Topic: Rou's Cornucopia of Crap (NSFW, BAD WRITING HEREIN -link to LJ within-)  (Read 16811 times)

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FinnKaenbyou

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Hello, I'm the Library Critic. I read it so YOU don't have to.

I like writing. I like good writing. But in its own way, I also like BAD writing. The sort of writing that makes you want to scream and cry and punch someone in the face all at the same time. So I intend for this to be a place where I can make some entertainment out of pieces that'd normally be soul crushing.

Now, this writing probably isn't going to fit into the typical content of this site, which is why I'm posting stuff on a Livejournal account. This will just serve as an inbetween to post links, with the obvious warning that NSFW LIES AHEAD.

Anyway, here's the first thing I've written up: Touhou Project: Mountain of Promise
And for those of you who wish to experience the original, here it is.

-----

Other works:
5/7/11 - Reimu fights the bad guys of adrkness
6/7/11 - Mountain of 2: Chance of Eternity [Part 1]
6/7/11 - Mountain of 2: Chance of Eternity [Part 2]
7/7/11 - SERIOUS: An Open Letter To Talos Angel
8/7/11 - RftBGoA - Dramatic Reading!
« Last Edit: July 08, 2011, 09:50:29 pm by Rou You Can »
Quote
Iíll be right back, just hanging myself as I lose faith in humanity.
Pshawww. That's nothing.

Try this if you really want to kill yourself :colonveeplusalpha:
this isn't even the worst thing she's written, not by a long shot.
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XephyrEnigma

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this isn't even the worst thing she's written, not by a long shot.

i agree, the sequel is much, much worse.
Iced-Fairy: "Danmaku is like soccer, except instead of hooligans you get fairies and the riot is before the game." 

My YouTube channel where I often screw about - Latest Upload: IN Border Team Easy Clear
i agree, the sequel is much, much worse.

I haven't checked that out, I went for Reimu fights the bad guys of adrkness and Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica: Kyubee's Lament instead.

now though I'm off to read the sequel.
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Kips McKipzerson

  • Banned
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  • Nickname: The Kippiest Kip
Quote
>-Suwako slapped herself; she shouldn't be thinking like that! She promised Cirno she wouldn't try to eat her ever since they became friends at school!

Because I promise all of my friends that I wonít subject them to vore fantasies.

well i have to  :fail:

but in all seriousness I really like stuff like this, pointing out the flaws in a bad fic, but i was honestly expecting a vocal reading tbh

Aya Squawkermaru

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As horrible as the Mountain series may be, I'm reading the Reimu one, and it's horrendous. To be fair, she was drunk when she wrote it, but...

"STOP LASERING CITY!"

The Unlimited RR

  • Last Showdown RR&D
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This...this ain't that bad compared to a real blunder like Halos in Space or IIWYN.  Yeah, it's completely disregarding Touhou, some terrible characterization and has some real WTF plot to it, but this is just another typical crap fanfic at the end of the day.  And I'm still trying to figure out just why the hell Suwako has vore fantasies about eating people.  Or why it just suddenly comes up at the end for a [shyamalan]TWEEEEEST[/shyamalan].

However, that second one just might be up my alley for the lulz I seek...
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capt. h

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@Rou - will this include any stories from PSL?

Also, if you do use any of my stories (and I wouldn't blame you), please PM me before posting it. Not because I would ask you to stop (I'd actually be thrilled if you ripped one of my stories to shreds, in fact I would consider it an honor), but because I'd like a little warning before seeing my stories mocked.
« Last Edit: July 03, 2011, 06:29:32 am by capt. h »

GuyYouMetOnline

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Do you have any that are actually finished?

FinnKaenbyou

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@Rou - will this include any stories from PSL?
I'm not planning to include any PSL stories, no. Don't think it'd end well however I played it.

Tired/Warm

  • Apostatical Verdant Eudaemonaic
  • This is my danmaku.
  • Nickname: Sleepy/Humid
Quote
"I just want to be your friend." Ibuki made her own sad puppy-dog face, which had equal cute power to Cirno's.
Quote
oh god cuteness power levels itís like iím reading a dragonball fic
...

I was laughing the entire time, so hard I could barely breath. Anyone whose writing is ever deemed irrevocably bad (some part of me includes myself in this), this is the sort of Hel I wish it to ascend to. I don't know too much about the author so I cannot join the 'it wasn't their worst' parade - but does it matter? Something that crosses the line from being bad to gleefully bad is sort of good!... Or something. Especially when I've got invisible popcorn, visible tea, and robots sitting in the next seat over.

Extremely enjoyable, would read again. Wait, no! WHAT AM SAYING-

Awesome sig courtesy of Squawkers23! Thanks!

Oh, you're looking for words? My writing is here.
Do you remember me? I also remember you - and though we haven't met in so many days, I still know you and love your memories. If you stumbled upon this - good luck, in whatever you might do.

capt. h

  • Only sane townie
I'm not planning to include any PSL stories, no. Don't think it'd end well however I played it.

I don't disagree that it wouldn't end well, but some people really need it. And by it, I mean people like me need to be explicitly told that my stories are bad enough to be lambasted the way you've mocked Mountain of Promise, or I won't get any better. The best thing that's ever happened to my writing is the time it was compared to 4-koma quality. A point by point guide of all the problems with one of my (recent) stories is the best thing that could probably ever happen to my writing.

Dead Princess Sakana

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I don't disagree that it wouldn't end well, but some people really need it. And by it, I mean people like me need to be explicitly told that my stories are bad enough to be lambasted the way you've mocked Mountain of Promise, or I won't get any better.
If you need to be mocked to understand your errors, that's your thing, but usually proper criticism does the job just as well, and often better. And that's because criticism is ideally objective, whereas mockeries such as this here are subjective for entertainment value.
If you were to show this to the author of the fic in the OP, they would see that their fic is bad, but I highly doubt it would teach them how to do it better.

So no, we are not gonna have people mock each other's PSL-fics, this here is more than enough already.

The Unlimited RR

  • Last Showdown RR&D
  • Nickname: Lost in the Corruption
Extremely enjoyable, would read again. Wait, no! WHAT AM SAYING-
Congratulations.  You've now become a badfic connoissuer!  I'd like to give you some medal or something, but that'd be too overdone here.

Started on second story and...well, I'm having a hard time keeping a straight face about the damn thing.  Especially about Eirin.  I await any new crap to sate my disturbed tastes.
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Just clicked the link to the original and saw
Quote
Talos Angel
Author of 24 Stories

Uh. Just a second...

 :colonveeplusalpha:

Seriously  looking forward to more of these. Really funny, though I did have to try quite hard to resist punching the nearest available person when I read the reviews...

Kips McKipzerson

  • Banned
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  • Nickname: The Kippiest Kip
so, I've got a question.
i've got a giant backlog of horrible fanfiction for you to review, but the thing is I dont know if you want to review fics that no obvious effort was put into, or fics that effort was put into but failed horribley like this
then again this is only if you take recommendations

Tired/Warm

  • Apostatical Verdant Eudaemonaic
  • This is my danmaku.
  • Nickname: Sleepy/Humid
Quote
Congratulations.  You've now become a badfic connoissuer!  I'd like to give you some medal or something, but that'd be too overdone here.

We've got enough medals to snap a christmas tree!...

What does that say about our psyches?  :o

Still, the pleasure of something so terrible is hard to deny.

Awesome sig courtesy of Squawkers23! Thanks!

Oh, you're looking for words? My writing is here.
Do you remember me? I also remember you - and though we haven't met in so many days, I still know you and love your memories. If you stumbled upon this - good luck, in whatever you might do.

TAKE IT CACODEMON!!

  • OKAY THEN I'M A LEGAL AIDE
  • AND ERIN BROCKOVICH IS MY NAAAME
  • Nickname: Jackerel
You should read that guy's Scarlet Pain series.

Oh, and preferably anything by Stripe Pattern or Vrock8. Grimdark at its worst and most terribly written! I can't even tell whatever the Hell Stripe Pattern writes, besides character assassination!
Sonata of Scarlet Sunflowers, a Flandre x Yuuka story. | Laziness of Daemonic Wastrels, wherein The Dude, Frylock, HW Guy, and David Wong get their asses kicked in Gensokyo.  | T.O.U.H.O.U.: Land of Shadows, a S.T.A.L.K.E.R./Touhou crossover. | Abomination, a monster story.

TAKE IT CACODEMON!!

  • OKAY THEN I'M A LEGAL AIDE
  • AND ERIN BROCKOVICH IS MY NAAAME
  • Nickname: Jackerel
yes
Sonata of Scarlet Sunflowers, a Flandre x Yuuka story. | Laziness of Daemonic Wastrels, wherein The Dude, Frylock, HW Guy, and David Wong get their asses kicked in Gensokyo.  | T.O.U.H.O.U.: Land of Shadows, a S.T.A.L.K.E.R./Touhou crossover. | Abomination, a monster story.

Kips McKipzerson

  • Banned
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you know what i hate?
out of character people

you know what i hate even more? out of character people. you know what i hate even more? out of character people.

but seriously anathes got a point we get you dont like grimdarks and i'm glad I wasnt the one who had to say it.

On a side note, Maybe you could read one of Sherlock-H's stuff. By read, I mean cry at how horrible they are.

Tired/Warm

  • Apostatical Verdant Eudaemonaic
  • This is my danmaku.
  • Nickname: Sleepy/Humid
I think if you read some of that guy's stuff, you'd have to do a medley - they're so short. :O Not that length is important, but most seem to be about 150 words or so. I thnik think my reaction has to be something like hahaha PROFESSOR LAYTON NOOOO. Anyway, Rou, we're all just subjectifying - pick your own poison, for your the one who is trudging unto the breach. And what a breach it is. Like, a sewage drainage breach.

Awesome sig courtesy of Squawkers23! Thanks!

Oh, you're looking for words? My writing is here.
Do you remember me? I also remember you - and though we haven't met in so many days, I still know you and love your memories. If you stumbled upon this - good luck, in whatever you might do.

TAKE IT CACODEMON!!

  • OKAY THEN I'M A LEGAL AIDE
  • AND ERIN BROCKOVICH IS MY NAAAME
  • Nickname: Jackerel
On a side note, Maybe you could read one of Sherlock-H's stuff. By read, I mean cry at how horrible they are.

What the Hell.
Sonata of Scarlet Sunflowers, a Flandre x Yuuka story. | Laziness of Daemonic Wastrels, wherein The Dude, Frylock, HW Guy, and David Wong get their asses kicked in Gensokyo.  | T.O.U.H.O.U.: Land of Shadows, a S.T.A.L.K.E.R./Touhou crossover. | Abomination, a monster story.

Kasu

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I...  I can't tell whether I was laughing harder at the commentary or how absolutely bad the fic was.

Either way, keep this up.  This was most enjoyable. :3

Apparently, Thomas the Tank Engine isn't one to take crap from anyone.

XephyrEnigma

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I...  I can't tell whether I was laughing harder at the commentary or how absolutely bad the fic was.

Either way, keep this up.  This was most enjoyable. :3

I think is commentary is gold. You need to do this more, Rou.
Iced-Fairy: "Danmaku is like soccer, except instead of hooligans you get fairies and the riot is before the game." 

My YouTube channel where I often screw about - Latest Upload: IN Border Team Easy Clear

Matsuri

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yes

No, you're not. Cut it out already.

shut the fuck up it's fucking annoying

This doesn't help, either. Just report it and move on.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2011, 02:38:40 am by Tomatsuri Daidouji »
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I'm sure when tomorrow comes, I can change a little, so bye-bye, my stardust tears.
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trancehime

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this isn't even the worst thing she's written, not by a long shot.

Are you telling me all those nightmarish things I read were written by a GIRL?

Talos Angel is a girl?! SUSPENSION OF BELIEF GO

I honestly hope this is just me blatantly misreading your post.

元素召唤 || pad & msl news translator robit
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TAKE IT CACODEMON!!

  • OKAY THEN I'M A LEGAL AIDE
  • AND ERIN BROCKOVICH IS MY NAAAME
  • Nickname: Jackerel
I seriously hope she's a troll, because, unlike My Immortal, it's not very blatant.
Sonata of Scarlet Sunflowers, a Flandre x Yuuka story. | Laziness of Daemonic Wastrels, wherein The Dude, Frylock, HW Guy, and David Wong get their asses kicked in Gensokyo.  | T.O.U.H.O.U.: Land of Shadows, a S.T.A.L.K.E.R./Touhou crossover. | Abomination, a monster story.

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
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  • Nickname: Roukanken
  • Gender: i don't even know anymore

Yakitori

  • Nickname: Teruyo
This fanic that you recently reviewed is on the level of "My Immortal" bad. It's so bad that it's hilarious!

I also really liked your commentary on it. :) Good job!
 

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