Well, it's a start.
>Get to fillin' the place with undead, mindflayers, and more. I'll make this a dungeon even Epic-Levels will fear treading into!
5: You start getting some high-level goons in the place. It's shaping up to be a proper lair now. (+1 to your next roll)
>Go beat up some mind flayers, and possibly Hanzo, during a vigorous constitutional.
5: You lay some gentlemanly beatings about! Your suit also eats a couple of them. You can't find Hanzo, though. (+1 to your next roll)
>Head back home and have a steak
6+1: You head back home. Your home is now made of steak. It's...dribbling...
Phooey. 
> Step into the scanner and virtualize.
1: You manage to Mobius your scanner up something fierce. It scans itself and explodes violently. You don't even want to wonder what effects that will have on the code.
> Leave the Twisted Abyss, taking the milk with me
2: One does not simply walk out of the Twisted Abyss. Its black gates are guarded by more than just horrors...there is madness there that does not sleep, and the great Void is ever watchful. It is a barren waste, riddled with milk, and storms, and dust - the very thoughts you think are a deadly trap. Not with ten thousand footsteps could you do this. It is folly!
Sad face.
>See if the core can be converted into something usable.
3: You attempt to use the core on something else, but you don't have anything that takes a CT7 core! This thing is useless! (-1 to your next roll)
> Shake hands with Edible. He's a worthy undead opponent.
1: You go to shake hands before realizing the two fatal flaws in the plan. One, Boos don't have hands! And Two, he's looking at you!
You quickly hide your face.
>Go back home and and analyze it. see what it's supposed to do.
3: You play around with it for a bit, but as your house is not a monastery, it doesn't do much but exhaust you. (-1 to your next roll)
> #@fo2ifj923fl@#F2 until Popcorn appears in inventory, in order to properly watch hijinks ensue.
5: #*J$#%@#$%!Qmnn38@#%$
!@"MIN@#($@(
There doesn't seem to be a popcorn entry, but you get some candy, at least! (+1 to your next roll)
awww
> Wax existentialism with nearest entity willing to listen
3-1: You can't wax existentialism! It's not a concrete object!
Geez!
>There doesn't seem to be much going on. Go and find someone that might be particularly interesting.
5: You have found a tower! It is tall and ominous! You hear ominous - but interesting - sounds! (+1 to your next roll)
>Reincarnate as a Unicorn youkai.
5: You reincarnate as a Unicorn, dood. You even managed to accrue enough mana that you come back as Average instead of Good-For-Nothing! (+1 to your next roll)
>Challenge contestants to an arm wrestling competition.
6: You ambush everyone as they attempt to leave the chess tournament and wrestle them into submission with your peanut arms!
>Send some gullible adventurers out on a quest to rescue my non-existant daugter.
3+1: You convince a group of surly armed men (once you get them to stop checking your shelves and closets) to go help your kidnapped daughter. Hopefully that'll get rid of them!
>Conquer the rainbows with my Rainbow Robot Azathoth and Kamen Rider Kabuto things.
3+1: Your array of mecha is impressive (and wtfworthy!), and you quickly manage to secure the outer rainbow layers of the Venusian defense system! But the inner layers are on high alert and are calibrating targeting systems to destroy the invaders!
OBVTOWN DAMNIT
no, shadoweh
you are the scum
and then shadoweh was the scum> Move on to defeating bigger and better robots like Rainbow Robot Azathoth and Kamen Rider Kabuto. The boss will be impressed if we slaughter something bigger!
3: You attempt to backstab the mecha invasion of Venus, but some stray shots from the system fly out your way! (-1 to your next roll)
You get another message from the boss. He is screaming various obscenities now. You hear explosions.
>Must... not... wake... Daddy...
6: Silence. A moment of perfect soundlessness. Shhhhhhhhhh.
Your arm falls off.
BUFFEDHanzo
Cho'Purvis
Smashy
Patorikku
Sourfang
OUCHEDMomijibot
GT
Shadoweh
SERIOUSLY OUCHED-
DEADED(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADEDPesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
QUIT(Sourfang)
