Author Topic: SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED  (Read 4028 times)

Hope ♦ Metal

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SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED
« on: February 08, 2015, 01:10:34 PM »
((Well this is something stupidly dumb, so yeah. Don't even try taking this seriously.))

Rumia looked in front of her. She had done it. It only took her five months of brutal training that had lost her an arm and a leg at least twice, but she did it. Defeating the shrine maiden was only the beginning of her rise to power, but now she had only one thing on her mind.

She crept towards the shrine maiden cowering on the floor in a fetal position, licking her lips. Reimu looked at her with pleading eyes, but there was nothing she could do to avert her fate. When Rumia now stood in front of her, she picked her up in both of her arms and ripped her own clothes off. She stuffed Reimu into her chest-mouth and chewed thoroughly.

Suddenly, Marisa, who was standing right next to Rumia, inquired, ?I always wondered this. What does Reimu taste like.?

Rumia spat out an eyeball through her head-mouth, ?Like some kid with eyes.?

?I knew it!?, shouted Marisa who then walked towards a large box in the middle of the shrine.

She opened the box and inside it found the Yin-Yang Orbs arranged in a neat pile. Marisa took the box and poured the contents onto the floor, with a pair of tennis racquets in hand. She threw one of them to Rumia, who was now wearing Reimu's clothes. She then threw one of the orbs into the air and launched it with her racquet at Rumia.

She tried to hit it back, but the orb flew straight through her racquet, leaving a burning hole in the webbing, and out of the shrine, hitting a tree, which exploded from the impact, flying into space into the moon, killing the fuck out of it.

Somewhere in the endless void between worlds, the Hakurei God watched. It sighed in its golden, invincible, insurmountable and infinite glory and promptly exploded into an even more endless and invisible void than the one before it, sucking the inferior void into itself, creating the Ultimate Void of All Things. Because of this, the entire Hakurei Shrine was compressed into a single, infinitesimal point and stayed there for all eternities to come.

Seeing this, Marisa looked solemn. She withdrew her guitar from under her skirt and began to play. The sweet sounds of Power Metal kissed her ears. This sound only she could hear and everyone else could only imagine its gloriousity, but the world trembled, and a mountain exploded, leaving a bust of her engraved into it.

?Nice.?, remarked Rumia.

Re: SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2015, 05:16:56 AM »
I assume this is a 30 H's reference? I love that fanfic. Anyway, I'd like to see more. :) I loved the part about the bust.

[Y]oukai [J]esus

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Re: SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2015, 11:39:54 AM »
I thought something terrible had happened
damnit

<Nietz> Anyway, sex toys alone won't come up to 11k.
[18:48] <Warma> There must have been a new depth, where you've sunk as a person. Then you dug through that.

Hope ♦ Metal

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  • Donald Trump will make waifus real
Re: SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2015, 01:33:25 PM »
I assume this is a 30 H's reference? I love that fanfic. Anyway, I'd like to see more. :) I loved the part about the bust.
Indeed it is.

I thought something terrible had happened
damnit
Someone just got eaten and had what was essentially her house turned into a space-time anomaly thingy and you act like that's not terrible enough. Also the moon was destroyed. IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Anyway



Patchouli slammed her book shut. It wasn't really a book, since the pages were made of lasers and the words weren't even words, but the doomed souls of fairies screaming in unbearable confusion.

?Well that was a load of shit.?, she said as she threw it in the trash.

The book burned a hole through the thrash can, the floor of the library, the whole basement, the Earth's crust, the entirety of the mantle until it reached the core, where it was forced to accept its fate along with the rest of the books that Patchouli deemed too far beyond the grasp of mortal minds.

Patchouli took another book from the top of the three thousand story tall stack of books and looked it over. This one wasn't really a book because the pages were made of the skin of dead housewives, and the words weren't words, but the essence of the invisible. She knew the day would come when she would have to examine this monstrosity. She took a deep breath and opened the book, only to shove it off the table faster than darkness. She decided that this diabolical artifice of evil deserved nothing more than to be annihilated, so she destroyed it personally, and when she was done, she destroyed it some more, ripping apart even the cosmic strings that it was made of.

?She seems angry.?, remarked Sakuya, who was standing by a large table some distance away, holding a platter.

?Indeed.?, replied Remillia, who was sitting at the table, drinking tea.

Even Meiling was sitting there, who couldn't even muster the strength to say anything after witnessing such a display of raw primal power.

?I need to go back to my guarding duties.?, she spat out and ran out of the library even faster than Patchouli had shoved the book away.

Suddenly the ground shook. Everyone knew what was coming.

?Oh, not this again.?, said Patchouli as Marisa wrapped her arms around her neck from behind.

?Did you miss me??, she asked.

?No.?, replied Patchouli without giving much thought about the matter.

?Good.?, said Marisa who tugged on the leash that she had just put on Patchouli, who stood up from the tugging.

Patchouli followed Marisa, who was tugging on the leash to the melody of Locked Girl, while she was blatantly taking books off the shelves without bothering to read the covers and shoving them up her hat.

Meanwhile, Rumia was laying on the large table, around which Remillia and Sakuya were standing, and was rolling all over it. After a few minutes of her rolling, Sakuya had had enough, so she took her knives and stabbed every single one in her possession (about nine thousand and thirty seven) in uncomfortable places all over Rumia's body, who didn't seem to react.

When Rumia realised what had happened she took every single knife out of her body and threw them at Sakuya, who couldn't do anything to stop her. Rumia ripped off her own clothes and devoured Sakuya with her chest-mouth, and then stole her clothes, which shrunk to fit her.

Remillia sipped her tea, ?That was my best maid. Now I'll either have to do all of the paperwork to employ another one, or turn several of the fairy maids into one.?

Rumia did the same to Remillia and then left to go do it to Meiling, too, but she remembered that Meiling tastes terrible, so she walked back into the library to read a biology textbook or something.

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Re: SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2015, 02:58:05 PM »
Patchouli slammed her book shut. It wasn't really a book, since the pages were made of lasers and the words weren't even words, but the doomed souls of fairies screaming in unbearable confusion.

?Well that was a load of shit.?, she said as she threw it in the trash.