Genso Monopoly (Sunday 22-05-2011)

[Schezo]

1d6 left.

Stay away from me Orin!

[Stuffman]

Figures. There goes any chance of a comeback :|

[Pesco]

Purvis
The bad news is that you're still laid up in at Eirin's. The good (?) news is that somehow, hell raven radiation and mystic hobo qi have coalesced and combined in your facial hair, allowing you to control it as some sort of prehensile, glass embedded extension of yourself.

You haven't figured out how this is useful, but, dammit, you're going to make it useful.


Dormio
You thought that nothing could make you madder than the fact that Stuffman nuked you, but that bastard across the room managed to do it. You stare at him with rage filled eyes as you try to comfort one of your foxes, despondent and hairless: somehow, that bastard somehow managed to convince the fairy nurses to shave him. He merely sneers back at you, fingers tapping together and mucus dribbling from his nose.


Stuffman
The little frog goddess perched in a chair across from the Yama, slurping from a cup of tea. "I figure I might as well stick around for a few days," she said as she smacked her lips.

Shikieiki, the opposite of Suwako in decorum, hmmed as she sipped daintily from her own teacup. "If you insist, though I'm afraid I won't be able to provide much entertainment." The judge of souls raised an eyebrow at Suwako as she laughed heartily, an interesting sound from someone so slight.

"Are you kidding? I can't imagine what kind of sin that eyeball had to commit to deserve that kind of punishment. I mean, having to mix tuna and chocolate chip cookies in a sandwich?" The judge only looked at her in confusion.

"... That's not punishment, that's just Komachi's lunch."

Suwako froze, and then looked ill. "Ew, seriously? Do you hate that girl?"


Schezo
1d6 = 3
Your lungs are burning as you sprint for your life. Using the last dregs of your energy, you manage to vault over and hide behind a rickety wooden stand, just in time for Orin to blaze by with her cat cart. You take a few moments to catch your breath and wipe sweat from your brow, before looking up at a rabbit with a business suit.

"So, you're here to buy some property?" She barely lets you take time to consider the question before continuing with, "If you aren't, I can just call back that kassha to pick you up..." Instantaneously, your wallet is in your hands and you're counting bills.

[attach=1]

Name	Purvis	Dormio	Stuffman	Schezo
Cash	154'918	116'550	81'975	218'972
Bank	126'056	150'774	96'287	253'315
Faith	50	313	5	65
Cards	Swap body Swap soul Judgement: Balance Mini-Suika team Tewi dice	SDM Moriya Hourai Doll Gap	STOP! HELEPOLIS	Sending of the Spirits My Twuck! Heian Nightmare Hourai doll Shanghai doll
Status	Eirin's (09-03)	Broom Eirin's (09-03)	Nice boat Suwako (08-03) Hell (09-03)	Nice boat

[attach=2]

Reference map for positions when targeting and updating per move.
Card list

[Schezo]

Orin moves after me right?  I she does 3d6.

If she moves first, 1d6

[Hello Purvis]

Figure out how to play a crank organ with beard.


After that, all I need is a dancing monkey, or possibly Rumia.

[Pesco]

Purvis
You've had plenty of free time on your hands, and you've now taught your beard how to stand to attention. If you swing it at just the right angle, wind blows along the surface of the embedded glass and makes a whistling noise. You're a one-man band now. Almost makes up for being nuked, if you think about it.

Dormio
Allergy-man is pulled away for some sort of examination around lunch time. You have the foxes add a few hairy decorations to the pillow, and let them rummage under the bedcovers a bit for good measure. The sight of him shivering and sneezing at full force is like music to your ears. Or is that the hobo in the bed next to you...?

Stuffman
"So what's he up to down there?" Suwako asks curiously. She's never visited Hell before, and she doesn't really know how things are run down here.
Shikieiki takes a moment to think over her response. "We are very fond of irony, Miss Moriya. We think it most fitting for sinners to suffer in accord with the suffering they inflicted on others. For example, your friend Mr. Stuffman blew away hundreds of innocents for the sake of wealth, so he has been trapped inside a room with an endless supply of money."
"Huh? That doesn't seem so bad."
Shikieiki turns to Suwako, straight-faced. "The money is perpetually on fire."
The frog god winces. "Yeah, that doesn't sound fun."

Schezo
3d6 = 7
Can't be safe. Can't be safe. You can hear the creaking sounds of the wheelbarrow as the cat comes from behind you. Hitting the Pretty Fast Speed But Not The Ludicrous Speed Affinity Was Travelling At Earlier button, you put some comfortable distance between you and her. You come to rest in what must once have been a field, but now looks like a barren piece of earth.
You reach into a pocket, pulling out a stock of seeds. This is what Affinity would've done, right?

[attach=1]

Name	Purvis	Dormio	Stuffman	Schezo
Cash	154'918	116'550	81'975	214'972
Bank	126'056	150'774	96'287	253'315
Faith	50	313	5	65
Cards	Swap body Swap soul Judgement: Balance Mini-Suika team Tewi dice	SDM Moriya Hourai Doll Gap	STOP! HELEPOLIS	Sending of the Spirits My Twuck! Heian Nightmare Hourai doll Shanghai doll
Status	Eirin's (09-03)	Broom Eirin's (09-03)	Nice boat Suwako (08-03) Hell (09-03)	Nice boat

[attach=2]

Reference map for positions when targeting and updating per move.
Card list

[Dormio Ergo Sum]

I thought the allergic patient was a her.

Either way, they got what was coming to them.

And that hobo has a really cool way of playing music.

[Schezo]

Oh crap she's still coming!

3d6 again.

Buy 500 Yuyu Co.  Edit: and Sell them Bunbunmaru's

[Stuffman]

AHHHH IT BURNS IT BURNS

I'M TRYING TO PUT IT IN MY POCKETS REGARDLESS

Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait. Isn't the yama a kind of goddess? TIME TO PUT THE MOVES ON.

"Eiki-sama, I've realized you're right. I feel terrible for mistreating all those girls. Will you teach me to love again?"

[FinnKaenbyou]

Purvis
You have written yourself a masterpiece. You call it "The Hobo's Holiest Fugue, In B [eard] Major". The gentle whistles of your facial hair on the wind are enough to calm the hearts of every patient in the room and make them forget their pain.

Dormio
This, of course, pisses you off. You mutter to a nurse besides you that the hobo needs a good shave. She agrees, but efforts to cut the hair fail miserably as the scissors snap. Goddammit, the allergy guy is SMILING right now!

Stuffman
Suwako shrugs.
"Well, think I've seen everything I need to here. I've got a shrine to run, so if you don't mind..."
The goddess hops off back to the surface world, leaving you in that burning box of capitalist symbolism. As much as being around money satisfies you, it's leaving some awful burn marks on your hat. Time to get out of here.
"Eiki-sama, I've realized you're right. I feel terrible for mistreating all those girls. Will you teach me to love again?"
You can hear Shikieiki gasp from above you. Then, a gulp. A sigh. A muttered sentence.
"...Perhaps I should show compassion for a change."
She pulls some sort of lever besides her, and the unbearable flames become simply warm. Welcoming, almost. At least you can sleep tonight.

Schezo
Journalism? It's dead. You want nothing to do with it anymore. Now, food, on the other hand...
3d6 = 5
The engine's acting up, apparently - despite hitting the Go Really Freaking Fast button, you are not Going Really Freaking Fast. In fact, you're so slow you barely outspeed the oni trying to goad you into a drinking game you're never going to win. Then again, you've found more untouched property, so huzzah!

[attach=1]

Name	Purvis	Dormio	Stuffman	Schezo
Cash	154'918	116'550	81'975	212'972
Bank	126'056	150'774	96'287	207'030
Faith	50	313	5	65
Cards	Swap body Swap soul Judgement: Balance Mini-Suika team Tewi dice	SDM Moriya Hourai Doll Gap	STOP! HELEPOLIS	Sending of the Spirits My Twuck! Heian Nightmare Hourai doll Shanghai doll
Status	Eirin's (09-03)	Broom Eirin's (09-03)	Nice boat Hell (09-03)	Nice boat

[attach=2]

Reference map for positions when targeting and updating per move.
Card list

[Schezo]

What is wrong with this thing!? 

Give my boat a chance to cool off a bit with 2d6

Edit: That cat's making me paranoid, I'll buy 4000 Higan Security.

[Pesco]

Purvis
You walk out of the hospital at last surrounded by raucous applause. Your music has won the hearts of all your fellow patients, as well as the doctors and nurses who tend you. Rumours are abound that you have actually cured several wards of illness, though you can't confirm this.
There's a spring in your step roughly until the glass falls out of your hair. GODDAMMIT.

Dormio
Suddenly...it just stops. The sneezing, the sniffling, the allergy in general. He's just...healed, as if by magic. You order your foxes to retreat, frustrated.
Personally, you blame the hobo.

Stuffman
You pass the occasional promise to be good and insistence that you are really really sorry through the trapdoor you fell through. Eiki caves in after a long, hard, fight, opening the door and allowing you to pull yourself back up.
Conveniently, your ship is still here, though there's a note on it saying 'Sorry, Hell isn't really that interesting. Off to go convert the masses tend the shrine. -Suwako'

Schezo
2d6 = 6
Strangely, you move faster at the slow pace than you do at the face pace. Goddamn kappa engineering.
You see a familiar hand blocking your path as you park in front of your mansion. Sure enough, just like you paid him to do, a vaguely Dutch-looking man pops out from behind it and holds out his hand.
"STOP! You cannot ride this boat publically! It's too similar to Komachi's! You're infringing shinigami copyright!"
With all his talking you don't have any chance of getting past...not that you were going to, anyway. Well, may as well upgrade the mansion while you're at it.

[attach=1]

Name	Purvis	Dormio	Stuffman	Schezo
Cash	154'918	116'550	81'975	210'972
Bank	126'056	150'774	96'287	89'230
Faith	50	313	5	65
Cards	Swap body Swap soul Judgement: Balance Mini-Suika team Tewi dice	SDM Moriya Hourai Doll Gap	STOP! HELEPOLIS	Sending of the Spirits My Twuck! Heian Nightmare Hourai doll Shanghai doll
Status	None	Broom	Nice boat	Nice boat

[attach=2]

Reference map for positions when targeting and updating per move.
Card list

[Dormio Ergo Sum]

Well, on the bright side, at least I got better too.
And there are always other ways to annoy that guy.
2d6.
Let's hope for an 8 to meet Sanae, again.

[Hello Purvis]

1d6.

Keep the glass. It might be good for throwing at some railroad bull.

[Stuffman]

Oh, Minoriko is over there...maybe I should go talk to her. But! It looks like Orin sent that Schezo guy running! There's still a lot of property to claim! What to do!?

Wait, what was that advice my great grandfather gave me for situations like this?

==>Stuffman: Fondly recall great grandfather's wisdom.



Right! 1d6 up we go.

Also, enforce a sukumizu dress code among the kappa operating my B-Ship.

[Schezo]

1d6

Let's see if we can convince someone from the shrine to come and help us.

And to the bitch about to rob me: Getcherown!  I already go robbed blind by someone channeling your spirit.

Edit: and did Orin like teleport or what?

[FinnKaenbyou]

Purvis
1d6 = 2
You spend perhaps too long rummaging around the ground, trying to pick up the fallen pieces of glass. Before you realise it, the fox across from you has a sizable head start in terms of recovering the properties in the Ravaged East. Fortunately, you've got a few fellow patients willing to offer respect for your miracles!
[You receive 50 faith!]

Dormio
2d6 = 7
You apologise profusely to Mr. Allergies for your rude behaviour during your time in hospital. As an apology, you offer him an all-expenses paid trip to your personal amusement park, the Heian Alien. His eyes light up, and he accepts on the spot.
The sound of him screaming as the Absolute Justice coaster suddenly curves in some unnatural direction makes up for all this week's disappointment.

Stuffman
As it turns out, there wasn't much to enforce. The kappa just take off the top layers of their uniforms, revealing sukumizus underneath. When asked why they were already wearing swimsuits, they simply reply 'in case the ship sinks, duh'.
(

Spoiler:

The flavour writer is now watching much more intently.

)
1d6=2
The kappa seem confused - now they're in swimwear, they have to fight the natural urge to put the boat out at sea where it belongs. Progress is consequently slow, so you still have a chance to change your mind in the choice between love or mon-oh who am I kidding go break Minoriko's heart again.
[Minoriko's tender feelings reach you even from here, granting you 30 faith!]

Schezo
1d6 = 1
Y'know, in retrospect, maybe you paid Hele too well. Now he's telling you to stay behind because apparently you have a speech to prepare or something like that. Naturally, seizing on this opportunity, Marisa robs you [again]. On the bright side, this means more time refurbishing the mansion, so...yay?

[attach=1]

Name	Purvis	Dormio	Stuffman	Schezo
Cash	154'918	113'550	81'975	197'972
Bank	126'056	150'774	96'287	89'230
Faith	100	313	35	65
Cards	Swap body Swap soul Judgement: Balance Mini-Suika team Tewi dice	SDM Moriya Hourai Doll Gap	STOP! HELEPOLIS	Sending of the Spirits My Twuck! Heian Nightmare Hourai doll Shanghai doll
Status	None	Broom	Nice boat	Nice boat

[attach=2]

Reference map for positions when targeting and updating per move.
Card list

[Stuffman]

oh who am I kidding go break Minoriko's heart again.

WITH GUSTO.

1d6 up. Also, pull $20000 out of the bank as I pass it.

[Dormio Ergo Sum]

I guess I'll just take it easy and 1d6.

[Hello Purvis]

1d6

[Schezo]

1d6.

If I get a 6 don't go to Reimu and deal with Orin I guess. :ohdear:  Other wise go down Reimu's path.

Seriously though.  How did Orin move 11 spaces between 9-03-2010 and 10-03-2010?

[Stuffman]

Seriously though.  How did Orin move 11 spaces between 9-03-2010 and 10-03-2010?

She didn't. The free card space and the space with my house on it are connected.

[Pesco]

Purvis
1d6 = 1
"Hiiiiii!"
Oh, no. Oh no oh no oh no. Not her, not her, please not her-
WHAM!
"Oh, Purvis, dearie! I heard you were in the hospital, and I just had to see if you were okay! How's my little hobo? How is heeeeeee?"
Hina hugs you and twirls you at the same time. Money flies out of your wallet as she spins you around, and you're too busy being held to grab it.
[You lose 18066 cash to Hina!]

"Ahem. If you two are done?"
A fox is glaring at you, looking unpleased. Apparently, not only are you trespassing on Dormio's property, you're showing overt displays of public affection, which adds an extra fine. Hina looks to you expectantly.
"Well? You're the rich one, right? You can pay for all of this."
Deep down, you want to cry a little.
[Purvis -> 3000 [400 base * 5 for 5 properties in the row * 1.5 for Hina] -> Dormio and Hina]

Dormio
"No, you should stay another day! I insist."
You give Allergy Man tickets to every ride in the park - all the rollercoasters, the Minamitsu Ghost Ship, Kogasa's Haunted House, and [predictably] Nazrin's Mouse Palace, where he once again bursts into a sneezing fit.
Best. Customer. Ever.

Stuffman
Minoriko: Disregarded.
20000 Units Of Currency: Acquired.
1d6 = 5
Well, it took you a week longer than you'd expected, but at long last you've managed to rob someone of their eastern properties. A large plot is now yours, and just in case you leave a member of the ship crew to stand guard here.
Somewhere deep down, your heart aches a little. Was it right to abandon Minoriko? To turn down the woman who loved you more than anything else in the world, just for the sake of money?
...Wait, for money? Silly question. Great-Grandpa was never wrong!

Schezo
1d6 = 4
You hear a sharp clamping sound from the back of the ship. Immediately afraid that something's happened to the innards, you look out the back, and are relieved to see it's only a white wolf tengu looking for something to eat. Clearly your boat was a little too nice for her, and she stumbles back home missing at least half of her teeth.
Maybe you should hold onto some of these. Maybe they're a good luck charm or something?
[You gain 10 faith!]

[attach=1]

Name	Purvis	Dormio	Stuffman	Schezo
Cash	133'852	109'050	96'975	197'972
Bank	126'056	152'774	76'287	89'230
Faith	100	313	35	75
Cards	Swap body Swap soul Judgement: Balance Mini-Suika team Tewi dice	SDM Moriya Hourai Doll Gap	STOP! HELEPOLIS	Sending of the Spirits My Twuck! Heian Nightmare Hourai doll Shanghai doll
Status	Hina (18-03)	Broom	Nice boat	Nice boat

Reference map for positions when targeting and updating per move.
Card list

[Hello Purvis]

1d6 all the way.

[Dormio Ergo Sum]

Clearly I must drag this guy with me to meet Nazrin.
1d6

[Schezo]

(Oh the one part of the map I didn't get how it worked.  Thanks.)

Daww, no Kanako.  Alright, to avoid that Hina incident that just happened to Purvis let's 3d6 past Raymoo like nothing.

[Stuffman]

Keep sailing along at 1d6, try to grab another property.

No stocks on the weekend, so it's a pretty slow day. I ponder rewriting the lyrics to Yellow Submarine to fit my Green Battleship, but decide it's just not as catchy.

[Pesco]

Oh fux I made a mistake and overcharged Purv by a hugelot last turn. It will be rectified.

Purvis
1d6 = 5
There's a kappa here, clad in a very unthreatening sukumizu. She holds her hand out in front of you threateningly.
"Halt! This property is under the ownership of Mr. Stuffman. Pay the toll, or suffer the consequences."
This kappa thinks she can stop you? You pay her no mind, walking o-wait what's she pulling out of her hand OH CRAP THAT ARM IS EXTENDING REALLY FA-
"Like I said. Feel like paying?"
Given that she's grabbed you by the labcoat, you really don't have a choice in the matter. Hina looks onward, amused. She's surprisingly friendly with the kappa, but from what you've seen she's surprisingly friendly to everyone.
[Purvis -> 600 -> Stuffman and Hina]

Dormio
1d6 = 3
"Lemme in! I just wanna beat up your boss, that's all!"
Tenshi is standing at the door to Eientei. You wisely keep your distance, standing well away and watching from afar.
From behind you, a multitude of tiny rabbit hands lift you up and haul you away before you can speak! The next thing you know, Tewi is looking down on you with disappointment.
"No, you idiots! When I said to bring me the troublemaker outside, I meant the other one! Dammit, this mistake is coming out of your wages!"
Her finger is pointing straight at you, and on command one of the rabbits pinches your wallet!
[Dormio -> 30,000 -> Schezo]
Tewi's not going to let people know about this screwup right away. Hope you enjoy a free bed here!

Stuffman
1d6 = 4
"Nyaaa..."
The ship has a cat? That was never part of the deal. You complain to one of the kappa, but they seem pretty fond of the thing.
"We have altered the deal. Pray we don't alter it any further."
With that, the kappa gets back to whatever her job is, leaving you with a shikigami to look after. You sigh, wondering how much cat food costs nowadays...
[You lose 4000 cash paying for Chen's dinner.]

Schezo
3d6 = 8
A piece of paper on the ground? You vaguely recall Affinity saying not to trust things like this, but what could possibly go wrong?
Dear Lucky Donator:
By reading this agreement, you agree to agree with this agreement regardless of whether you actually agree with this agreement. You will henceforth become the Hakurei Shrine's greatest donator and will rewarded with the Right To Not Be Beaten To Death With A Stick.
Much thanks, Reimu Hakurei
Well, this sucks. You'd better get out of here before-
"Ahem."
...she's standing right behind you, isn't she.
"Thank you for your donations~"
[You have summoned Reimu! You promptly lose 52344 cash and pay double on all expenses for the next 6 days. Have fun! ]


[attach=1]

Name	Purvis	Dormio	Stuffman	Schezo
Cash	133'252	79'050	92'975	145'628
Bank	126'056	152'774	76'287	119'230
Faith	100	313	35	65
Cards	Swap body Swap soul Judgement: Balance Mini-Suika team Tewi dice	SDM Moriya Hourai Doll Gap	STOP! HELEPOLIS	Sending of the Spirits My Twuck! Heian Nightmare Hourai doll Shanghai doll
Status	Hina (18-03)	Broom Eientei (13-03)	Nice boat	Nice boat Reimu (18-03)

Reference map for positions when targeting and updating per move.
Card list

[Dormio Ergo Sum]

[Dormio -> 30,000 -> Schezo]

All I want to do is punch his face and sell a couple of his organs... D:

Schezo
[You have summoned Reimu! You promptly lose 52344 cash and pay double on all expenses for the next 6 days. Have fun!

At least it's not all doom and gloom.


2d6
I am not landing on this plot again, nor am I going close to m-ko.
FFFFFFFFFF Miss a turn.

[Hello Purvis]

1d6. Discuss the vices and virtues of various hobo vintages.