Marisa Dresden
My name is Marisa Kirisame. Conjure by it at your own risk.
For a long time running, I'd been Gensokyo's only openly practicing Magician. A few newcomers to the block have forced me to change that slightly; now, I'm Gensokyo's only openly practicing
human Magician. While you can usually bet dollars to donuts that some of the nasties from the supernatural side of Gensokyo - the Nevernever - are blatantly hostile, there are in fact quite a few benevolent preternaturals.
Take Kedama the Plushy, for example. An inherited spirit of intellect, previously held by my former instructor in the ways of magic - The Greatest Magician, Mima. I inherited the spirit after Mima's untimely passing, brought on by a severe case of underestimating her star pupil and subsequent flash incineration. It's a real nasty bug, but thankfully, it's pretty rare.
Kedama, however, could be a bit of a smartass, sometimes, and had this obscene fascination with sappy doujins and fanfics. While he is an embodiment of vast cosmic knowledge, having to pay him in steamy fanfiction starring some of the very people I know could be a bit unsettling, and sometimes he refused to help me until I provided what he wanted or released him from his fuzzball plushy shelter to go find his own entertainment.
"I'm just saying, it'd be absolutely horrendous if this potion ended up making your target, like, completely immune to magic and, say, a dozen times faster and stronger, instead of blowing them up. I might need something to help me remember the proper recipe."
I sighed and resisted the urge to smash the fuzzball with a heavy grimoire. "And exactly how is smutty Yumemi-and-Shikieiki fanfiction supposed to help you remember?"
The plushy bobbed up and down on the tabletop. "Easy! Yumemi is a scientist, so she's always doing alchemical stuff, and Shikieiki is a judge. She's talented at balancing scales, so that way I can get the dosage right."
I stared long and hard at the plushy. Being a plushy, it wasn't exactly able to return my contemptuous sneer, but the glowing eyelights that marked Kedama's presence twinkled mischievously. The plushy continued its fool's grin at me.
"One of these days, I'm going to learn the recipes and manage to remember them myself. No matter if the will and effort spells being dumped into them makes them hard to retain; hell, I could render you obsolete with a pen and paper."
The plushy nodded. "And until then, I'm gonna milk you for all the slashfics and lemons I can, and in the meantime, provide you with excellent advice on putting down youkai and crafting new spells. So, since that day is evidently not here yet, do we have a deal?"
I sighed again, and this time, gave in to the urge to smush the plushy a little with a nearby grimoire. "Fine, fine, I'll see what I can dig up."
"Y'know, boss, it might be easier if you let me out to find it, myself. I have a talent, you know."
And it'd give me some free time, since Kedama obviously wasn't going to help me until I got him his smut. "Fine, you can leave your confines for the sole purpose of finding your new blight upon paper, and then returning immediately after you've acquired it. I'm going out, too. When I get back, you're going to help me with this next batch of bomb potions. Got it?"
"Of course, of course! Have fun!" With that, the glowing eyelights faded, and a sparkling cloud of candle flame-colored light drifted out of the Kedama plushy and zipped out through the window.
At least spirits of intellect don't have mass, or the ability to shatter windows on their way through. Because they also lack the capacity to open them.
Short on hard spending money, but easy on time, I decided to head to Mystia's Pub. Located on the outskirts of the hustle and bustle of the Human Village, Mystia's was a quaint little place that perfectly lived up to the definition of 'pub'. An old-fashioned wood grill, perfectly set up for cooking anything your heart could desire - and after trying just one, your heart usually desired more of Mystia's phenomenal lamprey - with flasks and flasks of Mystia's very own brand of sake. Rumor had it that she'd learned some techniques for distilling the rice liquor from the oni, but neither Mystia nor the oni would confirm or deny them. A bit of Mystia's warm sake next to a tray of her gourmet lamprey could turn any day for a brooding Magician into something more tolerable.
Like days spent dealing with fussy spirits.
I descended into Mystia's, ducking my head as I came through the door so as not to knock my hat off on the lazily spinning ceiling fan. Mystia had decorated the place with thirteen erratically placed wooden pillars, each decorated with hand-carved scenes espousing the tales and adventures of the local shrine maiden. My personal favorite was the one featuring the flying saucers; I had a hand in a lot of the incidents portrayed on those pillars, but the saucers were just way too much fun to chase after. There's a small cameo of yours truly on that pillar, though it's not in great detail and you have to actually look to find it.
In the corner, two Goddesses, in warm autumn colors, sat at a table playing shogi. Nearly every time I came in here, they were at it. Nearer to the door, two more Goddesses sat with a bottle of Mystia's Sake between them, lazily whiling away the time. Mortal concerns clearly did not concern them, unless curses or war were involved. I tipped my hat towards them; they were the deities backing another local shrine maiden, and I didn't like to be on their bad side. It was hard enough dealing with Reimu, who was in charge of the supernatural side of youkai extermination - getting the spiritual side of investigation angry at me has more often than not left me with obstacles instead of allies.
See? I step into a tavern, and already there are four Goddesses. That's why the distinction about being the only openly practicing
human Magician is so important. You've really gotta stick to your guns when you've got talent like that swinging around over your head.
Mystia herself stood at behind the counter, idly staring off into space and wiping the bartop with a cloth white enough to be called bridal. I waved lazily in greeting, and she grunted back without bothering to even focus her eyes.
"Hey. Bottle of sake and a skewer of lamprey, if you'd be so kind." I reached into a pocket and drew out a pair of coins, and set them rolling across the counter towards her. She absently whipped the cloth over them, and they disappeared. Finally seeming to take note of me, she nodded at me and turned towards the grill. "You were followed," she mumbled. Mystia doesn't usually talk to me, as such. Not since a little misunderstanding several many nights past. She takes my coin, serves me food, but tends to try to stay detached from any of my business now.
I sat down at the bar and listened carefully. Sure enough, I heard the dull clicking noise of wooden slats on wooden floors working its way through the room. Based on Mystia's insistence that said person was following yours truly, and the wooden slats, I took a fairly confident shot in the dark.
"Mrs. Shameimaru, pleased to have you join us. Have a seat, I'll treat you to some sake while refusing to feed your gossip mill."
The footsteps halted for a second. Even though Aya Shameimaru had just as much of an investigative mind as I do, even she fell prey to the same trap most normal humans do when they're dealing with me. They attribute my apparent omnipotent knowledge to something arcane; I 'magically' knew it was Aya approaching me. No, it wasn't because I knew she wears geta and walks with a long, confident stride and I could hear her footsteps across the wooden floor.
"Hmm. Guess I'll have to stop wearing so much perfume if you're able to smell me coming like that."
Hmm. Close, Aya. Maybe she doesn't necessarily attribute everything I do to magic.
"Whatever tickles your fancy. So, what's new? Some faerie uprising you want me to quash? The latest details on the forbidden romance between a ghost and her executioner? Werewolves on the lam?"
"Actually, I'm here as a favor."
My stomach dropped. Aya wouldn't consider doing someone a favour unless she was being paid in riches, gossip, or knew she was getting back more than she was putting in. Sometimes all three. That I was involved could only be bad news. She'd been wanting to get as much information as she could about my hakkero and broom enchantments, find a way to reverse engineer it so the average human could make use of them. Whatever she got out of this favor was likely aimed at getting under my skin.
"Hakurei wanted me to fetch you and bring you down to the shrine."
I blew out a breath. "Stars and sparks, it's my day off. What does Haku want with me?"
Aya snorted. "You're self-employed. It's always your day off until the bills start piling up. She didn't tell me much, just that something involving the Puppeteer had popped up and that she'd tell me the next step in disarming the wards into your house if I came and fetched you."
Hell's bells. Now I had to add another layer of wards - that'd bring it up to roughly eighteen different spells barring entry to the house.
"Ugh. You don't get any sake, then, if you're here on business. It's bad form for you to drink on the job."
"How about I foot the bill for your lunch there, since you're about to go and see the shrine maiden. You don't want to show up completely sauced, do you? I'll just take the bottle of sake from you. I'm done working in an official capacity now, I can drink however I want to."
"You weave words into unbreakable spells. You bind my actions and strip away my free will. You are a fiend and a scourge upon Gensokyo. Enjoy the sake, I'll take the lamprey to the shrine."
Aya grinned at me as I rose from the bar.
So much for time off, and spending the day relaxing with some alchemy. Something had come up with Alice, and Hakurei wanted my expert opinion on the matter?
Well, why not. Marisa Kirisame - Human Magician, and Incident Investigator - is on the job.
I gnawed mindlessly on the skewer of lamprey I'd liberated from Aya's appetite. Alice was an acquaintance of mine - a fellow Magician. Her raw magical prowess wasn't quite up to par with mine, which is saying something, because she's a Youkai. Despite her lower power threshold, she is far more skilled at focusing what she's got than I am.
Don't get me wrong. I just happen to like solving my problems quickly, so what if it's a little messier. Giant lasers work just as well as tying your problem up, right?
There's a dirty joke in there somewhere, but I'd rather save it for when Alice is actually around.
Alice usually handled the smaller side of the magical world; things that were too small or delicate for my admittedly heavy-handed touch were right on par with her style. If it escaped my notice because of how low-key it was, Alice took care of it.
Reimu Hakurei, however - the primary Shrine Maiden in Gensokyo - handled things of a less magical nature, and dealt mostly with human problems. She kept things from the Magic side from bleeding over into mundane human world, and occasionally called for my assistance. If she needed me for something involving Alice, I had to admit, I was a little worried. Our disparate skillsets usually meant we were unsuited for helping each other; Alice usually didn't like it when I stuck my nose into her business, and I personally think her methods take too long or aren't thorough enough.
Reimu was supposed to be the go-between; she has more than enough natural talent to handle anything I have to deal with, and enough finesse to be able to keep Alice on the sidelines. The only thing that kept her from handling everything ever was her apathy towards Magic (and in turn, the Nevernever), and her grasp of Magic Theory.
Of course, this is Gensokyo, and entirely too much happens here for just three people to handle on our own. Most of the people in the Human Village don't notice most of it, but the off-hand jokes I made to Aya as she came into Mystia's - faerie uprisings, ghosts, werewolves - have better odds than not of happening. Or having happened.
I know a few ghosts, after all.
Reimu's shrine managed to put itself in front of my feet, which is incredibly lucky for me, because I'd been so lost in thought that I really wasn't paying much attention to where I was going. Dangerous, typically, but at this point, most of the Magical creatures know better than to try to get the drop on me. My Orrerie's bracelet has as much of a reputation as I do at this point.
Hakurei herself was leaning against the torii gate at the top of the stairs. She was probably waiting for me, but she wasn't actually watching down the stairs. If I'd brought my broom with me, I could've flown up the stairs silently and landed next to her.
Maybe next time. Oh well, no point in lollygagging around anymore. I start up the stairs.
I make it maybe three steps up before I get tackled from behind. I only barely manage to twist to the side, saving my head from an intimate meeting with the hard stone step, and take the hit to the shoulder instead.
"
Orrerie's Suns!" I manage to grunt out. Around the bracelet, four orbs of concentrated magic spring into existence, and a barrier of the same bursts out of my skin.
The barrier shoves the faery off my back, and redirects the energy of the next strike - a big honking tree branch swung at me by two other faeries.
The Orrerie's Suns shunts the pressure into the ground under me, and a few of the stairs crack from the force. The tree branch itself breaks across me, and the two faeries that were holding it go cartwheeling through the air, clutching the splintered wood between them.
Thanks to the shield hovering around me, the branch doesn't do much more than piss me off a little bit, and I sit upright. The original faerie had backpedaled a bit to make room for the bludgeon, but beyond her I saw another pair of faeries pooling some magic together between them.
The pixies were going to try to shoot a spell at me? What little pricks!
"
Infans Solaris!" I flailed an angry gesture at the faeries, and twin orbs of light rush out of the air in front of me at them. About a second into their life, they burst into flame, and began to corkscrew around each other.
The faeries managed to split away at the last possible second - a nasty habit they had, and were extremely talented at - but the Solaris spell was designed with that contingency in mind.
It exploded, violently.
The pressure wave made the trees on either side of the pathway lean out, and some of the smaller plants nearer to the ground flash ignited from the heat. My Orrerie's Suns popped down to two orbs around the bracelet - half shield strength remaining.
The Solaris spell shouldn't have gone off that explosively, but apparently the magic the faeries were conjuring up had persisted long enough to be consumed. The faeries themselves were thrown about the small clearing at the base of the stairs, one of whom ended up head-first in a tree trunk.
I climbed back to my feet and shook my Orrerie's bracelet out, letting it settle around my wrist a little better. My other hand dipped into a pocket sewn into the waist of my dress, and I drew out a short wand.
Really, it's a dagger, but after what I've done to it, it's a wand now.
"Come on, gals, let's see how you like some iron-based danmaku! Who wants to go first?"
At the mention of iron, the faeries - save for the one face-deep in a tree - all back away from me as one. "That's what I thought. Now, be good little girls and go back home, and maybe I won't kill you for reals, and I'll just use regular magic so you can respawn."
Before I can make good on either threat, though, Reimu lands next to me. She brandishes her gohei for a second, holding a pose that I'm sure has some fancy name in tai-chi like 'Eight Breaths Flow Through Bountiful Crops' or something, then leaps for the nearest faery.
For not being very Magical, herself, she sure packs enough of a wallop to have a lasting effect on Fey and Magic creatures. The gohei whips back and forth, and the faery is spun around in midair with two red-hot lines rapidly rising on her flesh, then drops straight down. Reimu lashes out with a single foot and punts the faery at her comrade stuck in the tree, and the impact dislodges her and they both fall to the ground in a heap.
"Begone! Remove yourselves!
Run! If I must, I will fight! I will maim! I will kill!" she barks at the faeries.
Her gohei, combined with my dagger wand, compels the faeries to shove off. They turn away from us as one, and with a wave of their hands, tear open a hole in reality and scramble through it, escaping into the Nevernever.
I exhale, letting out a massive breath, and release the Orrerie's Suns spell. The barrier around me fades out of existence, and the visible representation orbiting my wrist disappears with a burst of static.
Reimu looks at the wand in my hand. "Since when did you start carrying knives?"
"Since when did you finally start promising things in triplicate to the Fey?"
Reimu straightens up as well, and the tension drops from her body almost effortlessly. Her shoulders slouch noticeably, and the tip of the gohei drops to the ground. "Since I saw about a dozen and a half more coming up through the trees towards you. Didn't feel like playing the long-and-hard version today. Got too much other shit to talk about."
"Aya mentioned that. Something about Alice?"
Reimu nodded, then gestured up the stairs with her gohei. "Come on up. I have some tea waiting, we'll discuss it in the shrine."
