Rou's Random Shorts

[♛ Apher-Forte]

for one who claims they write poor fiction you are incredibly enthusiastic in carrying out requests, with flair as well.

[FinnKaenbyou]

Blame E-Mouse for this one. :V

-----

Perhaps she should have seen it coming. Yukari-sama had dropped more than her fair share of hints over the months beforehand.

"You have that maternal touch, Ran. It's a shame you won't find a suitor."

"Have you ever wondered what this place would sound like with a few more fox-feet patting around?"

"It must be boring having only Chen to take care of while I'm asleep..."

Back then, she had simply assumed that comments like those were jokes, or jibes at how she was getting old. She should have known better than anyone that Yukari Yakumo never said anything if there wasn't a meaning of some sort behind it.

And now, here she was, rising awake along with the sun, with four young youkai curled up next to her.

She didn't like talking about how it had happened. It was the sort of ridiculous situation that the perverted residents beyond the border would cook up to create a pregnancy where none was possible. She'd forgotten the name - funatari, or something like that - but if anyone ever pressed her on it her most detailed reply would be 'Yukari-sama was screwing around again'. Anyone who properly knew Yukari was well aware that there was no point in asking beyond that.

The birth was another memory that Ran didn't want to bring up. It hurt, and that was all she was willing to say. It had been three years since, and Ran had just about managed to get the hang of motherhood. And besides that, there was something heartwarming about the feeling of someone snuggling up against your tails in their sleep.

She whispered, so as not to startle her children from their sleep too roughly.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, mother."

Three voices chimed out in response, and Ran felt her tails getting a little lighter as her children woke up. Though they were slow to grow physically, kitsune children were almost always intelligent enough to understand speech by the age of two. One tail, though, was still being pinned down, its resident grumbling to herself about wanting five more minutes or something. Ran reached down with one hand and ruffled the dozy fox's hair.

"Come on, Akai. Time to wake up."

The child groaned, but it was a groan of surrender rather than resistance. She slowly lifted herself to her feet, rubbing at her eyes and pulling down her light red shirt.

"Yeah, yeah, morning..."

Akai had always been the most rebellious of the litter. Ran still had fond memories of the days where she'd nudge her sisters aside to get to her breast, and even now she had a nasty habit of taking up two or three tails at once when bedtime rolled around. She was always the child who snuggled up the closest, though, so Ran couldn't hold it against her.

With the children awake, the first order of business for the day was breakfast. The dining table in the Yakumo residence had doubled in size since Ran had become a parent, and she had taken up one half of it with herself and her brood. Ran sat at one end of the table, while her children flanked her, two on each side. There was no set hierarchy about who sat where, but Akai always took the closest seat she could, and leaned it ever so slightly towards her mother whenever she thought she could get away with it. One of these days Ran would have to give her the talk about how she had to give equal time to her sisters as well.

As usual, the girls divided breakfast duty between themselves. Kiro and Midori would set the table, Aoi would hand out the ingredients as Ran needed them, and Akai, in her own words, would 'stand by mom's side and make sure she's doing it right'. Ran honestly wanted to tell her 'it's tofu and I've been cooking it for centuries, I think I know what I'm doing' some mornings, but there were no other chores for Akai to do at the time, and she'd learned the hard way that leaving Akai to her own devices was a recipe for disaster. Yukari-sama still hadn't forgiven her completely for what her sisters had labelled 'The Alopecia Incident'. Or at least, that was the name Aoi had given it and her sisters had unanimously agreed with, murmuring 'what do those big words mean?'

"Here's the salt, mother."

Aoi's voice carried a hint of pride as she handed the next ingredient over to Ran, a few grains slipping onto her light blue nightgown. She had always been the smartest of the bunch, and she'd taken every chance she could find to flaunt it. Sometimes Ran would find her with her nose buried in a dictionary, building up her vocabulary piece by piece. She'd always been a specialist with language, though - math was one of her few weaknesses, but she brushed it off as 'something the kappa are supposed to be doing'.

The table had been set up by now, but Midori and Kiro had stolen away a napkin and pulled out a pencil, playing a game of tic-tac-toe. Or rather, they had already gone though half a dozen games, and Kiro was growing more irritated with every one.

"Midori-chan, why are you so good at this?"

Midori smiled quietly. Her light green eyes flickered as the light struck them.

"I don't know. I start on my favourite square every time, and you always start right next to me. I guess it's just talent."

Of course, Midori knew for a fact that it wasn't - she'd always win if Kiro just kept making the same mistake with her first move. Ran turned around for a moment to watch the game, and smiled at the sight of Midori's manipulative ways. Kitsune were natural-born tricksters, after all, so to show this proficiency at her age was something to commend.

"Hey. It's boiling over."

Akai tugged at Ran's sleeve, reminding her of the tofu sitting in front of her.

"Ah, sorry. Good call, too - looks like it's about ready, too."

Saving the meal in the nick of time, Ran finished with cooking the tofu and cut it into six equal slices. Akai and Aoi slipped over to their seats as their mother applied the finishing touches to their meal. They had always been the two sisters with the worst relationship - mainly Aoi picking on Akai for being so clingy. These arguments had come to an abrupt end two months ago, when Akai had been the first of the children to learn how to use danmaku. She could only produce one bullet, but it was enough to catch Aoi off guard, and since then the more educated sister had settled for sticking her tongue out when Ran wasn't looking.

As Ran returned to the table, the sixth seat was abruptly taken. At the chair across from Ran a large purple gap opened, and a young woman emerged from within and took her place. Four voices greeted her at once.

"Good morning, Yukari-sama."

Unfortunately, one of those voices was Ran's.

"Mornin', grandma."

Akai's concept of humour was, to be short, not to Yukari's liking. The gap youkai's hands curled up into fists as she resisted the urge to open up a gap beneath the young fox's chair and drop her into the Blazing Fires. Ran had been like this, once - she had survived that childhood, so she could certainly survive another.

"G-Good morning, all of you."

Ran walked up to the table, placing a piece of tofu in front of each person seated while leaving one for herself. For Ran and her children this was breakfast; for Yukari, this was supper. She would go to sleep after this, leaving Ran and her brood to take care of the house during the day. For now, though, it was time to eat, and the household worked through their helpings on tofu in relative silence.

At Ran's side, across from the ever-approaching Akai, Kiro was doodling on another napkin. Initially Ran simply assumed that her daughter was drawing, or maybe playing tic-tac-toe with herself to figure out how Midori was always winning. On closer observation, though, she saw that Kiro was practicing her mathematics, writing out the times tables in the smallest writing she could. As the girl's golden eyes focused on her perfect calculations, Ran smiled as she noted that one of her children had inherited her love for numbers.

And so went breakfast. Again, the girls divided up the chores - Aoi cleaned the dishes, Midori dried, Kiro put them away, and Akai 'stopped Mom from getting lonely'. Ran would take this time to have a talk with Yukari, given it was about the only time she wasn't running around the house keeping her kin in check.

"So, it looks like you've just about got the hang of things."

Ran accepted the compliment humbly, bowing her head.

"My thanks, Yukari-sama. I imagine I must have been as troublesome as them in my own youth, so I'm grateful to you for looking after me as well."

Yukari chuckled, reminiscing over the days when Ran would try and calculate pi to as many decimal places as she could and ended up using the wall when the paper she was using ran out of space. That had been centuries ago, and since then Ran had grown into a fine, proud shikigami.

"...Though, Yukari-sama. Isn't there something missing?"

It had been a niggling feeling in the back of Ran's mind for a while. Something had seemed out of place, something Ran couldn't put her finger on exactly. Yukari stared off into the distance, pondering in unison with her servant. Akai followed their eyes, not sure what everyone was looking at.

"Hmm...I know what you mean...something feels strange about the household. Something isn't here..."

---

"Unyaa..."

Chen lay her head on Orin's lap, moaning slightly. Her fellow cat stroked her behind the ears to try and cheer her up.

"Wow, that's pretty harsh. So after she had her own kids, she just lost track of you?"

"R-Ran-sama tried at first, but...they were all so loud and they needed so much time, and...nyaa, I miss her..."

Orin kept scratching behind Chen's ears as the shikigami tried her best not to cry.

"Don't worry, kid. You can move in with me, y'know? Satori-sama doesn't mistreat her pets."

Chen looked up at Orin, enawed.

"R-Really? She'll take me in?"

"Course she will! She's a really great judge of character. It's like she knows everything you want before you even ask for it..."

[Kasu]

CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
;-;

[Esifex]

Oh my god I hate you you made me cry why would you do that aaaaagh

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

*sings "Die In A Fire" to the tune of "Dracula's Castle" from SotN*

[Esifex]

*sings "Die In A Fire" to the tune of "Dracula's Castle" from SotN*

Is this a new song now, that we've created? 'Die in a Fire' as arranged by the MotKians?

[An Odd Sea Slug]

I want a full length version of this. :3

[Yamachanadu]

Gentlemen, I have come to the conclusion that Rou will continue to mess with us until we are gibbering emotional wrecks.  However, we will probably enjoy the process, so carry on.

[Esifex]

Gentlemen, I have come to the conclusion that Rou will continue to mess with us until we are gibbering emotional wrecks.  However, we will probably enjoy the process, so carry on.

It's his superpower.

Mine is the ability to catch every possible red light on the way to work.

[FinnKaenbyou]

<ToumaKanou|RFJ> Also Beelolis overrun Gensokyo
...
<Sapz|Away> Go with Zengar's beeloli idea
<Sapz|Away> You should listen to him
<Roukan> Welp, two votes. Guess that makes it popular demand. :V

-----

"Ah, another fine day, isn't it?"

There was no-one else standing in the field, though the sunflowers were tall enough to make that hard for her to verify at the time. Of course she had never intended to talk to a person - the objects of her affection were all around her.

"And you're all looking so bright and healthy today!"

Yuka strolled across the Garden of the Sun, using her parasol to stop the sunlight from blinding her. She held her hand out at her side, stroking the leaves of the sunflowers as if she were performing a handshake. Her bright red eyes were filled with joy at her handiwork - every flower in this field had been planted, fed and cared for by her, and considering the size of this place that was quite an achievement.

There was a wonderful silence as she continued walking by herself, occasionally adjusting her red plaid waistcoat while stopping her matching skirt catching on any of her masterpieces. Only the occasional gust of wind distracted Yuka from her own little utopia.

"...Hm?"

It was a very faint sound, to the point where for a moment Yuka didn't think she had even heard it. She cupped an ear, listening out to see if it would get any louder.

Slowly, a buzzing noise started to reach her.

"Bees? Here?"

She had never seen the need to let bees into her garden. Her flowers did not pollinate - they simply were, and thanks to her endless devotion (and substantial magic power) they could stay as such for centuries. Bees were annoying - loud, and distracting. She would take care of this problem the way she took care of most problems - shoot it until it was no longer a concern.

Yuka took her time as she headed towards the source of the buzzing. She had never been the sort of youkai to rush - after all, it only meant she would arrive tired, if a little earlier. The buzzing grew louder, obviously, as she approached.

But it shouldn't have become this loud.

There were clearly more bees than she'd thought. Their source seemed to be coming from one sunflower whose head had been pulled down out of sight, bees rising up from it at an alarmingly fast rate. A few dozen, no, a few hundred, no, a thousand-

"Aah!"

Their numbers seemed to be multiplying by the second, and by now the buzzing was enough to make Yuka's ears hurt. She held her fingers in them to keep herself sane, walking towards the drooping flower and leaning her head down.

She found a young girl, in a yellow and black striped dress and a needle coming out of her rear, doing her best to suck the nectar out of the flower. With each drop she swallowed a flock of bees would emerge from her long black hair and rise into the air, until at last she had drained the sunflower of all it had.

"Ah...better than I thought. The flowers in this field are really tasty."

She let go of the sunflower, expecting it to return to its standing pose. It instead responded by falling to the ground entirely, all its colour fading. The bee youkai giggled.

"Heheh, oops. Guess I took a little more than nectar~"

She shrugged, laughing to herself. She was blissfully unaware of the flower youkai standing behind her, with a smile that would chill the blood of anything that lived.

Or at least, she was unaware until the parasol collided harshly with the back of her head.

"Owwie!"

The bee youkai fell heat first into the dirt, clinging at her head for a short while. Yuka prepared to seize the advantage and stomp on her while she was down, but once again the buzzing sound filled her ears.

"Whoa, w-what is it? What is it?!"

Yuka covered her ears as she stood up, and saw a black mark running across the sky. A huge shad fell on the garden as it blocked out the sun itself, all while letting off that demonic buzzing sound.

"Oh, no. Not the bees. Not the bees!"

The patch in the sky started to fall towards Yuka with astounding speed. It broke up into thousands, millions of bees, each one insistent on protecting its master.

They swarmed Yuka in an instant, too fast for her to react.

"AAAAAH! OH GOD, MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAH! AAAAAAH!"

The flower youkai flailed around helplessly as the bees overwhelmed her, while meanwhile the bee youkai controlling them rose to her feet. She wiped the dirt off her face, smiling at Yuka's plight.

"Aw, poor you~ That's what you get for messing with Zatsuza-chan!"

She was the youkai form of a video game character, sent to Gensokyo because she had been too difficult to unlock and no-one believed she really existed. The power of manipulation of bees wouldn't have sounded very fearsome otherwise, but Yuka was clearly not doing too well.

Or so it had seemed.

"Flower Sign [Reflowering of Gensokyo]!"

A sphere of beautiful golden bullets erupted from within the swarm of bees, tearing apart the attackers completely. Zatsuza herself was far away enough to dodge the attack with ease, but her minions had not been so lucky. Yuka put away her spell card, uninjured besides for a few new holes in her parasol.

"It must have been entertaining for you, thinking you could win with a pitiful army like that. Well, how does it feel now~?"

Yuka lifted up her parasol, ready to strike again. Zatsuza grimaced, stepping back as her eyes flashed gold.

"You...you have robbed me of everything I possessed! Y-Y'know, what you've done to me is just plain unforgivable!"

Zatsuza rose into the air, a yellow aura rising around her. Yuka watched her with morbid curiosity as the bee youkai's eyes grew less and less sane.

"I'll...I'll punish you myself and see to it that you die a miserable death with my AWESOME weapon!"

She clicked her fingers, and immediately the aura ignited into a wall of fire that surrounded Zatsuza entirely. Her eyes were a pure shade of gold now, and she swung one arm haphazardly at Yuka as she revealed a spellcard. For some reason, a song started playing from nowhere in particular.

"DIE, MAGGOT! LEADER BEE [PEACEFUL DEATH]!"

As the last word slipped out of her mouth, an impossibly-dense barrage of bullets emerged from her in two specific shades of red and blue. For a moment, Yuka simply stared at the bullets as they approached, far too quick and numerous for her to ever hope to dodge.

"Oh, what the fuck is this?!"

Yuka pulled out her parasol, her hand reaching into it. She touched a spellcard attached to the inside of the parasol, and immediately its white colour grew blindingly radiant.

"Sun Sign [Master Spark]!"

A brilliant beam of white light, as strong as the light from the sun itself, burst through the bullet barrage and straight towards the still burning Zatsuza. Yuka wondered for a moment why her clothes didn't seem to be burning, but she soon decided staying alive was her top priority at the moment. The bee grimaced for a moment, but with another click of her fingers a blue shield surrounded her, absorbing the spark completely.

"GODDAMN BOMB INVINCIBILITY!"

Yuka shouted out in frustration as her attack failed, the last few specks of light fading away. The impossible barrage came towards her again, unfazed by her previous efforts.

Wait. Maybe it wasn't impossible. Yuka examined the pattern closely, and sure enough a plan came to her. She whipped out one last card in the nick of time, the red and blue bullets almost stabbing into her chest.

"Phantasm [Nature's Beauty]!"

Every bullet Zatsuza had fired was nullified for an instant. Yuka stood where she was, smiling proudly but otherwise doing nothing.

"...Eh?"

The bee youkai was confused, watching as her attack started again. The flower youkai didn't even make an attempt to dodge, and after two desperate bombs from her opponent Zatsuza's attack finally made contact, striking her opponent hundreds of times over.

Yuka's body instantly dissolved into a pile of sunflower petals.

"Wha...a fake-"

A tap on her shoulder. Zatsuza was unkeen on turning around, but she forced herself to do it anyway.

"Ah, the old 'second Yuka' trick. Works every time~."

Yuka smiled in one of the most frightening manners Zatsuza could even imagine. The bee youkai turned around fully, ending her barrage back in the flower youkai's direction.

Only to watch every bullet miss completely.

"Huh!?"

Yuka had spotted a weakness in Zatsuza's attack - a single point in space where none of the bullets would strike her. Better still, it was almost right in front of Zatsuza herself, and given that she had no melee capabilities it would be all too easy to beat her to a pulp with that umbrella of hers.

"Now, I think I need to pay you back for that poor, innocent sunflower you killed, don't you?"

Yuka lifted her parasol, ready to smack Zatsuza with full force this time. Her opponent, trapped in place by her own declaration, only managed to get out one last cry before her opponent's attack hit.

"D-DAMN YOU, SAFESPOTS!"

Pichu~n!

The bullets behind Yuka dissipated, and the music from before came to a halt. The flower youkai allowed herself one sigh at having rid herself of the intruder, then another to recover from the exertion that it had taken to do so.

"...I haven't had to declare so many cards in such a short time in years. I can't imagine a human could ever have defeated her. Not that that's a problem for me and my sunflo-"

Yuka looked down at the Garden of the Sun, her face falling completely as she realised that the bullets Zatsuza had been throwing about had been effective in killing everything in the area except her. Freshly cut sunflowers lay strewn on the ground, decades of work destroyed in a single barrage.

The handle of Yuka's parasol snapped in her hand.

"FFFFFFFFFFFF-"

[Spidere]

 :V

If it involves Yuuka, I shall be the first to meet it.

[Alfred F. Jones]

I was waiting for Hibachi-chan, buuuuuuuuut

She clicked her fingers, and immediately the aura ignited into a wall of fire that surrounded Zatsuza entirely. Her eyes were a pure shade of gold now, and she swung one arm haphazardly at Yuka as she revealed a spellcard. For some reason, a song started playing from nowhere in particular.

Oh geez.

I lol'd. :]

[Sana]

But I liked my Sagat VS Shou idea. :<

This is good too though!

[Sapz]

Rou.

You are the greatest person I have ever met, and this is the best piece of fiction ever to be written. That was GLORIOUS.

* Sapz brofists

Spoiler:

Oh man, that Wickerman part cracked me up so hard, ahahahaha.

[♛ Apher-Forte]

BEES.mp3

you are awesome

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

Bees.

My god.

[Yamachanadu]

I am so tempted to post some kind of BEES demotivationals.  Possibly involving that socially ackward bee thing.

[E-Nazrin]

Awesome.

[Zengar Zombolt]

"I'll...I'll punish you myself and see to it that you die a miserable death with my AWESOME weapon!"

Hahaha you did not do that did you

[HakureiSM]

I'm not really into Orin. Actually, I barely know anything about her. But I always liked Satsuki Rin for some reason, and this is awesome.

[FinnKaenbyou]

And now for a very much unexpected follow-up.

---

"Awful dusty in here."

It had been a few years since Ran had given this place a good once-over. Up until now she had always trusted the cleaning job to Midori, but recently she'd started to suspect her daughter was doing her best to cut corners where it wouldn't be noticed. She'd been tempted to give Midori a good talking-to about it, but the children were entering adolescence now. It was a phase, or at least that's what the book from Kourindou had said on the subject. A slightly smaller helping of desert tomorrow night would probably be enough to get the point across.

Ran tiptoed into the back of the room, trying her best not to disturb the girls sleeping next door. There were still boxes piled up here - old belongings that needed to be moved to make room so the kids had somewhere to sleep. They'd long outgrown the days of sleeping on their mother's tails, though Akai had gone to painful effort to make her pillow out of the same material. Painful for Ran, anyway.

Careful steps carried her into the sea of boxes, resisting the urge to sneeze as she brought up a wave of dust into the air. Midori had been taking shortcuts, alright. Maybe her slice of tomorrow's cake would 'accidentally' fall to the floor...

"Hm?"

Behind the boxes, well out of view from the rest of the room, there was something lying in a forgotten corner. Its shape seemed familiar to Ran, though she couldn't immediately remember why. Curious, she slipped through the maze of boxes to get to it.

She reached down, and picked it up with one hand. It was soft, some sort of fabric, and pulling it up Ran saw that it was some sort of poofy hat, a dark shade of green. She examined it for a moment, puzzled.

...Is this Midori's? I don't remember ever seeing her wear it...but I remember making it. Why do I-

An image jumped into her head. A smiling face, belonging to a girl wearing the hat she now held in her hand. It wasn't one of her children, though - it was a different girl entirely, in a red dress with a pair of cat ears-

"Ah...!"

Sixteen years hadn't been enough to wipe her memory entirely. Ran had bonded with the hat's owner for centuries, taken her as her own.

And now she finally realised what had been missing all this time.

---

Meanwhile, in the next room along, four teenage youkai were snuck up tightly in their beds, getting a good night's rest as per their mother's orders.

Or at least, that's what Ran thought. In truth, her children were never very diligent when it came to bedtime - about the only child who ever really paid attention to the curfew any more was Kiro, currently rolling around in her sleep and letting off a quiet murmur or two.

"...Mmm...ehehe, so pretty..."

No-one else knew quite what she was talking about, and she never seemed to remember the dreams by the time morning came around, so apparently it would forever remain a mystery. Kiro had ended up falling behind in terms of maturity, and it was no secret between the other sisters that she was an easy target for pranks and tricks.

In particular, Midori was very 'close' to Kiro in this regard, and tonight one of her sister's long pigtails was enticingly in reach. Currently, though, she was practicing her quick shuffling, keeping track of every card in the deck as she moved them faster than the eye could comprehend. She'd practiced skills like this habitually for years, but her magical heritage gave her talent greater than any human. Why bother with simply counting cards when you could know exactly where every single card was?

"...Psst. Midori. You awake?"

A whisper from the bed across from her. Midori made a mental note of the deck order before lifting her head out from beneath the covers to respond.

"No, I'm sound asleep. You're dreaming again, Akai."

Midori made it a habit to never give a straight answer to any question if she could get away with it. Her riposte earned her a bored look from her sister, with a yawn to accompany it.

"Yeah, yeah, very funny. Just thought I oughta ask you something."

Even with just their heads poking out, it was still easy enough to tell the sisters apart. They had all inherited their mother's golden-brown hair, but they all wore it in different styles - Midori's hair ran long down her back, while Akai had kept hers at shoulder length. Even without that, though, Akai's eyes were a bright crimson, while Midori's where a much more laid-back shade of green.

"Thing is, a buncha the spellcards I was working on have gone missing. I'm pretty sure I can make out the sound of you shuffling cards down there, so..."

"They're playing cards, Akai. Just get some sleep."

A well-rehearsed lie, as Midori slipped a few cards of a different colour to the bottom of the deck. She looked down, turning back to her practice as she started shuffling again.

Her efforts were interrupted by a pillow slamming into her face.

"Seriously, Midori. Mom and I spent ages working on those, so give 'em back while I'm still asking nicely."

Midori pulled away the pillow, pulling herself back upright. She should have known better than to take the cards, she decided - not only was Akai still as clingy as ever, but she was easily the strongest of the four both physically and in terms of danmaku. Looking up, she saw her sister pouting as if she'd been the one taking the hit.

"Okay, okay, point taken. More cards makes it more of a challenge, but they were hard to shuffle anyway."

Midori removed the bottom three cards from the deck, handing them over to Akai. She passed back the pillow for good measure, knowing she'd inevitably ask for that back as well.

"Ruling through fear again, I see. Kaiser Akai never fails to get what she wants, does she?"

A third voice joined the fray, its owner burrowed under her covers with a book in hand. A single ball of light was balanced above her other hand, providing a light source so that she could make out what she was reading. A pair of glasses hung in front of her light blue eyes, and her hair was tied in a well-kept ponytail.

"Kyzur...? If you're gonna mock me, at least do it in a language I can understand, Aoi!"

"Not my fault you don't speak a word of German, is it?"

Currently her attention was focused on the book in front of her, an obscure piece written in a language that almost none of Gensokyo recognised. Her mother had called it Cyrillic, and said it was the language of a country far to the west of Gensokyo. She also noted that knowing Cyrillic would be, for all intents and purposes, useless to her.

Aoi's response was simply to shrug her mother off and get back to reading. Why did fun have to be useful in any way to her?

"And on that note, I peeked in on your little writing session. I don't see why you want those cards back so badly - you couldn't come up with a single idea, could you?"

The old rivalry between Akai and Aoi had died down for a while, but as they hit their teens it came back at full force. Aoi had learned ways to gain the upper hand without resorting to violence - her sister may have been the stronger one, but she could win in a contest of wits any day of the week. She had her own spellcards as bookmarks, and unlike Akai's they actually had incantations and names, while hers were simply blank pieces of paper.

"Uh, well, that's because you've got the whole reading theme to work with. I'm just having trouble finding a niche, that's all?"

"Don't worry, I understand. It must be so difficult finding poetic ways to say 'Fire A Thousand Lasers Of Red Death'."

"W-Well...dammit, just shut up and get back to that book of yours."

Aoi didn't even lift her head from beneath the sheets, smiling as she heard Akai grit her teeth. She decided to keep note of Kaiser Akai, though she'd have to be careful - if she ever figured out that she was basically being called a man there would probably be a lot of pain involved.

This was all an ordinary enough night for the Yakumo children, though. A little teasing, some nasty words being flung around, but ultimately they did care about each other deep down. They'd just never been in a position where they'd had to depend on each other rather than stand on their own.

A fact that would change in the next 24 hours, as a cry from the room next door pulled them away from their petty disputes. It was the cry of a mother, screaming for a lost child.

But the name being called didn't belong to any of them.

"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"

---

This story seems to have undergone what I've termed as Sango Syndrome - the new members of the Yakumo family have made the jump from one-shot gimmick into full blown OCs. -_-

I may end up giving it its own topic starting from the next entry. Assuming I can find a semi-decent name, anyway...

[Kasu]

Oh snap.  I sense impending drama.

[HakureiSM]

I'm now desperate for four puppies named Akai, Aoi, Midori and Kiro.

[FinnKaenbyou]

sana this took me like 3 times longer than I expected it to BE GRATEFUL >:|

-----

"IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!" yelled a voice from who-knows-where as the two warriors squared up. One, a lean-looking Japanese man in a plain white gi, the determination of a true fighter burning in his eyes; the other, the Goliath to his David, a massive man in a simple pair of shorts, revealing the gaping scar running across the full length of his chest. The mark continued upwards until it reached his eye, where an ominous black eyepatch was enough to show that he had taken more than his fair share of hits.

"Ryu..." the giant muttered, in a tone that had once held hatred but now carried a hint of respect. The two looked each other straight in the eye, the fight beginning mentally before either of them had even moved. Neither of them budged an inch, until finally the Japanese man let out a simple response.

"Let's go, Sagat!"

Ryu took on a fighting stance, his traditional art of Ansatsuken. Sagat followed suit, bending his elbows and knees to take on a textbook stance of Muay Thai. A martial art that made no effort to be flashy or intricate, but focused entirely on efficiency and brutality. None had matched his strength, and the title 'Emperor of Muay Thai' was one none would claim was undeserved.

Then came the first time he had fought with Ryu, and the day he earned this scar across his chest. But those were days long gone, and despite his injury Sagat remained one of the strongest men in the world. Today brought him another chance to settle the old score, and prove that the Emperor of Muay Thai was still the strongest man in the world.

"FIGHT!"

The announcer's voice was drowned out by the screaming crowd that followed it. Immediately the two warriors started their battle, unleashing their attacks simultaneously.

"Hadoken!"

"Tiger Shot!"

Both men held their hands in front of them, producing intense bursts of flame in a manner many would consider physically impossible. The projectiles flew across the arena, colliding with one another in a fantastic explosion. Neither man blinked, as Ryu saw the opening to rush at his opponent. He closed the distance between them in a matter of seconds, raising his hand to send slamming into Sagat's side.

Not fast enough!

Sagat recovered from his attack before Ryu could fully capitalise, bringing his arm down to strike his vulnerable opponent. He bent his knees further still, pushing himself into the air to add even more force to his strike.

"Tiger Uppercut!"

Sagat leapt into the air, expecting his fist to collide dramatically with Ryu's chin. Only after he had left the ground did he realise that his opponent's attack had been a dramatic feint, and he had fallen for it completely.

"Kh-!"

Sagat grit his teeth, waiting to hit the floor in expectation of a punishing combo when he landed. An unusual sound from above him, however caught his attention.

"What the-?!"

Right above him a strange gap had opened up in the air, and there was nothing he could do to stop his ascent. His hand entered the gap, and the crowd gasped as they saw that nothing emerged from the other side. Then it consumed his head, his chest, his legs, until in a matter of seconds the Emperor of Muay Thai had vanished completely.

A thousand shocked eyes watched idly as the gap closed itself, leaving Ryu confused but ultimately victorious.

---

The landing had been no challenge for Sagat, at least. He had practiced the Tiger Uppercut thousands of times over the years, to the point where positioning himself for a safe landing was second-nature. His feet collided with a different surface than what he'd been standing on before - wooden planks, giving off a painful creak as they struggled to hold his colossal figure.

This was not the arena. This wasn't even Thailand anymore. All he could see at his sides were clouds, almost as if this ship - Was it a ship? Was that even possible? - were flying in the air without any sort of engine.

Sagat rubbed at his temples. He had seen many amazing things in his time as a street fighter. He'd seen men shoot fire from their hands. He'd seen a morbidly obese man prancing around like a ten year old on a sugar high. He'd even seen a blonde-haired American Lieutenant be killed off three times at three different tournaments and STILL be considered alive by many of his fans. But this was something that even he had trouble believing.

"Hey. Are you the tiger guy?"

Another voice from behind him. It was no-one from the arena, and the voice sounded distinctly feminine. Turning around, Sagat found himself stunned by several things at once - the cold stare coming from the girl's red eyes, the large grey mouse ears sticking out of her head, and the matching tail that seemed to be holding a basket unaided. Sagat had to look right down to see any of this - the girl was barely at his chest, but she looked up at him without a hint of fear.

"...Yeah, looks like she got the right guy."

"Of course I did. You would doubt me~?"

An older voice this time, belonging to a companion of the mouse girl. A young woman in a simple violet dress, carrying a parasol (needlessly, given that the sun was caught behind the clouds at the moment) and brushing aside a few strands of blonde hair to look him head on.

"I must apologise for the inconvenience, but your little bout was my best opening to bring you here. Call me Yukari, by the way. I won't bother you with the long-winded explanations, but in short I wanted to prepare something of a dream match, and you're one of the proud contenders!"

Dream match, hm? It was a term Sagat had heard more than once before, when he entered tournaments against opponents who were assigned to other fighting networks (the infamous KapuKomu vs. Esenkei tournament, for example), but they'd never involved him being sent through what he now assumed had to be some sort of dimensional gateway. The woman continued talking, apparently not that concerned about whether Sagat was actually listening.

"It won't be anything too convoluted - one match, winner takes all, and if you win I'll send you back home with a nice little nest egg for your efforts. Sound fair?"

The thought of refusal never so much as crossed Sagat's mind. For one, he didn't have a choice in the matter - this woman had presumably brought him here, so she was also the only one who could take him back. He nodded.

"Tell my opponent that they have one chance to reconsider."

The woman with the parasol grinned.

"Ohoho~. Confident, are we? Well, I'm afraid you might be in for something of a surprise, considering fights here don't work quite like they do in your world..."

She looked behind her, to a figure standing in the distance.

"Do you hear that, Shou?! He says he's giving you a chance to surrender!"

She stepped to the side, giving Sagat a clear sight of his opponent for the first time. Immediately his eyes focused on the most important features - the eyes. More than anything, he was looking for the soul of a warrior staring back at him - if he could not find even that, there would be no challenge in this contest at all.

Luckily for him, his request was answered more than abundantly, as a pair of confident blonde eyes looked back at him with an anger that was almost feral.

"Heh. Not a chance, old lady."

With his first inspection returning satisfactory results, Sagat took a chance to look at his opponent in more detail. She was female, much to his surprise, dressed in an intricate red robe with tiger stripes running along the bottom, One hand held a dangerous looking spear - likely no threat to him, though, considering that he'd fought foes with blades and claws before - and in the other sat what seemed to be a jewelled pagoda, glowing with a supernatural light. Her hair was blonde with black stripes running through it, and a single fang seemed to be sticking out from her upper lip.

He was starting to understand why he in particular had been chosen for this fight.

"Alright, then. You two seem ready, so I'll act as referree. Just let me get look at these cards I put together for the occasion..."

Yukari took out a small set of cards, reading over their contents intently. She took a deep breath as she memorised them, before finally throwing the whole set to the side and shouting at the top of her lungs.

"THIS IS GONNA BE A MATCH TO REMEMBER! FIGHT!"

Sagat didn't hesitate for an instant, giving his opponent no mercy. She may not have been Ryu, but she was a warrior, and so was well deserving of his respect.

"Tiger Shot!"

Another attack emerging from his hands, and flying across the ship towards its target with fiery intensity. Shou didn't move until the last moment, tilting her body just far enough to the side to dodge. Her eyes registered boredom.

"Is that it?"

Sagat grit his teeth. He had faced opponents who could brush off his attacks before, but it had been a while since he'd been confronted by one so confident in their own abilities.

"Guess it's my turn, then."

Sagat expected Shou to attack with her spear, but instead she raised her pagoda into the air, closing her eyes in focus. Sagat kept his distance, ready to repel any attack she made with another Tiger Shot if necessary.

With an impressive flash, the pagoda let out a stream of laser-like projectiles. Sagat flinched, but eased himself as he realised that the attack had missed completely. These lasers would miss him entirely-

Or so he thought until they turned at the very last second.

"Gh-!"

Sagat was barely able to avoid getting impaled on one of Shou's attacks, feeling a burning along his side to remind him he hadn't cleared the attack entirely.

"THEY STARTED OFF WITH A SNEAKY SURPRISE ATTACK AT THE START OF THE ROUND!"

Yukari shouted at the top of her lungs again. Sagat was really getting tired of her already, but given that she was his only way home it was an irritation he was going to have to live with. Shou smirked.

"I'm impressed. Most humans would have never reacted to that attack in time."

Sagat raised his hand from the wound on his side, returning his opponent's proud glare. He couldn't be seen afraid of his opponent, or the battle would be lost instantly.

"I am no mere human, I am the Emperor of Muay Thai! Thousands have fallen to my power, and you shall be next!"

"Really? Guess I'll make you test that theory, then."

They looked at one another with both respect and determination, ready for the next exchange to begin. For a second, neither moved.

"Haaa-!"

Sagat darted across the deck of the ship with all the speed he had. He was well aware that there was nothing he could do about that attack of hers, so the only option was to make sure she couldn't use it. Immediately she started to charge the pagoda again, but this time she was too slow as Sagat leapt from the deck with incredible velocity.

"Tiger Knee!"

Shou was too busy charging to have a chance to avoid the attack. Sagat's knees connected cleanly with her chest, knocking the breath out of her and sending her crashing into the wall.

"THAT'S WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL BIG DAMAGE!"

If only he could attack Yukari rather than Shou, he would be so much more satisfied, but such was life. He was not entirely surprised when his opponent rose back to her feet, wincing but still perfectly capable of fighting.

"Heh. I guess you really are tougher than you look."

The pair grinned at each other. This was the thrill of battle, the joy in matching wits with another fighter, and both of them were embracing it.

"All out for this next attack, then?"

Sagat chuckled.

"So you were holding back as well."

"YOU CAN FEEL THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM AS THE-"

""Shut up!""

Both competitors shouted at Yukari in unison, finally convincing the announcer to be quiet. Their faces shifted from irritation, to relief, and finally to focusing on battle.

Shou moved faster than Sagat could hope to stop, emerging at the other side of the deck within a second. She raised a single hand in the air, holding a piece of paper in her hand.

"Light Sign [Absolute Justice]!"

Immediately the pagoda let off an even brighter light than before, exploding into a hundred different lasers, all of which immediately turned on Sagat.

"Gah-!"

There was only one thing for it at this rate. He had to gamble on whether it was possible for these lasers to be deflected, and then use the opening to finish her in one blow. This was it, the entire fight depended on this-!

He charged forward, into the barrage of lasers. Behind him, he could make out the mouse girl giving her ally words of encouragement.

"LET'S GO, SHOU!"

The lasers closed in on him. Instinct alone guided his hand, slamming each laser off into the distance. Behind him two voices called out in shock and awe as Shou's attack was parried with nigh-impossible precision.

"W-What?!"

Shou was caught in place for the duration of the attack, but Sagat continued to charge in the face of impossible odds. Again and again the lasers came for him, and every single one was deflected. The Emperor winced as his arms ached, but his fighting spirit was enough for him to cope with any injury.

Now!

The last laser was knocked to the side. Finally, he had his opening. This next attack was going to use everything he had!

"TIGER..."

He curled his arms in, tensing his body as far as he could. Then, in an instant, a knee flew forward and caught Shou in the jaw.

"...DESTRUCTION!"

The tiger youkai was sent flying into the air by the impact, stunned and unable to stop the followup. A second attack - a fierce uppercut - sent her body back into the air.

"N-No way..."

She could barely utter her surprise before the final blow hit. A second uppercut, but this time Sagat's hand was aflame as if it had fused with one of his own Tiger Shots. He sent Shou a clean ten feet in the air, following her every step of the way with his burning hand.

The world exploded into a sea of colours as Shou passed out.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CRITICS SAY, VIOLENCE IS A BEAUUUUUUUUTIFUL THING!"

There was something strangely satisfying about Yukari's last words, Sagat thought as he landed. Shou obviously hit the ground much harder than he did, but he could make out ragged breaths coming from her regardless. He expected no less from such a worthy opponent.

"SAGAT WINS!"

The giant flexed his muscles one last time with a pair of elbow swings, before crossing his arms in a majestic stance.

"You see now why they call me the King!"

---

He was unsatisfied.

There had been no fight. His opponent had disappeared into nothingness, so what point was there in staying? He would learn nothing from the turmoil that followed.

Ryu returned to his endless journey, travelling the world to strengthen his skills. He felt more at home here than he ever had in a home, and the solitude was enough to give him time to ponder.

At least, until he saw a familiar silhouette standing in the distance.

"Sagat...?!"

The man who had vanished from the arena a few hours ago had returned, apparently none the worse for wear. He smiled proudly as Ryu came into view.

"What happened? Are you alright?"

He could have explained it; he could have told the story of how that gap had led him into a mystical land where he fought a tiger given human form. But what point would there be in that?

"Would you refuse me a rematch depending on my answer?"

Ryu hesitated as Sagat's words rung true. A warrior is always a warrior, regardless of the trials life puts him through. Eventually, he understood, and his hands clenched into fists.

"I still have a lot to learn from you, it seems."

Sagat returned the favour, taking up his Muay Thai stance.

"I will be more than happy to be your teacher."

A moment of silence. A determined glare from both of them. And in the back of Sagat's head, a voice that refused to go away.

"LIVE AND LET DIE! FIGHT!"

[Yamachanadu]

What is this I don't even-

Seriously though, I'm still perplexed as to what inspired you to write this.

Sana requested it. :V

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

You know, mods adding comments to posts like that makes me think it's like some kind of disembodied supernatural voice speaking from somewhere next to the original poster.

<Sakana> Mods? Where? I just see Librarians around here~

So, anyway, hmm, a Street Fighter thing ...

Sagat is gapped into Gensokyo to fight Shou

*facepalm*

... and he wins by blocking each of her curvy-lasers

*facepalm x2 combo!*

<Roukan> It has been two months since this post was made, and only NOW do I get this reference. :V

... so, uh, did he get anything specific for winning besides satisfaction? Yukari seemed to imply he did ...

[Sana]

WHO LET THEM ENTER THE TOURNAMENT?!
Rou this is the bestest : D

[HakureiSM]

Ohohoho this is awesome. Really awesome.

[FinnKaenbyou]

The story is unfinished. It is unlikely to be finished in time for the actual contest.

But screw it, I'm posting part 1 anyway.

-----

For all its supposed demonic power, Makai was a pretty bland place.

"Couldn't you have had the machine take us somewhere more interesting this time, Yumemi?"

"Don't talk like that! We've only just got here. I'm sure there'll be something interesting right around the corner."

Professor Yumemi Okazaki, the only human to hold a PhD in Danmakuology, trudged along Makai's blood-red plains, almost invisible as the colour of her clothing and hair blended in with it. Her assistant, Chiyuri, was reluctantly being dragged into this little escapade, watching as the horizon moved on to reveal yet more empty, red land.

"Look, are you sure you got the coordinates right? I thought you said this would take us right to Shinki's doorstep."

"Are you questioning my ability, Chiyuri?! Clearly you had a little too much to drink last night if you're can't even remember how good I am at this!"

"...But I stuck to the orange juice..."

The strawberry-coloured scientist ignored this last point, looking back and getting a nice glance of Chiyuri's legs. Yes, she was useful as an assistant as well, but this was 90% of the reason she didn't just use a computer instead. PCs didn't have long, slender, beautiful le-

"Ah!"

Distracted by those glorious thighs, Yumemi tripped over something caught in Makai's long path of red dirt. She picked herself up immediately, not realising her clothes were dirty as the colours blended in.

"See? We found something."

Chiyuri sighed, having seen the obstacle coming and letting go of Yumemi's hand in the nick of time. The pair looked down at the object protruding from the earth, with what seemed like a lid on it.

"It looks like..."

"Watch your words, Chiyuri. This is a momumental finding, a great moment for human science. Don't ruin it with a condescending description of-"

"...a giant space dumpster."

Silence.

"Just open it, Chiyuri."

The pair glared at one another, before eventually the sailor kneeled down and pulled the lid off the monumental dumpster of scientific goodness.

Immediately she regretted it, as it released an ominous red light, blinding the pair in an instant. By the time their eyes opened again, suddenly there were four ominous figures looking down on them: a mouse-girl wielding a pair of awkward-looking rods, a hooded figure accompanied by a pink cloud with a man's face on it, another sailor girl wielding around a giant anchor, and a monk with striped hair looking around awkwardly.

"...Um, guys? Anyone seen the pagoda? I'm sure I was carrying it when I got sealed away..."

The tiger-coloured monk looked around nervously, while the other three tried their best to look threatening to scare off the human explorers. Both of them, however, had focused their attention on the anchor-wielder, Murasa, with completely opposite emotions.

"Uwaah...your legs...they're so..."

"The hell do you think you're doing?! The sailor uniform was my gimmick, dammit! I'll sue you-"

"NAMUSAAAAAAAN!"

A voice roared from within the space dumpster, literally blowing Chiyuri and Yumemi away into the distance. The four servants who had emerged looked towards it, seeing their master finally emerge. She had been sealed away long ago for crimes against logic, and even now she flaunted the gradient hair that many had deemed the work of the devil.

"Good morning, Hijiri-sama. It's good to see your hair is as beautiful as ever."

Byakuren Hijiri stared at the hooded figure, shrugging.

"Not like I'm trying. It started as an effect from the lighting, and then it all went downhill from there. At least I didn't end up like Shou did."

Her eyes turned to the monk, still running around in a panic.

"Okay, seriously, I'm sure I had it. It was somewhere around here, I know it. Nazrin, do you-"

"No."

"Are you su-"

"Yes."

"But I-"

"No."

Shou paused for a moment, eventually falling to her knees and weeping quietly. Byakuren let out a deep sigh.

"I need some better servants. Really. Let's just start with the usual deeds."

"Head to the first dimension we can find, take it over, and rule like queens?"

"Yup."

"S-Sounds good, but can we wait until I find the-"

"No."

-----

"Say, Marisa. I've been wondering."

"What is it, Reimu?"

"You ever feel like something's...off about this place?"

"C'mon, Reimu. Nothing's unusual about Gensokyo High School. What, you think someone went and built this place for the sake of a plot device?"

"Well, sorta..."

"Maybe you oughta see Dr. Komeiji sometime, Reimu. You're thinkin' too hard."

Existentialism wasn't a subject that typically passed around Gensokyo High (technically Gensokyo Academy for Girls, but that wasn't worth mentioning for obvious reasons), but apparently the young shrine maiden found it worth discussing as she made her way to her next class. There was something awkward about this place, about all her classmates, her teachers - they were people she could have sworn she'd beaten up at some point in the past, each and every one of them. Apparently, some mysteries would remain unsolved.

Marisa, her classmate and best friend, quickly pulled her away from that theory. She gave Reimu a playful shove, knocking her into a pair of queasy-looking girls standing at the wall.

"'Ey...whadday think yer...?"

The shorter of the two spoke up, nearly stabbing her companion with her demon like horns. She groaned a complaint out between sips from her gourd. Next to her, a taller student with a single horn kept a sake dish upright, with better balance than the rest of her body.

"Look 'ere, Suika. 'pparently Miss Red White thinks she can screw with us 'n' get away with it."

"Yeah, Yuugi. Just 'cause she's some Student Council Prez...gets to wear that special uniform with the sleeves...ya think we wanna see yer pits or somethin'? I'ma show you how...how..."

Suika looked set to start an attack, but her fist found the floor as her knees buckled. Reimu had long since stepped backwards anyway, glaring at Marisa.

"What? You can't deny laughing at those two isn't funny."

"Maybe, but not while I'm on the job."

Reimu muttered beneath her breath to ensure her words didn't make it anywhere other than Marisa's ears. Truth be told, she was President mainly because she had the highest grades in the year, as always. She had never studied - hell, she hated studying - but somehow she miraculously scored perfect results in every exam. There was an entire council of teachers dedicated to figuring out how Reimu was cheating, but so far they'd turned up nothing. They made the same efforts to determine how Marisa achieved such high scores, but they were roughly as successful.

Marisa was a cheater. Reimu wasn't.

"Ahaha. You fell, Suika."

Yuugi laughed at her fallen comrade, her eyes slightly glazed over. Suika took this moment to pass out on the floor, her gourd somehow standing straight upwards to avoid spilling. The two oni were the school's best-known delinquents, mainly for their ability to beat the living daylights out of any student or teacher who screwed with them. At least, assuming their drinks had been in the single digits that day, otherwise they were more or less useless wrecks. Reimu would laugh at their plight if she could, but duty and all.

"Anyway. Quit your yappin' and let's just get to class. Y'know Professor Kamishirasawa hates it when you show up late."

"How should I know? You're the one with first-hand knowledge of her penalties."

"Those horns hurt, okay? I had to bandage up my forehead for a week."

Shifting the subject to the teachers, Reimu put aside her paranoid concerns. She had a feeling, though, that something about today was unusual...like a great evil had emerged from somewhere, and she would have to fight it along with a group of other girls in a giant robot.

She made a mental note to stop sharing Marisa's mushrooms at lunch.

-----

"Oh, goddammit. That's another world record, kid. Are you screwing with us?"

Gensokyo High was a school of overachievers, and the swimteam was no exception. An official sat dumbfounded as he clicked the stopwatch, confirming that Nitori Kawashiro had shaved milliseconds off her breaststroke time yet again.

"Screwing with you? I've got no idea what you're talking about, sir. A record's a record, right?"

The kappa stuck her tongue out at him, causing his face to suddenly flash red. He scribbled something down on a notepad.

"...Your cheque will be in the mail in a few days. Now get back to class, Gym's over."

Nitori was all too happy to comply, pulling herself out of the pool and prancing with glee to the changing room. Of course she had been screwing with him - if she wanted she could have destroyed her time by seconds, but because she earned a nice cash bonus with every record broken she settled for barely outdoing herself over and over. That money would help to fund her research - or at least repair the damage she'd managed to do to the science lab last week. They'd been nagging her about that for a while, but she insisted that if you didn't make your laboratory blastproof then it deserved to get torn apart.

Nitori didn't bother drying herself - she'd put money into creating a waterproof school uniform which she just wore over the swimsuit. Besides the occasional droplet of water from her hair, there was nothing to worry about. In a matter of minutes she was already in the corridor again, walking to her next class.

Art. Gah.

Whoever said that science was an art was a blatant liar. Nitori was hardly the next Leonardo, to be frank - anything beyond basic geometry was just about beyond her. She slumped toward the class, only propelled by the promise of money in the next few days. Behind her, there was a squeaking noise.

A flash filled the corridor from right behind Nitori. Or rather, right under her.

"This is, like, such a sweet shot! I've gotta make page 3 for sure!"

That accent. That angle. That boasting. It had to be-

"DAMMIT, HATATE!"

The tengu had risen to her feet again by now, having slid flawlessly between Nitori's legs and taken a clear shot of the swimsuit beneath. Immediately she started on the only logical option - running like hell.

"H-Hey, wait! You'd better not publish that! Don't you need consent for publication nowadays?!"

"Like, no-one pays attention to those rules anymore! And I'm hardly gonna let some filthy rules get in the way of beating out Shameimaru!"

Hatate was the Vice-President of the Journalism club, and helped in producing the school's monthly paper, the Bunbunmaru. Although 'paper' was perhaps too generous a term for it, considering that it was mostly a dispenser for various embarrassing photos that made the club a lot of 'friends'. Hatate wasn't the only journalist, though - the president, Aya Shameimaru, was better known and more feared, and in the last few months the VP had upped the ante in an effort to take control of the paper.

No-one was really grateful for it, to say the least.

"Get back here! You aren't getting away with-"

Actually, she was. Journalism required two key skills - the ability to take good photographs, and the ability to run really, really quickly. Hatate was blessed with both of these, and Nitori quickly found herself trailing behind.

"Heheh...this is gonna be a great scoop. Forget page 3, this is gonna be a headliner for sure! 'Swim Captain Kawashiro Mixes Business With Pleasure'! Ooh, I can smell the inches already!"

Hatate drifted off into her own little world, picturing Aya's story as a tiny paragraph somewhere around page 12. The rest of it was her, all her, digging up the dirt on every misgiving of every student there was. They'd fear her, all of them, and the name Hatate Himekaidou would be one no-one laughed at ever again-

"Eh?"

Something caught her by the foot. By the time Hatate was conscious enough to realise what had happened, she had already slammed into the floor. The camera slid along the floor, lost and crushed among the crowd. Hatate's heart tore itself apart at the sight.

"Oops, sorry~. Are you hurt?"

A hand came down to help her up, its owner being a grey-haired girl with a smile that could make a heart melt. That, or reintroduce you with what you'd eaten an hour ago, depending on your resistance to moe. A purple, eye-like decoration hung from her chest, clenched shut. Hatate grit her teeth.

Of course. Who else is going to stop me other than freakin' Komeiji?

Koishi Komeiji was...an odd student, to say the least. Everyone knew her, recognised her, but at the same time no-one was sure what she actually did. She never seemed to take classes, and she wasn't at any clubs either, but everyone had experienced walking past her in the hallway at least once. There was something about her that hung in the mind, somewhere in the subconscious. She had a sister who was the school counsellor, but even SHE didn't seem to know anything about Koishi.

She was the sworn enemy of the journalism club. Without fail, when either Aya or Hatate were fleeing from the scene of their worst heists, she would be there, and she would somehow ruin the plan singlehandedly. A foot conveniently held out, a floor uncleaned leading to a trip-up, an accidental nudge into a dumpster. And when the time came to extract vengeance and embarrass Koishi, the effort failed completely - no matter how risque or shameful the photos they took of her, Koishi still strolled around with the same carefree smile.

Why did she do these things, when she had no idea what had happened or who was coming? Because it somehow felt right.

Hatate slapped away Koishi's hand, her face twisted into an almost unnatural expression of rage.

"Look, girl. You're, like, really getting on my nerves now. I'm not an idiot, I know you're going outta your way to screw me over. Aya hired you, didn't she?"

Koishi tilted her head, puzzled. Behind them, Nitori finally caught up, and rejoiced at the sight of the destroyed camera.

"Aya? You mean the other newspaper girl? I think she said the same thing about you, actually, but you're both wrong. Sorry, I guess I'm just unlucky~."

"Unlucky?! Don't give me that shi-"

The bell cut Hatate's profanity off, and also brought the argument to an untimely end. Hatate's eyes turned to her watch.

"Huh? That time already?! Crap, I've got 2 minutes to make it to Calligraphy with Professor Hieda! We'll settle this later, Komeiji!"

Hatate sprinted down the corridor, quickly disappearing into the crowd. Koishi simply stayed where she was, glancing at the swarm of students and smiling to herself.

"She's a nice girl, I know it. I get the feeling we'll have to work together sooner than she thinks~"

-----

"Yukari-sama."

A severe voice echoed through the chamber.

"Eh...wuzzit, Ran? 'm sleeping..."

"It is about Makai. Hijiri has escaped, and she plans to attack Gensokyo."

Silence.

"So?"

"Yukari-sama, shouldn't you just use your power to get rid of her again? Seal her away, send her back to Makai, something like that. Aren't you omnipotent?"

"Eh...too tired. Too much work."

"B-But...what do we do about her?"

"Just get some kids together to do it. We'll give 'em that...that fancy robot thingy we've been saving up."

"...You want me to bring together five random teenagers, give them magical powers, and then give them control of the Hisoutensoku? Yukari-sama, perhaps you need to think this o-"

"Not just any teenagers, Ran."

Silence. This time, of the dramatic flavour.

"Recruit a team of teenagers with attitude."

[Zengar Zombolt]

Jesus fuck.
This was bound to happen.