Headcanon Nonsense

[MetalStudios]

Hey guys, I recently dived into the Touhou confession blog on tumblr and saw a lot of headcanon's there that really amused me
So I was wondering if anyone wanted to share their favorite headcanons!
If you don't know, Headcanon means
"to note a particular belief which has not been used in the universe of whatever program or story they follow, but seems to make sense to that particular individual, and as such is adopted as a sort of "personal canon"."

To start, one of my personal headcanons is that every one in the Scarlet Devil Mansion has some type of European accent (I like to think Patchouli is german and that amuses me)
Another one I really love is that I believe that Nue and Mamizou run about and play pranks around Byakuren's temple, but only Nue ever gets caught

[shockdude]

"Spellcards" are actually slips of paper that contain handwritten Danmakufu script.

[CyberAngel]

Alice sews. I mean, that's a given since she makes her dolls all by herself, but what I mean is that she makes outfits for some youkai girls as well.

[Trixter]

Koishi has actually been in all the Touhou games.  You just don't notice her.

[Marron]

Reisen uses suppository in battles, just look at the bullets.

[Tengukami]

I still prefer the term "fanon" myself, but sure, I have a few of these:

• Marisa regularly visits the Human Village to engage in drinking and sociability. Actually probably applies to a lot of them. Sitting at home all day, every day, I think would make some of these people go crazy.
• Some of the characters "date" each other, or at least fool around from time to time. Couldn't begin to speculate who.
• There are Lunarians in disguise in Gensokyo, on a permanent spy mission to keep an eye on Kaguya.
• Seija is not, cannot be, 100% contrarian to what everyone does or thinks all the time. It's just physically impossible. That, and she is still trying to develop the Youkai Grassroots Network in other ways.
• Reimu has one of those super-quiet sneezes that you think sound fake, and when you say so, the sneezer insists this is totally the way they really sneeze.

[Hope ♦ Metal]

Most youkai can take whatever form they like, but lose this ability after a while. Anything that became a youkai rather than being born one is exempt and will just have whatever form they had prior to becoming one.

To start, one of my personal headcanons is that every one in the Scarlet Devil Mansion has some type of European accent

*coughMeilingcough*

[Suspicious person]

Alright, let's do this :
-Mokou cannibalizes herself when she's feels truly hungry
-Kyouko might be able to perform echolocation
-Parsee have the ability to see other people's qualities
-Okuu is actually a "just feel it !" type of genius, and her knowledge of nuclear fusion have nothing to do with science nor physics, but more like it's simply natural for her
-Yuyuko can't actually taste nor feel the food she eats. I mean, does ghost or dead people's senses even work the same way normal, alive people's do ? I like to think that she imagines the taste and react accordingly to pretend that she is alive. This said, she has no idea of when she is supposed to be full and accidentally eats a lot.

[CyberAngel]

* CyberAngel slaps his forehead

I actually have two headcanons about Alice. The other one is that she acts as a barber too. It actually has a motive - to get hair for her dolls. She mostly uses her own hair when creating them, but sometimes she needs more diversity.

[Maple]

I had one for a while:

The danmaku we see in the integer games is only for representation purposes. "The most beautiful one wins" (Marisa, SSiB), a lot of little glowing balls don't look good in 3d. Danmaku battles are actually closer to what we see in the fighting games.

[Prime32]

Sanae's unusual shrine maiden outfits started as some kind of cosplay. To her surprise, Kanako and Suwako didn't really care about it being untraditional.

Also she loves karaoke, and sometimes absent-mindedly sings Vocaloid songs as she works. :V

[MetalStudios]

*coughMeilingcough*

and that's why she sleeps outside

[Berzul]

Koishi has actually been in all the Touhou games.  You just don't notice her.

Keine was actually in all Touhou games, she was recording your spellcard History. >..>

[MetalStudios]

I still prefer the term "fanon" myself

contextually the term headcanon made more sense to me on a grammatical level

[Eiburine]

Flan used to have long hair and tried to cut it. She found out she wasn't good at cutting hair, so left a bit of it long, and made that part into her ponytail. :3

[Lt Colonel Summers]

Other people's headcanons that I agree:
-Windows Alice is a doll. A perfect doll .
-Remilia is the daughter of Dracula. It just sounded like a lie because she didn't make her boast convincing enough.
-Maribel is Yukari.

My headcanons:
-Following above, Windows Alice is a doll. But, she wasn't created by PC-98 Alice. PC!Alice somehow contracted an incurable disease, and Shinki is forced to transfer her consciousness into a doll to keep her "alive"
-Cirno is Italian.
-Maribel becoming Yukari is probably the cause of a Start Of Darkness that occurred in the past due to time travel.
-Yukari manipulated everything that has ever happened, and is going to happen in human history, from Ancient Rome to near-future North Korea.
-The USA in the Touhou-verse, according to Silent Sinner In Blue, might've known about the Lunar Captial and, to an extent, Gensokyo, but keeping it a secret from the public. More Area 51 conspiracies!
-The flying object that supposedly crashed at Roswell, New Mexico is a Lunarian spacecraft or satellite. Even more Area 51 conspiracies in the Touhou-verse!

[BlazervaniaX]

-Cirno is Italian.

wat
How?

[Kaizaki]

One time, Mokou caught a glimpse of a woman with long, dark hair in the bamboo forest. She ran up and torched her, of course.

Turned out it was Kagerou.

[TresserT]

Okay, I'm ready for this.

-Alice is actually the strongest magician we've seen yet and is able to use several different types of magic. She focuses all her skill on dolls because she's extremely lonely. I mean, if her Grimoire is the same as the one in PC-98 then of course she's insanely powerful. She's also known to be the lonely type.
-Yuyuko knew all along that her body was under that sakura tree. She really caused the incident to draw attention to her flower viewing party. Yuyuko has been the single most well informed character for every other incident she's been involved in. I find it hard to believe that she'd just forget why the tree was sealed, especially when it's so closely tied to her.
-Youkai can take various shapes. We see cute monster girls because that's what sells.
-Flandre is perfectly sane, she's just has a lack of social experience. Flandre hasn't seemed particularly insane in any of her appearances, so it's more of an informed trait (I honestly don't even remember if that's canon). Maybe she was locked away due to her power, and after 495 years of isolation she's just lost her social finesse.
-Videos like thse from IOSYS actually happen. Because it makes things more interesting.

[aUsernameIsFineToo]

-Youkai can take various shapes. We see cute monster girls because that's what sells.

This is exactly what I imagine as well. IIRC the whole deal with youkai is that they are mythological creatures which can take on whatever form one wants to portray them as.

Also, Sakuya has a British-English accent, the Scarlet sisters have an Austrian accent, and all fairies talk with the voice of a 10-year-old.

[Esper]

I like to think that when the girls don't feel like shooting each other to resolve arguments, they play an east asian adaptation of Magic the Gathering that's essentially just MtG but with Touhou characters, enemies, and variations on them.

I like to think that Alice is in a relationship with Patchouli to make Marisa jealous.

I like to think that Eirin is an ageless goddess in disguise and created everything, including the limitations that cause Gensokyo's balance.

I think that Diamond in the Rough is a good headcanon template because it sets rules while still being vague enough to be workable.

I like to think that when Eiki sends people to hell, she just reincarnates them as fairies that are aware of the futility of their own existence.

I like to think that off to the side of every battle, a mook orchestra themed after the boss/location plays the music. (Just giggled imagining a kedama trying to play a piano)

I like to think that Gensokyo exists in a nonphysical plane, allowing ridiculous land terrain setups to occur in the rare instances they do.

-Cirno is Italian.

wat
How?

It sounds plausible. Chi ru no is the katakana for Cirno's name, and Ci is pronounced as Chi in Italian. An Italian man reading "Cirno" would say "CHEER-no", which is the accepted pronunciation of Cirno (from the perspective of a bunch of people I know and I, take that as you will).

[Ps]

I think that the Hakurei shrine's god(ess) is similar to the god of colonial-era Deism in that (s)he is all kinds of amazing and powerful, but is completely disconnected from the world and disinterested in its affairs.

[monhan]

Perhaps I'll put some of mine
- Kogasa was Byakuren's old umbrella.
She became a Tsukumogami after Byakuren got sealed. So she wasn't forgotten, it's just that no one was able to recover her back then. Usually it took only a hundred years for an object to transform into a Tsukumogami, but with how Kokoro just came into form prior to the events of HM, I guess that can change.
Probably one of my favorites, and it's certainly rather viable, right?

- Shinki is the "will" residing in Byakuren's Sorcerer Sutra Scroll
- I do think that Maribel might be Yukari.
But, I like to think that when that time comes, Renko will be "gone" and searching for her is one of Maribel's motive to become Yukari. Waiting for her in Gensokyo, the land that they always dream to go to.
- Though she's a bit haughty and arrogant in front of others, Tenshi spends most of her time crying in her room while she's in Heaven before the events of SWR, because of how she's seen/treated by her fellow Celestials.
- Most of the "stray" youkai like the Prismrivers and Tsukumo Sisters, Kokoro and such often came and are under the care of the Myouren Temple.
Sometimes, they participate in holding some events by the temple. I base this idea from that scene where the Tsukumo Sisters was performing an instrumental show and the Prismrivers participating in that Shoujouji' Tanuki Band story. And Byakuren is secretly a rockstar.

[the old guy]

-Maribel becoming Yukari is probably the cause of a Start Of Darkness that occurred in the past due to time travel.

Uuuuuh.....Start of Darkness is when someone turns evil, and Yukari is not evil, she just has different view of morality, its Blue and Orange Morality, if your going to use TvTropes terms.
As for headcanons, i have came up with quite a few, but i'm lazy and haven't wrote them all down, so i'll post them as i remember them.

Here's someones i remember right now:
Yukari is Maribel, and also she barely remembers her life as a human, IDK if she lost them when she became a youkai, or later, but i know one thing for sure, over the years (And decades, and centuries, and eons.), memories of her past life are slowly creeping back into her mind, mainly through her dreams. One day, all of her old memories as Maribel and her old Butt buddy friend Renko will come back to her in full, and weird time travel shit will happen.
Reimu's parents died when she was younger, which is why shes a asshole to everyone, she had only herself and an old turtle to rise her.

More later.

[game2011]

Rin and Utsuho are so heat resistant that they can take a dip in magma like it's warm water.  Fan arts convinced me this.

[LunaWillow]

- Shinki's presence is sealed in Alice's Grimoire. Alice doesn't know that, however, as she cleared her memories after sealing her old master away.
- Alice and Patchouli are close friends. They both think Marisa is annoying.
- Shiki and Mima are some sort of "old enemies". Shiki sent Mima to hell, but she escaped from there.

[BlazervaniaX]

"Maribel is Yukari, Maribel is Yukari, Yukari is Maribel, Yukari is Maribel"

...And what happens to Renko? Headcanons for that?

[TresserT]

"Maribel is Yukari, Maribel is Yukari, Yukari is Maribel, Yukari is Maribel"

...And what happens to Renko? Headcanons for that?

She becomes Yumemi. I thought that went without saying.

[Esper]

"Maribel is Yukari, Maribel is Yukari, Yukari is Maribel, Yukari is Maribel"

...And what happens to Renko? Headcanons for that?

I like to imagine that (through reasons difficult to explain) she becomes Ran to justify Maribel becoming Yukari.

[MetalStudios]

I like to imagine that (through reasons difficult to explain) she becomes Ran to justify Maribel becoming Yukari.

I like to think that Renko becomes Reimu and that's why Yukari trains and constantly helps Reimu, although I'm sure there's a lot of contradictions to that in canon.....

I also like to think that the Oni have Brooklyn accents and Kasen is trying to talk as if she didn't have it