Author Topic: Cyberpunk Gensokyo  (Read 7878 times)

Moerin

  • What's punk? It's an explosion of suppressed dissatisfaction.
  • It's the roar of the soul!
Cyberpunk Gensokyo
« on: November 25, 2010, 07:48:17 PM »
Well, seems like I've been tasked to write either cyberpunk or NetHack versions of Gensokyo, and seeing how I'm more familiar with cyberpunk, I decided to roll with that.  Be aware that I generally equate cyberpunk with "dark", so... Yeah, this has the potential to be somewhat bleaker than the other stuff I've written.  Anyways, here goes!



The girl sat in the corner, head between her knees, arms hugging her legs.  She sat there, twitching, at times only occasionally, at others violently, thrashing around, ranting and screaming at some invisible phantom.

get out get out get out get out

She rolled over the floor, tears rolling down her cheeks as she grasped tightly to her skull, repeating the same thing over and over again like some kind mantra of madness.

get out get out get out get out get out GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!

Her fingers clawed at the side of her head, pulling on the red cables sticking out from either side.  Unable to remove them, she instead grasped the scarlet orb they were both attached to and began banging it against the floor like a woman possessed.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!  GET OUT!  OUT!  LEAVE ME ALONE!

Soon, very soon, she gave up on assaulting the orb, and stared at the data terminal in the middle of the room, the screen still flickering with light.

Please... Go away... Get out...

Slowly, she got to her feet, and shambled towards the nearest door.  She shuffled zombielike across the balcony, rain lashing down around her as she grasped desperately to the rail.

Why... Why won't you go away?  Get out... Of my head... Leave me alone...

The rain and the madness combined to make the entire world seem like a blur.  The bright lights of the city hurt her head, but not as much as what was inside her.  Not as much as what she'd seen, what she'd unwittingly put inside herself.  It was supposed to have been a routine assignment, nothing more!  Just routine!  It wasn't supposed to end like this!

But... She'd stumbled across something she hadn't expected.  A dark secret that even now ate away at her mind, abusing the very implants she'd had put in place to help her stop this kind of thing happening to someone else to rape her thoughts and rip apart her very sanity.

I... I'm sorry.  Koishi... I hope you can forgive me... But I can't take this anymore... It hurts... Too much...

She gulped in fear, one hand still cradling her aching head whilst the other gripped tightly to the rail.  There was no other option in her mind.  This was the only way, there was nothing else she could do.  She just wanted rid of the pain, rid of.. The voice, that terrible, terrible voice.

And so, she jumped.

It took a while to reach the ground.  Thirty stories was a long way to fall, and with the pain in her head, it felt like an eternity.  But eventually it all came to an end.  The grimy pavement hurtled closer and closer towards her, closer, closer, ever closer, until...

The sound of flesh hitting tarmac with such velocity was sickening.  Blood oozed out from underneath a shape that was once a remarkably pretty young woman, but now, with every bone shattered so suddenly, was little more than a crumpled pile of meat.

Satori Komeiji passed away at 23:04.  Cause of death: Suicide.  Jumped off the thirtieth floor of Chireiden Apartments, East Gensokyo, for unknown reasons.

***

Gensokyo.  The land of fantasy.  A festering wound in the rotting cadaver that was New Japan.  And what a joke that was.  "New Japan"... As though appending the name like that would distract her residents from the fact that ever since the war ended, everything was slowly spiralling down on a one way trip towards Hell.

The city lights gleamed as bright as they could, but they could never fully pierce through the thick smog clouds that clung to the towering skyscrapers like a cancer to the lungs of a chronic smoker.  Every day, hundreds died pointless and meaningless deaths in this sickening piece of suburbia, but until now, none of them had ever mattered to me.

Name's Komeiji, by the way.  Koishi Komeiji.  Detective Koishi Komeiji, actually, of the cybercrimes division of the Gensokyo Police Force, which is yet another joke.  And three nights ago, my sister died.  Hurled herself down thirty stories.  I would be lying if I said that didn't sting a bit.

But now wasn't the time for mourning.  Y'see, before she... Well, you know... My sister was working on a case.  She was a cop too, see.  Pretty much the reason I got into the force.  I idolized my big sister.  I wanted to be just like her, which is why I let them drill a couple of holes in my skull and wire my brain to a portable computer.  But yeah, this case... It was nothing special, really.  Just an investigation into corporate corruption, nothing big.  Apparently some folks over at Ichigo Corp were embezzling funds into some personal project.  Whatever it was, it seemed like she was really onto something before she... Ahem.

"I just don't get it..." sighed Chief Kotohime, scanning through Satori's notes on her dataport as she walked beside me, her long red ponytail bobbing up and down with each step.  "She didn't seem to be troubled when she left the station last night... What makes a girl like her through it all away like that?  Oh, um..." She stopped and looked at me apologetically.  "I'm sorry if this is troubling you, Komeiji."

"No, it's fine, chief.  Talking about it is sometimes the best way to cope with loss.  But thanks for the concern."  I tried to smile back to reassure her, but I must have given the wrong impression, as she just ended up looking even more worried.  Guess I have that kind of smile, huh.  "Um... Well, Satori was... Always pretty good at hiding what she really felt.  Good trait for a cop, not so good at... Other times."  I laughed, but it was a hollow laugh, devoid of any actual emotion.  We both stood awkwardly in silence for a few moments after that.

The silence was broken by a green haired girl wearing an old fashioned maid uniform, and a steaming mug.  "Mistress, your coffee is ready." she chirped in a melodic, but ultimately mechanical fashion.  Her outfit coupled with the generally artificialness of her appearance and her stiff movements easily marked her out as a Ruukoto, one of the many identical robot servants manufactured by Ichigo Corp.

"Oh, um, thank you," the chief replied, taking the mug from the Ruukoto and blowing on the steam rising from it.

The Ruukoto stiffly bowed at an exact forty five degree angle, and chirped again.  "If you are in need of anything else, please let me know."

"Um... No, that'll be all for now.  You're dismissed."  And with that, the Ruukoto performed the perfect bow once again and marched away, her mechanical joints whirring with every step.

"Those things give me the creeps," muttered the chief, when she was sure the robot was out of earshot, before sipping from her mug.  "Ugh... And they can't make coffee to save themselves..."

Not wanting to be deprived of her precious caffiene, however, she continued to drink the revolting coffee as we walked to her office, gagging on every mouthful.  She sat behind her desk, and beckoned me to sit opposite her.

"Now, Komeiji, I know it's a bit too soon, but I've been asked by the higher ups to ask you a few things about your sister," she said, clasping her hands in front of her and trying to sound as sympathetic as possible.  "Are you okay with that?"

I nodded.  In all honesty, it was probably better to get this over with as soon as possible.  I tried to smile as I answered all of her questions, which turned out to just be stuff about her childhood, and whether she'd ever been depressed before, and the like.

"Well, that's that taken care of, I guess," the chief sighed, and slumped back in her chair.  "Komeiji... I'm really, honestly sorry about what happened.  Your sister was a damn fine cop, and it's a shame to lose someone like that."

I responded by merely nodding.  As much as I missed Satori, the amount of condolences being thrown at me already was starting to annoy me.  "Is there anything else, chief?"

"Well..." the chief leaned forward, clasping her hands again.  "There was one other thing."  She handed me the dataport she had been scanning through earlier.  "I know it's highly unorthodox, but I want you to pick up where your sister left off.  Normally we wouldn't do such a thing, but seeing how you're the only other cop we have with that implant..."  She stared at the blue ball sitting on my lap, her eyes running up the cables protruding from it that stuck into either side of my head.

I could understand why no-one else currently in the force had one of these other than me and my late sister.  Not many people are exactly enamoured with the thought of having a computer terminal wired directly into their brain, after all.  Implants in general were a rather iffy subject in Gensokyo, but this was a completely different beast than some of the other stuff you see nowadays.  No, this was an Ichigo Corp Third Eye, an invaluable tool in my line of work.  See, with this little ball drilled into my cortex, I had instant wireless access to any network I could get within range of.  Not only that, but I could... Well, it's difficult to explain how it works, but it makes cracking into encrypted files a whole lot easier, at the expense of making them a thousand times trippier than normal.

"I see.  So you want me to take up the case, then."  I idly flicked through some of the files on the dataport.  "Won't Commisioner Yama-whatever throw a hissy fit over this being against regulations, though?"

"I'm... Sure I'll get her to understand once she realizes you're the only other cop we have with the... Necessary abilities to pick this up, Komeiji."  She then suddenly leaned closer to me, and spoke in a hushed whisper.  "There's one more thing I need to tell you, though.  It may prove important to the case."

"And what's that?" I murmured, half-paying attention to her as I browsed the dataport.

"Your sister... Hasn't been the only strange suicide recently.  Several Ichigo Corp employees have also killed themselves over the past few weeks.  I can't be sure, but there's a chance there might be a connection."
« Last Edit: December 28, 2010, 07:13:00 PM by Moerin »
The solution to all of life's problems!

#1 Rin Satsuki Fan~♥
"For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight... Love Conquers All -  with violet light!"

HakureiSM

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Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2010, 07:59:34 PM »
Theorist, ilu.
[20:45:19] Ciryano: come and behold why they call it the Panzerfaust
[20:45:39] Hakurei Reimu: ... because it shoots once and then you throw it out?
                                                                                   .

Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2010, 09:00:26 PM »
Transition is great with great use of flashbacks and the flow is smooth.

But then, what do I know... I'm not that great at writing, myself.

Moerin

  • What's punk? It's an explosion of suppressed dissatisfaction.
  • It's the roar of the soul!
Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2010, 09:34:37 PM »
But then, what do I know... I'm not that great at writing, myself.
Okay, I'm gonna drop the whole boastful bravado act and be serious for a moment.  Y'see, a lot of the best writers out there are the ones who think that they're writing utter trash.  They're the ones with the drive to better themselves and try to push the boundaries in an attempt to make it reach their own standards, unlike the ones who think they're the greatest writers in the world, who... Tend to screw up horribly more often than not because they're convinced of their own superiority and don't bother to try and make their work better at all.

...That was horribly phrased, probably, but what I'm trying to say is you don't know until you try, and if you don't like what you write initially, you can try harder next time.  I do look forward to seeing what you can come up with, really.  I'm sure if you try hard enough you'll get something at least half-decent down.  Really, all you need to succeed is hard work and a bit of courage to get your stuff out there and take whatever criticism is thrown at you well.  Yes, the key to victory is always, always HARD WORK AND GUTS.  8)

...Ahem.

Theorist, ilu.
:blush: ilu too Haku~
The solution to all of life's problems!

#1 Rin Satsuki Fan~♥
"For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight... Love Conquers All -  with violet light!"

Alfred F. Jones

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Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2010, 10:07:40 PM »
There's... a certain scene in White Rose that this scene reminds me of.

Oh god. ;_;

I don't mean this in a bad way, though-- by all means, keep writing. You have my full attention.

Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2010, 10:14:41 PM »
Okay, I'm gonna drop the whole boastful bravado act and be serious for a moment.  Y'see, a lot of the best writers out there are the ones who think that they're writing utter trash.  They're the ones with the drive to better themselves and try to push the boundaries in an attempt to make it reach their own standards, unlike the ones who think they're the greatest writers in the world, who... Tend to screw up horribly more often than not because they're convinced of their own superiority and don't bother to try and make their work better at all.

...That was horribly phrased, probably, but what I'm trying to say is you don't know until you try, and if you don't like what you write initially, you can try harder next time.  I do look forward to seeing what you can come up with, really.  I'm sure if you try hard enough you'll get something at least half-decent down.  Really, all you need to succeed is hard work and a bit of courage to get your stuff out there and take whatever criticism is thrown at you well.  Yes, the key to victory is always, always HARD WORK AND GUTS.  8)

...Ahem.

Thanks. I do appreciate your positive feedback and will try my best to whip something up(hopefully by tomorrow). Reason for me believing that is my inconsistency to do even adequate in any English course. Most of my writing have been either unoriginal or bland causing myself to receive low marks. And the SAT and Collegeboard hasn't been a great motivational factor in my writing skills.

Anyways enough of that, I'll definitely try to make something good. Writing has never been my forte but I guess it could be I gave a rat's ass about it due to the many rules and boundaries I was given for uninteresting prompts in school.

Anyways, I do enjoy reading your story and hope that you will continue to expand it to a multitude of chapters. I am certainly curious to know who this mysterious phantom is and the cause of the whole mystery.

Godspeed.

nintendonut888

  • So those that live now, pledge on your fists and souls
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Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2010, 10:49:50 PM »
Interesting. I look forward to seeing more.
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Baity: For a moment, I thought you broke 1.1billion. Upon looking at my score.dat, I can assume that you destroyed the score that is my failed (first!) 1cc attempt on my first day of playing. Congratulations.

[19:42] <Sapz> I think that's the only time I've ever seen a suicide bullet shoot its own suicide bullet

OkashiiKisei

  • Still working on the Grimoire
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Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2010, 11:35:57 PM »
I don't like Touhous being killed off, but other than that it's fine.

Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2010, 11:49:05 PM »
I don't like Touhous being killed off, but other than that it's fine.
It's cyberpunk: there's probably an AI Satori running around now.

Kasu

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Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2010, 12:54:45 AM »
This has unexpectedly captured my interest. :3

Apparently, Thomas the Tank Engine isn't one to take crap from anyone.

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2010, 02:02:16 AM »
;-;

Satoriiiiiiiiiiii

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

;-;

MOERIN YOU BETTER MAKE THIS A GODDAMN AWESOME STORY OR I WILL WRITE A VERY ANGRY NOTE DIRECTED AT YOU DETAILING JUST HOW UNSATISFIED I AM WITH THIS

Marokuu

  • Maru~ Maru~
  • Lurk~ Lurk~
Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2010, 11:03:01 AM »
;-;

Satoriiiiiiiiiiii

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

;-;

MOERIN YOU BETTER MAKE THIS A GODDAMN AWESOME STORY OR I WILL WRITE A VERY ANGRY NOTE DIRECTED AT YOU DETAILING JUST HOW UNSATISFIED I AM WITH THIS
My thoughts right here, but more timidly, without caps

Satori ;_;


Edit: Hrm... I mean I will hold you to that Tokkiko
« Last Edit: November 26, 2010, 11:05:44 AM by Okuu »
My first attempt at storywriting, looking for critique

Avatar schizophrenia? I don't know what you're talking about.

Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2010, 08:39:29 PM »
Satoriiiiii ;_;

Koishi has some big shoes to fill. (no I'm not saying Satori has big feet)

Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #13 on: November 26, 2010, 08:56:25 PM »
I'm still curious to how you are going to fix up this story to make it to the 2k word mark. Are you going to continue on with the story or add more details? Oh please do continue on with the story. Koshi <3

Moerin

  • What's punk? It's an explosion of suppressed dissatisfaction.
  • It's the roar of the soul!
Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2010, 08:22:52 PM »
I stepped out into the streets of Gensokyo from the grubby little police station, each step accompanied by the squish and squelch of the grime encrusting the pavement.  Squish, squish.  Squish, squish.  A sordid mixture of dirt, grease and blood (and possibly other bodily fluids, but I'd rather not think too deeply into that) covered nearly every square inch of the ground like the icing upon a filth-infested cake.  I sighed deeply, and would have choked and gagged on the air were it not for the fact that I, like most inhabitants of the city, had long since gotten used to taking in all my daily minerals in one breath.  Not surprisingly, lung cancer was one of the fastest growing causes of death here (well, natural death anyway).

It was fast approaching noon, although you couldn't really see it.  The smog clouds blocked out most of the sunlight, and the rest was taken care of by the skyscrapers.  Apparently back in the day, such things could be glittering, shining towers like something out of a fairy tale, but I personally couldn't see that ever being the case.  Guess it's because I've lived all my life surrounded by these corroded, decaying spires, reaching up to the sky desperately like the residents of Hell reached up futilely to try and touch the light of Heaven, which was forever denied from them.  The numerous neon lights gaudily clinging to the sides of the towers might have been an attempt to get them to look more like how they supposedly were back before the war, but all they really did was make them even more of an eyesore.

And they all looked the same, too.  No matter what the function or purpose of the building, from the outside it looked the same as it's neighbours, although maybe with a giant glowing billboard proclaiming what it was in huge letters and that the sign had been made by Ichigo Corp in even bigger letters.  Unless they happened to be Ichigo Corp headquarters, but thankfully there was only one of those in Gensokyo, an eyesore to end all eyesores, a great glowing red cross, imposingly towering over every other building in the city.  Just like how Ichigo Corp towered over everything else in Gensokyo.  They made everything, they powered everything, they ran everything.  Even mayor Yakumo was rumoured to be in the pay of Ichigo Corp.  Nothing happened in Gensokyo without them knowing.  Nothing.  Omnipresent and all powerful, Ichigo Corp was Gensokyo.  Remember how earlier I said the police force was a joke?  Thank Ichigo Corp for that.  So many of the great crime gangs of Gensokyo were in their pay that it was nigh-impossible to charge anyone with anything.  Corruption was the core of Gensokyo, and sitting in the core of the corruption was Ichigo Corp.  Compared to this all-powerful corruption, the police were little more than a novelty act.

Corruption was pretty much the lifeblood of Gensokyo, so it didn't surprise me at all that Satori had stumbled onto corruption in Ichigo Corp.  I made another quick scan of the dataport as I walked towards my apartment.  Nothing big or important, really, just something about embezzling funds, and some unlicensed off-hours use of data terminals, nothing too interesting or uncommon.  There were only really two notable things in my sister's notes.  Firstly, that she had been quick to initially point the finger at vice president Kitashirakawa, although after further investigation she began to doubt her involvement.  The other... I couldn't tell, as the file had been encrypted.  Guess I knew what I'd be doing this evening then, huh.

I was still a few minutes walk from my apartment after checking Satori's notes, so I decided to have a look at the list of suicides the chief had gave me.  And almost instantly, I came to an astonishing realization about them.  They didn't seem linked in any way!  Deckard slit his throat, Case shot himself in the head, Kusanagi... Suffice to say, it was rather unpleasant...  Kawashiro had seemingly disappeared off the face of the Earth, Komeiji threw herself off a skyscraper...

I winced slightly at seeing my sister's name there.  It was... Somewhat upsetting to be reminded so casually of the fact that I'd never see her again.  I wasn't exactly an emotional girl.  The other cops in the force used to joke that I'd closed my heart to emotion, and it wasn't exactly hard to see why.  I never really showed fear, or anger, or sadness, or joy at any occasion, whether I was on the job or not.  My own sister joked about it at times, calling me "The Closed Eyes of Love" after an old family legend.  It's not that I was incapable of emotion, I just... Never really saw the point, to be honest.  It was a coping mechanism, I guess, a way to deal with the harsh, unforgiving world I was born into by becoming as detached and distant as I could.  If anyone who had known me could see me now, they'd have been shocked to see that the closed eyes could still cry, even if only a little.

After wiping the slight dampness from my eyes, I entered the apartment and immediately poured myself a hot cup of synth-tea.  I needed to scour these notes as in-depth as possible if I was ever going to solve this case.  This was going to be a long night.




Well, shorter than last time, and it's mostly just to set the scene, but... Ahem.  Thanks for all the positive feedback.  I was a little worried that killing off Satori at the very beginning would garner me some hate, but it's nice to see it worked out okay~

Oh, and I'm probably gonna at least try to write more of this even after the challenge is over, in case anyone was wondering.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2010, 08:27:29 PM by Moerin »
The solution to all of life's problems!

#1 Rin Satsuki Fan~♥
"For hearts long lost and full of fright, for those alone in blackest night, accept our ring and join our fight... Love Conquers All -  with violet light!"

Marokuu

  • Maru~ Maru~
  • Lurk~ Lurk~
Re: [IM Challenge] Cyberpunk Gensokyo (needs a better name)
« Reply #15 on: December 01, 2010, 10:31:17 AM »
I was a little worried that killing off Satori at the very beginning would garner me some hate
Oh I hate you for that alright, but I'm gonna give you the benefit of a doubt that this will turn completely awesome.
I really liked how you got Koishi's closed heart and "The Closed Eyes of Love" in there.
My first attempt at storywriting, looking for critique

Avatar schizophrenia? I don't know what you're talking about.