Maybe This Will Make Confessions of Love Easier?
Reimu is red,
Cirno is blue,
Words cannot describe,
How much I love you.
If by chance,
Affection turns to hate,
I'll pull a Remilia,
And rewrite our fate.
When Tenshi is bored,
And the sky turns red,
Together we'll stay,
Until we are dead.
My loyalty to you,
Will last forever,
This is one thing,
Youmu cannot sever.
You burn brighter,
Than Mokou's flame,
My life was dull,
Until you came.
I have yet to lie to you,
Unlike a black-and-white,
That is why we will never,
Get into a fight.
You are as honest,
As the green-haired Yama,
Indeed much better,
Than Yukari-sama.
I am deaf,
To all but your song,
Being near you,
Makes me strong.
My beloved tomboyish girl,
I love you so,
If you don't accept my feelings,
Well, at least there's Touhou!
......
Yeah, this is the best poem I've ever written. Man, if Drako could see me now, she'd swat me over the head for doing so badly on my first two posts. Don't expect anything from me very soon, 'cause I've got another story I'm working on. Oh yeah, this is dedicated to my teacher, lost to me forever....
Because I forgot to ask for her email.
You Win Some, You Lose Some!
Reimu sipped her tea and sighed contentedly. It was a nice day. The sun was shining, the skies were blue, and there were no incidents to solve or crazy humans popping in to ‘visit’…
Reimu was still thinking these peaceful thoughts when something hard slammed into the back of her head and knocked her out.
“—is she… up? Open… eyes… Hit her… hard? No, wait, she’s…. Okay, she’s up… ze!”
Reimu groggily opened her eyes and groaned as the blurred figures of her assaulters focused. She tried to move, but found her arms and legs bound with rope. She squirmed, and when she could finally make out who had dared to attack her, Reimu nearly burst a gasket.
“YUKARI!!” the shrine maiden roared. “What did you do to me!?”
“Oh, no worries Reimu. We didn't do anything harmful to you. That would be counter-productive.” chuckled the gap youkai.
“Yeah, no need to be bitchy Reimu! We’ve been gettin’ worried about you, ze! This is all so that you can get a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, da ze!” Marisa grinned and thumbed her nose. “The Hakurei line isn’t going to continue itself, Reddie!”
“What!?” Reimu screamed. “What're you talking about!? Are you planning to rape me or something!?” Yukari and Marisa glanced at each other, before bursting into laughter.
“Gahahaha! You!? Are you kiddin' me, ze?” guffawed Marisa.
“I’m sorry Reimu, but Yuyuko would kill me if I so much as sneezed at another woman.” Yukari chuckled. “At any rate, we’re not going to violate you.”
The shrine maiden gave her a suspicious glare. “Oh really?”
“Really, ze! Don’t worry, we’re not gonna touch you. Oh, but we are setting up speed dates for you to get to know people better, so you should get cleaned up, da ze! “
“You what!? Wait, what do you mean by speed dates? Yukari, what the hell is Marisa talking about!?” Reimu struggled against her bonds, but failed to remove them. “Yukari, tell me what she’s talking about!”
“Relax Reimu, just take it easy. Things will be explained soon, so just sit tight for a while.” Yukari smiled mysteriously and gapped out of the room. Marisa stuck around for a few minutes, mostly to tease and laugh at Reimu, before leaving. Reimu sat alone for at least ten minutes, growling and swearing bloody revenge under her breath.
Eventually though, she calmed down enough to stop damning the two blondes to Shinki and merely sat still, waiting for either Yukari or Marisa to finally come back and finally give her some exposition.
Five minutes later, a gap opened underneath the shrine maiden and she found herself staring into a crowd of enthusiastic Reimu-fans, shrine maiden fetishists, and even a few people she knew personally.
“Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Hakurei Speed Dating Festival where --for a small price of five hundred yen-- you get to spend exactly five minutes alone with Hakurei Reimu, the Shrine Maiden of Paradise!” Reimu looked to her left and nearly choked when she saw the announcer: Shameimaru Aya, handsome and dashing in a red tuxedo vest and matching dress pants.
The audience began murmuring, and Reimu saw Mima sitting in the front row, smirking and whispering to Yuuka, who was wearing her perpetually creepy smile and staring right at Reimu.
“Ayayaya, alright, does everyone understand? All customers get five minutes with Reimu, but if Hakurei hits her buzzer, you leave immediately! If not, our bouncers will drag you out! No refunds and you will wait your turn! The speed date will take place in the room behind me, and no, the date will not be monitored! You will be given utmost privacy, unless Reimu panics and presses her 'help me' buzzer! Does anyone have any questions?” the tengu asked.
No hands were raised, but the audience was starting to get rowdy. Some men in the back began to cheer, and soon the rest of the crowd joined in. Mima was doubled over laughing, and Yuuka was starting to giggle.
“Alright then, we start now! Number One, please enter the Date-Room!” Aya helped the first customer up onto the stage and then untied Reimu.
The shrine maiden immediately went for her spell cards, but found them missing. She balled up her fists and considered punching the tengu when Aya began whispering in her ear.
“Ayayaya…. Don’t worry Reimu; if you can endure this, then Miss Yakumo will give you fifty percent of the Festival’s profits.” Aya murmured in an unusually worried tone. “And please, actually try to make it through the five minutes! If you don’t play nice, I’ll have to become Miss Yukari’s shikigami! My freedom is on the line here!”
Reimu raised her eyebrows and quickly weighed her options. She did a quick mental count of how much food was left in her pantry and how many donations she received that month. Then she measured how bored and irritated she was, and if the money was really worth the trouble.
She soon decided that it was.
“Fine. But I’ll be having words with her later…” grumbled the shrine maiden as she followed Minoriko into the room.
The date chamber was surprisingly plain. There were no windows, and only two armchairs and a small coffee table with a buzzer on it furnished the room. Reimu flopped into one seat and Number One--a small, mousy human girl— sat in the chair across the table.
“H-Hello, my name is Ai. From the Human Village.” said the thin, dark-haired girl.
“Oh. Well, hello. My name’s Haku—“
“—HOLY CRAP, I KNOW! I-I-I’ve b-b-been a fan of you since y-y-you saved my mom from youkai back when y-you still had purple hair! I-I usually d-d-donate once a m-month! A-At night, when you’re sleeping! I-I sometimes hang around in the m-m-morning too, b-but you never s-s-see me because I'm up in a t-tree!”
Reimu slammed her hand down on the panic button. “GET THIS CREEPY CHICK OUTTA HERE!”
The door flew open and a blue clad arm snatched the back of the girl’s kimono, dragging her out of the room. Mima floated inside and smirked at Reimu.
“How’s it going?” the spirit asked.
“How many of those stalkers am I dating?!” the shrine maiden gasped.
“Oh don’t worry; I'm sure that the number of wackos will be in the twenties, right?” Mima grinned and whacked Reimu’s shoulder playfully. “Damn, I wouldn’t want to be you right about now!”
Reimu opened her mouth to reply, but Mima quickly drifted out of the room.
The buzzer suddenly sounded, and Aya’s voice seemed to come from it. “Number One has been thrown out of the game! Next please!”
Reimu prayed to the gods that the next person wouldn’t be a weirdo.
He was. And so was the next guy, and girl after him, and the girl after her…
“What the hell is up with all the freaks!? Is there anyone here who’s actually NORMAL!?” Reimu eventually screamed, frightening the latest creep in line.
“M-M-Miss Hakurei--!”
Without looking at the strange suitor, Reimu slammed her hand down on the button, and Mima came in, dragged him out, and waved goodbye to Reimu. “That’s it, I’m done! It’s over! No more!!”
She rested her head on her arms and let out a huge sigh. Yukari and Marisa would tease her mercilessly for losing her cool like that. Reimu hoped that she could still get that half profit deal. It would suck if she went through psychological torture for nothing.
Someone entered the room. Reimu lifted her head to scream at the intruder to get out, before she saw who it was.
A young woman with long, lime green hair and bright blue eyes. Reimu’s “rival”, Kochiya Sanae.
“Hey Reimu!” Sanae chirped cheerfully, sliding into the vacant armchair. “I heard that you were doing this speed dating thing, and I decided to come over! You know, I used to do this a lot in the Outside World too, but I usually got looped in with a bunch of perverts…”
Reimu listened to Sanae babble on and on. Normally, she would have been annoyed at the other shrine maiden’s inanity and slight vapidity, but after such a harrowing day, she actually found Sanae’s voice pleasant and comforting.
The two shrine maidens remained like that for several minutes, Sanae talking, and Reimu staring at her and half-listening. Eventually Sanae stood up.
“Ah, sorry for making you listen to me for so long, Reimu.” said the green-haired priestess. She reached into a hidden pocket in her skirt and pulled out some coins. “Oh! And I forgot to pay Aya for the speed date as well, so….” Sanae counted out several five-hundred yen coins and waved goodbye.
“I guess I’ll see you around Rei--!” Reimu wrapped her arms around Sanae’s torso, keeping her in place.
“No. Stay.” growled the red and white. Sanae didn’t blush, but Reimu did. “I… uh, I’ve got to thank you. For… er… Being normal.”
“Normal? That’s not good, I can’t be normal in Gensokyo!” Sanae cried. “If you rely on common sense in Gensokyo, you get weaker!”
“That’s not what I meant…” sighed Reimu. She could hardly believe that her fellow shrine maiden was THAT shallow. “I meant that you’re the only sane person I’ve ‘dated’ today.”
“Really? But Reimu, you realize that the only reason they're going crazy about you is because you're so... so... I mean, of course they’re going to go crazy over you! I ah...,” Sanae broke free from Reimu’s embrace and looked her up and down. “Reimu, you’re hot!”
Reimu’s face turned red. She didn’t know what was worse, the fact that Sanae was flirting with her without realizing that she was, or the fact that the sanest person she had ever dated was a clueless ditz.
“… Thanks. I guess.” Then Reimu decided that she wanted to turn the tables around. “You’re pretty good looking yourself.”
To punctuate her point, Reimu grabbed Sanae’s hand and dragged her down as Reimu collapsed into an empty armchair.
“R-Reimu?” Sanae’s red face made for an interesting contrast with her hair. The red and white was rather reminded of Christmas.
“Pipe down, pipe down…” grumbled Reimu. “Just because the speed date is over doesn’t mean we can’t spend more time together.”
"Wh-What?"
Both shrine maidens were so occupied with each other than neither noticed a small gap opening up in the corner of the room.
“Just as planned ze?”
“No, not really. Truth be told, I had no idea that Reimu had a thing for the child of Moriya.” Yukari rested one hand on her cheek.
“Huh. Well, did we achieve our goal?”
Yukari peered into her gap and watched as Reimu and Sanae got cozier and cozier.
“Yes, yes we did.”
.....
What is this madness? I wasted two days writing this? Aw man...
Oh, by the way, does anyone know how to change the title of this thread/topic? If you do, can you tell me? Please?
Next Time:
Touhou, The Musical!!
Or something like that.
Touhou, Two Songs, Two Musicals!
Sanae sat in Hatate?s office, her hands outstretched as the tengu sat painting them a pale shade of green. ?Now you?ll be ready for your debut as Gensokyo?s first idol!?
?I-I guess, b-but H-Hata-tan, I?m worried?? Sanae stammered.
?Why? Your singing is awesome! And you?re like, the prettiest human on the Youkai Mountain!? Hatate waved her brush about, not caring that she splattered a few drops on her skirt.
?Hata-tan, I?m the only human on Youkai Mountain.? sighed the wind priestess. Despite her slight bout of derision, she still smiled at the tengu?s botched attempt at reassurance.
?Alright, you?re like, totally done Sanae! Go and rack up a bunch of fans and give me exclusive reporting rights to your concerts, okay?? Hatate said as she waved goodbye to the departing shrine maiden.
?Alright, it?s like, time for my secondary job!? cheered the tengu. She quickly undid her hair and unbuttoned her shirt?
.......
Shameimaru Aya hated it when she had to share offices with her fellow tengu.
?Ayayaya, keep your hands off of my reports you dog!? Aya swiped at the younger youkai with her fan, summoning a small breeze to knock him off his feet.
?Hey, we?re all friends here! Can?t you share a bit?? the male tengu asked sulkily.
?I grazed my butt off for this material youngster! I?m not letting you steal it!? growled Aya, clutching the papers to her chest. The other tengu snorted but moved away from his more-powerful senior.
The fastest in Genoskyo glared at her fellow youkai, wanting to make sure that her report was safe from copy-cats. When all the other tengu backed off, she sighed and began preparing the next day?s newspaper. But just before Aya could start printing her issues, a female tengu ran into the room, disturbing the small crowd of reporter tengu.
?Oh? Oh my gods!? panted the dark-haired woman. Aya gave her a strange stare. ?Th-The new delivery tengu is like? is like? IS LIKE WALK-IN PORN~!!!?
?? Ayaya?.ya?? asked Aya. The gasping tengu glanced at her.
?The old delivery tengu got fired and this new one replaced him and? Oh gods, she?s like the embodiment of sex-appeal!!? squealed the tengu.
Aya was about to open her mouth and respond, but before she could, a familiar voice reached her ears.
?Hey, I?ve like, got a package!?
Aya growled. ?Himekaidou Hatate!?
?You know her??
?Girl thinks she?s my rival or something?? Aya grumbled. Was the younger tengu stalking her or something?
The door creaked open, and Hatate walked in?
?Hatate walked IN!
Everyone in the room stopped and stared as Hatate--dressed in a mostly unbuttoned beige shirt and shorts?casually strolled into the office. At least, it seemed casual. To the other tengu, it seemed as though Hatate was floating in on air.
Yes, everything seemed to happen in slow motion.
??Oh? oh my?!? one of the tengu gasped.
Hatate balanced the large box on one arm and casually tugged on her short-sleeved shirt?s collar.
The male youkai who tried to steal Aya?s material hurriedly sat down and crossed his legs.
Hatate took the package in both hands and spun it expertly, accidently flashing cleavage as she bent down to glance at the recipient of the delivery.
The tengu who first announced Hatate?s arrival fanned herself and started a small whirlwind.
Hatate looked up and grinned, her teeth gleaming sexily.
Another tengu put a hand to her chest, gasping. ?No, no! I?m straight, dammit!?
Hatate?s hair streamed behind her dramatically as she spoke without her usual accent. ?Hey, I?ve got a package for Miss Doe??
The whole room--with the exception of Aya--swooned. The reporter yawned and looked around. Seriously, what was going on? It was only Hatate, the annoying young brat.
Hatate looked around and identified the owner of the package and tossed it to her. Aya had to catch it as Miss Doe collapsed in a dead faint.
Hatate glanced at Aya and winked. ?Give my regards to the lovely lady when she wakes up.? She turned and walked out the door, calling out as she left. ?Have yourselves a super day!!?
Aya?s jaw dropped. ?Ayayaya?! What just happened??
For some reason, music began playing. Aya turned to see that one of the tengu had procured one of the kappa?s music boxes out of nowhere and had turned it on. Everyone else got to their feet and surrounded Aya.
?Ooh!? they all cried as they struck random poses. Aya gawked.
?It?s not yet eveeniing~? the tengu sang. Aya pinched herself.
?But something sexy came right through the dooor?
Shining by the suunlight, it?s a sight could really stop your heeaart!
You?re paralyzed,
By Hatate~! Ha-ta-te~!
You know you love her love her love her love her!!?
?I don?t!? Aya cried.
?You do, and no one is going to save you?
Your libido is fighting, fighting,
For Hata-Hata-Hata-teeee~?
?Damn it, I?m leaving!!? Aya grabbed her papers and rocketed out the window, quickly becoming a mere dot on the horizon.
The tengu stopped singing as soon as she left.
?? Damn, we couldn?t convert her to Hatate-ism.?
???
Marisa and Reimu watched as Alice sipped her sake from where they sat in the Hakurei Shrine?s porch.
?She?s clearly drunk ze.?
?She?s not. Look, her cheeks aren?t even flushed.?
?It?s the lighting that makes them look pale. See, she?s even swaying in her seat da ze!?
?That?s because the Prismriver Sisters are playing.? Reimu sipped her sake.
?That?s what you think! Look at her, just look at her!? Marisa snapped her fingers, and music began to play from her hakkero.
Marisa opened her mouth to sing but Reimu beat her to it. ?There right there! Look at those slim and slender hands, look how steady and poised they are, Alice isn?t drunk, not drunk not drunk, there?s no way she?s un-der the in-flu-ence!?
?I?m not about to agree with that, when even her eyes say she?s plastered, totally plastered!?
?This is an extremely important matter, completely relevant to the party, about whether that cute- blonde magician is amazingly boozed, or, not!?
?Look at her calm and cool demeanor!?
?Look at her shaky and unsteady walk!?
?It?s an eternal my-ster-y, but she?s not drunk, I say not drunk.? growled Reimu.
?But look at the facts we?re seeeein?!? tried Marisa.
?Is she druuuuuuunk--? sang Reimu.
?--Or merely clu-m-sy?? That got Marisa to shut up.
?Ohhh?..?
?Drunk, or only clumsy? It?s hard to get it really, drunk or merely clumsy??? A gap opened up above both girls and Yukari spilled out. The witch and the shrine maiden stared at her.
?Hey don?t look at me!? the gap hag tried.
?You see Alice is really different being a Mak-ai-jin and aaalll~? sang Reimu.
?They do perverted things~? chirped Yukari.
?With sexy swagger and in-ele-gance~!?
?Drunk or merely foreign? This answer could take weeks!?
?They both say things that make you want to? slap them on both cheeks!?
?Please, Alice is drunk!?
?Drunk or just a Makaijin? So many shades of gray!?
?Depending on the time of day, oni go either way~? cheered Suika from the courtyard.
?Shut it!?
?There, look there!? Alice was now staring at them.
?Look at that small and irritating smirk, see it every day at work, that is a sober and clear-headed jerk, I say not drunk, she can?t be drunk!? growled Reimu.
"This is an extremely important matter, is the beauty in that blue suit, amazingly crazily drunk, officially drunk, okay she?s drunk, really drunk drunk drunk drunk--? Alice got up and staggered over to Sakuya, where she suddenly began having a sophisticated conversation with the maid. ??Damn it! Drunk or just real foreign, she?s clumsy but relaxed, is she inebriated or exotic, we think we?ll never know!?
?I think her eyes are red ze??
?But Shinki brought her up real different, there they cry extremely often, it?s not a taboo there, if Alice drops down curls up and starts sobbing!? shouted Yukari.
After several more verses, Marisa finally stood up and approached Alice.
?Hey Alice, gotta talk to you ze.?
?Oh, it?s you. Fine, fire away.?
?You drunk??
?No.?
??. Oh. Oh well, okay then ze.? Marisa turned and headed back to the patio, where Yukari and Reimu watched her expectantly.
?Well??
?? Shut up El Gappo.? Marisa flopped onto the deck and glared at the sky.
......
Done! Goodbye my two-day post streak, I loved you so. First song is based off Thriller, second song is pretty much ripped off of Gay or European. Inspired by Shadow Crystal Mage ( though he doesn't know ) so yeaaah...
I wanted to do the Prismrivers singing 'I Will Survive'...
In my mind, Hatate has a valley-girl accent, but only because she wants to. And Sanae and Hatate are completely platonic buddies.
... So damned rushed...