Topic: Twilight: Touhou Edition. Because SOME of us hate the vampire depictions...  (Read 1758 times)

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Cybeast710

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When considering the contrary fact that:
A: I own all the Twilight books and like the storyline but
B: I hate the sparkling vampires and the nobility and self-sacrificial attitudes make me sick...

I realize something. The reason that people hate the books is because of the vampires and how they take every canonical trait associated with vampires and chuck them in the trash. Put simply, vampires have a rep for being forces of darkness/temptation/evil. And having vampires portrayed as not only not evil, but GOOD, is something that throws people who grew up on Dracula and CastleVania for a loop. Many (myself included) don't like those traits BECAUSE they are non-canonical and indeed are like the exact INVERSE of how a vampire is normally portrayed.

Thinking about it harder, I realize that a LOT of the vampires/werewolves in the books could be replaced with Touhous with the same abilities, and it wouldn't change the storyline by much at all. Of course, Bella would need to be changed to some guy or another... or you'd invoke the wrath of every single Republican ever. Hahah, just joking.
Also, we'll need to tinker with the "reveal" part of the storyline. It isn't quite as easy to transfer between the human world and Gensokyo as it is to use the original storyline. In Return of Touhou Mother, though, Eirin DID create artificial gaps. So there is that...
Edward->Satori. (Mind Reading)
Jacob->Keine (Were-creatures)
Carlisle->Eirin (Medical)
Rosalie->Remilia (Both spoiled brats)
Embry-> Mokou (Needed someone who would follow Keine at the point where the pack splits)
Sam -> Tenshi (Would have a hate issue towards some of them)
Emmett -> Meiling (Martial Arts)
Volturi -> Yukari, Ran, and Chen. (Frankly, they're as close to a ruling body as Gensokyo has. And we can play the "hibernating" card as to why Yukari hasn't a freaking clue that Satori brought her into Gensokyo a couple of times.)
Alice -> Akyu (Hmm... I could rip off Tales of the Abyss and have her "find" pieces of "Hakurei's Score" every once in a while. Not much else one can do with precognition)
Esme -> Kaguya (Relation to Eirin, might be able to pull this off)
Renesme -> Let's ignore this and instead have a friend grab onto her or something. This would cause SO MANY PLOTHOLES.
James, Victoria, Laurent-> Team 9 (James is Cirno. Respawns somewhere else. Victoria? Rumia. She'll flee the scene at the end. Laurent? We can ignore him.)
Zafrina -> Reisen (Illusions)
The Romanians -> Mima (Forgotten? Check. Would love to topple some high hats? Check)
The Immortal Children who were mentioned? Gee, this one's so obvious you don't even need me to say who gets this role. FLANDRE!

Yeah... that's a start... Who thinks writing this is a good idea? Only problem is, I've entirely misplaced New Moon, so someone ELSE will need to write that, or I need to get another copy.
My fanfics: Touhou Wrecks X!
What happens when Nue's in a pranky mood and at the same time, Yukari's bored? Pokemon XD: Impostor of Darkness
I made this cool matrixy eye:
  • My Let's Plays!
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

In other words, this needs to be done now.  :derp:

Cybeast710

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  • Nickname: LikesTouhou
Glad to see you think that way. Certain others don't... but hey. They might change their minds when I'm done.
My fanfics: Touhou Wrecks X!
What happens when Nue's in a pranky mood and at the same time, Yukari's bored? Pokemon XD: Impostor of Darkness
I made this cool matrixy eye:
  • My Let's Plays!

Ikari

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  • Nickname: Kalen
I'll be honest, I hate Twilight with extreme passion for many, many reasons, but I'll say this; Instead of blind, random hate, I actually have reasons, examples, and actually am reading the books so I'm not following the bandwagon of ''This suck because sparkly fairies". I despise the author, the main characters and the incredible lack of plot, but I enjoy reading it because I get to laugh and rage, which is probably some sort of ''I love this for all the wrong reasons'' kind of love, but oh well.

A touhou rewrite? Sure. That removes the 3 things I hate the most about the series. Hell, Twilight was full of amazing potential that was pissed on shamelessly and re-writing it is something that has been done by many people, and usually, made the story great.

Your character switch is actually pretty good, though I majorly disagree with Emmett - Meiling. The martial art and physical strength thing matches up, but the personality are insanely different. Yuugi/Suika might work better, seeing how they're a lot more carefree and less stuck up than most people, which is kind of what Emmett was in Twilight.

But really, on a rewrite-unrelated note, I think anyone who hates the books only because there are "Sparkly vampires" just hasn't read it. Plus, your assumption as to why people would dislike the book are somewhat presumptuous. The Cullens are far worse than Dracula anyway; He didn't try to put up a bullshit noble-like pride and pretend he's perfect. Plus, he only wanted his loved one back, in the end.

fondue

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This sounds like a great idea. I've never seen or read twilight though :derp:
 

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