> Patchouli: Ascertain legitimacy of items.THESE LOOK LEGIT. You can tell from some of the sparkles and from seeing quite a few magic items in your time. The immense number of points you've sank into MAGICTECH allows you to identify most enchantments at a glance.
Besides, oni are honest to a fault. It's pretty unlikely you'd get scammed by one, especially one who seems to have as much UNBRIDLED ENTHUSIASM for running a shop as this one does.
> Patchouli: Purchase Unidentified Spellbook.
First order of business! You promptly acquire the UNIDENTIFIED SPELLBOOK. You look at a few more pages of it to see if you can make some sense of the thing.
The text is pretty small print, so there's a lot of content in this book. You think the text looks vaguely middle-eastern in origin, but you don't know any of those languages so you have no idea if that's what it actually is. Spellbooks from that part of the world tend to be on subjects of DEMONS AND SPIRITS or NUMEROLOGY, which makes them kind of a pain in the ass to work with, but interesting nonetheless!
You add the spellbook to your inventory. The book is rather heavy, but you have a PASSIVE ABILITY that dramatically reduces the weight of books for the purposes of inventory size. You can easily carry around quite a few of them.
> Patchouli: Purchase Ballet Ring.You ask the oni merchant if you can give it a try before buying it. He agrees. Upon equipping the innocuous-looking piece of jewelry, your mind swims with imagery of GRACEFUL YET POWERFUL MOVEMENTS.
Stricken with an INSATIABLE URGE to dance, you promptly perform an ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTE of exquisite beauty.
However, this SUDDEN SURGE OF SKILLFUL SPRYNESS is far too much for your pathetic VIM score to handle. Your muscles and lungs burn as you recover from your short-lived athletics. You are in no shape to make regular use of this item right now, but it's certainly one of of the more potent body enhancers you've encountered. You decide to purchase it anyway for further study.
With this item equipped, you can perform some IMPRESSIVE FEATS OF DEXTERITY, although the pain will render you immobile for a few moments afterward.
> Patchouli: Purchase Hate Potion.
The meddling you could do with kind of this thing is closer to Remi's territory, but the potential applications are endless.
> Patchouli: Purchase Backup Candy Backup.
You buy and equip the small pouch. You now have FOUR BACKUP CANDY SLOTS!! This item seems incredibly overpowered for the price. You're actually a bit worried that you might be breaking the game and making it TOO EASY for yourself.
You mull over all the new BACKUP CANDY configurations you are now capable of. You could have TWO GOODS and TWO PLENTIES, or maybe you could even do something crazy like THREE PLENTIES! Oh man, now that you think about it, you could even have FOUR DIFFERENT CANDIES in each slot. The possibilities are overwhelming. You'll just have to experiment.
> Patchouli: Purchase Sparkly Hairclips.
You buy the bag of crappy hairclips and hand it off to the fairy maids. They are overjoyed to receive it.
Removing their STANDARD ISSUE MOB CAPS, they try out the hairclips. For some reason, after doing so they seem to acquire a VAGUE SENSE OF INDIVIDUALITY. If they could just pick up a fourth fairy for their group, you figure they could be the stars of some generic shitty moe show or something. It almost makes you want to learn their names. Almost.
Sakuya makes note of the fact that you have been very nice to the fairies today. Actually, now that you think about it, despite their VAST INCOMPETENCE you don't generally give the fairies a hard time, especially compared to your relationship with YOUR FAMILIAR. You wonder why that is. It's probably because you know they're too stupid to do their jobs even when they try, so you cut them some slack. Yeah, that's probably it.
You have gained a few FAIRY AFFECTION POINTS.
You are shocked to learn that you have AFFECTION POINTS! You forgot those existed. When was the last time you got any?
You are even more shocked when you realize this means you have a Fairy Route. Why do you have a Fairy Route? Why do you have routes for Kirisame and Kawashiro, for that matter!? Do they just throw everybody you know on here?
> Patchouli: Check status and inventory.
While checking your stats, you note that apparently the Blue Ribbon has a 1% chance to summon a chicken when you get hit. Interesting.
Looking closely, it looks like there's room for up to twenty slots of Backup Candy, but items or passives that give you even one extra slot are incredibly rare. You really scored big today!
> Patchouli: Approach stage.With that all sorted, you make your way towards the stage in the back of the enormous cavern that contains FORMER HELL'S SHOPPING DISTRICT. Surely there will be a changing room backstage that you can use to switch back into your pajamas and rid yourself of this disgraceful dress. Sakuya does not know why you are headed in this direction, and appears to be too tipsy to care.
As you approach, you begin to feel the rumble of heavy bass under your feet. There is a small but active audience at the stage, gathered around some large speakers; and sitting at a booth a booth up top, you are surprised to see none other than the well-known DJ KISSY MAY. She appears to be holding a public FREESTYLE RAP SESSION! With her is...isn't that the youngest Prismriver?
You look on at some of the bolder fans that have stepped up to the stage.
Amateurs. You could destroy them. They're just having fun, regardless, so no need to get your bloomers in a twist.
You decide to go get changed, and come back and watch a bit more afterwards.
OH SHIT SAKUYA WENT UP THERE.
> _[
sorry for the :wikipedia: that looked a lot smaller in notepad D: ]
