Topic: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers  (Read 9393 times)

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  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« on: August 15, 2011, 10:27:33 pm »
Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers

Prologue: Simple and Clean

Since the beginning of time, all of us have to wonder, what truly lies beyond the skies. Are there other places that existed besides our own? No one has ever truly discovered the secrets of the other worlds...until now.

A boy of 15 and a girl of 14 were falling through the deep, dark, ocean. At least, it appeared to be the ocean.

The boy had spiky brown hair and the girl had short black hair tied with a red and white bow. As the opened their eyes, you could see that the boy had crystal blue eyes while the girl had chocolate brown eyes. They looked up to find whatever glimmer of light they could find.

The boy had on a red shirt with a silver crown chain necklace hanging over it. He also had on a blue and white vest, a pair of baggy red shorts, a pair of overly large fingerless gloves, and a pair of huge, poofy yellow shoes.

The girl had on a red dress with large white sleeves that hung from her arms and a white trim, a golden neckerchief, white stockings, and black shoes.

“I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately.” the boy said to himself.
real or not?

“Like is any of this real or not?”

“...You’re telling me.” the girl said.
what do you

“The only thing that lets me know that this is a dream...”

“...Is the music that keeps playing in my head.”

Suddenly, the duo’s eyes snapped open and they found themselves standing on a tropical island beach, facing the water. They shielded their eyes from the blistering sun. But they could see two figures out on the water: a boy with white hair standing in the water and a girl with long blonde hair under a black witch’s hat sitting on a floating broom, the tip of her shoes just touching the water. They both stared out to the horizon, wondering what was out there.

Then the first boy took a step towards the second boy and, looking down, noticed that the water receded suddenly. Then, the first girl gasped and the first boy looked up. There was a tidal wave heading right towards them!

The second set of kids, however, took no notice of it and merely turned around, facing the first two kids. Then, the two of them held out their hands towards the first kids, beckoning them. The first girl and boy ran up to catch their hands, but, just as they were about to do so, the wave crashed on them, and the first kids were swept away by the current.

Then, the first boy shot up out of the water and was gasping for air. It was sunset. He looked around, but couldn’t find the other girls or the other boy.

He then noticed a third red-headed girl on the beach waving to him. He ran up to her and was out of breath by the time he got there. The third girl giggled at his antics then looked up to the sky in curiosity. The boy, also curious, looked up to the golden sky as well. There, a single shooting star was falling towards Earth. Then, he realized, the shooting star was HIM! Then, he saw that he was falling through the sky. He looked back up to the third girl, only to find that she was gone.

He found himself in the water again, along with the first girl. They both found themselves turning upright and standing in the middle of the water. Suddenly, birds erupted from the floor they were standing on and whirled around them, revealing a green stained glass platform with a picture of a woman with hair as black as ebony, lips as red as an apple, and skin as white as snow. The boy and girl watched the birds fly away with newfound freedom.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2011, 08:17:19 pm by touhouguy59 »
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2011, 11:12:52 pm »
Ooh, I like this. :3
And when you said chocolate eyes, the only thing I could think of is 'Mmmm.....chocolate....' XD


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2011, 12:53:44 am »
Chapter 1: Dive into the Heart

The boy and girl looked around, wondering where the HECK they were.

The girl opened her mouth to say something, when-

“So much to do, so little time.”

They both started.

The boy gave the girl a look that said, ‘You heard that too, right?’

She nodded her head in response.

“Take your time. Don’t be afraid.”
“The door is still shut.”
“Power sleeps within you.”

Then, three pillars of light came down from the sky. (If it even WAS the sky.)

When it dissipated, three pedestals were where the pillars were. On top of the pillars were three different kinds of weapons. One had a staff, another had a shield, and the last had a sword. But each of them had the symbol of what seemed to be a mouse’s head. The blue orb on top of the staff was shaped in it’s likeness. The black shield had the symbol on it’s front, this time red. And the Sword had the same symbol, this time black, on it’s golden hilt.

“If you give it form...”
“It will grant you great strength.”
“Choose well.”

The boy looked at the girl and she shrugged.

She walked over to the staff to pick it up, but was stopped by an invisible barrier.

“Hold on. Your time will come soon. For now, you will have to wait.”

The boy turned to the girl and asked her, “Well, what do you think I should do?”

“Hey, it’s your choice, not mine.” she answered.

“Some help you are...” he muttered.

He walked over to the pedestal with the sword floating above it. He jumped onto it and the sword floated into his hands.

“The power of the Warrior.”
“Invincible Courage. A blade of terrible destruction.”
“Is this the path you seek?”

The boy thought about this for a moment. The courage was a definite positive, but the destruction the sword might bring him didn’t sound too good.

“Yes.” he finally answered.

The sword disappeared from his hand in a flash of light and he jumped off the pedestal.

“Your path is set.”
“Now, what will you give up in exchange?”

After thinking about it for a moment, he walked onto the staff pedestal and picked the staff up.

“The power of the Mystic.”
“Inner strength. A staff of wonder and ruin.”
“Do you choose to give up this path?”

“Yes.” the boy said without the slightest hesitation.

“You have chosen the power of the Warrior.”
“You have given up the power of the Mystic.”
“Is this the form you choose?”

“Y-yes.” the boy said nervously.

The staff disappeared from his hand and he jumped off of the pedestal. Then, the three pillars of light came back and enveloped the pedestals. The girl walked to the middle of the platform, knowing that it was her turn now.

“Your power is great, and equals his.”
“However, your role is different than his.”
“But that doesn’t mean it’s any less important.”
“What will your choice be?”

Then, the pillars of light disappeared. Where the sword had been, there was now a stick with paper seals attached to the end in the form of a ribbon. Where the staff had been, there was now a card with strange writing on it. And where the shield had been, there was now a red and white yin-yang orb.

Like the boy’s choices, these weapons had the same symbols on them. The paper seals on the rod were in the shape of the head of a mouse. The card had the symbol neatly printed on it. And the small circles on the yin-yang orb were in the same shape.

The girl put her hands on her hips and turned in a circle slowly, looking at each one carefully, wondering what they would do. The boy wondered which one she would pick.

She walked over to the pedestal with the card floating above it. She jumped on top of it and picked up the card.

“What does this one do?” she wondered aloud.

“The power of the shooter.”
“Powerful if used properly. Spell Cards bring destructive colors.”
“Is this the path you seek?”

The girl thought for a moment, then shook her head.

“What?” the boy exclaimed in surprise.

“I want to see what the other ones can do.” the girl replied.

The boy nodded his head in recognition. Like the girl, he didn’t know what his weapon choices did. But he didn’t wait to find out, unlike the girl.

She then put the card back and went over to the pedestal with the yin-yang orb. She jumped on top of it and touched it.

“The power of the Familiar.”
“Protection from above. The yin-yang orb can be disguised as a cat.”
“Is this the power you seek?”

The girl stared up blankly.

“...Um, no thanks.” she said.

She went over to the pedestal with the rod and paper seals floating above it and picked the rod up.

“The power of the Miko.”
“Divine purifying powers. A gohei fiiting for a maiden of paradise.”
“Is this the power you seek?”

The girl looked at it and then at the other two items.

“You know what? I like this one.” she said finally.

The rod disappeared from her hand in a flash of light.

“Now, what will you give up in exchange?”

Without thinking, the girl pointed at the yin-yang orb and said, “Don’t want it.”

“You have chosen the path of the Miko.”
“You have given up the power of the Familiar.”
“Is this the form you choose?”

“Yes.” the girl said impatiently.

With that, the card disappeared and the pedestals sank into the floor, forcing the girl to jump off of it.

Then, suddenly, the platform shattered, leaving the girl and boy to fall through the water once again.

At first, all the boy and girl could see was each other. That and pure blackness.

But, soon they saw another shining platform. This one depicted a woman with a light blue ball gown and blonde hair tied into a bun. She also had two glass slippers gently nestled on her feet.

The boy and girl flipped upright and landed on the platform with perfect grace.

Then, the sword and gohei appeared in the boy and girl's hand respectively.

"There will be times when you have to fight."

Then, strange creatures appeared on the floor.

They were pure black and had beady little yellow eyes. They also had wicked claws and antennae.

"Keep your light burning strong."

Then, the creatures leaped at the duo, claws raised, ready to rip their hearts out. The girl and boy easily took care of them with a single swing from each of them.

Just as they were about to celebrate their victory-

"Behind you!"

Apparently, the first wave of creatures were merely a diversion, for behind the girl and boy a single creature melted into the floor, creating a tar-like substance that spread all against the floor. This sucked the struggling boy and girl right into it.

They opened their opened eyes to find themselves struggling on the floor ofyet another platform. This one was mainly pink with three heart shapes on it.

The boy and girl picked themselves off the floor and noticed a door infront of them. It was a white, ornately decorated door.

The boy and girl, out of curiosity, went over to the door to open it, only for it to open by itself. A light shone from inside the door, blinding the duo.

"Hold on. The door will not open yet."
"First, tell me a bit about yourself."

When the boy and girl opened their eyes, they found themselves not in darkness, but in a bright, sunny wooden platform overlooking the sea.

They were three other children there. One had brown hair and green eyes. She was wearing a yellow dress and a pair of sandals. Another had messy blonde hair and brown eyes. He was wearing a yellow vest, a pair of green shorts, and a pair of sandals. The last person was a male teenager with red hair that spiked up like a flame and blue eyes. He was wearing a yellow tank top, a pair of poofy yellow pants, and a pair of sandals.

The boy and girl walked up to the green-eyed girl.

"What is most important to you?" the second girl asked.

The boy and brown-eyed girl looked at each other.

"Friendship." they said in unison.

The second girl smiled and said, "Is friendship really such a big deal?"

Then they first boy and girl walked over to the blonde boy.

"What are you most afraid of?" he asked.

"Getting old." the boy and girl said without the slightest hesitation.

The blonde-haired boy grinned.

"Is getting old really so scary?"

The boy and girl went over to the teenager and he asked, "What do you want outta life?"

"To be strong." the boy and girl answered.

"To be strong, huh?" the teenager asked.

"You value friendship."
"You are afraid of getting old."
"You want to be strong."
"Your adventure starts at dawn."
"As long as the sun is shining, your journey should be a pleasant one."

"Sounds good." the boy said.

"The day you will open the door is both far off and very near."

Suddenly, the boy and girl found themselves on another platform with a red tint to it.

It depicted a woman with long blonde hair and was wearing a violet dress. She appeared to be sleeping and was holding a single perfect rose.

A beam of light was shining in the middle of the room.

When the boy and girl went near it, more of the creatures from before appeared on the floor, claws ready to strike. The duo set about dispatching them.

After the battle, the girl and boy high-fived each other. Then the light moved to the edge of the platform, creating several small platforms of stained glass, making a walkway leading to what seemed to be another platform.

The duo began the climb up, wondering what was next.

When they got to the next platform, they saw it depicted yet another woman. This woman was a brunette and had on a regal yellow ball gown.

The platform had a much brighter beam of light on it. A smile creeped upon the boy's face and he started walking towards the light.

The boy was still smiling, looking up into the light, but the girl is the one who heard it.

"The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes."

She shrieked. The boy turned-and saw his shadow elongated all the way to the edge of the platform and morphed into a copy of the boy, but black and dark blue. He gasped as it grew from that.

"But don't be afraid."

He stepped back. The girl was frozen, looking at the humongous, black monster, staring at it's huge hands and feet, and the glowing yellow eyes. The boy grabbed her hand and pulled her back with him.

"And don't forget..."

Still holding her arm, the boy turned and ran to the edge of the platform, stopping just before falling into the abyss. They slowly turned to the huge monster. He pulled out his sword and looked expectantly at the girl. She gulped, nodded, and brought out her gohei. They ran towards the monster, yelling a battle cry.

The boy jumped and swung at a lowered hand. And the girl did the same thing with the opposite hand. Eventually, the hand she was hacking away rose up and began to glow. She fled over to the hand the boy was hitting. The other hand punched straight into the floor and a pool of darkness appeared where it hit. The smaller creatures from before crawled out of the pool and began swiping at the boy's legs.

"I'll handle the little ones!" the girl yelled at the boy and began hacking away.

The boy nodded and began slashing at the monster's head.

Soon, however, the monster leaned backwards and a blue light came from it's heart-shaped hole in it's chest. With a large, twitch-like motion, beams of black light homed in on the boy and girl. They cried out in pain as they got hit.

The duo then ran like crazy as the attack continued. The attack eventually subsided, though.

The monster repeated this process several times. And with each time, the duo became more and more confident that they could do this.

Eventually, the monster fell on the stage, dead.

The Darkside melted into the stage, making another stage like tar. The boy and girl were slowly getting covered by it.

"But don't be afraid."

They both cried out, but no sound came out. The tar was now up to their chests.

"Remember that you two hold the mightiest weapons of all."

It was a true nightmare. They tar was now up to their necks and was slowly creeping up their faces.
"And don't forget..."
"You two will be the ones to open the door."

And the spiky-haired boy and the brown-eyed girl saw nothing more.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2011, 12:19:29 am by touhouguy59 »


  • Neophyte
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2011, 07:46:35 pm »
Okay, as a big kingdom hearts and crossover fan, I was rather interested in seeing how you'll tackle this crossover and you are doing a pretty decent job so far.  I had to go back and check the game mechanics to see the significance of the choices your Sora made.  This might be my personal taste, but I think the fact that you write "boss fight with darkside begins" and "Darkside defeated" cheapens the mood to me.

I'm curious how you are going to interweave Kingdom Hearts mythology  to the Gensokyo universe.  I eagerly await your updates.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2011, 01:36:05 am »
Chapter 2: Destiny Islands, Part 1

The sun was shining brightly upon the sand-covered island.

Destiny Islands was a peaceful, beautiful set of tropical islands with one main island where most of the people resided. There was barely any crime at all. People there almost always had good relationships. And probably what the islands were most famous for were the Papou fruits. They were delicious and often were used in several recipes.

But the island we currently were focused on was a particularly small island with a large wooden playground. But only a few kids on the main island knew about it. Their names: Sora, Kairi, Riku, Reimu, Marisa, Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie.

The brown haired boy opened up his crystal blue eyes after taking a nap on the warm sand of the beach. He sat up to look at the ocean. He then yawned and laid back down onto the sand.

He jumped right back up, however, seeing one of his best friends, exclaiming, “WOAH!”.

The girl had red hair and crystal blue eyes. She had on a white and black tank top, a pair of pink shorts, a pair of purple shoes, and a yellow bracelet on each arm.

She giggled at the boy’s antics.

“Give me a break, Kairi.” the boy said.

Kairi put her hands behind her back and said, “Sora, you lazy bum. I knew I would find you snoozing down here.”

“No! This huge black THING swallowed me up! I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t-OW!” Sora exclaimed as Kairi slapped him.

“Are you still dreaming?” Kairi smirked.

“It wasn’t a dream!” Sora protested, but then he started to have second thoughts, “Or was it? What was that place?...So bizarre. There was me, and there was also...”

“Yeah, sure.” Kairi giggled at Sora’s strange dreams.

As Kairi started walking towards the water, Sora asked for what must have been the thousandth time, “Hey, Kairi, what was your hometown like? You know, where you grew up?”

“I already told you before. I don’t remember.” Kairi said with a bit of uncertainty in her voice.

“Nothing at all?” Sora asked.


“Do you ever want to go back?”

“Well...I’m happy here.” Kairi said, this time with a bit more confidence in her voice.

“Really?” Sora asked, a little disappointed.

“But you know, I wouldn’t mind going back to see it.” Kairi said with a bit of longing.

“Yeah, along with any other worlds out there!” Sora said excitingly, “I want to see ‘em all!”

Kairi turned to Sora and said, “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s finish the raft!”

“Hey, are you two forgetting someone?” a voice said from beside them.

When Sora and Kairi looked to the left of them, they saw a girl and a boy. Both were carrying a log in one of their arms.

The boy had short white hair with pale blue eyes. He had on a yellow and black shirt, a pair of blue pants, a pair of black gloves, and a pair of blue sneakers.

The girl had long blonde hair and golden eyes. She had on a black witch’s hat, a white dress with a black trim, a white apron, a black vest, and a pair of black boots.

“So, I guess we’re the only ones working on the raft, right, Marisa?” the boy asked the blonde girl.

“Sure looks like it, Riku.” Marisa smirked.

Riku laughed and walked over to Kairi, but not without tossing the log over to Sora, who toppled over because of the weight.

"And you're just as lazy as he is." Riku remarked, this time aimed at Kairi.

“So you noticed.” Kairi smiled, “Ok, we’ll finish together! I’ll race you!”

Riku sat down next to Sora. Marisa was wiping her hands on her apron.

“Huh?” Sora asked questioningly.

“Are you kidding?” Riku inquired.

“What, are you afraid of losing to a girl?” Marisa smirked.

"Ready, GO!" Kairi screamed.

Riku and Sora looked at each other. Then they leaped up and started running. Marisa quickly grabbed Kairi and sprinted off with her wrist in hand. Marisa quickly got into the lead, and when she did, she let go of Kairi.

The quadrupet of friends were in a heated race: Marisa in the lead, Sora and Riku neck-in-neck at the middle, and Kairi lagging behind.

The laughter of children, the call of the seagulls, the waves lapping against the shore, the wind rustling through the palm trees: all this was part of the symphony of the Destiny Islands. It was going to be a wonderful day.

The race was over. Marisa won, of course. Everyone on Destiny Islands knew that any competition involving Marisa always resulted in her winning.

Kairi was over near the cove, talking to Sora. Riku had left to take a well-deserved break. And Marisa left, looking for another girl who was supposed to be helping with the raft.

"So, can you gather the rest of the supplies?"
Kairi asked Sora.

"Fine." Sora said.

"Okay." Kairi counted off the items with her fingers,"We need two logs, one cloth, and one rope."

"Okay." Sora nodded.

He walked over to the main beach, and saw that the log Riku tossed at him was still there, lying on the sand. He picked it up and took it back to Kairi.

"Great work!" Kairi complimented Sora.

Sora blushed for a while, but ran off so that Kairi wouldn't see him.

It was no secret that Sora had a crush on Kairi. (Except maybe from Kairi herself.)

 He found another log, which he also took back to Kairi, and the rope. All that was left was the cloth.

Sora looked up to the main treehouse and got an idea. He walked up to the ladder which connected the treehouse to the ground. The ladder had bells and white zig-zag paper streamers attached to it.

He started to climb up it.

"REIMUUUUUU! Everyone but you is working on the raft! Come and help, you lazy ass!”

Sora knew that the foul-mouthed Marisa was up there, and when he reached the top of the ladder, she and another girl met him.

The second girl was the same girl from Sora’s dream.

The small building on the treetops was known to the children as ‘The Shrine.’ It was where Reimu, another good friend of Sora’s, spent her time when she wasn’t doing anything else. She had a lot of pretty things stuffed up there; including various religious artifacts that she said helped her with her rituals, though no one knew what these rituals were or what they did. She also had a lot of useless junk, as Marisa liked to be a packrat and used the shrine as her personal attic, to Reimu’s annoyance. Sora knew there had to be a cloth somewhere in there.

“Hey, guys.” he said, grinning.

“Well, if it isn’t our hard worker, ze?” Marisa asked, “See, Reimu? Even lazy Sora is doing his share of the work. Why don’t you get your butt and help too?”

But Reimu wasn’t listening. She was staring at Sora, a look of surprise on her face. Sora stared back, feeling awkward.

“Um, we need some cloth for the raft, Reimu. And I was wondering...” Sora stated.

Reimu nodded and stood up from the cushion she was sitting on. She turned and entered the shrine. A few moments later, she returned, carrying a large cloth.

“Hey, I guess I’ll be coming down with you, then, if it means Marisa will stop bugging me.” she smiled.

Sora grinned back. Marisa had a sly, cat-like grin on her face.

“Well, if you two lovebirds are finished~” she said, and hopped onto the railing.

“Marisa, don’t do that! You’ll fall!” Reimu shouted, worried.

“W-we’re not lovebirds!” Sora exclaimed.

Marisa grinned and said, “I’ll be sure to tell that to Kairi.”

And she jumped off the railing, fall to the ground. Just before she hit the ground, however, she did a somersault, landing safely-albeit a bit dirty-on the sand. She winked up to the two above her, and skipped off in Riku’s direction.

“Jeez.” Reimu sighed.

Sora looked at her curiously. Something about Reimu made him think...

Then it hit him.

“Reimu! I dreamt about you earlier.” Sora said suddenly.

Reimu stared at him. Sora instantly wished he worded that differently.

“No, that’s not what I meant. What I meant was-”

Reimu put a finger to his mouth to silence him.

“‘You are the ones who will open the door.’” Reimu said, “That’s what you mean, right?”

Sora looked at her in surprise.

“Y-you mean you had it too? It wasn’t just me?”

Reimu nodded.

“I don’t know what that dream was about...But I know it meant something. It was sending us a message-and it’s my job to figure it out.”

“Your...job?” Sora asked, confused.

Reimu raised an eyebrow.

“My job, stupid. What am I on these islands?”

“Oh, right,” Sora scratched the back of his head, “You’re our shrine maiden, aren’t you?”

Reimu’s father was a priest on the mainland, and apparently in her family, the children were in charge of keeping order or something like that. Reimu said it was just a fancy way of saying that she can beat up anyone whenever she felt like it, and that was basically the gist of it.

“HEEEEEEEEEY!” Reimu and Sora looked down. Marisa was back, and Riku not far behind her. “Come ooooooooon, you guys! Get back to wooooooooooork!”

Reimu and Sora smiled.

“Coming~” Reimu called, and they both climbed down.

When they reached the bottom, Reimu took the cloth from Sora.

“I’ll take this to Kairi. You take a break.”

“Wait, what about the dream?” Sora questioned.

“Please, leave it to me. I’ll tell you if I find out anything. After all, it could be nothing. Sometimes, a dream is just a dream.”

She smiled and walked over to where Kairi was.

Sora looked after her a bit, then turned to see Riku walking across a wooden bridge to a small island with a few palm trees on it. Sora ran around a small shack, jumped on the roof of it, and ran to catch him. Riku was sitting on the trunk of a larger, bent-over tree with Papou Fruit. He turned as Sora approached him.

"Did you get everything we need for the raft? I gave my stuff to Kairi."

Sora nodded. Riku smirked.

"Hey, Sora, how about a quick round? Grab your sword."

"Okay! You're on!" Sora said confidently.

"This one decides the champion!" Riku said, jumping up off of the trunk. He pulled out his sword, as did Sora.

"Ready or not!"

And he lunged. Sora quickly skirted out of the way. Riku jumped high in the air and landed right behind Sora. He quickly slashed him down.

As Sora stumbled to get up, Riku exclaimed, "Don't tell me you're giving up now!"

"Ha! As if!" Sora cried back, and quickly slashed back.

The two boys repeated this play-fight for a while, eventually catching the interest of a passing Marisa.

"Get 'im good, ze!" She cheered, waving her large black hat.

"Which one?" Asked Riku, blocking a hit from Sora.

"Whoever's winnin', ze!" Marisa called back, clapping and jumping.

"So that'll be me!" Sora exclaimed, managing to push Riku on his back.

Unfortunately, this seemed to be what Riku was waiting for, as he quickly rolled backwards, then lunged quite fast towards Sora and hit him so hard that the younger boy fell off the edge of the small islet.

As he resurfaced in the water, he cried out in frustration, "Man, now the score's 0 to 1!"

Marisa peered over the edge at him. "Hee hee hee. Have you ever considered taking actual lessons, ze?"

Sora fumed.

They worked on the raft all the rest of the day. But, soon, the other kids left and the gang of five were seen sitting on the bent-over Papou fruit tree. Reimu had brought drinks, but no one seemed to want them but herself.

No one said a word, until-

"So, Kairi's home is out there somewhere, right?" Sora broke the silence.

"Could be." Riku replied. "We'll never know by staying here."

"But how far could a raft take us?" Sora leaned over to look at him.

"Well, farther than a broom could, I can tell you that." Marisa said with a laugh.

Everyone else smiled.

"Who knows?" Riku replied to Sora. "If we have to, we'll think of something else. And no, I don't mean a broom."

Marisa had been about to say something, but closed her mouth at Riku's words. She giggled.

"So, suppose you get to another world." Kairi said. "What would you do there?".

"Well, I haven't really thought about it. It's just… I've always wondered why we're here on this island. If there are any other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one?"

Marisa nodded in agreement. "This place is nice and all, but I wanna see what else is out there! There's got to be more to life than playing on the beach all day, ze!"

Riku nodded as well. "And suppose there are other worlds… Then ours is just a little piece of something much greater. So, we could have just as easily ended up somewhere else, right?"

Sora turned over onto his back. "I don't know."

"Exactly." Riku and Marisa said in unison.

They looked at each other, shrugged, then both looked back to the sky.

"That's why we need to go out there and find out." Riku walked towards the edge of the islet. "Just sitting here won't change a thing. It's the same old stuff. So let's go."

"You've been thinking a lot lately, haven't you?" Kairi asked quietly.

"Thanks to you." He turned to her. "If you hadn't come here, I probably would've never thought of any of this."

"You're like, living proof there are other worlds out there!" exclaimed Marisa.

Riku nodded. "Kairi, thanks."

"You're welcome."

Four boys and girls stared into the purple sky, smiling. The fifth girl quietly sipped her tea, wondering if she was the only one who could sense a horrible storm coming.

Later, the five of them were walking along the wooden bridge. Marisa and Reimu had gone ahead, and Kairi was not far off from them. Sora and Riku were behind.

"Sora!" He turned, and caught a papou fruit thrown to him by Riku. "You wanted one, didn't you?" He was pointing at him.
"A paopu fruit…"

"If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined." Riku walked past Sora. "They'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what." He lifted his hand with a laugh. "C'mon, I know you want to try it."

"What are you talking—" But Riku was laughing, and Sora, red-faced, threw the fruit into the water below him. Riku began to run, and Sora chased after him, eventually catching up to the walking girls.


It was a bright, clear morning. The castle was filled with the broomsticks enchanted by Donald the Magician, doing the chores.

A humanoid duck was walking through the castle towards the Throne Room. He wore a blue wizard’s hat, and blue robes.

Just as he was about to enter the throne room-

“Donald! Master Donald!” a voice called out.

Donald turned to see a girl with long violet hair, deep violet eyes, and pale skin. She had on a pink nightgown with many ribbons attached to it. And on her head was a nightcap with a moon decoration on it.

“Ah, Patchouli. What are you doing here?” Donald quacked.

“I came to ask if I could greet the King this morning as well.” Patchouli said.

“Well, of course. You know the king always likes visitors.”

Donald cleared his throat and knocked on the huge doors. A smaller, hidden door popped out of the huge doors. Patchouli and Donald walked into it like it was completely normal.

They walked down the throne room on the long red carpet. On the end there was a golden throne.

“Good morning, your majesty.” Donald quacked.

“It’s nice to see you this morn-WHAT?!” Patchouli suddenly shouted.

The throne was completely empty! But a head popped out from behind it. It was a yellow dog’s head. And in his mouth was a green envelope.

“Pluto? Come here, boy.” Patchouli lured the dog over and gave the letter before she started playing with the dog.

Donald read over it. Once, twice, three times.

Two blinks.

Donald ran out spastically, quacking/screaming all the way out. Patchouli followed him, asking him what was wrong.

She followed him to one of the castle gardens, where a humanoid dog was snoozing. He had on silver armor. Next to him was another girl trying to wake him up.

She had white hair and pale green eyes. She had on a green dress, a sword in it’s hilt on her back, and a pair of black shoes. Floating next to her was what seemed to be a phantom. It looked a bit more like a sideways white candle flame, though.

Donald ran up to the dog and yelled, “Wake up, Goofy! We’ve got a big problem!”

Goofy just snored.

“Stand back, Youmu.” Donald ordered the girl in the green dress.

After doing so, Donald cast a spell that summoned a bolt of lightning from the sky, shocking Goofy into waking up. (Although he did scream a bit.)

Goofy rose, rubbed his eyes a bit, then noticed Donald, Patchouli, and Youmu there.

“Hey there, Donald. Miss Patchouli. Apprentice Youmu.” Goofy acknowledged the party in front of him.

“Goofy! We’ve got a big problem!” Donald then lowered his voice into a whisper, “But don’t tell anyone.”

Goofy blinked in surprise. “Queen Minnie?”

“Not even the queen!”

“Um, Master Donald…” Patchouli began, but Donald silenced her.

“Daisy?” Goofy questioned.

“NOOOO! It’s top secret.”

“Master-“ Patchouli began again, but was silenced again by a hand on her shoulder and a smile.

“G’morning, ladies.” Goofy bowed as best he could while he was sitting down.

Donald turned to see a mouse and a duck in pink and violet dresses, respectively. The mouse had a crown on her head, and had her arm on Patchouli’s shoulder. The duck put her hands on her hips, looking at Donald impatiently. He laughed nervously.

“I tried to tell you…” Patchouli said weakly.

EDIT: Oh, by the way, I'm not just going to be doing Kingdom Hearts with the Touhou Characters. I'm also going to be doing all the other Kingdom Hearts games as well! They're all going to tie together, very much like a remake of Kingdom Hearts. And here are the titles for all of them!

Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
Chain of Memories: Story of an Eastern Wonderland
Kingdom Hearts II: Phantasmagoria of a Dim Dream
358/2 Days: Lotus Land Story
Birth by Sleep: Mystic Square
Coded: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil
Dream Drop Distance: Perfect Cherry Blossom

Well, I hope that you like my plans!
« Last Edit: October 02, 2011, 03:40:48 pm by touhouguy59 »


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2011, 04:12:58 am »
Chapter 3: Destiny Islands, Part 2

Sora had met up with Marisa once he got to the island.

You see, all of the kids that went to the island lived on the main island. (Except maybe Marisa, who was on bad terms with her adoptive parents. Most of the kids thought she had a secret hiding place where she lived on their playground.)

“Took you long enough, ze!” Marisa exclaimed at Sora.

“Sorry I’m late.” Sora apologized.

“Well, I could use a little help gathering mushrooms as supplies. Can you help me?”

Sora thought about it for a moment then nodded.

“Great! Come on, I’ve already searched the rest of the island, so all that’s left is the Secret Place.” Marisa said as she grabbed Sora’s hand.

The Secret Place is what the kids referred to the long cave near the waterfall on their island. The Secret Place was a long tunnel that led to the cave that was lit up by a hole in the ceiling. But the strangest part about it was a large, wooden door in the wall of the cave. The kids had tried to open it many times, but so far it was stuck shut.

Marisa and Sora had gathered and apronful of mushrooms at the Secret Place when Sora noticed something.

“Hey, Sora, I’m heading back to deliver this to Kairi.” Marisa said, “Want to come with?”

“One sec, I’ll catch up with you.” Sora said.

Marisa shrugged at left Sora alone in the Secret Place.

Sora got on his knees and stared at a small carving etched into the wall. It was of two kid’s faces.

Sora remembered when he first made this picture.

A young Kairi and a young Sora were etching each other’s likenesses on the walls of the Secret Place. While Kairi’s drawing of Sora was quite detailed, Sora’s drawing of Kairi was a little sloppy. They looked at each other and grinned.

Sora remembered that memory very fondly. Then, he had an idea.

He picked up a nearby rock and started etching into the wall, making a new part of the picture. After he was done, he stepped back to view his handiwork.

Suddenly, he felt an odd presence behind him. He quickly stood up and looked behind him, but saw nothing.

“W-who’s there?” he questioned.

“I’ve come to see the door to this world.” came the deep-voiced male reply.


“This world has been connected.” came another voice with a slight feminine tint to it.

“Wh-what are you talking about? Sora was thoroughly confused. Who were these guys? What were they talking about?

“Tied to the darkness...soon to be completely eclipsed.” the first voice paid no attention to Sora’s questions.

With this, Sora began feeling sick to his stomach all of the sudden, for no reason. He decided that these voices-whoever they were-were people he didn’t want to be near to.

“Well, whoever you guys are, stop freaking me out like this! Huh?” Then Sora saw them.

In the exact corner he was staring at, there stood a brown-cloaked figure and a shorter purple-cloaked figure.

“Wh-where did you guys come from?” he asked them.

“You do not yet know what lies beyond the door.” the shorter figure stated with the female voice.

Sora’s eyes widened.

“So you two are from another world!” he exclaimed.

“There is so very much to learn.” the taller figure said with the male voice.

“You understand so little.” the shorter figure said.

“Oh, yeah?! Well, you’ll see!” Sora challenged them, “I’m going to go out there and learn what’s out there!”

“A meaningless effort.” the taller figure stated simply.

“One who knows nothing can understand nothing.” said the shorter figure.

Sora was about to reply, but then he heard it. A sound that could only be described as an ominous wind was coming from behind the wooden door. Sora stared at it, mezmerized.

He looked back to the figures-but they were gone.

‘What was that all about?’ Sora wondered to himself.

A short while later, he had made his way back to the raft, where Kairi, Marisa, and Reimu were standing, discussing things Sora really didn't care about.

Kairi saw him and smiled. "The raft's almost ready! All we have to do now is load it with food. Marisa says you've already gotten us some mushrooms. Thanks!"

Sora smiled.

Kairi looked around. "Hey, have you guys seen Riku?"

Reimu shook her head. Sora shrugged.

"I think he's over there." Marisa pointed over at the door to the beach.

"Sora, would you…?" Kairi began to ask.

"Yeah, sure." Sora smiled, and ran to meet Riku.

Eventually, he found him standing near the door, looking in the direction of the girls. He turned to Sora,

"Hey, Sora. Our raft still needs a name. Let's see… How about 'Highwind'? What would you call it?"

“How about ‘Hikari’?” Sora said.

"Hey, how 'bout… Let's do it!" Riku exclaimed.

"You guys at it again?" Sora and Riku turned to see the girls standing on the bridge, looking at them.

"What are we doin', naming the raft?" Marisa asked. "I wanna name it 'Kourindou'!"

"That's stupid." Reimu replied. "Why don't we call it 'Makai'?"

Sora grinned. "Why don't you join the race? Whoever wins, gets to name the raft!"

The two girls nodded in agreement. Marisa smirked, sure she would win. After all, she had never lost a competition before.

"All right, I'll be the judge." Kairi said, walking with the other two towards the boys. "The usual rules apply: Take any route you want… First one to tag the star tree and make it back here wins!"

The four of them nodded, getting into starting positions. Marisa was telling Reimu about how she was going to grind her into the dust, while Reimu was completely ignoring her.

Sora spoke to Riku. "If I win, I'm captain! And if you win…"

"I get to share the paopu with Kairi." Riku cut him off.


"Deal? The winner gets to share a paopu with Kairi. This only counts for you and me, though. It'd be weird if Marisa or Reimu did it."

Sora's face went bright red. "Wha… Wait a minute…"

"Okay. On my count:" Kairi called, not hearing their conversation. "3… 2… 1… Go!"

The four of them took off. Marisa took the lead, of course, but in a burst of speed, Riku overtook her. Sora followed close behind them, while Reimu was jogging leisurely behind him. They jumped over the gaps in the bridge, but unfortunately for Marisa, Riku nudged her onto the decaying plank, and she fell down into the water.

"You son of a-" She yelled, but Riku just laughed and kept running.

Sora had caught up to Riku now. The two of them jumped down a ledge, and ran across the sand. Riku and Sora looked back to see if the girls had caught up, but Reimu was nowhere to be seen, and Marisa was far behind, grumbling as she sprinted to catch up.

Riku and Sora began to run up a hill to the star-tree, and both gasped as they saw Reimu suddenly in front of them; she had taken the time to climb up a lookout tower and used a zip-line to soar right over their heads.

She tapped the tree and it glowed, turned to the boys, and smiled innocently. She then began jumping on the treetops as if she were floating on air.

Both Riku and Sora touched the tree at the same time, and began hopping on the trees after Reimu. Looking down at the beach, Sora saw Marisa charging up the hill.

'Jeez, she sure can run.' He thought, then quickly panicked as he realized Riku was a tree ahead of him.

The three of them ran across the trees, jumped down, jumped up, then reached the bridge again. Sora heard Marisa right behind him, and did a massive sprint. Unfortunately, Riku had the same idea; he passed right by Reimu and reached Kairi first. Reimu came next, followed by Sora, and finally Marisa. She was red faced and glaring at Riku, who shrugged with a smirk.

The four of them were panting heavily, and Sora bent over in grief. "Man, now the score's 0 to 2!"

The others laughed.

"All right, we're naming the raft Highwind." Riku said with a look of triumph on his face.

Sora glared at him as well.

When the race was finished, and the girls had gone back to the raft, Sora went up to Riku.

"Hey…" He started.

"What's that?" Riku turned to him.

He saw Sora's face, and smiled mischievously.

"Oh, the paopu thing? It was just a joke." He began to laugh, "You should have seen your face."

Sora glared once again.

He left to go back to the girls and the raft. Kairi told him to find a seagull egg, coconuts, fish, and drinking water. After a little more time running around the island, he met up with Reimu entering the cove.

"Good racing." She said.

"Yeah, right. I lost…" He replied, kicking the ground. Reimu laughed.

"At least you didn't finish last. Marisa's so angry that Riku pushed her- I think she's seriously thinking of getting him back. With interest." Sora grinned.

"Glad I didn't win, then."

The two of them laughed together, then stopped. Sora stretched his arms.

"Well, I gotta get this stuff to Kairi. Good thing I collected the mushrooms earlier, or I'd be stuck doing it with moody Maris-" He stopped mid-sentence.

He had just remembered.

"What's up?" Reimu asked.

"Reimu. Something really weird happened while I was in the Secret Place." Sora crossed his arms.

"Hm? Like, what?" Reimu cocked her head to the side in wonder.

When he had finished telling her what happened, Reimu had crossed her arms. She was staring at him intently.

"And you have no idea who-or what-those people were?" she asked.

"Not a clue. Why were they making fun of me? What did they mean, 'this world is connected'? Are they really from another world?" Sora wondered.

Reimu shook her head.

"I don't know. But…" She looked at the horizon, at the calm, blue sea. "…The sky is clear… But that's a farce. A storm is coming."

"What?" Sora asked, confused.

Reimu looked at him, her face grave.

"Sora. Last night, I was doing my shrine maiden duties, and during that time, I tried to figure out what was up with our dreams." She said.

"Yeah? And? Did you find any answers?" Sora looked hopeful, but his face faded away when he saw Reimu's grim look.

"All I could see… was a dark cloud. And not clouds, mind you. This was just one cloud. It was blackish-purple, and… and it scared me. It really did. I think…" She looked back at the horizon. "Something… is going to happen. Soon. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. But Sora, no matter when or what happens…" And she looked at him with the most serious expression he had ever seen her make. "Promise… you won't lose sight of what's important. Okay?"

Sora stared into her eyes. They had always been a bright brown, but now, they were brighter than he had ever seen them before. Slowly, he nodded.

"I hate to ruin this nice day." She sighed. "Let's… Why don't we go back and get that stuff to Kairi? If anything bad happens, we'll need the raft to be okay, right?"

Sora nodded with a small smile. He was still worried about what Reimu had said, but she was right; the raft was a priority. The two of them went in the direction Kairi and the raft was in, and eventually caught up with her. She was messing with something in her hands.

"What's that?" Sora asked, leaning in for a closer look.

"This? I'm making a necklace of thalassa shells. In the old days, sailors always wore thalassa shells. They were supposed to ensure a safe voyage." She looked up at the two of them, and smiled. "You guys have the supplies?"

"Yep." Sora said, beaming.

Reimu handed them to her.

“Great work, you two!” Kairi exclaimed.

Once again, it was sunset. However, only three of the five friends were sitting on the dock. Kairi, Sora, and Reimu sat with their legs over the edge of the dock. They gazed at the scene before them.

"Hey, where're Riku and Marisa?" Sora asked.

"They went home together. I think they were gonna do some last minute training or something, before we leave." Reimu replied.

Kairi was silent, then-

"You know, Riku and Marisa… they've changed."

"What do you mean?" Sora asked.


"You okay?" Sora turned to her.

Kairi was silent a bit more, then looked eagerly at the two on either side of her.

"Sora, Reimu, let's take the raft and go— just the three of us!"

"Huh?" Sora said, confused.

"Kairi, what do you-" Reimu started, but Kairi interrupted her with a giggle.

Just kidding." She laughed.

Sora and Reimu both looked at her, bemused expressions on their faces.

"What's gotten into you?" Reimu asked.

"You're the one who's changed, Kairi." Sora said, laughing.

"Maybe…" Kairi said, sounding a bit sad. Reimu put her hand on her shoulder, and Kairi smiled at her. "You know, I was a little afraid at first, but now I'm ready." She beamed
at the two of them. "No matter where I go or what I see, I know I can always come back here. Right?"

She turned to Sora, then Reimu.

"Yeah, of course!" Sora replied.

“You’re always safe her, Kairi.” Reimu said softly.

"That's good." Kairi nodded.

More silence and staring at the sunset.

"Sora. Reimu. Don't ever change." Kairi finally said.

"Huh?" Sora said, but Kairi rose.

She stood between the sitting Sora and Reimu, a soft smile on her face.

"I just can't wait. Once we set sail, it'll be great." She said.


Sorry to rush off without sayin' goodbye, but there's big trouble brewin'.

Not sure why, but the stars have been blinkin' out, one by one. And that means disaster can't be far behind. I hate to leave you all but I've gotta go check into it.

There's someone with a ‘key’-the key to our survival.

And there’s also a ‘seal’-a seal that will ensure your journey’s victory.

So I need you, Goofy, Patchouli, and Youmu to find them, and stick with them. Got it?

We need them or we're doomed! So go to Traverse Town and find Leon. He'll point you in the right direction.


Would ya apologize to Minnie for me?

Thanks, pal!

-The King

Donald, Goofy, Queen Minnie, Daisy, Patchouli, and Youmu were in the castle library, reading the letter Donald and Patchouli had found earlier.

“Oh, dear! What could this mean?!” Daisy exclaimed, her voice evident with worry.

“It means…we’ll just have to trust the king.” Minnie said wisely.

"Gawrsh, I sure hope he's all right." Goofy stated, bringing his hand to his mouth.

“I’m sure he’s just fine.” Youmu said to her mentor.

"Your Highness," said Donald with a salute, "Don't worry. We'll find the king and this 'key'."

“And this ‘seal’ of course.” Patchouli saluted as well.

"Thank you, all of you." Minnie said.

"Daisy, can you take care of—" Donald started, but Daisy cut him off.

"Of course. You be careful, now, both of you." She said.

"Oh, and to chronicle your travels, he will accompany you." She raised her hand to a desk next to them.

Donald blinked and leaned in for a better look. A small cricket was hopping up and down on the corner of the desk.

"Over here!" He shouted. "Cricket's the name. Jiminy Cricket, at your service." He made a little bow.

"We hope for your safe return." Queen Minnie said. "Please help the king."

Donald saluted. He looked from the queen, to Daisy, and finally to Goofy, all standing before him, wishing him their best. Goofy gave him a salute.

"You're coming too!" Donald shouted angrily, grabbed Goofy's arm, and dragged him off, their students quickly following them.

"Gawrsh, Jiminy, your world disappeared, too?" Goofy asked, following Donald down the dark stairway.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Youmu said.

"It was terrible. We were scattered." Jiminy replied, sitting on Goofy's knight helmet. "And as far as I can see, I'm the only one who made it to this castle."

"Goofy?" Donald asked, looking back at him.

"You remember what the queen said?” Patchouli inquired.

"Oh, right… I gotcha. While we're in other worlds, we can't let on where we're from. We gotta protect the world border."

" 'Order'." Donald corrected him.

"Right. World order." Goofy laughed.

Donald sighed.

The three of them reached the end of a long, dark hallway, where a crown-shaped door was.

"I guess we'll need new duds when we get there." Goofy thought aloud.

They were now in a large room with gears and machinery everywhere. They walked down some stairs and found themselves face-to-face with a large, red and yellow rocket ship. Donald walked over to a yellow pipe.

"Hello up there? Donald Duck to launch crew! Anytime you're ready." He yelled into it.

The pipe extended into a small control platform, where two tiny chipmunks with work gloves and aprons listened to the command. One of the chipmunks made a salute, and the other one scurried to pull a lever. Instantly, a large, robotic hand picked up Goofy, Youmu, Donald, and Patchouli by their bottoms, and dropped them into the ship. Unseen by anyone, the dog Pluto had also jumped in. A large mouse head-shaped gate opened. Queen Minnie and Daisy walked under the control platform, looking up at them.

Donald looked down and Daisy and gave her a thumbs up and a wink.

The engines roared into life, fire erupting from them.

Donald pointed at the open gate and yelled, "Blast off!"

Suddenly, a large red arrow appeared in the middle of the gate, and the ground beneath the ship opened, making the ship drop through it. Donald and Goofy yelled with surprise. Eventually, they dropped right out of their world, speeding off into the starry sky of space.
« Last Edit: October 02, 2011, 03:41:02 pm by touhouguy59 »


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2011, 11:50:41 pm »
Chapter 4: Night of Fate

It was the dead of night. Everyone had gone home with great expectations for tomorrow. But two people could not sleep. Marisa and Riku stared out to the island they would soon leave. They could feel it, the cold winds told them that something terrible was about to happen. Without even turning their backs, they could sense the brown and violet cloaked figures behind them.

“The time has come.” the purple-cloaked figure said.

“All of your dreams and ambitions will be realized from beyond the door.” the brown-cloaked figure said.

Riku and Marisa’s thoughts went to this ‘door’. They turned around to ask the figures behind them what they meant, but they were gone.

“Do you think they meant the door in the Secret Place?” Riku asked Marisa.

“Only one way to find out.” she said.

Riku and Marisa went to the docks and pushed off to the island.

Little did they know that they were being followed by Kairi.

Riku? Marisa? Where are they going?’ she thought to herself as she pushed off as well.

Meanwhile, Sora was laying on his bed, unable to sleep. He looked up to a small, wooden toy boat with two figurines in it that was hanging from the ceiling. Sora thought back from what Kairi said earlier.

I can’t wait. Once we set sail, it’ll be great.

A smile crept up on Sora’s face. His smile instantly disappeared after he noticed the dark storm cloud hanging over their island through his window.

“A storm?” Sora questioned.

Then, remembering what Reimu had told him earlier, he shouted, “Oh, no! The raft!”

Soon after, Sora’s mom could be heard calling to him.

“Sora! Time for dinner! Sora?” She walked into Sora’s room, only to find his window open.

Sora had snuck off to the island. He desperately paddled through the storm. The clouds, pitch black, would occasionally flash lightning, which were an ominous green.

When he finally arrived at the docks, he noticed three other boats there.

“Riku and Marisa...and Kairi’s!” he exclaimed.

Then he noticed a sinister violet and black ball over the island.

“What’s that?!” he exclaimed.

Then, he saw movement nearby. He saw two shadows, wait-they actually came out of the ground! They were the same creatures from his dream!

Terror in his heart, Sora gripped his wooden sword and charged the creatures. He slashed at the creature, only for it to bounce off.

"That's not going to work!" a voice called from a nearby platform.

Sora looked up and saw none other than Reimu. What was she doing here?

Suddenly, Reimu shot something at something behind Sora. It turned out to be a petrification seal that was aimed at another creature that was about to attack Sora from behind.

Reimu leaped down, grabbed his hand, and started to run off with him.

"We have to move!" she yelled, "That seal will only last ten seconds!"

Then, just as Reimu said, the seal disappeared and the petrified creature pursued after them once again.

"Reimu?! What's going on?!" Sora exclaimed.

"I had my dad drop me off earlier. I saw it. I-I saw it happen." she explained.

"What happen?" Sora questioned.

"The storm. The storm from my vision. It came. And then this happened. The creatures came. I tried all sorts of stuff on them. Swords, Staffs, Selphie's jump rope she lent me-none of them work! And then I saw Riku and Marisa-" Reimu let out a gasp.

"They could he in danger! We have to find them!" she exclaimed.

Sora nodded. They looked all over the island, dodging the creatures left and right, but it took longer than it should have. It was if someone-or something-was trying to stall them.

Then, finally, Sora noticed two figures on the small island on the other side of the bridge, one with a particularly large hat-

"There!" he pointed to them.

Reimu nodded. They ran towards the island.

Marisa and Riku had their backs turned to them.

When they got there, Sora yelled, "Where's Kairi?! I thought she was with you!"

Riku didn't answer for a few seconds, and then he said, "The door has opened."

"What?!" Reimu exclaimed.

"The door has opened, you two!" Marisa exclaimed as she turned around.

"All our dreams and ambitions will now be realized!" Riku said.

"Now we can go to the outside world!" Marisa yelled.

"What are you talking about?!" Sora exclaimed.

"We have to find Kairi!" Reimu shouted.

"Kairi's coming with us!" Riku exclaimed.

Reimu tensed. She saw something not right at all in Riku’s eyes. She had never seen his eyes darker before.

“Once we step through, we might not be able to come back.” Riku lifted his head up to the huge black ball above him.

“We many never see our parents again. There’s no turning back, ze!” Marisa lifted her head up to the ball above her as well.

Riku nodded and said, “But this may be our only chance. We can’t let fear stop us.”

Then, in unison, they proclaimed, “We’re not afraid of the darkness!”

Marisa and Riku held out their hands to Reimu and Sora, beckoning them to join them. And for a while, Reimu and Sora were tempted to do so. But then they remembered what the voice said to them in their dream.

Keep your light burning strong.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t come with you.” Sora said.

Riku and Marisa were genuinely disappointed in their friends.

Suddenly, tendrils of darkness erupted from under Riku and Marisa. They slowly crawled up Riku and Marisa, covering their legs and torsos. Sora and Reimu rushed to grab their friends’ hands, only for the same tendrils to cover them as well. They reached to grab Riku and Marisa’s hands.

Just as they were about to grab them, the tendrils covered their faces and all they could see was darkness.

Suddenly, a light broke through the darkness.
It pushed the darkness away and Sora and Reimu found themselves back on their storm-covered island.

They looked to see if Riku and Marisa had escaped as well, but they were disappointed to see that their friends were gone.

But as their eyes went down to their hands, they stared in awe as they marveled the new weapons in their hands.

What rested in Reimu's right hand was a rod with paper seals attached to the end. In her left hand, the petrification seals that Reimu had been using to keep the creatures at bay were now replaced with larger paper cards with strange writing on them.

In Sora’s hand was now a sword, but it looked like a key at the same time. It was silver with a golden hilt. And on the end, it had a keychain with a silver crown.

Then, a familiar voice played in Sora and Reimu’s minds.



Then, the creatures apparently decided that now was the time to attack. Sora was just about to run, but Reimu held him back.

“I want to try something.” she said.

Her cards disappeared in a flash of light and she rushed at the creatures. Reimu bashed the creatures with her new weapon, which actually seemed to have an effect on them! These new weapons could actually hurt the creatures!

Sora looked at his new sword-no Keyblade-and started to slash the creatures.

Then Sora and Reimu decided to look for Kairi, and look they did, slashing and bashing creatures all along the way.

Suddenly, Reimu noticed an ornate, white door where the entrance to the Secret Place should’ve been.

“There!” Reimu pointed it out to Sora.

He nodded and followed Reimu to the door. They opened it and went inside.

They rushed through, feeling their way around. Eventually, they got to the usually brightly lit cave. There stood Kairi, her back turned towards them.

"Kairi!" Sora and Reimu called out in unison.

Kairi turned around. She had a glazed expression in her eyes. She no longer looked like her cheerful self.

"" she said dreamily.

She held her hand out to them.

Suddenly, the wooden door behind her burst open and a dark wind rushed in. Kairi was blown towards Reimu and Sora, who held out their arms to catch her. But when she collided with them, she vanished!

Then, Sora and Reimu could no longer resist the dark wind and were blown out of the cave.

Soon after, they found themselves on part of their island. Literally. The land they were on was slowly getting sucked up by the ball of darkness above them.

Then, they turned around and saw the giant black creature from their dream! It looked menacingly at them, hate evident in it’s yellow eyes.

Sora began to take a step back, but Reimu put a hand on his shoulder.

“It-it’s just a dream.” she said uncertainly.

Sora hesitated, then nodded his head.

Then, courage brimming in their hearts, they rushed at the creature, Gohei and Keyblade outstreched.

The huge creature decided to attack. It’s attack patterns were similar to those in Sora and Reimu’s dream, but soon enough it showed a new attack.

It brought it’s hand down and a large orb of darkness appeared in it. It then brought it’s hand up high and the orb disappeared in a flash.

At first, Sora and Reimu paid no attention to it and kept hacking at the hands. But then, smaller orbs of darkness began falling from the sky, all aiming for Sora and Reimu.

Reimu tried to sidestep one, but she did it too late and it her, causing her to fall to the ground.

Sora rushed to her side and asked, “Are you okay?!”

She groaned and picked herself up.

“I’m fine.” She said.

Then, with a glare at the monster, she screamed, “All right, that’s it! NO MORE SHRINE MAIDEN OF PARADISE!”

She recalled her Gohei and summoned one of her cards.

“Reimu! What are you doing?!” Sora exclaimed.

She looked at Sora and smiled. “I seem to be trying a lot of things tonight, aren’t I?”

Then she held up the card up as high as she could and yelled, “Spirit Sign ‘Fantasy Seal’!”

Suddenly, the card disappeared and multicolored orbs of light appeared around Reimu and they threw themselves at the humongous monster, one by one, causing massive damage. The orbs just kept on appearing and hurling themselves at the giant, causing even more damage.

Sora stared in awe of what his friend could do.

In a desperate attempt, the giant monster did the attack where it shot out lasers from it’s chest. This broke Reimu’s concentration, which caused the orbs to disappear. Just as the lasers were about to hit her, Sora rushed in and blocked the lasers with his Keyblade, sending them back to their owner.

The explosion that followed was HUGE.

Luckily, Reimu summoned another one of her cards and screamed, “Cautionary Border!”

The glowing shield summoned surrounded Sora and Reimu, protecting them from the blast. When the explosion subsided, the shield disappeared.

But, to Sora and Reimu’s surprise, the monster was still standing, just frozen. Then, it was sucked up by the ball of darkness.

Sora quickly grabbed onto a piece of debris still attached to the island, and Reimu grabbed onto his knees. Still, this didn’t stop it from sucking them up into the void. And then Reimu and Sora could see no more.
« Last Edit: October 02, 2011, 03:41:15 pm by touhouguy59 »


  • Knight of the Accursed Order
  • Boredom is contagious.
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2011, 12:50:12 am »
Very well written.  I look forward to the rest!  I've also got something of a theory, but I'll keep it to myself.
[15:30] * Wolfsbane706 pitfalls Roukan.
[15:30] <Roukan> WHAT WHY
[15:31] * Roukan aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*splat*
[15:32] <Wolfsbane706> That's the funniest reaction I've seen yet.
[15:34] * Roukan thumbs-up from beyond the grave.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2011, 01:48:14 am »
Chapter 5: Trouble in Traverse Town, Part 1

Donald, Goofy, Patchouli, and Youmu were walking through an empty street. Donald and Goofy were now in less noticeable attire.

Suddenly, Patchouli looked up. Donald turned around to berate her, but his eyes followed Patchouli’s finger which pointed up.

“Look! A star’s going out!” she cried.

And, sure enough, a star blinked out of existence in the night sky. Little did they know, that particular star was none other than Destiny Islands.

Patchouli turned to her mentor with a worried expression.

“Come on, let’s hurry.” Donald quacked.

Patchouli nodded. And Patchouli, Youmu, Goofy, Donald, and Pluto walked up some steps. The town they were in was dark, yet brightly lit by neon that was all over the place. Nearby, a sign with the words, “TRAVERSE TOWN”, were lit and the words were in the shape of arrows.

Donald was walking with his arms crossed, evidently annoyed that their search hadn’t gone well.

“Where’s that key and seal?” he wondered aloud.

“Hey, we may need to go find Leon.” Youmu said, with her ghost half, Myon, nodding beside her.

The quartet turned right at the Accessory Shop, but Pluto turned left, his nose glued to the ground.

Goofy saw him walk the other way, and said, “Hey, Donald, I betcha that-”

But Donald cut him off, “Aw, what do you know, you big palooka?”

He kept on walking with his apprentice and Goofy’s.

Goofy looked after Pluto and asked himself, “What do I know?”

“Hmm...Come on, Pluto!” he called after the dog and followed Donald.

But Pluto wasn’t listening. He was hot on the trail of something, something he knew was very, very important. He didn’t know why it was important-after all, why does a dog care about problems that concern him?-But the smell of this new discovery was one he knew he ought to figure out.

He followed the smell down an alley, and eventually found some barrels and crates, where he found the source of the smell.

Sora found himself being licked on the cheek. Dazed, he looked from left to right, eventually seeing the dog in front of him.

“What a dream...” He started to doze off again, but Pluto would have none of that.

It pounced on him, waking him fully.

“This isn’t a dream!” Sora cried.

He stood up and looked around.

‘Where am I?’ he thought to himself.

He then crouched down to the dog’s height and asked it, “Do you know where we are?”

It barked, turned, and ran away.

“Hey...” Sora then started to follow after the dog.

Rinnosuke Morichika was an honest, hard-working man. He was a little gullible and easy to manipulate, but no one in Traverse Town took advantage of that.

He had silver hair and golden eyes. He was currently wearing his glasses, a blue shirt, a pair of black pants, and a pair of white boots.

When he woke up to find himself in another world, the first thing he did was make sure everyone was alright. To help everyone, he opened up a shop that sold necessities and things from other worlds that showed up. Together with three duck brothers whose world had NOT been destroyed, but rather they had been torn from it for some reason, had worked to make everyone’s already stressed lives a little easier.

He knew everyone by name, so you could imagine his great surprise when he found a passed out girl that he had never seen before in an alleyway that he was walking through.

“Um, miss. Young miss?” he gently shook her shoulder, “Can you hear me? All you alright?”

The girl stirred. With a sigh of relief, he propped up the girl up against a wall. He kept on tapping the same shoulder.

“Please, miss. Are you hurt? If can hear me, nod your head.” he pleaded.

Slowly, Reimu opened her eyes and nodded slightly. She blinked rapidly, lifting her head to stare at the person in front of her with the golden eyes. Those eyes looked a lot like...

“” she asked slowly.

She blinked, shook her head very fast, rubbed her eyes, and then looked at the person again.

“Oh, you’re just a man.” she said.

Then, a heartbeat later, she exclaimed, “H-huh?!”

Rinnosuke laughed. “That’s normally how people react when they get here the first time...Not like there’s a second time.” He laughed at his own joke.

Reimu stared at him. Instead of slowly trying to figure out what was going on, she decided to be brief with this man.

“You. Who are you? Where am I? How did I get here? WHEN did I get here? Where are my islands? Where’s Sora? And what is so funny?” she hurled at him.

Rinnosuke stopped laughing at this onslaught of questions. This girl wasn’t fooling around; she looked as if she could actually HURT him.

“W-well, my name is Rinnosuke Morichika, and I own a shop in this town. This place is called Traverse Town. It’s a place where the lucky people go when their worlds are destroyed. We’re not TOO sure how people get here, they just do. I don’t know. I’m afraid your...islands? Your islands have been consumed by darkness, along with the rest of your world. I’m afraid I don’t know where your ‘Sora’ is.” he explained.

Reimu stared at him trying to process this information. “ world...has been...This can’t be happening.” She sat back down.

Rinnosuke nodded with a sad smile. “I’d love to tell you this is all a hoax...but it’s real. The entire town is filled with people like you; people who were lucky enough to escape their worlds’ destructions. I’d say more, but I always make people cry, so...” Rinnosuke smiled awkwardly.

Reimu smiled too, but it was obvious to Rinnosuke that it was fake.

“I...” Her fake smile was short-lived. She stared at her shoes. “ wasn’t a dream, then. Sora and I...” She felt tears welling up in her eyes. “That huge monster...Riku...Marisa...Kairi...” The tears fell from her cheeks. “Th-that weird ‘Keyblade’ and ‘Gohei’ thing...The c-cards...” she held out her hand and, with a flash of light, three of the odd cards appeared.

Each of the cards had a different type of odd writing on them. Rinnosuke stared at them in interest.

Reimu willed the cards away and hugged her knees. “But now...everyone’s gone...I...I...”

And she buried her head in her knees, and let herself cry. Rinnosuke was at a loss as to what to do.

“P-please, miss...” He tried to pat her on the back.

She sniffled loudly, and then lifted her head and rubbed her eyes.

“R-Reimu.” she said.


“My-my name is Reimu.” She swallowed and wiped away her remaining tears.

Her eyes were a bit red, but that was quickly fading away. She stood and Rinnosuke stood as well.

Determined to make this girl a little less pitiful, Rinnosuke put on a nice smile.

“Well, nice to meet you Miss Reimu!” He held out his hand. Reimu shook it.

“Please, don’t be sad anymore. I’m sure if you look around, you might be able to find someone from your world.” he said.

At this, Reimu started to gain hope.

She nodded and smiled slowly.

Then she said, “Yes, you’re right. I mean, if I made it here, at least one of my friends made it too, right?”

Rinnosuke smiled and said, “Yeah.”

But, unbeknowest to Reimu, the smile was fake. It was meant to give her hope.

Rinnosuke knew that most of the time, when people who had lost their world looked for their friends or loved ones, they came back distraught.
« Last Edit: October 02, 2011, 03:41:29 pm by touhouguy59 »


  • Knight of the Accursed Order
  • Boredom is contagious.
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2011, 03:03:51 am »
Another nice chapter.  To be honest, I'd figured that Reimu would end up on a totally different world.  Looks to be I was proven wrong.
[15:30] * Wolfsbane706 pitfalls Roukan.
[15:30] <Roukan> WHAT WHY
[15:31] * Roukan aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*splat*
[15:32] <Wolfsbane706> That's the funniest reaction I've seen yet.
[15:34] * Roukan thumbs-up from beyond the grave.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2011, 12:08:28 pm »
Chapter 6: Trouble in Traverse Town, Part 2

Sora walked out of the alley. He stared at the buildings and lights all around him, wondering where he was and where the others were.

"This is totally weird…" He said to himself.

Then, the realization hit him. "I'm in another world!"

He looked around excitedly. Behind him, there was a building with a large sign saying "ACCESSORY SHOP". He went in, curious.

A lone man was standing behind the green counter.

He had blonde hair and sharp blue eyes. He had on a pair of goggles, a pair of baggy blue pants, a white tank top, and a pair of gray shoes. He had a toothpick in his mouth.
He turned as he heard the door open.

"Hey there, how can I help…" His large smile quickly disappeared into an annoyed look. "Aw, it's only a kid."

"I'm not a kid!" Sora said, angrily. "And the name's Sora!"   

"Okay, okay, simmer down." The man smirked. "So why the long face, Sora? You lost or somethin'?"

"No!" Sora stopped, and his expression turned sheepish. "Well, maybe. Where are we?"


"Traverse Town…" Sora said. The man had just finished explaining everything to him. "So, gramps, is this really another world?"

"Don't call me 'gramps'! The name's Cid!" Cid shouted angrily. He sighed. "Anyway… Not sure what you're talkin' about, but this sure ain't your island."

"Hmm… Guess I'd better start looking for Reimu and the others."

"Well, good luck with whatever you're doin'." Cid smiled. "If you ever run into trouble, come to me. I'll look out for you."

"Thanks, gr-Cid!" Sora smiled, then ran out of the store.

Unbeknowest to Sora, Cid took out a wrist communicator.

“I’ve found him.” He said.

Sora ran around a little bit, taking in the sights and talking to people who had lost their worlds. Eventually, he climbed some stairs and found himself in front of a large door with the sign "SECOND DISTRICT" next to it. Shrugging, he let himself in.

As soon as he entered the district, he was met with a loud scream. Alarmed, Sora looked around frantically, and saw a man running towards him. The man tripped and fell over, and a bright light erupted from his chest. Something bright and sparkly floated out from it, and went towards a dark sphere, which appeared the moment the thing had left the man's chest. With a sickening lurch in his stomach, Sora realized that the bright and sparkly thing was the man's heart. As it reached the sphere, it joined with it, and the sphere morphed into a humanoid figure with a helmet and glowing yellow orbs for eyes. Both the man's body and the figure disappeared.

Sora ran out to where the man had been. Instantly, he was surrounded by…

"It's those creatures from the island!" He shouted aloud, and he summoned the Keyblade.

He suddenly remembered that Reimu wasn't here with him. How was he going to fight without her help?

As it turned out, he fought pretty well, actually. As he finished the last monster off, he actually looked around eagerly to see the next one. He wanted to punish those awful things that took away his island and his friends. However, he saw no more things. Deciding that maybe he should go ask Cid for help, he turned around and went back into the First District.

Upon entering, he found more monsters staring back at him. He quickly went to work, destroying the creatures every time they dared get close.

Eventually, he got too tired to swing, and he had to resort to running away. He rushed down the steps, looking for Cid's shop, and quickly entered. He stood there a moment, catching his breath. He looked up, and realized that Cid wasn't there. Confused, he walked back out of the shop, still holding the Keyblade.

"They'll come at you out of nowhere." A voice said.

Sora turned quickly at the sound of the voice. "Who are you?"

"And they'll keep on coming at you, as long as you continue to wield the Keyblade." The man who was speaking pointed at the weapon in Sora's hand.

Sora stared at him, wary.

The man continued. "But why? Why would it choose a kid like you?" He put his hand up to his forehead.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Sora asked angrily.

"Never mind." The man walked towards him. "Now, let's see that Keyblade."

"What?" Sora said in surprise. "There's no way you're getting this!"

He dropped into his fighting stance.

The man was silent for a second, then sighed.

He pulled out a large sword- or was it an oversized gun? "All right, then have it your way."

Sora was the first to attack as he charged the man with his Keyblade held high. Sora brought the Keyblade down, but the man blocked it easily with his blade.

“Give up?” the man asked.

“Never!” Sora exclaimed.

“Very well then.” The man said.

The man then pushed Sora back with surprising strength. He then launched a fireball out from his blade which homed in on Sora. But Sora hit it back to the man, causing it to explode on him.

Sora smirked.

Suddenly, the man burst from the smoke. He would have hit Sora with his blade if it wasn’t for a certain girl dressed in red and white blocked the attack with her Gohei.

“Reimu?!” Sora exclaimed.

“No time, Sora! We have to beat this guy!” Reimu yelled.

Sora, though bewildered that his friend was here, nodded.

“So, the Gohei is here as well.” The man said.

“What’s it to you?!” Reimu exclaimed as she pushed harder on the man’s blade.

“Guess I’ll have to defeat you both.” The man said.

“Well, you’ll have to go through the power of teamwork first!” Sora exclaimed as he joined Reimu in pushing the man back.

Sora and Reimu, with their combined strength, hurled the man into a wall, knocking him out.

“Looks like we-“

Sora was unable to finish his sentence, for a small dart hit him in the back and caused him to crumble to the ground.

Reimu rushed over to her friend’s side, but then she too got hit by one of the darts and fainted as well.

Then, the man opened his eyes and picked himself up.

“Aw, you’re slipping, Leon.” A feminine voice said from behind him.

Leon turned his head and saw a female teenager there.

“I went easy on him, Yuffie.” Leon said, “Looks like things are worse than we thought. A lot worse.”
« Last Edit: October 02, 2011, 03:41:45 pm by touhouguy59 »


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2011, 09:16:22 pm »
Chapter 7: Trouble in Traverse Town, Part 3

Donald, Patchouli, Goofy, and Youmu were walking down a waterway in the Second District, STILL looking for the "Key" and "Seal."

"Gawrsh, it sure is spooky." Goofy said nervously.

"Aw, phooey, I'm not scared." At the exact moment Donald said that, a hand tapped on his shoulder.

In pure terror, Donald leaped into Goofy's arms, shivering and shaking in fright. In the meantime, Patchouli and Youmu drew their weapons they brought with them; for Patchouli, a gimore, a type of book that magicians use to cast spells, and for Youmu, a legendary sword called Roukanken.

"Excuse me, did the king send you?"

At this, Donald stopped shaking and got a good look at the woman before them. She had brown hair tied into a ribbon and chocolate eyes. She had on a pink tank top with a pink skirt and sandals.

Youmu and Patchouli, however, still remained wary.

"Yeah. Who wants to know?" Youmu asked.

"My name is Aerith. If you will follow me, I will gladly tell you what is going on." the woman then walked off towards a nearby hotel.

The quartet of world-travelers looked at each other, then followed the woman.

Sora and Reimu were laying on seperate beds, unconcious.

"Come on, you lazy bums, wake up." two familiar voices said.

Reimu and Sora got up, shaking their heads to clear their disorientation.

Then they looked around to see who had waken them up, they saw none other than Kairi and Marisa standing near their beds! They had their hands on their hips.

“You two okay?” ‘Kairi’ asked.

“Those things that attacked you were after the Keyblade and Gohei. But it’s your hearts they really want, because you wield the Keyblade and Gohei.” She then said.

“So, tell me about your world. How did you get here? When did you get here? How are you able to be the Keybearer and Shrine Maiden when when you’re only...what? Fourteen?” ‘Marisa’ asked.

Reimu frowned. This was NOT Marisa. Sora, however, didn’t seem to notice.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Kairi and Marisa.” Sora said with relief.

"Kairi? Marisa? Are they your girlfriends, Keybearer?" 'Marisa' asked.

"That's enough of the questions, Aya." 'Kairi' said.

In a flash of bright light, Kairi and Marisa were replaced by two teenagers.

One had black hair and had dark blue eyes. She had a metal sash on her head, a yellow scarf, a green tank top, a pair of orange fingerless gloves, a pair of yellow short shorts, and a pair of yellow boots.

The other had black hair as well, but had red eyes instead of blue. She had on a Tokin, a white shirt, a black skirt, and a pair of red shoes. She was holding a camera in her left hand.

The first teenager was staring into Sora’s face.

Then she turned and said, “I think you may have overdone it, Squall.”

When Sora peeked behind her shoulder, he saw the same guy that attacked him and Reimu.

“That’s Leon, Yuffie.” the man said.

Then Reimu noticed Sora's and her weapons on leaning on the wall.

“The Keyblade and Gohei...” she muttered.

“Yeah, we had to get it away from you to shake off those creatures. It turns out, that’s how they were tracking you.” Yuffie said.

“But it won’t last for long. Still...” Leon then picked up the Keyblade and Goehi, one in each hand, “...hard to believe that you two, of all people, are the chosen ones.”

Then, the Keyblade and Gohei disappeared in a flash of light and reappeared in Sora and Reimu’s hands.

“Well, I suppose beggars can’t be choosers.” Leon said.

“Why don’t you start making some sense?!” Sora glared at the man.

“Yeah, what’s going on here?!” Reimu exclaimed.

“Okay, so you know how there are other worlds besides your castle and this town, right?” Aerith asked the Disney Castle gang in the adjoining Red Room.

“Uh-huh.” Donald nodded.

“But they’re supposed to be a secret.” Goofy said as he covered his mouth with his gloved hands.

“They’ve been secret because they’ve never been connected. Until now. When the heartless came,” Aerith closed her eyes, “Everything changed.”

“The heartless?” Reimu repeated in the Green Room.

“The ones who attacked you, you remember?” Yuffie asked.

“Those without hearts.” Leon said.

“They steal the hearts of people and turn them into one of their own kind.” Yuffie explained, “They’re attracted to the darkness in people’s hearts.”

“And there is darkness within every heart.” Leon said.

“Now can I interview them?” Aya whined to Leon.

“Hey, have you heard of a guy named Ansem?” Yuffie asked, ignoring Aya.

"Ansem?" Goofy put his hand to his mouth in the Red Room.

"He was studying the heartless. He put his findings in a very detailed report.” Aerith explained.

“Um, may we see it?” Goofy asked.

“I’m afraid not.” Aerith answered.

“Why not?” Youmu questioned, her hands on her hips.

“It’s pages are scattered everywhere.” Aerith said.

“Scattered?!” Donald exclaimed.

“To many worlds.” Aerith said.

“Oh, then maybe the king went to find them.” Patchouli realized.

Her master nodded.

“Yes. Those were my thoughts exactly.” Aerith said.

“We’ve got to find him quick!” Goofy said.

“Wait!” Donald exclaimed.

Then he glanced at the camera and noticed he was too short for the camera to see him. So he pulled the camera to his height and then he spoke.

“First we need that ‘Key’ and ‘Seal’!”

“That’s right. The Keyblade and Gohei.” Aerith confirmed.

“So these are the key and seal.” Sora said, looking at his and Reimu’s weapons.

“The heartless have great fear of the Keyblade and Gohei because they’re one of the few weapons that can release the hearts they carry.” Leon leaned against the wall, “So that’s why they’ll keep coming after you, no matter what.”

“Well, we didn’t ask for any of this.” Reimu said.

“The Keyblade and Gohei choose their masters. And they chose you two.” Yuffie said.

“So, tough luck.” Leon said.

“Now can I interview them?” Aya asked Leon impatiently.

“Not just yet. We still need to take Sora and Reimu to our vistors next door.” Leon answered.

“Leon!” Yuffie exclaimed suddenly, pointing to a ball of darkness that was forming in the room.

Suddenly, that ball of darkness became a heartless!

“Yuffie, Aya, go!” Leon shouted.

“Do you really think I’m going to let the Keybearer and Shrine Maiden get away that easily? NO!" Aya protested.

"Come on, you crazy reporter." Yuffie grabbed Aya's hand and ran through the door, squashing Donald behind it.

"Yuffie! Aya!" Aerith exclaimed, following her two friends.

Back in the Green Room, Leon whipped out his Gunblade and said, "Sora, Reimu, let's go!"

He kicked the heartless out the window before leaping out of it, Sora and Reimu following in close suit.

Meanwhile, Patchouli, Goofy, and Youmu had FINALLY got the door off of Donald, only to find him comically flattened against the wall.

Back at the alleyway, Leon told Reimu and Sora, "Don't bother with the small fry. Search for the leader. I'll hold them off in the meantime."

Sora and Reimu nodded and ran towards the Third District.

'Sora, Reimu, good luck.' Leon thought before rushing into the army of heartless.

When Sora and Reimu got to the Third District, Goofy looked down from the balcony and saw them.

Then, he turned around and saw two heartless appear.

"Gawrsh, are these the heartless guys?" Goofy was hiding behind his shield.

Donald raised his staff and yelled, "Let's go get 'em, Goofy!"

I think it's best to put what happened in a list.

1. Donald, Goofy, Patchouli, and Youmu, despite being exceptionally powerful, were completely unprepared to face the new heartless, and therefore were knocked right off the balcony by the heartless.
2. Sora and Reimu were completely unprepared to see large, anthromorphic animals and therefore were squashed under them.
3. Donald, Goofy, Patchouli, and Youmu were completely unprepared to see the weapons they were looking for, and therefore were distracted long enough for the Heartless to block all the exits with pillars of Earth and attack.

The world-hopping gang quickly got into their battle stances.

"Killing first, Introductions later." Reimu said.

Everyone else nodded and ran into the midst of the heartless.

Patchouli used the fountain to her advantage and sent a wave of water at the the heartless, stunning them before she sent swords of steel, which sliced them to bits.

Youmu duplicated herself with Myon and sliced every heartless within range in a dance of death and beauty.

Donald sent crystals of ice, balls of fire, and bolts of lightning, effectively freezing, burning, and electrocuting them.

Goofy spun around like a top, throwing the heartless into the air and then he slammed them into to the ground, where Sora and Reimu finished them off with their Keyblade and Gohei, respectively.

Soon, however, Donald got thrown into a wall by one of the Soldier heartless’ kicks and was knocked unconscious.

“Master!” Patchouli cried out.

She quickly got out a card out of the folds of her skirt and held it high in the sky.

“Sun Wood Sign ‘Photosynthesis’!” she cried out, “Donald!”

Immediately, a green light surrounded Donald and he got up.

“Thank you, Patchouli!” he said to his apprentice.

“Back to the battle!” Youmu yelled as she slashed another heartless in half.

Patchouli and Donald nodded and ran back into the army of heartless.

Eventually, there was only one Soldier Heartless left. It noticed that it’s comrades were gone and the world-hopping gang were slowly closing in on it.

Beads of sweat were visible on it’s helmeted head. It tried to run away, but it was stopped by a wall of light created by Donald.

Finally, Patchouli got impatient and got another card out of her skirt. Reimu and Youmu got the same idea and got cards out as well.

“Fire Sign ‘Agni Ring’!” Patchouli called out.

“Dream Sign 'Evil Sealing Circle'!" Reimu yelled.

"Sword Skill 'Flashing Cherry Blossoms'!" Youmu screamed.

Reimu's attack stopped the heartless from moving, Patchouli's attack sent a ring of fire that hurt the heartless quite a bit, but didn't defeat it, and Youmu ran at the heartless so fast you'll have to see it in slow motion, slicing it in half and then spears of pink energy shaped like Cherry Blossoms rained down onto the heartless, disintegrating it into nothing.

The other-world gang stared at the pillars is stone, wondering how they were going to get out.

"Hey, Patchouli can't you control Earth?" Youmu asked her fellow apprentice.

"Yes, I can-" Suddenly, Patchouli felt a chill in the air.

And it wasn't just her. Everyone else felt it too.

Something big and bad was coming.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2011, 01:55:14 pm by touhouguy59 »


  • Knight of the Accursed Order
  • Boredom is contagious.
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2011, 11:30:45 pm »
I look forward to the fight with Guard Armor.  Excellent chapter.
[15:30] * Wolfsbane706 pitfalls Roukan.
[15:30] <Roukan> WHAT WHY
[15:31] * Roukan aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*splat*
[15:32] <Wolfsbane706> That's the funniest reaction I've seen yet.
[15:34] * Roukan thumbs-up from beyond the grave.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #13 on: October 30, 2011, 01:34:24 am »
Hey, viewers! Unfortunately, I'm facing a little touble with one of my future worlds. It's a Monsters Inc. world called Factory of Screams. I need some help deciding what forms the world-hopping gang will take in that world. PLEASE HELP!

EDIT: Oh, I forgot to tell you, spoilers to anyone who helps!
« Last Edit: November 01, 2011, 03:00:21 am by touhouguy59 »


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2011, 08:14:11 pm »
Chapter 8: Trouble in Traverse Town, Part 4

The world-hopping group turned around and saw something violet falling from the sky.

When it clattered to the ground, they saw it was a bunch of purple armor with an x'd-out heart on it's chest.

First the legs formed, then the chest, next the arms, and finally a helmeted head dropped onto the top of the chest.

Then it's rigid body started moving as it charged at the world-gang, it's hands spinning at blinding speed, ready to cut the world-hopping gang in two.

They ran away from the attack by the large heartless, which Jiminy, who was perched on Goofy's hat, decided to call the Guard Armor.

“If something like that escapes into the town, it’ll be catastrophic!” Reimu exclaimed.

“Well then, we’ll just have to defeat it then!” Sora said in a battle cry.

Patchouli sent a wave of water at the Guard Armor, which didn’t even frazzle it. Then she sent out boulders of earth, which just bounced off of it. Suddenly, the Guard Armor lashed out at her, ready to rip her heart out.

Donald whipped out his staff and yelled, “Patchouli!”

Then, a shield of wind appeared around the Royal Librarian and shielded her from the attack. Seeing that it couldn’t harm Patchouli, the Guard Armor moved on to Donald. It stomped on the ground, creating shock waves which threw Donald high into the air. Then the Guard Armor detached it’s arms from it’s main body and sent them straight at Donald, ready to rip his heart out.

And it would’ve worked, if it wasn’t for Youmu. In the blink of an eye, she had knocked Donald out of the way of the arms, Myon closely following behind. Unfortunately, one of the violet arms broke away and punched Donald and Youmu into a wall, knocking them out.

Seeing an opportunity,  the Guard Armor sent the other arm for Donald and Youmu.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Reimu exclaimed.

Reimu ran in front of Donald and Youmu and slammed another one of her cards onto the ground.

“Cautionary Border!” she yelled.

Just like at Destiny Islands, a border of light appeared around Reimu, Donald, and Youmu, repelling the arms from attacking the knocked out Disney Castle Duo.

“NOW!” Reimu yelled.

Suddenly, the Keyblade sprouted from the Guard Armor’s chest. With it’s last movement, the Guard Armor realized it had forgot about the Keybearer, the Guard Armor disappeared, releasing a large perfect heart.

Reimu called off the barrier.

Patchouli got another card out and yelled, “Sun Wood Sign ‘Photosynthesis’!”

Immediately, a green light surrounded Donald and Youmu. They snapped open their eyes and got out their weapons, ready to get back to the battle that already ended.

“Hey, it’s okay, fellers. We already beat the heartless.” Goofy said.

“Well, at least we found the key and seal finally.” Patchouli said.

“Um, question.” Reimu slightly raised her hand into the air, “What are you guys talking about?”

“You were looking for us?” Sora asked.

Donald and Goofy nodded.

“They, too, have been looking for the Keyblade and Gohei.”

Sora and Reimu turned around and saw Leon, Yuffie, and Aya standing behind them.

“Hey, why don’t you come with us?” Goofy suggested, “We could go to other worlds on our vessel.”

“I wonder if we could find Riku, Marisa, and Kairi.” Sora wondered aloud, his head hung down.

“Of course.” Donald quacked.

Sora snapped his head up in hope.

Goofy leaned into Donald and whispered, “Are you sure?”

“Who knows? But we need them to come with us to help us find the king.” Donald whispered back.

“Okay, why not? I’ll go with you guys.” Sora said.

Donald and Goofy whirled around with hopeful looks on their faces.

Sora quickly added, “I mean, if Reimu wants to go too.”

Reimu thought about it for a moment and nodded.

“But before they go, can I-” Aya was cut off by Leon and Yuffie.


Aya whimpered and backed into a corner to sulk.

“I don’t think we’ve properly introduced ourselves.” Donald put his out, “Donald Duck.”

“Patchouli Knowledge.” Pathcouli put her hand on Donald’s.

“Youmu Konpaku.” Youmu put her ghostly hand onto Patchouli’s,

“The name’s Goofy.” Goofy put his gloved hand on Youmu’s.

“Reimu Hakurei.” Reimu put her hand on Goofy’s.

“I’m Sora.” Sora said.

“All for one and one for all.” Goofy proclaimed as Sora put his hand onto Reimu’s.

Little did they realize, that this simple alliance would start a journey that would decide the fate of all worlds.

Meanwhile, a collection if people in the shadows were watching the other-worldly gang on a distant world.

“Those little squirts took down that heartless. Who’d have thought it?!” the God of the Underworld exclaimed.

“I sure wouldn’t have, master.” the Shikigami Duo said.

“Such is the power of the Keyblade and Gohei. The children’s strength is not their own.” the Desert Vizier said.

“Why don’t we turn them into a heartless?” the Sea Witch cackled, “That oughto settle things fast enough.”

“And the brat’s friends are the king’s lackies.” the Neverland Pirate slashed his sword, “Swoggle me eyes! They’re all bilgrates, by the look of them.”

“You’re no prize yourself.” the Halloween Bag cackled.

“Fate made him ugly.” the Scarlet Devil smirked.

“Shut up, you two!” the Neverland Pirate swished his sword at them, only for it to miss by an inch.

“Enough.” the Dark Fairy said.

She had green skin with lips as pale as the earth and eyes like the night sky, without the stars or moon. She had on a black cloak and seemed to have horns on her head.

“The Keyblade and Gohei have chosen them.” she said, “Will it be they who conquers the darkness? Or will the darkness swallow them?”

She then smiled before saying, “Either way, they could be quite useful.”

“Master!” the Darkness Youkai ran into the room, “We have intruders.”

Meanwhile, Riku and Marisa were standing on a floating platform that was surrounded by waterfalls.

"Where are we?" Riku wondered aloud.

"Beats me, ze." Marisa said.

Back at Traverse Town, the other-worldly team met up with Yuffie, Leon, and Aerith back in the First District.

"Take this." Aerith handed Sora a golden ball.

"What is this?" Sora wondered aloud.

"It's called Munny. Munny is used in most worlds as currency." Yuffie explained.

"I'd say that the ball we gave you is worth about 1000 Munny." Leon said.

"Thank you for everything.” Reimu curtsied.

“You had best prepare for your journey, so I would recommend going to the Item Shop. They have pretty much everything there.” Aerith said.

And with that, the other-worldly gang said their goodbyes and went into the Item Shop. There they found a trio of ducks dressed in Red, Blue, and Green. Rinnosuke was there as well.

“Ah, if it isn’t the Keybearer and Shrine Maiden.” Rinnosuke said.

“Hey, Unca Donald! Daisy sent ya guys something.” the duck in red said.

“Here ya go!” the duck in blue said.

The duck in blue handed Donald a large package. On top was a note.

Dearest Donald,

How are you doing? Were you able to find the Key and Seal? I’m shipping you and everyone else supplies for your journey. I hope for your safe return.

Always thinking of you,


“Aw, how sweet.” Reimu said.

“Anyway, what can I get you today?” Rinnosuke asked.

Within five minutes, Reimu had purchased three Potions, two Ethers, and a new Staff and Shield for Donald and Goofy. Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Youmu left the store.

Just as Reimu and Patchouli were about to leave as well, they noticed a card standing on a shelf.

“Ah, I see you’ve spotted one of my Spell Cards.” Rinnosuke said.

“Spell Cards?” Reimu repeated.

“Yes. A Spell Card is something a Shrine Maiden or a Magician, like me, can use to cast powerful spells.” Patchouli explained.

‘Did she swallow a textbook to learn that?’ Reimu wondered, ‘Oh, well.’

She turned to Rinnosuke and asked, “How much?”

“For the Agni Shine Spell Card, I’d say about 100 Munny.” Rinnosuke answered.

“Done.” Reimu put the required Munny on the counter.

“Very well then.” Rinnosuke took the Munny off the counter and the Spell Card disappeared.

“Where did it go?” Reimu wondered aloud.

“The Spell Card has changed owners.” the duck in red, Hewey, said.

“Since you’re a Shrine Maiden, you can summon the card at any time.” the duck in blue, Dewey, said.

“So don’t worry about it!” the duck in green, Louie, said.

Suddenly, Donald burst through the doors, quacking curses.

“What’s taking you two so long?!” Donald exclaimed.

“Sorry, Reimu just got a new Spell Card.” Patchouli said.

“Oh.” Donald calmed down.

Then Donald, Patchouli, and Reimu walked outside.

“Oh, and speaking of Spell Cards, don’t you think it’s time to teach Sora Fire Magic, Donald?” Jiminy asked, hopping off of Goofy’s hat.

“You’re right. But we can do that in the Gummi Ship.” Donald said.

“Oh, all right.” Jiminy said before he hopped back under Goofy’s hat.

“Fire Magic?” Sora wondered aloud.

“It’s one of the seven elemental magics that is the easiest to learn.” Donald explained.

“What are the other ones?” Sora asked, eager to learn more about magic.

“Water, Earth, Air, Lightning, Light, and Darkness.” Patchouli said.

“So, which one is the hardest?” Sora asked.

“Light or Darkness, depending on what kind of experiences the person has had.” Donald said, “You see, Light Magic is mostly derived from happy experiences, while Darkness Magic is forged from sad or angering encounters.”

“Oh, okay then.” Sora said.

“But wait! I thought that you shot Ice at those heartless, not Water!” Reimu interjected.

“Well, Ice is just a variation of Water Magic.” Donald said.

“Oh, okay.” Reimu said.

“Come on, Fellers! We’ve got worlds to explore!” Goofy exclaimed.

He was already at the gate, so the rest of the other-worldly gang ran after him.

Author’s Note: Hey, everyone! It’s me, Touhouguy59! I’m here to tell you that YOU, my faithful viewers, get to decide where the other-worldly gang goes next. Here are your choices!

A) Wonderland
B)Olympus Colosseum
C)Deep Jungle
D) Sunnyside

Well, I hope to hear from you soon! And the voting ends in a week, so vote quickly!


  • Knight of the Accursed Order
  • Boredom is contagious.
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #15 on: November 07, 2011, 01:28:08 am »
I know the first three, but which world is Sunnyside?  Also, I liked the additions of Rumia and Remilia into the villain squad.
[15:30] * Wolfsbane706 pitfalls Roukan.
[15:30] <Roukan> WHAT WHY
[15:31] * Roukan aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*splat*
[15:32] <Wolfsbane706> That's the funniest reaction I've seen yet.
[15:34] * Roukan thumbs-up from beyond the grave.


  • Neophyte
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #16 on: November 08, 2011, 05:06:52 am »
You guys are creating magic through your writing. After reading this forum I am big fan of you all.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #17 on: November 12, 2011, 06:51:51 pm »
Well, since no one voted, I guess I get to pick. And I choose........Wonderland! See you soon with the next chapter.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2012, 04:34:53 pm »
Chapter 9: Welcome to Wonderland, Part 1

“Now, Sora, remember, Fire is the easiest of the elemental magics.” Donald explained, “Try again.”

The duo, along with Patchouli and Reimu, were inside the training room of the Gummi Ship, with Donald trying to teach Sora Fire Magic.

Sora focused once again, and in a few seconds, a small fireball ignited in his palm. ‘

“Good. And it only took 52 tries.” Donald quacked, “Hey, Patchouli, how is Reimu doing?”

“She’s learning much faster than I expected. She’s already mastered the basic forms of Fire Magic.” Patchouli glanced at Reimu, who was playing hacky sack with a small ball of fire.

Sora looked at Reimu venomously, thinking, ‘How come she’s the one who’s talented at magic?’

“Hey, fellers, check this out!” Goofy’s voice said on the intercom.

“Probably our first world.” Patchouli speculated.

Reimu and Sora called off their balls of fire and they ran to the cockpit, along with Donald and Patchouli. When they got there, the world in front of them was probably the most bizarre one they had seen. The main body had red and pink checkers on the surface, with hearts on the checkers. On the top of it was a hedge maze and on the bottom was a cottage with a straw roof.

“What world is that?” Sora wondered aloud.

“Well,” Youmu pressed a button and a monitor popped down from the roof, “according to the scanners, it’s a world called...”

A set of humanoid playing cards appeared on the screen and they turned over to reveal the word...

“Wonderland.” Youmu finished.

“Well, let’s beam down.” Donald pressed another button and everyone disappeared in flashes of light.

The group of six were seen floating down what seemed to be an extremely large rabbit hole. The weird thing was that there was furniture of all kinds floating around.

Finally, they reached the bottom. While the first five landed like a cat, namely, on their feet, Goofy simply clobbered himself onto the floor.

“Oh, my fur and whiskers! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” a panicked voice said from behind them.

A white rabbit in a waistcoat that was holding an overly large pocket watch ran past Goofy in pure terror.

“Oh, no! I’m here, I should be there! Oh, the queen! She’ll have my head for sure!” the rabbit exclaimed fearfully as he rounded the corner.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Sora finally said, “Let’s follow him.”

With nothing better to do, everyone else agreed.

A little way down the hole, the group of six found a door. When Sora opened it, behind it was another door. And when Sora opened that one, he found yet ANOTHER door. And when he opened the next one there was yet ANOTHER door behind it.

“What’s the big idea?!” Donald quacked angrily.

Then he held out his staff and yelled, “Fission Firaga!”

On the other side of the door, it stretched a bit before flying off it’s hinges and slamming onto the ground. When the group of six walked out, Sora and Reimu took a moment to look at their surroundings. The room they were now in seemed to be living quarters. There was a stove, a bed, and some arm chairs. But the weirdest part was that there seemed to be a tiny door with an overly large golden doorknob with eyes.

“You know that wasn’t necessary,” Patchouli said cooly, “That was the last door.”

“You mean you knew?!” Donald’s temper reached past the boiling point, “Why you little-”

“Hey, look! The white rabbit!” Reiimu exclaimed, hoping to avoid a fight.

And indeed, the white rabbit was scurrying to the tiny door. But, he had shrunk! He opened the door and closed it behind him.

The group of six crouched down to the door and Sora wondered aloud, “How did he get so small?”

“No, you’re simply too big.”

Donald quacked in surprise, “The doorknob talks!”

“Amazing...” Patchouli muttered as she leaned in for a closer look, “I cannot sense any enchantment on it all.”

The doorknob yawned, “Must you be so loud? You woke me up.”

“Good morning.” Goofy said stupidly.

Youmu facepalmed.

“Good night!” the doorknob argued, “I need to get some more sleep.”

“Wait!” Reimu said quickly, “What do we have to do get get small too?”

“Why don’t you try the bottle, over there?” it yawned again.

The world-travelers turned their heads around and saw a table with two bottles, one blue and one red, and a chair pop up out of the floor.

“Okay...” Reimu sweatdropped, “How did that get there?”

Sora shrugged.

“Oh, and one more thing. You may want to push in the bed.” the doorknob said before going back to snoozing.

“Push in the bed?” Youmu repeated, “How is that even possible?”

“Well, after seeing a rabbit in a waistcoat, a quartet of doors behind one another, a talking doorknob, and a table popping out of nowhere, I wouldn’t be surprised if a bed could be pushed into a wall.” Reimu said.

At that moment, Sora, along with Donald and Goofy’s help, pushed the bed into the wall, revealing a tiny side door.

“Well, that was...bizarre.” Patchouli said.

After that, everyone drank from the blue bottle, and after the last person, Goofy, hand drunk out of it, they all shrank to the rabbit’s size. At the moment they stopped shrinking, new heartless appeared! One was red with a yellow wizard’s hat covering it’s head, and it was floating. Another was the same, except it was blue instead of red. And the last one was yellow instead of blue or red. Jiminy decided to call them Red Nocturnes, Blue Rhapsodies, and Yellow Operas.

“Great. More heartless.” Reimu said sarcastically as she got out her Spell Cards and Gohei.

“We just need to defeat three, right? This is gonna be easy!” Sora said as he brought out his Keyblade.

Just then, ten more of each type appeared.

“You were saying?” Patchouli said as she prepped up a spell.

“Just...get ‘em!” Sora stuttered.

Sora and Reimu ran at the heartless, but they fled.

‘Are they giving up?’ Sora wondered aloud.

Oh, how wrong he was. The heartless, in unison, sent out bolts of lightning, balls of fire, and crystals of ice at the group of six. They scattered, but Reimu was being closed in by an ice crystal. She stopped and held out her Gohei to the ice.

“Flames!” she screamed.

A wave of pure heat erupted from the Gohei, melting the ice. Reimu then called off her Gohei and held her hands out to the leftover puddle.

Then she called out, “Waves!”

A huge wave came out of the puddle and doused everything in sight, defeating the Red Nocturnes and Yellow Operas, but not damaging the Blue Rhapsodies at all.

“Why didn’t it work on those heartless?” she wondered aloud.

But, she didn’t have much time to think about it, as another ice crystal was sent at her. Finally, the spell Patchouli was preparing for was ready.

“Sun Sign ‘Royal Flare’!” she called out.

A mini magical sun appeared above Patchouli, it’s searing heat literally melting the heartless’ ice spells and casting them back into the darkness they came from. But, since it was magical, the sun didn’t harm her allies at all. Soon, however, the sun subsided, leaving Patchouli panting and gasping for breath by the amount of magical power put into that spell.

“Come on, we have to investigate that side door.” Reimu said.

“Go on ahead. I just need to rest for a while.” Patchouli argued.

“No way! We’re not leaving you behind!” Donald quacked.

“You’re right. As long as I don’t cast any spells for a while, I should be fine.” Patchouli said.

“All right! Let’s go!” Sora cheered, running towards the side door.

Everyone else followed him.

Sorry for not updating in a while. I was facing a writer's block, but now I've remedied that. Cya soon!


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #19 on: February 14, 2012, 11:02:34 pm »
Chapter 10: Welcome to Wonderland, Part 2

When the world-hoppers came through the side door, they found themselves in what seemed to be a hedge maze. When they walked further up, they saw a court.

In the judge’s seat was a plump woman with a red and black dress on. Her hair was as black as ebony, and her eyes were closed. She was holding was seemed to be a scepter with a red heart on the end. She had a golden crown on her head, signifying her status as a queen.

In the convicted seat was a young girl with long blond hair and a blue dress with a white apron on it. She had sparkling blue eyes that twinkled with innocence.

There were also humanoid playing cards everywhere.

As the world-hoppers walked in, the white rabbit was running up a set of stairs onto a platform.

He blew into a trumpet he got from who-knows-where.

After he stopped blowing, he yelled, “Court is now in session!”

The girl gasped, “I’m on trial?” she cried, “But why?”

The rabbit, however, ignored her. “Her majesty, The Queen of Hearts, presiding!”

Suddenly, the queen’s eyes snapped open and she said, “This girl is the culprit, there’s no doubt about it! And the reason is, BECAUSE I SAY SO, THAT’S WHY!”

“That is so unfair!” the girl argued.

“Well, do you have anything to say in your defence, Alice?” The Queen asked the young girl.

“Of course! I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong!” Alice said.

“You may be queen,” she continued as the rabbit looked from Alice to his queen and back again.

“But I don’t think that gives you the right to be so-so mean!” Alice said.

“SILENCE!” The queen roared, “You DARE defy me?!”

Back with the world-hoppers, Sora said, “Hey, guys. We should help her out.”

“Um, I guess, but wouldn’t that be muddling?” Goofy said stupidly.

“‘Meddling’!” Donald corrected.

“And that would probably shake the boundaries of the worlds.” Patchouli speculated.

“The court finds the defendant,” the queen shouted, bringing the world-hoppers attention back to the trial, “GUILTY AS CHARGED!”

Alice flinched.

“For the crimes of assault, and attempted theft of my heart,” Sora and Reimu gasped at the part the queen said, “OFF WITH HER HEAD!”

The cards in the court room started to advance on Alice.

“Oh, no! Please don’t!” Alice pleaded.

“Hold it right there!” Reimu called out as she and Sora ran into the court.

‘Won’t they ever learn?’ Patchouli thought, shaking her head.

Nevertheless, they followed them.

“Who are you?!” The queen demanded, “How DARE you interrupt this court!”

“Excuse me, but we know who the real culprit is.” Reimu said.

“That’s right, it’s the heart-“ Youmu covered her master’s mouth.

“Anyway, she’s not the one you’re looking for.” Sora said.

“That’s nonsense. Do you have any proof?” The queen said.

“Uhhh…” Sora stammered.

“Mother!” a voice cried out from the end of the court.

The world-hoppers whirled around to see a young teenaged girl there with red hair with a yellow ribbon in it and crimson eyes. She was wearing a violet kimono with red flower markings.

“Don’t you think that we should show this girl some mercy?” she asked, pointing to Alice.

“Kotohime! I thought I told you to stay in your room!” the Queen of Hearts said.

“Well, I thought that I should come out of it. Besides, do YOU have any proof against this girl?” Kotohime said.

“Well…I…uhhh…” the Queen stammered.

Kotohime smirked, knowing that she had outfoxed her mother, “Well, then. Don’t you think that they should go find some proof that says she’s innocent?”

“Very well. I shall give them three hours to find evidence to prove this girl’s innocence.” The queen said, “But, in the meantime, I shall put this girl inside the bird cage.”

With no other option left, the world-hoppers sadly watched Alice be taken inside a large, golden cage that was shaped as if it was for a bird.

“Well, you six, your time starts NOW!” the queen said.

“Good luck.” Kotohime whispered to Sora as he walked off, earning a glare from Reimu.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2012, 01:40:26 pm »
Chapter 11: Welcome to Wonderland, Part 3

In the next two hours, the world-hoppers came back to the courtroom, carrying four pink checkered boxes that had evidence in them.

“So, I see that you have found evidence. However, I shall present my own evidence on the court and you,” she pointed to Reimu, “shall decide which one to present to the court.”

“What kind of rule is that?!” Reimu exclaimed, “There’s no way we’re letting you do that!”

“Do you DARE defy your queen?!”

The cards started to advance on them.

“I don’t think that we can hold them all of, Reimu.” Sora whispered to his friend.

“Nevermind, your majesty! We’ll do it!” Reimu said to the queen.

“Good!” The queen waved her hand and the cards backed off.

“Present your evidence on the pink rug.” The Queen said.

At that moment, a pink and red rug appeared in front of the judge’s seat on the ground.

Reimu put the four pieces of evidence on the rug.

“So, where’s your evidence?” Reimu asked the Queen.

“Cards! Bring forth my evidence!” the Queen of Hearts ordered.

One of the humanoid cards brought forth another piece of evidence that was in the same kind of boxes the world-hoppers’ evidence was in.

“Now, mix them up, but don’t tell me which one is mine.” The Queen ordered the cards.

The cards whisked away all the evidence and disappeared. After a few minutes, they came back. They set the boxes back down on the rug.

“Now, pick which one you want to be presented.” The Queen said.

“Please pick the right one.” Sora whispered to Reimu, “Cause if you don’t, who knows what they’ll do to Alice.”

Reimu nodded.

After a few minutes of waiting and suspense, Reimu picked up one box.

“I choose this one!” she declared.

“Are you sure?” one of the Cards asked the Shrine Maiden.

“Yes.” Reimu nodded.

“Open it.” The Queen ordered.

As soon as Reimu opened it, a flash of black light blinded everyone. When the light subsided, the Queen lowered her arms a bit, only to see a Soldier heartless heading straight for her! She screamed.

Acting fast, Reimu summoned her Gohei and slashed the heartless in half, disintegrating it into darkness.

“What in the WORLD was that?!” the Queen exclaimed.

“There’s the evidence! Alice is innocent!” Sora shouted at the Queen.

“Silence! I’m the law here!” the Queen roared, “Article 29: Anyone who defies the queen is GUILTY!”

“That’s crazy!” Donald ranted, sputtering a string of curses.

“Seize them!” the Queen yelled.

At once, the stairs the white rabbit was on disappeared and the convicted seat evaporated into thin air. The cage’s curtain closed and it was raised into the air. Then, a tower with a lever popped in the middle of the courtroom. Finally, the queen held out her heart-shaped scepter and the cards leapt at the World-hoppers.

“We have to get rid of that tower to free Alice!” Reimu realized.

With their goal in mind, the gang attacked. One of the red cards swiped a heart-shaped lance at Patchouli, but she jumped away and sent out a bunch of fireballs at it. But, the fireballs just bounced right off!

“What the-“ Patchouli screamed as she was hit by an axe by one of the black cards.

“Fire Sign ‘Agni Shine!’” Reimu yelled as she held out her new Spell Card.

A flash of light blinded the cards and when the light subsided, huge balls of flame hurled themselves out of Reimu’s hands and burnt the black cards to a crisp. But, they seemed to have no effect on the red cards.

They’re just like the Red Nocturnes!’ Reimu realized.

“Sora! Don’t use Fire spells on the red ones! They’re immune to Fire!” she shouted to Sora as he was just prepping up a fire ball from his Keyblade.

Suddenly, the black cards got back up! The world-hoppers had no time to think about it, though, because the cards were still advancing on them.

“Thunder!” Donald shouted as he held out his staff.

The skies darkened and bolts of lightning rained from the sky, electrocuting the cards. But they just got right back up.

“There’s no end to them!” Reimu shouted as she parried another attack by a black card.

I’ve only got one shot at this.’ Goofy thought to himself.

He threw his shield at the cards, but they simply ducked to avoid it. Suddenly, they heard a crack. They whirled around and saw that the tower had been split in half by Goofy’s shield. Goofy wasn’t aiming for the cards; he was aiming for the tower.

The bird cage fell to the ground. Sora and Reimu ran to it, and the Queen looked over to dole out punishment to Alice. But when Reimu opened the curtain, Alice had vanished!

“WHAT?! WHERE DID SHE GO?!” the Queen roared, “CARDS! FIND HER!”

Not wishing to ignite their queen’s rage, the cards scattered.

“YOU SIX! YOU SEARCH AS WELL!” the Queen ordered the world-hoppers, “THERE IS NO TRIAL WITH NO DEFENDANT!”

“Of course, your majesty.” Reimu curtsied.

And with that, the world-hoppers ran off.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #21 on: March 14, 2012, 02:34:55 am »
Chapter 12: Welcome to Wonderland, Part 4

The world-hoppers ran back to the Bizarre Room, which was the living quarters they came in. They hopped on the table, about to get big again when right in front of them was a strange, pink-striped cat with a HUGE grin on his face.

“Why, hello there. I am the Cheshire Cat.” The cat said.

“Do you know where Alice is?” Reimu inquired impatiently.

“Right to the point, eh? Well, I’m afraid that the shadows have taken her. She’s not here. But the shadows are about to be. Are you prepared for the worst?” the cat asked.

Without waiting for an answer, it said, “Well, if not, that’s too bad!”

It then disappeared. Suddenly, Sora had a sudden urge to look up. When he did, he saw a HUGE Heartless (Well, huge by his current standards) hanging on the roof. It had six cylindrical heads, one on top of the other. It’s body was extremely skinny and had a jester’s suit on it. It’s arms were zig zag-shaped and had a folded claw on each end. It’s legs were long and skinny as well, but it had black axes for feet.  It leapt onto the floor and flipped onto the other side of the table the world-hoppers were on. It unfurled it’s hands and summoned two violet-striped juggling sticks, one in each hand.

As the world-hoppers prepared for battle, Jiminy decided to call that heartless the Trickmaster.

Donald started the battle by shouting, “Fire!”

A barrage of fireballs shot out of Donald’s staff and hurled themselves at the Trickmaster. But, to Donald’s shock, the huge Heartless absorbed the fireballs. Suddenly, it’s juggling sticks lit like a candle.

“It can use Fire magic!” Reimu shouted.

It sent out a ball of flame at the world-hoppers, and they scattered.

Donald brought out his staff and was about to unleash an Ice Spell when he said, “Do I smell something burning?”

“Um, Donald, you may want to check your feathers.” Goofy said.

Donald slowly turned his head around and saw his flaming feathers.

A few blinks. “I’M ON FIRE!!!”

He was dragging his butt on the floor, even though he could’ve easily put it out with a Water Spell. Sora was trying his best not to laugh. Suddenly, the Trickmaster sent out another ball of fire, this time at Reimu, who was busy laughing her head off. Sora noticed it and tried to warn her, but it was too late. The fireball exploded and dust was thrown everywhere.

“No…” Sora uttered.

He could feel the tears coming down from his cheeks. He just couldn’t believe that his best friend was…gone. Suddenly, something flew out of the smoke. It was a blur of white and red. It soared towards the Trickmaster, and sliced a head off.  It then cut the other heads off, one by one. When the final one was off, the blur stopped moving. It was revealed to be none other than…

“Reimu?!” Sora shouted in disbelief.

But she had a glazed look in her eyes. And she held her Gohei backhandedly. But the most surprising thing of all was that she was hovering in the air.

“Terra…Ven…Aqua…Yuuka…” she muttered.

Suddenly, she seemed to have snapped out of it, for her eyes returned to normal. The Trickmaster collapsed to the ground, releasing a large heart and disappearing.

“What-the-HECK?!” Reimu screamed as she finally noticed that she was flying.

“Hey, Reimu! Nice job on the heartless!” Sora yelled up to his friend.

“What are you talking about?! The last thing I remember was nearly being hit by that fireball and next thing I know, I’m flying and the heartless collapses!” Reimu yelled back to Sora.

“We’ll figure it out later!” Sora yelled back to Reimu, “Do you think you can come back down now?!”

Okay…um, land?’ Reimu thought weakly.

Suddenly, she shot down and landed perfectly on her feet.

“Since when could you fly?!” Sora ran up to his friend.

“Like I said, I don’t remember taking off.” Reimu persisted.

“Allow me to explain.” Patchouli walked up, “Shrine Maidens have the ability to fly.”

“Aww, lucky!” Sora shouted.

“Although, I don’t think that the trance Reimu was in actually had anything to do with the fact that she just learned to fly.” Patchouli said.

“Huh, maybe we’ll figure it out later.” Sora said.

“HEY! AS YOUR MASTER, I ORDER YOU TO HELP ME OUT, PATCHOULI!” Donald screamed, his bum still burning.

“Fine.” Patchouli said as she cast a Water spell and FINALLY put out Donald’s feathers.

“What a racket.” The doorknob had woken up.

The world-hoppers leaned in and saw the doorknob yawning. Inside it’s ‘mouth’ was a shining keyhole. Suddenly, Sora and Reimu’s Keyblade and Gohei let out beams of light at the Keyhole and the sound of something locking was heard. Then, the Keyhole vanished and the Doorknob closed it’s ‘mouth’ and went back to snoozing.

“What just happened?” Sora wondered aloud.

“I don’t know, but with Alice kidnapped by the Heartless, there’s nothing else to do here. We might as well leave.” Donald said.

“Yeah.” Reimu said, “I’m anxious to get away just in case the Queen learns that Alice has been kidnapped.”

With that thought, the world-hoppers vanished in flashes of light.

Back at the mysterious castle…

“The boy and girl are a problem. They found one of the Keyholes.” The Desert Vizier said to the Witch of Darkness.

“Fear not, it will take them ages to find the rest. Besides, they remain blissfully unaware of our other plan.” She said certainly.

“Yes, the Princesses.” The Sea Witch cackled.

“They are falling into our hands, one by one.” The Witch of Darkness said before she turned around, “Speaking of which…”

A portal of darkness opened and a very frightened and trembling Alice popped out of it.

A/N: Okay, everyone! I'm going to let YOU vote on what next world the world-hoppers will go to! Here are the choices.

A) Olympus Coliseum
B) Deep Jungle
C) Sunnyside

EDIT: Sorry everyone, but I'm canceling the voting for worlds.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2012, 01:56:28 am by touhouguy59 »


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #22 on: April 25, 2012, 12:38:34 am »
Hey. everybody! Sorry for not updating for such a LONG time, but I've been caught up in other stuff. Anyway, I'm letting you guys know that I have a logo for this Fanfic. And here it is!

Oh, and sorry for it being sideways. I couldn't do it any other way. Anyway, I hope you like it and I'll see you soon with the next chapter!


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #23 on: May 13, 2012, 10:13:15 pm »
Chapter 13: Heroes in Training, Part 1

“Okay, so that last world was definitely NOT where the King was.” Donald said.

They were all inside the cockpit, trying to find the next world.

“Well, how about that one?” Reimu pointed to a world located nearby on the world finder.

“Donald, get us there!” Sora ordered to Donald, who was in the driver’s seat.

“Right.” Donald piloted to the nearby world.

When they got near it, it seemed to be a Greek-themed coliseum that was completely made of sandstone and was floating on clouds.

“Ah, Olympus Coliseum.” Youmu leaned back in her chair.

“You know this world?” Reimu asked her.

“Yeah. The King and Queen often came here to watch the games, which are fighting tournaments.” The Half-ghost explained.

“Fighting tournaments, huh? Let’s go!” Sora pushed the beam down button in excitement.

In six flashes of light, the world-hoppers disappeared.

The world-hoppers appeared in front of the doors. On each side was a huge golden statue of a warrior. The wooden doors had thunderbolts etched on them. And out of the windows of the coliseum, there were just blue skies.

“Let’s go inside.” Sora said.

With nothing better to do, they started to go towards the doors. They passed two girls walking in the opposite direction on the way there.

One had short violet hair under a black bowler hat and red eyes. She had a pink and red ribbon-like thing wrapped around her red and pink frock and black skirt. She was wearing two black shoes. The other had mid-back blue hair and red eyes. She, too had a hat, only it was decorated with peaches. She had on a white dress with a blue ribbon in the middle and a pair of brown boots.

As soon as they passed, the blue-haired girl turned to watch the world-hoppers enter the doors.

The violet-haired girl noticed this and asked her, “What’s wrong, Eldest Daughter?”

“That boy and girl, they seemed so...familiar.” the blue-haired girl said.

Inside the lobby, Sora and the other world-travelers were admiring the many trophies on the walls. On one end, there was a very short man there. Well, half a man, anyway. His rear was fully goat while his top was that of a red-haired man with horns coming out of his head. He was on a pedestal, his back turned from the world-hoppers. Next to him was an archway with the word ‘CLOSED’ hanging by a rope in the middle of it.

As soon as he heard the doors close, he said, “Hey, good timing.”

“Um, and-” Reimu started, but the goat man interrupted her.

“Go and move that pedestal over there, will ya?”

The world-hoppers looked to where the goat man’s finger was pointing and saw a pedestal of solid sandstone sitting there.

“Are you kidding me?! It must weigh a-” Sora complained, but got whacked on the head by a mallet that Reimu mysteriously got in her hand.

She literally dragged him over the pedestal and told him, “You push first.”

“Not you too!” Sora complained.

“Look, if you want to enter these ‘Games’, you gonna have to do as he says.” Reimu said.

“Fine.” Sora sighed.

He then started pushing, but the pedestal wouldn’t budge even a millimeter.

“Fine, never send a boy to do a girl’s job.” Reimu then pushed Sora out of the way and started pushing herself.

“What?! You’ve got to be KIDDING me! This thing must weigh over a 10,000 tons!” she grunted as she pushed.

“Um, I think I see the problem.” Patchouli said from the corner of the pedestal.

“What?!” Reimu exclaimed.

Reimu stopped pushing and she and Sora looked to see Patchouli looking at the ground. Near the pedestal was a blue colored four-heart symbol connected by lines on the ground.

“What’s that?” Sora asked.

“It’s a Quad Limit symbol.” Patchouli said.

“What’s a Quad Limit Symbol?” Reimu asked.

“It’s a symbol that requires a HUGE amount of energy for it to activate.” the Elemental Mage explained.

“What happens once it activates?”

“Well, it depends on what area you’re in.”

“HEY! Would you stop talking and start movin’ that pedestal?!” the Goat man exclaimed.

“Are you kidding me?! It’s way too heavy!” Sora complained.

“What?! Too heavy?!” the Goat man finally turned around and looked up and started to say, “Since when have been a little-”

He looked down to see Sora there.

“Oh, wrong guy. What are you doing here?” he hopped down from the pedestal and started getting in Donald’s face. (As he was the only one short as the goat man.)

“This here’s the world-famous Coliseum, heroes ONLY. And I’ve got my hands full preparing for the games. So run along, pip-squeaks.” he continued.

Sora glared at the goat man, thinking about pummelling some sense into the goat.

The goat sighed, “Look, it’s like this. Heroes come from all over to fight ferocious monsters, right here in the Coliseum.”

“You’ve got heroes standing right in front of you!” Youmu exclaimed.

“Yep!” Goofy grabbed Sora and Reimu and put them right next to each other, “These two are real heroes chosen by the Keyblade and Gohei!”

“Heroes?! Those runts?!” the goat exclaimed, then suddenly started bursting out laughing.

“What’s so funny?! We’ve fought a bunch of monsters!” Sora exclaimed.

“Yeah, you should see us fight!” Reimu said.

The goat man kept laughing until-

“That sounds fun~” a voice said from nearby.

Everyone turned to see the woman with the blue hair they passed before.

“Miss-Miss Tenshi!” the goat exclaimed, blushing furiously.

“Come on, Phi~l. I seem to recall you doubting a young boy and girl like this before. I think that these kids have got what it takes.” the woman, Tenshi, said, “Besides, things are getting a little boring here. The most exciting thing that happened was when Hades tried to storm Olympus. (Again.) And that was over a year ago. This should definitely provide me some entertainment.”

“Miss Tenshi-” Phil looked like he wanted to argue, but when Tenshi gave him a classic death stare, he caved in, “All right. I’ll give you kids a chance.”

The world-hoppers cheered. (Except Patchouli; she just kept her blank expression.)

“All right, if you’ll follow me out to the arena, I’ll show you what you need to do.” Phil led them out to an arena in the back that had a sand floor and stone seats.

In the middle of the arena were countless amounts of scarecrows.

“Okay, I’ll test you guys, one at a time. You have to defeat thirty of these Scarecrows in under 30 seconds, or you don’t make the grade, comprende?” Phil asked.

“Yo, Spikes! You’re up first!” Phil pointed to Sora.

“Good luck.” Reimu whispered to Sora.

As Sora stepped to the arena, Phil started the timer.


Suddenly, feeling a strong light in his heart, Sora ran at speeds so fast that he was but a blur to all who were watching. A few moments afterwards, Sora stopped as the last Scarecrow went down.

“How was that?” Sora asked smugly.

Phil was gaped at the timer, “Under...Five...Seconds.”

“All right!” Sora cheered.

He went back to his friends.

“How did you do that, Sora?” Youmu asked.

Before Sora can answer, Patchouli said, “Every Keyblade has a different power. It appears that his Keyblade’s current power grants him super speed.”

“So, it looks like Reimu isn’t the only one with special powers.” Sora smirked.

Reimu just stuck her tongue out.

“Hey, Red n’ White! Your turn!” Phil yelled at Reimu.

All the scarecrows were back up.

“Okay.” Reimu said.

She stepped into the arena and got out her Gohei.

“All right! 3...2...1...GO!”

Reimu leaped into the sky and summoned a Spell Card, this one a little different than the others.

“‘Homing Amulet’!” Reimu yelled.

The card disappeared and thousands of thin slips of paper with red and white Yin-Yang orbs printed on them, Amulets, appeared around Reimu. She held her hands out and the Amulets shot like a cannon towards the Scarecrows. Each time one connected, a small explosion took place. That, combined with the sheer number of them, took out the Scarecrows in three seconds flat.

Reimu landed and flicked her hair proudly.

She walked back to her friends.

“All...right. You! The Duck and Dog! Your turn!” Phil said to Donald and Goofy.

They both walked over to the arena and summoned their weapons in a flash of light.

“Ready, Get Set, GO!”

Almost immediately, the whole arena was covered in a dust storm, and everyone started coughing. In a few moments, however, the dust settled.

There, standing proudly among all the shredded scarecrows, were Donald and Goofy.

“How was that Mr. Phil?” Goofy asked the goat.

“Seven Seconds.” Phil said dryly.

“WHAT?!” Donald screeched, angry that they got the worst time yet.

“Donald, there’s nothing we can do about it.” Goofy said while restraining Donald from throttling Phil.

He literally dragged the kicking and screaming duck back to their friends and had Patchouli conjure up a rope to tie him to the stands.

“Yo! Sword and Book! You’re up!” Phil ordered Patchouli and Youmu.

Youmu zipped down to the arena so fast that she looked like a blur, while Patchouli simply floated down to it.


Patchouli leaped right into the middle of the Scarecrows and called out, “Moon Sign ‘Silent Selene’!”

A sorcerer’s circle appeared on the bottom of the arena and bursts of steel blue light shot out and destroyed most of the scarecrows, while Youmu, using her incredible speed, slashed straight through any stragglers.

As soon as the timer showed three seconds, the last of the scarecrows were in pieces. Patchouli called off her Spell Card and Youmu appeared beside her.

“Three seconds.” Phil said before fainting.

Tenshi started clapping excitedly before the girl with the ribbons around her appeared in a bolt of lightning.

“Eldest Daughter! Where have you been?! Your father has been worried sick about you!” the girl said.

“Oh, fine, I’m coming, Iku.” Tenshi pouted as she disappeared into thin air along with Iku.

Meanwhile, on the roof of the lobby, a strange man was watching what had taken place in the arena.

He was tall, and had blue skin and, instead of hair, he had blue flames. His black lips turned into a fanged scowl. He had a black toga on with a skull on his pinned on it. On his shoulder was a two-tailed black cat.

“Well, Rinny, it looks like we have trouble coming.” the man said.

The cat hissed and, in a puff of smoke, they both disappeared.


  • Novelist of Hearts
  • Nickname: Reimu's Brother
Re: Kingdom Hearts: Highly Responsive to Prayers
« Reply #24 on: May 30, 2012, 06:48:05 pm »
I'm sorry, everyone, but I'm officially cancelling this story. BUT I'm going to be revising it in another topic, so could the admins please close this topic?

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