Wounded: Uncle Bob, Shadoweh, Squawkuhashi Parsee, Dorian G., Hanzo K., Ran Yakumo
Beeved up: Paper Conan, Smashy, Crow Cakes, Fightest,
Wounded with a -1 to my next roll?
Looks like things are off to a great start!
>Mislynch Shadoweh.
2-1 =1: You loudly testify the innocence of Shadoweh to all and sundry. You get pegged as scum yourself by a passing imperial agent!
Roll to dodge!3: The agent firmly clouts you on the head for your cheekiness and calls you an adorable scamp. (-1 to next roll)
>Gain powers of Alex Mercer and Cthulhu.
4: You gain the power to be a cannibal. Or rather, you just decide you could really go for a nibble on your neighbor. Either way, same difference.
> Search for more things to kill.
My bloodlust rises. :3
3. You wander around, and find a peasant after slipping on some orphan blood and falling down the mountainside. (-1 to the next roll)
> Embark on a quest up the Niger River
2. You have no idea where the Niger River would be in Creation. Or where to get a proper boat... Curse you, Logistics! May the rats take your eyes!
>Steal Pesco's shoes
1. You take pity on Pesco's dashed expedition hopes and give him your shoes. Poor li'l guy.
> Waylay a samurai on his way through the town, taking his possessions and becoming a ronin. We shall be Tsuruchi Shadoweh.
4-1=3. You find a passing samurai who just clouted some guy declaring your innocence very loudly, clout him on the head, and steal all his stuff! Then you cut yourself play around with the sword like a mukluk. (-1 to the next roll)
> Poke and prod a Solar shard until it decides to embed itself in me, along with all the relevant perks.
5+1=6. You poke and prod the shard, and suddenly all of them merge with you! You become the pinnacle of evolution, the incarnation of war and destruction, able to override physics itself with the force of your will and a good wrench. You become an ork.
>Become the Twilight Solar Exalt
5. You, on the other hand, because a measly Twilight Solar Exalt. You can practically hear the universe sigh in disappointment. But at least it also takes pity on you! (+1 to the next roll)
>Acquire as many wood blocks as we can. Don't want to get caught in the middle of the night without shelter!
2+1 = 3. You collect all sorts of wood blocks by accidentally making the tree fall on your foot. (-1 to next roll)
Oh suwako y u guise du dis without mi
> Create an iPad out of peanut butter and patent it.
1. You create a room-sized vacuum-tube computer out of bullion cubes and patent it.
> With the Power of Justice, Avenge the Orphans!
6. You explode with Justice and Just Us and do your damnedest to nuke Ex-Nue from
orbit really far away!
Roll to Dodge!3-1=2. The horror...the flash of light, the blast of force. The invisible radiation tearing at your being. Were there any other survivors? You stumble away from the remains of a one-happy village, now a terrible wasteland.
Ex-Nue is seriously wounded>Check self for status
6. You check yourself for status, and find all of your little health issues you didn't know you had. A quick trip to the acupuncturist later, and you're feeling fresh and fancy free! And you made an friend in that cute little nurse, Frank.
>Call in Drop Squad and have them kill everyone in this thread, in exchange for some menial sex since GLA has no funding.
4. With neon pipings and lasers every, the drop squad rushes Creation! It's like Mortal Kombat all over again!
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of the thread!> Go on a world journey to find our purpose in this world.
5. You go on a journey. It is full of exhilarating highs and crushing lows as you see the people of the world and feel their pains and their pleasures. And through it all, you find your purpose: Nachos. (+1 to next roll)
> Head to the village.
5. You head into the village, and find yourself and your chest full of doubloons welcomed with good food and good cheer. (+1 to next roll)
>Find something interesting.
2. You completely fail to find anything interesting or edifying in the world around you. Le sigh...
> Thwart Crow Cakes' attempts to harvest wood, as it could potentially damage my home!
3. You try to kick Crow Cakes while he is down, and trip over the tree. (-1 to next roll)
Crow Cakes Rolls to Dodge! 2-1=1. Rdj falls and headbutts you in the face with such righteous force your head explodes like that one .gif from the 90s!
Crow Cakes has lost the game, and gets the First Fatality Achievment!> Practice throwing mini-axes at random trees while Kasu walks by them. Gotta be prepared :V
5. You fling axes at the trees while Kasu walks past them, and sharpen your technique! (+1 to the next roll)
Kasu rolls to dodge!3+1=4. You were enjoying a free sample of sausage when an axe durn near gave you a free shave!
> Transform back and forth from the statue Mario 3 style
6. Who da tanuki? You da tanuki! You flip in and out of statue shape so many times you have become virtually indistinguishable from Mamizou! Or perhaps you were Mamizou the whole time? =0?
> Tame the Wild Yuyuko by feeding her a delicious freshly caught night sparrow.
1. You refuse to accede to Yuyuko's request for a light dinner and shoo her away. She leaves in a huff and warns you to lead a virtuous life or else!.
> Summon Azatoth.
2. You have no idea how to summon an immense blind idiot elder terror embodying physics itself. Education matters!
>run the bar where the my eternal love works
5. You get to that bar in record time, and are rewarded with a tasty meal and a kiss <3 (+1 to next action)
>Start picking fights with Lunar Rabbits until Yorihime shows up
4. You hit Reisens I and II with a rolled up newspaper until Yorhime shows up; and man, she's not happy!
Roll to Dodge!6. Yorihime tries to cut off your belt and drop your trousers to humiliate you; you react by jumping on the blade and disarming her. Welcome to the impure earth, moonshine! Enjoy your stay!
Not the best way to start a day but better than nothing.
> Try to come up with a master plan for this game
4-1=3: You dream up a master plan, but aren't watching where you're going and slip on a banana peel. Are there even bananas in Creation? Looks like it! (-1 to your next roll)
What the hell is a Yeek?
>Ascend to the level of Disgaea-style Overlord.
Yeeks are a humanoid from the Angband and Zangband games; named after the noise they make when you step on them. They are acid resistant!
4. You become the grand high president and monarch for life of Yeekkind, weilding terrible political and military might!
>Change into Parrot Form.
4-1=3 (what is with this? It keeps happening!)
You turn into a parrot. The whole rearranging organs and growing feathers thing hurts way way worse than it looks (-1 to the next roll)
> Convince the esteemed Minoriko to join us in our evil affairs. You can't take over the world(s) on an empty stomach.
2. You approach Minoriko to woo her over to your dastardly plans. She tells you to take a long walk off a short pier.
>Become a Lunar Exalted.
6. You become so exalted that you break time and retroactively become the moon boss! You are now Toyohime no Watatsuki! Have some peaches.
> Become Scum!Shadoweh
3. You become sucm shadoweh, and nearly get trampled in the press of peoples trying to lynch you! (-1 to your next roll)
>Drop the pen
4+1=5. You drop that pen like a champ, champ. Now it is no longer mighter than the sword. Stupid uppity pen! (+1 the next roll)
Hmm...well, I know what to do next....Sorta.
>Level Grind until I can use the upgrades.
6-1=5. You go beat up random people in the street until you level up! (+1 to your next roll!)
>Find Suwako and join in to what she's doing.
6. You meander over to Gensokyo and find that Suwako is currently unleashing a plague of frogs on the Kappa Village! You run around unlocking doors and generally have a big time letting them get everywhere. Then Nitori decides to test our her new Rocket Lawnchair on you!
Roll to Dodge!2. BOOM! It worked like a charm, and you're left not so comically singed
Schezo is Seriously Wounded!>actually play this time.
1. Screw this rolly dodgy noise. You need to walk the dog!
>Police brutality? I am the Law Bob!
Also, you don't need to include Uncle in my name, Purvis. Save yourself some space-time continuum.
4-1=3 (What the hell...)
You convince then that the Law needs more bruises. (-1 to your next roll)
> Be the dice.
2. You cannot become the dice because you are too busy being the Biohazurd
Oh shit! It's the drop squad! They play by they're own rules, man! Roll to Dodge!
Ran Yakumo 2-1=1: Lasers are worse than being hit in the head...
Ran Yakumo has lost the gameYoukai Jesus 6: Om nom nom they taste like chicken...
Pesco 4: Better a singed tail as you dive down your hole than a singed everything else...
Infinity 4: Your lack of shoes convinces the Drop Squad you aren't worth killing. Ow, your feelings...
Ex-Nue 3: You stumble from that nuclear hell, only to get a boot to one of your exposed vitals.
Ex-Nue has lost the game!Shadoweh 4: Thankfully, hiding in an alley to change clothes is enough to hide from the Drop Squad
Fightest 5: WAAAAAAAAAAUGH! Dem 'umies ain't got nothin' on a roit proper greenie th' loiks o' yoo! (+1 to your next roll)
Anthy 4+1=5 Lasers? Please. You're an exalted. You sleep on these things, probably. You get a nice shower in them (+1 to your next roll)
Evans in Blunderland 1: You learn the hard way that vacuum-tube computers leak poisonous heavy metals when shot up.
Evans in Blunderland has lost the game!NaiceGuy999 The drop squad doesn't take kindly to nuclear payloads being used in the field and steal your kidney. You do not get a bathtub full of ice =[
NaiceGuy999 is seriously wounded!Momijibot 4: You manage to convince them your status is already dead. Go you!
GuardianTempest 3: They decide you are a valis target, and take a Jax-attack to the unmentionables =[ (-1 to the next roll)
Bicycle Doll.S 5+1=6: By offering them nachos, you make new friends!
Kasu 3+1=4: You very nearly get hit when one of the Drop Squad takes down Ran Yakumo
Kyo Tanaka 4: Your lack of interest makes you uninteresting to beat down, so they just push you aside.
Nazrdj 3-1: You get stepped on while trying to get up after that Headbutt heard 'round the world.
Nazrjd is seriously wounded!Smashy 4+1: 5 You get in ever more axe practice sparring with the wannabe Jax dude. (+1 to your next roll)
theshim 1: However Mamizou you might be, you don't take well to lasers in the face.
TheShim has lost the gameOmba 2: You can't prove it was Yuyuko who told them where you are, but you suspect...
Omba has been seriously wounded!Bardiche 4: You were trying to figure out how to summon Azathoth, and missed the whole thing.
ActionDan 2+1=3: With the power of true love and a good meal, you manage to survive having your arm shot off long enough to sew it back on! (-1 to your next roll)
Sanrisa Laser 3: You manage to get away from the Drop Squad just fine. It's Yorihime giving you a kidney hook that's the real problem. (-1 to your next roll)
Dorian G 1-1=2: You know what's worse than slipping on a banana peel? That and a boot to the head!
Dorian G is seriously wounded!Old Man Sour 4: The Drop Squad considers giving you a hard time, but they are driven off by your manic Laharl-esque laughing.
Unconditional Squawkers 3-1=2: Someone put poison in your parrot feed =[
Unconditional Squawkers is seriously wounded!herdcrabs 3: You can't proce that Minoriko told the Drop Squad about you. But you have suspicions...(-1 to your next roll)
Amraphenson 2: The Drop Squad does not like Toyohime's attitude one bit, and demonstrate it with unnecessary lasers...
Amraphenson is seriously wounded!PX 5-1= 4: Thankfully, being trampled makes a great hiding place!
Paper Conan 3+1=4: Being without a pen, you are also less mighty than the sword and not worth the Drop Squad's time.
Hanzo K 6+1=7: Oh shit! More grinding! lelele~
Schezo 3: You crawl back to Creation only to be shot by a stray laser.
Schezo has lost the game!WHMZakeri 3: While walking your dog, one of those jerks runs up and punches it really hard! You are heartbroken. (-1 to your next roll)
Mr_Bob 3-1=2: Man, not only is the law brutalizing you, now paramilitary squads are, too!
Unconditional Squawkers is seriously wounded!Biohazurd 6: You are too busy being Biohazurd to be shot up by some laser goons.
Beeved up: Fightest, Anthy, Smashy
Wounded: WHMZakeri, herdcarbs, Sanrisa Laser, Action Dan, GuardianTempest
Seriously Wounded: NaiceGuy999, Nazrjd, Omba, Dorian G., Unconditional Squawkers, Amraphenson, Mr Bob
Ded: EXNue, Crow Cakes, Ran Yakumo, Ex-Nue, Evans in Blunderland, TheShim, Schezo
God, that took two hours...
