Touhou is a wonderful series. That much is generally agreed upon by everyone here. However, my days of being totally in love with dodging stuff on Easy mode, using continues and starting with max lives have passed. I have improved as a player throughout the months to regularly playing Hard on all but UFO and SA. I have already bested all my challenges on anything below.
So as a completionist I have to move on. I have to conquer it all. But I have moved into territory that just ISN'T FUN anymore. Lunatic 1ccs, Extra grinding, it all requires PERFECTION, KNOWLEDGE, AND PATIENCE. I am hardly any of those. I play games to have fun and get away from stress, but I find that I'm much more irritable lately because I can't beat Koishi despite 60+ tries going to her, and because my Lunatic 1cc ended on stage 6 despite my best efforts, only to progressively do worse on later attempts. It's packing on MORE stress and frustration on top of what was already there, however small. I rage at Touhou more than I rage at my most annoying friends. It just has a way of pissing me off.
AND I KEEP GOING BACK, for one more round of ridiculous bullet hell bullshit and restarts only to have the entire half hour crushed at the last few spellcards, or I keep telling myself the satisfaction of beating Koishi will make the 7 restarts it takes to reach her FOR A CHANCE being all worth it. And I can't go back until it is done. It's just how I am. I've already conquered easier difficulties, so naturally I want to move up and say I've beat the whole thing.
And now here I am, somewhat pissy at absolutely nothing because I BLEW LUNATIC HOURAI ELIXER AT 00 SECONDS FIVE TIMES, or YUYUKO'S BUTTERFLY WALLS SUCK ASS AND SO DOES THE SAME FIVE STAGES BEFORE I'VE RAN THROUGH 600 TIMES, and for fuck's sake I'd like to not make my friends suffer because of it.
Is this the sign of true touhou addict? Complete masochism and obsession to improve his game, even if it means throwing out what made the series good to me? I think so, and I also think it's the perfect time to take a break, and lose all my skill after the first three weeks. And that's good, because I can go back to Easy and Normal to catch up and HAVE FUN AGAIN.
</rant>