yaaaaaay updates that took forever to resolve
My statement from before the last chapter still applies. ...even more so, I'd say.
---
Chapter 4Garlyle instinctively blocked his face with his hobo code binder and moved as The RNG leapt at him, legs flailing about as if everything in the immediate vicinity was a scratching post. Chaore reached for his bindlestocking, hoping that he could end this quickly by whacking the cat with some hobo?s Crimbo gifts, but Ruro stopped him from doing so.
?We don?t want the cat dead, just?not trying to kill us,? she cautioned. ?Use something else.?
?Fine, fine,? said Chaore, picking up Sheldon and hurling him at the cat. As Sheldon was a turtle, he wasn?t at all harmed by his subsequent impact with the wall. The fact that he hit the wall in the first place, however, indicated that he?d totally missed The RNG. Chaore said nothing, though the look of irritation on his face was unmistakable.
The upbeat strains of Brawnee?s Anthem of Absorption began to fill the air, and then abruptly ceased as The RNG hopped onto Stein?s head and then used it as leverage to tackle rdj, interrupting his music. The Accordion Thief fell to the floor and banged his elbow on a wooden stool, causing him to wince.
Stein, noting that the panther was preparing to make his friends its next meal, thought about what would stop a fast-moving feline predator from aggressing people.
Okay, so predators eat meat, so should I just throw meat at it until it calms down? Or perhaps, since it?s a cat, I should just roll a ball of yarn on the ground and see how it reacts???Stein, what are you doing just standing there? Help us out here!? shouted Ruro as she brought up the flat of her chrome sword to block the cat from slamming into her face. The RNG rebounded off the sword and descended upon Garlyle, whose hobo code binder wasn?t as good a shield as he thought it would be. The Disco Bandit was getting badly scratched up, but wasn?t making any effort to retaliate. The cat was his familiar, after all, and he was loath to hurt the friend he?d spent all his adventuring with.
As Chaore rushed to help Garlyle out, Stein looked like he had a sudden flash of realization. He calmly walked over to rdj, who was trying to nurse his elbow with a tin of Doc Galaktik?s Restorative Balm, and looked down at him.
?I have a question for you,? asked the Oxygenarian. ?Can you tell me why you?re making this happen, rdj? Really, was this fight necessary??
The Accordion Thief was perplexed, and looked at Stein in confusion. ?What are you talking about??
?This. This whole thing wasn?t necessary at all, was it??
?I don?t follow,? said rdj, picking himself up off the ground. ?Why are you asking me this??
?Oh, I dunno,? Stein answered, in a clearly sarcastic tone. ?Just the fact that we?re not really even here. We?re just ordinary people that you happen to play some game with, aren?t we? And one day you got this crazy idea to write a story about said game, but didn?t know where to take it, didn?t you? So you took the easy way out and wrote about us! And you still don?t know what the heck you?re trying to do with this, so you shoehorned this fight in here!?
rdj was utterly lost at this point, and sighed. ?Something tells me you overworked your spleen today, because I have no clue what you?re??
The Accordion Thief didn?t get to finish his sentence before The RNG leapt off of Garlyle and latched onto his Trickster?s Trikitixa, apparently intending to prevent it from playing any more horrible music. Stein took this opportunity to continue.
?Seriously, you should know better than to introduce a plot device and then try to cover for the fact that you don?t know what to do with it,? he said, shaking his head. ?So let?s start this scene over, all right??
With that, he withdrew
a round, flat, black object from his pocket and swung it at The RNG, apparently scooping him into some pocket dimension. The cat momentarily emerged, looking quite tuckered out and not at all the ball of pain it was a moment ago. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief, glad that there wouldn?t be any further damage to the basem?
?NOOOO!? cried Garlyle as he crawled over to his familiar, still very much in pain. ?That battle?since we were fighting him, I?I think it counted as fighting without him at my side!?
Ruro raised an eyebrow. ?Is it that big a deal? People fight without their familiars all the time.?
?I was read a fortune once,? answered Garlyle, petting his now-calm black cat. ?It stated that if one goes through all their battles with a black cat at their side, something wonderful happens. ?I?m not going to get to see that wonderful thing in this lifetime, though?? he muttered, hanging his head.
?I see?? said Ruro, now understanding the man?s despair. ?It?s not the end of the world, though; you still have each other, don?t you?? When she received a shallow nod in response, she continued, ?Good, so you know what matters. Friends matter more than treasure or fortunes.?
Looking around at the basement, the Disco Bandit realized that The RNG had used up their prototype diving potion. She sighed and quickly came up with a new course of action.
?We?ll need to make more potions before we can do anything else about the Mer-kin. rdj, get Garlyle to the infirmary and start patching him up, then try to fix all those holes in your accordion. Arashi can help if you need it. Stein, you?re coming with us to pick up a few things??
