Author Topic: SILVERQUEST  (Read 105331 times)

Stuffman

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SILVERQUEST
« on: May 11, 2014, 06:06:26 AM »




























> SILVERQUEST



You are RINNOSUKE MORICHIKA, THE UNMOVING USED GOODS SELLER. You are the owner and sole proprietor of KOURINDOU, a shop specialized in selling goods from the OUTSIDE WORLD, which, as far as you know, is the only one of its kind in Gensokyo. You are uniquely qualified to run such a shop, in that you possess the ABILITY TO IDENTIFY OBJECTS. By touching and examining any man-made (or youkai-made) object, you can learn its name and purpose. However, your ability doesn't tell you how to operate these objects, so you often have to spend a significant amount of time fiddling with your own merchandise before you can sell it.

Unfortunately, in spite of the (in your opinion) high value stock your shop carries, Kourindou has not historically been very profitable. Your shop usually had more loiterers than customers. Although you built your shop on the edge of the FOREST OF MAGIC to service both human and youkai clientele, you didn't see many of either. It also doesn't help that your salesmanship is admittedly lacking.

However, you've recently discovered a new approach to marketing that has increased business significantly:



MAIL ORDER CATALOGS! You don't have to smooth talk customers if you don't even see their faces! The idea was proposed by a tengu printing company, and while it wasn't cheap to get off the ground, the catalogs have more than paid for themselves.

Of course, the problem with mail order is that you need somebody to deliver the goods. The tengu wanted to take care of that too, but you were smart enough to realize they were going to charge you an arm and a leg for it.

You've hired your own couriers, mostly minor youkai and even a few fairies to carry small merchandise. Since it would obviously lead to disaster if employees were chosen haphazardly, you test them by giving them a cheap wine glass and seeing if they can deliver it to KEINE KAMISHIRASAWA, an acquaintance of yours, in one piece.

Of course, then there's the heavy merchandise. You've hired a professional courier to take care of that, and the peace of mind is well worth the price.

You have several expensive pieces for her to deliver today. She should be here within the hour.



> _
« Last Edit: September 30, 2014, 09:31:10 PM by Stuffman »

Third Eye Lem

  • Time Ticker
  • Castle Bal
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2014, 06:19:05 AM »
> Wonder what the hell happened to that other hair-colored quest
> Take inventory of ourselves, our stock, and our funds.
> Are those vending machines on the right? Let's look at them!

Kilgamayan

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2014, 06:26:49 AM »
> Byakuren: Namusan.
[22:40:12] <Drake> "guys i donwloaded esod but its not workan"
[22:40:21] <Drake> REPORTED
[22:40:25] <NaturallyOccurringChoja> PROBATED
[22:40:30] <Drake> ORGASM
[22:40:32] <NaturallyOccurringChoja> FUCK YEAH

[22:28:39] <Edible> Mafia would be a much easier game if we were playing "spot the asshole"

Hello Purvis

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2014, 06:32:23 AM »
Stuffman: YOU DAMN FOOL!
Lem: He explained in the thread. Go do some reading.

>Eirin:  Scheme.
>Rinnosuke: Read a book, read a book, read a motherfuckin' book!
« Last Edit: May 11, 2014, 07:20:57 AM by M. Purvis »

O4rfish

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2014, 06:58:07 AM »
>Tokiko: ki ko TO KI KO!

>Sakuya: fix Youmu's neckerchief.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2014, 07:12:10 AM by O4rfish »
[9:49:09] <Purvis> Generally not, but your mother may be an exception.

Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2014, 08:46:26 AM »
>5MS: Acquire mail from mailbox.

O4rfish

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2014, 09:44:36 AM »
>5MS: Acquire mail from mailbox.

According to his tumblr, the 5MS are purple, not silver.

Although ... Letty was later moved to Silver. Who can say what the ramifications of this post will be?
« Last Edit: May 11, 2014, 09:49:52 AM by O4rfish »
[9:49:09] <Purvis> Generally not, but your mother may be an exception.

Raikaria

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2014, 10:32:05 AM »
> Check storeroom for sticky-fingered magician.


http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/tribute/
I don't even remember who put the above in my sig. [Wasn't me] Nor do I understand why I keep it here anymore.
Those two facts sum me up pretty well.

Pesco

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2014, 10:56:32 AM »
> Ponder opinion of Nazrin

O4rfish

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2014, 11:14:02 AM »
> Check storeroom for sticky-fingered filcher.

I'm having too much fun with this thread.
[9:49:09] <Purvis> Generally not, but your mother may be an exception.

E-Nazrin

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2014, 01:21:53 PM »
>Review primary sales statistics. Most popular, profitable, expensive, and cheapest items!
There was something here once. Wonder what...

Edible

  • One part the F?hrer, one part the Pope
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  • It's the inevitable return, baby
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2014, 01:30:04 PM »
>Edible: Love Stuffman unconditionally.

>Rinnosuke: Tidy up the store.  Those spiderwebs are unsightly.

Hello Purvis

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  • Hello Jerry
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #12 on: May 12, 2014, 03:09:41 AM »
>Sakuya: Muda muda

capt. h

  • Only sane townie
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2014, 03:36:34 AM »
> Take inventory.

Kilgamayan

  • True
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  • The Real Treasure Is You
    • Let's Play Super Marisa World
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2014, 04:00:22 AM »
Wait, you chose the shopkeeper as the MC just for the >Inventory joke, didn't you?
[22:40:12] <Drake> "guys i donwloaded esod but its not workan"
[22:40:21] <Drake> REPORTED
[22:40:25] <NaturallyOccurringChoja> PROBATED
[22:40:30] <Drake> ORGASM
[22:40:32] <NaturallyOccurringChoja> FUCK YEAH

[22:28:39] <Edible> Mafia would be a much easier game if we were playing "spot the asshole"

KaiserKnuckle

  • You better stop,
  • and think about what you're doing
    • Music interests and whatnot
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2014, 04:24:58 AM »
>Rinnosuke: Peruse inventory for arms and/or armaments.
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Prime32

  • Munch-Munch Demon
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2014, 02:14:13 PM »
>Rinnosuke: Set up hookah.

Stuffman

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #17 on: May 14, 2014, 05:09:59 AM »
> Rinnosuke: Check inventory.

You did inventory last weekend. No need to go over everything again so soon. You guess you could double-check the box of new items you got in yesterday, though.



Your SUPPLIER dropped off a whole bunch of these for free, seems they were just gathering dust. They're high-tech toys that were immensely popular in the outside world for a while. Apparently it's called a Tamagotchi, and it's meant to simulate raising a pet. You've got it mostly figured out.

Looking at this box, you feel a little sad that all these supposed "pets" were abandoned. Then you remember that getting emotionally attached to these pieces of plastic is all part of the manufacturer's dastardly plan, and you drop any thoughts of melancholy and replace them with thoughts of marketing. Maybe you could give a couple away for free to kids in the village, and when their interest is piqued on you can sell the rest for more than you normally would. Yeah, that's the ticket.

> Rinnosuke: No, check your personal inventory.

You have:
- 1x Notebook.
- 3x Pen. You always wind up letting someone borrow it for a moment, just to have them walk off with it. Marisa does it every time on purpose, so you keep spares on hand.
- 1x Hakurei Whistle. This is a common whistle with red and white yin-yangs painted on the sides. You blow it if you get a troublemaker in the shop, and inform them that the Hakurei Shrine Maiden is coming to wreck their shit. This is actually not true, but it hasn't failed to scare anyone off yet. Being a known friend of REIMU HAKUREI has its perks.
- 1x Fun Size Mounds Bar. This is your preferred BACKUP CANDY. Note that it must be Mounds, and NOT Almond Joy. You HATE almonds!!

You have plenty of other junk worth carrying around, but you keep it in your desk unless you go out.

> Rinnosuke: Review best-selling items.



It's the middle of summer, and it's been an especially hot one, so it's no surprise your best selling item is your WATER GUNS. The kappa-made ones were already doing well, but you were able to get your hands on a huge stock of these colorful plastic models from the outside world for dirt cheap. You've blown the kappa out of the water (no pun intended) in terms of sales. They sure aren't happy about it! They want to buy out the rest of your stock, but you'll wait until sales slow down a bit.



The heat is also responsible for your top-selling luxury item, AIR CONDITIONERS. They're useless unless you're wired for electricity from Youkai Mountain's power plant, but there are still plenty of tengu eager to get their hands on one. Apparently the tengu news agencies are pooling their funds to install them in their offices.

Speaking of air conditioners, a particularly heavy-duty model is one of the orders you're sending out today.

> Rinnosuke: Examine vending machines.



Fairies would often wander into your store with pocket change and be disappointed that nothing was in their price range, so you decided to install these, which are full of the kind of shiny worthless things fairies enjoy. You also have one machine dedicated to taking advantage of Marisa's Reeses Pieces addiction.

They don't make much money, but they also don't really cost anything to run.

> Rinnosuke: Check storeroom.




Everything's right where you left it last night. You boxed up these four items right before closing up shop so they'd be ready to go this morning. This is some high-value merchandise! Coincidentally, the orders all came in from different customers at around the same time - just when you thought you were in the middle of a slump. These will probably be the biggest sales you make this month.

> Rinnosuke: Bust out the hookah.



You admit you've got a hankerin' for a stankerin'. This thing has really grown on you. But it's way too early in the morning for that! You don't want to be halfway through a smoke when your courier shows up.

> Rinnosuke: Tidy up a bit.

Nah. The musty atmosphere is what gives the shop its RUSTIC CHARM.

> Rinnosuke: Consider business relationships.



Your SUPPLIER is none other than the infamous YUKARI YAKUMO, who is known to make regular trips to the outside world. She's in on your business because she likes to keep tabs on what's going in and out of Gensokyo, and she gets a piece of the profit...but what she really wants is a piece of you. This is a problem, because you want nothing to do with Yukari outside of business. That woman isn't just trouble, she fell out of the trouble tree and hit every branch on the way down. You're hesitant to cut ties with her, though; it's not like you can't get new inventory without her, but she does have a knack for picking out hot sellers. Thankfully, she is subtle enough about her romantic interest that you can spurn her affections without getting your intestines gapped out. For now.



(Incidentally, her shikigami, on the other hand, is a tall drink of water. Those eyes. Those hips. Those fluffy tails. Dat math. But trying your luck with her would be too risky.)



Next, there's your STANDARD COURIERS. Most of them are fairies of above-average intelligence (for fairies) or small-fry youkai. WRIGGLE NIGHTBUG has distinguished herself as being particularly reliable for standard deliveries, though customers often complain of the bugs that come with her.

And then there's your PROFESSIONAL COURIER, who always gets the job done - provided you can get her to show up in the first place. You don't trust anyone else with the stuff that needs to go out today, but she hasn't showed up yet and it's getting close to eight. You hope that messenger mouse she keeps posted near your shop hasn't gotten snatched up by a bird or something.

You wonder if she's just on her way.

> Be Nazrin.



You are NAZRIN, THE -- oh. It seems now is not a good time for introductions.

These tengu have ambushed you on the way to Kourindou! They say they intend to dispose of you so they can maintain the tengu monopoly on high-profile COURIER WORK. That just won't do. You're close to being able to afford to excavate that new wine and cheese cellar!

For you, trying to beat one tengu would be an awfully messy affair; beating two is out of the question. You need to run away. Fortunately, running away is your specialty.

> Nazrin: Slip away.





Unfortunately, tengu are pretty damn fast, so your escape attempt fails. TENGU A hits you with SONIC BOOT, sneak attacking you as you try to escape! That hurt a lot. This is a really bad situation, not gonna lie.



TENGU B attempts to finish you off with GALEBLAZER, a wind-powered tackle!



Fortunately, AUTO-JERRY triggers, fouling up her attack with a slapstick gag summoned by one of the PATRON SAINTS OF MICE.



You probably won't be so lucky again. You need to figure out a way to escape this battle.

> _
« Last Edit: September 30, 2014, 09:32:13 PM by Stuffman »

Raikaria

  • Do Tank Girls Dream...
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  • Of Floating Eyeballs?
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2014, 05:26:42 AM »
> Check for subcommands under other trees. Maybe there is a failsafe escape skill under the SUPERVISE tree.


http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/tribute/
I don't even remember who put the above in my sig. [Wasn't me] Nor do I understand why I keep it here anymore.
Those two facts sum me up pretty well.

Third Eye Lem

  • Time Ticker
  • Castle Bal
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2014, 05:29:26 AM »
Quote
>auto-jerry
How did I not see this coming, lawl. GG, Stuffers.

> Nazrin: Spin those divining rods to make a cloud of dust and dirt, hopefully that'll give us enough of a distraction to escape.
> Kourin: Are we allowed to look at these boxed goods before we send them off? Hell, who ordered them anyways?

Drake

  • *
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2014, 07:52:10 AM »
Oh. Oh my. So much yes.

Good tamagotchi joke. Or reality, I guess.

> Nazrin: Bribe with deal on an air conditioner, knowing Rinnosuke would never do it anyways

A Colorful Calculating Creative and Cuddly Crafty Callipygous Clever Commander
- original art by Aiけん | ウサホリ -

O4rfish

  • something seems fishy
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    • Ask an Oarfish!
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #21 on: May 14, 2014, 08:20:13 AM »
>Send out an SOS to summon a swarm of small sons of Sisyphus.
[9:49:09] <Purvis> Generally not, but your mother may be an exception.

Stuffman

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #22 on: May 14, 2014, 01:09:40 PM »
> Check for subcommands under other trees. Maybe there is a failsafe escape skill under the SUPERVISE tree.

In case you don't remember from Purplequest, you are allowed to make up any command you want, as long as it starts with an S.

Pesco

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #23 on: May 14, 2014, 01:15:06 PM »
In case you don't remember from Purplequest, you are allowed to make up any command you want, as long as it starts with an S.

>Slam dunk Tengu B

Edible

  • One part the F?hrer, one part the Pope
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  • It's the inevitable return, baby
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #24 on: May 14, 2014, 01:19:25 PM »
If Purplequest has taught me anything, it's that Nazrin can dig one amazing hole.

>Shovel

KaiserKnuckle

  • You better stop,
  • and think about what you're doing
    • Music interests and whatnot
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #25 on: May 14, 2014, 01:32:29 PM »
>Saltarello
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Prime32

  • Munch-Munch Demon
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #26 on: May 14, 2014, 01:33:28 PM »
>Swindle

Hand them a random object on your person, say "Fine, you can have the job, but this has to be delivered to Tenma in the next ten minutes or we lose the contract. Thanks to you two I'm already late."

capt. h

  • Only sane townie
Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #27 on: May 14, 2014, 01:53:29 PM »
> NAZRIN, use DIG attack!

Drake

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #28 on: May 14, 2014, 03:33:32 PM »
>Swindle

Hand them a random object on your person, say "Fine, you can have the job, but this has to be delivered to Tenma in the next ten minutes or we lose the contract. Thanks to you two I'm already late."
this is a better trick yes
> Nazrin: Subterfuge

A Colorful Calculating Creative and Cuddly Crafty Callipygous Clever Commander
- original art by Aiけん | ウサホリ -

Kasu

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Re: SILVERQUEST
« Reply #29 on: May 14, 2014, 03:56:05 PM »
> Nazrin: Slapstick.

Apparently, Thomas the Tank Engine isn't one to take crap from anyone.