How Have You Changed?

[偶然の妖精陰陽師]

I have changed a lot in my life, and it was happening in stages.

1. Childhood Stage
Age 0-10
Inner Avatar: none

In these long years, I was nothing, but a child. Not a common one, I was always considered to be asocial, and I was tend to play with my hands rather than playing with others. Of course, my hands were only just a tool to play out my own stories or video games.
I consider the end of this stage when I reached my 10th year, and first said "This world is wrong, and I don't belong to it."

2. Conscious Stage
Age 10-13
Inner Avatar: Will the Wanderer, a humanoid, but non-human creature, who wandered the world, embodying my naturally free spirit, urges about freedom.

In these years, puberty hit, so I kinda gone crazy like everyone else. My hatred for the World and Life have appeared, but it wasn't that bad, I was bright, happy and had friends. While I was playing videogames since I was 5, this is the time when I started truly using them as a way to escape reality, or as I said "To find my own World". Also this is when I started to try creative things out like writing, modding games, and trying a lot of ways to tell my stories.

3. The Dark Stage
Age 14-16
Inner Avatar: William Mard, rogue Paladin, who fights for good, but his own justice, also a wanderer.

Oh these days. My hatred for life have deepened, when I was forced to a school I didn't wanted to go. I was naturally sociable, unlike my parents who rarely let me to have friends, and it kinda showed. Suddenly I was in an all boys engineering school, learning genius level math and stuff I was never good in it. While I was naturally tried to make friends, all attempts failed, except one, but later it turned out to be fake, and I was betrayed. After years of bullying, taking all the hate and beating, also the school being hard as hell, everything went downhill, and in the end I wanted to kill myself. It almost ended like that, but on the last summer, something gave me enough willpower to finish off my old personality, and replace it with my internet persona. I had to change, even if it caused a 180 degree turn in my originally friendly personality.

4. Rethinking of Self Stage
Age 16-19
Inner Avatar: Solais, a simple man, with a simple job, living either as a wandering spirit in a flooded but peaceful world, or as a living being in a future utopia. Instead of  "Will", the persona have became "Light".

After all that, I had to rethink myself. I have erected a kind of a social barrier. I became very asocial, I never tried to make friends again, and I stood against my parents for real now, to have a decision purely made by myself: to repeat that school year willingly. This me was made of many personalities, my mood were changing every day as my actions, beliefs and ideas, but I still retained a sense of Optimism. While I still retained my urges of freedom, wandering and telling stories, my future was very uncertain, but it didn't matter, my only goal was to finish this school and never return, never remember again.
This personality of me was thriwing for peace, freedom and silence, he was very very closed minded, but still somehow more open to ideas like before, but he still hated humans in general, not to mention those who lived in his country. It was something good for a time, I managed to finish the school, even if I had to trick the system a bit, and I finally reached university, where I got very dissapointed with everything.

5. New Stage
Current one
Inner Avatar: Two or three personalities merged into one, Solais Tallin, Fairy Onmyoji of Coincidence, a man with a fairy shikigami, looking just like Iji-Gappy!Solais. Still a wanderer, but now with a place to return home.

Thanks to this site and meido, a new me have born, to cope with the dissapointment of the University, and to cope with several other cultures, his own even, and Real Life itself. The me now is particularly fond of learning about everything, and relearning the way to socialize with people. I'm a lot more optimistic, logical and rational, and a lot less serious, even if people doesn't see it that way. I hope this new me will continue to live, this is a me that I kinda love finally.

[HakureiSM]

I was a naive fucktard until puberty and my parents' divorce.
Everyone picked on me, I was pathetic. Alienated, sort of like the dude in The Offspring's Pretty Fly.
I kept away from everything and everything away from me because I was afraid.
Then I started getting bigger and tougher(yes, phisically, it helped me a lot), angrier and more logical, started thinking about anything and everything.
On the first year and a bit of the changes I became a raging communist, just to realize that was anther escape route.
Instead of dodging things I decided it would be best to break through them.
Year after year I became less of a coward, and more and more disappointed at people.

Overall I know I became a much, much better person, and most of what's is left is this arrogance I have to fight off.

[Patoyo]

I just leveled up last year. I'm not a noob anymore

[xm0123]

One thing about me that has never changed is that I do not give in to peer pressure. I will not do things nor say things about myself if they are not true, even if it means I am not liked by "normal people." Example, when everyone else in middle school was listening to Britney Spears and N'Sync, I was listening to video game music. When guys talked about how "cool" pornography is, all I could add to that is that I'm turned off by porn and am not interested in it. And so on. Now with that, my phases.

Anytime before I was 11: I was a rambunctious ball of energy who wouldn't shut up about Nintendo games and Disney cartoons. The intro paragraph guaranteed that I had virtually no friends outside of my family, but I took it in stride.

Sometime when I was 11: I felt true love for the first time, developing an all-enveloping crush on a girl I knew. It didn't work out. But, ever since, I have never found a greater joy than the presence of someone I am in love with. To this day, I still am seeking a love interest. You wouldn't believe how driven I become whenever I'm in love. One result of this is I started treating women with a lot more respect than I used to.

The time when I was 12 to 16. So, my first love interest says she wants nothing to do with me, school gets more difficult, and more people hate me just because I don't bullshit them to become popular. This came to a head when I was 14. Here's a comparison; when I was 14, I was a lot like Shinji Ikari, minus the evil dad and Angel fights. I became incredibly withdrawn, never talking to anyone outside of my family unless if I absolutely had to. If it wasn't for the support of my mom, dad, and grandma, I might not be here right now. Things got a little better when I turned 15, but I still had a shitty outside-of-home life. However, during this time, I began creatively writing for myself as a hobby, and also to keep myself sane.

The time when I was 17 to 20. By the start of my senior year of high school, I had had enough. Enough of homophobic assholes assuming I'm a "queer" just because I don't treat women like shit, enough of the people talking behind my back, enough of the stupid pricks who hated me just because I didn't like Inuyasha or because I didn't own a PS2 at the time. Starting in my senior year, and still going on today, I stopped taking crap from ANYONE. Anyone who slighted me, I just slighted right back, I didn't give a fuck anymore. And guess what? It worked. Bullies and bitches finally backed off for once. (Note: I only talked back, I didn't fight back. There's a difference.) However, since I had few friends, (luckily, I finally made some real honest-to-God friends by then) I developed a very cynical outlook on society and the human race in general. It was my belief that the majority of human beings were horrible people, and that I had suffered just because I wasn't horrible. I started college when I was 20, and I still carried this attitude, but not for long.

The time when I was 21 to the present day. College people don't automatically hate me! None of them think it weird when I say that I don't like porn! I develop my writing skills more, start doing more things on the internet, start reading manga . . . everything is good now! My only problem? Well, I'm looking for a job, but I can't find one at the moment. Other than that, my only other real complaint is the whole lack-of-a-girlfriend situation. Otherwise, life is good.

But I'll still lash out if you insult me or a loved one.

[Professor Paul1290]

I think the biggest change is that I'm not nearly as pessimistic and bitter as I was most of my childhood. I definitely have a much more positive way of looking at the world than I used to.

Other than that I'm afraid my life has been rather boring in this regard so far. I've had a lot of "milestones" come and go barely noticed.

I guess I've kind of realized now that if I want my life interesting, I'll have to take it upon myself to make it interesting rather than just going with the flow.

[The Rabbit Inquisition]

How have I changed, huh?

Before enlightenment: Rake the leaves, do the dishes.
After enlightenment: Rake the leaves, do the dishes.

At first I ばかばかしい...
...and then I ばかばかしい

Let me tell you a story to chill the bones
About a thing that I saw
One night wandering in the everglades
I'd one drink but no more

Okay, okay, I'll stop kidding around now.  Up until I graduated high school I thought that being a lone wolf or having only a few close personal friends was super special awesome but over time in university I just sorta started hating to be alone.  That goes for being online too, I hate being isolated within a community so I try to get a foot in the door whenever I can.  But then I learned that sometimes you don't always like what you see and you have to ask yourself - do you still think you can like the people you do after having seen what they're really like?  If the answer is still yes, then you're a rich man indeed.  Not much more to tell, my story is not a hard life, nor compelling, nor particularly inspiring.  It just is.

[Rosie Rune]

My hair is now a completely different colour. That's a pretty big change.

[Mimeslayer]

Socially I have changed very little, I still have the same self-isolating behavior I had as a kid, which is a major source of my depression. But that's another story.

Academically over the last 15 years I've really changed. In Elementary and Middle School I was a good student. Overall I was usually around a A-B average.

In High School things just fell apart. Dad died, friends went to other schools, and my grades went to hell. Literally barely graduated with my class on time. Then I started community college and went right back to where I was at the beginning of High School. I never put real effort into school, instead just messing around playing video games and such. For several years I just went through the motions, treading water while occasionally sinking to the bottom, both academically and emotionally.

Then last year something clicked. I don't know what, but the last year or so has been my best since I was a kid, and this summer class looks just as good. My GPA is much better, I have a couple of careers in mind, and am starting to look at some Universities.  I'm sure it's going to be hard to make up for those first few years, but I don't want to give up. For the first time since I can remember, I'm motivated.

Still loathing my social behavior though.

[Mary The Magician]

I'm very young and so I can't say I changed a lot.
But a fact that took my whole attention last week was just this: Before, the world was painted in pink and I didn't have to care about anything. Now, life seems to be pushing me away from my road. Not enough time to do things...I guess I've became more nervous over the years...
I try to socialize more, but still, I like rock and jazz and blues, I like anime and games, I'm not a freaking racist...I'm just the opposite of almost every person I've met... (just the 5% of my class understood the music thing, and they were mostly friendly once you knew them)
I changed also in the way that before, I used to relax when I had to do an exercise (two minutes after the teacher gave the task I shouted "I'VE FINISHED!") and chat with my friends. but then, suddenly the people only asked me things about the tasks and tests and usually I got screwed and not them, suddenly the things started to pile up, suddenly I got more bored at school, suddenly I felt the necesity of shouting "I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE"...
And so, those things just got more worse and more worse...
SOmetimes, I couldn't stand my partners who just asked me questions, even the ones that I thought that were smart...
My grades are usually not balanced but I mostly get 10 or 8's...
I didn't study (I SWEAR) before and now I have to do it...
Many things surely changed for me, but I aprecciate that. Because, I know, it'll open my eyes a little bit more. World is not for taking it easy, so I'll just get used to it...
I know....that I can still change more in the future...and I'm looking foward to that...   

[Hartmarco]

So let's see how I am as I grew into the now going-to-be University student.

As a baby I had no idea what was going on around me, except that I had two close friends, one who is still my friend up to now, and one who became my girlfriend at one point but now I don't talk to her anymore =/.

Anyways, onto young childhood, I guess up to elementary, I guess I was pretty social with some kids, but a really big cry baby I must say. And I was REALLY picky when it came to food (it wasn't just the vegetables, it was other foods >.<).

Then started elementary, Grade 1 - 8. Well during the primary years (1-3) I tend to play with the younger kids as they wanted to play with me more than the others around me. Then the intermediate years (4-6) a new kid came and I became friends with him. Of course it was because the both of us were somewhat gamers and all, playing our little gameboys and Pokemon Blue/Red/Yellow (yeah old school times woo!)

Then sometime between grade 5 - 8, I started to become more physically active with more guys whom I become friends with as we loved to play football/soccer/etc together. Those were the best years. Also, I forgot to mention Grade 5 and 6 were the years where everyone was into Yu-gi-oh/Beyblade/pokemon cards and it was what everyone was about. After those years those no one ever touched them again =/.

All these years I guess I was a good student. Good at math at least, always A's and B's, even though after grade 3 I didn't do much homework

Then...High school. I had to transfer away from the school my old school was connected with because I moved. So there I was really new and knew almost no one. Luckily, I managed to make friends with some people at Religion class (the one time it did good for me ) and I guess I got into this group of friends from then on.

In terms of grades though...well I was the same throughout the year. 80s-90s average while doing absolutely nothing whatsoever. I was lazy and a procrastinator, I guess that's the reason, but I was good at studying last minute for this stuff (a la Konata ) So I always did good in exams and all.

And...now I'm here, still lazy and such. I guess it'll all change when I get into Uni.

(Oh don't get me started on my internet behaviour and all though)

[Mushyrulez]

Before Grade 4 or something: Mentally stable and perfectly normal.


After Grade 4 or something: Mentally stable, perfectly normal, computer addicted

That's ta only change I've ever underwent, and right now my condition wouldn't actually be to ta point of "addiction", though to my parents it's pretty much so...

[Definitely Satori]

Someone may have replied to...

Discovering Touhou also helped alot. I know it sounds really stupid and trite, but it's true. There's just something about Touhou, it's cheap, accessible, endlessly extensive with the fanworks, reading material, games, music, art. There's Touhou for everything. I feel like I can be a nothing all my life and still have it there you know? Something to look forward to on my time off.

...but holy crap. Honestly, I thought I was the only person who thought this way. (Warning, this is gonna sound lame as hell) Before Touhou, I just kinda drifted through my day, not really looking forward to anything, save for a few large events (conventions, holidays, etc). Even that wasn't much to get me excited.

Then I, somehow, stumbled upon /c/. Keep in mind, this was... around college/current time, but whatever. I was still pretty isolated. /c/, however, gave me a sense of belonging. I finally had a group that I, for lack of better way of saying it, fit in with. But it quickly wore off. For all I knew, all of the other anons and namefriends were just one or two guys dicking around.

Then I found Touhou. After that, for whatever reason, I started to look forward to being awake and doing Touhou stuff in my spare time. A little while later, that's when I found this website; I mainly lurked for the first X months, but... I still felt like, weirdly enough, I had a REAL group that I fit in with.


tl;dr - Touhou made me want to wake up in the morning instead of sleep all day.

Aside from that, I haven't really changed much, save for, y'know, maturing and not being a little shit.

[Ruroko Nakajima]

A lot of ways. Like, a lot. A few that stand out are:

- I looped around the entire way from being the shy wallflower into a boisterous extrovert who radiates charisma
- I got over my androphobia, which was a huge problem when I was younger
- I made a wide group of awesome, reliable friends, and gained the best extended family anyone could ever ask for
- I found my calling in life, what I want to do for a living and for what reasons-- an activist-photographer, to collect evidence against genocide and stop human rights abuse throughout the world
- I found true love, and with it, a commitment to showing love to those who need it most.

I also discovered, among other things, the miracle of thighhighs. But that's for later.

[偶然の妖精陰陽師]

A lot of ways. Like, a lot. A few that stand out are:

- I looped around the entire way from being the shy wallflower into a boisterous extrovert who radiates charisma
- I got over my androphobia, which was a huge problem when I was younger
- I made a wide group of awesome, reliable friends, and gained the best extended family anyone could ever ask for
- I found my calling in life, what I want to do for a living and for what reasons-- an activist-photographer, to collect evidence against genocide and stop human rights abuse throughout the world
- I found true love, and with it, a commitment to showing love to those who need it most.

I also discovered, among other things, the miracle of thighhighs. But that's for later.

Yeah, but where do you found the djinn or whatever magic to do this?

[Ruroko Nakajima]

Yeah, but where do you found the djinn or whatever magic to do this?

Honestly, I will credit my IB group of nakama. Change like the kind I described takes a long while to accomplish, in an environment where you can do what you like without the fear of being judged. I had seven years of IB hell with those guys, and no matter how I changed, they still cared about me-- and that includes the teachers, too. If it hadn't been for them, as a group and as individuals, I would likely not be the person I am today. I really lucked out on that one.

[Reddyne]

I suppose i should have weighed in on this a while ago.

I think I've mellowed out a good deal and it has done me a world of good. I take so much more strife in stride than I used to. The only thing that really bugs me now are people who go well out of their way to push my buttons and make my life miserable, and it's hard to do that to me now. My sense of humor is much improved and I don't mind making light of myself much at all, even with some of the topics I can be most sensitive about. All in all, it takes so much more for me to be depressed or get angry than I used to. If at all, I'm usually only upset with myself, as other peoples' idiosyncrasies just don't bug me anymore. Of course, squashing your ego because of what you have done in college certainly helps.

I think I'm more extroverted than I used to be. At the start of college, all my friends from high school were gone and I didn't have much of a place to fit in, so I sorta regressed to a loner state. At the end of college, I was so sick of it that I deliberately stuck my neck out into a group of people that wound up making the majority of my after-college friends. I've brought the attitude that if someone else can do something, I can do it as well, plus I can stay with my own way of doing things when I want to, which is quite often. It's led to meeting a lot of new people and experiences and I probably wouldn't be on this board or with many other people without having done some of the things I was entirely uncomfortable with. I've got a lot more determination because I've gained so much from these positive experiences too.

I KNOW I'm in far better shape than I have been. I used to be so lazy and lethargic and I wound up losing any and all confidence in my appearance. My worst was once again early in college when I was nearly 200 pounds, and I had ran on the cross country team in high school, so I had no excuse for the condition I was in. I got sick of the way I felt and looked, so I started running again and working out in general. I started out not being able to jog a half mile. Since then, I've lost enough weight to drop to 150 and a 5+ mile run is now rather bland. I actually have a reason to have some self confidence in my appearance, too. I can eat junk and not feel guilty! 

The only way I think I'm worse for wear is with girls and relationships. Admittedly, part of it is my own ineptitude, but I'm still perplexed by the choices girls I have liked have made. I've been passed up for a guy who was looking into joining the catholic priesthood after college and for a guy 11 years older than me whose only interest was racing trucks. I've met so many nice girls who are dating so many awful guys and so many nice guys who have wound up in relationships with awful girls. Plus, I always seem to fancy the girls who are already in relationships and I just don't know it until later. I really just don't have any concept of what girls like when it comes to relationships anymore. It's led to a lot of self-doubt and self-hatred and a warped sense of what girls value.

Luckily, life is always a work in progress, and hope for bettering things has sprung eternal.

[Azure Lazuline]

(last paragraph about girls)

Girls and guys are no different from each other. They both have the same desires, and they both look for the same things in potential relationships. Some people look for similar interests, while other people just look for a nice personality. If you're really good friends with someone and they happen to be the opposite gender and are "open", then decide if you want a relationship - don't decide that any sooner or it will probably lead to disappointment. And this way, even if you fail, you still have a good friend, and you don't lose a thing.

I learned this a few years ago, and is one of the major ways I've changed. I don't think of girls and guys as separate. Instead, it's all the individual. Different people like different things, and different people have different personalities. It has nothing to do with how many X chromosomes they have.

Edit: I've also learned to not judge a book by its cover, so to speak. Applying this to the previous post again, don't say a person is "horrible" unless you get to know them.

[SupahVee1234]

How much have I changed...? That's a good question.
Posting here will be a test for me, since I will have to be honest and analyze properly my entire life.

Ignoring age 0~8, where I didn't have many social relationships, I can start analyzing from age 9-10.
At that age, I was pretty lively and happy. I've had many family problems, but I didn't really care much about it, and I still don't. It just doesn't matter to me.

In Grade 6-7 I started having problems with bullies and became more shy. I remember that one of my best friends today bullied me in Grade 6.
I was immature for my age and I didn't even bother thinking about girls. I just wanted to play hide and seek or soccer. Or chase my friends like a retard in a game of tag.
Anyway, in Grade 8 I sort of had a little transformation. I managed to become less shy, I befriended the bullies and become more interesting to everybody. I still was immature, though.
Just as I was getting more and more interesting to my classmates, the year ended, and I changed school.

I have to say that until the end of Grade 8 I've also been a religious numb nut. I was a real moralist, mostly because my family raised me as a Christian.
I remember that in Grade 5 one of my friends was showing me some sexy pics on his cellphone and I said I was disgusted because god hated that stuff. Heh.

Anyway, during the summer between Grade 7~8, I had a big transformation. It's somehow strange, but I became more mature and smarter not thanks to real social relationship, but thanks to the internet. I learned programming and got into some indie game-making groups, where we would make little stupid games that people played for 10 minutes then uninstalled.
So, I still was kinda immature, and the fact that people using the internet become real assholes, since they feel protected (because their identity isn't revealed to everyone), helped me a lot.
They told me when I was acting like a kid, and most of the times, instead of taking their good advice, I kept acting like a kid. However sometimes I would listen. And then I would listen more often. And even more often...
The internet also helped me "grow up" thanks to many communities, especially small ones, where I got to know interesting people, improved my English and so on.

The internet made me become an Atheist, too. Today I firmly believe that there is no god, but I didn't lost all of the morality I had when I was younger. I am obviously a lot more open minded, though.

So, anyway, in Grade 8 I met a lot of interesting people. I went (and I still go) to a Christian school, but many guys are Atheists (we don't tell anyone, though).
My classmates had a lot of stuff in common with me, that the older classmates didn't have. Some of them liked computers and internet, some of them liked parkour, etc... I felt more attached to them because I actually was interesting in the classroom.

...

In a few weeks the next school year will begin, Grade 10. Sigh.
I spent most of my summer looking at a computer screen, but I've gone outside a lot more than the previous years. I actually got invited by my friends way more often.
Touhou has kinda a big role in my free time. I always manage to play a game or two when I can. I also often act all like "oh my god this is the best game ever try it" with my friends, with usually bad results, but not always.

Well, I hope this has been an interesting read, but anyway I think posting this helped me remember how I was, how I am now and how I would like to grow up.

[Myukuu]

Well, I'm going to attempt this, even though I haven't even really experienced much yet in life, hell I haven't even started highschool yet. Although it does start tommorow. But this is today. Alright, I shall now review my life from the begining to today!

Apparently I was pretty much the perfect well behaved baby. And toddler. And small child. According to this test I was one of the smartest kids in my preschool, but I doubt that. I only remember a few details from preschool... such as my "boyfriend" who wanted to be a "shark studier" and this girl I hated named Laura.

But then, right at the end of kindergarden, We moved to a new state. It was in the middle of May so I had basically no time to make friends before the end of the school year, so I just sat quietly and read the whole time. I remember the popular girls being mean to me because my favorite color was orange and orange wasn't a pretty girl color like pink or purple DX

First grade was pretty uneventful besides the fact that we moved to a different state again, and my little sister was born. But Second grade is where things really started happening. I met this girl named Toni-Renne, and she was my best friend until I moved again. She was obsessed with sailor moon and drawing the characters, so naturally I was too. I went to blockbuster and rented sailor moon VCR's... ahh those were the days. But that is how I really got into anime in the first place, besides pokemon and hamtaro which I still love.

In third grade, I moved to California, and got a tamagotchi. My life was officially about tamagotchis. I memorized every characters name, the entire instruction sheet, just everything about tamagotchis. I even ordered a special edition tamagotchi from Japan off ebay. Then after tamagotchis came Neopets, back when it was good before all the NeoCash crap. I also became interested in the wonders of the internet. This was another really fun time in my life, I did have a really good friend and her name was Ashley. Sadly, in the middle of Fourh grade I had to move AGAIN. To my current location.

This was probably one of the most horrible times for me. Suddenly right before I started school there, I had to get glasses AND braces which made me feel like a total nerd and destroyed my self confidence. When I started my first day, nobody was nice to me at all. In a few weeks, one of the popular kids invited me to her birthday party... but I think she only did it so her and her stupid friends could make fun of  me. A bunch more stuff happened to the point where I dreaded going to school every day until 6th grade.  Also, I had a really creepy stalkerish obsession with a boy where I taped a picture of his face with heartsaround it to my desk..... =.= Thankfully I have changed sine then.

So then I started middle school. Whoopdi doo. I thought it was going to be a fresh start, and OMG LOCKERS!! everyone thought they were just so cool now that they were in the big kids school. But it ended up being pretty much the same crap. I did meet some cool people that are still my friends today though. In 7th grade I tried to be an awesome hardcore scene kid, but then I realized that was retarded.  It was also the year I met most of my friends  and discovered touhou through my boyfriend at the time and was completely obsessed with all the characters, but I couldn't play the game since my computer sucked. All I could do was play mountain of faith at his house a few times.

8th grade is the most recent year, and it really sucked. I'm so glad to be out of Middle School. The only good thing about 2010 so far was Anime Boston, the most awesome weekend that has ever happened to me. But anyway, now you know my life story. I wonder if anyone will actually read this XD If anyone did, I'd give them a hug and a cookie.

[AcceleReiToast]

Mentally unstable, not in college, sleeps 12 hours a day -> Mentally unstable, college starting soon, 4 hours of sleep per night.

[Boke]

0-10: I was a pretty lighthearted kid, got along with everyone, even kids who tried to be bullies.  Adults, especially teachers, described me with words like "precocious," as I'd talk to anyone and always seemed to impress.

11-14: Parents divorced, and as a result of the two house thing I lost my next-door-neighbor and best friend.  Around the same time I started to discover how superficial So-Cal is, getting picked on by kids because I didn't wear skateboarder clothes and stuff the same year my parents divorced.  By the end of it I was a loner who didn't keep friends for long.  I think it was also around here where I started to develop bad OCD and social anxiety.

14-16: High school started, started getting into drugs.  Stopped making the honor rolls and teachers just thought I was a punk.  I also fought with my parents a lot, and was well enough liked by my peers but painfully shy.

16-18:  I made some better friends right at the start of my junior year, went to lunch with them about every day and really started to come back out of my shell.  I also do believe that smoking herb, especially socially, helped me re-integrate socially.  Perhaps more importantly, I rekindled my interest in being a scientist (physics) and discovered I was damn good at it too, which gave me some confidence and direction.  Naturally, my grades were good again at this point too, unfortunately not enough to make up for early high school mistakes. Enough to get me into a decent university, at least.  I really think I'm still changing a lot, but things are getting better all the time.