Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Hakurei Shrine~ => Patchouli's Scarlet Library => Topic started by: Molten on April 26, 2011, 02:33:27 PM

Title: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on April 26, 2011, 02:33:27 PM

Important message: Info about the future of this fic is in my latest post. Take a look there before reading.


Ever since i wrote the the lore for a League of Legnds champion i have been wanting to try write something else. Combine with the fact that i barely do anything on my spare time i decided to try and write some kind of Touhou fanfic/story. So anyways, here we go. My first try, ever. And since english isn't my native language, prepare for spelling and gramatical errors galore!

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Some kind of Prologue

I was just minding my own business. Going to school, going home, eating and sleeping, everything i knew was about to change. I had no clue when it was going to happen, where or why but it just did. The day had begun like every other day, waking up, eating breakfast and getting ready for school. It was on my way to school that i felt something strange, as if someone was watching me, but i didn't care about it then and just kept walking. School went on just fine. It was the same things as last week, and the week before and the week before that. During lunch i felt like i was watched again, but i figured it could have been anyone so i didn't mind it and went on. It was after school, i think the clock was about 14.50, i saw something violet glowing in the distance. Being the curious person i am, i decided to investigate. Little did i know this was going to change my life forever.

The glow came from a nearby forest, the people taking the same road i took must have been confused as she watched me walk straight into the forest and now that i think about it, i seem to be the only one noticing the glow. Anyways, after walking about fifteen meters into the forest i saw it. It was some kind of hole in the ground. It had a dark violet glow and it was almost eye-shaped with what seems like smaller eyes inside of it. The hole also had two red ribbons on it, one on each side. When i went closer to take a better look at it i heard a voice from behind me. "I wouldn't do that if i were you", the voice said.
I quickly backed away from the hole and turned around. There i saw a woman unlike anything i had ever seen. She was wearing a long light pink and purple dress. On the front of it there were some symbols but i couldn't say that i have ever seen them before. She had long, blonde hair and a white hat with a red ribbon, i had never seen a hat like that either. On one of her hands she was carrying a pink parasol. She looked at me with a slight smile on her face and then said "So, you have finally arrived". I was confused and didn't understand a thing so i decided to ask her a question.

-Who are you? i said to her.
-Me? Im Yukari Yakumo and i come from a world far away from here, she replied.
-What do you mean with "finally arriving"? i then asked.
-I have been watching you for the last month or so, you were a bit different from the rest of the people here. so i decided to take a chance and find out if you could see me, Yukari answered.
-See you? Why wouldn't i be able to see you? i then asked.
-You see, im not from this world. I come from a place called Gensokyo and not everyone can see me when i decide to leave from time to time, she then said.
-What do you want with me? i then asked, hoping this would be the last question.
-Since you can see me i wondered if you would like to come to Gensokyo, we seem to be running low on humans right now, and it seems you would be a good candidate to take with me, se said.
-What is this 'Gensokyo' like? i asked, wanting to get some information.
-It's a wonderful place filled with adventure, good food, rich environments and nice people, she then answered.

I turned around and started thinking. "This actually seems like a good idea, i mean what could possibly go wrong", i thought to myself. I started thinking about what this place would be like and i didn't notice that the hole grew a bit bigger and that Yukari slowly walked closer. What i did notice however what a slight push from behind me and i fell into the hole. From behind me i could hear Yukari's voice saying "Hope you will have fun". As i fell through the hole i notice that all the eyes in the hole was looking at me. After falling for about a minute and a half i started hearing sounds. The wind blowing, trees moving with the wind and raindrops falling with high speeds at the leaves, all of these sounds was like music to me after the flight through the hole. Then, all of a sudden, all the violet disappeared and some kind of landscape appeared. I however didn't have much time to watch it as i was flying through the air at quite a high speed and managed to crash into a tree. Everything became black...

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on April 26, 2011, 06:40:42 PM

1. It begins

?Oh god, my head!? was the first thing that came to my mind after the crash. I was trying to stand up but I couldn't,  I felt pain everywhere . Then I heard a voice from inside the forest I just crashed into,?It?s supposed to be around here?? was the only thing I can hear the person say, but based on the voice I could come to the conclusion that this person was a young woman. I started thinking about who this person might be and what she was doing out here. I was interrupted by the woman, who managed to see me, and ran towards me.

There was something was weird with this girl. She, just like Yukari, was wearing some kind of outfit that I have never seen before. She had a pink shirt with a black vest on. She had a black skirt and perhaps the oddest thing about her is that she was wearing a witch's hat pith a pink ribbon on. She had blonde hair and a braid that goes down on her left side, tied with a pink ribbon. In her right hand the held what looks like a broom.

?Hello mister, are you allright?? she said to me while I was lying there next to the tree that I crashed into. I didn't answer because I was in pain from the crash. She continued to ask questions, ?You wouldn't have happened to see any mushrooms around? Im looking for this golden mushroom with brown spots??. I decided to try to get up again but it just wasn't possible. She noticed that I was trying to get up and decided to help me get up. A few minutes later I was standing up again, leaning against the tree and I finally got two words out of my mouth. ?Thank you?.

-Hello again mister, what is someone like you doing out here, ze? She asked.
-I got pushed through a hole and somehow ended up here. You wouldn't mind telling me your na ? , I said but she interrupted me.
-The mushrooms! They are here! You were just lying on them, ze, she yelled and then went to pick them up.
I looked at her, slightly annoyed, let out a grunt and she turned back to me.
-Oh, sorry mister. It?s just that I have been looking for these quite some time, ze. she said.
-It?s okay, I replied. But could you tell me who you are and where I am?
-I am Marisa, ze. And you are currently at the Forest of Magic, she answered.
-Could you tell where to find a place to stay? I asked, pointing at the sun which was currently going down.
-Of course, let me just? she said as the picked up her broom which she must have dropped.

She told me to get on it and she would take me to somewhere I could stay. I was a bit scared at first but then she grabbed my wrist and pulled me on. ?Doesn?t anyone from this place have manners?? I thought to myself as we flew off. The view was fantastic from the sky, i could see the lush, green forest that we were flying over, a large mountain in the distance and a village perhaps a kilometer or two ahead of us, however, we were apparently not heading there. Instead Marisa was flying towards a house in the middle of the forest.

?Well, here we are!? she said just as we reached the ground. ?I thought she was going to take me to the village but I guess this will do? I was thinking for myself. Marisa went to the door, opened it and walked in. I could hear her voice from inside the house yelling "Come on in, ze.? I finally went inside and everything was a mess. ?Oh don't mind all the stuff, I was gonna clean up, eventually.? She said to me with a big smile on her face. She looked at me and said ?Come over here and sit down? while pointing at a chair, standing in the middle of the mess. When i get to the chair she asks me if I would like some tea. I politely say ?yes? and she goes out to her kitchen and I get the chance to look around.
The room I was in appeared to be her living room. The chair I was sitting on was an ordinary chair made out of wood, not painted or anything, just a plain wood chair. There was however loads of shelves and all of them were full of books. There were so many books that they didn't fit in all the shelves so they were lying on tables, chairs and even on the floor. The table in the living room was a dark brown table and its surface would have been really shiny if there wasn't even more books on it. On the floors there were even more things. Books, mushrooms, blankets, more books and even some dolls were lying on the floor. Finally, Marisa came with the tea and sat down on a chair similar to mine.

-So, do you come from the outside? Marisa asked.
-The outside? I said confused.
-Yeah, judging by your clothes you are not from here, she then said.
With what I had seen so far I guess I was the one looking weird. I was wearing a pair of jeans, black socks and brown sturdy shoes. I also had a green t-shirt and a brown jacket. I was also wearing a pair of glasses and a wrist watch.
-So, what is this place? I asked Marisa.
-This is Gensokyo, a truly wonderful place, except for the occasional fights here and there. There are also lots of books, she replied.
-I see that, I replied.
-So, how did you get here? Marisa asked.
-Like I said before, I got pushed into a hole by someone named Yukari, I answered.
-So Yukari did this? She said.
-Do you know her? I asked.
-Well? Something happened to spring a while back so I and two others went to fix it. We managed to fix it but then the person behind it wanted us go find Yukari because of some weakened border or something like that. We had a fight and now we kind of know eachother, Marisa answered.
-That?s quite a story, I replied.

It was starting to get late and Marisa showed me where I could sleep. She pointed at a pile of blankets telling me that it will be comfortable. I finally lie down on the blankets and try to go to sleep, but it was easier said than done. After about one and a half hour I managed to fall asleep.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Blackraptor on April 27, 2011, 06:15:50 AM

Some of the dialogue feels like I was reading an IIRC chat log or a conversation on Twitter. You may need to take a look back and think about the formatting a bit. Other than that, so far so good and I want to see where you're gonna take this.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on April 27, 2011, 06:31:56 AM

Thank you for the feedback, i greatly appreciate it. Dialogue hasn't really been my strong side (that and descriptions) but i am looking to improve.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Blackraptor on April 27, 2011, 06:56:53 AM

Read some of the stories in the library (the fanwork listing is a godsend for that) and check out how some of the other authors format their dialogue and do descriptions and find the style that you're most comfortable with. I was pretty damn bad at descriptions, especially fight scenes, which was why my first fic was a romantic comedy. Just read more and write more and you will improve.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: CrowCakes on April 27, 2011, 07:33:24 AM

This is fine, really. Just the formatting that's off. Here's one thing I'd like you to know: whenever someone talks, always use quotation marks to denote speech.

Sleeping in Marisa's house? He's gonna have his stuff stolen! Also, DAMMIT YUKARI!

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on April 27, 2011, 07:51:34 AM

Okay, got it. When i get home i will probaly read some stuff here and then get on writing again.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: pokecatch on April 27, 2011, 11:45:11 AM

nice story! I want more!

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on April 27, 2011, 04:20:04 PM

First of all, i would like to thank you three people who gave me feedback/commented. Since this is the first time, ever, i have done this i greatly want as much feedback as possible, even if the feedback is someone telling me that i write like shit. Also, i tried something else for dialogue, hope it's better. Enjoy!

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The next day I woke up to a really weird smell followed by a large explosion-like sound. I flew up from the pile of blankets, and went to Marisa?s ?kitchen?. The room was like her living room in most ways, there were things everywhere. The thing that set this room apart was the fact that this room had some kind of oven and that the room was full of mushrooms. There was also Marisa standing there, covered in soot.

?Whaaa, that didn?t go right.?

She was standing at a table and on the table there were about 15 different kinds of mushrooms, most of them also covered on soot. She was holding some kind of octagonal object with symbols on it.

?What happened in here??

She turned to me, slightly scared since she never heard me coming. She was both smiling and being angry at the same time.

?You can?t just sneak up on people like that, ze. People don?t appreciate that.?
?What are you doing anyways??
?Im just trying to improve my magic.?

That would explain why she was dressed like a witch. It would also explain all the books with crazy and non-logical titles that she had in her living room.

?With mushrooms??

She looked slightly annoyed when I asked the question.

?Have you got any better idea? These mushrooms are magical and the forest is a perfect place to find them.?

She was right. It was kind of smart since the forest is filled with mushrooms, she would have a large supply of them. Also, since she lived in the middle of the forest she wouldn?t disturb anyone with explosions like this. Or at least I thought?

After Marisa cleaned all of the soot of her, we had some tea and bread. I had never been a fan of tea before but this wasn?t bad at all. Then, all of a sudden, someone knocked on the door. Marisa went to open it and outside another person was standing. This person had short, blonde hair, like Marisa and Yukari, but unlike them she didn?t have a hat. Instead, she had a headband. The woman was wearing a simple light-blue dress with two pink ribbons, one around her waist and the other one around her neck.

?I have told you to stop with the explosions. There are others around here, you know??
?Relax Alice, i have got this under control. There?s no need to get upset, ze.?
?Im not upset, it?s just? forget it.?

However, as she was about to leave she caught a glimpse of me.

?Marisa, I didn?t know you were having a guest.?
?Oh, that guy? I just found him at the edge of the forest and I helped him. That?s all.?
?So you won?t even introduce me to him??

The both walked in to the living room where I was sitting in the same chair I sat in yesterday. Marisa went and got Alice a chair and then they both sat down.

?Hello.?

Alice raised her hand towards me and I grabbed it, we shook hands and then I decided to answer.

?Hey.?
?My name is Alice Margatroid, pleased to meet you.?

I hadn?t noticed it before, but Alice was accompanied by something. It looked like a tiny person, flying in the air over her shoulder. I recall I had seen something like that lying around on Marisa?s floor yesterday. It was a tiny person dressed in a black dress with a white apron. It had long blonde hair and a big, red ribbon on its head.

?I see you have noticed Shanghai here. She is a doll, I made her.?

A slight smile started spreading across Alice?s face.

?Nice to meet you Alice, and you too Shanghai.?

The doll, startled by my reaction, decided to hide behind Alice?s head.

?How come you two know eachother??

The two looked at eachother and let out a slight laugh. Marisa decided she would be the one to answer the question.

?We met a long time ago, ze. there were demons coming from a place called Makai and Me, my teacher, a shrine maiden and a plant youkai decided to investigate. We ventured to Makai and right when we got there Alice here comes up and fights us.?

Alice looked down into her lap for a second and then Marisa kept on talking.

?Anyways, we dealt with that and then during that one incident I told you about earlier, the one with spring and stuff, we met Alice again. We had quite the battle and after that we have been friends, ze.?

After the story, Marisa went and got some more tea and we three kept talking for a while. Then I decided to stand up and stretch myself a bit after letting out a slight yawn.

?Things starting to get boring,ze??

Marisa gave me a slight smile and told me that I should check out the Human Village. So, as i decided to set off Alice get?s up and asks if she could show me the way. I gladly accept her offer, since I have no idea what?s out here in this world. After saying farewell to Marisa, I and Alice set off to the Human Village.
 

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on April 27, 2011, 06:07:31 PM

This is a lot better than you think it is. Also you've improved significantly since last time. Keep this up.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: pokecatch on April 27, 2011, 08:01:00 PM

do they have at least 1980's tech, enterainment-wise, or does battles cheer them up? maybe you could actually see, or be in, the elephant? (as in, see, or be in, a battle?)

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Blackraptor on April 28, 2011, 01:25:07 AM

Excellent! Formatting is much better than before, making the whole thing easier to read. Please continue.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on April 29, 2011, 06:43:13 AM

A small update, none of these updated are gonna come regularly. Im currently at my father who has a better computer for gaming which is what i mostly do when im here. I still write some, but just not as often. Also, there will be nothing comming out May 13-17 since i will be of to London then. Other then that i like the feedback im getting and i hope you all enjoy the story so far.

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2.Going to Town
The moment we left Marisa?s house, Alice started showing me the way out of the forest and to the town. It was quiet the first part of the way, but when we got out of the forest Alice started talking.

?So, where do you come from??

?I come from the outside.?

?Oh, how exciting. How was it there??

?It was good. I was going to school and having a good life.?

? A school? You mean like the thing Keine has??

?Keine who??

?Oh, nevermind.?

Things got quiet again for most of the walk. I started wondering what time it was and when I looked down at my wrist I thought of two things. Number one is that this place probably is in a entirely different time zone. The second thing was that Marisa apparently had stolen my watch. God dammit, witch. I looked down with a sad expression on my face and Alice started wondering what was going on.

?What is it? Has something happened??

?It?s nothing big, Marisa just happens to have stolen my watch.?

?Is that one of those small things that show the time??

?Yes, it?s a quite handy thing to have. When I have it, that is.?

?If you can?t get it back from her you should take a look at Kourindou sometime. It?s a shop at the forest where the owner sells a lot of things from the outside. Nobody knows how to use them though.?

And with a slight smile on my face I responded.

?Thanks, I will check it out sometime?.

Alice also gave a slight smile and then we kept on walking. Judging by the sun it was starting to get close to sunset. The walk had been taking quite a while but we could finally see the Village now. After about ten more minutes of walking, we arrived at the village. I must say, for being a village it was a lively place. There were people walking around, some of which was looking at me. Alice took me to a building that was a bit larger than the others and knocked on the door. The door opened and a blue haired woman appeared.

?Hello Alice, it has been a while. Are you getting ready for the show this year??

?Yes Keine, I am. But right now I need you to help this person.?

Alice pushed me a bit closer to the door so that Keine could see me.

?What has happened to this person??

?He has apparently come here from the outside and he needs a place to stay.?

?From the outside? Sure, come in.?

I waved Alice goodbye and before I followed Keine inside I told her I had to come and visit her sometime, and with a smile on her face she flew off. Yes, she could fly.

 When I got inside Keine told me to sit down, so I sat down on a pillow on the floor and she sat down next to me. Keine was wearing a deep blue dress with a red ribbon on her chest. Her hair was , as I said earlier, blue and on her head she had a oddly shaped red and blue hat.

?So, how did you get here??

?Someone named Yukari pushed me into a hole.?

?A gap.?

?What gap??

?That was a gap you were pushed into, not a hole.?

?Whatever, the point is that she pushed me and now im here.?

?That troublesome youkai, always doing stuff no one want her to do.?

?So, is she evil??

?No, she is not evil. She just does whatever she wants to.?

As Keine told me that I let out a yawn and her expression got slightly angrier.

?Are you even listening??

?Yes I am, im just tired. I have been walking all day and it seems in not used to the time here yet.?

?Oh, I see. I suppose I should let you go to sleep then.?

She showed me into a little room with a small bed and a window.

?You can sleep here. Tomorrow we should try to find you a place to live.?

?That sounds good.?

As I started walking to the bed Keine stopped me.

?And also, my name is Keine Kamishirasawa. Nice to meet you.?

?Nice to meet you too.?

And then I went to the bed and tried to get some sleep.

When I got up the next morning I tried to look for Keine but she was nowhere to be found. So, I went back to bed because I was still tired and just as I lie down, I hear a door opens. And as I look at the opening from the bed im lying in I see Keine standing there.

?Sorry I couldn?t be here when you woke up, but I had some work that I had to do. Kids won?t teach themsel
ves, you know.?

?Well, today we are going to get some new things for you.?

As she said that a smile started spreading across her face. Shortly afterwards, we were off.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: pokecatch on April 30, 2011, 01:28:04 PM

keine... WATCH OUT! SHE'S HALF-BEAST!

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on April 30, 2011, 08:35:09 PM

Im glad y'all like this so far. I have been writing some today but i probably won't post it untill monday. I think this update is going to get a bit bigger tho.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 01, 2011, 01:15:43 PM

Update time! Which basiacly makes my other post a big lie.

___________________________________________________

When we got outside I noticed that things looked a little bit differently then yesterday evening when I got here. Now there were large crates filling the streets and people putting up decorations.

?What?s going on??
?They are preparing for the Spring Festival. Every spring we have a great festival here in the village, both people and youkai participate. Alice, who was accompanying you yesterday, is going to have a puppet show.?
?So that?s why you asked her if she was getting ready for the show.?
?Yeah, pretty much. Her puppet show is one of the more liked shows during the festival. Anyways, we have places to be.?

As she said that we went off again. Because I had just come here I had no idea where Keine was taking me, so I had to follow her all the way through the village. Then, as we approached a larger building she told me to wait while pointing at a nearby bench. As I sat down on the bench, Keine had already gone inside the building. As I sat there on the bench, looking around, the people walking past me looked oddly at me. Perhaps it was the clothing, in that case the problem would soon be over. I let out a yawn, still not used to the time, as I heard a voice beside me.

?How do you like it so far??

As I looked to my right, Yukari was sitting there.?

?Haven?t you got any manners? First you push me into your gap and now you sneak up on people.?
?Oh, how did you like the ride here??

Yukari started smiling and gave me a pat on the back.

?Not good, at all. I crashed into a tree and could barely stand up. If I hadn?t got any help, who know what might have happened to me??
?That?s the thing with Gensokyo, you never know what will happen.?
?But why did you have to push me into your gap?  You could have let me think about it all.?
?Oh, please. I knew you were going to say yes sooner or later anyways, so I was just speeding up the process.?

As she wais that, the smile on her face grew larger.

?Well I have things to do at other places. See you around!?

Right after she said that a gap opened up beneath her and then she was gone. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I flew up from the bench and looked behind me. There, Keine was standing and giggling.

?Hope I didn?t scare you but im done.?

In her hands she was holding a present.

?Here you go, think of it as a ?Welcome to Gensokyo? gift.?

She handed the present over to me.

?Thank you, Keine. But was it really necessary to sneak up on me like that??
?It?s not every day I get an opportunity like that.?

And then she started giggling some more.

?Well then, shall we go back??

As we went back to Keine?s place i started thinking about what my future here in Gensokyo would be like. Would most people be like Keine, Alice and Marisa or would they be more like Yukari. Perhaps there were people even nicer or perhaps even some evil people. As we got back to Keine?s place I went into the room I had been sleeping in, sat down on the bed and opened the present. Inside the present there was a brown robe-looking piece of clothing. The fabric was soft and yet it seemed resistant to wind. There was also a chest pocket on the robe. As I was sitting there, looking at my new piece of clothing, Keine walked into the room.

?Do you like it??
?It seems really good, thanks again.?
?Well, try it on.?

Keine turned around as I changed from my old clothes to my new robe.

?It looks good.?
?Hmm, I guess it does. But it feels really comfortable.?
?Im glad you liked it. I was going to eat something, would you like some??
?Sure.?

Keine went out of the room and some food. We were both sitting at the same spots as yesterday.

?Since you haven?t got a place of your own yet, I figured I might let you stay here until then.?
?That would be great, thanks!?
?You?re welcome. It?s not every day someone from the outside comes here.?

Then things went quiet, we continued eating and such. When we were finished I decided to head out and take a walk. I thought I would check out the surroundings of the village and such. I headed out of the village and after walking for a while I heard something. The sounds came from someone, flying in the distance. The flying person was wearing a white dress of sorts and a white hat. The person was yelling something about ?The spring is here!? or something like that. Anyways, since the person didn?t notice me I decided to keep on walking.

Now I noticed a shrine standing in the distance so I thought I would check it out. This shrine, just like everything else, was something I had never seen or heard of, ever. There was a girl sitting in front of the shrine, praying. This girl was wearing a red and white dress with detached sleeves. She has black hair and a red ribbon in her hair. It appeared that she had finished with her prayers for today because now she was standing up and she turned to me.

?Hello, can I help you??
?Not really, I was just walking around looking at the scenery.?
?I don?t recognize you, are you new here??
?I guess you could say so.?

She walked up to me.

?Well then. Im Reimu Hakurei, local shrine maiden and youkai exterminator, pleased to meet you.?
?Hi Reimu, pleased to meet you too.?
?Would you like some tea??

I had been walking for quite a while to I thought to myself that some tea wouldn?t hurt.

?Yeah, sure.?

She showed me the way inside and we had some tea. She asked me where I came from and I told her my story. It appeared that Reimu also knew of Yukari since her expression changed a little when I mentioned the name. I stayed at the shrine for most of the day, talking to Reimu and drinking tea. Eventually, evening came and I had to get back to the village. As I was going to leave Reimu approached me.

?You wouldn?t happen to have any money for a donation.?

She was looking at me with huge sad eyes while she was pointing at a box standing outside the shrine.

?Im sorry but I don?t, I just came here and I haven?t got any money yet. But when I get some, I might come here and make a donation.?

As I said that she started smiling.

?I hope with all of my heart that you do?.

I waved at Reimu as I left the shrine and went back to the village. When I got back to Keine?s place it was starting to get dark outside. I went inside and sat down on my bed. As I sat there Keine walked into the room.

?How has your day been??
?Great, I visited the shrine today.?
?So you have met Reimu then, that?s good for you. She is a nice person.?
?It appeared so.?
?You wouldn?t happen to be hungry??

Keine pointed toward the table she had and as I stood up to go there, my stomach growled. We had some dinner and then we just sat there for a while.

?What are you going to do tomorrow??
?Im thinking of visiting Alice. After all, she helped me here.?
?You would have to be careful then. There are dangerous things in the forest.?
?I will, I will.?

After that I yawned, told Keine I had to go to sleep and went to my bed. Tomorrow I would be meeting Alice again and im already looking forward to it.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 03, 2011, 08:33:30 AM

Larger update time. Caution this update contains a terrible attempt at translateing english words to japanese. Ans as always, feedback is apreciated. With that said, happy reading.
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3. A new Life

The next morning Keine woke me up. Apparently, I had been sleeping for quite a while so she was already done teaching for the day.

?Good morning.?

I was still tired but I guess it was time to get out of bed now.

?If you are going to see Alice today you would have to get up soon.?
?Thanks for waking me up then.?

I got up, got dressed and had a bit of food before I went off.

?Be careful out there in the forest.?
?I will, see you later.?

And I was off. I had a vague idea of where to go but fortunally, there were signs showing the way to the forest. While walking on the road to the forest I took a look at the surroundings, and this place was beautiful. Wonderful fields of green, large and majestic trees and a large mountain out in the distance. After walking for a while I could see the forest, but I could also see a building over there. Could it be the place Alice had told me about? The one with the stuff from the outside. I figured I might as well take a look since it was on the way to the forest.

As I entered the building I was amazed. This was the only place so far where I actually knew what most of the things was. There were I-pods lying about, modern clocks, gaming consoles, lamps, a record player and even a computer.

?Can I help you with anything??

The voice came from a man in silver hair, dressed in black and blue, wearing glasses. He was sitting in a chair and reading a book as he noticed me.

?Not really, I had heard of this place and I figured I might take a look.?
?Feel free to look, as long as you don?t steal anything.?

I took a good look at the computer standing in the corner of the shop.

?That?s a computer.?
?I knew that already?.

The man was clearly surprised and I knew about it.

?How come you know that??
?Where I came from, almost everyone I knew owned one of these. Even I had one.?

Now the man was clearly excited.

?So do you come from the outside??
?Yes.?
?Could you tell me how it works?
?You press the power button and it starts up, and when it has started up you can run programs on it which all do different things.?
?I see.?

The man was now holding a pen and a piece of paper, and he was writing down everything I had told him.

?So, according to what you said, it should start if I press this button??

He was pointing at a large button on the computer.

?Yes.?

The man pressed the button but nothing happened.

?Why doesn?t it start up??
?Is it set up properly??

The man clearly had no idea what im talking about. I told him that he needs an energy source for it to work. After I explained it to him I went off again since I had spent enough time at his shop. His name was Rinnosuke and he wanted me to come back sometime and help him some more.

After walking for about 10 more minutes, I had finally reached the forest. Then I realized I had never been to Alice?s house, so I had no idea where it was. I also didn?t know where Marisa?s house were either since we flew there, so I couldn?t go there and ask for directions. I decided to try to find it on my own so I went into the forest.

The trees prevented most of the sunlight from reaching into the forest so it was quite dark, but there was enough sunlight to see where I was walking. I figured I might be lost since the forest wasn?t this thick the other day when I went to the village. I continued on anyways and I managed to stumble upon a grove in the forest.

There was a large open area where there weren?t any trees so the sun was shining quite a bit here. In the middle of the grove, there was a strange stone lying about, i went forward to examine it. The stone looked like a ordinary stone besides the fact that it had a lot of different colors and it seemed to change colors every now and then. Right now, the stone had a dark green color and the edges of it were in indigo. I picked the stone up but just as I picked it up it disappeared and I felt a strange feeling inside myself. Confused by what happened, I continued my journey through the forest.

-----------------------

A green haired girl looked down from a tree on the man who picked up the stone, her stone. Or at least she wanted it to be hers. She had been in the forest for a while now, looking for the best gift ever. Her friend had said that it was her ?birthday? and she wanted to prove to her friend that she was her best friend. She had seen the stone before and she had tried to lift it, but it had been too heavy for her. So she would wait until her friend?s birthday and then tell her where the stone was. But now this had happened and she would have the get the stone back.

-------------------------

I had now been walking in the forest for about an hour and I was sure that I was lost. However I heard someone now, perhaps it was Alice. I started moving towards the sound but when I reached the place where it came from no one was there. When I turned around and started to go back I heard something or someone behind be.

?Take this you thief!?

I quickly turned around and saw someone in the air, trying to land a kick on me. I tried to dodge but I wasn?t quick enough. However, instead on me falling over the person who tried to kick me was the one to fall. She had landed a kick on my chest but I barely felt a thing and she fell down on the ground before me.

?Ow, my foot!?
?What do you think you are doing??

A green haired girl was rolling around on the ground, holding her foot and yelling about how much it hurt.

?Are you okay??

I reached out with my hand, trying to help her stand up but she refused.

?No way, im not taking any help from a thief!?
?Im a thief??

The girl had now managed to stand up.

?Yes, you are a thief. You took MY stone, you thief.?

She didn?t seem to be the brightest person in the world but I was trying to be nice to her.

?How was I supposed to know it was your stone??
?Because? uhm? just give it to me.?

The girl was now floating in the air and she had several glowing green orbs floating beside her.

?Take this!?

She fired the orbs at me. The orbs managed to knock me back but no major harm was done.

?H-h-h-how could you possibly take that? You?re human.?

I have no idea what happened next but somehow I managed to send her away crying that she would get her revenge someday.

I fainted and when I woke up I was lying in a bed. I tried to sit up but my back hurt a lot so I could barely move, but I could look around inside the room. It was a tidy
room with a bed, a desk with a chair and shelves. On the shelves there were dolls, lots and lots of dolls. Someone familiar walked into the room, it was Alice.

?I see you are awake.?
?Yeah.?

It hurt to talk but not as much as when I tried to move.

?You didn?t tell me you had any powers.?
?Powers? What are you talking about??
?So you don?t remember what happened??

My memory was blank and I couldn?t remember what happened after I got hit by the green orbs.

?Nope, nothing at all. Do you know what happened??

Alice looked down into her lap and she felt slightly bad about what she had done.

?I was walking in the forest when I heard someone yelling. I rushed towards the source of the sound and saw you take a kick to the chest. Most people would have flinched or fallen over if they would take a kick like that, however you didn?t.?
?I remember that, she said I stole something from her.?
?Really? What might that be??
?I had found a stone in the forest but when I picked it up it disappeared. Apparently, it was hers.?
?A stone? I can?t recall ever seeing something like that in the forest before.?
?Could you please tell me what happened??
?Okay then. After you got hit by her danmaku, the orbs she shot, you managed to create your own danmaku and defeated her in a duel. I guess the sudden power surge must have made you pass out. After she flew away I ran up to check on you and I carried you here, with the help of my dolls.?

This came as a shock to me, after being just a regular person for my entire life I now had powers?

?By the way, you have never told me your name.?
?What was the point? Im in this place i have never heard about where everything is upside down compared to where I come from. And since I don?t know if I ever could get home my name will just make me want to get back.?
?In that case, why don?t you get a new name? Since you?re starting a new life and all wouldn?t a new name be in order too??
?I guess you?re right. But I don?t know what my name should be.?
?Let me help you. Perhaps something that has to do with your newfound power??
?I don?t even know what my power is??

Alice started smiling.

?You wouldn?t happen to have seen that too??

Alice?s smile grew even larger.

?Actually, I think I do.?
?Then what is it??
?This is just a theory, but the danmaku you created was giant boulders and since her kick didn?t do you that much harm, you must be able to turn yourself rock solid.
So my guess is that you have the power to manipulate the element of earth.?
?That?s quite the theory you have there.?
?There is one way we could test it??

Now I was even more surprised and as she walked to her desk to pick up something I noticed that my glasses were missing.

?Glass is made out of sand, right? In that case you should be able to fix this.?

She was holding my glasses. There were cracks in both lenses and my guess is that she wanted me to try and fix them.

?Even I you?re right, I still have no idea how to use my powers.?
?Just focus on the glasses and concentrate.?

I did as she told me to and first, nothing happened.

?I guess it didn?t work.?
?Just wait.?

Then, all of a sudden, the lenses on my glasses started glowing and before I knew it, the cracks were gone.

?See, it worked.?
?I guess you were right.?

She put my glasses on her desk again, and then she walked up to me again.

?I think I have an idea of a name for you. What do you think about ?Iwachi?? It?s supposed to mean ?Rocky Soil.?
?That sounds good.?
?Great, now get some more rest. Being new to powers can make you tired really easily.?
?Thank you Alice.?

Just as she walked out of the room she turned around.

?Good night, Iwachi.?

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: CrowCakes on May 03, 2011, 09:14:31 AM

Rinnosuke is very amusing; even after a chapter of manga of Yukari explaining to him what exactly is a computer, he still doesn't get it.   :] Something you might want to think about: only youkai get powers, unless it's a human who has access to magic/is a miko. So how the heck did Iwachi get his powers?

Okay, enough of that. I'm going to throw a guess: the green-haired girl is Wriggle. I'm horribly wrong, right? Right?

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 03, 2011, 09:20:31 AM

No, you're correct, the green haired girl is Wriggle. So i think you can guess ho her 'friend' is.
About Rinnosuke, computers takes a while to learn :P
Also, about the powers, who knows. He might somehow be a youkai whthout even knowing it, (which would explain why Yukari wanted to get him to gensokyo).

As you can see, not even i have a clue what's going to happen next. Basiacly, whan i write i sit down, write whatever that comes to mind, spell check and do some sort och internet check.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: pokecatch on May 03, 2011, 11:36:53 AM

Quote from: Molten Wolfie on May 03, 2011, 09:20:31 AM

No, you're correct, the green haired girl is Wriggle. So i think you can guess who her 'friend' is.

either keine or... oh god, sakuya!... maybe put cirno in the mix, and you can do anything about that, battle (since it seems she've "seen the elephant"), talk, maybe learn how to shoot danmaku without knocking out....

on an off-topic note, I've thought of some of my cards if I'm put in, having the same fate of going into the touhou world with him... including that I find I can shoot danmaku. (the character, a male named Joshua)
Thunder sign "Flash of Thunder"
Lighting Bolt "God's Return" (maybe last spell?)
Water sign "Eternal Rain"

of course, I must've read in patchouli's library to learn how to make spell cards.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 09, 2011, 05:04:05 PM

Update time! Haven't been writing that much lately and there probably wont be another update for a while (unless i can manage to write one before friday). Anyways, happy reading.
___________________________

The days went by so fast, or I guess they do when you sleep all the time. It was now a week since the green-haired girl attacked me and I was starting to get my energy back. I could finally manage to stand up again and walk, but I still couldn?t do any movements faster than that. Alice had been taking care of me well. She brought me food every day and checked if I was fine, but I disliked her way to check. She would poke me to see if I was ?rock solid?, laugh a little and then leave me to rest. Other than that everything was fine, she had even sent one of her dolls with a letter to Keine to explain the situation.

?I see that you are finally up.?

Alice was now standing at the door to the room I was in.

?Yeah, im starting to feel better.?
?That?s great. I just prepared some food for you, if you?re hungry that is.?
?How nice of you.?

Alice had been so nice to me this week, maybe it?s because she lives ?almost? alone in the forest and barely has anyone to talk with. Either way, this had been a great week aside from the "attack".

Alice brought in some food for me. I ate and then decided to take a little nap, since I still wasn?t fully recovered. Just before I crawled back into the bed, Alice came to the room again.

?Im going to be away for a while.?
?Why??
?I have some things I need to get done.?
?Okay then.?
?See you later, Iwachi.?
?You too, Alice.?

And then as Alice left, I went to sleep.

--------------------

A woman with nine tails was quickly running through a corridor. She kept thinking to herself what she had to tell her mistress what had happened. She approached a large door, opened it and entered a dark room.

?Yukari, Yukari! Mistress!?

The nine tailed woman was standing next to her mistress, shouting to wake her up.

?You have to wake up Yukari!?

Yukari, who obviously was asleep, quickly realized what was happening.

?Calm down Ran. Whatever happened can?t be that bad.?
?It?s the outsider, he has found his powers.?

Yukari now realized what was happening. She slowly sat up on her bed and started thinking.

?Hmm, I wasn?t expecting it to happen this soon. Perhaps it is time for me to tell him the truth.?
?Are you really going to tell him??
?Yes, it has to be done. However, I won?t do it now. Let me sleep some more and let me think this through.?

Ran slowly left the room, wondering what Yukari was going to do. Yukari on the other hand, was already planning something.

------------------

I was now waking up again. I had no idea of how long I had slept, but it seemed Alice still wasn?t back. I hadn?t been outside for a week so I decided to get some fresh air, since I now could walk again. I was heading for the door but as soon as I reached it, someone opened it. It was Alice, she was back.

?Where are you going??
?I was heading outside, wanted to get some fresh air.?
?Go ahead then.?

I went outside and as soon as my feet touched the ground I felt energized. Suddenly, all the remaining pain went away and I even felt better than before. I went back inside and told Alice about what happened.

?I guess this confirms it, your power is related to the earth. However, it?s not normal that humans get powers just like that. Are you sure that you are just a normal human??
?Im pretty sure I am. But aren?t you human??
?No, im not.?

Now I was slightly shocked. I had no idea that Alice wasn?t a human. I mean, she looks and acts like one.

?If you aren?t a human then what are you??
? I suppose, since you had to ask, I will tell you. I am a youkai.?

Alice is a youkai? I guess all youkai aren?t like Yukari or that green haired one then.

?I was originally a human but after practicing magic for a very long while I became a youkai. A magician youkai, to be precise.?

I guess that explains why she was acting so ?human?.

?But back to you, are you sure you aren?t related to a god or something? Perhaps your parents were talented in magic??
?Now that I think about it, I don?t know much about my family, besides the fact that I grew up with them.?
?I see. Anyways, I have prepared something for you.?
?What might that be??

Alice pointed at a pile of books. I could recognize them from somewhere, but my memory wasn?t the best.

?I asked Marisa if she had any books on the subject of ?Earth Manipulation? and such things. She told me that she had no idea and that I had to look for them myself.?

So that?s what Alice had been doing today.

?And I brought back something else.?

Alice gave off a big smile as she held forward a silver-ish object with a brown strap.

?It?s my watch! But how??
?I managed to get one of my dolls to grab it while Marisa wasn?t looking.?

I decided to put the watch where it belonged, on my wrist. I had been using that watch for a few years and I barely went anywhere without it.

?Thank you Alice!?
?Don?t thank me yet, there is still something else I must do.?

She was pointing at the books again.

?You would have to start reading soon, otherwise you won?t pass my little ?test?.?

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: pokecatch on May 10, 2011, 09:46:27 AM

:getdown:
still awesome.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 10, 2011, 07:22:00 PM

Im glad someone thinks this is

Quote from: pokecatch on May 10, 2011, 09:46:27 AM

:getdown:
still awesome.

Keeps me motivated. :)

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on May 10, 2011, 11:18:42 PM

Ooh, mabye Alice is going to fight the newcomer...

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 11, 2011, 07:32:52 AM

'Nother update! If im lucky i might be able to get another one out before friday because from friday to tuesday there will be no updates. Anyways, here's more to read!
________________________

4.The training begins

Alice had brought quite a bit of books and I was only given few instructions. She had said that had to read through all these books the next couple of days, so that?s what I did. Alice came every now and then to check how I was doing. Then after about four days things started to get serious, just as I put down the last book after finishing it Alice came into the room.

?Iwachi, get outside. Now!?

Alice was sounding a lot more serious now then she was before.

?Why??
?I will explain as you get outside.?

Following her instructions, I went outside only to find perhaps 20 larger dolls standing there, all wearing armor.

?What?s this supposed to mean??
?It?s training. Im not letting you anywhere without some basic knowledge on how to fight, because of you know what.?
?So what am I supposed to do??
?How much do you remember from the books??

Power reading wasn?t something I was good at, by any stretch. So logically, there would be one answer.

?Not that much.?
?Okay, great.?

Now, I wasn?t expecting her to say that.

?Huh, what??
?It wasn?t necessary to read all of them. It was just my way to see if you were up to it. Anyways, let?s start.?

I still couldn?t believe she made me read through all those books for nothing. I guess she was acting a little youkai-ish after all.

?Okay, lesson number one. You will have to be able to create your own danmaku of you are to do well here, and since it?s the most basic thing in most attacks, we will start with it.?
?Okay then, Alice.?
?First of all, you must concentrate. Imagine what kind of projectile you want and concentrate on it.?

I started concentrating. I was imagining a large, sharp rock shard. All of a sudden, the said shard was hovering right before me. But as I got surprised that is worked, I lost my concentration and it fell to the ground.

?Good. But next time, try to stay focused.?
?I will try.?
?Allright, next I want you to create a new one and hurl it towards one of my dolls.?

I did the same as before, I concentrated and the shard appeared again. This time I grabbed it and threw it with all of my might towards a doll. Right before impact the doll stepped to the side, causing the shard to hit a tree instead.

?A bit too slow.?
?How am I supposed to make it go faster then??
?That?s easy, you don?t have to grab it. If you concentrate again and focus it forward it should move. Let?s try it.?

I created a new shard and started focusing. I imagined it flying forward and it went off.  This time it flew about seven times faster and it went straight through a doll.

?You did it!?
?I guess I did.?
?Well, that?s enough for today, we will keep working on it tomorrow. Now go get some rest, my guess is that you are quite tired.?

We both went inside and I went to the room I had been living in the last week. I didn?t feel tired at first but as soon as I was lying down on the bed I fell asleep.
The next day, training started earlier. Alice came and woke me up and told me to get outside again.

?Today, we will be practicing some more with danmaku. This time you will be shooting more than one projectile at the same time. It may seem difficult but as soon as you learn it you will remember it.?

The dolls were already standing ready, even the one I hit the day before.

?Just do like yesterday, but try to create more than one shard.?

I concentrated and imagined ten smaller shards and just like yesterday, they were hovering around me.

?Now for the tricky part, I want you to fire them all at different directions.?

I tried to do like the day before, focusing them at different directions this time but it didn?t work out quite well. I managed to fire them all at the same doll, utterly destroying it, but missing all the others.

?I told you that it was tricky.?

I kept trying but it took it?s time before I managed to do it right. By the time I got it right I had managed to fire them at every wrong direction as possible. But then, at last I got it right.

?You?re a fast learner.?
?Yeah, I guess I am.?
?But you must be tired now, how about you rest a little before we continue??
?That sounds good.?

I decided to sit down outside her house with my back towards the building. The ground felt energizing as I sat there, resting.

--------------------

?Where was it??
?It was right here.?

The green haired girl was showing her friend the place where her ?present? had been.

?It was a stone that changed color and it looked really great.?
?And you say this guy took my present??

The green haired girl was talking to a small person with blue hair, a blue and white dress and a blue ribbon on its head.

?Yes Cirno, he took your present.?
?That bastard! Im gonna find him and then freeze him, then shatter him and after that freeze him again.?

The green haired one was cheering on her friend.

?You go Cirno. You?re the strongest!?
?But, so you know where he is??

The green haired one went quiet.

?Uhm, no.?
?Oh, come on Wriggle. You live in forests, how hard can it be for you to find him??

As Cirno said that they both heard something in the distance.

?Could that be him??
?What are you waiting for? Let?s get him, I want my stone!?

They went towards the place where the sound had come from and they came to a house.

?Isn?t this where that doll-girl lives??

Cirno wasn?t listening to her friend, she had noticed something far more interesting. There was a man in a brown robe sitting next to the house.

?Wriggle, is that him??

Cirno was jumping on the spot, pointing towards the man.

?Oh, it is.?
?Let?s go get him!?

But just as they were going to get him they heard someone else.

--------------------

?Are you ready for training again??
?Yeah, im ready to go.?
?We are almost done with the basics in danmaku. Now we are going to do what we already have done, but faster. In a real fight you won?t have all the time in the world so you have to be quick.?

One of the dolls were walking towards me. This doll, unlike the others was carrying a large shield.

?I want you to break through the shield as fast as possible.?
?But how??
?Just try to constantly fire at the shield.?

I concentrated but as soon as my bullets were ready, I got a smack to the face. The doll had walked up to me and slapped me.

?Too slow.?

I tried again and again and again, but no matter how much I tried I still got a slap to the face. Until, the time I managed to do it. I saw the doll slowly moving towards me and that?s when my instincts kicked in. Over the course of a second, I had created hundreds of small shards, fired them at the doll at the same time I was constantly making new ones. At last, the shield broke.

?You did it. To be honest, I thought it would take even longer.?

I couldn?t answer at first since I barely had any energy left inside of me. But as soon as I started to relax I felt energy coming from the ground again.

?Now, if you don?t mind, I would like to go and rest now.?
?Go ahead.?

I went inside and went to my bed. I fell asleep even faster than the day before.

--------------------

?But? but? how??

Cirno was surprised, she had no idea the guy had powers like that.

?But im sure you can take him down Cirno! You are the strongest after all.?
?Yes, of course I am. But still might need to have the upper hand, just in case.?
?But how??

As they both went away from the house Cirno told Wriggle about her plan. Wriggle was really excited about it. At last Cirno would get her present.

--------------------

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: pokecatch on May 16, 2011, 08:33:03 PM

MOAR :getdown:

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 18, 2011, 05:38:38 PM

Back from London and fueled by Jaffa Cakes, here is a new something to read.
__________________________

The basic danmaku training went on for a few days more and as soon as I had managed to learn it, it was time to learn something else.

?Alright, now that you have learnt how to shoot, you must also learn how to dodge.?

I didn?t notice anything until it was too late, one of the dolls had already fired a ball of energy towards me and I wasn?t able to dodge it.

?When you can dodge that you will be almost good to go.?

So, dodging practice went on for a couple for days, each day I became better at dodging those sneaky shots. I didn?t have the best of reflexes so dodging was hard at first, but as training went on, they became better. Until the day where I managed to perfectly dodge a surprise shot from behind.

?See, you have been making progress.?
?Yeah, and I don?t know why but I actually feel better than before.?
?That?s great. But you will have to rest up now, tomorrow you will face the final test.?

I went inside to my bed, took a book and started reading a bit before going to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be tough, a lot tougher than I expected.

------------------

Cirno wasn?t dumb like most people said she is. In fact, she was the smartest of her friends. So as soon as she heard it, she thought through her plan once more.
I just have to wait until after his test and then when he is tired, Bam! He will never know what hit him.
It was a simple plan yes, but it?s a effective one. Cirno was waiting with great excitement as the sun went down and the next day would come.

--------------------

The next day came and Alice woke me up quite early.

?Good morning, I hope you are ready for today.?
?I sure am. But what is this test??
?Oh, I can?t tell you now. It would ruin the surprise. You will just have to wait and see. But just a tip, check through those books one more time. You might pick up something useful.?

As she left the room I picked up one of the books again and quickly read through it. It took a couple of hours but when I was done, Alice was already standing in the room again.

?It?s time for the test. Get outside and wait for me there.?

I went outside and I was surprised that there weren?t any dolls there today. I quickly took a look around but couldn?t see anything special. But right as I thought that nothing would happen, the ground started shaking and behind the house there was a huge doll dressed in a black dress with a white apron. It had a red ribbon on its head and it was wielding two huge swords. It slowly walked towards me and as it stood before me I noticed that Alice was standing on its shoulder.

?This is the final test. You will have to defeat Goliath here.?

Alice slowly floated down from the huge doll and towards me. She landed right beside me.

?And also, I will be controlling it.?

I didn?t really catch on to it first but then I realized it, I was going to face Alice in a duel.

?You have got to be kidding me.?
?Nope, I can see your potential and I think this will be a interesting fight. Get ready.?

As I stood there looking up towards the giant doll, I heard something from the bushes nearby but I didn?t mind it. I had bigger problems right now.
I just barely dodged one of the swords with the other one coming at me quickly. I threw myself to the side, dodging the sword, but the doll was ready for another attack. I started running around it, trying to get behind and attack, but Alice saw what I tried to do and quickly made the doll turn around.

?That?s not going to work.?
?I see that.?

Another sword just barely missed me and I noticed that the doll was swinging the other one.  I quickly jumped forwards, dodging the attack while conjuring up a few stone spears which I threw at the doll. Let?s just say they weren?t that effective. All of the spears just bounced right of it and I could already see another sword heading my way. I tried to dodge it but it managed to hit my arm as I tried to dodge. I felt a little bit of pain but not that much and there wasn?t a wound there.

?One last tip for you, you don?t have to make danmaku to attack. Im sure you can find another way to deal damage.?

I believe this is why Alice wanted me to read those books. In then there were information on other types of attacks then just regular danmaku. Having that in mind I started running towards the giant doll. I leapt forward, dodging both swords, and kept running until I was under it. There I quickly concentrated and from the ground beneath me, a giant stone pillar appeared, hitting the doll and knocking it down.

?Now I wasn?t expecting that. Let?s get this fight started!?

Alice quickly made the doll rise up again and start attacking me again. I tried to run away from it but it somehow was faster. Then i quickly turned around, concentrated and a giant hole appeared under the doll. Unfortunally for me, I didn?t know that this doll could fly. As the doll was hovering above the hole I got another idea. After concentrating again a giant stone spike flew up from the hole, piercing the doll. The doll was defeated but that didn?t mean it couldn?t do one last attack. The doll started falling towards  me with both its swords ready to make one last cut. I didn?t have much time to react and i didn?t have enough time to run to safety. Then I remembered something else from one of the books and got another brilliant idea.

The doll sliced right as it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, loads of dust flew into the air, causing Alice to not be able to see a thing.

?Wait, did i??

As the dust got back to the ground, Alice ran towards the doll and started to look for me. She couldn?t find me, but I could see her. How I did it, im not sure but I managed to sink into the ground right at the last second and as Alice ran to look for me, I came back up and was now slowly approaching her.

?Are you looking for something??

She let out a scream as she quickly turned around.

?I thought i?i? but how??
?I read it in one of the books, thanks for the tip.?

Alice now went from being scared to being really happy and gave me a hug.

?You passed. But don?t you dare to do anything like that again.?
?Yeah, sure.?

I managed to briefly show a slight smile and she smiled too.

?I guess you are really tired now. You should probably rest a bit.?
?Yeah, I suppose so.?

I decided to sit outside the house again, with my back towards the wall. Alice went inside, most likely to recover from the shock that I didn?t die. It was nice outside, a slight wind and what sounded like kids talking. I had no idea why there would be any kids around here but I didn?t really care, i was going to rest. Then, things started to get cold. The weather was the same as before but it just became cold. Just as I was going to stand up I felt something hit me. This was also cold and now I couldn?t move, I was somehow frozen to the ground. Then I heard a childlike voice

?So, here is the thief??

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on May 18, 2011, 05:58:45 PM

Ah. An Ice Fairy appears!(finally, I was waiting for this particular part\i mean no criticism by this) Things will become interesting soon enough.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 21, 2011, 05:19:47 PM

More stuff to read! I love that there are people that read what i write, if it wasn't you you readers i probably wouldn't have come this far yet. Also, i am open to suggestions on where my little character should go next. And as always, feedback is greatly approved and enjoy your reading.
_____________________________

?What do you mean??
?You took MY present!?
?What are you talking about? And what are you doing??
?IM taking back MY present!?

And then she fired a number of icicles towards my frozen body. All of them hit and it stung through my body. I thought my skin would turn into stone or something but it didn?t, I guess it has to recharge or something. Anyways, the person kept flinging those icicles at me for a while to the point where she made a mistake. She misfired one and it managed to shatter the ice that was holding me to the ground.

?Uh oh, that wasn?t supposed to happen. Well, I guess I will have to beat you up the normal way.?

She threw loads of blue orbs at me and I barely managed to dodge them. She fired again and I threw myself to the side. I quickly created a large boulder and fired it towards the enemy. She dodged by flying to the side but now she was slightly confused.

?Wait, you?re supposed to be tired. Where?s all your energy coming from??

This is where I had the chance to get the upper hand. If I could keep myself from wasting energy I would probably be able to fight at full power soon.

?Who are you anyways??
?I am Cirno and I am the strongest youkai around.?

There was only one way to check if that statement was true and it was also my only option right at the moment. Cirno was getting ready to attack again, and she threw both blue orbs and icicles this time. I managed to dodge most of it but I got hit in the chest. I flew backwards and hit the ground, Cirno was already flying towards me. She landed with one foot on me and she was pressing it down.

?It ends for you now.?

Cirno was holding a long, sharp icicle and she was about to thrust it into my chest. I felt a sudden surge of energy inside of me and as I felt it I knew that this was my only chance. Cirno tried to thrust her icicle into my chest but she was stopped by something. I had managed to create a barrier of rocks on my chest, causing the incoming spear to shatter at contact. I quickly created a rock as big as my head and fired it at the surprised Cirno. It hit and managed to know her away a bit, making me able to stand again.

None of this was in Cirno?s plan and she was starting to get angry. She pulled out a piece of paper from nowhere and let out a loud shout.

?Freeze Sign, Perfect Freeze!?

Suddenly, hundreds of colorful orbs appeared around Cirno and they all started flying towards me. I quickly dodged them but as I did that they all turned gray and stopped. They were now floating around me and I had no idea what?s going on. Then, they started to move slowly and then they disappeared. But before all of them could disappear, more colorful orbs appeared, and flew towards me again. This time they were harder to dodge since some of the gray ones was still left.  A few of the orbs hit me this time and some just barely passed by me.

Now, my instinct was starting to kick in and new knowledge appeared in my mind, knowledge that seemed familiar but yet I didn?t recognize it from anywhere. I was somehow calm and I looked at Cirno. She was flying around, getting ready to fire her next barrage. I raised eight large pointy rocks from the ground and they were all floating around Cirno, pointing towards her. As the fired her next barrage I fired all of my rocks. With nowhere to escape besides up, Cirno flew upwards. But I noticed that and raised a large pillar from the ground in the middle of the floating rocks and it grew with a amazing speed, hitting Cirno from underneath and causing her to lose balance and crash towards the ground. Now, I was in charge and I created a cage made out of stone and put it over Cirno, making sure she couldn?t escape. I walked up towards the cage.

?Had enough yet??
?Yes mister.?

She was sitting in the cage, crying, and I felt a bit bad for her.

?You can go if you want to.?

She stopped crying and slowly stood up.

?Really??
?On one condition, that you never attack me again.?
?Yes, yes, whatever. Just let me out of here.?

I removed the cage from her and she flew away into the forest. Alice then came running from her house.

?Iwachi, what happened??
?Someone called Cirno just attacked me, but im fine.?
?You must be really tired now.?
?Nah, im okay.?

And as I tried to walk inside, I fainted, and Alice had to carry me to my bed again. I woke up about an hour later and Alice was sitting next to me.

?I guess you were tired after all.?
?Yeah, I guess I was.?
?You know what, you should get going back to the village tomorrow. I think Keine might be worrying about you.?

I hadn?t thought of Keine lately so I guess Alice was right. I had to get back and perhaps start looking for a place to live, if I could get my hands on some money that is.

?Well, I guess I should rest some more.?
?That sounds good, see you later Iwachi.?

As soon as Alice left the room I managed to fall asleep again. I slept and I slept until the next day. When I woke up, I was feeling refreshed and I was ready to go back to the village. As I was about to leave, Alice came to the door.

?Goodbye Iwachi, I will be seeing you soon enough.?
?How come??
?The Spring Festival is coming up really soon, and I will be having a puppet show there.?
?Oh, Keine mentioned something about that. Well, I guess I should get going.?

As I was about to leave, Alice gave me a hug. It was a warm and gentle hug, the kind of hug you give to someone on a special occasion. Then, as Alice hugged me and I hugged her, something appeared in my hand. It felt like some sort of stone but when I looked at it I noticed what it was, it was a diamond. A small diamond, as small as the fingernail on my little finger and perfectly cut.

?What is it??
?This appeared im my hand.?

I showed her the small gem.

?I have no idea how it ended up there but I want you to have it, think of it as payment for all this time that you have been taking care of me.?

I handed over the diamond to Alice and she put it away somewhere.

?Thank you.?
?No, I should be thanking you. Who know what could have happened to me if you wouldn?t have found me in the forest. But I think I should go now, I not that good at farewells.?
?Goodbye Iwachi.?
?Goodbye Alice.?

I was waving at Alice as I left and when I couldn?t see her or her house anymore, I stopped waving and went on to the village.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Grimarg on May 21, 2011, 10:18:16 PM

that's really good stuff, I like it, maybe now Iwachi has a way to live without having to work?

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: CrowCakes on May 21, 2011, 11:32:51 PM

In what would have been the words of Cirno: "You haven't seen the last of Cirno!" She'll be back, I'm sure of it.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on May 22, 2011, 12:11:03 AM

Yeah, definitely. Also, I freakin' <3 this.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 22, 2011, 12:18:17 PM

I knew people read this but i didn't know people "freaking <3 this". Now i want to write even more :)

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 22, 2011, 05:03:20 PM

I said i wanted to write even more so here's even more! Hope it is to everyone's liking. And as always, Enjoy!
_______________________________

5.The Spring Festival

After having walked in the forest a couple of times, I was starting to know the way around here. It didn’t take long until I found my way out and before I knew it, I was on the road to the village. I walked past Kourindou again but I didn’t bother to go inside there this time, i kept one walking instead. It felt really good walking again and I was feeling good. The sun was shining, it was starting to get warm, a slight wind blowing from behind and flowers were beginning to blossom. At last, I arrived at the village and I went to Keine’s place. When I arrived, I knocked on the door and Keine opened. As soon as she saw me, re ran up to me and gave me a hug.

“Im glad to see that you are allright.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Alice sent me a letter about what had happened.”
“Yeah, she told me that.”
“Well, come in. I suppose you have quite a story to tell.”

Keine smiled as she showed me inside. We both sat down at the same placed as the first time I arrived here.

“So, Alice wrote that you have some kind of power. Could you tell me what it is?”
“Okay. So, apparently I can manipulate the element of earth or something along those lines.”
“Do you know how to use it?”
“Somewhat, Alice gave me some training.”
“I see.”
“And just yesterday I were attacked by some idiot called Cirno.”
“Oh, the ice fairy. Was she tough?”
“Yeah, I suppose so since she almost killed me.”
“Well, go and take a look in your room.”

I got up and went into my ‘old room’ to see that three, perhaps four robes were lying there. All of them were exactly like the one I was wearing.

“I figured that the one I got for you before might get worn out.”

She was pointing at a few holes in my robe, caused by the fight with Cirno.

“Thank you Keine.”
“No problem. Just like I said before, it’s not every day that we get an outsider here.”

The day went on and all I did the rest of the day was to relax in my bed. I was surprisingly tired even though I hadn’t done anything that tiresome today. Anyways, the day became evening and Keine had prepared dinner.

“What’s the matter? Aren’t you hungry?”

I had barely eaten any of the food she had prepared.

“Im actually not that hungry.”
“Hmm, I see.”
“Keine, I have a question for you.”
“What?”
“You see, I have been slightly confused since my fight with Cirno and during that fight she pulled out what looked like a piece of paper from thin air. You wouldn’t happen to know what that was?”
“That was a Spell Card.”
“Huh?”
“You see, youkai and humans use them to perform ‘special’ attacks. It’s basically a bullet pattern stored on a piece of paper. However, most of them can only be used once in a fight.”
“Oh, so do people name their patterns? Since I recall Cirno screaming something as she used it.”
“Yeah, people do that. It makes them feel their patterns are a bit more unique.”

I slowly stood up and headed towards my room.

“It’s starting to get late, so I think that im going to go to sleep.”
“Good night then.”
“Good night Keine, see you tomorrow.”

After that I went to my bed and tried to sleep. After a few minutes I fell asleep and slowly started drifting off towards the land of dreams. Keine woke me up early the next day. She was rambling on about the Spring Festival and how great it would be. She told me to go out and just enjoy myself today. So I went outside and hoped that I could find the place where Alice was going to have her show.

As I was walking around I noticed that things looked quite differently than the day I first came here. Even though it was early, there were loads of people outside. People had set up stands where they sold food, clothes, various trinkets and other things. After walking around for a while I had made my way to a large scene where I saw a couple of familiar faces. Alice was standing right down by the scene talking to Marisa. I figured I would head over and say hi or something.

“Hey Alice and Marisa.”
“Hello there Iwachi, I see you got here safe and sound.”
“So you have a name? That could have been useful to know earlier, ze. Anyways, nice to see you.”
“Nice to see you too Marisa.”
“So, what brings you here Marisa?”
“I came to see Alice’s show and to see if someone here sells some mushrooms.”
“How’s it going with the show Alice?”
“Great. You know, the training wasn’t only for you. I took the opportunity to train myself some too, it’s hard to control something as large as Goliath.”

As we were talking, someone else approached us.

“Marisa! There you are.”

It was Reimu that had made her way here.

“Hey Reimu. How’s things going at the shrine, ze?”
“No donations as usual.”

She sighed but then she saw me and Alice.

“Hey Alice and you whatever your name is.”
“Hi Reimu.”

Reimu was now looking at me.

“Got any money yet?”
“No, not yet.”
“I suppose I can’t force you to make any money. But if you get some, please make a donation.”
“Yeah yeah, I will.”

Reimu was now looking at the two girls again.

“Anyways, looking forward to your show later Alice.”
“Speaking of my show, I think I have to go and make sure everything is ready. See you all later.”

With that said, Alice ran off towards the back of the scene.

“So what are you people going to do, ze?”
“Take a look around and look for people willing to donate some money for a good cause.”
“What about you Iwa?”
“Im just going to look around.”
“Well then, see ya all later.”

After that was said, the three of us split up and went in a different direction. As I were walking around I came across the same show where Keine had bought my clothes and I decided to sit down on the same bench as last time. I sat there for a while, just enjoying everything that was going on. But then someone caught my eye. It was a woman with silver hair, wearing a dark blue maid outfit. But it wasn’t that which had caught my eye but the fact that she was holding a pocket watch, which reminded me that my own watch wasn’t showing the correct time. So figured I would ask her what time it was.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: CrowCakes on May 22, 2011, 11:16:18 PM

It's Sakuya! Muhahahahaha! I bet this'll lead to something very interesting as Iwachi follows her.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on May 22, 2011, 11:37:58 PM

Let's just hope its not UD!Sakuya. If it were, then this guy's a goner.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on May 26, 2011, 07:04:21 PM

Continuing from my last update, duh...
_________________________

?Excuse me, but you wouldn?t happen to know what time it is??

She didn?t say anything. She just showed me the time on her pocket watch and as I was going to change the time on my watch, it somehow already matched the time on her pocket watch. I was confused, I knew for sure that my watch showed a different time just a few seconds ago.

?How did you do that??

But just as I asked it, she disappeared. This confused me even more, no one just disappears like that. Anyways, I kept walking around in the village and as I walked around I saw quite a few ?different? people. I saw a drunk woman walking around with what I think was two horns on her head, someone with mouse ears, a person with a scroll-like object, someone with a sword and some white thing floating about and a woman soaring across the sky while taking pictures of everyone with a camera.

Hours passed and Alice?s show was about to start. So I went back to Keine?s house, changed into a new robe and went to the scene. It was really crowded around the scene and it was very hard to find a good place to watch from. Luckily, I saw a familiar hat above all the heads so I thought I would head towards it.

?Hey Marisa.?
?Hey there Iwa.?
?Mind if I stand here??
?No problem, ze. I know how hard it is to find a good spot.?

Now, a somewhat shaking Alice was standing on the scene and everyone nearby went quiet.

?Ladies and gentlemen! I am Alice Margatroid and this is my show.?

There were two dolls walking from the back of the scene towards Alice. She made them dance with eachother and the crowd cheered. They flew around in the air, doing all sorts of tricks and the crown were cheering even more.

?And here is the main part!?

Now twenty, perhaps even thirty, dolls arrived at the scene. At first they all stood there but then they took off. All of them flew into the air and, started fighting!!? The dolls were shooting eachother with the most colorful danmaku I had ever seen. All seven colors of the rainbow and they were all here, flying between all of the dolls and the crowd went crazy. But then all of a sudden, all the dolls fell to the ground, causing nothing but silence.

?This is where it usually would end, but today I bring you all an extra part. There is someone here I would like to thank, a person who has helped me to train for this. Thank you Iwachi!?

Shortly after she said that, the ground started shaking. At first, I had no idea why she wanted to thank me, but as the tremors kept going I understood what it was.

?Here?s Goliath!?

A giant doll was now towering behind the scene and the audience didn?t really know what to so. But the doll started moving and the crowd went even crazier. Goliath flew around the scene for a while before it stopped right above it. Then, it started fencing with its swords in the air as if it was fighting someone. This went on for a couple of minutes before the doll flew off.

?Thank you everyone, this is all for me this time!?

And she walked to the back of the stage. The audience applauded wildly as she went away and soon the place was almost empty since people went to see the rest of the festival. Left were I, Marisa and Reimu. But after not so long, Alice came running from the back of the stage.

?What did you all think??
?It was great, ze.?
?What do you think, Reimu??
?It was good, I have never seen the large one though. When did you make it??
?I made it a while back.?

Alice was now looking at me.

?What did you think Iwachi??
?I loved it! But I wonder one thing, what exactly was Goliath fighting there up in the air??
?Don?t you recognize it? It?s back from your training, I remembered how I did back then and preformed it here.?
?What, have you fought that thing before, Iwa??
?Yep, I did. But how did you manage to get it repaired so fast??
?Magic.?

I guess that?s a fact that I will have to get used to if im going to live here. Damn all of the outside logic. Anyways, the four of us were walking together for the rest of the festival. Reimu kept going on about her shrine and the fact that barely anyone came there nowadays and Marisa was on the lookout for some mushrooms. Alice on the other hand was enjoying the festival and so was i. After a while, we went to one of many stands and got something to eat. After that, I took a look at my now fully functional watch and noticed that is was starting to get late. I thanked everyone for their company and went back to Keine?s house. As I walked in, it was empty. Keine wasn?t here, but I walked straight for my room anyways because I was getting tired. I headed for bed and tried to sleep but I started thinking about the future .I had no idea what I was going to do next since I didn?t know of that many people or places yet, but I didn?t care that much about it now. I was starting to get really tired and eventually, I fell asleep.

_________________

Im not going to introduce Sakuya yet, i might be writing on almost purely impulse but i have some plans. Also, i have somethign i haven't had in a while, homework! So it might be a while until the next update. But hang in there and remember that i said might.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on May 26, 2011, 10:48:42 PM

Your signature tells no lies. That is all.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on June 04, 2011, 08:52:29 PM

No update yet, sorry. My mind has kind of run dry, and that combined with the fact that i have got homework for the first time in ages hasn't really made me feel like writing. Im almost done with my homework tho so i will be writing soon again.

But now, there is something else. I said that my mind has run dry but that might not be the exact way to put it. I have a few vague ideas nut not a single good one. so now i ask you *dramatic finger pointing towards you*, all the three- four of you that are reading this, what should happen next. I have personally been thinking about either A. Sending Iwachi to Youkai mountain, B. Sending him to Entenei or C. to the Prismrivers. Help me get back on track, and other ideas are fine too.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on June 04, 2011, 10:37:00 PM

Why not do all three?

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on June 05, 2011, 06:14:42 AM

I will probably do all three at some point but i need one to start out with. I know, kind of, what im going to write after i have got started again.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: King_Rule on June 05, 2011, 05:48:41 PM

Youkai Mountain

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on June 05, 2011, 06:07:50 PM

Quote from: King_Rule on June 05, 2011, 05:48:41 PM

Youkai Mountain

Seconded. Aya should have a field day with your oc.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on June 05, 2011, 06:22:34 PM

Got it! I will probably get started around Wednesday but until then, time to start thinking about how everything is going to happen

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on June 10, 2011, 11:45:50 AM

6.Heading towards the top

The spring festival passed by quickly and suddenly, everything was back to normal in the human village. Where there once had been stands there were now nothing. And I was asleep, until a certain Keine woke me up.

?Good morning.?
?Morning Keine.?

I went up and got dressed before I headed out to the room where we ate before, a while back. Keine was sitting there and drinking some tea.

?So, what are you going to do now??
?No idea, I don?t even know what kind of places there are here.?
?Try checking out one of my books.?

Just what I needed, more books.

?Don?t you have like a map, or something??
?I think I do, wait a second.?

Keine got up and started looking around. After looking for a few minutes, she found what she was looking for.

?Here you go, it might not be the newest map though.?

I opened up the map and took a look. There were apparently a lot of places here in Gensokyo. There was Youkai Mountain, Bamboo forest of the lost, Forest of magic and a lot more.

?Thanks Keine.?
?No problem.?

With map in hand I decided to get moving.

?See you some other time Keine.?
?See you too, uhm??
?Iwachi.?
?Okay, see you later Iwachi.?

As I went off, I started thinking about where to go. At first I was feeling like going to the bamboo forest but some kind of hidden force drew me towards Youkai Mountain instead. So that?s where I decided to go. There was a long way though, and I probably wouldn?t be able to get there in one day. When I decided to set up camp, there was probably about one kilometer left to the foot of the mountain. I figured I would try out my new powers some more and tried to make a shelter out of stone. It didn?t go quite as expected and what I managed to create was looking somewhat like a simple tent. It was basically two large flat stones leaning towards eachother. I crawled under them and tried to get some sleep. It was cold but I managed to draw some warmth from the ground. I started thinking about what I would encounter up there but eventually, I fell asleep.

I woke up quite early the next day. I got rid of the two stone blocks and kept on walking. After a while, there was a great mountain towering in front of me. Now there was only one problem, getting up. I had never been good at climbing so my only option was to try and find some kind of path. So I started walking to my left in search of a path, which I found, after a while. It was a small uneven dirt-path and it wasn?t the best path there is but it had to do. As I started ascending the mountain I noticed that it was really hard to get any good footing, but at least is was better than climbing.
As I went higher, the path went worse. In the end, I had to hold onto things along the sides to not fall. And as I was about to grab a tree branch I heard a voice.

?Don?t do it.?

I didn?t know what it was but I grabbed it anyways, and the result of it wasn?t that great. The branch snapped, causing me to fall backwards. Fortunally for me i wasn?t tumbling straight down, but instead into the side resulting with me crashing into yet another tree. The crash caused me to get knocked out for a while.

As I woke up and opened my eyes all I could see was light at first, but it faded away and I could see a person sitting next to me. It was yet another girl, however this one had green hair tied with a red bow under her chin and another bow on her head. She was wearing a red dress with some kind of swirl on.

?Are you okay??

Her voice felt somehow familiar, like if I had heard it somewhere else.

?Yeah, I think so.?
?You must be something special then, since a normal person would have at least a couple of scratches from that.?
?Yup, im special allright.?

I decided to stand up, since there really was no point in lying on the ground. I noticed there was holes in my robe which makes sense since it?s clothing.

?Still, I told you not to grab that branch.?
?So it was you who said that??
?Yes. I could sense that something bad was about to happen to you so I tried to stop it.?
?Well thanks anyways??
?Hina.?
?Thanks Hina.?

As I decided to keep going I heard Hina?s voice behind me.

?You wouldn?t mid telling where you?re going? And your name??
?My name is Iwachi, and I am exploring.?
?I see, you wouldn?t happen to need help with anything??
?Well, do you know how long this path keeps going??
?It?s not that far until it ends, just keep going and you will be up.?
?Thanks.?

I started walking up the path again. This time though, I found something else to grab since the branch was now broken. After a few minutes, I had managed to get to the end of the path. Suddenly, traveling would become a lot easier since there weren?t any annoying, unsafe paths now. Just a few trees, lots of stones and a river.

_____________________________________
Here's more! Since my first year in High School is over now (yay) i wil hopefully be writing a bit more now during the summer. Also, i have been thinking about writing a entry for the New Writers Contest since im a new writer, just for funsies and to get some additional feedback. Let me know what you guys think, should i do it?
Other that that, hope you enjoyed this and thanks for all of your support.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: CrowCakes on June 10, 2011, 12:13:50 PM

Lucky you, school over here starts in four days. Summer flies by real fast. If you're thinking of joining the NWC, then do it!

Also, I just noticed this now, but your compound sentences seem awfully long and a bit weird, mainly because of the conjunctions and/or your choice of component sentences.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on June 18, 2011, 10:37:42 PM

Status update: As you can see, i haven't been writing as much as i have wanted to, mainly because i haven't been feeling like writing lately, im at my dad ( which means i don't have my own room ), and the League of Legends season 1 championship stream have been eating my time lately.

But do not fear, for things are getting better. The writing spirit has been returning and the LoL stream is only for 2 more days. The next time i get to my mom i WILL be posting a new part of my great story. So be patient and don't hate me.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on June 22, 2011, 04:24:16 PM

This place was really calm. The sound of flowing water, the wind blowing, it was good until something terrible happened. I heard an explosion coming from up the river, and being the curious person I am I decided to investigate. When I got up there, there were to traces of an explosion whatsoever. But then someone jumped out of the nearby water, or at least it looked like it. I decided to go on but I didn?t get that far before I heard something go ?bzzzt? or something along those lines. I turned around and there were now someone standing there.

It was yet another woman. She had a blue dress with lots of pockets, a dark aquamarine backpack, blue boots, blue hair, a green cap and for some reason a key tied onto her chest. However, right now there were tiny jolts of lightning covering her clothing.

?Uhm, who are you? And what are you doing??
?Im Nitori Kawashiro, kappa and inventor. I was testing out my new invention, something went wrong and it exploded. So I threw myself into the river, causing all of my other equipment to malfunction.?

The kappa tried was taking all of her gadgets and gizmos out of her pockets to see which ones broke and which ones still work.

?Anyways, who are you? I haven?t seen you around here before.?
?Im Iwachi and I come from the outside.?

As soon as she heard that, there was a big smile spreading across her face.

?How did someone from the outside end up here??
?It?s a long story, let?s just say that Yukari did it.?
?I see. Anyways, I would like to hear about the outside. The only ones I know of that knows about the outside are the shrine maiden and the gods at the Moriya shrine at the top of the mountain.?
?Well, if you have a place to stay around here I could tell you.?

With that, her smile grew even bigger.

?Come with me then, I can take you to my home.?

She led me up the river for quite a bit. I could see a waterfall in the distance and some fairies flying around it. Nitori then turned to her right and led me into the not-so-thick forest surrounding the river. We walked for a little while until we came to a clearing.

?Here it is? is what Nitori said as she pointed towards a small house in the clearing. As we approached the house I could see various gizmos and things lying around, among those things cogs, wires and all kinds of mechanical components. As we got even closer I could see a half constructed vehicle poking out from behind the house.

?What is that??
?It?s just one of my many projects. You see, I invent things, useful things, things that make life easier.?

She now started digging in one of her pockets again until she managed to pull out a cylinder-like object.

?As an example, this is a, as I like to call it, ?Kappa Campfire?. You see, inside of this object, there is a heat source and as you open it, the intensity of the heat increases, causing a fire to come fourth. Fortunally, the bottom of it can?t become warm and has a button to close it.?
?I see, that?s quite an invention that you have got there.?
?Yeah, and if I can get to know more about the outside, what kind of inventions there are and such, I could possibly make even better and practical ones.?

And then, as she put her ?campfire? back down into one of her pockets, she opened her door and we went inside.

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Short update this time. I hope my "version" of Nitori seems good. After all where would we be without SCIENCE! Seriously though, i hope you all enjoy this and as always, suggestions are good, feedback is even better but you guys are the best.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on August 19, 2011, 08:01:05 PM

Hell yeah, back to writing!
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The first thing I noticed when I got inside was that things were in a mess, a well organized mess but still a mess. There were cogs, tubes, wires and various gizmos lying around in piles sorted after material and use.

?Sit down.?

Nitori was already sitting at a really short table, and she pulled a pillow from a nearby pile of various cloth items and held it towards me. I took it, put it down on the floor and sat down on it. It was a little bit uncomfortable first, but I got used to it, I also think my legs went numb after a while.

?So, tell me about the outside world. What is it like??

I told her about the outside, all of the recent inventions that I could think of, some great scientists and some other random stuff. As I told her all of this she just sat there and listened eagerly. After I told her about that she went to get some tea and something to eat on. As she came back, she held two cups of tea and a cucumber. She gave me one of the cups and then she sat down again. She was about to take a bite out of her cucumber when she stopped.

?Do you want some??
?Sure.?

She pulled out a sharp object from one of her pockets and cut the cucumber into two pieces.

?There you go.?

I took a bite out of my piece and took a sip of tea, or at least I tried to because the tea was somehow moving away whenever I tried to drink. Nitori just sat there and giggled.

?Are you having problems drinking??
?Yeah, the tea is somehow acting strange.?
?That would be because of me.?
?Huh??
?You see, im not just an inventor. I also have the power to manipulate water.?

So Nitori had an ability somewhat similar to me, but I couldn?t do fun stuff like that. I could only make stone blocks and such. Of course she is used to her powers and such so that might be why. I wonder if I will be able to do things like that someday. Well, I had done some cool things but it was only in the heat of battle and not casually like this.

Anyways, the day had turned into evening and I figured I couldn?t start climbing again now. So I decided to ask Nitori of I could stay here for the night. I took a look at my watch to see what time it is, and all of a sudden Nitori just stood up, looking straight at me.

?You have one of those time telling devices from the outside. Would you mind if I borrowed it, for a little while??
?Sure, on one condition, if I can stay here for the night.?
?Okay then.?

Nitori rushed away for a brief moment and came back with a mattress. She moved away her table and rolled out the mattress on the floor.

?You can sleep here, now give me that thing.?
?Sure, a deal is a deal.?

I took of my watch and handed it over to her. She then ran around for a while, looking for tools and then set of for a room labeled, ?Workshop?. I figured she wouldn?t be much company now so I decided to try and get some sleep and hopefully not wake up that same what as I did at Marisa?s, to a explosion.

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My god it was a while ago, but i am back on writing this. As school has started again my writing spirit has sprung back to life. And if it weren't because of the people way back when i sterted writing, i would have dumped this a while ago. Thank you all for the support i got back then and i hope my writing will satisfy all of you again. If not, please tell me it's crap to i can get working on making it better. :P

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on August 24, 2011, 06:51:22 PM

The night passed quite well, quiet and calm. As I woke up, I saw what I think was my watch, lying on the nearby table. However, its appearance was extremely different. As I crawled closer to this tiny mechanized monstrosity, I heard a voice come from it.

?Good morning! It?s me, Nitori. I took the liberty of altering your time telling device.?

Unsure of what to reply and if she would be able to hear the answer, I grabbed it and said.

?I have noticed that. May I ask why??
 ?I thought it needed an upgrade.?

I took a look at the watch again. There were loads of buttons jammed onto the sides of it.

?An upgrade? As in one upgrade??
?Well, it started with one but the ideas came and I just went on. If you think this is annoying there is a mute button??

I had been pressing buttons at random since I picked it up, and I managed to hit the right one. Nitori then game running out of her workshop and she stood in front of me.

?Hey, why did you do that??
?Wasn?t there a reason for installing it??

She went quiet for a while but then she realized that im still a guest and that she wanted to act kind to humans.

?Would you like something to eat??
?No thanks, im actually not feeling hungry.?
?Okay then, are you gonna climb further today??
?Yes, and hopefully I will see some cool stuff on the way.?
?Then let me help you, I could guide you to the Tengu Village.?
?That?s a nice offer, sure.?
?Let?s get going then!?

For some reason, Nitori seemed a bit more energetic now that she was going to help me. As we went outside, there were a lot of fairies flying around, looking curiously at all the things Nitori had at her house, and then they saw us.

?Hello Nitori! What are you up to today? Any new inventions??
?No new inventions today, im just going to escort this person to the Tengu Village.?
?Okay.?

The fairies then kept on flying around Nitori?s house, trying to catch a glimpse of that was inside, until one of the fairies thought of something. She flew over to some other fairies and they started talking while looking at me. Then they flew and told the rest of the fairies what they had discussed. They all stopped and looked at me. One of the fairies flew forward.

?Excuse me.?

The fairy was now pointing at me.

?You wouldn?t happen to be the person who fought Cirno??
?Uhm, yes it?s me.?

All of the fairies now froze in shock, but then they all started saying things to eachother again.

?It?s him??
?I knew it all along??
?I could tell by looking at him that he cheated??

Nitori grew more and more confused.

?Uhm, what has happened??

The fairies then started yelling their answers straight out.

?Cirno challenged him t a fair duel but he totally cheated!?
?Yeah, totally!?
?And if we take you down, she can be happy again!?

While all of this was going on, I just stood there. Did Cirno really know all these fairies, or was it just a coincidence that I happened to run into those that she knew?

?Let?s take him down while we still have the upper hand!?
?The fairies shall triumph!?

And then, all off the fairies were getting ready to attack.

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Short update is somewhat short but im trying to get back into writing again. Hope this tickles your fancy and as always, feedback is appreciated!

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: XephyrEnigma on August 24, 2011, 09:28:54 PM

Pffft, that ending. Nameless fairies trying to avenge their friend. :V

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on September 20, 2011, 05:17:29 PM

?Wait what, what?s going on??

?I don?t have time to explain right now? Look out!?

I pushed Nitori aside so that she wouldn?t get hit by the projectiles that the fairies were now shooting at me. They didn?t seem to care that much about her right now, they were after me and they would try to get me, whatever it took. Anyways, the orb that I intercepted for Nitori threw be back quite a bit, no real damage done. It took a while for them to notice that I wasn?t where they thought I was, so they all started to look around for me. However, there wasn?t really anywhere for me to hide so I got seen quite soon afterwards. It was time to start fighting back.

I started conjuring up some rocks to fire at them, but before I had the chance to fire I had to dodge to the side, thus interrupting my concentration and the rocks turned to dust. I tried again, quickly creating some rocks and firing them at the nearest fairies. I managed to hit one, perhaps two of them. They quickly counterattacked, forcing me to run. Then didn?t want to let me go so then started chasing me, which obviously wasn?t good for me since they could fly. It didn?t take long before they had me surrounded.

?We have got you now.?

?Any last wish before we end you??

As they were just standing around me acting all cocky I couldn?t help to notice that Nitori was missing, I then felt a slight vibration around my wrist. It turns out that Nitori had installed some kind of ?alarm? onto my watch.

?As a matter of fact, I do have a wish. If you could just let me check what time it is, that would be wonderful.?

?Yeah sure, whatever.?

I looked down at my watch, but I couldn?t see what time it was or anything of the sort. The only thing I could see was a message where it said ?Please Un-mute me?. I did precisely that and then I heard a faint and silent voice saying, ?push the leftmost button?. I did that and something fantastic happened.
As I stood there, all of the fairies panicked. They started looking around aimlessly while muttering phrases like ?where did he go? and ?it?s not possible?. What they didn?t know is that I was standing at the same spot as I was standing before, the watch had just turned me invisible.

 I took a chance and made a dash away from the fairies. It went well until I heard yet another faint voice, however this one just said ?warning, power supply running low?. I had an idea of what it meant and if I was right, things could get bad yet again.
As the voice just died away, so did my status of invisibility. The moment I got visible again, at least ten of the fairies noticed me. They notified their fellows and then charged towards me again. This time however, I heard a familiar voice behind me. The fairies didn?t notice that but they kept flying towards me, getting ready to attack.

?Water Sign: Kappa?s Pororoca?.

Nitori walked up to me. The fairies now realized that was happening, but they didn?t have time to react. Massive amounts of water was now heading towards them.

?Fairies, run!?

Most of them were a bit too slow and got hit. The fairies who were hit were now splashing in the water, struggling to swim away. As the water finally went away, the fairies were exhausted and as soon as they managed to stand up, they cursed us and flew away. Nitori then turned to me.

?Wow, you are really bad at fighting. How are you going to survive here??

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Yeah, time to throw another update into the story. I haven't been feeling like writing lately. I will try to get back to it a bit more in the future, hopefully soon. Anyways, as always, i feed on your feedback and if im terrible, just tell me. The same with the opposite.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Molten on July 08, 2012, 08:12:37 PM

Alright, this has been quite some time. The reason if this post is to inform about the state of my fanfic.

First of all, i would like to thank you guys who actually read and followed this, while i was actively writing. You guys were/are the greatest reason why i continued to write to this point. Secondly, I'm not gonna continue on this story in this form. I have an idea on how to improve this story as a whole, and i will do it in another thread when i feel like writing again. I will try to start writing again around the start of school this August. i have been thinking actively about how to continue the story even though i don't feel like writing. (I think about random things quite often)

About the idea, I'm thinking of:
Actually proofreading what i write. To be honest, i feel like this version of the story is close to crap, so this is a step towards quality.
And the big one, I'm gonna rewrite the entire story and it's continuation from the perspective of the people my OC meet.

Tell me what you guys think and then I'll take it to heart when i start writing again. Until then, this has been a message from Molten, have a continued great summer and I'll hopefully be back writing somewhat soon.

Title: Re: Caught between a Rock and a Boundary
Post by: Nihilanth on July 10, 2012, 12:48:11 AM

Sorry if this seems quite late, I recently joined and happened to see your story around . .

Anyway, I think this story is quite good and has a lot of potential. Sure you might have some errors regarding punctuation's, but the overall content is quite interesting, it does draw people to read more of your work.

I know you have school around this time, and I suggest you focus on your grades, but also take some time to practice writing and try to continue the story, don't feel too rushed to jump back into it and give yourself some time to think about the plot and how to make more surprises in your scenes. Also I like the use of your style to create "cliffhangers", it helps a lot. Lastly, the action scenes are quite good too, though I think if you read up a bit more on more action scenes you could make it better!  :)

So far this is all I can say, also try to get a nice book from your bookstore, it helps to improve writing a lot! Just keep on writing and you'll get there, I look further to seeing your story a lot more!

Take care!  :3