Thanks to a wonderful idea by one of our own, MJP, we as a community are going to do something wonderful this holiday season. We are going to run several holiday-themed contests along with a charity donation drive, with the winners deciding what worthy causes we donate to. Deadline for all pledges and entries is 12/20.
Without further ado, I will hand the mic over to MJP with his awesome writeups for our two contests!
Contest 1. WELCOME TO THE FIRST ANNUAL TOUHOU-HO-HO SONGFEST!
Billy! You know what I have to say about hats! Take that thing off or Mr. McCarthy’s going to be MORE than happy to take it from you permanently!
All right, listen up kids, I don’t want to hear any more crap about this being a “Holiday” concert! We’re a diverse school and you’d better believe that I won’t have anyone turning into Judah the Maccabee King and going onto a roid rage to deliver the Christ Child to the blue base! That’s right, the school board has approved funding for the largest Kwanzaa kinara in the West Essex area, and we’re going full equality putting it out on Knight Way with the flamethrower-shammas Chanukah menorah and a Christmas tree made with 100% post-consumer recycled materials. There’s no Christmas tree greener than OUR greenery!
Oh, come on, stop your moaning. It’s not all bad. Guess what they let me throw at you guys?
No, HELL no, we are NOT doing the opening theme from Greatest American Hero, Jim, so shut UP! 1983 was 26 years ago! They are NOT doing a remake, and if they do, you’re damn well betting someone’s getting an angry letter for passing over seaQuest DSV!
They let me make our holidays Touhou-ified! Yeah, how do you lot like that? I know you kids are all about the fairies with frilly clothes and fancy hats! And the songs, oh, the songs!
So here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna start doing some of the classic holiday songs a la Touhou!
There’s lots to celebrate over the holiday season. Whether it’s a celebration of the birth of a very special child, the liberation of a people, coming together to celebrate the people and values in the community around us, or just turning over a new leaf, this is a time when everyone can take comfort in each other and come together in good cheer.
The Songfest is your chance to put your creativity or even your performance skills to work for a good cause! Your mission, should you choose to accept it: rewrite a holiday song to involve Touhou! Whether it’s “Do You See What I See?” dealing with the Three Kings returning Reimu’s missing donation box, “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel” rewritten with Utsuho dealing with baking her little dreidel in the fires of the sun, or “Auld Lang Syne” done even drunkener by Suika, take a classic and rewrite it!
Feel up to caroling or cantoring your way through the contest? Find someone to take your rewritten holiday masterwork and sing it! We’ll do performance rewards! Don’t think you’re American Idol material? Take a shot at impersonating it or just belting it out!
Here’s the best part: we’re doing this for charity! Which one? How about picking it yourself? That’s right: winners get to pick the charities the money goes to!
I’ll be putting up the base amount to start: $80 to go to the winners, $40 to Best Overall, $20 to Best Writing, $20 to Best Performance. That money goes to the charity of your choice! Can’t decide? You can donate your share to a Toys for Tots purchase!
In the spirit of giving, we’re doing a buy-in! You can contribute money to the MotK Donation Box via PayPal to email@example.com and it’ll go towards the total pot, divided evenly in a 2:1:1 ratio! The more you donate, the more goes to a worthy cause! Even if you don’t feel like playing, you can do good this holiday season to a cause that’s always in need of help! But the only way to pick that cause is to play and win! Idiot pantheon positions are also up for grabs, with an ID spot going to Best Overall, and IM spots for Best Writing and Best Performance.
Of course, if you aren’t into singing, rapping (Hey, if someone can do a Touhou mix of Christmas in Hollins, it’d own), or writing…
Contest 2. SHOW YOUR SKILLS! TAKE A SHOT AT THE FIRST ANNUAL TOUHOU TOYS FOR TOTS STYLE COMPETITION!
Ah, yes, Jenkins, do come in. I understand that your double inverse French flip spin twist was rejected by the Ministry of Silly Walks. Pity, the double inverse French is always fertile ground for good walks. So good of you to come all the way to Whitehall’s consulate here. Spot of tea?
Well then, I do suppose you wonder why you were chloroformed, thrown into the belly of a 737, and flown all the way to La Guardia and left on the tarmac in the middle of the night. Indeed, we’ve been asked to liaise with a wonderful cause indeed, done by the United States Marines. “Oorah,” I believe they say? Ah, yes, oorah. Quite literate you are, Jenkins, I knew that HM’s people have been capital in their choices. In any case, the Marines – formidable as they are, their softer sides do show themselves quite nicely – host an annual charity called Toys for Tots. You see, Jenkins, any child loves to celebrate the holidays by giving and receiving gifts. But there’s always those who need a bit of help, and that’s where the Marines come in with their “oorah” and their giving spirit. Toys for Tots is when people donate new toys – not in the wrapping, mind you, we wouldn’t want young Louis getting an American Girl doll unless he’s asked for one in hopes of receiving it – for the holidays.
Pedestrian, you may think? Well, it is quite in the good spirit of the holidays. Freshen your tea? No? In any case, our friends on this side of the pond could use our help. These donations, while in the best spirit and intention, could use a little of the old Ministry oomph.
Here’s the deal:
1) You buy a new toy or toys (Minimum value $10 per toy per Marine regulations – you don’t want to make Gunnery Sgt. Hartman angry!), don’t giftwrap it, and locate your nearest Toys for Tots donation site.
2) You come up with the most creative way of putting that toy in the donation box.
3) You make sure the people who own the donation box or property it’s located are okay with you doing your idea from #2.
4) Get a camera – video is best but a photo montage works, too – and someone to tape/photograph you.
5) Bust it out! Strut your stuff! Come out in costume, do whatever it takes – show off your donation style!
You’re getting judged on style and ideas here – best wins an ID spot!