That is quite the predicament, you may not like my solution but it is the old tried and true method of practice.
In the way of "tips", to stop ramming into things, I suggest keeping focus on your heroine instead of watching incoming fire (Catch-22, I know but it works), stay away from the sides and bottom of the screen, and if you are absolutely sure that u are going to get hit, bomb.
Losing bombs < Losing lives.
I know this is general advice but the first solution tends to work.
For your side question, no, that is not strange at all :3
I'm pretty much on the same boat on this strategy. Focus on your heroine, your eyesight might be as well see incoming barrages also even if you do this(experience, and of course human eyesight ain't limited to one straight direction only. :V)
In EoSD, I had a hard time since I'm practically guessing my heroine's center hit box, and damn was it hard. I was able to clear hard but I got some quite few deaths.
PCB made it easier for me since you can actually see the hitbox while on focus speed. Use that to your advantage. I improved to a whole new level 'cause of PCB, and was able to 1CC Hard, and do Lunatic, but still get some quite of few deaths. IN's spell practice changed that also for me, made me focus more on the spells rather than just practice mode. Since of this, I was also able to play PC-98 games with less sweat(except HRtP...f--- that game).
Oh, and don't always death-bomb(that ramming on a bullet to bomb and survive, or got hit by a bullet and miraculously bombed at the exact moment). Use bombs at your disposal. If you know you can't dodge the barrage of bullets coming to you, use a bomb. If you almost got the boss on a stand-still but see a wave of bullets towards you and you're getting all hesitant even though you can dodge, don't...just use a bomb. Just use all your bombs(just don't waste it like bombing every normal mobs on the screen) wisely. It'll make your work easier, and save you in the process. Once you know it...you won't be needing any bombs as soon as you're better. :3
http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,8241.0.htmlHere I suggest you read Sapz thread and go to Bomb Management.
Oh well. I think one of the biggest problems is that I don't really make a conscientious effort to memorise the attacks and enemy positions, as it's really much more fun to wonder what's going to happen next.
Neither do I. Though I think it's 'cause I can't really remember it. :V
But even though you know a pattern, it's still entirely up to you if you can do it.
I can remember patterns, but only if it was just recent, and if I was doing it on retry runs. That G*damn Horai Elixir and Possessed by Phoenix spell cards took me 70-100+ retries on Lunatic, and I even memorized the whole pattern/trick. I never did it on Ultra patch. @__@