Read 83107 times)

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #30 on: October 16, 2010, 09:31:13 pm »
The Angels are Kaiju. Godzilla, Mothra, etc. Okuu fights them from the cockpit of a mechanized Godzilla/Bahamut.

Dan-Heron

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #31 on: October 16, 2010, 10:19:59 pm »
well, as I said, the technological girls would like to join, if only to show their stuff is just as good as magic and spiritualism.

I can easily see Rika and Asakura being brought in with the hopes of beating down that miko, with Yukari not bothering to specify which miko is going to be the leader. Maybe convince Reimu later so Rika and Asakura don't abandon the project?

Hmm, I supposed Sanae's first allies would be either Tengu or Nitori. You know, not having to go that far away to get her teammates.

in the role of the big guy, you could have Mokou, Okuu or one of the Oni?
Mokou as a glass tank that respawns right away? ... then again, maybe Cirno with Nekokayou's Hulk styled speech? Cirno Smash Puny "whatever"

in the smart guy role, obvious choices would be Patchy or Nitori. Obviously, it's not going to be them... Marisa! She's book smart enough

Lancer, hmm, Satori? I mean, there are many sarcastic jerks there, but I find Satori's just so nice. I always imagine her delivering in perfect deadpan.

The Chick, Rinnosuke. Akyuu is so totally in the dark side.
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Esifex

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #32 on: October 17, 2010, 08:41:39 am »
So. Even though we had a spy-themed topic for the WWC a challenge or two back, I've had an idea since then but never put enough thought into it to actually follow up on it and put it to writing.

Sakuya would be the primary character, the titular spy/secret agent, and the plot would be centered around Remilia's Readings of Fate - dossiers that she's run up on all the major players in Gensokyo with her ability - have been stolen from the Voile. Of course, Marisa would be suspected at first, but she'd be quickly investigated because 1) it wasn't her, so she wasn't expecting to be investigated and 2) thusly prepared to defend against an interrogation.

In the course of the story, without giving away too many of the details, Sakuya will have ended up infiltrating a compound. Unfortunately, said compound doesn't actually have enough people attributed to it to have their own casted-security force, so I was gonna draw on other people to make up for it.

The thing that's been holding me back the most, aside from this hodgepodge collection of characters making it look like Super Smash Brothers Gensokyo, is how well I could fit music into it.

Would a musically-timed story be a worthwhile endeavour? That is to say, if I were to supply a link to a song for a scene, would it be worth it considering not everyone reads at the same speed? I have a fair idea of how to pull this off as well as I can - either, short songs, or spaced out far enough that the first one is guaranteed to be ended before the next one starts, or both - but don't really know how well it'll be received. Any recommendations?

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #33 on: October 17, 2010, 01:28:17 pm »
I think it's a fine idea to include music links for different parts of the story, in that readers can choose to skip them if they want. I say that because I personally can't read things and listen to music at the same time.

Having said that, yeah, I think it might add an atmosphere to the piece. Songs tend to invoke emotions in people, so if what you're going for is to have the emotion of that song match the mood of the story, increasing the intensity of what you want the reader to feel when reading it, it could certainly work. The only worry I'd have is how much importance you give to the music as a part of the story. Gone too far, it becomes a little gimmicky (L. Ron Hubbard released an album to be played while reading Battlefield Earth, for example), but done right, it could be a fine enough atmosphere enhancer.

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2010, 02:51:14 pm »
that would be hard to do. If you give music to be played on the side, you will have problems with people reading at different speeds; hell, when I was learning English, my reading speed was horrible.

One sure way to "fix" that, is having sort of a web animated comic, like those posted over the tube. That way you can provide enough length for the dialogs while ensure the music won't be playing longer than needed. It could be done with some basic skills in Flash
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Esifex

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #35 on: October 17, 2010, 04:49:31 pm »
Basic skills in Flash that I lack :v

I'll figure something out. I don't normally put things to writing until I've had a looooot of time to hammer out all the kinks and have a good revised copy ready to go.

theshirn

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #36 on: October 18, 2010, 04:11:53 am »
I'm going to do something unconventional, if not out-and-out frowned upon, and discuss a story idea that I had...

...that is not related to Touhou.

Please put down the torches and pitchforks.

Anyway.  The idea I have is somewhere between either a series of books or a game, it can really go either way.  Essentially, it's about a low-ranked officer of the army of a kingdom at war; the kingdom is losing this war, and badly.  Somewhere, somehow, this character forms a pact with a demon and is basically possessed.  This character then begins, with his newfound powers, to turn the fight around, winning victory after victory and pushing the invaders back.  This character rises in prestige and fame, making his way eventually to general of the army.  As this happens, though, he also has to deal with the demon - the two work in tandem more often than not, but sometimes the demon goes too far or takes control at inopportune moments.  Eventually, his very personality starts becoming corrupted, mixing towards a point where the two are largely indistinguishable anymore.

The end of book 1 or this character's story mode basically has him raising the crown onto his head and uttering the line "The king is dead, long live the king" before smiling, a slim, almost unnoticeable, and absolutely terrifying smile.

I started thinking in terms of the next book or characters stories revolving around all the people who gather together to oppose him and the cataclysmic war that results...but then I realized that this sounds almost exactly like Weis and Hickman's Sovereign Stone trilogy.  Massive sadface ensued.

However, I still have a couple ideas of where to go with this.  For one, when talking about it with a friend, we discussed what happens to the character afterwards.  The one question I had is: Is he redeemed?

The answer we came to, and one I really like: Kinda.

He realizes at one point what's happening to him.  Had he realized this immediately, he might have sought to expunge the demon totally.  By the time he realizes it, though, he's already begun changing, and so does his plan.  Instead, he searches for a way to expel the demon...but keep its powers for himself.  Eventually, I think, he will succeed, leaving behind a seriously hardened, badass character, wielding demonic might, still king of his country, but now acting entirely on his own agenda.  He could become a serious world power; hardened, cynical, a blend of everything he's experienced to that point.  (And hell yes, would he be Chaotic Neutral then.)  And he could return as a main character without having to be one of those blasted "save the world" idealists.

...thoughts?

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Esifex

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #37 on: October 18, 2010, 05:08:38 am »
He realizes at one point what's happening to him.  Had he realized this immediately, he might have sought to expunge the demon totally.  By the time he realizes it, though, he's already begun changing, and so does his plan.  Instead, he searches for a way to expel the demon...but keep its powers for himself.  Eventually, I think, he will succeed, leaving behind a seriously hardened, badass character, wielding demonic might, still king of his country, but now acting entirely on his own agenda.  He could become a serious world power; hardened, cynical, a blend of everything he's experienced to that point.  (And hell yes, would he be Chaotic Neutral then.)  And he could return as a main character without having to be one of those blasted "save the world" idealists.

...thoughts?

You have to do this, why haven't you started already

Dan-Heron

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #38 on: October 18, 2010, 06:09:40 pm »
well, there are literally thousands of self insert fics like that all over ffnet. You could try checking some of them to get ideas. The things is so horrible generic, though; in fact, I'm pretty sure I read in TvTropes an entry for an eroge with the exact same premise, down right to the redeeming and being "badass" part. Over Ffnet, I think the genre is easily found with things like Grey-insert name of character-. Most of shounen heroes usually get this treatment; Bleach and Naruto are some of the worst offenders.

It would be interesting to read if once he reaches the redeeming point, is totally badass, and everybody is Awed by him, another demons finds a loophole and takes him down in mid sentence.

One work I like of the main character royally screwing up some of the strongest demons ever is Grim Grimoire, and I like Lilleth making every other demon her bitch, because Lilleth really just need the demons for very specific things, not for power. She got power not because of any demon, she was powerful enough on her own to make actual legions of demons work for her without problems. The fact she's an incredible schemer and managed to sell her soul several times with absolutely no way for the demons to claim her, makes it all the better.

Hell -not punny-, she so utterly and completely owns the demons of the story, that the one "on her side" can't help but laugh like crazy and say he wished he had helped plan all this. She totally played her demonic ally too, more than once, and he ADORES her because of it.
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theshirn

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #39 on: October 18, 2010, 06:30:15 pm »
You have to do this, why haven't you started already
The things is so horrible generic
basically this

This is why I almost never write anymore.  The only ideas I can come up with have been done a thousand times before and I can't think of anything truly new or original.  Were I to write this, I'd focus more on the mind of the character than anything else, or maybe have all that a s a prelude and run with the character's story entirely following that point, but I get so damned frustrated at my utter lack of any originality that...bleh.

:(

EDIT: just one other note: I loathe the term "badass" on the whole, because it usually just implies a really powerful character who gets into a lot of fights, or just someone with more bravado than sense.  This is one of the few instances where I would use it, as he is making all the decisions and going through what he does with his own two hands and no BS.  It is a character who operates entirely of his own will.  Frankly, that's really damn rare these days.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2010, 08:05:40 pm by theshim »

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #40 on: October 18, 2010, 11:05:24 pm »
On the other hand, if you made this into a game, it could have multiple endings, spread across multiple arcs of the game. So, provided you hit the key points, you could have any number of variations. He quickly realizes what a bad idea dealing with the devil was and represses the crap out of it, doing the 'hermit on a mountain' shtick, all the way to exulting in the power offered and becoming a blood-crazed conquerer, possibly absorbing the devil inside to become a new amalgamation of Evil.

Better, have variations within each arc, depending on the path you took to get there. Like, if arc1 ends with you as the evil king, then you get attacked by heroes, like you said. But if arc1 ends with the guy having contained the devil and become a good king, then you get attacked by a party of villains seeking to overthrow your order and instill a new age of anarchy. Or you did something to irritate some sorceror or dragon, who burns down a village in petty vengeance. Variable stuff like that.

Esifex

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #41 on: October 19, 2010, 12:14:40 am »
Or you did something to irritate some sorceror or dragon, who burns down a village in petty vengeance. Variable stuff like that.

Well that explains a lot

Dan-Heron

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #42 on: October 21, 2010, 05:46:57 am »

This is another of my scrapped ideas for a Touhou/Naruto xover. Not gonna work with it.

What would happen if Yukari decides to dump Naruto in the former Hell. My first thought was just having Naruto getting eaten or just accidentally stepped on by an Oni or something big, but then decided to give him a chance to live while getting a look of what the Underground freaks are usually up to.

=======================================

The misplaced Human blond did his best to run away from the violence, for once not caused by him, and for once not wanting to get attention on himself because of it.

He had no idea how he had landed in the middle of a bar; said bar had been in the process of getting trashed by a typical Oni bar brawl. What he quickly realized was that these horned people were beating each other so hard the building was crashing down on everybody inside. The spat fire, lighting, huge metallic and spiked clubs, and other objects of destruction didn't care who were hit as long as the violence kept going on, something Naruto found out very quickly when one of the huge brawlers grabbed a smaller one as a club and started beating down walls.

Like in, literally beating down walls. Naruto wasn't exactly sure why other than the big one just wanted to hit something and somebody.

The kid managed to jump through a knocked down wall just in time to see the three stories building crashing upon itself, as if somebody have stepped on it.

Then it exploded.

Naruto was now officially freaked out, and things just got worst when everybody who had been in the building, burst out of the debris ready for more. People looking out of the windows stared for a moment at the fighting mob before the spectators cheered on and jumped off the windows, joining the massive brawl. When the sky literally exploded, Naruto knew it was time to make a bolt for it.

Luckily for him, the horned fighters were too interested on fighting each other to notice the little Human running for his life. If Naruto had been older, he could have compared the chaos to one of the great wars; fire on the horizon, smoke eclipsing the sun, smell of blood and burnt flesh, and screams of pain. The little boy finally managed to make it outside the strange village, looking over the destruction he had just escaped from. He felt lost, not knowing what to make from the experience, or how to accept the fact he was no longer in Konoha.

"Move." Naruto started violently to the bored sounding word. He stared up to a pair of very green eyes, that could make even Sakura's look dull.

"Wha?" he replied.

The blond girl sighed, reaching out and yanking him away. Naruto was ready to protest being manhandled like this when a loud crash shut him up; slowly, he twisted, ever so slowly, his neck to see a large piece of fiery debris landed almost exactly on the place he had been occupying. Then a boulder landed on the exact same place he had been occupying.

"Hu-he, ah… thanks!" Naruto muttered, too shaken up by the whole thing.

"Never mind," the girl said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I just need you to answer me something."

"Sure, what is it?"

"How did you manage to enter the former Hell? Especially when I removed the bridge to the surface world?"

===================================


I had thought of placing this before SA, so the Ancient City is still off limit for the rest of Gensokyo. The plot in this one would be Naruto just surviving. He would realize Oni tend to leave Parsee alone so he tags along, but that doesn't mean Parsee will be all buddy buddy with him. Only Yuugi approaches Parsee on her own, getting close to Naruto. There are a few rough moments when Naruto tries to prank the very honest Oni; they don't really appreciate dishonest people, after all.

It may change Naruto a little, deciding he doesn't like tricking and pranking people. Not only because he's pretty much as durable as a little bug in the former Hell, but I imagine making a friendly Oni like Yuugi feel disappointed on him, may be a bit hard to endure. He could probably decide to impress Oni in the way they like being impressed.

There's no super training to make Naruto stronger. There are just fights that tend to destroy the city, not every day, not every week, but maybe every two weeks. Oni usually rebuild the ancient city overnight, so there's not much problem. Yuugi likes to take Naruto to drink, because Parsee REALLY needs some me time due to exposure to Naruto. Yuugi and Parsee are not romantically together, but they do have some history together.

Yamame's and Kisume's shenanigans are to be expected. Naruto is terrified of Yamame after seeing some "natural" spider demons around the city and learning Yamame is just like them. He is very curious about where is Kisume hanging her bucket from.

Eventually some innocent comments from Naruto cause Parsee to react badly and showing him the exit from Hell, removing the bridge after he passed through. I'm thinking Naruto will be very scared of all that blue and green from the surface.

Not sure what would happen from there. Maybe Naruto trying to befriend Suika so she can help him go back to his friends, or he just trying to jump through the Bridge between Gensokyo and Hell, and Yukari deciding this is the moment to return him to Konoha before he kills himself.
so much evil it's poisonously healthy!

Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!
Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #43 on: October 22, 2010, 04:03:55 pm »
The Angels are Kaiju. Godzilla, Mothra, etc. Okuu fights them from the cockpit of a mechanized Godzilla/Bahamut.

That works surprisingly well. Thanks!
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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #44 on: October 23, 2010, 08:49:50 pm »
well, I need some help for a Touhou/Naruto idea I have been nursing for a while.

The basic setting is a younger Naruto, around 8-10 years old, gets spirited away into Gensokyo and dumped near the bamboo forest. From there Mokou finds him and takes him to the Human village.

Now, I'm not sure of how fast they should be aware of the fuzzy in Naruto's belly. Mokou could probably feel it from the beginning, or Keine could use her history powers and find it in there. I want Mokou being good with seals and charms, not only for common stuff like fireproof stuff, but also to allow her to notice there's a big seal on Naruto; she just doesn't know what it is, only that it's a very strong seal.

With Keine's case, she knows people who get to the Human Village no longer can leave, and while trying to think of a way to break the news to Naruto, she peeks into his past to get a better idea of how to deal with this. From there she could go further back into his past to realize why the people seemed to dislike him so much.

With Keine's route, she could easily find the connections between the giant face on the mountain and Minato. Not sure if I should break it to Naruto that soon or not.

Now, the thing of dealing with the fox, that should be done quicker, if to ensure there's no danger the thing getting out and killing Naruto or a few of the villagers.

Should they just exorcise the fox, or go on a route like in the Gap and the Fox, turning Naruto into a half youkai?

Any suggestions?

so much evil it's poisonously healthy!

Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!
Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #45 on: October 23, 2010, 10:00:07 pm »
Hm. If I recall right, then the fox can't get out anyway, and the most it can do is to influence him when he draws enough 'tails' worth of power. And he only uses it for the first time way later, when he's enraged beyond all reason. So... assuming that that's the case, I can easily see either of them adopting a 'leave well enough alone' stance and just don't fiddle around with the seal at all.

Dan-Heron

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #46 on: October 23, 2010, 10:37:49 pm »
Hmm, how would they go about having the demon there? Or they just see the seal is strong so they don't exterminate it?
so much evil it's poisonously healthy!

Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!
Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #47 on: October 25, 2010, 11:57:25 pm »
I've been toying around with the idea of making a fan fiction for a while, but I'm not sure which of my ideas to pursue.

I've got
1. Backstory to the SDM gang
or
 2. Cirno is an evil mastermind and is the real one behind some of the incidents.
Such as, (and I haven't totally thought this through)
She anonymously convinces Remillia to make the red mist, blocking out the moon, allowing her to get into the human village without having to face EX Keine.

Dan-Heron

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #48 on: October 26, 2010, 03:05:13 am »
well, the idea behind Cirno-nee is that Cirno is actually much smarter and just playing fool. She's also very good friends with the SDM before Sakuya joins them.

Some comics I have seen of Cirno-nee and Remilia have them calling each other just Fairy and Vampire respectively.
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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #49 on: November 05, 2010, 08:11:11 pm »
well, the idea behind Cirno-nee is that Cirno is actually much smarter and just playing fool. She's also very good friends with the SDM before Sakuya joins them.

Some comics I have seen of Cirno-nee and Remilia have them calling each other just Fairy and Vampire respectively.

Isn't Cirno-nee just Cirno after several centuries of maturity and power development?
Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #50 on: November 05, 2010, 09:40:38 pm »
By Jove, I've got it!

Here's what I'll do!

I'll write a story about the secret lives of Alice's dolls. As far as she knows, they can't think on their own and she totally controls them. But they really have their own personality and control their own actions. It'll talk about their daily lives and adventures while Alice goes out on chores and stuff. With the main character being none other than the wonderful Hourai.  :3

I'm gonna roll with this idea and see how it turns out. I'll probably post it in PSL if I do.

Dan-Heron

  • Evil Chibi-Dan -doesn't bite-
Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #51 on: November 05, 2010, 10:56:40 pm »
Isn't Cirno-nee just Cirno after several centuries of maturity and power development?

maybe centuries before the current canon. She helps Remilia take care of a young Sakuya, and Young!Alice appears every once in a while.


I'll write a story about the secret lives of Alice's dolls. As far as she knows, they can't think on their own and she totally controls them. But they really have their own personality and control their own actions. It'll talk about their daily lives and adventures while Alice goes out on chores and stuff. With the main character being none other than the wonderful Hourai.  :3

I'm gonna roll with this idea and see how it turns out. I'll probably post it in PSL if I do.

I know Morino Hon had a short doujin like that. Only it was only Hourai who was sentient enough. It would be interesting.
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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #52 on: November 07, 2010, 06:35:12 am »
Some of you may remember my posts in the past.

I'm not just doing all that for nothing. I said long ago that I was making something good.

I was inspired by the inherent crappiness of this fic:

http://lolanime.wordpress.com/2009/09/05/hftow-ch-1-the-land-behind-the-boundary/

It's got a plot, a good premise, and understood the importance of music in any story.
But I read it, and I couldn't go on. First, it gave the impression that a little kid wrote it, with so many deus ex machinae and plot loops. Second, the main character contacted every last person in Gensokyo, and I couldn't lose the feeling that it was way too out of character. Last, it failed to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Rather than sit at my desk and flame the author about how much it sucks (I did that in my troll years) I decided that I could make a better one.

Since I was doing many hobbies in my spare time, like research in strange scripts, programming, and thinking up stories in my mind, I decided to coordinate all that in a giant project.

The base of all this is suspension of disbelief. Reading crappy fanfics hardened my will to make sense of everything, so that it becomes believable. That probably caused problems.

I chose Gensokyo as a filler because it was literally just an almost empty world, which probably contributed to it's success. (The fans do the thinking for you, making it the ultimate crowdsourced story.) To use a metaphor I heard somewhere, a good fictional world is like a impenetrable opaque box (which has all the secrets), letting out only a little bit of light (the few facts we get about the world).

Everything else is a variable. People make fanfics to give their ideas about what happens inside the box. (like, where things are, how the people interact, what happens, how they look) but have only touched upon very little about anything in it.

Now those are fanfics. What I'm doing is a fanfic on steroids.

I want to provide an underlying framework upon which the entire story operates. Then, I make a story relying on that framework. To put it in words, I am recreating Gensokyo from my perspective, from my logic. I'm trying to be as close to canon as possible, but I'm taking a few liberties.

Some people were offended that I'm imposing my ideas on that world.

But that was the point. I'm filling in the blanks of the unknown box, just like any writer would do.

But, I never explained my wills and reasons properly, causing huge amounts of misunderstanding, and miscommunication.

A huge majority of this adaptation is original work. The synopsis of the story I'm making is about a group of heavy infantry, sent to a stop a coup somewhere near Asia, accidentally wandering into an illusionary world. The major focus is not on wars and battles, which in fact, I'm not sure I should show at all, but it is on the hardships that the soldiers faced before joining this unit.

The nation these soldiers come from is almost an anarchy. Huge government rollbacks, trying to raise money to cut taxes and national debt, cause a huge amount of hardship. While their budget deficit is zero, it was made at the cost of the defense of national interests (the end of Economic regulation, Food regulation, etc) and infrastructure maintenance. The roads are potholed and useless, and anything useful is controlled by corporations that make public use impossible.

Quality of life is really bad for the majority of the people, which I call the proles, (proletariat) and opportunities are restricted to a few people, the hicks. (english loanword for Hikikomori) The hicks live a privileged and opportunistic life, but never leave their tall buildings, for fear of attack from the proles. That makes them antisocial and unsuited to human contact. The proles are very social, and seem to have more fun than the hicks. However, they live a dangerous, hard, and short life.

There is not only class divisions. This nation has fallen apart into a disjoined group of states. Two sides quickly manifested, the Nationalists and the Libertarians. The Nationalists consist of states that maintained government after the feds pulled support for it. Quality of life is bad, but have been successful in pulling themselves out. The Libertarians have no written boundaries to freedom, but in practice are ruled by militias that rule like dictators. The people are brainwashed by their own will, believing whatever they say on extremely biased news channels. The militias kill political enemies in a strange way, by claiming that they were ordinary citizens murdered by evil agents of the Nationalists who "want you to be next". It causes mass panic, and is effective in creating perpetual war against a nonexistent "socialist" enemy.

That is the background of that nation. The soldiers have their own sad histories.

One guy, Mustafa Abdul Al-Rahim, lost his wife in 9/11. He joins the army getting sent to Iraq, where he saves many soldiers as a combat medic, and later as a unit commander. As time goes on, each new team assigned to him hates having a Muslim commander, and mutiny. Fearful of bad press, the Army dishonorably discharges Mustafa, not the rebelling soldiers. He comes back home to find his house burned by a lynch mob, and he is narrowly saved by police, who send him to Washington to be deported to Iraq. He made huge amounts of enemies as a U.S. soldier there, so he fears for his life again, cursing "Hard work pays off." A general passes by, notices his former commander, and decides to save Mustafa by recruiting him into an extralegal unit.

Another guy, Nicholas Sciezkak, losing his job, his family, and all his possessions, decided to jump off a bridge. He decides against it when a lost boy asks him for directions. He leads the boy back to his house, where his family give him a nice reception, a job, and hope. But, the man loses everything again when the boy and his family dies of food poisoning. He goes back to the bridge, but jumps back, remembering the boy's last words, "Never forget that you still have a future". He lands on a recruitment officer, who gives him a new opportunity by giving him a rare job as a soldier.

These are just two stripped-down examples out of the group, and each soldier's background and character is revealed.

Of course, what i'm writing is not all sad. Arriving in the illusionary world, and surviving to the village, they find a world which lives carefree and idyllic lives, in stark contrast to the soldier's bleakness. They warm up, and participate in a strange happenstance, involving other outsiders.

However, the soldiers decide that they cannot stay, and as they have a duty to go back and fix their hopeless world.

That is the story I had in mind for the entire time. That was just an emotionless generalization, so expect the real story to be much better.

I hope you understand better about what I had in mind. I should have made all this clear from the start.


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Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #53 on: November 07, 2010, 06:59:41 am »
Damn, this might not make sense to any of you now that it's been moved. I feel that this has an immutable connection to the other section, but whatever.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2010, 07:04:07 am by Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle »


The higgs boson, theorized to be the source of inertia...

theshirn

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #54 on: November 07, 2010, 07:02:04 am »
Feel free to link to the other thread, then.  Edit it into the OP?

[09:46] <theshim|work> there is nothing like working for a real estate company to make one contemplate arson
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Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #55 on: November 07, 2010, 07:03:46 am »
Shoot, by thread, I meant section of the forum.


The higgs boson, theorized to be the source of inertia...

Dead Princess Sakana

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #56 on: November 07, 2010, 07:40:46 am »
This indeed seems like it will belong here in the end, it's about fiction after all. Just link it in your other thread in TARC if you want to make the connection, or vice versa.

Gilgamesh

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #57 on: November 13, 2010, 05:53:09 am »
Really, really new to this forum here. And the fandom in general.  :3 But ah, yes... I'm mostly a story-nut with a strange vision that came to me after a roleplay... and I really need quite a bit help in understanding Touhou quite a bit more.

But first, story outline I guess?

It's a Touhou x Fate/Stay Night crossover. Main characters are Yuka Kazami, Elly, and Gilgamesh.

I was actually thinking of using Gilgamesh after he meets his end in the Unlimited Blade Works path. Instead of his essence returning to the Throne of Heroes, a freak accident causes the rest of him to be transferred to the dreamworld of Mugenkan. And sent crashing right outside the flowerfield, waking up Yuka who comes to investigate out of curiousity.

With Gilgamesh already beginning to fade, he's forced to make a contract with Yuka, who decides, 'Sure, why not? Another servant can't be a bad thing' and makes a contract, somewhat saving Gilgamesh's life.

And now comes the plot points. Gilgamesh has no idea where he is. After all, this isn't the site of the War for the Holy Grail.  Elly appears, and immediately dislikes Gilgamesh. But Yuka is a little bit interested in a being like him who came from outside Gensokyo. The 1st chapter basically becomes an infodump for the F/SN verse and the Touhou verse.

Comments? Suggestions? I definitely need a bit more info on the Touhou characters...

Iced Fairy

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #58 on: November 13, 2010, 06:14:01 am »
Hm... Couple of suggestions of your idea.

First get a very concrete idea for all your main characters.  It'll help a lot.  The best writers can get their characters to write themselves (even if it's not where the writer wanted to go!).

Second, when info dumping do your best to make it an aside whenever possible.  For example when talking about say Gilgamesh's Gate of Babalon don't just have him exposition dump things (unless you want a character to be known for exposition dumps, or it's supposed to be a school like setting).  It's better to describe the action as he does it.  Amusingly you can probably get away with more infodump (since everyone sees Touhou rules differently) but it's still good practice.

Gilgamesh

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Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
« Reply #59 on: November 13, 2010, 06:55:49 am »
Noted. But ah... what do you mean by concrete idea for my main characters? Do you mean personality traits and various things they'd likely do in the situation they're in, etc...?

Also, should I bother telling what my intended pairing for the characters in this fic?
 

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