Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Beyond the Border~ => Akyu's Arcade => Topic started by: FinnKaenbyou on January 16, 2012, 08:33:52 PM

Title: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 16, 2012, 08:33:52 PM
Hello, folks. It's LP time again, but this time we're not playing RPGs. We're playing VNs!

As a safety precaution, though, I'm hosting this LP off-site on LiveJournal. I'll update the links here whenever I update.

Enjoy!

Contents:
16/01 - Part 1: The Melancholy of Joe Biden (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/3815.html)
16/01 - Part 2: Yes We Can't! (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/4005.html)
17/01 - Part 3: From Rusia With Love (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/4227.html)
18/01 - Part 4: The Butler Maid Did It (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/4572.html)
21/01 - Part 5: War of the Words (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/4827.html)
22/01 - Part 6: No Spaceship Loli Left Behind (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/5012.html)
23/01 - Part 7: OK Qoo Now You're Just Screwing With Me (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/5207.html)
26/01 - Part 8: The Return of James Hondo (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/5457.html)
31/01 - Part 9: Emergency Hot Blood Injection (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/5793.html)
1/02 - Part 10: An Offer Jun Can't Refuse (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/6107.html)
5/02 - Part 11: juDon't Touch Me There! (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/6308.html)
8/02 - Part 12: Slap on the Wrist (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/6450.html)
13/02 - Part 13: The Nipponese Missile Crisis (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/6880.html)
20/02 - Part 14: It's Technically Not A Date (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/7043.html)
21/02 - Part 15: Who You Are In The Dark (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/7271.html)
26/02 - Part 16: No Longer Alone! (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/7488.html)
9/03 - Part 17: New Year's Heave (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/7815.html)
19/03 - Part 18: Fruit Is Ruined For Me Forever (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/8111.html)
20/03 - Part 19: The Not-So-Scarlet Sisters (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/8378.html)
20/03 - Part 20: Zero Percent Approval (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/8527.html)
21/03 - Epilogue: Standing Down From Office (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/8884.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Janitor Morgan on January 16, 2012, 08:36:38 PM
MY NEIGHBOUR IS A HOUSE

The concept is sort of hilarious so far. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Sapz on January 16, 2012, 08:38:44 PM
Oh God, this sounds ridiculous. :V I vote for the first option!
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tengukami on January 16, 2012, 08:41:41 PM
Seconding first choice!

My god, this is hilarious. Well done, Rou!
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on January 16, 2012, 08:44:32 PM
Oh yay, more LP fun!

Quote
A tragic case of EP, or Eroge Protagonistitis.
:teaspit:
Should've seen it coming, but I was really not expecting that acronym to be used in that manner. :V

Quote
MY NEIGHBOUR IS A HOUSE
...
AND [THE TENGU] PROBABLY WROTE A GREAT ARTICLE ABOUT HOW SHE DID IT TOO AND GET THOSE CUFFS AWAY FROM ME OFFICER
I simply lost it there. :getdown:

Oh, and go for Option 1, that should seal it.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: lumber_of_the_beast on January 16, 2012, 08:51:34 PM
Option t-

Warning - while you were reading a new reply has been posted. You may wish to review your post.

god fucking damn it
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on January 16, 2012, 08:53:27 PM
Already said it on IRC, but: I love your style, Rou.
You had me at MY  NEIGHBOUR IS A HOUSE.

And yeah, option 1, like a typical gamer :V
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Iced Fairy on January 16, 2012, 09:00:19 PM
I'm not sure what I can add.  You stole all the great Tengu jokes, so I must simply vote for option one.

So far the snide commentary has been more impressive then the game itself.  Good work.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tamer Anode/Cathode on January 16, 2012, 10:24:03 PM
I vote for option 2 to see if/how it makes fun of us.

Also, absolutely lost it at the YOU WA SHOCK gun. Keep up the commentary, this is something you're incredible at.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Stuffman on January 16, 2012, 10:52:40 PM
This game is so meta it hurts D:
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 16, 2012, 11:10:10 PM
Part 2: Yes We Can't! (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/4005.html)

Post update note:
I am totally going for Putin route, and NOTHING ANY OF YOU SAY IS GOING TO STOP ME.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: lumber_of_the_beast on January 16, 2012, 11:28:37 PM
I VOTE FOR WHICHEVER ONE RESULTS IN FUCKING MOKOU
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tengukami on January 16, 2012, 11:35:57 PM
"YES WE CUM" ought to cinch the re-election, I think.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on January 16, 2012, 11:41:27 PM
I lost it at the Cthulu cameo, and will say !dice or !rtd for the decision.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: pineyappled on January 16, 2012, 11:42:30 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYrjHoI2iUs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYrjHoI2iUs)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Suikama on January 16, 2012, 11:50:36 PM
Quote
Also, Ran has put some clothes on. Thank God.
dammit no rou this is the opposite of what should be happeni*shot*
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tengukami on January 17, 2012, 12:19:39 AM
Also, my vote is with the small-bottomed girl.

As always.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: PX on January 17, 2012, 12:26:14 AM
This is hilarious, and I vote the small bottomed girl as well
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: yuyukos on January 17, 2012, 12:38:23 AM
"Perky, Voluptuous Girl" or bust. All puns intended  :V.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on January 17, 2012, 01:21:19 AM
ahahahaha this is awesome.

And hang on, which girl is which? I only see one girl before us! ???
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on January 17, 2012, 02:25:24 AM
ayayayayaya

"Small-bottomed" is the highest compliment a man could ever offer a woman.
Go.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tamashii Kanjou on January 17, 2012, 05:59:01 AM
I'm not sure which one to vote on...

But can I just say, Cuthulu as a loli?!?! I'm not even sure what to say anymore! XD
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 17, 2012, 07:16:51 AM
Well, I see three votes for small-bottomed, so next update will now officially discuss DAT LACK OF AN ASS.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tengukami on January 17, 2012, 07:26:11 AM
Small-bottomed girls, you make the not-so-rockin' world go 'round.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: qno2 on January 17, 2012, 05:01:18 PM
Quote from: Roukanken
NOOOOOOOOO YOU WOULD HAVE SURVIVED IF YOU HADN'T TRIPPED THAT DEATH FLAG

GOAT-KUUUUUUNNNNN NOOOOOO you had so much to live for!

Great commentary so far.

Qoo's name is screwing with my head and my display name. First I misread her name for Qno *, "wait WHAT?! Oh alright", now I misread my display name for Qoo.
With those emerging identity issues I realize that I never thought about being a loli alien eldritch horror doctor bondage fetishist hero-that-saves-the-world-to-destroy-it in my future career, maybe I should think again. And people say that eroges are the opposite of success in society, tsk.


*Stuff nobody wants to know, you have been warned: the "2" is just an added bonus 'cause most sites require four letters so I'm just dragging it with me out of habit
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 17, 2012, 08:01:54 PM
Part 3: From Rusia With Love (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/4227.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Suikama on January 17, 2012, 08:20:32 PM
He would go straight to the harem route of course
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: PX on January 17, 2012, 09:21:55 PM
Putin route gogogo
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tamashii Kanjou on January 17, 2012, 09:26:05 PM
Answer at this point in time: MOKOU Putina's Route!

Answer from an outsider: ...
(http://i42.tinypic.com/drf5ee.jpg)
What? Do I even need to say anything?
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Kasu on January 18, 2012, 02:03:55 AM
Dammit Rou.  Stop making me laugh so hard. :3
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on January 18, 2012, 02:27:11 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/uJd1J.jpg)

1. Save image.
2. Send to dustyjo.
3. ???
4. Profit.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tengukami on January 18, 2012, 02:35:18 AM
Play them against each other until Hugonetta Chavez arrives, then leave them both and enjoy a life of luxury and mountains of cocaine in Venezuela.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: yuyukos on January 18, 2012, 03:36:04 AM
Quote from: Rou
Yeah, about that. I have a fetish for hair that follows the natural laws of physics, so you're sorta boned.
And I lost it. Mokou route is best route.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 18, 2012, 04:37:14 PM
Part 4: The Butler Maid Did It (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/4572.html)

On a side note, the Maid Police joke from last update stuck in my head and produced this. (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,11812.0.html) I regret nothing.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: PX on January 18, 2012, 05:44:07 PM
Please say Mahjong
please say mahjong
please say mahjong
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tamashii Kanjou on January 18, 2012, 07:00:46 PM
[Nope, nothing to see here.]

We regret to inform you that this statement was a blatant lie~ <3
Give us the tasty... stuff!
Also, punch Cuthulu while you're at it.  :3

I'm enjoying this so much.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Palewolf on January 19, 2012, 04:58:06 PM
Haha this made my day, go Mokou Irina!
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Garlyle on January 19, 2012, 05:08:39 PM
Man, the girls in this are so... I dunno, is there a route for Morita?  8D

But okay, Mokou Putin Irina Mokou seems like the best option.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on January 19, 2012, 08:36:46 PM
Quote
I wonder what her eyes look like when she BSODs.
(http://i.imgur.com/CBKmB.png)(http://i.imgur.com/NpMtB.png)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Vyrien on January 19, 2012, 09:08:12 PM
So glad I read this, fucking hilarious.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 21, 2012, 12:36:46 PM
Part 5: War of the Words (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/4827.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on January 21, 2012, 10:32:15 PM
Quote
I'm relatively sure the CIA doesn't include this in their list of interrogation techniques.

(They totally should, though.)
XD

I really lost it at the "swimsuit" part, though.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Amraphenson on January 22, 2012, 12:26:15 AM
gdi I want my pay per view money back
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: N-Forza on January 22, 2012, 01:30:19 AM
One question, is this a fan-made translation? I mean, it's not bad but overly literal in places, especially with the "uuu"s and "kyaa"s and "nee-chan"s and stuff, unless this is par for the course for whatever company that released it.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: PX on January 22, 2012, 05:26:14 AM
Too hilarious. Keep it up
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on January 22, 2012, 07:47:22 AM
One question, is this a fan-made translation? I mean, it's not bad but overly literal in places, especially with the "uuu"s and "kyaa"s and "nee-chan"s and stuff, unless this is par for the course for whatever company that released it.
I'm pretty sure it's an official translation. And yeah, it varies, but that seems pretty much par for the course for that kind of thing. I dunno, I don't play H-games.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Seventh Holy Scripture on January 22, 2012, 10:34:19 AM
I'm pretty sure it's an official translation. And yeah, it varies, but that seems pretty much par for the course for that kind of thing. I dunno, I don't play H-games.

It's a fan translation that went official near completion, actually. I believe the original developer sent the fan translators a cease & desist notice, fan translators contacted JAST to help them compromise, and they managed to work things out.

Companies that publish these games in English tend to cater to the lowest common denominator among their fans, as the total number of sales for each title rank within four digits and occasionally fail to break three. Thus, you can pretty much count on honorifics and Japanese sound effects and such. If even a handful of people were upset enough at their absence to skip on the purchase, it would make an impact, and people who dislike literal translations tend not to be as vehement in their opinions.

Also, speaking from personal experience, it's really freaking hard to rewrite erotic dialogue into natural English even if you try - it's 90% onomatopoeia for which our language has no equivalent...
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 22, 2012, 04:52:32 PM
Part 6: No Spaceship Loli Left Behind (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/5012.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Suikama on January 22, 2012, 07:59:01 PM
I like how this time you didn't ask us to make the next choice :V
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on January 22, 2012, 10:04:18 PM
fuck you solais
Great work as always, Rou.

I like how this time you didn't ask us to make the next choice :V

We made the choice long ago. In our hearts.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 23, 2012, 03:35:21 PM
Part 7: OK Qoo Now You're Just Screwing With Me (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/5207.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Palewolf on January 23, 2012, 10:47:07 PM
My Little Battlecruiser Can't Be This Cute!
Haha this is great!  :]

Also seconding Ell for second place.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tamer Anode/Cathode on January 23, 2012, 11:52:22 PM
I think "the Emiya Shirou strain of EP" may be my favorite line in this chapter. Keep up the good work, I love the hell out of your style when you do LP's.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on January 25, 2012, 07:00:15 AM
I just generally liked all of this. :3

I think "the Emiya Shirou strain of EP" may be my favorite line in this chapter. Keep up the good work, I love the hell out of your style when you do LP's.
Now I want to see some kind of VN where going Emiya-Shirou causes worse results than letting the stronger woman do her thing.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 26, 2012, 04:24:17 PM
Part 8: The Return of James Hondo (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/5457.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on January 26, 2012, 05:13:20 PM
This is just getting all the more absurd and hilarious.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Jana on January 26, 2012, 05:57:10 PM
 :o
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: PX on January 26, 2012, 07:08:25 PM
This is just getting all the more absurd and hilarious.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Suikama on January 26, 2012, 08:42:56 PM
(http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/2516/38992020coffee20heroman.png)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Serela on January 26, 2012, 09:58:55 PM
oh dear god yes
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Byaaakuren on January 26, 2012, 10:25:24 PM
This is very awesome :*
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: yuyukos on January 26, 2012, 11:38:25 PM
Glorious :o
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on January 27, 2012, 06:28:56 AM
I lost it at
Solid Trouser-Snake
and
The Spy Who Saw Me Naked
X3
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Mr_Bob on January 27, 2012, 08:32:31 AM
Never did like pandas. Wonder how they taste though.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 31, 2012, 12:41:35 PM
Part 9: Emergency Hot Blood Injection (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/5793.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Palewolf on January 31, 2012, 08:17:22 PM
Jun ought to put on a fluffy costume, it might make Irina more forgiving with his *~issues~*  :derp:

Also Qoo
gaphax
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: blabla1994 on February 01, 2012, 04:56:49 AM
Admittedly I only played the Ell route, but based upon events that happen with in that route I am firmly convinced that Ell is the "best" route.

Then again, I have a massive bias for things along the line of Anthropomorphic spaceships.

Still, I find it hard to believe that any other route could "match" the things reveled in the Ell route. I don't know if the Putina route reveals those things or not so I'm gonna refrain from spoilers of any kind.

Well...
You've met Ell before
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Byaaakuren on February 01, 2012, 07:40:02 PM
GOD
of perverts
FINGERRRRRRRRR

Hahaha
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on February 01, 2012, 09:30:27 PM
Part 10: An Offer Jun Can't Refuse (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/6107.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on February 01, 2012, 10:13:46 PM
So you could say that Ell had a crush on Jun in the past. :]

And goddamn, you really called it :V
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on February 02, 2012, 05:49:15 AM
You know, I just like everything about these things. The way Rou jokes, the game's own humor, the way Rou plays his jokes off the game's ... it's just all great.

So you could say that Ell had a crush on Jun in the past. :]
Yeah (http://people.rit.edu/~bss6378/instantCSI/)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Ionasal kkll Solciel on February 02, 2012, 05:53:41 AM
If there's one thing Jun can be thankful for, it's that Qoo isn't one of those aliens who,
upon crashing into the local fauna, broadcasts her presence to the entire world and give the thing they crash into a sex change
.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Jq1790 on February 02, 2012, 08:01:39 PM
If there's one thing Jun can be thankful for, it's that Qoo isn't one of those aliens who,
upon crashing into the local fauna, broadcasts her presence to the entire world and give the thing they crash into a sex change
.
I think I saw that one once...I can't remember the name of it though, unfortunately.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on February 02, 2012, 08:40:16 PM
I think I saw that one once...I can't remember the name of it though, unfortunately.
That would be Kashimashi.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on February 02, 2012, 09:25:48 PM
Six Million Dollar Pervert. Way too fitting description of Jun there. :getdown:
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on February 05, 2012, 10:00:29 AM
Part 11: juDon't Touch Me There! (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/6308.html)

NOTE: I upgraded to a new laptop before I made this update, which is why there's a different font. Too lazy to dig out the font I was using, so dwi. :V
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Jana on February 05, 2012, 07:08:06 PM
If I remember correctly,  Japanese Niponese schools require boys to take either Judo or Kendo in gym. There was a similar requirement for girls, but I don't recall what their options were right now.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Maav on February 05, 2012, 07:57:10 PM
This novel is like, awesome.  :3c

The LP makes some funny points of it even funnier. GJ, Roukanken.
I'm just reading the whole thing because of your LP anyways
.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on February 06, 2012, 07:08:24 AM
Hmmm ... it occurred to me, after Yukino's pathetic attempt at "tsun" and your other comments about Puchin, that Puchin is actually a
tsardere
. :3

And yeah, I'm not holding my breath on that potential character development.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on February 08, 2012, 08:29:43 PM
Part 12: Slap on the Wrist (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/6450.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on February 08, 2012, 09:14:38 PM
Yeah ... I really dunno what to say here. I mean, I was expecting it to bounce right back, but that was a particularly stupid way of doing it, even for this game's standards.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: N-Forza on February 09, 2012, 04:18:44 AM
Roasted sweet potatoes aren't that good anyway and they smell really weird.

Then again, I've never been a potato person unless they were fried or possibly mashed.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Jq1790 on February 09, 2012, 06:48:48 PM
As much as I wanna say "You really SHOULD have gone with the Ell route"...  Somehow I know they'd screw it up just as badly if not make it worse.

Also never had sweet potatoes, but the very idea is just bleh to me, so yeah.

Funny LP you've got going though, Rou.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Tamer Anode/Cathode on February 09, 2012, 07:25:27 PM
I think I'm catching EP by proxy from this LP, because I'm thinking that
Irina in a maid outfit
is actually an intriguing prospect.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Ionasal kkll Solciel on February 10, 2012, 10:22:21 PM
I personally prefer sweet potato chips - cut it into quarter-inch thick slices, and pan fry until awesome.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on February 13, 2012, 07:53:27 PM
Part 13: The Nipponese Missile Crisis (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/6880.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Maav on February 13, 2012, 08:21:46 PM
That's one of the best parts in the novel. Yukino panicking is so... HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG <3
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on February 13, 2012, 11:33:09 PM
Ell confirmed for best character.... again.

Also:
I think the next title should be Kim Jong-Ilu.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Janitor Morgan on February 13, 2012, 11:42:34 PM
That's one of the best parts in the novel. Yukino panicking is so... HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG <3

Somehow I thought
"These are my orders to all forces! [...] Pat my head!"
was better, though more for comedic purposes.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Ionasal kkll Solciel on February 14, 2012, 02:14:39 AM
When did Ell manage to find the time to
jack the Vector Cannon from Jehuty
?
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on February 16, 2012, 05:40:45 AM
My personal favorite part was the
planetary-destruction beam
and Rounarration's reaction to it.

And the answer to your question is:
why wouldn't you have one of those?
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Stuffman on February 17, 2012, 10:21:16 PM
I think this is relevant.

(http://i.imgur.com/8AOh4.jpg)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on February 20, 2012, 11:35:32 PM
/me makes a note to draw smiley faces on his nukes if he ever gets any.

Also, new update!

Part 14: It's Technically Not A Date (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/7043.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on February 21, 2012, 02:53:16 AM
By the gods, Rou.
You've managed to kill us all. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8X9HER9bkM)
(Obviously, replace "Nyanners" with "Irina.")
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on February 21, 2012, 06:04:13 AM
... yeah, this game has never heard of this thing called "pacing," has it?
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on February 21, 2012, 03:57:40 PM
I think this is relevant.
Where's the South in all this? Oh, of course, it's off-panel panicking about this incident or hiding behind America's (and sometimes Japan's) back! :\

This update...hehehe. Seems almost painful to play through this rather arbitrary game full of deus ex machina; thankfully the comments make this situation all the better.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on February 21, 2012, 11:26:38 PM
Part 15: Who You Are In The Dark (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/7271.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Suikama on February 21, 2012, 11:58:51 PM
HA REM ROUTE

HA REM ROUTE

HA REM ROUTE

HA REM ROUTE
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on February 22, 2012, 12:30:04 AM
Congratulations, Rou, you've experienced what Shamus Young refers to as "story collapse": you'd be willing to suspend disbelief about plot-holes to a certain degree, since hey, nobody's perfect. However, if the plot holes and idiocy (or even just one terrible plot point!) reach a critically-stupid mass, you start wanting to criticize everything about it, even the stuff that would've gotten a free pass before. I mean ... you seem to have recovered enough to get back into it, but yeah, that was kind of terrible.

Also I take issue with the whole "this romance-option-character is strong-willed and badass. Therefore, wooing her must consist of breaking her down into meek submissiveness" plotline in general. I mean, case in point, did it not occur to them that players like Rou would have chosen her because they like strong-willed badass women? Of course, for all I know, all eroges with "different routes for different female characters" do that, but this isn't actually a point in favor of the concept.

Either way, I'm honestly wondering if the apparent self-awareness is actually meant to be self-parody, or whether it's an obnoxious sort of "HEY, THIS IS AN EROGE! YOU LIKE EROGES, RIGHT? AND THIS IS AN EROGE WHICH IS LIKE EROGES!!!" thing, because genuine self-parody is starting to seem like it would be a bit too clever for this game.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on February 22, 2012, 01:05:43 AM
1.
Also I take issue with the whole "this romance-option-character is strong-willed and badass. Therefore, wooing her must consist of breaking her down into meek submissiveness" plotline in general. I mean, case in point, did it not occur to them that players like Rou would have chosen her because they like strong-willed badass women? Of course, for all I know, all eroges with "different routes for different female characters" do that, but this isn't actually a point in favor of the concept.

I totally agree with this. It's kinda irritating that the most common portrayal of a romantic relationship in the media is the "i will protect you from everything" man and the "i can't do anything without you, literally" woman, and any pair that functions with a different dynamic is like the odd couple.

2.
But Yukino not being a sort-of-poorly-executed woobie and actually fighting dirty for her man?
:notbad:
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: pineyappled on February 22, 2012, 02:06:37 AM
HA REM ROUTE

HA REM ROUTE

HA REM ROUTE

HA REM ROUTE

The fandisc. :V
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: blabla1994 on February 22, 2012, 06:05:03 AM
The fandisc. :V

That reminds me, has the fandisc been translated in any fashion whatsoever? Even just a list of what everyone says would be fine.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: pineyappled on February 22, 2012, 06:08:36 AM
Nope. It used very easy Japanese, though, and most of it was just Yukino and Irina going I'M JUN'S MAID NOT YOU D<

(Don't read it. It was terrible. Like, much, much worse than you would expect for an already bad game.)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Solais on February 22, 2012, 12:59:27 PM
But it has swimsuit Ell, and that could woo Rou. :V
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: blabla1994 on February 22, 2012, 01:42:01 PM
Actually I was more interested in the Ell route then Irina's.

But whatever I guess.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Maav on February 22, 2012, 01:42:57 PM
Nope. It used very easy Japanese, though, and most of it was just Yukino and Irina going I'M JUN'S MAID NOT YOU D<

(Don't read it. It was terrible. Like, much, much worse than you would expect for an already bad game.)
Play the fandisc's harem route for the porn



Anyway, do Ell's route next. I'm too lazy to read through it You managed to make the story a lot funnier than it was before. :V

Edit:
That is, if you're going to do another route.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on February 26, 2012, 12:29:06 PM
Part 16: No Longer Alone! (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/7488.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Stuffman on February 26, 2012, 02:39:44 PM
Oh god it's not over yet D:
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on February 26, 2012, 03:22:20 PM
Oh god it's not over yet D:
Pretty much this. :ohdear:
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on February 26, 2012, 03:58:28 PM
Space ship battles?
Space ship battles.
SPACE SHIP BATTLES.

This game has it all, doesn't it.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: ICE on February 26, 2012, 06:58:03 PM
I think I fell in love when the 'spaceship bridge' turned out to be an exact replica of the bridge on the USS Enterprise (Original series).

This can't help but be hysterical.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on February 27, 2012, 01:07:46 AM
yep, we officially have Story Collapse.

Any interest I had in eroges has ... ceased to be, basically. ::)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: yuyukos on February 27, 2012, 03:09:02 AM
This Putin has ceased to interest me as a character.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Suikama on February 27, 2012, 03:13:32 AM
its the moeblob curse :derp:
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on March 09, 2012, 07:33:32 PM
Part 17: New Year's Heave (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/7815.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Jana on March 09, 2012, 09:02:29 PM
(http://nerdapproved.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/khaaaaan.jpg?cb5e28)

KUOOOOOOOOOOON
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Janitor Morgan on March 09, 2012, 10:42:47 PM
(http://nerdapproved.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/khaaaaan.jpg?cb5e28)

KUOOOOOOOOOOON

ahahahahaha ilu Jana
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on March 09, 2012, 10:45:34 PM
This is starting to give me a similar sensation to watching an LP of Sonic 2006.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on March 10, 2012, 01:08:20 AM
This is starting to give me a similar sensation to watching an LP of Sonic 2006.
I have to agree.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Desu_Cake on March 12, 2012, 11:40:31 PM
Relevant (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYrjHoI2iUs)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: yuyukos on March 12, 2012, 11:52:21 PM
Relevant (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYrjHoI2iUs)
Oh god, all of the Clinton faces, I can't unsee them. :ohdear:
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on March 13, 2012, 04:53:56 AM
... I'm torn between hilarity and THIS IS STUPID
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on March 19, 2012, 08:45:49 PM
Part 18: Fruit Is Ruined For Me Forever (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/8111.html)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on March 20, 2012, 12:12:01 AM
Calling Jun a family man is just...OK, there's just almost no way Guile's theme can go with this scene...
...oh wait, it did anyhow. ???

*cue TF2 Spy voice* This is getting awkward! (as if it wasn't crazy enough already)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: yuyukos on March 20, 2012, 02:36:37 AM
I applaud the Youtube soundtrack that accompanies this post :V.
Putina's character has not maintained her appeal. dislike.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on March 20, 2012, 04:31:54 AM
I am so glad my family ran out of bananas last week.
Yeah, that scene in the beginning really killed Putina for me. And so did the scene after that.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: N-Forza on March 20, 2012, 04:49:43 AM
Are all porn VNs this bad? Because this is pretty terrible.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Sapz on March 20, 2012, 06:11:54 PM
Oh god, this sounds bad. :V
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on March 20, 2012, 07:50:42 PM
Part 19: The Not-So-Scarlet Sisters (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/8378.html)

Yes, I'm pushing to finish this quickly. I want this game finished so I can do better things with my life. x_x
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on March 20, 2012, 11:29:34 PM
Part 20: Zero Percent Approval (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/8527.html)

Epilogue writeup coming shortly because I need to fucking vent.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Jq1790 on March 21, 2012, 12:12:56 AM
Someone give Rou a freaking medal for surviving this, presumably without murdering anybody.  Also congrats on freeing yourself from this apparent nightmare.  Looking forward to epic rage rant of ultimate destruction.  =p
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Silent Harmony on March 21, 2012, 12:16:44 AM
I commend you Rou; you are a far stronger man than I to be able to endure so much torture.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Amraphenson on March 21, 2012, 12:17:14 AM
and so Rou's term as President of wtfamIreading is over. o/
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Fetch()tirade on March 21, 2012, 12:22:38 AM
0/10
what the fuck was that
i can't even begin to understand

Rou, I salute you, for valiantly serving in the line of duty against shitty VNs.
o7
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on March 21, 2012, 12:23:42 AM
Epilogue: Standing Down From Office (http://roukanken.livejournal.com/8884.html)

It's 12:30. I have uni tomorrow morning.

Goodnight.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: DX7.EP on March 21, 2012, 12:38:27 AM
Finally, this abomination of a game is put to rest. Kudos for covering it entirely in this LP, Rou.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Iced Fairy on March 21, 2012, 01:31:23 AM
Your rage was calmer then mine.  I'm currently attempting to make voodoo dolls of the writers and translators.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Stuffman on March 21, 2012, 02:28:47 AM
Quote
[20:03:07] <Rou|StrainedForeignAffairs> jesus that ending
[20:03:15] <Stuffman> Yeah I just finished reading it
[20:03:26] <Rou|StrainedForeignAffairs> I'm writing up a final angry rant right now
[20:03:32] <Stuffman> NOW YOU CAN GET READY TO DO THE NEXT ROUTE :DDD
[20:03:41] Rou|StrainedForeignAffairs kills Stuffman
[20:03:43] <Rou|StrainedForeignAffairs> never
[20:03:46] <Rou|StrainedForeignAffairs> ever
[20:03:46] <Rou|StrainedForeignAffairs> ever
[20:04:08] <Stuffman> No wait hear me out, Irina started off as the best and became the worst right
[20:04:18] <Rou|StrainedForeignAffairs> So if I go for Ran's route...
[20:04:19] <Stuffman> Well maybe you could do Ran route and it will somehow turn out to be a masterpiece

Someone needs to pick up the torch. If my theory is correct, Ran route is Nobel Prize material.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Jana on March 21, 2012, 02:30:47 AM
I was actually thinking the same thing. The least established character will provide the least amount of despair when she breaks into a moeblob!
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Serela on March 21, 2012, 02:34:41 AM
In a way, there's almost an excuse for Irina turning into a submissive hoebag because she was specifically reconstructed by Zoumu creep to be his slavewife.

But I'm not trying to actually defend this game because daaaaamn :V

I really have to wonder how the other routes go though. I mean, with Irina's backstory (Being the inexplicably young Rusian president) and such, well, yeah. But the other choices... ??? Still, I imagine they're also painful, soooo yeah.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Sapz on March 21, 2012, 03:36:04 AM
God damn, sounds like a painful read judging by your reaction. :V
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Grimarg on March 21, 2012, 05:26:56 AM
This... My brain...

/me puts a gun against his head and pulls the trigger.

Look on the bright side, what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger they say. You may now have developed a stronger resistance to extremely crappy stuff!
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: qno2 on March 21, 2012, 09:31:42 AM
The war might be over but the scars will remain. At least you will live on to tell your grandchildren about the war to warn every single living human being on the planet.

Rou, how are you feeling? Any signs of PTSD? Any re-experiencing, emotional numbing, negative outlook on life, avoidance of certain situations/media? How long have these symptoms persisted? Is it impairing you in your daily life?

Quote from: Roukanken
When people say that Japan is a sexist society, this is the shit they're talking about. This is a big VN. It's popular. Lots of people like it.
I sure hope that all the popularity stems from the beginning, otherwise even a "oh japan (where hast thou gone)... ... ..." won't be an adequate expression.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Mr_Bob on March 21, 2012, 09:46:17 AM
Quote
"Self-esteem? Independence? Willpower? Responsibility? To hell with those, I need more bananas in my mouth."
Mmm, Potassium.

Writers would have been better served to continue with the hi-jinks, wit and jabs present at the beginning, rather than trying have a touching or meaningful plot.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: yuyukos on March 22, 2012, 12:20:24 AM
You are truly a hero for completing this LP. Let's hope there's no lasting effects as a result :ohdear:.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: XephyrEnigma on March 22, 2012, 03:48:24 AM
You are truly a hero for completing this LP. Let's hope there's no lasting effects as a result :ohdear:.

Yeah, seriously I hope you're okay after that travesty of a trainwreck( no I am not referring to this as a visual novel.)
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on March 22, 2012, 07:53:04 AM
Yeah ... now I have the final-boss version of His World stuck in my head. :V The thing is, it keeps having some interesting/cool things (like Robotnik's scouter-goggles the locker-bomb thing), but that's just the background of a wait just a goddamn second


Holy shit, guys. This is the eroge equivalent of Twilight.

This is Sonic 2006 and Twilight.
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: Silent Harmony on March 22, 2012, 05:35:14 PM
  • It involves things which are impossible by our current scientific understanding
  • The narrative treats "the woman is an entirely useless piece of shit who can barely function without the help of her asshole creep of a boyfriend, who treats her as a possession" as "romance"
  • The story is very badly put together
  • It is inexplicably popular in its country of origin

Holy shit, guys. This is the eroge equivalent of Twilight.
:o
Title: Re: Let's Play My Girlfriend Is The President! (NSFW-ish, off-site)
Post by: XephyrEnigma on March 22, 2012, 06:23:43 PM
Yeah ... now I have the final-boss version of His World stuck in my head. :V The thing is, it keeps having some interesting/cool things (like Robotnik's scouter-goggles the locker-bomb thing), but that's just the background of a wait just a goddamn second

  • It involves things which are impossible by our current scientific understanding
  • The narrative treats "the woman is an entirely useless piece of shit who can barely function without the help of her asshole creep of a boyfriend, who treats her as a possession" as "romance"
  • The story is very badly put together
  • It is inexplicably popular in its country of origin

Holy shit, guys. This is the eroge equivalent of Twilight.

This is Sonic 2006 and Twilight.

My god... It all makes sense now.
This itself isnt a trainwreck... this is the aftermath of the preceding two trains colliding.