Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Beyond the Border~ => Daiyousei's Cold Storage => Topic started by: Menorah Jams, Pham on October 02, 2009, 01:58:44 PM
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Wheedliewheedliewheedliewheedliewheereeeew
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Okay, welcome to Wayne's World! Good evening, Aurora Illinois! I'm your excellent host Wayne Campbell and with me as always is Garth Algar. Party on, Garth!
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Party on, Wayne.
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Thanks Garth, we have a most EXCELLENT show for you tonight. Later on we've got the awesome Slaves whose art makes us feel all funny inside.
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SCHWIIIING!
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You could see her underwear in that one. Hee hee!
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Garth, whoa, you're becoming a man before our eyes. I'd like to break down her Great Wall. Rrrrawrrrr.
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I'd like to open trade with her thanks to the efforts of my Dick Nixon.
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Schwing!
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Schaaa-wing!
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OK seriously, let's bring in our first guest. Fresh from supervising bank IT types, it's Professional Anime Character!
PROFESSIONAL ANIME CHARACTER! PROFESSIONAL ANIME CHARACTER! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT! Wheedliewheedliewheedliewheedliewheereeeeweeee!
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ROCK ON
This is a totally excellent thread you dudes got here.
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I just wanna give a shoutout to my man Kilga and my bro Mint. They is like, rockin' that Touhou hard.
Also wanna give a holla to Jesus, my lead on the big stage. He's totally rad man, he like scored me this excellent weed one time and we like.... smoked it all in an hour man.
So Garth and Wayne... let's kick this bitch and get it started!
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Awesome, welcome to Wayne's World! So Professional Anime Character, please do tell us: what is it like to be a professional anime character?
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Yeah, do you get to characterize the anime profession?
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Garth, mellow out, dude. Happy place.
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Hee hee, happy place.
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Dude... it's awesome. It's like being on a trip to "The Dark Side of the Moon" but all the time. The colors are all totally rad and I'm like... colorful and junk.
And the babes? SCHWIIIING!
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Heyyyyy it's my man Purvis. He's like... a doctor and a captain... at the same time dude!
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(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) Very much so. And I see you gentlemen are doing well.
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Uh oh, Dr. Purvis is here with his most creepy smile and his advice! Here to update Garth's Ritalin prescription, Dr. Purvis?
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Yeah, doc, you gotta do something. I'm sitting in school, right? And then I'm drumming out some Anthrax, and my teacher says to me "Garth what's the inverse quotient of X here?" Then I was all "Whoa man, you don't gotta hassle me like this!" Then he was all "WHOOOOOOAAA!" and I was all "WHOOOOOOAA!"
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Garth, chill, take your Ritalin. You're in a hot tub, you're in your happy place.
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Happy place, hot tub, hee...
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You're in a hot tub with Heather Locklear. You're very warm.
So, Dr. Purvis, what health concerns should the good people of the greater Chicagoland area be on the lookout for this week?
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Ooookay, that was a most excellent 20 minutes of silence in response to a question, doc. NOT!
Anyway, Professional Anime Character, if you had to see one set of characters from an anime perform as a metal band, who would they be and what instruments would they play?
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I'd totally have Master Asia as the lead guitarist. The man is like crazy good with his hands and junk.
Lead singer would totally be Goku. He like screams hardcore. Bass I'd have Fate Testarossa. The chick wears black and has a scythe! How metal is that, dude?!
And drummers I'd have none other than the man himself, Liono of the Thundercats.
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This is a quality thread.
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Wayne is slow with interviews
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Wayne is like... totally on a commercial break right now man.
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A long commercial brake, he is losing his fans.
Unless his commercial brakes are entertaining, ofcourse.
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Shall I bring Kilga in to beat people up? That was a good commercial break.
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Viewership has totally picked up, excellent. PAC, if Master Asia and Joe Perry got into a shred guitar fight, who do you think would win?
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I dunno man... Master Asia is like... totally the Undefeated of the East or something.
If he lost... man it'd be like if Jesus made a burrito he couldn't munch on.
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Exqueese me? Bakinpowder? No Joe Perry? Denied! A travesty indeed, a fail of epic metal proportions!
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The fail is so epicly metal that you could build a submarine out of it.
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It's so epic that it makes GIRUGAMESH look like Dick and Jane!
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It's so fail that it makes an F look like the top of the curve!
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Okay, PAC, you have most non-bodaciously declared that Master Asia would defeat half of Aerosmith. I think that means we have time for one more question: asphinctersezwhat?
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Huh?
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Asphinctersezwhat?
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who?
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hmm?
I don't think that works in text...
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All right, erudition as always, thanks for coming on the show!
We have to take a quick commercial break, but UncertainKitten is going to be on next promoting her newest line of most excellent invented products, and stick around for Slaves. We'll be right back!
COMMERCIAL BREAK! COMMERCIAL BREAK! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT! Squeedliewheedliewheedliewheeeeerreeeaw!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/19046/bassomatic
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What invented products? I'm about to leave actually. In about 20 minutes.
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Okay and we're back. That was a most excellent commercial. I found it interesting how he added the bass to the blender.
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You know what part I liked the most? His moustache. It was, like, kinda Rob Halford before he came out of the closet, y'know?
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Out of the closet? Garth, are you mental? Rob Halford is as straight as straight gets. Anyway, let's bring on our next guest, showcasing her latest line of designer spatulas for adult novelty stores, the always babelicious UncertainKitten!
UNCERTAINKITTEN! UNCERTAINKITTEN! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT! Wheedliewheedliewheedlieweeereeeeyeeeow!
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Apo's thread was better
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This thread is the greatest thing you have ever done, MJP. I salute you~
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Umu...y-yes well...hi there. U-umu...these toys a-are rather neat in that umu...they have designs and textures on them that u-umu...are rather fun when they get used in the proper u-umu...manner...and...
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I will forever be haunted by the idea of a cheese violin.
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Wayne's World pretty much saved SNL from completely and totally sucking in the early 90s, so I approve of this thread most heartily.
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I am most impressed by the inclusion of the Cubs logo on this. How hard was it to convince Major League Baseball to allow their logo to be displayed on a rigid pink rubber spatula with what appears to be bumps on the flat end?
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Yeah, how do you flip the pancakes with that thing?
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Umu...it's not for pancakes...it's for...umu...should...is it ok to show you?
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Why, I think that Garth would be most happy to be your volunteer, wouldn't you, Garth?
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Um, okay, sure, but j-just try not to put me in the hospital, kaay?
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Oh...I meant...I show you with me...but yes, I need...umu...yes...I do need someone to help.
/me hands the toy to Garth
Umu...is this really ok?
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Garth, just remember, you're the center and she's the goalie, okay? You are the center, she is the goalie.
Get-A-Load-Of-This-Awkwardness-Cam
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Um, um, um, um, okay, you are the goalie.
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Umu...well...we don't need to do a full demonstration...umu...
/me presses down her skirt making her sex apparent.
Just...umu...just...um...push that button on the side and umu...
/me blushes
Umu...just...place it right near there
/me points to the obvious target
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Umm... uh... Waaaayne?
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Very well done, Garth, I must say it was most excellent how you not only prevented us from getting thrown off public access, but how you and UK are perhaps the two most timid people I have ever met.
UK, any more excellent words about your rather specialized goods and, ahem, services?
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Well played.
No, not really
/me cackles as she walks off the set.
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Okay, UncertainKitten's new Garth Trauma line of implements is available at Aurora Pleasure Palace and fine grocery stores near you!
EXTREME CLOSE-UP!
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHH!
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UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHH!
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UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
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Excellent extreme-close-up!
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Excellent!
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How about it, folks? Do we have Slaves ready or is his limo stuck in traffic? Arnie?
(http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/pt/images/thumb/1/10/Arnie_pie.jpg/214px-Arnie_pie.jpg)Wayne, it's a complete and total cock-up out here! Someone took my helicopter and radio and handed me this shoe!
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Ouch, most gnarly turn of events indeed. Garth, I do believe it is about that time we open up the lines for our callers![/img]
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You mean where we can give advice to any random Joe from the street with a phone?
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Exactly! So just yell into your phone and we'll pick up.
CALL-IN ADVICE! CALL-IN ADVICE! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT! Reewreerweerewreeweeedreeeereeee
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Caller, you're on the air, who are you and where are you from?
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Hi, I'm Sanasanasan and I'm from Canada! It's awesome here! I love your show!
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Get off the connection Sanasanasan.
Can I have Garth promote my restaurant Pako Bell?
/me uses cute face
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Hi, I'm Sanasanasan and I'm from Canada! It's awesome here! I love your show!
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Canada? Wow, I had no idea a Chicago suburb's local public access cable station carried to our neighbor to the north. Did you, Garth?
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Actually, I set up a rebroadcast transmitter out of the back of the Mirthmobile that uses the low-quality steel frame as a multiplexer. Wayne's World can now be seen as far as Alma-Ata.
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We like very much American gay men talk show! It showcase plight of plaid wearers for many weeks, you have much great fans in Kazakhstan!
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So Sanasanasan, what's your question?
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So what do you guys do when you're not on the show?
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An excellent question if I do say so myself, but I would rephrase it into "WHO do you do?" Schwing!
No, okay, we enjoy the fine sport of street hockey, hanging out at most excellent metal clubs, and of course babes. We are often found at Stan Makita's most excellent donuts and practicing with the band. For one day, we shall be performing live. I personally also most excellently enjoy going to work at my jobs at Burger Hut, Sandwich Shack, or Pizza Crater. NOT!
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My hobbies include street hockey, metal clubs, babes, donuts, and contraptionating.
Next caller please!
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Bad Garth! I believe I am the one who gets to ask for the next caller please.
Next caller please?
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Hello, Moerin here from Scotland~
Long time viewer, first time caller. How are you guys~?
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I do believe we are feeling most excellent tonight, thank you for asking. Garth, can you confirm that the feeling level is holding steady at "most excellent?"
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Status of "most excellent" is confirmed and well en route to "bodacious!"
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Excellent. We have time for you and one more caller, Moerin, so what can we for you do in your murky, moory highlands?
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Good to hear~
People keep treating my babealicious girlfriend like she doesn't exist. Is there anything I can do about this?
Also, have you guys ever met Wyld Stallyns? If so, what are they really like?
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First off, we cannot verify if your girlfriend is as babelicious as you claim, so we cannot deliver the schwing she would deserve if she indeed was so babelicious.
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If she was a species, she'd be Babeicus unknowntous.
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She's a Babera Obscura.
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We have been schwing-denied.
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In any case, I should say that people should keep their hands off your babe at all costs. If they aren't paying due respect, might I recommend she learn some fine video games such as Halo 3 or Dynasty Warriors? Surely this development would bring attention to her.
And if by Wyld Stallyns you mean those post-Van Halen posers in California? No, we haven't met them, but we liked them better when they weren't around at all. Next caller!
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Hi there I am Pako from Holland, how is it going with you?
Do you like tacos?
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Pako from Holland, thank you for calling, we're having a wonderful day.
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We'll take up the time, to make up this rhyme, for tacos are great in every way.
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All right, that's all the time we have for tonight, until next time, party on, Garth.
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Party on, Wayne!
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IT'S WAYNE'S WORLD, WAYNE'S WORLD, PARTY TIME, EXCELLENT!
REEDLEYWHEEDLEYWHEEDLEYWHEEEEEE!