Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Beyond the Border~ => Daiyousei's Cold Storage => Topic started by: Tengukami on October 31, 2010, 10:43:50 PM

Title: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Tengukami on October 31, 2010, 10:43:50 PM
(By request of Matsy, moving this from the Rage Thread to its own home.)

ITT: Sports commentators give spell card play-by-plays.

(http://i56.tinypic.com/ekm9gl.jpg)

"Alright, now, Emboldening of Scarlet Demon is an action-packed game to start with, but when you're up against this baby here, a lot of rookies freeze up and get sacked. You don't have a hitbox here, right? So you have to keep it steady because look, here, here, and especially here, you can run into some problems and BAM - you're done, game over. The best thing this player can do right now is stay in this column here, bob and weave, stay focused, and he should be able to make it to the end zone. Bob?"
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Janitor Morgan on October 31, 2010, 10:47:42 PM
(Also moving the response to the above here by Matsuri's request.)

"That's true, John, but there are times when you need speed, like with this baby here."

(http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/1613/bobcostas.jpg)

"See, with this, you get attacked from this direction, and they don't stop coming. What you gotta do is move quickly, and know that you've got a bit of wiggle room. A lot of rookies think that they have to give it a wide berth, and then they get cornered and sacked. Once you know you can squeeze by, it gets easier to run for a touchdown. Back to you, John."
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Myschi on October 31, 2010, 11:07:01 PM
I love both of you so much right now.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Marin The Magus on October 31, 2010, 11:10:38 PM
Would you two marry me? pleeeeease? xD xD xD
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Tengukami on October 31, 2010, 11:35:46 PM
(http://i56.tinypic.com/2r6imw0.jpg)

"Thanks, Bob. Alright, now over here we got Double Spoilers, and this is gonna put offense on the offensive. Unlike your regular plays, what the player has to do is get close to the opposing team. And look at her - she looks pretty mean! Now, defense is going to come at you with these falling shape thingies and it looks pretty tough, because up here, look - it's all packed together! There's no hole for the offense, and that normally spells bad news BUT, whoosh, down here? Wide open spaces. Offense can stay alive if it hangs back and relies on long forward passing and ZOOM, touchdown."
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Ryuu on October 31, 2010, 11:38:46 PM
ilu so much
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: communist unity (comm-unity) on November 01, 2010, 12:05:41 AM
(http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7081/stouhou.th.jpg) (http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7081/stouhou.jpg)

I have made a terrible thing.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Hanged Hourai on November 01, 2010, 12:23:37 AM
Speechless.
Just speechless.
In a good way of course.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Aba Matindesu! on November 01, 2010, 12:53:15 AM
This is made of pure awesome...

Really.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Schezo on November 01, 2010, 01:06:31 AM
Quote from: Hanged Hourai on November 01, 2010, 12:23:37 AM
Speechless.
Just speechless.
In a good way of course.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Chronojet ⚙ Dragon on November 01, 2010, 01:11:20 AM
Quote from: Schezo on November 01, 2010, 01:06:31 AM
Quote from: KounRyuSui on November 01, 2010, 12:53:15 AM
This is made of pure awesome...

Really.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Aba Matindesu! on November 01, 2010, 01:47:26 AM
Someone, anyone, please do Gengetsu Raep Tiem.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Reddyne on November 01, 2010, 02:02:52 AM
Where are my X and O danmaku?

Also, whoever is on the jewel case for Touhou 13 will have a sub-par season for the first six weeks and then tear an ACL. For the rest of the year, her team won't live up to expectations.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: ?q on November 01, 2010, 02:06:41 AM
Quote from: Reddyne on November 01, 2010, 02:02:52 AM
Where are my X and O danmaku?
In Tsukiko's second post.
I don't think both the Xs and Os should all be moving down though.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: ♛ Apher-Forte on November 01, 2010, 02:11:38 AM
I totally wish to subscribe to your sports channel.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Reddyne on November 01, 2010, 02:31:59 AM
Quote from: u? on November 01, 2010, 02:06:41 AM
In Tsukiko's second post.
I don't think both the Xs and Os should all be moving down though.
That's just the thing. Individual X and O bullets that can run a post pattern while the other blitzes.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Hello Purvis on November 01, 2010, 02:50:13 AM
Wow. Something good came of the Rage thread.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Cadmas on November 01, 2010, 03:03:24 AM
Quote from: cranialCrustacean on November 01, 2010, 12:05:41 AM
(http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7081/stouhou.th.jpg) (http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7081/stouhou.jpg)

I have made a terrible thing.

The 3DO XD
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Janitor Morgan on November 01, 2010, 05:12:47 PM
Quote from: cranialCrustacean on November 01, 2010, 12:05:41 AM
(http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7081/stouhou.th.jpg) (http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7081/stouhou.jpg)

I have made a terrible thing.

FUND IT

---

(http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/1914/bobcostas2.jpg)

"And here we've got Perfect Cherry Bomb'em, which is appropriately named if you look at how much stuff is flying everywhere -- it's like an explosion. This particular play, John, I consider to be unfair -- look at how many extra players are there! And they throw all sorts of junk outward, so there's no clear path to the end zone. You gotta weave through the gaps, and if you look here, the gaps can be too close for comfort, and you can still make it through. Just keep pushing through the enemy line, and go for the goal."
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Helepolis on November 01, 2010, 05:55:38 PM
This thread is approved for Charisma. Someone needs to make a movie out of this with narration in THAT style.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Alice★f on November 01, 2010, 06:05:19 PM
Mmmmm...

In the mood to play Touhou again.
Need to repay a visit to Koishi. Never beat her.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: JEV3 on November 01, 2010, 06:09:46 PM
Sweet, let me know when this is up on youtube. :3
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Tengukami on November 01, 2010, 06:22:41 PM
(Did somebody say "charisma"?)

(http://i56.tinypic.com/15575e0.png)

"Now, a few seasons back you may remember this contender, Remilia Scarlets. A total unknown in the business, she played great defense in Season 6. Well, she's in this to win this, Al. She came back just two seasons later to play offense! Now, a lotta people think Season 8 was a little weak, and defense was poor, but in this highlight here you see it wasn't always a walk in the park. This ... bunny girl here, she comes at ya with the rope-a-dope, bobbin' and weavin' so fast it's hard to even keep up. But Scarlet here held her own against this and wasn't fooled by the fancy footwork, Al. Any seasoned player will tell you that going against this play is all about staying in mid-field. I think we'll be seeing more of this firecracker. I don't think she's ready to hang up her jersey yet."
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: IBakaChan on November 01, 2010, 06:46:56 PM
; u;
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Alice★f on November 01, 2010, 06:51:22 PM
That was...

...perfect.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Thata no Guykoro on November 01, 2010, 07:22:08 PM
This thread is beautiful.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Teewee on November 01, 2010, 07:34:59 PM
This is pretty cool :)
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Tengukami on November 01, 2010, 07:37:49 PM
Y'all are free to jump in with your owns, too!
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Myschi on November 01, 2010, 07:40:32 PM
Quote from: Thatsonnn Dedeguy on November 01, 2010, 07:22:08 PM
This thread is beautiful.
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: IBakaChan on November 01, 2010, 07:48:52 PM
(http://i54.tinypic.com/2lljd3t.png)
"And now to our evening special, for the Rookie Players!"

"Welcome! We'll go straight to the point! Cirno, or "Nine" as she's called by the fanatics, is one of the rookies of the sixth season. And in seventh, she slipped down and was benched through out most of the other seasons too. This here shows exactly how the rookie defenders aren't supposed to do. She's shooting out to the left and right, taking a good start, but then closing up to leave a blank spot right before herself! And that ain't good! Because this here Marisa is one helluva charger! Going right in for the kill by going aggresive for the start... Let this be a reminder to y'all aspiring pros'. Don't be a Nine!"
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on November 01, 2010, 10:32:55 PM
(http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm114/Roukanken/sho.png)

"Alright, so here we are looking at some fresh talent straight out of season 12. This here is Shoto Ramaru, one of the defenders every coach seems to be hailing as the next big thing. Really, though, her whole gameplan runs on one big gimmick - the lasers start here and here, but then BAM! Suddenly they're curving in and you've got a poor shrine maiden sitting on 4th and 20 with no idea what the hell's going on.

Coaches are gonna be giving their teams special training to deal with this one, Bob. Girl's good at faking out chargers, but when it comes down to it she leaves herself wide open. See this right here? Big, BIG mistake. This strategy's gonna do her good for a few months, maybe, but I don't see her staying up in the top ranks when season 13 comes around."

(This is what happens when a non-American who knows nothing about American football tries this.)
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Momiji on November 01, 2010, 10:42:32 PM
4rd?  Is that like a car or something?


4th and 20 would be more like it
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on November 01, 2010, 10:52:59 PM
Quote from: Momiji on November 01, 2010, 10:42:32 PM
4th and 20 would be more like it
The 20, I will explain as not remembering whether it was 10 or 20 and not having the patience to look.

The 4rd, I will explain as 'I initially wrote 3rd and forgot to change it because I'm tired okay ;.;'
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Momiji on November 02, 2010, 12:02:47 AM
4th means 4th down, your fourth chance to move the ball 10 yards since your last 1st down (which'll reset back to 1 if you make it), but if you don't make it the opposing team immediately gets the ball where it lies, so you usually punt (kick) the ball towards your opponent's endzone (scoring area) and they get the ball (farther away though).  20 means the amount of yards you need to go to make that 1st down.  So yeah, 4th and 20 basically means you're screwed and you gotta punt the ball, unless your offense is hugely gutsy.

WE MUST PROTECT THIS MOUNTAIN!!
Title: Re: Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?
Post by: Tengukami on November 02, 2010, 11:31:35 AM
(http://i52.tinypic.com/2ekq1l3.jpg)

"Season 12 was definitely pretty brutal on offense, John, no doubt about it, but at least the refs decided to throw in some assists. Let's take a look at Reimu in Season 6 playing as offensive guard. Like you brought up before, offense back then had no equipment, leaving a player vulnerable to all kinds of sacks. Who can forget this famous defensive play? Holy moly. All that razzle-dazzle and no hitbox to give offense a toehold on field. Season 6 was rough, especially in the second half, John, and I'm still amazed offense was able to pull it off."