>Win all the matches to earn a game with Dithmus Bis by getting enough Star Tokens
3: You win a few matches, and are feeling pretty good, but then some kid with a cap and ski mask hits you in the back of your head and steals your star
chips tokens! Oh no! (-1 to your next roll)
... Fine :|
>3F@(@#Jf@#FIN@ until all the ouchies are directed onto the nearest octopus
2: #$*(%Y@QH%$nk hrj6%$*
You're back in Figaro. This isn't working.
Fuck that.
:ohdear:
> ...enter halfway through the game
5: BIZOOP. (+1 to your next roll)
> Stab at the nearest person, other than myself, with the sword that occasionally emits audible snoring. "Damn a madness! Send a man mad!"
4: You palindromically stab at Hanzo!
Hanzo must roll to dodge!5: You sword gets caught in his exposed ribs. Ig. (+1 to your next roll)
Wow that actually worked.
> Ask if there's any milk around here. Out loud.
6: You ask in a booming, thunderous roar for some milk. In the Twisted Abyss, this is a very bad thing to do.
It's called the Twisted Abyss for a reason. It's a place that responds to people's thoughts and words, but rarely in the manner they intend. It's one of the many reasons the CATACLYSM MUFFIN is as legendary and difficult to create.
In your case, you hear an ominous rumble, and the crest of a wave breaks over the nearby hill. A foamy, creamy crest.
Uh oh.
> Upgrade to the battleship in a desperate bid to bankrupt Kasu!
2-1: You dump Battleship pieces on the board! It's a slaughter! Boardwalk is shelled into submission within minutes!
> Counter Edible by investing in a submarine! Battleships are weak against subs!
1: You pick up the destroyers. Those things are impossible to hit!
>Hahahaha! Schezo, my mortal enemy, has been felled! ...Why does it feel so empty? Attempt to fill this void by kill all of the animals players.
5: Omnicide is the only answer. (+1 to your next roll)
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of this update!Clearly, I have made a sword worthy of the Gods.
>Display the powers of the Ironfoam Blade to the nearest person!
2: You try to show it off to people, but they're all giving you funny looks for getting so excited about a foam sword...
>Heal Sourfang first, THEN go look in Mars, he goes first.
1+1: You jump down off the cliff to heal Sourfang. That may not have been the best idea. You spend a little while healing yourself instead.
Still, better than the least time when I rolled a 6 and managed to revive someone else.
>Examine new form
4: You appear to be a Momijibot. Huh.
>Remove glove and strike Dormio in the face with it to challenge him to a proper duel.
>The glove is, of course, part of the suit.
3: You remove the glove to strike him across the face, but seeing the moment of weakness, Dormio strikes your exposed...appendage, knocking the glove away! (-1 to your next roll)
Aren't you still dead?
>Establish defensive perimeter around Venus to defend the unicorns, Mars (Aqua) is peaceful and needs no defense. And with said perimeter, bombard Dormio to death.
6: You protect the unicorns so effectively that they are effectively invulnerable. They thank you for your service and kick you out.
Ungrateful bastards!
and you can't bombard someone with a defensive perimeter how does that even make sense You pilfer a couple cannons from the defense systems and take aim!
Dormio must roll to dodge!4+1: Removed from the targeting systems, too, it turns out. (+1 to your next roll)
>Good thing Unicorns are highly allergic to Peanut Butter.
1: No, wait - you're the one allergic to Peanut Butter! Crap!
>Attempt to revive self into Azathoth via robot unicorn dream powers, but not before nullifying that mastered skill with Jinouga lightning powers.
6: Robot unicorn powers do not work that way. Nor does that passive.
You settle for tuning one of the unicorns into Robot Rainbow Azathoth.
The universe itself cries out at the horror.
>Use new chess set to play ULTIMATE CHESS!
5: You get a game of ULTIMATE CHESS going! It's got slaughter, death, strategy, and for some reason a frisbee.
(+1 to your next roll)
UK: 4-1: While frantically attempting to recover your star
chips tokens, you are hit in the back of the head again. Ouch! (-1 to your next roll)
Dr. Awkwardj: 4: You tumble out of the way, shouting "War, sir, is raw!"
Hanzo: 3+1: You're an undead draco titan juggernaut thing. You're practically unkillable at this point.
Sourfang: 1: In your wounded state, you cannot evade the attack.
Sourfang has died!Phlegeth: 1: You do nothing, and death comes for you.
Phlegeth has lost the game!Edible: 2: Noooo! Your beautiful fleet!
Edible is seriously wounded!Smashy: 5: $*#%@#$%Nmn! (+1 to your next roll)
Marokuu: 1: Spacing out can get you killed.
Marokuu has died!Shadoweh: 4+1: Safe in the lair of your nefarious master, the attack passes you by. You spend the time trying to be less clumsy >_< (+1 to your next roll)
Allosawyou: 3: You are battered (hah) by the tide, and Dormio too. (-1 to your next roll)
Cho'Purvis: 5-1: The suit is still quite effective, even missing one glove.
The Bob: 1: Curse...you...peanut butter...
The Bob has died!Desu_Cake: 6+1: You send out your zombie chess piece army to defend you!
Dormio must roll to dodge!1+1: Ouch! A powerful blow from the White Queen!
Dormio is seriously wounded!GuardianTempest: 4: You hide underneath Sourfang's corpse, and for once remain quiet.
Nanaya Kikasu: 4: ROBOT RAINBOW AZATHOTH PROTECTS YOU
Patorikku: 6: You duel with your ironfoam blade!
Dormio must roll to dodge!4: Somehow, you are able to go toe-to-toe with him wielding a toy sword. This is incredibly silly!
Conqueror: 1: Another passive observer.
Conqueror has lost the game!Momijibot: 2: You may be a momijibot, but that doesn't mean you can fight like one.
Momijibot is seriously wounded!Chisou Taizen: 6+1: BIZOOP!
Dormio must roll to dodge!5: That wasn't even an attack. That didn't do anything! (+1 to your next roll)
Kasu: 3: Dormio's blade may not work too well on ghosts, but it still hurts a bit. (-1 to your next roll)
BUFFEDSmashy
Shadoweh
Dormio
OUCHEDUK
Allosawyou
SERIOUSLY OUCHEDEdible
Dormio
Momijibot
DEADED(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
Sourfang
Marokuu
PERMADEADEDPesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
QUIT(Sourfang)
