Oh man I'm so glad that this thread is titled the Imperishable Night edition, because, well, okay using the correct format:
You know you're addicted to Touhou when you're head over heels falling in love with a video game.
Okay so it sounds far fetched, but you have to hear me out. I mean, I was always particularly attracted to Imperishable Night in particular (I think I had about 200 play hours in it when I checked last week), but I knew something was wrong when I woke up day after day with drool on my track pad and midi kagome kagome blaring in my ears. I mean, I've stayed up all night playing other games before, including other Touhou games, but the difference is, I usually stay up. I never fall asleep playing games, because the intrigue of the gameplay forces my mind to stay extremely active. However, with IN, I feel like my relationship has transcended the gameplay. Sometimes when I grind, I'm not even paying attention to where I'm going or how many lives I'm losing, but I just enjoy the company of the game, and looking at the beautiful patterns left by star items when I die, and listening to the beautiful strains of ZUN's compositions pouring through the speakers, and I just want to hold and caress it all day. When my wrists get too tired to grind anymore, I go to youtube and listen to every arrange of every single track in the game. I don't even like over 95% of them, but I listen to all of them all the way through regardless because it's related to the love of my life. Every night I go to bed thinking about her. Unfortunately, she's not mine alone, and in fact, many others are much better than me at playing with her. But I've even masturbated while watching superplayers play her, using extremely fine control to do completely unreal things with her state space. Ahh~ it's just so erotic! I've taken to kissing her good night every time I quit the game, and I've also edited her launch script so that my computer displays a fortune every time I wake her up, as though she had a dream where all she can remember upon awakening is some absurd phrase or profound lesson that she immediately wants to share with me. Once I wrote her a 10 page love letter in the form of lyrics to all of her songs, but she hasn't responded yet. Which is okay, I can wait. I will save myself forever for the love of my life. Maybe she's uncomfortable since I always ogle her. But I'm sort of socially inept, so I can't think of any other way I could interact with her. Oh man, I hope my past actions haven't irrevocably destroyed any possibility of relationship. She truly is the most beautiful game I have ever encountered, and I will literally kill myself if she doesn't reciprocate my love. Well, no, I won't literally kill myself, my heart will simply break of its own accord and no one but you all will know the cause of my tragic death.
