Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Beyond the Border~ => Daiyousei's Cold Storage => Topic started by: Kanako Yasaka on October 26, 2009, 03:43:11 AM
-
http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/5944/lolgj.png
=P
[size=9]SNOWBALL CHALLENGE (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3355.0)[/size]
LINKS TO THE CHAPTERS OF DiG You really should read this fic.
Chapter 1 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3357.msg141624#msg141624)
Chapter 2 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3357.msg142386#msg142386)
Chapter 3 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3357.msg145179#msg145179)
Chapter 4 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3357.msg146606#msg146606)
Chapter 5 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3357.msg147593#msg147593)
Chapter 6 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3357.msg149934#msg149934)
Chapter 7 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3357.msg152385#msg152385)
Chapter 8 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=3357.msg153618#msg153618)
-
ITT private messages aren't as private as you think.
-
AH-HA! I knew it!!
actually it was pretty obvious, BUT STILL
-
Wait, who's he?
-
Yeah, the name was a dead giveaway that he was someone suspicious.
-
See, I haven't been around for enough banned people to make any conclusions about this one but "obnoxious idiot know-it-all". :V
-
Ha.
Dude got served.
Also
Yeah, the name was a dead giveaway that he was someone suspicious.
http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=1083
:V
-
So why did he get banned in the first place?
-
Yeah, before my time I think. But geez, could he have been any more obvious?
-
He got banned for cussing out the mod staff for a mistake they made.
-
Well this is lovely. I figured he was too annoying for his own good.
-
This is one ban I didn't witness. Guess I should watch other boards more.
-
<Drake> okay so
<Drake> what the hell is going on with Touhou Fan
<Drake> he's seriously pissing me off
<Nwbi> His name sounds suspiciously similar to one banned member.
<Nwbi> Sans 'The.'
<Drake> yeah
<Drake> but naming yourself after your banned self is too smart for him
<Kanako> http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/5944/lolgj.png
<Kanako> Concrete evidence that touhou fan is videogamer >_>
<Nwbi> Heh.
<Drake> jesus christ he's dumb
<Drake> banbanbanbanban
<LettyWhiterock> lol
<Nwbi> Oops. There's a mod here. >_>
<LettyWhiterock> And not just any mod!
<LettyWhiterock> I am Letty Whiterock!
<Nwbi> So, your verdict is?
<Drake> like bandodge x5 now
<Kanako> Maybe you should invoke a Letty Whiterock Snowball Challenge on him?
<LettyWhiterock> hehehehehe
<Kanako> But ban him even if he does fulfill whatever you ask him?
<LettyWhiterock> I love this idea.
<LettyWhiterock> Ahahaha.
<LettyWhiterock> Wow, he's not even trying to hide it, is he.
<LettyWhiterock> His e-mails are a worse giveaway than his name.
<Drake> derpderp
<LettyWhiterock> HE LINKED SANKAKU COMPLEX
<LettyWhiterock> TIME FOR LETTY TO INTERVENE
<Drake> y
-
[IRC log]
I love you guys. <3
-
(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/1579/johnmccain.jpg)
^^^^^^
Videogamer
-
He got banned for cussing out the mod staff for a mistake they made.
I think I saw him before I became a frequent poster. Did he say "Oh Shit sorry, I didn't realize you were a mod. If I did I never would've yelled at you" and I think it was to TSO can't remember well
-
YES LETTY
-
I think I saw him before I became a frequent poster. Did he say "Oh Shit sorry, I didn't realize you were a mod. If I did I never would've yelled at you" and I think it was to TSO can't remember well
Nah, that was Stargroup. This thing happened on the very first day the new forums went up.
-
I think I saw him before I became a frequent poster. Did he say "Oh Shit sorry, I didn't realize you were a mod. If I did I never would've yelled at you" and I think it was to TSO can't remember well
That was stargroup and he told Letty to fuck off.
-
With a name like that, it's not like he was fooling anyone anyway.
-
Yes, Letty should go through with Kanako's idea
-
Maybe just in case he waddles in here we should hide that IRC log?
Also everyone the plan is already in effect.
-
what irc log
-
Maybe just in case he waddles in here we should hide that IRC log?
Also everyone the plan is already in effect.
I Unfunnied him, so it doesn't matter.
-
I think hes offline now anyways.
-
Ahahahaha~ I actually brought it up on IRC hours ago. I'm glad that I'm not the only one to have notcied such an obvious ban dodge attempt~
And yes, we all love Letty, but that's not new.
-
derp
-
I edited it in again, 'Nako. :P
-
<Drake> donut says he just installed mirc today
<Drake> he has no idea how it works
<Nwbi> >_>
<Nwbi> >_>
<Nwbi> >_>
<Kanako> ilu Letty
This is true. :V
-
This is true. :V
We were going to stage Zengar B Stage 1. :V
-
...
And I went for the trouble to get a portable IRC client.
GODDAMNIT DONUT
-
We were going to stage Zengar B Stage 1. :V
Go ahead and tell me how to get there via HydraIRC, but right now I really need to do that homework I've been stalling the past 3 days on. 10% of my semester grade is kinda important. :<
-
You better do your homework mister donut.
/fingerwag
-
There, did enough of my math homework so that I can cram the rest in before school. Now for the ACTUAL homework. >_>
Really, I don't know how to get to #Ijiatsu, so tell me how. I'm notoriously bad at figuring "modern" technology out.
-
Hmm... I don't know about that client, but the /attach command should apply, correct?
/attach irc.dejatons.net/ijiatsu
Edit: Assuming that's the correct channel, of course.
-
(http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/336/ohklol.png)
-
By popular demand, I guess. :V
-
He still doesn't realize his name was fucking obvious?
-
Tell him he blew his own whistle. I'm no mod, and I spotted him right away, as did... Almost everyone else that was around when he got banned, actually.
-
Letty knew before that IRC log took place, never mind when it was posted. I confirmed this on AIM.
-
http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/336/ohklol.png
Haha, oh wow.
-
Great way to make friends.
-
Lol I would have found him well before that, just haven't been here to do so. He didn't even bother to change IPs on all of his reregs.
BTW he was banned for having incoherent posts and basically being a complete nuisance. We tempbanned him for a week for threadshitting and just being a bad poster. This is right during the transition from the last forum build to this one. When the forum build was complete, he made this gem of a thread.
(http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/1847/videogamerthread.jpg)
You see, Edible and Kilga confused him with Zengeku because we had just perma'ed him and assumed he was just trying to play coy. But of course I lost all sympathy with that thread. You don't rereg and make call out threads to mods.
Best thing is, if he had just read the gigantic sticky saying "FORUMS ARE BEING WIPED, YOU MUST REREG", he could have just reregged and got out of his ban early and we wouldn't have noticed.
-
(http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/KimikoMuffin/muffinhoratio1.jpg)
Man, the way he's bouncing back and forth ...
(http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/KimikoMuffin/muffinhoratio2.jpg)
... you could almost say ...
(http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/KimikoMuffin/muffinhoratio3.jpg)
... he's rubber banned.
(http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/KimikoMuffin/miami-yeah.jpg) (http://filesmelt.com/downloader/miami-yeah.mp3)
-
Looks like Touhoufan didn't graze as well as he thought.
Also: really looking forward to the 1000-word humilo-fic.
-
See I don't understand these retards who keep on reregging and attempting to bandodge when it's clear they are not wanted here. Especially people who don't even bother to change their habits to blend it.
Basically the only way to hide from me is to change your posting habits drastically so I don't notice you. And if you're willing to bother with that then you're now obeying the rules and you wouldn't have gotten perma'ed in the first place.
-
Looks like Touhoufan didn't graze as well as he thought.
Also: really looking forward to the 1000-word humilo-fic.
He probably won't do it :c
-
See I don't understand these retards who keep on reregging and attempting to bandodge when it's clear they are not wanted here. Especially people who don't even bother to change their habits to blend it.
Basically the only way to hide from me is to change your posting habits drastically so I don't notice you. And if you're willing to bother with that then you're now obeying the rules and you wouldn't have gotten perma'ed in the first place.
It's because they don't actually think of the people here. They aren't seriously aware of Other People. They think "a(n) [insert topic here] forum/site/whatever," or "the community," or just plain "a big awesome thing that I wanna be a part of!" except that their idea of "what it should be like" is different from the way it actually is. So rather than try to get to know the socially acceptable behavior, they try to "force" it to fit their ideas through their behavior, which doesn't work, thus causing conflict with the actual Other People.
I know. I've been there.
-
Ye gods...
I've seen a lot of people get probated (or GEOSed, as I still think of it [Grand Example Of Stupidity]) and banned, and I've seen bandodgers before, but...I mean, some of them were just for stepping a bit far or for not reading the rules, and I've seen them turn into active and high-quality members of a community, but then you get people like this. And then all you can do is SNOWBALL CHALLENGE
I really hope he writes it.
-
honestly, I'm a little tempted to write that story myself.
I think I could write a good douchebag
-
honestly, I'm a little tempted to write that story myself.
I think I could write a good douchebag
do it
Also, lol I lied, I'm not sleeping tonight :V
-
honestly, I'm a little tempted to write that story myself.
I think I could write a good douchebag
By all means. Set a bar.
-
honestly, I'm a little tempted to write that story myself.
I think I could write a good douchebag
You have my support.
-
OH GOD HE DID IT. Or at least tried to. I'm not trying to read that shit, it hasn't got any paragraph breaks.
-
I actually took the plunge and read it, and he makes it clear that he doesn't know hardly anything about the characters. >_>
-
e: eh, I'm not that tired. I'll do it now!!!
e2: I'm scared at how well this is going...
-
Bandodging, it is such a awesome thing.
While we are talking about it: Has Chagen ever tried to bandodge?
-
Yes, I fixed IP banning because of it.
-
Poor Chagen, too dumb to realize he can avoid IP-banning if he registers at a different computer~
-
Poor Chagen, too dumb to realize he can avoid IP-banning if he registers at a different computer~
You'd still get found
-
You'd still get found
But you can always try doing it, and fail miserably.
-
Lecture Hall'd the thread. What a good day~
-
I love it when such things happen~
Am I a horrible person now?
-
I love it when such things happen~
Am I a horrible person now?
A person can not be a taco, so no.
-
I love it when such things happen~
Am I a horrible person now?
Nah. Not when they've earned it for themselves.
-
A person can not be a taco, so no.
Wow, I never expected you to say I am not a horrible person.
-
fuck, I have to do two from each windows game (and Mima)? I'm over 600 words and the protagonist just got sent to Gensokyo.
e: well, maybe I can shoehorn it in, I mean I'm sorta doing this like the protagonist is unreliable anyway, so he'd skip stuff or shorten it
e2: Or, well, it's only the windows games, so I could expand it, or do it by chapters...or I could just shut up and do the whole thing.
-
fuck, I have to do two from each windows game (and Mima)? I'm over 600 words and the protagonist just got sent to Gensokyo.
Looks like you got a Creativity Burst, man. Beware when you run out of power!
-
Wow, I never expected you to say I am not a horrible person.
You're a horrible schwarma
-
You're a horrible schwarma
If you say so~
-
OK, expect ch1 to appear sometime before 3:45 AM CST. And check it, I'm doing the characters in chronological order starting with Reimu, Marisa, and Mima just to get them out of the way.
At least Ch 2 will be up tomorrow.
no, I don't fuck around with this.
-
I am so excite
-
HERE WE FUCKING GO
--------------------------------------------------
Douchebag in Gensokyo
Chapter 1
When you see me, it don?t take an idiot to figure it out. I?m ALPHA. A superior being. A real man, unlike the faggots and fairies you see walking around campus. But it might surprise you, I don?t really score a lot. I know! It?s tragic! But I think I figured it out.
Y?see, bitches are afraid of me. Yeah, you know it, they see me and they?re like ?Oh, he?s so big and mean looking?, but I?m not, I mean I?m big (I?m ALPHA after all, plus I lift weights a lot) but I?m not mean, I?m actually nice unless someone pisses me off.
My last girlfriend pissed me off. She broke up with me, for that fucking queer Roddy, you know, the dude with the boosted F150, with the gay fucking flame job. That pissed me off so bad. Yeah, I roughed her up a bit. Yeah, I broke her nose. Yeah, I killed her dog. Bitch had it coming, ?cause once you?re my girl you?re MINE, end of discussion, because baby you don?t get better than me, I?m ALPHA, and you don?t get better than ALPHA.
Roddy?better not say what I did to Roddy, shit might get me arrested again. But he had it coming too, so what if he?s in a fucking coma, you don?t mess with AN ALPHA WOLF.
But anyway, here?s something awesome that happened the other day. So I was walking with Todd, we were going to pick up some bitches and smoke some ganja, maybe get a little fucked up, maybe get some pussy tonight, and I was already a little jazzed because I had got some new HGH and I had already took some, so what happened next was really surprising.
So we get to the bar and we go grab a table when I see this smokin? hot chick sitting by herself up at the bar. Man, I remember that shit, she was like blonde and had this ugly-ass hat and dress on, and an umbrella thing. She was a little old but fuck, I don?t care, I like fucking old chicks. So I walk up, you know, doing my ALPHA thing and shit, and I walk up beside her and I say to her ???sup baby.? So she turns towards me and she?s got like yellow eyes, like yellow like a banana eyes, no fucking kidding. And she says ?Are you talking to me?? And I go, ?Yeah, girl, I just wanna get to know you.? So she sorta smiles and I?m thinking ?Yeah, I got this, don?t even need the GHB this time?? then this bitch starts laughing.
So now I?m getting pissed, I mean I don?t let any fucking cunt laugh at me, I?m ALPHA, so I go ?Yo, what?s the fucking problem, what you fucking laughing at, bitch?? And she says ?Pink shirt with popped collar, tilted baseball cap, fake tan?yeah, you?re perfect. A perfect douchebag.?
And now I?m really pissed, ?cause this bitch called me a douchebag. But then?she takes my hand. And she says ?Come with me.? And we both go off to the bathroom. So I give Todd a thumbs up because I?m gonna get some like right now and that fag hasn?t gotten shit.
So we get to the bathroom, and I?m all ready to go, then she leads me to a stall and pushes me into it. So I?m sitting on the toilet and this chick is standing in front of me, and I?m thinking ?fuuuuuuck yeeeeeeeah? when she says ?OK, this might be?unpleasant? and I?m wondering what the fuck she?s talking about when I start falling.
I land on my back, hard, on something that feels like rock and I?m looking up and that bitch is looking at me through some eyelid-looking thing. And she says to me, ?A perfect douchebag. Reimu?s going to like you.?
And I?m laying on my back. Not gonna lie, that shit hurt. And I hear this voice behind me, yelling, ?Fucking Yukari!? So I sit up, and I turn around and see this chick wearing some sort of gay looking red-and-white clothes with sleeves that didn?t hook up to her shirt, and she?s walking towards me, and she?s yelling, ?Every time I turn around I always have to clean up her fucking messes! I?m the one who has to deal with the fucking douches she sends over here!? And I?m looking at her while she?s yelling and I?m thinking ?Yeah, she?s kinda hot?
What? Yeah, I know, I just got zapped to another world, and I should be worried but what can I say, you can?t tame a wolf baby.
So I?m thinking, you know, I could get with her. Show her what an ALPHA can do to her. So I work my thing. ??sup, baby.?
She stops. I can tell she?s totally fucking in to me. She sorta stammers out, ?Wh?no, no, no. We are not doing this. You are not hitting on me right now.? So by this time I?ve gotten up, and I?m walking towards her, you know, doing my thing, ready to rock some pussy, and I say, ?Yeah, baby, we are doing this right now, you know you wanna get with an ALPHA, honey.?
She shakes her head, ?Alpha? Sorry, but what did you just say?? And, you know, I tell her, I?m ALPHA, I?m the top, I?m the best man she?ll ever get, but man?bitches are afraid of me, of my power, so she starts laughing (To cover up her fear) and she says ?Oh man, you?re an idiot! Do you honestly think, for one moment, that I wanna screw a walking pile of steroids like you?? She?s laughing really hard now. Like, she?s holding her stomach and shit. ?Oh, yeah, take me you living growth hormone!?
So she turns around, still laughing her ass off, and she yells ?Oy, Mima, you gotta see this douchebag! He wants to fuck me!? And I?m thinking ?Not anymore, bitch.? But then I see something really fucked up.
This chick comes out of nowhere, except?she?s like half a chick. She?s got like green hair, and a pointy blue hat, and some sort of blue jacket thing?and she don?t got no legs, only some ghost looking thing. And green hair says ?Oh, wonderful, Yukari sent us another moron.? So this bitch floats up to me, no shit, she floats and she says ?Oh, right, yeah, this steroid on two legs wants to fuck you. I doubt he even has the equipment anymore, what with all the shit he?s probably been taking.?
So right now I?m pissed. I mean, in the last ten minutes or so I?ve had three different bitches make fun of me, and you know my dick isn?t all that small, I?m a grower not a shower anyway, and size don?t matter when you?re a dick samurai like I am anyway. So I snap at ghost bitch, ?Well, ghost bitch, come down here and clamp that bitch-ass mouth of your around my cock and see what kind of equipment I have!?
Ghost bitch just laughs and says ?Oh, yeah, he?s a keeper.? She shakes her head. ?Look idiot, if you wanna get laid, your options are kinda tapped out here. I suggest you go to the villiage.? She points behind me, to an arch thing and some stairs.
?Just go down the stairs and follow the trail through the forest. The village is about a day?s walk from here. There might be youkai around, but that?s not a problem for an?ALPHA like you, right?? And I?m like ?No, that ain?t a problem, I?ll show those fucking youkai what an ALPHA can do.? And I turn around and go down the stairs and onto this path.
I follow the path for a while. It starts getting dark, and I?m getting tired and hungry, and I don?t wanna sleep in the fucking forest, but I must be lucky or something (Or I?m just that much of an ALPHA) because I see a house in the forest. I get off the trail and walk to it, and I knock on the door.
So this chick opens the door, some blonde bitch with an apron, and I say to her, ?Look, I?m going to some village, and it?s getting dark, and I?m hungry, so can I crash with you for the night? Seriously, I need some help.?
The chick looks me over, and she says ?Ok, ze, why not?? So she lets me in and I say, ?Yo, what?s with the ?ze? thing?? And she says ?What ?ze thing?, ze?? And I?m smart, so I go, ?Never mind.?
Night falls like a fat chick falling down the stairs (And I know what that sounds like, ha) and we?re sitting in her living room. She?s reading and I?m just looking around, thinking ?Man, Sportscenter is probably on right now? and I?m missing my TV. So I look at her, and I start thinking some dirty shit, like me rocking her pussy. But the last two times I tried to do my thing, it didn?t go so well, so I start off slow. ?What?s your name?? She looks up and says ?Oh, it?s Marisa, ze.? And I?m like ?Yeah, that?s a pretty name. I?m Bobby.? And then she smiles and goes back to reading. And I?m thinking, ?Oh yeah I got this.? So I say to her, ?You ever been with an ALPHA before, baby?? And she looks up and says, ?ALPHA, ze?? And I start flexing, showing her the guns and shit, and I say, ?Yeah, an ALPHA baby, I?m ALPHA, I?m the best.? And she sorta smiles and says ?ALPHA. Right.? And I?m like, ?Yeah, ALPHA...so, you wanna get rocked, baby??
Then she closes her book and gets up. ?You know, ze, it?s time for bed.? And I get up too and I say ?Yeah, baby, you ready to get your world rocked?? But then this bitch turns around and says, ?Uh, no, sorry, ze, but I only date members of my own species.? Shot down again! I don?t fucking believe this!
She wanders off to her room. ?Look, ze, I?m going to bed. Without you. You get the sofa, ze.? And when she gets to her doorway, she turns around and says ?If you come into my room, I?ll zap you, ze.?
Pff. Whatever. Bitch doesn?t know what she?s missing.
-
Oh man, this is fucking great!
Keep going, keep going!!
-
Oh man, this is fucking great!
Keep going, keep going!!
Tomorrow, I am tired right now.
-
Mima is the ghost bitch!
-
Awesome read, my friend.
I'm looking forward to what'll happen next~
Mima is the ghost bitch!
But she's half of a chick!
-
Tomorrow, I am tired right now.
ok <3
SLEEP WELL, MY PRINCE <3
-
Mima is the ghost bitch!
I still think Mima is ~~~<3
-
Hahahaha yes
-
I hate Mima.
:smug:
-
Hahahaa this is hilarious. XD
-
I hate Mima.
:smug:
Well, to each their own, I still love Mima~
-
Well, to each their own, I still love Mima~
Nope, I'm overriding your love of Mima with my hate.
-
Well done, Apothesis.
You've got the perfect flair for stories like this.
-
Nope, I'm overriding your love of Mima with my hate.
Then I override that with Fire Bomber (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKLuRRbDrlg)
-
Man Brucie is a jerk when he's on the roid rage.
Also I was tempted to do this myself, but it would just be frontin' against Apotheosis' works at this point.
-
Night falls like a fat chick falling down the stairs
This is the greatest simile ever
-
A++++++++
-
Robby Bagleaducia who was Bobby Bagleaducia was one day a frat party when he got an email from his brodawg saying gaps and miko were lauging at him and aksed for his brohelp. So he had to bro.
-
That was well-done, Apo. Be proud for setting the bar really fucking high.
And yeah Touhou Fan forgot Mima and a bunch of games. During previous discussion, he didn't even know about UNL/12.3/SWRAlpha, so I'm not too surprised by his failure in the Snowball Challenge.
-
This has no relevance to the topic at hand, but....
Jan: YEEAAAHHHH!
-
I hate Mima.
:smug:
hi5
-
hi5
that makes 3 of us :V
-
what the fuck
i missed it all ;-;
-
what the fuck
i missed it all ;-;
The legend will never die.
-
Ha ha ha oh my god
This is amazing, and the Snowballed avatar is awesome. Apo, we need chapter 2!
-
what the fuck
i missed it all ;-;
Me too.
Damn you sleep!
-
Seriously, Mima fans ruin what little love I would have had for her.
Even then I don't get the whole hype with her.
-
She's way too normal to be a Touhou. :V
-
I don't really understand it either.
This coming from a person who shuns Windows for PC98 AND is a huge Shinkifag.
-
Has anyone (besides me) ever SUCCEEDED at a Snowball challenge? I mean, Touhou Fan deserved to lose, but yeah.
EDIT: OH GOD HOW DID I MISS THAT FIC?
Apo...I actually wanted to kill the guy three paragraphs in. You are a master of portraying douchebaggery :P.
-
"How the F*** did you know?"
man, First thing I thought when I saw his original post was "snowballed? I thought he was banned". Didn't even notice his name 'changed'. I thought he got banned originally for insisting on creating one waifu thread after another though, oh well.
-
Oh god Apo, I laughed until I cried :V
-
Ch.2 will be up later tonight, just not feeling it at the moment.
-
Ch.2 will be up later tonight, just not feeling it at the moment.
oh baby
-
I tried to read it aloud, but my mic crapped out and my voice sounds like Bill Clinton anyway. Someone else can do the audiobook.
-
Seriously, Mima fans ruin what little love I would have had for her.
Even then I don't get the whole hype with her.
Anime fans make anime suck.
Touhou fans make Touhou suck.
____ fans make ____ suck.
I can't speak for anyone else within the fandom, but the first time I saw Mima, I thought she looked pretty awesome. She just seemed so cool, and what I could read of her dialogue made me like her quite a bit. I am a legitimate fan of Mima and honestly thought I was one of the few for a while. Then, Mima fans became incredibly outspoken, and sure, it was a little annoying, but a handful of us would actually like to see her return, even if it's just as a Stage 1 boss or something. I'm surprised that you guys don't hate every Touhou character with a fandom, because this is not exclusive to Mima by any stretch.
-
I tried to read it aloud, but my mic crapped out and my voice sounds like Bill Clinton anyway. Someone else can do the audiobook.
Rou
-
Anime fans make anime suck.
Touhou fans make Touhou suck.
____ fans make ____ suck.
I can't speak for anyone else within the fandom, but the first time I saw Mima, I thought she looked pretty awesome. She just seemed so cool, and what I could read of her dialogue made me like her quite a bit. I am a legitimate fan of Mima and honestly thought I was one of the few for a while. Then, Mima fans became incredibly outspoken, and sure, it was a little annoying, but a handful of us would actually like to see her return, even if it's just as a Stage 1 boss or something. I'm surprised that you guys don't hate every Touhou character with a fandom, because this is not exclusive to Mima by any stretch.
Thing is, the fandom is not what ruined Mima for me. I didn't really care for Mima to begin with. The fandom just gave me LESS of a reason to bother, it's hardly the only reason.
I'm not that thickheaded of an idiot.
-
When I first encountered Mima in Touhou Soccer 2 (I was still new to touhou then, yes) and came to the point in the main storyline in which Reimu is challenged by Mima I must say it was the start of something that may be called an obsession, this character I had no encountered before deflecting goal after goal with that very badass look on her face. From there I went and learned more about Mima and came to adore her character for multiple reasons as being the teacher of Marisa and having had a pretty big part in the first few touhou games even as a playable character.
I adore many aspects about Mima and yes many Mima fans can be annoying about the whole BRING MIMA BACK thing and perhaps it may get on the nerves of some people or cause them to like the character less. I don't understand why other people like other characters as much as they do either but that probably just means I do not perceive that character the same way that appeals so much to that person.
What I'm trying to get at is, I just feel uncomfortable when people say that my favorite character sucks, I believe much in the way anyone else would.
-
mima's alright
-
What did I miss.
-
I like Mima almost solely because she is incredibly hammy. Is that so wrong~?
-
What did I miss.
Night time falling like a fat chick falling down the stairs, and a douchebag bunking with Marisa.
-
What I'm trying to get at is, I just feel uncomfortable when people say that my favorite character sucks, I believe much in the way anyone else would.
I just do that to troll the insane Mima fans. No offense intended.
-
expect ch.2 by 6:30, I'm like 2/3 done.
I was going to play Sins of a Solar Empire tonight (Bought it yesterday, along with Tropico 3 and the two FO3 add-on packs) but I decided to spend the last few hours writing, because I'm starting to enjoy writing this.
Oh, and to address some things:
To all you saying I'm writing well, thank you. Like I said I'm surprised (And kind of scared) at how well I'm making Bobby out to be a douchebag.
To Purvis, to be honest, I was kinda basing Bobby on Brucie--like when I'm writing, I sort of hear Brucie saying all the dialogue.
To Rou, I was absurdly proud of that line, for some reason.
To MJP, I love you forever~<3
To Slowpoke, I'm honored that someone tried to audiobook this.
To Mima fans everywhere, Mima's cool I guess.
-
To Mima fans everywhere, Mima's cool I guess.
I just do that to troll the insane Mima fans. No offense intended.
:'( <3
Also can't wait to see what happens to this ALPHA next
-
There's a problem with the ghost tail version of Mima. She has no feet at which to grovel.
(http://i727.photobucket.com/albums/ww271/EXslowbro/touhou%20art/yange-.png)
-
I have no opinion of Mima whatsoever. But then there are a lot of characters I need to read up on, like Komachi, Shikieiki, et cetera.
-
I'll say this.
I'll ignore Mima completely until she ACTUALLY comes back in an official Touhou game. Then I'll recognize her again.
-
Enough about Mima! Have at you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Douchebag in Gensokyo
Chapter 2
So when I woke up I found that I was alone. Witch bitch had already left and I was hungry so I raided her kitchen and found mushrooms, like shitloads of mushrooms, so I grabbed some and I hoped they were like shrooms so I could forget all of the shit that had happened yesterday. But they weren?t, they were just regular mushrooms, and I suppose they tasted alright I guess. I don?t usually like mushrooms but these were OK. So I took some of them and I decided to get going to this village and maybe find some chick who needed her pussy rocked and would let me stay with her until I figured out how to get back home.
So I wandered down this path for a while. Along the way I come across this little girl, in some blue and white dress. She?s playing with a frog on the side of the road, so I just ignore her and keep walking. All of a sudden I hear someone yell ?Hey, you!?
So I turn around and that little girl is yelling at me, ?You can?t come here! This is my road! I?m the strongest!? And then she throws something at me, and it hits me in the chest, and it hurts. I bend over to pick it up and what the fuck, it?s like a frog encased in ice. So I yell at her ?Hey, fuck you kid!? and I throw it back at her. Now, I?m ALPHA so I can throw pretty hard. And it hits her right in the head, and she falls down. Now, I don?t feel bad because the bitch had it coming, no one throws shit at me, but then she starts crying and I start thinking ?Oh shit maybe I really hurt her? but then she gets up and yells ?You?re a douchebag!? and she runs off into the forest. Whatever.
I keep walking down the path and eventually I get to the village. And it?s like, a middle ages village or some shit, I keep expecting King Arthur to pop up and slay a dragon, ha. Then I notice all the people look Japanese or something, they?re wearing those robe things and shit. So I?m thinking ?Oh, shit, better not piss of the dudes, they might be ninjas?. But I decide that I need a place to stay, long term, so I start doing my thing again, because the dudes in the village, they look tough but I know that they ain?t shit compared to an ALPHA like me, and I know the ladies just want a real man?s cock, so I figure this?ll be easy.
So I walk up to this chick, just some random townschick. ??sup?? I don?t even get another word out when the bitch just laughs in my face and says ?No way!? So I say, ?Well, fine, bitch, go fuck one of these faggots tiny cocks, you don?t know what you?re missing.? But then I feel a hand come down on my shoulder and someone turns me around and I see it?s this big dude with, like, some faggoty ponytail and a goatee, and he says to me. ?Watch your mouth around my wife, douchebag.? So I tell him to get fucked and he just straight up smokes me right in the face. Now I?m on the ground, and I?m about to get up and fuck him up when he just walks away with his bitch wife. Fucking pussy. I could?ve totally fucked him up, too.
But the pussy (Both of them) just walked away and I get up. So I wander around some more, and I?m thinking that this place is really old looking, like all the buildings are made out of wood and shit. But then I realize I?m getting hungry, and I already ate all my shrooms, so I ask some random person on the street where I could get some food. He points me to some restaurant across town, so I start walking to it. Then I see two people that look really out of place?some chick that looked like a maid that had gray hair, and she was holding an umbrella over this pale little girl that had some gay looking pink dress on. I mean, they looked weird but they also looked real rich, you know what I mean? So I decide to try my luck with them.
They ended up going to the same restaurant I was going to, so I just followed them in. They sat at a booth so I grabbed a booth nearby. I figured I could do my thing and maybe find a place to crash for a while, maybe fuck the maid because she was kinda hot even though her tits looked padded or something. I decided to try my luck on the maid first, because she had gotten up to place an order. So I walk up to her and say, ?Sup, good lookin?, you going to get some food?? And without looking up she says, ?Go away.?
I?m not a person who backs down easy. I?m ALPHA. I?m a superior being, how would it look if I ran away after every setback? Like that one dude said, ?Fall down seven times, get up eight? or some shit. So I try again, ?Hey, baby, don?t be like that, I?m just trying to get to know you.? And the maid just comes back with ?I?m not kidding. Go away.?
Then, all of a sudden, the little kid she came in with says, ?Oh, Sakuya, don?t be so nasty. Invite your little friend over, and we?ll have a nice chat.? So right now I?m thinking ?Score, I?m gonna fuck this chick or stay in like a mansion or something, or both.? So the maid sort of sighs (Because, like I said earlier, bitches are afraid of my power, so they don?t know how to cope with it) and says ?Fine, come with me, but don?t touch me.? So we both go back to the booth, and the maid sits next to the kid and I sit across from them. The kid says, ?I?m Remilia Scarlet, mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. This is my maid and trusted friend, Sakuya. Who are you??
And I?m sort of surprised by this, I mean, this little kid talking like some queen or some shit. So I say, ?I?m Bobby.? The kid nods her head and says, ?Pleasure to meet you, Bobby.? So now I?m thinking, ?Dang, I could fuck both these bitches.? I mean, the kid?s like a kid, but she seems older than she looks, and you know, I don?t really care anyway. I?ve fucked fifteen year olds that looked eighteen, and it doesn?t bother me. So I figure I could at least get a place to stay for the night and maybe have some double action, like a threesome at the same time. Oh, man that would be totally killer.
So I start doing my thing to both of them, like flexing the guns and shit, and I say, ?Listen, I just got here, and I need a place to stay, and you two pretty ladies need a real man to keep you warm at night, know what I?m saying?? The kid sorta blinks and says, ?Uh, just what are you getting at?? And I say, ?I?m saying that if you let me stay at your place for a while, I?ll show you what a real man could do to your pussy.? And the kid sorta throws up her hands and says, ?Woah, woah, I did not just hear that.? And I go, ?Yeah, baby, you did, I know I look mean but I?m really a sweet guy, you just gotta get to know me, and what better way of doing that than a nice fuck?? Suddenly, the maid stands up and says, ?Ok, you have to leave. Now.? And I get up, and I?m getting pissed off. So I say, ?Fine, then, fuck you anyway, you don?t know what you?re fucking missing!? And she grabs my collar. The maid is stronger than she looks because she starts shoving me towards the door. When we get outside she says, ?Look, just get out of here before I cut off your balls and feed them to you.? And I?m getting really pissed now and I say, ?Fine, I didn?t want to fuck your anorexic ass anyway, with your padded fucking tits.?
But this bitch moves faster than light or something, because all of a sudden I?m up against the wall and there?s a knife pressed against my throat, and the bitch maid is saying ?Don?t you ever?ever?say that again!? And I?m like ?Woah.? Then she stabs the knife into the wall next to my head and says, ?If I see you again, I?ll gut you like a fucking fish.?
So right now I?m pretty dazed. I sort of slump to the ground and I think I pass out. The last thing I see is some blurry woman with a stupid hat on her head, saying ?Oh, you poor man.?
Then I passed out.
------------------------------------------------------------------
I've decided not to do it in chronological order, it's just easier for me if I introduce characters at realistic junctions. Hey, guess who shows up in the next chapter!!!
-
There's a problem with the ghost tail version of Mima. She has no feet at which to grovel.
(http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/3600/mimaat.jpg)
-
Apo
fucen
you're doing more right
-
Apo, you are a genius, but this part:
So I start doing my thing to both of them, like flexing the guns and shit, and I say, ?Listen, I just got here, and I need a place to stay, and you two pretty ladies need a real man to keep you warm at night, know what I?m saying?? The kid sorta blinks and says, ?Uh, just what are you getting at?? And I say, ?I?m saying that if you let me stay at your place for a while, I?ll show you what a real man could do to your pussy.? And the kid sorta throws up her hands and says, ?Woah, woah, I did not just hear that.?
This still has me laughing.
-
Beauty in words
Oh my word, don't you dare stop~!
Another great read. Felt bad for Cirno for a little bit, but s'all good in da hood.
-
Almost as good as chapter one.
I say "almost" because chapter 2 lacked a great simile for me to steal.
-
I liked this part, still makes me laugh
?Oh, shit, better not piss of the dudes, they might be ninjas?
EDIT: There should be a chapter that's "ALPHA vs MANnosuke"
-
a threesome at the same time
hahaha
-
I knew there was a reason Remilia and Sakuya were my second and third favorite characters, respectively. XD
Keep it up!
-
Oh my god, I am loving this sooooo much.
-
(http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/3600/mimaat.jpg)
Cute pink shoes~
-
I thought I'd ask Apotheosis if he'd be interested in having DiG posted in Pooshlmer's General Fiction Thread. I think it'd be pretty nice to expose such a funny story to more people~
-
Apo
fucen
you're doing more right
oh, yes. I plan on following the rules letty laid out in the challenge, I'm just doing it in chapters because otherwise it's too much to quickly, you know?
Almost as good as chapter one.
I say "almost" because chapter 2 lacked a great simile for me to steal.
similies sort of just happen with me, but I'll try to include more in the future
EDIT: There should be a chapter that's "ALPHA vs MANnosuke"
BRILLIANT
I thought I'd ask Apotheosis if he'd be interested in having DiG posted in Pooshlmer's General Fiction Thread. I think it'd be pretty nice to expose such a funny story to more people~
sure, why not?
Right, so Ch3 will be tomorrow at some time, depends on how I feel/when I wake up. Pretty sure I'll follow this schedule until I finish, this is actually pretty easy to do.
-
Eagerly awaiting Unzan.
Also, Bobby totally owned Sakuya, challenge broken =[
-
Fuck I laughed so hard at certain parts.
The chick looks me over, and she says ?Ok, ze, why not?? So she lets me in and I say, ?Yo, what?s with the ?ze? thing?? And she says ?What ?ze thing?, ze?? And I?m smart, so I go, ?Never mind.?
This cracked me up real good as well.
Reading part II now.
Edit: I died partly while reading part II
ENCORE, ENCORE, PART III
ps, I bet the person at the end is Keine. Or I hope so, because it is going to be fun , especially if there is a full moon out.
-
:'( <3
Also can't wait to see what happens to this ALPHA next
what the shit I have a clone
-
what the shit I have a clone
there can only be one
-
what the shit I have a clone
It happens to us all eventually~
/me looks at Ruro, Xan et all.
-
there can only be one
YOU MUST FIGHT
IN THE THUNDERDOME
TWO MIMA ENTER. ONE MIMA LEAVE.
-
Unprecedented serious affair detected.
Btw Apo,
I really like how you bring alive your douchebag character. I seriously do. Makes me wonder where you draw your inspiration source from. Expirience? Opposite or personal reflection? Please enlighten us.
-
YOU MUST FIGHT
IN THE THUNDERDOME
TWO MIMA ENTER. ONE MIMA LEAVE.
What about Master Blaster Mima?
I really like how you bring alive your douchebag character. I seriously do. Makes me wonder where you draw your inspiration source from. Expirience? Opposite or personal reflection? Please enlighten us.
To Purvis, to be honest, I was kinda basing Bobby on Brucie--like when I'm writing, I sort of hear Brucie saying all the dialogue.
Brucie Kibbitz is from GTA4. He's extremely hilarious, and like a somewhat more sedate version of Bobby. He's also terribly fun to push into traffic. And yes, it's really hard not to hear the lines in Brucie's voice.
-
I always thought of Bobby as an asshole Johnny Bravo
-
It happens to us all eventually~
/me looks at Ruro, Xan et all.
Don't worry, my clone managed to find someone better to clone.
/me glances at Anathe
-
Poor Wrathie.
-
I only need one of me. A clone would just be redundant. Besides, I think I give you folks enough headaches by existing. :V
-
Brucie Kibbitz is from GTA4. He's extremely hilarious, and like a somewhat more sedate version of Bobby. He's also terribly fun to push into traffic. And yes, it's really hard not to hear the lines in Brucie's voice.
I never played GTA4 so there goes my knowledge :V
Neverless, we are waiting for part 3 and ofcourse eventually a conclusion. ( I wonder if he ends up at Shiki Eiki at the end and still get laughed and made fun off. )
-
He ends up with Rin
-
the ending will be a secret until it's not, but I think it'll wrap up the story quite nicely. Bobby is based on Brucie, but also on all the popular accounts of douchebags I've heard, plus personal experiences in high school and college.
-
the ending will be a secret until it's not, but I think it'll wrap up the story quite nicely. Bobby is based on Brucie, but also on all the popular accounts of douchebags I've heard, plus personal experiences in high school and college.
Oh god that's why Bobby seemed so familiar.
God I love you for this.
-
Just read Apo's little short. and all i can say is yes, Very Yes
-
No new chapter tonight, guys. I didn't get any sleep last night and I just can't focus. Sorry. :(
Check back tomorrow.
-
Please continue this for as long as you can, because it's totally awesome.
Also, shouldn't this story get it's own (maybe stickied) thread? It would be a lot easier to follow especially if it's going to get a lot more chapters.
-
Edited for low blows
No new chapter tonight, guys. I didn't get any sleep last night and I just can't focus. Sorry. :(
Check back tomorrow.
Sleep well, sunshine =]
-
NEXT CHAPTER T-MINUS 1:00:00 AND COUNTING...
MARK
e: i lied
-
Godamnit
Pesco Apo
-
hey, I'm only an hour off! < >:(>
----------------------------------------------------------------
Douchebag in Gensokyo
Chapter 3
I woke up in a room, on some thin mattress on the floor, not a real bed. I took a second to try and sort through all the shit that had been dropped on me; I got zapped from my world to another, all Japanesey one, tried to score with four or five different bitches, struck out with all of them (Seriously, what the fuck is up with that?) and then that last cunt had a knife to my throat?then I passed out.
So I thought to myself, ?This is bullshit?. I mean, all I wanted to do on Tuesday was get drunk with one of my bros, not?not this shit. So I was feeling pretty down when I decided to get off the floor.
So I got up off the floor and looked around. It looked like someone?s bedroom, but there wasn?t a lot of furniture, like there was a dresser against one wall and a desk against another, but that?s about it. My ball cap was on the desk (UW-Madison Badgers YEAH GO BUCKY YEAH) so I grabbed it and put it back on my head, making sure to tilt it just the way I like it (?cause it lets people know they?re dealing with an ALPHA, if they didn?t know already).
At about that time, this woman came through the door and said something like ?Oh, good, you?re up. I was getting worried, you were out for a day or so.? She had on a blue and white dress and that same stupid hat I saw earlier. She also had, like, bluish-gray hair with streaks of blue in it, I don?t know for sure, but it looked stupid as fuck. She walked in the room and put a bowl of something on the desk. Then she said, ?I guess it was the stress of the situation, plus the way that maid was treating you.? Then she shook her head and said, ?Honestly. You?d think that she?d have better manners, being a maid??
I gave her a look over and I decided, yeah, she?s pretty hot. A little older than me, but she had that ?mom? thing going for her, plus her tits were nice. So she turned around from the desk and said, ?Speaking of manners, where are mine? I?m Keine Kamishirasawa. I?m sort of...I guess you could say I?m the protector of this villiage.? Then she smiled and said ?I?m also the person who helps newcomers adapt to their new lives in Gensokyo.? So I said, ?Gensokyo? What?s that?? And she said, ?It?s where you are right now. How it came to be is a rather long and convoluted story, and I doubt you?re in any condition to hear it.? She gestured to the bowl on the desk. ?Here, I made you some more oatmeal. Eat up, you need something in your stomach.?
Now, I don?t really like oatmeal all that much. My mom, she used to force feed that shit to me when I was a kid, and she sucked at making it, so it was all hard and lumpy and shit. But I was hungry, so I scarfed it down anyway. I mean, fuck, any port in a storm, right?
And while I was doing this, the chick started tidying up the place, and I?m sitting here thinking, ?Finally, a bitch that knows her place.? I mean, I?m all for chicks getting jobs and educations and shit, I just want them to do what they?re supposed to, you know?
Anyway, she finishes cleaning up and I finish my oatmeal, and she walks over and says ?I should show you around the village.? And I?m thinking, ?No thanks, I saw enough of the village, I just wanna get the fuck out of here.? But then I realize that this could be my chance to get some pussy, ?cause she seems really into me, making me food and shit. At least, she isn?t treating me like the other bitches I?ve met so far. So I agree to wander around the village with her.
So we head out, and we start seeing the sights. Like, the farms, the market, all that shit. We start talking and she tells me she?s like the schoolteacher or something. And I start thinking, ?Yeah, whatever, I don?t care.? Because seriously, I don?t care at all about what she does, I want one of two things, or both if I can swing it, I want to get back to Madison and I want her to fuck me, that?s all I care about. Then she says, ?You?re lucky you made it at all. The forest is really dangerous, what with all the youkai about.? So I ask her, ?What?s a youkai?? And she says, ?They?re monsters. Some of them look like people, but they?re far more powerful than any regular human. But they don?t mess with us if we don?t mess with them.? And I?m thinking, ?Shit, youkai don?t sound like shit, I could probably take them on, I?m ALPHA, after all?. But we finish our tour and we go back to her place.
When we get back, I ask her, ?So how long can I stay here?? And she says, ?As long as you need to get yourself settled here.? And I think to myself, ?Cool, I finally found a place to crash until I can get back to Madison.?
A little bit later, I?m sitting at the desk, eating dinner when I start thinking, ?You know, this woman?s been so nice to me, taking me in and feeding me and shit, maybe I should repay her. But I don?t have any money on me, at least, nothing that could be used here. There must be a better way?? So I spend a bit thinking of a way to pay her back, ?cause I usually pay back my debts.
So, a little bit after that, I wander out into the classroom section of the house. Keine is there, grading papers or something, and I walk up to her. She looks up and says, ?What is it, Bobby?? And I say, ?Look, you?ve done a lot for me, and I just wanted to thank you?? Then she says, ?Oh, it?s no trouble at all?? But here I interrupt her. ?No, I really mean it??
And here?s where my plan goes into action. You see, I need to thank her, because I really am grateful she took me in. I also need to get laid, because it would be really good for me to get laid. It would focus me and shit.
So I whip off my shirt, showing of my pecs and the guns, and I say to her, ?I figure the best way to thank you would be to give you the privilege of getting fucked by an ALPHA?. And she stammers, ?Wh?wha, what? You mean you?what? I don?t think?? I interrupt her again and say, ?Listen, baby, this is a once in a lifetime offer. I?m the greatest man you?ll ever meet. The queers who live in this village, they?re nothing compared to me.? And then she goes, ?Whoa, wait a minute?? And I go, ?Aww, c?mon, baby, you don?t know what you?re missing.? And I start flexing the guns to show her how ALPHA my body is.
So she grabs me by the arm and I think for a second, ?Aww, yeah.? But then I notice she?s pushing me towards the door. While she?s doing that, she says, ?Listen, while it?s?sweet of you to offer?I just don?t want to sleep with you.? When she pushes me outside she tosses me my shirt and says, ?You can?t stay here anymore. Nothing against you, but?you?re?? And I?m thinking, ?Yeah, I?m too man for her, too ALPHA, sometime I hate being so awesome!? Then she says, ??creepy. But I think I know a place where you can stay. My friend lives in the bamboo forest about a mile from here, she can take you there.? And I say, ?Wait, you want me to wander around the forest at night? What about these youkai you were talking about?? Then she says, ?Oh, they?re no match for you! Now, run along! Bye!?
She closed the door in my face. I put on my shirt, and wander off in the direction of the bamboo forest, hoping I don?t get eaten by one of those fucking youkai things.
---
NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY1APSk0SS0
-
Bobby had a more sentimental attitude in this chapter. And Keine was TOO NICE for him ( typically Keine ). Bobby is just lucky it aint full moon and shit.
Waiting for Bobby to hit lost bamboo forest hitting up with Reisen, Tewi, Mokou. WWWWWWWWWWW.
-
Bobby had a more sentimental attitude in this chapter. And Keine was TOO NICE for him ( typically Keine ). Bobby is just lucky it aint full moon and shit.
Waiting for Bobby to hit lost bamboo forest hitting up with Reisen, Tewi, Mokou. WWWWWWWWWWW.
/me shrugs
eh, call it character development :) And I've always thought Keine would be the nicest and most understanding of all the TH characters.
-
And I've always thought Keine would be the nicest and most understanding of all the TH characters.
I AM PLEASED.
-
Just because he didn't meet Ex-Keine now doesn't mean he can't meet her later. Hell, throw in Lily White and Lily Black.
-
/me shrugs
eh, call it character development :) And I've always thought Keine would be the nicest and most understanding of all the TH characters.
It is true, Keine is the nicest and modest person in Gensokyo. ZUN only says you should be respectful to her and not visit her during full moon night ( hence why I said bobby is lucky :V )
-
Hahahahaha
Bobby gonna get burn'd
-
Hahahahaha
Bobby gonna get burn'd
no, son.
Bobby gonna get Tewi'd.
-
Haha, that was great. Also, as noted in IRC:
(09:57:32 AM) UncertainKitten: Haha, this sounds like anyone who thinks Touhou is a game for little girls: "So I ask her, ?What?s a youkai?? And she says, ?They?re monsters. Some of them look like people, but they?re far more powerful than any regular human. But they don?t mess with us if we don?t mess with them.? And I?m thinking, ?Shit, youkai don?t sound like shit, I could probably take them on, I?m ALPHA, after all?. But we finish our tour and we go back to her place."
-
How has this topic not had a name change yet? :S
OH HAI
-
no, son.
Bobby gonna get Tewi'd.
Oh man. Can she really steal the socks of an ALPHA?
-
How has this topic not had a name change yet? :S
It would if I still had IM :P.
-
Jesus Christ I want to kill Videogamer. He decided to jump in #shrinemaiden a half an hour ago while I was away and just did line spam.
Seriously, real mature fucks :|
-
He was also complaining about mirc and how "you have to pay"(lolno, it's like winzip) beforehand.
-
I didn't find this one as funny as the others, probably because I spent the last hour reading MLIA
-
I didn't find this one as funny as the others, probably because I spent the last hour reading MLIA
I accept this, MILA is funny as heck
also no new chapter tonight :(
I'm lying
-
here's the new chapter, guys...and it has a special guest!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Douchebag in Gensokyo
Chapter 4
So after that bitch kicked me out, I wandered around town for a while. It was dark, and after what she said about youkai, I didn?t want to wander around the forest at night. So I just slept on the street.
And I thought to myself, ?This is bullshit?, I mean all I wanted to do was thank her for being so nice, I wanted to do something good and she had to get all ?oh nooooo a real man? and kick me out. Like I said, bitches are afraid of an ALPHA.
I was woken up by some kid kicking at me. I told him to fuck off and he ran away, then I got up and wandered to where the bamboo forest was. I figured I would give that friend of hers a try, maybe find a place I could crash.
I hate to say it, but at the time I was feeling a little hopeless. I had forgotten how many times I had struck out since coming here, and I was starting to think that maybe I was doing something wrong. Then a little voice in my head said, ?No, bro, it?s not you, it?s them, they?re bitches, they?re afraid of ALPHA men like you, what you should do is go fuck up one of these fairies, then they?ll see how ALPHA you are? and I said to myself ?That?s not a half-bad idea, voice in my head?.
So I wandered a bit more, trying to find someone to fuck up, but like I said, these dudes looked like ninjas, so I couldn?t mess with them. I mean, I could?ve kicked their asses, but I wanted a crushing victory against faggotry everywhere, not a fight that would actually be difficult.
I found a store on the edge of town, a sign above the door said ?Kourindou?. I was getting tired from walking around so much, so I decided to take a breather inside. When I walked inside, I found the place was crammed with so much shit?but, more than that, it was shit from home! I was like, ?fuuuuuuuck? because I didn?t expect to see iPods and girlie mags and an honest-to-god refrigerator ever again.
So as I was looking around the store, who do I see come in but the witch bitch from the other night! I was still pretty pissed ?cause of the way that cunt treated me, so I decided to confront her.
So I walk up to her and go, ?Well, look who it fuckin? is, that uppity bitch from the other night!? And she goes, ?Who the hell?oh. It?s you, ze.? And I go, ?Yeah, it?s me, bitch. You fucked me over back then, and now I?m here to repay the fuckin? favor.? I was getting really pissed now, thinking about how this bitch disrespected me, and I was starting to think that I could just beat this bitch up and call it a day, ?cause that would prove I?m ALPHA just fine.
Then, all of a sudden, I hear this voice behind me. ?Is there a problem, Marisa?? I wheel around and I see this dude. He was dressed in some sort of black-and-blue get up, with glasses, and he had some sort of brown leather satchel with him. He looked like a total faggot, so I said to him, ?Hey, stay out of this, faggot, unless you wanna get fucked up, right??
And, just so you know, I wasn?t afraid of this dude. Just some pencil-thin cocksucker with glasses, who runs a shitty store. I?m ALPHA, I ain?t afraid of a faggot like him. If I was, what kind of an ALPHA would I be?
But I swear to god, this guy just gives me?like, this totally evil ?fuck-off? stare, like he was a second away from fucking me up. I mean, that wouldn?t have happened, but?there was like this chill in the air when he gave me that look. And when he stared at me like that, all I could do was sort of stammer out, ?Uh, l-listen, dude, I don?t want any trouble?? And then this faggot says, ?I suggest you leave my store at once. Before anything bad happens.? And all I could do was run my ass out of there.
So, after being humiliated once again, I made my way to this bamboo forest I was supposed to be going to in the first place. It was nearly dark, and after a while of stumbling around, I found this little shack. I figured that it was Keine?s friend?s place, so I walked up and knocked on the door. I was greeted by this chick with grey hair. She looked kinda pale. I said, ?Yo, a friend of yours?? Then she interrupted me. ?Yeah. Keine already told me about you.?
Then, quick as anything, she grabs me by the collar and shoves me against a wall. Then she made some fire in her hand, like no shit, fire just magically appeared in her fucking hand, and she says to me?well, it was more like growls at me, ?Listen, you little shit, if I ever hear of you disrespecting Keine again, I?ll turn you into a fucking rotisserie douchebag. Serve you up to the youkai with a of parsley. They?d like that.?
Then the bitch let me go, and I sort of slumped to the ground. I was about to get up and knock her bitch ass out when she pointed to a mattress on the ground. ?You sleep there tonight. We move out to Eientei in the morning, bright and early. The sooner I can dump you on her royal cuntiness the better.? Then she bent down and got real close to my face and said, ?Keine told me all about you, mister ALPHA man. If you think you have a shot with me, forget it. If you try to hit on me, I?ll turn you into so much fucking ash, got it??
No kidding, I was actually intimidated by this bitch. So all I did was nod my head. Then she nodded her head and said, ?Good. Get to sleep, douchebag. We leave in the morning.? She then wandered off into another room. So, not knowing what else to do, I curled up on the thin-ass mattress and went to sleep, hoping I didn?t wake up as a roast.
-
I think we can all take something from this.
Mokou is the true ALPHA of Gensokyo.
-
Into the Bamboo Forest ... so much potential ... Tewi, Reisen, Eirin, all before Kaguya.
But god damn does Mokou have a foul mouth. As to be expected.
-
Fuck yeah, Mokou.
-
Mokou has just increased in appeal for me ^-^
-
What would Tewi do to him?
:3 :3 :3 :3 :3
-
What would Tewi do to him?
:3 :3 :3 :3 :3
The question is "What won't Tewi do to him?"
-
What would Tewi do to him?
:3 :3 :3 :3 :3
Probably let him get as far as hit pants off and his...um...thing in her mouth before she bites it off and feeds it to him.
-
The question is "What won't Tewi do to him?"
Have any romantic or even sexual interest in him at all.
-
I have always found Mokou very sexy.
e: She's definitely replaced Hong on my "list".
-
Frost ball Letty wants to play with fire.
-
Frost ball Letty wants to play with fire.
Damn right I do. It'd be pretty hot.
-
Damn right I do. It'd be pretty hot.
http://www.instantrimshot.com/
-
Mokou has just increased in appeal for me ^-^
+1
<3
-
Mokou's appeal increased after I read her column in Ask Yuyuko.
-
Mokou's appeal increased after I read her column in Ask Yuyuko.
Funnily enough, Yuyuko's appeal recently increased for me. But for no particular reason.
OK, maybe there was at least one reason (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aqqy-NHlHmI).
-
Needs moar uncensored version
-
Chen has replaced Yuyuko. :(
-
@ Apo, oh yea. You did that nicely with Mokou. And lol for Rinnosuke instilling fear in him. This is slowly getting better again =D.
(http://i35.tinypic.com/33nux38.jpg)
-
@ Apo, oh yea. You did that nicely with Mokou. And lol for Rinnosuke instilling fear in him. This is slowly getting better again =D.
(http://i35.tinypic.com/33nux38.jpg)
BUTT
also, i eagerly await Tewi's part in the story. do not disappoint me, Apo.
-
Yeah. I fully expect Tewi to be a Molotov cocktease.
-
hey guys no new chapter tonight, sorry!!! :(
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Douchebag in Gensokyo
Chapter 5
Just as she promised, the sun was barely peeking out over the mountains when Fire Bitch kicked me awake. ?Get up, douchebag. We?re moving.? So I said to myself, ?Don?t worry bro, you only have to put up with her shit for a little while longer and then you can get rid of her.?
I wasn?t even completely woken up when we left. So, I tried asking her why we had to leave so early?and she said ?So I can foist you on Princess No-Tits and get back to my daily life.? So I started wondering, you know, what did I do to deserve this treatment? Why was this bitch disrespecting me, even though I didn?t do anything? I said that, too.
It was probably a bad idea because she once again had me by the collar. ?Because you?re a misogynistic, egotistical, annoying little prick who likes to run his mouth and then wonders why he just got the shit kicked out of him. You?re scum. You?re less than scum. You?re so low on the scale they haven?t made up words for what you are, yet.? Then she let go of me, turned around, and continued walking towards Eientei. ?Now, shut up and keep walking, douchebag.?
Our walk continued in silence. Finally, after what seemed like a few hours of walking around in a dense forest, we reached a path cut out of the bamboo. Fire Bitch turned around and motioned down the path. ?Almost there, douchebag. Can you make it, or do I have to carry you?? I thought to myself, ?You can carry my cock in your ass, bitch? but this time I didn?t say it.
After a bit more walking, we reached a gate. It opened up, and standing in front of us was a gray-haired woman in a red and blue dress with these weird symbols on it and a hat to match. She looked like a nurse. Behind her were a horde of what looked like little girls with big, floppy rabbit ears on their heads.
The nurse walked towards us and said ?Mokou.? I guess that was the Fire Bitch?s name, ?cause she replied, ?Yeah. Where?s the whore? Still sleeping?? The nurse lady looked mad, but she tried to hide it. ?You mean the princess, of course.? Mokou shrugged and said, ?Yeah, Princess Whore, whatever. When she hauls her ass outta bed, tell her she?s got a new tenant. You?ll like him.?
And, I dunno, but for a moment I almost started to like Mokou. I kinda admired how she didn?t take shit from nobody. Mokou turned around, clapped me on the shoulder and said ?It?s been real, douchebag. Catch you later.? Then she walked off.
Then the nurse lady started to talk to me. ?Welcome to Eientei, traveler. You don?t look injured, so I presume you?re another outsider brought to our world, correct?? And I sort of nodded my head and said, ?Uh, y-yeah, I?m looking for a place to crash.? The nurse lady smiled and said, ?Well, you?ll find accommodations here, so long as you agree to help out around the mansion a bit.?
I was fine with helping out, so long as it was helping nurse lady out of her clothes and into my bed. Seriously, the bitch was fine, a little on the old side but, you know, I don?t discriminate.
While I was checking her out, nurse lady kept prattling on. ?In exchange for your assistance, we are willing to provide you with room and board, until you can get back to your world or secure permanent residence in the human village.? She motioned towards another rabbit. ?Reisen will take you to your room.?
Apparently I had hit the jackpot, because this bitch was as fine as the nurse lady. She was taller than the other rabbits and had long hair and red eyes. She was also way younger than the nurse lady, and was wearing something that looked like a school uniform. She had rabbit ears, too, but hers were thin and crooked-looking, not floppy like the other ones. She walked over to me and said, ?Follow me, I?ll take you to your room.?
So, as she led me to my room, we chatted a bit. ?I?m Reisen.? I replied with, ?Cool, I?m Bobby.? Then she said, ?Are you planning on staying long, Bobby?? And I said, ?As long as it takes for me to get out of here and back home.? When we got to my room, Reisen opened the door and said, ?Here?s your room. Dinner is at 7:00, and we ask that you get to bed around midnight or so, especially if you plan on partaking in anything we have planned. If you have problems, call for either me or Eirin?she was the lady who you were talking to earlier. Not the other rabbits, they?re a bit?flakey.?
I stepped into my room. It was pretty boring, just a desk and a bed for furniture. But at least it was better than sleeping in the street, or at the Fire Bitch?s place. Then I realized: I had a hot chick in my room. I couldn?t let this opportunity go to waste.
Reisen turned to leave. When I said, ?Hey, wait!? she stopped and turned around. ?Yes?? I leaned on the desk. Reisen was standing in the doorway. I flexed the guns and said, ?So, baby, you ever been with a man before?? She blushed and said, ?Uh, wh-what are you talking about?? I walked over to her. ?I mean a real man. An ALPHA, like me. I could do things to you that you couldn?t imagine.? Reisen was blushing harder, now and shaking slightly. I almost had her. I got even closer to her. She stammered out, ?I?I?ve never been with a man??
I got even closer. I was standing right in front of her. I pushed her against the wall. ?You want to be with a real man tonight, baby??
Then things rapidly declined. All of a sudden, the bitch kneed me in the balls and pushed me away. She yelled, ?Get?get away from me, you pervert!? and ran out the door, closing it as she left.
Struck out again. I cupped my poor, poor balls in my hands and collapsed on the bed. I spent the rest of the night laying there.
-
When Reisen gets you like that, you know something is wrong.
-
What a horrible night for
a curse lunar-madness induced insanity effects.
-
I still love Mokou.
-
"Fire-Bitch"
That is how I am going to call her now when I am doing IN Extra.
-
I love Kaguya, but "Princess No-Tits" made me chuckle.
-
I expected anal from Reisen :/
-
Reisen used the dreaded "RAPE ALERT!" Attack.
-
When Reisen gets you like that, you know something is wrong.
I expected anal from Reisen :/
I'm sure things will get interesting very soon.
-
ok it's official, Bobby is Super Macho Man from punchout, this is true, no matter what anyone says mostly because they both have the same sized ego, and it's impossible to have the same size of ego as super macho man without being super macho man
-
(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc110/Cadmas/punchout-macho1.gif)
Release the Bogus!
-
new chapter will be up tomorrow night
I can tell you that tewi will be making an appearance
-
new chapter will be up tomorrow night
I can tell you that tewi will be making an appearance
POST
-
Can't wait to see if he makes it to Chireiden :V
-
I also have a question for y'all
the way the story is going in my head moves away from the "2 characters from every windows TH game" condition of the challenge. in fact, the way I have it planned, the story will end in three or four chapters or so. is it OK with you guys if I follow the plotline in my head or do you want me to stay true to the challenge?
-
i don't think it matters at this point, so go ahed.
-
i don't think it matters at this point, so go ahed.
-
okey doke, so I'll update later tonight.
oh and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tqEBQjWRws
-
Chapter six, everyone.
---------------------------------------------------
Douchebag in Gensokyo
Chapter 6
So when I woke up, my balls didn?t hurt anymore. I still couldn?t believe bunny bitch had done that shit to me, all I was trying to do was show her a good time. If she was a lesbo, all the cunt had to do was tell me and I would?ve stopped, really. You could tell the bitch wanted it, but like I said, bitches are afraid of an ALPHA.
So I got out of the bed?and opened the door?and walked onto a shit load of tacks, barefoot. I started hopping around, holding my foot in pain, and I saw this rabbit with long-ish brown hair laughing. I yelled at her, ?WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS? and she ran off, still laughing. I pulled a few tacks out of my foot and ran after her.
I heard her yell, ?Ha, you can?t catch me douchebag!? and I yelled back ?Oh I?ll catch you motherfucker and then I?ll turn you into a hat!? Then I tripped over something, and I fell down and knocked my head on the ground. The little rabbit kept running and I lost her.
I sat up and started rubbing my aching head. I had tripped over a banana peel, no shit, like a bad cartoon. Then I heard a voice say, ?I see you?ve met Tewi.? It was the nurse lady from the other night. ?You?re not hurt, are you??
I shook my head and said, ?No, I?m not hurt.? Then a thought passed through my head, ?Oh shit, what if that bitch told the nurse lady what had happened last night?? So I asked, ?So, uh, have you seen Reisen?? She got a quizzical look and said, ?No, I haven?t seen her all day. Why?? And I said, ?No reason, just asking.? The nurse lady shrugged and said, ?Anyway, you missed breakfast, but lunch is in another hour or so. Meanwhile, the princess wants to speak to you.?
I got up and walked with the nurse lady. I had heard about the princess, fire bitch had talked about her a little, and I thought there was a bit of a rivalry between them, but I hadn?t seen her since I arrived.
Nurse lady led me to a room near the courtyard. She opened the door and I walked inside. The room was really dark, and there was an open space near the back of the room that opened up to one of those zen garden thingies with all the rocks and shit and sand and shit in it. Sitting in the middle of the room on a pillow was a small woman with really long hair. I thought she was really old when she looked up and said, ?Come in, traveler, come in.?
So I walked in. Then the woman said, ?You can go now, Eirin.? Nurse lady left and closed the door behind her. The woman motioned for me to sit down, and I did, sitting on a cushion. Now I could get a better look at the princess. She was kinda thin and pale, and I could also see why fire bitch called her ?Princess No-tits? earlier?she didn?t have any tits. Yeah, I know I had more important things to worry about than a chick?s tits, but hey I have needs and you can?t cage a raging bull, ha. She was dressed in a pink shirt and dark red-ish skirt. I also noticed some stuff was floating around her, like a twig with colored balls on it, a small robe, a stone bowl, stuff like that.
She was quiet for a while. Then she said, ?I am Kaguya Houraisan. It?s so nice to meet someone new, especially one from the other world. For too long I haven?t had the company of an outsider. Tell me, who are you?? And I said, ?I?m Bobby.? And then she said, ?Tell me of yourself, Bobby.? And I sort of shrugged and described where I came from. I said that I was ALPHA, that I was a superior being when compared to the people around me, and that most people didn?t seem to respect that or were even afraid of it.
When I finished, Kaguya chuckled and said, ?So, you are the man who would be king, would the people you lead respect that.? And I sort of nodded and said, ?Yeah, something like that.? I mean, I didn?t really understand what she was talking about, but I guess she was right in, like, a metaphorical way or something.
Then she said, ?We are not so different, you and I.? And I said, ?Oh, yeah?? And she said, ?Yes. We are both dispossessed royalty. Myself because I broke an ancient law, you because?well, in your case, you have cruel fate to blame. I was princess of a vast and mighty kingdom, one that laid claim over the Moon?? And so Kaguya started telling me about her life.
I wasn?t really listening, because I was sort of checking her out. I made the decision, yeah, I would fuck her. Hell, I figured I had a pretty good shot, ?cause she said she hasn?t seen anyone new in years. Besides, most of those people had to be women, ?cause there?s like five chicks for every dude in this shithole, so she had to be hungry for some cock. Even better, she might be a virgin, I fucking love fucking virgins.
She continued talking. When she stopped I said, ?Cool story, bro. So, you must be pretty lonely.? And she said, ?Well, not entirely. I have Eirin. I have the rabbits. So I?m not?? ?I mean, you must be lonely for some?you know, some ?companionship?.? And she sort of shrugged and said, ?Not really??
And I stood up, took off my shirt, and started flexing my guns. ?Come on, there?s no reason you called me here other than you wanting to fuck me. Face it, you want an ALPHA, you got an ALPHA.?
Then, all of a sudden, she screamed ?Eirin, Eirin, help me Eirin!? Shortly after, someone cracked me in the back of the knees with a pipe or something, and then over the head. I blacked out?.
***
When Bobby woke up, he was in the bamboo forest again. Eirin was standing over him, as was Reisen, Tewi and a number of Earth rabbits. The look on Eirin?s face said it all. She was mad, and she wasn?t about to take any more of Bobby?s crap. She said, ?You are no longer welcome at this house.? Bobby?s head was still throbbing. ?What the fuck, why??
Eirin replied with, ?You?ve threatened my staff, assaulted my princess, and tried to rape my assistant. I?d say that?s a good enough reason for me to throw you out.
Bobby, hotheaded as usual, replied ?Fine, fuck you then, I?ll go back to the village.? Bobby tried to get up, but found he couldn?t?his legs and arms were being held down by ropes, tied around his wrists and ankles and wrapped around stakes buried in the ground.
Eirin started talking again. ?No. You don?t get to walk away this time. I?ve heard of you from Mokou. You?re a misogynistic bastard who goes around, foisting yourself on innocent women in the hopes that they?re deluded enough to fornicate with you.?
Then Bobby noticed Tewi. He also noticed that she was holding a big, wooden hammer. Eirin said, ?I feel that Gensokyo would be better off without you. Goodbye, Bobby.?
Eirin nodded at Tewi, who raised her hammer. Bobby tried to stammer something out, but he was cut off by the hammer coming down on his skull.
-
Does this mean we won't get anymore Alpha Bobby?
Or is he going to assault Yuyuko as a ghost~
-
Does this mean we won't get anymore Alpha Bobby?
Or is he going to assault Yuyuko as a ghost~
I second this, actually include Sikieiki in that too
-
Is that the end, or is it dream/hell/heaven time?
Nice chapter though, has an "Eientei takes care of it's own" feeling.
-
you'll see~
-
I look forward to Yuyuko shattering his tiny mind.
-
Yes Apo! I kind of speculate where you are going and cannot wait for it.
Tewi the killer. Ahaahahahahaha.
-
Goddammit. I have to modify my "To Do" list, like this:
World Domination via Psychology
OkuuXCirno: Touhou 69
Becoming the new ZUN
Erecting a Shrine to Apotheosis
Seriously, this thing is GENIUS!
-
Is this going to be in third person now?
Also: yay, lead pipes! You know how to cater to my fetishes =]
-
Is this going to be in third person now?
Also: yay, lead pipes! You know how to cater to my fetishes =]
no, that was a design choice to add suspense
-
Canon Tewi is fine too
-
What a way to spend 8 minutes of my time (http://www.mediafire.com/?zyty0m2htyt)
My douchebag voice always seems to just descend to what you hear there, so I just decided to use that.
-
I yelled at her, ?WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?
Too much My Immortal?
-
I 'unno, if it isn't Dumbledore or someone similar saying that, it kinda loses its effect.
-
Too much My Immortal?
yep, I pretty much intended that as a direct reference
in hindsight it doesn't really fit, but there you go
-
oh god
i imagined the kind of face Tewi had on when she used the hammer and it was hilarious
-
What a way to spend 8 minutes of my time (http://www.mediafire.com/?zyty0m2htyt)
My douchebag voice always seems to just descend to what you hear there, so I just decided to use that.
just listened to this
Vic is credit to team!
-
just listened to this
Vic is credit to team!
If you want, I'll do every chapter
-
If you want, I'll do every chapter
if you want to, that's fine by me
-
if you want to, that's fine by me
I'll put up chapter 2 tonight then
-
Chapter 2 (http://www.mediafire.com/?hz53ymwwznz)
Chapter 3 in the morning, Chapter 4 tomorrow night
-
Chapter 2 (http://www.mediafire.com/?hz53ymwwznz)
Chapter 3 in the morning, Chapter 4 tomorrow night
excellent, this is fantastic, thank you :)
oh, BTW, the story will be ending in two or three more chapters, it depends on how I decide to end it
Fun Fact: The original plan called for wrapping this up with Bobby having an epiphany about how much of a douchebag he is and returning to our world with a new found respect for women. current plan might have this, or it might not, I haven't decided yet.
-
Fun Fact: The original plan called for wrapping this up with Bobby having an epiphany about how much of a douchebag he is and returning to our world with a new found respect for women.
A douchebag making a complete 180 requires more suspension of disbelief than youkai and Gensokyo.
-
Good thing we got this version then, huh?
-
Does Bobby get CAVE'D? I hope he does!
-
Chapter 3 (http://www.mediafire.com/?5ojynikzymh)
I'm actually having fun doing this. Chapter 4 tonight
-
This is awesome to listen to hahahaha Vic Viper. You are playing the role of bobby perfectly. Hahahaha.
-
Chapter 4 (http://www.mediafire.com/?tonyzha23ox)
Gonna try reading slower from now on, since I now realize how fast I had been reading
When can we expect chapter 7?
-
Chapter 5 (http://www.mediafire.com/?tmk45okqtkj)
Almost done. Chapter 6 turned out kinda goofy, but I think I'll leave it as is. I'll post it tomorrow.
-
When can we expect chapter 7?
IT COMES TONIGHT...
seriously, last night I was playing Half-Life 2 Episode 2, so I didn't get anything done
Ch.7 preview: Komachi got big ol' titties
-
Gonna try reading slower from now on, since I now realize how fast I had been reading
Actually, even a dutchdude like me had no trouble keeping up. I think the speed you were talking fits the image of bobby anyway. As generally douchebags talk swift and fast when they are showing off n' shiz.
Keep up the good work. I am enjoying this ( saved them all on my computer )
-
Penultimate chapter, folks. That's right, chapter 8 will wrap everything up. I might conclude with a list of "phun phacts" or something, 'cause I like that sort of shit.
------------------------------------------------------------
Douchebag in Gensokyo
Chapter 7
So when I woke up?wait, did I wake up? I mean, I died. You don?t really wake up from death, you know. But am I dead? I mean, I?m thinking about death right now, I think the nerds call that shit existennisalism or something, like, I?m thinking about life and shit.
Fuck, I?m confused.
So, I guess I woke up, ?cause I was on the shore of what looked like a river or something. At least, I guess it was a river, I couldn?t really see anything ?cause there was all sorts of mist and shit covering everything. But I know that everything looked gray?the sky was gray, the ground was gray, the water was gray and it looked like there were dead fish floating in it.
It was then that it really hit me, like all of a sudden BAM?I was dead. Like, really dead. Like ?no going back? dead.
And I thought, ?Bullshit.? Man, I should?ve stayed in bed Tuesday. Fuck that bitch in the bar. Fuck ALL the bitches I had met so far. Fuck this Gensokyo place. Fuck everything.
Then, out of the mist, I saw something. It was a rowboat, coming down the river. As it drew closer, I got a good look at the driver.
Holy shit, look at her TITS! Seriously, they?re like fuckin? melons! And they?re just hanging out of her gown?dress?thingy. Death ain?t so bad after all!
She pulled up to the shore. I noticed she had one of those blade thingies that?s on a pole, that they use to cut wheat. I think they call it a scythe.
Then it hit me. I?m dead?she has a scythe (And large tits)?is she Death? Fuck, if she?s really the Grim Reaper, I?d have died a long time ago!
So she gets out of the boat, and I decide, fuck it, I?m dead, what?s the worst that could happen? So I try to do my thing. ??sup, baby.? And she sort of looks at me quizzically and says, ?Huh? Not much, I guess.? And I?m thinking ?Shit yeah, even in death I still pimp.? So I lay out my best lines ?cause I got nothing to lose at this point. ?What?s a pretty little thing like you doing in a place like this??
And she says, ?Ah. I see. Look, lover boy, I got better things to do than to listen to your lame-ass pick up lines. Just get on the damn boat so I can get on with my day.?
For shit?s sake! When will this bullshit end? I keep striking out! Is every bitch I meet afraid of me? Fuck!
So I get on the boat with Tits McGee and we set off. The trip passes by in silence, though I got a lot of questions, I don?t want to talk to her.
Anyway, after a long while the S.S. Bitch reaches the other edge of the river. Walking Cleavage turns to me and says, ?Right, out of the boat, Romeo.? And I?m thinking, ?Who?s this Romeo faggot?? Then I get out of the boat. I find myself standing in front of two massive doors set into like a cave or something. Titzilla keeps talking, ?Go through those doors, there. The Yama will judge your life and you will be sentenced. She?ll explain more when you get there. Get going, she doesn?t like to wait.?
As if on cue, the doors open. I go ahead and walk through them, not like there?s anything else for me to do around here.
When I walk into the room beyond the doors, I see that there?s this massive judge?s bench, like the kind in a regular courtroom. To the left of the bench there?s a massive, golden scale. There are these doors on the left and right walls of the room.
Sitting behind the bench is this girl. All I can see of her was her green hair and her hat thing. It looked like a crown. All of a sudden, she says ?Come forward.? And, I dunno, I was sorta compelled to walk forward.
The girl?I guess she was the Yama Titbitch was talking about??looks down on me and says, ?I am Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, the judge of the dead. If you?re here, that means only one thing?you?re dead. As such, it is my responsibility to weigh the actions of your life and determine whether you are to go to heaven, hell, or purgatory. Rest assured that I am not a biased judge. I will not rule for you or against you on the basis of gender, race, religion, sexuality, nationality, ethnicity, or anything like that. Just sit back and relax. If necessary, you will be required to answer questions about your life. Until then, just take a seat.?
Suddenly, a chair I guess magically appeared behind me, and I sat down in it. The Yama looked through a few papers and spoke again. ?Bobby Bagliaduccia, born June 4th, 1986 in Stoughton, Wisconsin, United States. A little far from home, aren?t you?? I opened my mouth to answer, when she said ?That?s a rhetorical question. Says here you?re the product of a broken home. Makes sense.?
Then she put the file down and said, ?Looking at your file, I noticed that you seem to have a strong dislike of women. Do you dislike women, Bobby?? I shook my head ?no?. I mean, I love chicks. I love to fuck ?em, and I love it when they treat me right.
The Yama, I guess, didn?t believe me, and said ?I doubt that. You see, I feel that your upbringing instilled within you a subconscious hatred of women. Your mother left you when you were a young boy, and from what I can tell, your father spent much of your childhood cursing the ?rotten bitch? that left him a single parent, even though it was his fault in the first place. He spent much of his time getting drunk and picking up strange women. Every boy wants to be his father, and as such, you learned how to interact with women from him, believing him to be the epitome of manliness. Hence the tough guy act, hence the misogyny, hence?well, to be blunt, hence your being here in the first place. Hitting on Princess Kaguya?shame on you. Did you honestly think that would work?? She shook her head. And I was sitting here wondering how the fuck she knew so much about my family?
Then she turned to those scales. ?In the first bowl is a single feather. This feather represents your soul. As you can see, the scale is off balance. Your life?s actions go into the second bowl, both good and bad, with different actions having more weight. Hypothetically, saving a child from a burning building would weigh more than stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. If, after all your life?s actions have been added, the feather is heavier, you will ascend to heaven. If the feather is lighter, you will go to hell. If they are equal, you will go to purgatory, where you will be granted one more chance to improve yourself. This is very exact?there is no such thing as ?wiggle room? in this process.?
Then she got up (I thought she would never stop talking) and approached the scales. She started putting weights in the second bowl, muttering to herself. Occasionally I would hear her say something like, ?Hurt his girlfriend? or ?Stole his friend?s car.? I was wondering when I would get a say in any of this.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she finished. The end result was that the scale was balanced.
The Yama went back to her bench. ?Bobby Baggliaduccia, you have been found as having a soul in balance with your deeds. You were born with a good soul, I don?t know where it came from, but there you go. You will henceforth be sent to purgatory, where you will be given one more chance. Fail and you will be sent to hell. Succeed and you will be sent to heaven. Do exceptionally well in your effort to improve yourself and you will be reincarnated.?
Then she came down from her bench and stood in front of me. ?You wonder why you don?t ?score? often. It?s not because women are afraid of you. It?s not because they?re all bitches who judge you before getting to know you. It?s because you?re?well, a douchebag. You abuse and torment and even physically harm almost everyone you come in contact with, even your friends.? Then she put her hand on mine. ?Bobby, if you learn anything from your time in purgatory, learn compassion. Learn to respect your fellow human being.?
Then the door on the right opened. ?Go through that door and follow the road until you come to a large stairway, then walk up the stairs and through the door. Then you will be in purgatory and your sentence will begin. Good luck.?
I got up from the chair and walked through the door. Behind me, I could hear the Yama say, ?Next.?
-
Even in front of that thing Siki does not falter.
/me salutes
-
Typical Shiki Eiki. Lectures the dead and the souls. SAY HI TO YUYUKO BOBBY. Because you will spend some time in Tha Netherworld, before reincarnating, with Dawg Youki ( who isn't around, pitty ).
I did got suprised Bobby didn't tried to act as a douchebag in front of Eiki-sama, like "Hey there judge. Why don't you judge me in private" or something :V That would send him instantly to hell. Good show Apo, very good. ( waiting till Vic Viper voices the new ones )
-
Typical Shiki Eiki. Lectures the dead and the souls. SAY HI TO YUYUKO BOBBY. Because you will spend some time in Tha Netherworld, before reincarnating, with Dawg Youki ( who isn't around, pitty ).
I did got suprised Bobby didn't tried to act as a douchebag in front of Eiki-sama, like "Hey there judge. Why don't you judge me in private" or something :V That would send him instantly to hell. Good show Apo, very good. ( waiting till Vic Viper voices the new ones )
I was going to do just that, but I decided that it would be better if Bobby just sort of sat there, like he was "compelled" (read: forced) to keep his mouth shut
-
Oh oh oh , don't take my post as critism or advice, because I don't intend to give any or so. It is just my personal thoughts on how I expected to be but got suprised. Because I love generally element of suprise. Else it would have been too obvious.
-
Mighty generous of you to leave the scales in balance. But I guess it'd be predictable that he'd go to Hell, not to mention depriving us of another chapter.
-
Oh oh oh , don't take my post as critism or advice, because I don't intend to give any or so. It is just my personal thoughts on how I expected to be but got suprised. Because I love generally element of suprise. Else it would have been too obvious.
I wasn't taking it like that in the first place, but OK. :) I was just telling you what my train of thought was when I was writing that sequence, because I figure everyone should be privy to the stuff inside my braincase.
Mighty generous of you to leave the scales in balance. But I guess it'd be predictable that he'd go to Hell, not to mention depriving us of another chapter.
I thought that hell would have been a little too much for Bobby. Bobby's an asshole, but that's something he could change. In my mind, hell is reserved for the truly unrepentant.
-
tig ol' bitties
Gonna rerecord chapter 6, since I ended up screaming "TASUKETE ERIN!" and read the announcer in a really goofy voice. Sorry, expect that later today.
-
So, is he going to hook up with the good old Saigyou Ayakashi~
-
So, is he going to hook up with the good old Saigyou Ayakashi~
hahaha, when I was thinking of ways to end the story, "Turn Bobby into a tree" came up.
seriously, he would get to the netherworld, hit on Yuyuko, then get turned into a tree, with his only companionship an occasional visit from Youmu.
then I decided that was too cruel. :(
-
I thought that hell would have been a little too much for Bobby. Bobby's an asshole, but that's something he could change. In my mind, hell is reserved for the truly unrepentant.
Again, generous of you. I always thought the essence of "douchebag" was "unrepentant asshole". You're a kinder soul than I.
-
Making a folder for narrated readings
-
Any human soul in this world is born neutral. Our very form of "growing up" shapes us into what we eventually become. Therefor I believe most people who are douchebags, idiots, criminals etc somewhere took the wrong path in their life due to external factors.
Quite funny when you think about it but Shiki Eiki's judgement being black and white is solid here. That is how I view humans generally in my life: "Good humans or bad humans" but yea, humans are so complex that mere black & white does not compute anymore.
-
Huh, a possible character-development? In a funfic? Wow.
Any human soul in this world is born neutral. Our very form of "growing up" shapes us into what we eventually become. Therefor I believe most people who are douchebags, idiots, criminals etc somewhere took the wrong path in their life due to external factors.
Well, if you think about that a soul is a different existence ("being"), a some sort of "parasite" in a living human being, then a soul, what lived for hundreds of years, and was a "good" soul, then being reborn as a human, that human can be generally good, too. Of course it doesn't mean that some evil soul can't be a good human, souls can redeem while they live with their human hosts. This is why humans are a dual existence: both flesh and soul.
Damn, there I go existential again. :V
-
Personally, I'm half-expecting him to fail his chance miserably, and end up with Shiki facepalming and sending him on to hell anyway :V
-
inb4Rurorgasm
-
Kinda surprised me when I saw that Bobby got a balanced scale, but I'm sure that (seeing as this next chapter will end things) Bobby will royally fuck up and be sent to Hell.
Konngara?
Nah, don't mind me.
-
Apo, I blame you for my newly developed inability to look at douchebags without thinking of Touhou!
-
Wow, well done Apo. Though he really didn't deserve purgatory. I guess it makes for better story ^-^.
Though, would that mean he'd have made it into heaven if he hadn't hit on Komachi?
-
I doubt that. Bobby is lucky that Komachi didn't throw him into the river.
-
I doubt that. Bobby is lucky that Komachi didn't throw him into the river.
True, but there is the fact that he apparently balanced. I can't help but think hitting on Komachi was against him.
-
Added links to the chapters in the OP just because.
-
He should have been sentenced to Hell and accidentally gets sent to Old Hell with Utsuho and Orin
-
He should have been sentenced to Hell and accidentally gets sent to Old Hell with Utsuho and Orin
that's the lost Chapter 9.
-
I'm surprised Bobby didn't try to hit on Shiki. Maybe he thought she was too androgynous.
-
Bobby wouldn't have stood a chance against Shiki.
Shiki would have just came down off her bench, and hit Bobby in the head with her paddle (Boink!)
-
BTW, after the last chapter is posted there will be a snippet of something I've been playing with.
I think it'll blow your socks off.
-
Pesco already has those
-
I think it'll blow your socks off.
If Pesco didn't steal them already...
ZING!
Ninja'd: GOD DAMMIT!
-
He should have been sentenced to Hell and accidentally gets sent to Old Hell with Utsuho and Orin
Or, he'll get sent to PC-98 hell, and wind up with the only touhou who is as big a douch as (Dare I say MORE OF A DOUCH THEN) him, MIMA
-
Or, he'll get sent to PC-98 hell, and wind up with the only touhou who is as big a douch as (Dare I say MORE OF A DOUCH THEN) him, MIMA
Chapter 1
-
Douchebag in Gensokyo
Chapter 8
It took a while, but I eventually reached the place the Yama was talking about. Those stairs were a pain in the ass, they were all made of stone and kinda small, so I was afraid that I would slip and bust my head on them or something.
Then I remembered I was dead.
Anyway, I got to the massive doors the Yama talked about. And, while I was walking, I kept thinking about what she?d said??Learn compassion, learn respect.? And I started thinking that it was a bunch of bullshit, I know what compassion and respect are, I just don?t give a fuck about them, if you can?t deal with an ALPHA don?t scrap with one, you know what I?m sayin??
Just then, the doors opened. And I saw, like, rows and rows of those trees with the pink leaves. Off in the distance, there was this mansion, it looked like one of those old Japanese castles. I started walking towards it, ?cause it was the only interesting thing around.
After a while, I finally got there, and I was able to get a better look at the place. It was big, like, it was the biggest house I?d ever seen. I walked up to what I thought was the front door and knocked on it.
The door opened and there was this pale girl with white hair, dressed in some kinda green schoolgirl uniform. She had two sheathed swords hanging at her waist, I guess they were those samurai swords you see in movies and shit. There was also some kind of white blobby looking thing following her.
The girl gave me a once-over and said, ?Can I help you?? And I said, ?Yeah, the judge lady told me to come here?? Then the girl said, ?Oh, you must be the man Lady Yuyuko was talking about. Come in. Don?t touch anything.? Then the girl opened the door and I walked in.
When we got inside, the girl pointed down the hall. ?Lady Yuyuko is down there, in the banquet hall. She?ll want to see you right away.?
I walked toward this banquet hall place. When I walked in, I saw that the banquet hall was a large room with a really big table in the middle of it, like one of those really long conference tables, only this one was made of wood. I also saw that some of the screens on the wall had been taken down, and there was a view out into this zen garden, one of those with the rocks and the sand that are supposed to look like, I dunno, mountains in the sea or some shit.
Anyway, there was a woman sitting at the edge of the zen garden, eating something. She was the only person here, so I supposed she was this Lady Yuyuko the girl had talked about.
I was going to walk over and introduce myself when the woman turned around and said, ?I was wondering when you?d show up.?
The woman got up and approached me. ?I am Yuyuko Saigyouji, mistress of this mansion. I already know who you are, Mister Bagliaduccia. The Yama told me of your sentence. My job is to facilitate your betterment as a human being, and to ease the transition into non-life. Until then, you are welcome to stay in my home.?
Then the woman sat back down and said ?But you must be tired after everything that?s happened to you. Please, sit down so we can talk.?
And I was thinking, you know, how could I be tired? I was dead. You don?t really get tired. But the lady was nice enough, she had this sort of ?mom? thing going for her, and I sorta wanted to talk to someone. So I sat with her.
I started to ask her some questions. ?OK, so what is this place?? And she replied with, ?You are in Hakugyokurou, my?well, I guess you could call it my palace.? And I said, ?Palace? Are you some kinda queen or something?? And she said, ?You could say that. I?m the ?ghost princess?, though what I rule over isn?t entirely clear to me. Like I said, my job is to assist souls such as yourself who have been given the opportunity to better themselves. As I?m sure the Yama has explained to you, if you succeed in becoming a better person and reducing some of the weight of your actions, you will ascend to heaven. If you fail, you will be judged as unrepentant and sent to hell. If you do better than expected, you might even be reincarnated.? Then she smiled and said, ?Doesn?t that sound like fun??
I asked another question, ?OK, so if I better myself, I come back to life?? ?That?s about the size of it.? ?Well, shit, how do I do that??
Yuyuko looked ahead, focusing on the zen garden. ?Well, according to the Yama, you?re a young man who thinks of himself as a superior being.? And I shrugged and flexed my guns and said, ?Hell yeah, that?s ?cause I am!? But then Yuyuko shook her head. ?If you?re a superior being, why are you dead??
That got me. I thought about it for a second, and said ??cause those rabbit bitches killed me.? Then Yuyuko said, ?Why did they kill you?? And I said, ??cause they?I dunno?? ?Let?s think about the last few hours of your life. You tried to rape someone.?
And I got pissed, ?cause that was so much bullshit. ?Hey, I didn?t rape nobody! She wanted it, she was just scared of me, ?cause??
And then Yuyuko got mad. ?No Bobby. She didn?t want to sleep with you. You forced yourself on her, and yes, she was afraid of you, she was afraid you?d assault her. It?s not because she was ?afraid of your power? or whatever nonsense you cooked up to make you feel better after striking out. And then, to make matters worse, you tried the same thing on the Princess! Her attendants honestly thought you were attacking her! Now do you see, Bobby? Your big mouth and your oversized ego got you killed! It?s not because of them, it?s all on you!?
And then she stopped ranting. And I swear, I heard a little voice in my head say, ?She?s right, you know.? And there was another voice, that said, ?Shut up, they were bitches and they hated me!? But then the other voice came back and said, ?If you had only acted nicely, you wouldn?t have ended up like this.? And then the other voice, ?Shut up! Shut up! That?s not true!? But I noticed something funny?the other voice, the one that was telling the other one to shut up, it was getting softer.
For a while I was quiet as the two voices in my head fought it out. Eventually, the first voice won. Then Yuyuko said, ?What?s on your mind, Bobby??
And I said, ?I think?I was a douchebag?? Yuyuko smiled and said, ?Good, Bobby. Anything else?? And I said, ?I should?apologize? And I shouldn?t act like that, ?cause it only gets me into trouble?? And now Yuyuko was nodding a lot, and she said, ?That?s right! You?re always wondering why people don?t respect you, right? Well, can you tell me why they don?t respect you??
And I thought some more, and then I said, ??Because I don?t respect them??
And then Yuyuko, she just jumped up and hugged me! Then she said, ?That?s right, Bobby. You see, you?re already making progress.?
Then she let go and got up. ?We?ll leave it there for the night. Youmu will show you to your room.? And I said, ?Huh? We?re not done?? And then she sort of giggled and said, ?Of course not. It?s been a fantastic first day, but I need to make sure the lesson?stuck. So. I expect to see you here, bright and early.?
I spent the next while learning about stuff like, how to not be a dick and respecting other people and shit. I actually felt sort of bad, ?cause it was dawning on me that all this time I was being an asshole. I mean, I don?t like it when people are assholes to me, so why would other people like it when I?m assholes to them?
After a while, I was sent back to the Yama, and Yuyuko came with me. I sat down in the same chair I was in when I first came here. The Yama started talking. ?Bobby Bagliaduccia, you were sentenced to purgatory in the hopes that you would reform your life.? Then she turned to Yuyuko and asked, ?Mistress Saigyouji, in your opinion, has Bobby reformed?? Then Yuyuko nodded and said, ?Yes. I believe he is a better man than he was when he entered my home.? Then the Yama continued, ?In your opinion, do you believe that he has exceeded the expectations set upon him by this court?? And Yuyuko nodded again.
The Yama nodded, too. Then she said, ?Very well. Bobby Bagliaduccia, this court finds you to be reformed. You are to be reincarnated into your previous form. Please go through the door behind you and talk to Komachi, she will bring you to the other side of the river. From there you will be free to choose your own path.?
I couldn?t believe it! I was going to be brought back to life! I thanked the Yama (I know! Me, thank someone?) and then I turned to Yuyuko. But before I could react, she had me in one of her bear hugs, you know what I?m talking about. Then she said, ?Good luck, Bobby. Remember what I taught you.? Then she gave me a peck on the check and sent me on my way.
When I got outside, I saw the woman with the big tits from earlier. I supposed this was the ?Komachi? I was supposed to talk to. She saw me and said, ?Well, look who Madame Butterfly dragged in. I guess you made it, Romeo. Hop on, this won?t take long.?
We got on the boat. As we were nearing the other side, I thought about the way I treated her when I first met her. I summoned up some courage and said, ?Hey?? She turned around and said, ?Yeah?? And then I said, ?Listen, I?m?I?m sorry for the way I treated you last time. I was acting like an asshole. I?m really sorry.? And then she sort of blinked and said, ?Oh?OK, apology accepted, I guess.?
The boat bumped up against the other side. Off in the distance, the gray ground gave way to a green grass field, and beyond that I could see a forest. I got out of the boat and started walking towards the forest.
I heard Komachi say, ?Hey.? I turned around. Then she said, ?You know, you?re?kinda cute when you?re not being a douchebag.? Then she paddled off.
I shrugged, turned around, and walked towards the forest, ready to start over again.
-------------------------------------------------
Ah, what a long, strange trip it's been. Well, not really, but play along.
So Bobby. He starts off as a douchebag, gets killed because of it, and becomes a better person. Maybe I'll explore this character some more, who knows. Pretty good for what started off as a joke because I was bored.
Right now, though, I suppose you're aching to read that snippet I mentioned earlier. And so, with no further ado...
-------------------------------------------------
Forces 'a Nature
Preview
It truly is an ingenious device, thought Eirin. She checked the clock, and was surprised to see it was almost two in the morning. But further exploration must wait until after I get some sleep?
She decided to go outside and stretch her legs. Fantastic. If we had one of those things on Luna, it could change the face of Lunarian medicine forever. Then, more bitterly, But I?m not allowed on Luna anymore. And good luck trying to build it here. There?s only so much I can do with technology from the last century?
The realization that she was not alone snapped her out of her thoughts. A large, hulking frame was leaning against a pillar, his eyes fixated on the zen garden. As large as he was, in this moment, he looked?small. Fragile. Well, he did lose his best friend today.
?Hello, Heavy.?
Eirin?s voice snapped the husky Russian out of his reverie. ?Is rather late for you to be out, I think,? he said. Eirin came back with, ?I could say the same for you.?
But Heavy had gone back to staring at the garden. Eirin approached the man. ?You can?t blame yourself for what happened. It was just?just Medic?s bad luck.?
Heavy heaved a sigh. ?I suppose. But?? He shook his head as his thought trailed off.
Eirin pushed onward. ?But what??
Heavy turned around so he was facing Eirin. ?Heavy Weapons Guy is supposed to stay with Medic. We make good team. Heavy is supposed to support Medic whenever he in trouble. I?I failed. And he is dead.? Heavy turned back to the garden. ?He is dead, and is my fault.?
Eirin felt sympathy for the man. But, at the same time, she was confused. Heavy was no stranger to war. He knew the risks. And he had said so himself, Medic was not his first partner. So why was he so upset? Then a thought struck her. Maybe?
Eirin decided to broach the topic carefully. ?Heavy?Medic was?he was more than your friend, wasn?t he??
Almost imperceptibly, Heavy nodded. In a deep whisper, he said ?I love him.?
Eirin could see that he was about to break down. She threw her arms around him. ?Oh, Heavy?Heavy, I?m so, so sorry.?
The mammoth of a man clumsily returned the hug. ?I am sorry, too.?
-------------------------------------------------
YEP THAT'S RIGHT IT'S A FUCKING TOUHOU/TF2 CROSSOVER AND HEAVY AND MEDIC ARE GAY.
It's actually something I had been toying with. I think it would be cool to explore what would happen if RED all of a sudden found themselves in Gensokyo. I also wanted to explore the relationships between the classes as if they were real people.
The idea that Heavy and Medic are gay was sort of inspired by a TF2 webcomic (http://tf2.skyscrapersoup.com/) where the BLU sniper and RED spy are lovers.
I love fandom.
-
Awww, that's quite the nice closi-
YEP THAT'S RIGHT IT'S A FUCKING TOUHOU/TF2 CROSSOVER AND HEAVY AND MEDIC ARE GAY.
HAHAHA FUCK YES
-
More douchebags should get Yuyuko's special attention. It would take some serious rock-bottom event to get a douchebag to change, and I think "dead" is about as rock bottom as it gets.
Awesome work. Probably my favorite Touhou fanfic ever.
-
I think Apo earned special usertitle for this. And perhaps Vic as well for voicing it.
?11:46:39? <Helepolis> And then Yuyuko, she just jumped up and hugged me! Then she said, ?That?s right, Bobby. You see, you?re already making progress.?
?11:46:47? <Helepolis> I thought Yuyuko was going to rape HIM there for being suddenly a good boy
?11:46:50? <Helepolis> like some kind of reward
?11:46:52? <Helepolis> :V
?11:46:57? <ES_Anthony> :V
?11:47:03? <ES_Anthony> get your mind out of the gutter Hele
?11:47:08? <RiceZengar> Yuyuko is an ALPHA?
?11:47:13? <RiceZengar> Who would have thought!
?11:47:18? <Helepolis> That is perfectly normal for Yuyu you know
?11:47:21? <Helepolis> she is crazy
?11:47:28? <ES_Anthony> nah, we all know Mokou is the ALPHA
?11:47:38? <Helepolis> In gensokyo, anybody is an alpha
?11:47:40? <Helepolis> the girls that is
?11:47:46? <ES_Anthony> yea...
?11:47:50? <RiceZengar> Well, I'd think she'd rape him, and then act like she did not know what happened
?11:47:59? <ES_Anthony> possibly
?11:48:06? <ES_Anthony> maybe it's implied?
?11:48:10? <ES_Anthony> :3
?11:48:47? <RiceZengar> Nah, I say that Komachi's gonna go back for him
?11:49:02? <RiceZengar> and then CRAZY INTERSPECIES SEX IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SANZU RIVER
-
Wow, that was amazing.
That was great stuff.
-
oh fuck
-
Awesome work. Probably my favorite Touhou fanfic ever.
-
Chapter 6 (http://www.mediafire.com/?4yynitygjkw)
Not too happy with the narrator again, but I'll live. Class now, I'll post the rest when I get back
-
Nyeh, I can't say I'm happy to see him slip out of comeuppance but...I guess it was nice to see him reform.
-
TF2 CROSS-OVER OSHI-
-
Chapter 7 (http://www.mediafire.com/?mtzwqym1uxd)
For whatever reason, I wound up at home between classes today. Chapter 8 later today.
-
So how did Medic die?
Blind sighted by a Pyro's Backburner, Boinked out by a Scout, or perhaps, Crit Rocket. :O
-
So how did Medic die?
Blind sighted by a Pyro's Backburner, Boinked out by a Scout, or perhaps, Crit Rocket. :O
e: disregard the last reply
Medic was killed by Mokou, 'cause she thought RED was working with Eientei. Turns out that it was "wrong place, wrong time".
-
Chapter 8 (http://www.mediafire.com/?umjjz1tt2y4)
And I guess that's it. Thanks for listening!
BONUS! (http://www.mediafire.com/?ynoadlz2wkq)
-
That last part reminds me of this (http://nerfnow.com/comic/186)
-
Man, This was the best thing.
Wright more stories plz
-
awesome job Apo. maybe someone should put this in the lecture series, unless Apo wants to use it for something else, i dunno
-
I say wait until the story finishes until this could be lectured.
-
Should probably start a new thread for a new story, I think.
-
I say wait until the story finishes until this could be lectured.
yeah, I'm done with DiG. If I wanted to start another one, I'd make a new thread.