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This fic serves 2 purposes:
- Experimenting with a first-person POV
- Why the hell do we still have so little UFO backstory fiction?
More has been written, but for now I'll test the water.
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A lot of humans assume by default that youkai are extremely intelligent. That they have the brain to go along with their brawn, and that they're capable of useful, witty conversation.
More often than not, they're wrong. While there are occasional youkai who are particularly knowledgable, in general they're about as smart as your average wild animal. As such, you end up getting your typical packs joining together for the sake of group interest, the only conversation usually being an unpleasant grunt if the guy across from you is cutting into your share of the meat. It's a happy enough existence, if a brutal one.
But group interest or not, every pack has a leader. Without someone in power to look up to the system would collapse entirely. It doesn't matter if it's because they're stronger or smarter - there has to be an alpha male in every pack.
That, in short, was my role. As the eldest and most trusted of my people, I was wordlessly dubbed the leader of my own little tribe of youkai. I was the highest of the band of tigers.
A shining star amongst my people, so to speak. Not that a mere beast was anywhere near smart enough to appreciate that sort of imagery...
---
"Gao~!"
I let out a triumphant roar as I led the tribe onward. It was business as usual for us, moving on victorious after feasting on a passing pack of deer. The ground shook slightly as nearly twenty tigers moved together, steps in perfect unison and their stomachs much fuller than an hour ago. It was a sight to frighten away even the bravest of men.
"Rawrr!"
An angered cry from one of my followers. I tilted my head slightly, seeing one of the young cubs breaking towards the pack in my direction. His green eyes had a flame of rage encased behind them.
I growled lightly to show I was listening.
"Grr....grarrl!"
He started biting furiously at some sort of invisible snack, before turning his head to a smug-looking cub hanging at the back of the group. There was a tell-tale strand of meat hanging in his teeth, and his walk had a notable pride.
It would take a human a whole sentence to pass on this message - 'That guy over there stole my meat!'. To us, all that was necessary was a growl and a glare. Ugly, but efficient. I nodded, allowing it to slip back into his place before I acted.
I stopped. Immediately everyone behind me froze in their tracks, sitting upright. They knew I would not stop them if there was not a transgression to point out. Turning, I could see dozens of eyes looking towards me with respect. Looking back, I think my heart must have risen a little - it shouldn't have, not with the mind of an animal, but it did anyway.
Maybe that was the first sign, but I didn't notice it then.
A slow, deliberate walk into the midst of the waiting tigers. They shifted to the side without being ordered to - my intent was obvious from my body language alone. I could see the thief's eyes widen, and he paused slightly before moving out of my way.
That was enough to confirm what I'd been told. The innocent have no reason to worry.
I stopped and stared him down with my own golden eyes. He shuddered visibly, almost stepping back out of fear. Every member of the pack was watching us, either in anticipation or out of a hope that the tense atmosphere would come to a stop.
I raised a paw, and in a single clean swipe slashed marks into the thief's face.
He roared in pain, slipping backwards wincing as blood started to spill down his cheek. But he had no intention of fighting back. The point had been made, and the whole pack were witnesses to it.
I nodded to the criminal. He shook a little, but eventually returned a nod in response. As intent as I was to punish transgressions, I was not willing to reduce my numbers based on a mere tablescrap. The injury was all I was going to enforce upon him. It would be enough to convince him to keep to his own share of the food.
I turned again, to the tribe who had watched my judgement. I raised my head, giving off another mighty roar to show that all was well.
"Gaooo~!"
"""Gaooooo~!"""
The pack roared with me. We were siblings, blood ties or no. Each of us would give our life for the sake of the pack.
Which I would end up doing far sooner than I had intended.
-
Okay screw it, I'm putting up the second part anyway. >_>
-----
As tiger youkai, each of us would normally have been strong enough to take on any hunter that would dare to oppose us. So logically there wasn't even any need for us to stay together - we could easily have stayed alive on our own.
But each and all of us had an enemy in common. One we feared, one none of us could hope to take on single-handed. One who took up residence far too close to our territory for us to be comfortable.
Our enemy was a god.
We had no name for Him, but He was known among humans as Vaisravana. A god of fortune, but at the same time a warrior willing to punish any who acted against His will. Our resting place had an old, worn-down statue of Him, gripping tightly at His spear and taunting us with the pagoda in His hand.
We liked to take turns urinating on the statue. It was about all we could do in terms of acting against Him - He was a god, after all, and none of us had powers that could match the divine.
When our prowling path passed the temple built in His honour, we all became tense on instinct alone. There was fear, panic that one day He'd come down on us and strike us all down with that foreboding spear of His. Some of the younger tigers stopped in their tracks, almost wanting to turn tail and run.
I held back the urge, staring up the staircase leading to the temple with anger in my eyes. If a god were to have a fight with us, I would fight against Him with every ounce of energy I had, and then some. As long as it gave my brothers a chance to run.
I blinked, my eyes misting up slightly. For a moment it seemed almost as if someone standing at the top of the staircase. From this distance, though, it was only a pale grey dot, so I couldn't be certain.
I moved onward, not wanting to hang around here for any longer than I had to. I was unable to make out the figure at the temple, let alone the pale red eyes she was observing me with.
"...Interesting. There's potential there..."
---
Dusk quickly fell, and the pack retreated to its usual hiding place. We rested at a small cave roughly ten minutes walk from the temple, ensuring that even a god could not take us by surprise.
Already we were tired from our prowling, and most of us were happy to rest. A rota of night-watch was quickly determined, and as the first and youngest of our cubs stood guard what remained of us helped ourselves to a well-deserved slumber.
Most of us, at least. I tried to, that was for certain, but it was this night in particular that something rather unusual came to me.
A thought.
--I'm tired.
I jolted awake, convinced for a moment there was a hunter in the cave.
It was an experience that I was unable to describe in any way - not through a growl, nor through a cold glare. Not even with a turn of my head or stamp of my paw. It was very much unlike anything I had ever done before.
There was a voice. In my head.
What's going on...?
There it was again. My eyes scanned the cave, looking for any source of sound. All that surrounded me were the sleeping bodies of my fellow tigers. Nothing that could produce a voice like this.
Maybe there's a bird on my he-
"Gao!?"
A few of those lying nearby shook a little in their sleep, nearly awoken by my outcry.
I-It's me! I'm the voice in my head!
Humans take the concept of free thought for granted. Up until now, my way of life had simply been 'eat, sleep, repeat' - I'd never thought about it or considered it. And now, suddenly, I'd almost evolved to a point that none of my fellow brethren would be able to recognise.
Most would have considered this a magnificent transformation. Me?
I-I'm nuts! I'm going nuts!
Not so much.
I'm going crazy...talking to myself like this. I should be sleeping for the hunt tomorrow...
I started walking in circles, staying quiet to keep the pack asleep. My mind was racing - for the first time ever, no less.
There was one other disadvantage to being able to think freely - your mind naturally jumps to things you don't want to think about.
Ah...what if someone tries to wake me up in the morning?! If they get too close, they might...they might find out that-
But my internal monologue was interrupted by a yelp of fear.
"Rawr!!"
Whatever was happening to me, my primal instincts weren't dulled in the slightest. That sort of cry from the guard could mean only one thing.
Danger!
-
Really interesting point of view!
I never really thought what would it be like to suddenly to able to think...
Look forward to seeing what happens next.
-
One person interested is officially enough. Plus, well, I like this idea and wanna keep going with it. :3
---
I was lucky in that I was already awake, and I dashed over to the mouth of the cave. The cub who'd been watching had charged ahead, ready to take out the threat himself. I had confidence in him - he was one of us, so nothing besides Vaisravana himself should have been able to stop him.
"Alright, big kitty. Stay down or something."
A voice came from the distance - the sound of our target. It was a girl, apparently not a very happy one either. For a moment I wondered if our overambitious cub had just decided to take a midnight snack as I heard him pounce.
Then he flew past the mouth of the cave as an impact sounded, and I decided I was thoroughly mistaken.
By now the rest of the pack had awakened, still woozy but generally aware. They'd realised they were a member short, and turned to me for answers. I was too busy poking my head out of the cave to answer, observing the monster that had sent one of our warriors flying for a good twenty feet.
The grey dot from earlier...!?
Her outfit certainly matched it - a dull one-piece dress with pink sleeves, and in each hand an overgrown rod with letters hanging at the ends. A pair of large mouse ears poked out the back of her head, and one of her clenched fists was held in front of her - presumably how she'd created such an impact.
Instinct would otherwise have left me drooling over the thought of such an overgrown meal, but I knew full well that right now I was the prey. For the first time I could remember, I was petrified with fear.
The hunter placed her hand back at her side, sighing.
"...Geez. I just wanna talk, that's all."
...?
I tilted my head a little. Apparently whatever deity there was up there had decided that all good surprises come in twos, and that thinking for myself wasn't all I'd learn to do tonight.
She...wants to talk?
The day before, I had viewed the sounds of other youkai as indecipherable - a language I couldn't speak or understand. Now, though, it seemed almost as if this new voice in my head was translating for me, and suddenly I could understand this girl's words clear as day.
I'm dreaming, obviously. Right? ...Right?
The mouse took steps towards me, scratching behind one of her ears. I could make out a strange blue pendant hanging around her neck, which seemed to almost be glowing as she approached. I looked back, seeing 38 frightened eyes looking at me.
My head said that if we had no chance of winning we may as well try anyway and go down fighting. More than likely this girl was a servant of Vaisravana, and that meant she was dead meat to us.
But once again, the new voice in my head spoke up, offering me a point of view which I'd never stopped to consider before.
...Why do I hate Vaisravana again?
I'd taken it for granted before. Simply assumed He was trying to get in on my territory. Had I ever stopped to consider that maybe He wasn't out to get me after all? That maybe He was a decent enough God, at least good enough to leave me al-
"You with the dumb face. Who's in charge here?"
The voice was directed to me. I resented the 'dumb face' comment, but it was enough to bring me back to my senses.
...We should at least try to talk. We don't really have any other choice...
I looked back, giving my fellow tigers a slight nod. It was the symbol to assemble, and although they seemed uncomfortable with it they trusted me enough to comply. As always, I stood slightly in front of the group to show my dominance. The mouse bit her lip.
"...Huh. Wouldn't have guessed otherwise."
I didn't understand what exactly she meant by that. Maybe she had a voice in her head too. Behind me, I could hear my pack growling, ready to pounce at any moment. Our target didn't seem threatened, only annoyed.
"Look. I'll make this simple. I'm with Vaisravana."
It was a good thing no-one else had a clue what she was saying, because otherwise twenty tigers would have been laying into her right now. It was best not to let them know - pointless bloodshed wasn't the answer here.
"And, well, we kinda screwed up with you guys. You're scared, and that's bad for all of us. So I'm here to offer a deal."
I heard some of my fellows behind me lowering, growling unpleasantly. The girl's uninterested expression did little to earn their trust. They would not attack her, though - not without my command, and as yet it remained ungiven.
Assuming that the offer was reasonable, it would stay as such.
"We want the best outta you youkai to join us. Pledge loyalty Vaisravana. You get to work alongside a god, and we get faith from the rest of the pack."
"Gh-"
I cut my cry short, struggling not to show my shock to my fellow tigers.
Recruitment?!
"You're probably too out of it to know, but Vaisravana's pretty fond of tigers. You're getting a great offer here."
I pondered what sort of use a god could have for a mere tiger youkai. Pet? Mascot? Bodyguard? Considering He already had subordinates like this mouse, the last option seemed unlikely. And what sort of god was Vaisravana anyway? He had simply been an enemy to us before, we'd never taken the time to determine why.
The mouse used her rods as a balance, planting them on the ground in front of her and leaning on them. She yawned. Apparently she'd been intending to get some sleep around now as well.
"You guys have a right to refuse, sure. But then we're just stuck in the same position with you scared shitless of us and us not getting worship from you. It's win-win, really."
She tapped a finger on the rod incessantly, bored out of her skull. She had no guarantee any of us could even understand her, so it was reasonable. In fact, if she'd come to us with this offer yesterday we'd have probably had nothing to do with it.
It was an incredible, miraculous coincidence.
Maybe even...divine.
I weighed the options in my head - pretty difficult for a first-timer. Without a doubt I'd have to go - for all I know I'd advanced like this because I was meant to go. The pack would lose its leader, yes, but they'd likely react as if I'd died in battle - everyone simply moved up a rank. There were others who could take my place.
And if I refused? Then nothing. The same old day, same old hunt, same old trudge back to the cave to rest before repeating the same over and over again. It was my life. It was all I knew.
And suddenly, I didn't want it anymore.
A new wave of perspective came over me - the thought of living the same day over and over was sickening. So boring, so pointless - was that any sort of life at all?
There was no choice whatsoever. As I was now, I'd go mad trying to go back to how I was before. This wasn't just the right choice for the pack - it was the right choice for me, as well.
"Anything going on behind those shiny eyes of yours, or can I just go home now?"
A hint of irritation slipped into the mouse's voice. I'd taken longer to think the situation over than I'd planned. Startled, I nodded.
"Good to hear. Then you'd better tell your friends that you're leaving."
The tigers behind me may have not understood the conversation between us, but they were able to see that my shoulders had slumped slightly. Even if it was the right thing to do, saying goodbye to the family I'd known my whole life was still painful.
It dawned on me that I had no way to tell them I was going to work for Vaisravana. The concept of leaving your pack for the sake of a god was one I couldn't put in terms they could comprehend.
So I passed on the closest thing I could. It was a technical truth at best, but it was all that would work. I made complicated movements and gestures, realising at last that body language had its own limits.
In the end, I told them that I was offering myself as a sacrifice to appease Vaisravana, and as a result He would smile down on us from now on. Initially there were responses of shock, and one of the cubs nearly attacked mouse-girl in retaliation, but slowly the realisation dawned on them that this was clearly in the tribe's best interest. One life in order to earn the favour of a god? Those were fantastic odds.
As each of them came to terms with the plan, they hung their heads as they faced me. This was a ritual we performed for our fallen - what is known in human terms as a 'funeral'. Perhaps they simply saw it fitting to do it now, since I would never return to the pack again.
I saw one cub still uncertain. The scars from this morning's incident still hung on his cheek. I had dug in deeper than intended - that sort of wound could possibly remain for months, maybe years. Perhaps it was respect that left him so unwilling to accept my passing - or perhaps it was fear of whoever would take my place. Regardless, he slowly bowed his head along with the rest.
Then, in sync, the rest of the pack let off a quiet moan.
"Gaoooo~...."
It was a final farewell to me. A farewell to their fallen leader, never to return. I could feel my eyes watering as pride and sorrow began to well up in me at once. It was a new feeling, a bittersweet happiness that no experience afterward would be able to match.
Everyone...goodbye...
And with that, our ties were broken. I turned to the mouse girl (now nearly on the verge of sleeping where she stood) and gave one last nod. I noticed the pendant getting brighter still as I approached.
I'm ready.
She mumbled something beneath her breath, shaking herself awake. Looking down on me she seemed as bored as ever.
"So it was you. Who'd have thought?"
If this was surprise on her part, she didn't seem very emotional about it. Lifting her rods from the ground, she started on the path back to the old temple. I followed briskly, occasionally looking back at the ever-shrinking sight of my former pack.
Memories ran through my head, memories of the years we had spent together. My life from child to leader of the pack, a long line of hunts and fights. I was slightly offput when I finally noticed how similar many of them were, but regardless they were still valuable to me.
In a way, it was better that I left like this. They were in the dark about what had happened to me - how this night had changed me.
And...better yet, they don't know about that either.
I couldn't see them anymore, not even as dots on the horizon. Looking forward again, I saw the stairs leading up to the rickety temple which was supposedly to be my new home. They'd never seemed so welcoming before.
That night signified my death, the night the eldest and most trusted member of the tiger youkai passed on.
But beyond that, it was a rebirth. The beginning of a new life.
Of my newfound alliegance to Vaisravana.
-
Really interesting perspective.
But one thing makes me wonder how fits a abstract concept like a god in such a simple mind?
-
But one thing makes me wonder how fits a abstract concept like a god in such a simple mind?
I always assumed they'd just assume He was someone really, really powerful, and as such they'd be terrified of him.
Anyway, 1:30 AM update~
---
It was a good few minutes climb to reach the temple, and I was unused to this concept of stairs. My paw never seemed to find a fitting place, the step always being too small for me to get a proper grip on it. I could still feel the dust on the stone, though - this path was clearly an unpopular one. Whether that was the fault of my fellow tigers or Vaisravana I couldn't be sure.
"Finding it hard?"
The mouse again spoke very matter-of-factly. There was no sign of genuine sympathy in her voice, though I hadn't seen much emotion from her in general. She observed my paws, seeing them slip and slide with every step.
"I guess I have no right to talk. I got carried all the way up here my first time."
She looked away, apparently not having anything else to talk about. Or maybe she just saw no point in having a one-sided conversation with a tiger. Regardless, we finished the trek to the temple in silence.
Any grandeur the building had from a distance was lost as I approached it. Windows were boarded up and broken, and moss had run across the walls unchecked. Was I honestly meant to believe that this place could support life at all?
The mouse reached out to the entrance screen. I half-expected it to tear in her hand, but apparently it at least still worked properly. The entrance chamber was about as misused as the outside would have suggested, but its resident didn't seem to care in the slightest. She tip-toed across broken pieces of ceramic and torn, tattered manuscripts to make it further inside. With twice as many feet, I wasn't able to make the journey quite as quickly, and she was generous enough to move on without me.
I get the feeling I'm not going to like this girl...
"Hijiri, I've brought him."
My heart jumped. Sometimes this whole higher thinking thing wasn't good for you. Hearing people talk about me like that made me feel a little ill now that I was aware of it...
"Oh, excellent. You're certain he's the one Vaisravana chose?"
Another voice entered the fray. An older sounding woman, whose voice was strangely calming whatever tone she was using. Even as I heard her speak, my awkwardness regressed slightly.
Eventually, traversing the labyrinth of dropped and broken valuables I made it into the main prayer room of the temple. It at least had been given a little more care than its neighbours - there was nothing to step on, and the walls seemed to have been cleaned fairly recently. The mouse was nodding to who I assumed was the owner of the other voice - a woman whose form I had to stand still and observe momentarily.
Her hair was the first thing to stand out - it started at a light-brown near the bottom, but as it rose it faded more and more into a murky purple. Her eyes, a light shade of brown, seemed devoid of any malice, almost childishly so. Her dress was particularly unusual - black and white, with black strips along the middle and white along the sleeves. The cape on her back seemed unnecessary, but it completed the outfit nonetheless.
I didn't have much experience with other youkai, but even I could tell that this woman was incredibly beautiful.
She turned to me, and her face seemed to brighten instantly. It was a youthful smile, the sort that no-one could avoid catching if they were faced with it head on. I, of course, was no exception. A tiger's smile may not be as enticing as a person's, but it was an unusual thing for me to do. Just being in this woman's presence made me feel more relaxed, more at home.
"Oh, here he is now. Good evening to you, tiger-kun."
She walked over to me, calmer and more relaxed than any creature ever had before. The instinct to tear her to pieces was still strong at that point, but the gentle presence she gave off forced that thought into the back of my head, never to be seen again. She rubbed her hand along my head, scratching me behind my ears. I purred - it was a pleasant experience I'd never had before.
"I hope it wasn't difficult to bring you here - I understand Nazrin is hardly the best negotiator, but she has the best intentions in mind. She's difficult to understand, but she'll certainly grow on you."
The girl in question had waited for her superior to start fondling me before pulling away another screen into what were presumably living quarters. Wasting no time in getting some shuteye, it seemed.
"Ah, but where are my manners?"
She stood straight up, bowing with a surprisingly mature strictness.
"I am Byakuren Hijiri, faithful servant of the great Vaisravana. It's a pleasure to meet you."
She held out a hand in front of my face. Now I realise she was probably hoping I'd offer a paw in some sort of handshake, but at the time I didn't understand the gesture and licked her palm instead. Byakuren giggled slightly as she pulled her hand back.
"Ehehe...so that's how your kind says hello, is it? I've never worked with tigers before, so this is a learning experience for me as well."
Her laidback nature didn't seem to fit given where she was. This sort of woman seemed the type to be trying her best to find a husband and have kids, not take vows and live in some ascetic monastery.
I looked around the room more carefully. There was an altar in the centre of the room, on which was standing a statue nearly identical to the one my pack had been desecrating faithfully for years. This one had been kept in good condition, though - now Vaisravana's spear seemed outright deadly, and the stone pagoda He was holding almost seemed to shine.
"Gao?"
But where's the man Himself?
I let off a puzzled growl. Byaku followed my eyes, seeing me stare at the effigy. Understanding ran across her eyes, and she nodded to me.
"Ah, eager to get on with it, I see. Well, like they say, no time like the present~"
Byakuren walked over to the altar, standing just next to a small depression in the floor. She motioned towards it with her finger, and still being fluent in body language I took it as a cue to take my place there. I sat in the spot, feeling an unusual warmth almost coming from the floor itself.
Byakuren clasped her hands together, muttering some sort in incantation under her breath. As she opened her hands back out, something began to emerge in the air between them - a scroll whose characters seemed to float on invisible paper. Extending it until it was as long as she was tall, she held it upright and began to recite from it. Her eyes focused intently on the scroll, her brow furrowing. Any sign of her earlier laid-back attitude was gone - she was clearly a devoted servant to her god, and she had the skill and work-effort to match.
"God of fortune, punisher of the wicked, ruler of the north! I, your humble servant Byakuren Hijiri, ask of thee to show us your divine and almighty form!"
There was determination oozing from every word as sweat started to run down her face. This ordeal seemed to be draining the energy from her - calling on a god was a costly process, I thought to myself. The statue in front of me began to shimmer slightly.
"I ask thee to look down upon this faithful and trustworthy youkai, and bestow upon them the powers to act as a worthy disciple! Vaisravana, in the name of the three treasures, heed my prayer!"
There was a moment of silence as Byakuren's words trailed off, the last sentence coming out as nearly a yell.
The ground began to shake.
"G-Gao!?"
It was like a quake had decided to strike at this room and this room alone. Fear nearly drove me to flee, but Byakuren's hand was soon on my back again.
"Don't worry. You're perfectly safe."
And I believed her. I was unable to think this woman could speak anything but the utmost truth, and stood steadfast in place.
Sure enough, within a few seconds the rumbling had come to a halt. There was a humming coming from in front of me, and opening the eyes I hadn't even realised I'd slammed shut I once again looked at the statue.
And looking down upon me, with the same cold and powerful stare I remembered Him having, was Vaisravana.
-
I was just wondering how he comes to the term "god" but that was before I realised that the story is written in retrospective.
Now I'm curious what your interpretation of Vaisravana will look like.
-
By the name of the three treasures, I am very interested in this.
-
Yes this update is longer than usually, mainly because I wanted to get this big segment resolved in one shot~
---
A fitting word for the experience doesn't come to mind even now. All I can offer is what you would need to go through in order for you to feel the same.
Imagine that you owned a chair. It was worn down and beaten, but generally you ignore it and simply make do with the other pieces of furniture you own.
If someone were to click their fingers and your chair transformed into a genie, then you would probably be able to relate with how I felt seeing that statue of Vaisravana look down on me.
His eyes shone with a faint blue light, but His expression was as severe and determined as ever. His grip on the spear tightened, ready to strike me down at any moment, and a light red aura ran across His sculpted robes. The pagoda in His hand now let out a magnificent light, bouncing off every wall in the room. Byakuren's hand on my back drained away my feelings of fear, and I felt something different rising up in me as I witnessed His newfound greatness. A feeling I was not used to feeling for others, but others were often more than willing to give me.
It was respect.
He blinked once, observing me intently. His mouth slid open, as a powerful voice resonated throughout the hall.
"I am Vaisravana. God of fortune. Guardian of the north. Punisher of the unjust."
My heart shook a little at those words. Spoken with such authority, such power, I felt like I was back at the bottom of the food chain all over again. I unconsciously bowed my head toward the god as a sign of honour. It was the first time I had ever felt such genuine humility toward another being.
"I can see your heart, child. I see your honesty, your loyalty, and your passion for justice - all signs of an excellent apprentice. Clearly, my servant has chosen well."
"G-Gao..."
Was I blushing? I didn't even think I could blush. Youkai are weird like that.
"Aw, tiger-kun. You're so cute when you're nervous~"
I-I'm not nervous! Really!
Byakuren giggled again, stroking me down my back. I held in a purr with some effort.
Vaisravana's face lightened for a moment. A smile slid across His face momentarily, but he was soon back to His typical stern self.
"Know this - though I am a god, I am not omnipresent. There are many other temples who would call on me, so it is becoming necessary to train those resident to the area to act as my disciples. To spread the glory of Vaisravana, to bring punishment upon the villains and fortune to the just."
He looked straight at my eyes, and maybe even through them - inspecting my insides, determining my worth.
"Child - can I ask this of you? I see a great potential in you..."
I had been intending to accept the offer long beforehand out of tedium, but in the short time I'd seen Him in the stony flesh it had changed entirely. Nazrin had been impressive, and Byakuren likely stronger still, but both paled in the face of a god. In terms of power and righteousness, He was like nothing I had ever seen before. Even being in his presence filled me with awe.
And, along with it, a desire to become like him.
"Gao!"
I nodded my head excitedly, not taking a moment to pause. If the other tigers saw me as their idol, then Vaisravana had just become mine.
"Excellent! Such enthusiasm shall get you far. Now, let me bestow upon you a pair of gifts..."
He raised the spear slightly, His grip growing stronger still. His eyes closed, a familiar look of determination rising on his face.
He slammed the spear's end on the floor, sending a wave of golden light along the ground. I could see something take shape in front of me, fading into existence at Vaisravana's feet. It was a light orange ornament in the shape of a lotus.
"This is an enchanted headdress. Determined as you may be, it will be easier for you to perform your duty in a somewhat more...practical form."
He raised His spear once again, and this time as He slammed down a green circle swept across the floor. Next to the headdress lay a smaller version of the jeweled pagoda that Vaisravana himself held, though duller and with no light coming from within.
"This pagoda is the source of your power. I trust my servants will be able to teach you its ways, and how to harness my strength to be yours. It may be a difficult task, but I have faith in you."
I nodded once again, smiling.
I'll do by best, Vaisravana-sama!
He smirked one last time.
"It is pleasing to see such ambitious youths here. I wish you the best of luck."
The aura began to fade, and in a matter of seconds the room was once again as it was. The only sign of Vaisravana's presence was the pair of artifacts lying in front of me.
Behind me, Byakuren applauded.
"Congratulations, tiger-kun! I've never seen Him praise anyone so on their first meeting!"
I was blushing again, I knew it. I saw Byakuren slip in front of me and pick up the headdress, ready to place it on my head.
"Well, let's get started. I wonder what you look like as a human~?"
Time froze for an instant.
...Human? That thing is gonna make me...human!?
I leapt away on instinct. Byakuren's eyes widened, puzzled, as she looked across at me.
"Eh? What's wrong, tiger-kun?"
I was shaking, uncontrollably. I knew enough about humans to know that putting that thing on was a bad, bad idea. Unfortunately I'd caught myself in a corner, and as Byakuren slowly walked towards me with the artifact in hand I noticed there was no way out.
"Aw...nothing wrong with being a little pretty, tiger-kun. Don't be so prideful~!"
I-It's not like that! Seriously, I can't wear that thing!
I didn't want to bite her - she clearly didn't know how bad this idea was - but I couldn't think of another way to get rid of her. I had to come up with something quick, something she wouldn't predict-
Pat.
"Gao?"
Clearly I still didn't have the whole 'quick thinking' thing sorted out, because while I'd been coming up with a plan Byakuren had ample time to plop the lotus on my head.
"There we go! Now, this may hurt a little..."
I looked up at it for a few seconds, puzzled. I wondered if it was metaphorical, some sort of symbol of my new life under Vaisravana. Was it a test of some sort, perhaps?
Then the headache started, and I decided it was very literal.
"Gaooo..."
I...need to lie down a little...
The strength in my legs ebbed away, and I let myself slide onto the floor. My body lost all feeling, as if it was no longer my own. My eyes slipped shut, on the verge of sending me into a deep slumber.
Then, suddenly, pain. Everywhere.
"G-GAOOO!"
Burning. Burning burning burning. Fire in my blood, on my skin, on my fur, in my eyes, everywhere. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, I couldn't move. Was this a trick, a trap? Did they mean to kill me after all?
"S-Stay strong, tiger-kun! It'll be over soon!"
Byakuren's concerned words echoed in my ears, almost unheard over my own cry of agony. I grit my teeth. She seemed as shocked as I was at the intensity of the pain, and that was enough to convince me to fight on.
I can't...let them down...!
Admist the pain, I felt something else seeping into me from the headdress. It was power, in its rawest form, starting at the top of my head and flowing through me. My body almost seemed to shift as it moved through me. As it passed through the pain changed for an instant, the feeling of every hair on my body being torn away save a small section of my head - and then it was gone.
As this new strength finished its journey around my body, I hugged myself in relief and congratulations. I felt cold, but the passing of the pain was enough to keep my mind off of it. Looking down, I realised just what I was doing - I saw a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders and I realised they were my own.
"I-I'm..."
As human words slipped out of my mouth for the first time, the logical continuation of the voice in my head, I realised the transformation was complete. I was bare, exposed for all the world to see.
"...human..."
Byakuren applauded again.
"Well done, tiger-kun! I knew you could-"
She cut herself off. She took a look at my body more carefully, shock slowly registering in her eyes.
"...oh. Oh, my. You're a..."
I hung my head in shame, blushing furiously. I felt disgraced, ashamed, humiliated. My secret - the one thing I'd kept from even my own pack - had been revealed at last.
"...Yes," I muttered, beneath my breath. "I'm no tiger."
I wept quietly.
"I'm a tigress."
---
At the time, hiding it had been a mechanical response, one to prolong my life and improve my social standing. As the years passed I eventually assumed the problem solved, and it wasn't until tonight that the old insecurities rose back to the surface.
And in a matter of hours, everything had come tumbling apart.
Byakuren bit her lip for an instant, but eventually sighed.
"...It seems I made a mistake. I must ask for your forgiveness."
"...Huh?"
I lifted my head in surprise, eyes watering. Why was she apologising to me? I had been the liar, and the proof was right here. Hanging from my chest, plain as day - two mounds of flesh that a man was never meant to have.
Despite that, Byakuren stepped over to me, still smiling, and stretched out a hand.
"Come on, tiger-chan. I've got some nightrobes you can wear for now."
I looked blankly at the hand. I convinced myself that it was an illusion, that no-one would be so kind to a liar like me. That now she saw me for the weak young girl I was that I'd be cast out again and Vaisravana's wrath would fall upon me for my falsehood.
I blinked once. The hand was still there.
"It's alright. I understand, and it's okay. You can stop hiding it now."
Byakuren's patience and kindness were seemingly infinite, holding by me regardless of whatever weakness I seemed to show. It was too incredible, too good to be true. I'd never seen dedication like this in the wild, even between father and son.
Still, as I leapt into her arms sobbing, I was more grateful for it than I could imagine. My once proud war cry descended into a pathetic wimper.
"Gaoooo...I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..."
My tears slipped onto her dress as I held my head against her breast. She wrapped her arms around me in a delicate embrace.
"There, there. Let's get you to bed for now. You've had a long day."
She led me through to the living quarters, into one of the small bedrooms the temple had to offer. There was little beyond a bed and a solitary table with a mirror on it, but right now that was all I wanted. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror, seeing that no sign of my old form remained other than my hair - blonde with streaks of black running through it - and my eyes, as bright and golden as they had always been.
Leaving me on my own for a few short seconds, Byakuren brought a simple black nightgown from her own room and offered it to me. I slipped it on, still unused to the feel of cloth against my skin instead of fur, as my teary outburst died down. Being in the presence of someone who cared to this extent was a relief in itself, and my composure returned far sooner than if I'd simply been left alone. I sat on the bed, turning away.
"I...I'm sorry. I've already been a burden to you, haven't I?"
I tried to make it come out light-hearted, but my voice betrayed me. Byakuren smiled regardless, sinking to her knees to look at me eye-to-eye.
"Don't hold it against yourself. It's always rough at the beginning. Nazrin was very similar in that regard, and she recovered from it. In a few weeks it will pass and you'll feel right at home here."
I forced a smile. I wanted to believe what she was saying, desperately so. She seemed so kind, so genuine, I couldn't believe she simply wanted to comfort me. She honestly believed that I would enjoy my time here.
"And...it doesn't matter? I'm not going to get struck by lightning or anything for not being a brave manly hero?"
"Of course not, tiger-chan. Man or woman, you still have the promise Vaisravana spoke of. There is no reason for you to be ashamed."
I clenched my fist unconsciously.
"Um...could you stop calling me tiger-chan? It's sort of impersonal..."
"Ah, sorry. It's just that you don't appear to have any name of your own, and..."
Byakuren's eyes turned away from me, looking out of the room's solitary window. I followed her gaze, looking out into the clear night sky.
A single star shone brighter than the rest, earning the attention my newfound fellow disciple.
"...Beautiful, is it not? It reminds me of you, in a lot of ways..."
She looked back to me, a new confidence running across her face as she stood straight.
"You were trusted, loved by your people, weren't you? You were a beacon to them, a shining star to your little ring of tigers."
The metaphor took a while to sink in, but eventually I nodded.
"I-I guess..."
"Then that's what I'll call you."
She stood straight, bowing to me again.
"Star of the tiger circle - Shou Toramaru. Does that sound good to you?"
The words ran through my head. I let the name slip out of my mouth silently a few times.
...Shou. Shou. Shou.
That was me. That was my name. That was who I was. Not the strongest of the tigers, not the latest follower of Vaisravana. I was Shou Toramaru.
"It...has a nice ring to it," I finally managed to spit out.
Byakuren grinned.
"Wonderful! I thought you'd like it."
She ruffled my hair slightly as she took a step towards the door.
"Now, get some rest. We'll start your training tomorrow, so for now you should take it easy."
I nodded, feeling better already as I slipped beneath the covers.
"Right. ...Thank you."
Byakuren shook her head.
"No need for thanks, Shou-chan. Good night."
"Good night, Hijiri-sama."
Byakuren carefully slid the door closed, leaving me to myself for the rest of the night. By now there were likely only a few hours until the morning, so I decided it was worth getting all the sleep I could muster.
"...I owe them. I owe them a lot."
Both of these people had offered me something new in these hours. Vaisravana had been an idol, a goal to strive for. Byakuren had been a solace, a shoulder to cry on. In their own way, they'd each managed to offer me something I'd never experienced before.
"I can't let them down. I won't let them down."
Bring on this training of yours. It's the least I can do to pull it off, right?
Determination began to rise up in me. I needed to get all the sleep I could now if I wanted to get anywhere - no point in showing up for training tomorrow almost unconscious.
Sleep came quickly, and peacefully. The last thought that passed through my mind was an endeavour to please both of them in return for what they'd offered me.
It was only fair, after all.
---
tl;dr - Oh, snap. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Bifauxnen)
-
Hm, I wonder how she managed to keep the other tigers confused. Meh, I'll just file that under magic.
I'm enjoying this piece. Shou needs more love, and I how you portray her sense of duty and competence. And I'm looking forward to see how later events that we know must happen will be portrayed.
-
This story is very yes.
Christ, I don't have any free time to be doin' any reading nowadays :C
-
Dramatic change is dramatic.
Indeed it's so dramatic that it puts the appearance of a god completely in to the background.
-
I have fallen in love like never before with Shou, a deep dramatic on the origins of Shou.
Had I been pondering seriously on writing a fic for Hijiri's origins I would have wanted it to be as detailed and as well written as this in both perspective and creativity.
Therefore, I'd advise you not to look down on your own writing anymore, you are a captivating storyteller, let not others tell you that you are not.
-
When I opened my eyes, there was no ceiling.
I stared lazily at the night sky for a few seconds, my mind not quite grasping that it wasn't meant to be seeing what it was. I glanced to my left, to my right; my room had apparently vanished in my sleep, and there was nothing but a curtain of stars on either side of me. I saw that my body was bare again, the nightgown I'd worn to bed missing. Pressing my hand down, I noticed there wasn't even a bed beneath me anymore. As I tilted my head backwards I could make out a grassy plain beneath me, approaching at a quickening pace. Besides a single dark-blue dot, all I could see was an endless field of green.
I took in all of this with a surprising lack of interest. Logically, I should have been flailing like a maniac, screaming 'OH CRAP OH CRAP WHERE THE HELL DID EVERYTHING GO I'M FALLING' as the ground came closer and closer. I should have been squeezing my eyes shut and hoping that at least I'd die quickly, or praying that someone would grab me out of the air and save me, or some other act of desperation.
All I did was observe the ground beneath me as it grew larger and larger. The dark-blue dot started to expand, turning into a pool of water. I recognised it - my pack's old watering hole, a forgotten lake that we had managed to obtain for ourselves after some scuffles with the surrounding youkai. By now the wind was almost painful as it flew past my face, but I still remained perfectly, impossibly calm.
It looks like I'm going to land in the lake.
Even my thoughts to myself were civil. Nothing like 'Aah, even if it's water I'm moving too fast!' or 'Crap, I don't know how to swim! What do I do!?'. My mind was quiet, content with looking but not really seeing. I was close enough now to see the reflections of the stars on the water, a rippled replica of the sky above. One in particular was shining brighter than the rest, almost impossibly so. Glancing upwards again, I noticed there was no star in the sky shining brighter than any other. My face registered confusion, even if there were no thoughts to go with it.
The water came up on me from behind, and I hit the lake with a heaving splash.
There was no pain from the impact, not even a feeling of coldness as the freezing water ran across my skin. I was observing what was happening to me, but I didn't seem to have any real part in it. My mouth hung open, and a stream of bubbles hung above me as I sank deeper and deeper. The night sky faded into the distance, the lights of the stars dimming until they couldn't be seen any more.
But I could still see.
I tilted my head back again, and I saw that there was a light coming from within the water itself, brighter than any star. It was the light I had seen on the water that hadn't matched the sky, and now I understood why. I felt curiosity, attraction towards it, without bothering to think about meagre things like breathing.
It drew me in. I was as still as ever, but I found myself unnaturally pulled in by the beacon of light. The world around me grew darker and darker, until it became nothing but me and the light in an endless black curtain. Its source started to take shape - a beautiful five-pointed star, glistening like a diamond from every angle. There was something encased within it, and as I approached I realised it wasn't so much something as someone.
She was sitting within the star, her eyes glancing hopelessly upwards. At this depth she wouldn't even have been able to see the surface, and despair seemed to be holding her back. She tried in vain to pound at the side of her prison, but it was too strong for her to break down. I could make out the tears in her eyes as I approached, finally reaching the star that had been calling me towards it. I knocked at the wall to attract her attention.
The girl turned to look at me, and immediately her eyes widened in fear. Her arms wrapped themselves around her chest as she slid cowering into the distant corner. I couldn't hear her, but her mouth moved as if to say 'Don't look, don't look...'. She was ashamed of herself, ashamed of her own appearance. Ashamed of who she was.
I smiled gently.
"It's okay. There's nothing to hide."
I never stopped to think that I shouldn't have been able to speak. I was too busy watching as the girl's expression of fear slowly faded away, and she pulled herself to her feet. She seemed strangely familiar - those golden eyes, with streaks of red from all of her crying, the unkempt hair, blonde with black streaks running down it. I paid it no mind.
She held out her arm, beckoning me with a single finger. She mouthed another sentence to me.
"Don't leave me. Don't leave me alone."
My hand slipped through the wall of the star as if it had never been there, and the rest of my body followed. She seemed surprised by this, but as she came to terms with it she ran towards me with a look of intense relief on her face. I found my arms wrapping around the girl, consoling her as she wept. There was another feeling of deja vu.
"It's alright...you can cry all you want now. You don't have to be strong anymore."
I patted her on the back, doing what I could to be supportive. The rest of the world was gone now - nothing existed beyond the two of us within that star. The girl took a few minutes to weep, and I silently stood vigil, giving her all the time she needed.
Finally, she looked at me. I noticed that we were looking face-to-face - no height difference in the slightest.
"Will you watch over me?"
She spoke with hope and fear, both at once - praying I'd say yes but worrying I'd say no. She was overjoyed as I nodded my head in response.
"Don't worry. I'll always be here for you."
As I held her close again, I started to feel her slip through my fingers. She moved into me, her body sliding into mine naturally. Her thoughts became my thoughts. Her dreams became mine, her hopes became mine. Within seconds, there was only one girl standing within that star.
"Because...I am you--"
---
"Hey."
My eyes jolted open, quickly falling on the overgrown letter E hanging inches from my face. I could just about make out a disapproving face hanging a few feet behind it, its red eyes looking down on me. It was the mouse girl from last night - Nazrin, that was her name.
"Oh, so you're alive after all. The way you were wrestling around there I was thinking you were having some sort of fit."
She pulled the rod away from me, sighing. I was still looking around the room in a panic - yes, this was where I'd gone to sleep the night before; yes, there was still a ceiling; yes, I was still wearing the nightgown that Byakuren had offered me. I murmured to myself, confused.
"What...what was that?"
Memories hung in my head. I remembered falling, falling into a lake, finding a star, seeing myself trapped inside, holding myself - none of it made any sense. What had happened to me!?
"Oh...I get it. You've never dreamt before."
My head tilted as I turned to look at Nazrin.
"Lemme put it this way. When you go to sleep, your brain gets bored waiting for your body to recharge. When it gets bored, it starts playing out little make-believe stories in your head. That's dreaming. I assume you just didn't have enough brain capacity to dream before, but whatever."
She was especially good at throwing in insults to go with her explanations, I had noticed that. Someting about this girl made me feel a little queasy. Slowly I nodded, accepting her explanation.
"Anyway, breakfast is gonna be out in a few minutes. I'm here to warn you so Hijiri won't moan at me for not telling you to get up. Don't go thinking it's anything other than that."
She let herself out, and as the door closed behind her I took a few minutes to grasp exactly what I'd been told.
"So...none of that really happened? But it felt so real..."
I turned my head, flinching when I realised the pillow beneath me was wet. I pulled my head up, seeing a line of salty tears decorating it. The image of the girl in my dream, eyes still wet from all her crying, hung in my head.
When I turned to look in the mirror, I saw the same face looking back at me. There was something else held within it, though - an inner strength, a confidence that the girl had lacked.
I smiled.
"...I'd better get out for breakfast. Don't want to give a bad first impression and all."
I felt strangely refreshed as I stepped out of bed, walking down the corridor in the hope that I could follow Nazrin to the kitchen.
I was no longer the weak, lost girl I'd been the night before, distraught and desperate in Byakuren's arms.
I was Shou Toramaru, faithful servant of Vaisravana.
And no force on earth was going to stop me from paying my dues to Him.
-
Yet another vividly narrated chapter.
<3 the work thus far.
-
I like how you did this story, it caught my attention easily from the start.
That was really nice use of first-person at the beginning.
-
Learn to think and you learn to dream.
Did I already mentioned how amazing this story is?
-
"Hm? That's weird."
In honesty, I wasn't expecting to see Nazrin still in the corridor when I emerged from my room. I'd spent plenty of time contemplating, so I had assumed she would have just gone on to eat by herself. But still, she was only a few feet away from me when I stepped out, a journey that she could have easily made in as many seconds as she'd taken in minutes.
Presumably she was just lazy or something. From what I'd seen of her, she didn't seem to care that much about whether I got lost on the way to breakfast or not. Whatever it was, I was grateful for the direction and trailed behind her towards the temple's kitchen.
It was about as humble as the rest of the temple, and well-kept to the point of being able to sustain life. There were a few clay bowls strewn randomly across the table in the room's centre, the window light falling on them as if they belonged to the Buddha himself. At the back, surrounded by the cheapest ingredients that could be bought, Byakuren was stirring what seemed to be some sort of sloppy gruel. The food seemed thick and on the verge of inedible, but she looked down at her concoction with something resembling pride.
I frowned slightly, having grown up on a diet of meat. Still, my stomach rumbled to remind me I hadn't eaten since yesterday's hunt, so anything was better than nothing. Byakuren, apparently satisfied with having beaten her meal into submission, turned around as she head the two of us enter.
"Ah, good morning to the two of you! Take a bowl and I'll be round in a minute with your helpings."
I nodded, sitting down at the closest chair to me. I presumed Nazrin would just sit at my side for the sake of convenience, but she went out of her way to sit as far away from me as she could. She glanced at me for a short while, her eyes almost weighing up my soul with how deep they stared into me, but the instant Byakuren laid her food down in front of her I was old news. She looked down at her food, bored again, as if I didn't exist.
I can't say that this upset me greatly.
It was my turn to be served next, and Byakuren dropped a heaving dollop of the meal into my bowl. I took a few seconds to examine it - it was grey and lumpy, and as I prodded it with a finger it offered me a surprising amount of resistance. I wasn't sure if I was still hungry anymore.
"Come on now, Shou-chan! Eat up!"
Byakuren, noticing my awkwardness, stood behind me with a proud grin. I found myself caught between the urge to vomit and the desire to not embarrass myself on my first day here.
I-It's not like it'll kill me, right?
I started to bow my head down towards the bowl, sticking my tongue out. I carefully - and as lightly as possible - licked at the mixture lying in front of me.
To my surpise, it tasted of absolutely nothing.
I pulled my head back, looking at my food in shock. Anyone could cook, true, but what normally separated the good chefs from the terrible ones was whether it tasted good or bad. To make food that had no taste at all was a monumental accomplishment - a sign of a genius, though not one whose food would exactly sell. On the other hand, no-one would ever find anything to dislike about it, either.
But of course, all of that was secondary. There was one thought running through my head stronger than the rest.
Well now that we've got THAT concern out of the way, I'm starving!
I dug my hand into the slop, grabbing a handful and lifting it up. These newfound fingers were incredibly handy for the job, and ensured that I managed to fill my mouth with one easy swipe. Byakuren giggled.
"Oh, Shou-chan. I forgot that no-one taught you table manners, didn't I?"
Cheeks bulging with the nondescript slop, I looked up at Byakuren with confusion.
"Mmf?"
She pointed across the table, towards Nazrin. I saw her wielding some sort of utensil to take small pieces of the meal up to her mouth, one at a time. Byakuren then guided my hand to an identical piece of wood at the side of my bowl.
"See this thing, Shou-chan? It's called a spoon."
I raised an eyebrow in confusion as I tried to chew at my food. It was being stubborn, though, and my speech was marred by my mouth being stuffed full.
"Buh wah woo ah wahn too eeh sloeh?"
(For those who don't speak Eatinglish, that's 'But why would I want to eat slower'?)
Of course, this was only a further social no-no, and Byakuren quickly cupped her hand around my mouth.
"No talking with your mouth full~"
As breakfast wore on, I found myself breaking more and more of these rules for eating - don't eat it if it falls on the floor, don't wipe your mouth with the tablecloth, don't start eating until you say out loud that you've humbly received your meal, don't leave the table until everyone else has finished eating even if Nazrin is taking teeny tiny bites and you're sick to death of waiting for her...all of which seemed perfectly reasonable to Byakuren, but completely pointless to me.
As Nazrin finally got to the last few bites of her food, I groaned and rested an elbow on the table, leaning my head onto it.
"You humans have such weird ideas. We tigers just eat and move on, really..."
Byakuren nodded, while shuffling my elbow off of the table. By now she didn't even need to tell me that wasn't allowed - it seemed like she was taking back every other action I made.
"You'll get used to it, don't worry. After all, Nazrin here used to nibble at her food incessantly. She was so loud back then, but now you can barely hear her."
Glancing back at her, I saw Nazrin bow her head slightly at the mention of her. Maybe my eyes were tricking me, but I could have sworn I saw a hint of red on those cheeks of hers.
I didn't take the time to consider it. Everyone else was thanking some unseen person for the meal...was it Vaisravana? Because even if He was incredibly powerful, offering thanks for something He played no part in was sort of overdoing it.
A prod on my back was the sign I'd spent too long thinking this over, knocking me out of my trance. Nazrin was pointing down the corridor, where Byakuren was quickly making her way back to the main hall.
"It's your first time. Don't screw up."
!?
With those words alone I felt a crushing pressure on my shoulders. Nazrin stared blankly at me, unaware of the strength those words held.
I couldn't screw up, could I? I'd been offered so much by these people. A new home, a new life, a break for the day-to-day hunt for survival I used to call 'living'. If I turned around and fell flat on my face now, I'd be letting them down, wasting the effort they'd put into me. I couldn't allow that.
"Y-Yeah, sorry. Thanks, Nazrin."
Offering her a stuttered piece of gratitude, I darted down the corridor to catch up with Byakuren. If I was late I was putting everything in jeopardy, so I couldn't let that happen.
I would succeed. I had to succeed.
Because...if I didn't succeed, didn't that make me a waste of time?
-
I caught up with Byakuren as she stepped into the main prayer hall. The morning light hung on the statue of Vaisravana, and for a moment I almost thought He had returned in person to train me. The lantern I had been left was still in its original place, untouched and forgotten following last night's scandal.
I tried not to let her see I was sweating from my sudden dash to catch up. If there was anything I wasn't used to, it was screwing up - and given I already owed these people, messing up now would just put me further back. I didn't like owing people favours - not out of reluctance to pay them back, but because I didn't like depending on other people. I was a pillar for others to depend on, not the other way around.
"Hmm...I think it should still all be there..."
Byakuren peered into the gap behind the altar, reaching down into it. The first thing she pulled out was a set of what seemed to be robes, a set similar to what Vaisravana Himself wore. It was made of red and orange cloth, with a striped pattern at the waist that reminded me of my old fur. I shivered at the sight of it.
"We can't have you training in that nightrobe of yours. This was meant for a man to wear, but it's...rather baggy. It'll fit you fine."
She handed me the robes before turning back to the altar and digging back into the space between it and the wall.
...I'd better do this quickly.
Watching Byakuren to make sure she didn't turn around, I undid the nightrobe and threw it aside in one swift action. Then came the struggle of pulling the new clothes down onto me, my arms fumbling through the long white sleeves. Sure enough, there was plenty of room in it - whether that meant the clothes were baggy or I was rather flat wasn't a question I felt like dwelling on.
"...Eep."
A murmur came from behind me. My mind froze.
...No. She didn't...
Reluctantly, I tilted my head around to the entrance. The door lay slightly ajar, but despite her best efforts to hide herself a pair of mouse ears were still plainly visible. I bit my lip, blushing.
Just, um...pretend she didn't see anything. M-Move on...
After some struggling, Byakuren finally pulled out what seemed to be a a deck of cards, the kind humans would use to play games with one another. What made this deck different, though, was that it was much larger - just from sight I could make out two hundred, three hundred, maybe even more. They all seemed to be blank on the bottom as well. With her other hand, she pulled out another card of the same make as the rest, but on its other side was a single 5-pointed star.
"This should do!"
Byakuren walked over to the pagoda, taking a seat next to it and crossing her legs in an unusual manner. It didn't look comfortable or viable...probably another of those weird human things I would have to pick up. She placed the star card on top of the deck, before shuffling it at a speed even my eyes had trouble following. After thirty seconds she placed the deck in front of her and pulled the pagoda over.
"Now, Shou-chan, this should work as the first step in your training."
She grasped the pagoda with one hand, gripping it tightly. It started to let off a dim light - nothing compared to Vaisravana's, but it was clearly spiritual in its origin.
"You should know, first of all, that Vaisravana is a god of fortune. Therefore, if you learn to tap into His power..."
She was gritting her teeth a little as she spoke; apparently this wasn't an easy task for her. Still grasping the pagoda, she reached down to the deck with the other hand. Then, widening her eyes as if reaching an epiphany, she grabbed at the deck and cut it in two.
"...you can come across as impossibly lucky."
She lifted the bottom card so I could see it. My jaw dropped.
She'd cut it right at the star card. The odds of it were hundreds-to-one, but she'd pulled it off on her first try.
"W-Wow...Hijiri-sama, you're amazing..."
Cries of amazement slipped from my mouth, but my mind was caught up in other matters. She honestly wanted me to pull that off? Find one card in a deck of hundreds? Was that even possible?!
"Now, Shou-chan, it's your turn."
She put the deck back together, shuffling it thoroughly again. Standing up, she handed me the deck and the pagoda with a confident smile on her face.
"It might be difficult to channel Him to start, but I have faith in you. Just empty your mind and focus."
"R-Right. I'll...try."
I stuttered out a response as I accepted her gifts. I copied Byakuren's sitting pose, placing the deck in front of me.
"...Okay. Focus. Focus."
I had to pull this off. Byakuren was watching me, and more than likely Nazrin was poking her head in to watch me screw up. Dammit, it was her fault I was so nervous now. I'd have made it fine if it wasn't for her, why did she have to remind me?!
Too much thinking, not enough focusing!
I shook myself, trying to get back to the task at hand. I couldn't screw this up. Look at the deck. Grab the pagoda. Drop your left hand down. Get a feel for the cards. Concentrate. Concentrate-
"There!"
It had to be this one! I grabbed at it, lifted it up, looked at the card-
"...Oh."
It was blank. Byakuren's face fell slightly.
"Well, that's a shame. No-one ever does it right their first try, though. And actually getting a response from Vaisravana with no former training is incredible!"
She was looking at the pagoda in my hand. Looking at it, I realised the light I could produce from it was dimmer still than the original.
My heart sank.
I screwed up, didn't I?
"L-Let me try again."
"Of course. That was the plan, Shou-chan~."
How could she still be so cheery? I was failing her after all the effort that had gone into me. There was nothing to be proud of - I hadn't found the star. I'd failed.
I shuffled the deck again, placing it back at my feet. I grabbed the pagoda again, with more force this time.
I can do this. Empty my mind. Nothing but me and the deck...
I let that last thought guide me, and I let my eyes focus on the cards in front of me. The rest of the world fell out of focus. I had to get this right, I had to-
"Gh!"
I cut the deck again, lifting the top half into the air. It felt better, it felt right this time. I looked upon the fruit of my efforts-
And found myself looking at a blank card once again.
"...Damn it."
I felt my hand clenching around the deck, threatening to crush it in my grasp. This wasn't funny, this was embarrassing. I was looking like a real idiot now, and everyone could see it.
"One more time."
I could see Byakuren's face slipping from pride to concern as I shuffled the deck again. She had every right to be concerned, didn't she? I wasn't delivering. I was messing up.
Another shuffle. Another bout of focus. Another cut of the deck.
Another failure.
"Shou-chan..."
Byakuren's words stung as they reached me. I felt a needle running through my heart. Shame slipped into my mindset.
What's wrong with me? They gave me all this power, and I'm still no good...?
"Again!"
Shuffle, focus, cut, fail.
"Again!"
Shuffle, focus, cut...fail.
"Again!"
I was getting desperate. This was taking far too long. I should have figured it out by now but I was as hopeless as ever. Byakuren held a hand out to me in worry.
"Shou-chan...you can sto-"
"I'm fine! I'll do this!"
She coiled back, as if my words had hurt her physically. Her lip trembled for a moment before she nodded.
"...Alright. You can stop at any time."
With that, she left the hall. I was alone.
I don't know how long I sat there, shuffling and cutting the deck. I saw the morning rays fade into the faint, welcoming light of the afternoon, then into the cold, uncomfortable grasp of the evening.
Once or twice Byakuren had poked her head in, offering me lunch or dinner. I refused as politely as I knew how - time I spent eating was time I spent not practicing this. The look of doubt she wore as she left afterwards made my heart sink even lower.
My legs felt like they were ready to snap off. I hadn't taken the time to stand since I'd started. Every time I went through the same ritual, the same process.
Every time, I failed.
"...Just...focus..."
Looking to my side, I noticed I couldn't even get the pagoda to shine any more. Clearly it had been a fluke on my part, and now my true abilities were showing. Or lack thereof.
I didn't know why I was still trying any more. It was obvious I was never going to figure this out. Or maybe there wasn't anything to figure out at all - maybe it was a setup. I'd checked the cards themselves for clues - ones with rough edges, folds, anything Byakuren could have used. I found nothing.
She would probably have cried if she had found out I didn't trust her. But of course I didn't - her actions made no sense. Why would she take me in and accept me if in the end I'd end up so incompetent? I half-expected her to walk in and throw me back out to the pack any second. That would have at least made some sense.
I noticed the floor was wet at my feet. Had I been crying again? I ran my hand across my face, and winced as I felt tears still running down them.
"...Why? Why can't I do this...?"
Was I being fooled? Was I just not up to the task? Was there some trick I had to figure out before it would work? I closed my eyes as I pondered the idea.
I was obviously more tired that I would have admitted, because I drifted back to sleep in a hurry...
---
I was here again.
I looked around, seeing myself encased in a familiar-looking star. Other than the faint light that its walls gave off, there was nothing to be seen.
There was no feeling of disconnection this time. I was totally aware of everything going on. Looking down on myself, I still saw the robes of Vaisravana hanging on me.
Slowly, I started to realise I'd misinterpreted the dream from last night completely. Yes, I had come to my own aid and strengthened myself. I'd endeavoured to do my best and make Vaisravana proud.
But as I ran a hand along the wall, I found that all I'd done was trap myself. I was asking myself to do something I couldn't, and worse yet there were people depending on me. I had trusted myself, and let myself down.
I was no hero. This wasn't like my life among the tigers, where I'd been a perfect rolemodel for everyone around me. I was a screwup, a washout, a failure. I was no star.
Around me, the walls began to crack.
"Aah?!"
Somehow I knew it was my own doubt that was causing things to fall apart. Dreams apparently gave me insight like that. But still, even as the water started to seep in, climbing up past my feet and up to my knees, I couldn't find any reason to believe otherwise. What did I have to believe in myself for?
The sound of the star cracking filled my ears, accompanied by the roaring waves. The water was at my waist now, and still rising. Last night's trance-like state felt like a distant memory, and now the panic I should have felt then was returning two-fold.
"H-Help! Someone! I can't swim!"
At my chest, my shoulders, my neck-
Crack.
I looked up, hearing a sound louder than anything else.
I had just enough time to see the ceiling come apart before the water came down on me.
"Ah, aa-aglb!"
I didn't even get time to catch a breath before it hit me. I felt myself spinning, getting dizzy even though I'd clamped my eyes shut. The water was freezing, and my arms wrapped around myself to keep some semblance of warmth.
I opened my eyes to see total darkness.
"G-Glb..."
I'd lost track of which way was up after all the spinning. All I could see around me were the dank, black waters. I had no idea where to go, and even if I did I'd never be able to make it in time.
My chest hurt. Why couldn't it be like last time? I thought dreams were supposed to be comforting, relaxing?
If I'd known about nightmares, I'd probably have been slightly less terrified. Not much, but it'd be worth something.
"Gleeelplb!"
I screamed, kicking in the first direction that came to mind. I had no technique, no finesse, and no way to tell if I was headed for the surface.
I knew I wasn't going to make it.
"Uuuglb..."
I felt the strength in my legs fading. They weighed me down like lead, and I started to sink again. The little air I had was trailing away into the distance. As a last effort I managed to outstretch one arm to what I hoped was the surface. My eyes slowly slid shut as I lost consciousness.
For the first time, I felt completely and truly powerless.
Please...someone help me...
That was the last thought to run through my mind. Then, nothing-
---
I still don't like leaving on cliffhangers...expect an update as soon as I can get it out. :|
-
I would kill to be able to have epic card-finding skills like that.
-
"Shou."
A single syllable jolted me awake. I gasped for breath on instinct, still feeling water clinging to me. It was the feel of the hard wood pressing into my face and the realisation that it was only sweat running across my body that convinced me I was still alive.
"Hah...haah..."
My heart was still pounding. I rose to my knees, wiping my brow as I continued to pant. A hand from above offered me handcloth to wipe my face with, and I accepted.
Did Hijiri-sama see me like that and wake me up...?
I looked up, expecting to see Byakuren's disconcerted face looking down.
Instead, I got a pair of expressionless red eyes.
"...Oh. It's you."
I hadn't realised until now that Nazrin was much shorter than me. Even with me on my knees the two of us were looking eye-to-eye without any difficulty. She was wearing a pair of light-grey pyjamas - apparently she'd just stepped out of bed. Her pendant was still hanging around her neck.
"...I guess I woke you up, didn't I?"
I didn't thank her, mainly because I assumed she hadn't intended to help me. I looked away, feeling yet more embarrassment pile up on top of me.
"I'm awake now, so you can go back to sl-"
"You've been up all night, haven't you?"
There was something new in her voice, I noticed. It was the tone a mother would take to scold their child if he'd been up all night eating sweets rather than studying. It hurt a little to know that even Nazrin was lecturing me now.
"I'm not budging until I figure this out."
The pagoda and deck were still lying in front of me, though I'd toppled both in my sleep. The cards were thrown randomly across the floor, several lying with their blank faces up. There were times I found it hard to believe there really was a star hidden under them all - maybe my eyes had been playing tricks on me all night. I wasn't really sure anymore.
"Get some sleep. You're taking this way too seriously."
"How can I not take it seriously?"
I was already tired of Nazrin's ranting. I was tired, grouchy, and about as unsuccessful as I had been all night. I wanted her to leave so I could get back to this, nothing else. It didn't matter what I had to say, I had to find some way to get her out.
"I got chosen for this thing, so I'm special, right? Then why am I messing up so badly? What sort of servant to Vaisravana can't even find one card in a deck!? I owe it to all of you to succeed!"
The words that had been coursing through my head all day finally found a voice. I was letting out the anger, the hatred that I had been aiming at myself. I didn't even care if it woke Byakuren up right now.
I assumed that she would just walk away at that point. Maybe state her disappointment as she walked out the door, swear she'd pass it on to Byakuren and get me kicked out of the temple.
"Since when did you owe anyone anything?"
Nazrin did nothing of the sort, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"You don't have to give us anything in return. That's what love is all about, right?"
My brow furrowed, and I turned back to Nazrin with a puzzled expression. I noticed something crack a little in that face of hers; an emotion finally seemed to be shining through, and from what I could tell it was concern.
"...Love? What exactly is love?"
It wasn't a term I'd ever encountered in my life as a tiger. We stood up for each other, watched each others' backs, but we only looked out for people who were able to offer something in return. If you couldn't hunt or fight, you were a liability to the pack and you were left behind.
That was the law of the jungle. It was common sense. Wasn't it?
Nazrin bit her lip. I could tell she didn't consider herself an expert on the subject, but she charged forward anyway.
"Love is...it's being able to give your heart to another person. Having enough faith and trust in them that you're willing to show them everything about yourself. It's unconditional, it asks for nothing in return."
All her explanation did was confuse me more. None of this made the tiniest bit of sense to me.
"But that's totally wasteful, isn't it? You could get betrayed by this person who you 'love', and then you end up ruined. And what does this love earn you, anyway?"
Nazrin sighed. She obviously realised that explaining it to me in words was like explaining land to a fish.
"...I'm going around this the wrong way. If you've never been loved, of course you aren't going to understand."
She pressed at her temples, stressed. I couldn't say I was in a much better mood than she was, what with the constant failure and the lack of sleep and the nightmares.
I wouldn't have prescribed a hug for myself at the time, but that's what she gave me.
"Uh...wha...?"
My mind fell into a thousand unintelligible fragments. I'd avoided being close to other tigers beforehand, but that was out of necessity in order to keep my secret shame from being discovered. Now that that was no longer a problem, why was I still so shaky?!
Was the nightmare still getting to me? Was that why I was sweating? Blushing? Gibbering and stuttering like a drunkard? I could easily have wrestled myself out of Nazrin's grip given the height difference, but for some reason I decided against it. Despite everything else that the experience was forcing upon me...I couldn't help but enjoy it a little.
"Shou, I want you to listen to me. I've already told you I'm a servant of Vaisravana, but the power he gave me is kinda different from what you have."
Nazrin's voice trembled as she held her head by my ear - a monumental shift from the cold, uninterested mouse I was familiar with. She pulled herself back, clasping one hand around the pendant around her neck.
"I have the power to find hidden treasures. Mostly it's innate, but this pendant was what He gave to me."
She pressed at its side, and the pendant flickered to life, shining a brilliant blue as it dangled in my face. The red eyes that had been so expressionless up until now started to waver, getting ever-so-slightly misty.
"This thing is what led me to you, Shou. You are precious. You are special. I'm sure that behind all this doubt and worry there's something to be proud of. A diamond that just needs a little polish, or something like that."
I was still struggling to follow her words. Looking back now I realise I must have looked like a total moron.
"Then of course you expect more from me. What does that have to do with love?"
Nazrin's hands clenched into fists as her frustration grew. I was still as clueless as ever. No half-measure was going to convince me, it seemed.
"I...I understand where you're coming from. I was in a similar spot to you once - I was the leader of my own group of mice. We never thought about this love thing either, we just got on with life. At least, until the house we'd been residing in caught fire."
She turned away, getting truly emotional.
"I...was the only one who got out. Apparently it was the fault of a youkai, so they called Hijiri in to catch the criminal. She found me, badly burnt and alone, and she took me in. She gave me a form, a name, a purpose - I owe her a lot. But...I've never managed to feel the same love for her as she has for me."
She was choking on her words. I blinked. Was this the Nazrin who'd been prodding me in the face with a dowsing rod this morning, or was I still dreaming?
"You...may have noticed by now, but I'm not really good at this whole 'caring' thing. I get...scared. That if I care about someone it'll hurt more if they get taken away. I lost a lot of people I trusted in one swoop, and...I don't want that to happen again."
Her entire body seemed to be shaking now. Tears were streaming down her face constantly. Any semblance of severity she had posessed before had vanished entirely.
"But...I can't keep it up. I can't just bottle my feelings up forever. I need to be honest, need to let myself out. And...I don't know, I can't put it in words, there's something ABOUT you. Something I was scared of admitting, for both of our sakes."
I remembered how she'd intentionally kept herself away from me at breakfast. Maybe it hadn't been a matter of dislike after all. In fact, maybe it had been the opposite - it would explain why she had been peeking while I was getting changed earlier.
Still, it was a feeling I couldn't return to her. It was too alien, too obscure-
"Y'know what? I've come this far with you, I may as well go all the way. I'd better not regret this."
A hint of Nazrin's old stubbornness rose up in her as she muttered to herself. She bit her lip, looking at me for an instant with indecision. Then the worry in her face gave way, replaced by an emotion I could come up with no logical reason for her to have.
Acceptance.
She grabbed me again, this time with much more ferocity. She pulled my head in to the point where I could feel her panicked breaths on my cheek.
"I'll do it. I'll risk it. I'll put all the faith and trust I have in you. And you know why?"
She took one deep breath, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to do. As usual, I was unaware of what was about to happen. If I was, I'd probably have forced her away right about now.
"Because I love you, Shou."
She pulled my face right in, held her lips out...
And my mind went totally, completely blank.
---
I was in the water again. Sinking, drowning, dying, lost, alone in an endless darkness. I didn't want to be back here. I was only barely conscious.
I heard a sound of some sort. Kicking? I couldn't tell, in this darkness I couldn't make out a thing. It grew louder, though, coming closer all the time.
Help...?
I wrung out a thought as my brain started to shut down. I felt a hand grab at me, pulling my body towards it. I made no attempt to resist. A pair of what I assumed were arms wrapped around me, holding me tight. I could still feel the warmth, at least.
Then, something wrapped itself around my lips. Something warm, something wonderful. It made me feel stronger, more alive. Power started to seep into my body again as I took in a much-needed breath of air.
Pulling my eyes open, I saw that I was being held in the grasp of another girl, as she locked lips with me. Nazrin's ruby eyes looked at me with relief, telling a story without words.
"Thank Vaisravana, you're alive..."
Tears welled up in her eyes as I came back into consciousness. There was something incredibly comforting about her embrace, something that blew every worry I had out of the water.
I could tell she was doing this at great cost. If I weighed her down we would both drown, so it wasn't fair that I did nothing. I returned the gesture, hugging her as tightly as I could.
Nazrin's eyes widened for a moment, but as she calmed down we found ourselves in a passionate embrace. The pendant around her neck shone with a brightness I'd never seen before, filling the water around us with light.
It was beautiful.
I didn't feel any need to breathe, or reach the surface, or anything. Right now, in this moment, in this instant, I was complete. And the only way I could reach this state was through my feelings for another person.
Suddenly, everything made sense.
I've been such an idiot...
---
I snapped back into reality. Nazrin was still kissing me, holding me tighter than anyone ever had. Somewhere I had begun to hug her in return, and now the two of us were lying together on the floor.
It was the most wonderful feeling I had ever experienced, but it had to come to an end eventually. I pulled my head back, and the two of us broke away from the hug. For a few seconds we both just lay there, staring at each other.
"Heh."
We smiled like little girls as we looked at each other. So much of my life had been a matter of simply getting by. I'd felt acceptance, even pride at some points. But I'd never felt an overwhelming, joyful experience like I felt right now.
I'd never experienced true happiness before.
"Hehehe~."
We were giggling now, uncontrollably. The experience seemed as new to Nazrin as it was to me; the only difference was that she had heard about it. This was our first time experiencing this so-called love, and it had left us both giddy.
"Hahahahahaha...!"
Maybe we would wake up Byakuren like this, but neither of us cared. Right now, the two of us were happy together, and nothing could take that from us.
Eventually the delirium stopped, and the morning light made its way into the hall. We picked ourselves up, brushing ourselves off. Nazrin fell back into her normal mood, but I could see the first signs of a smile starting to creep onto her face.
And seeing that made me feel good, for no reason logic could hope to explain.
"...Uh. Breakfast is going to be ready soon, so we'd better get moving."
Nazrin was more attentive to the situation than I was, given I was still pretty tired from my lack of sleep. Still, I held a hand up in protest as I stepped over to the nigh-forgotton pagoda.
"One more try."
Nazrin's expression dropped for an instant, but she nodded as she stepped out.
"I'm holding you to that. Don't make me come back and drag you out of here."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Nazrin."
We smiled once more as Nazrin closed the door on me. Once again, I was alone with this nigh-endless deck of cards. I collected them and put the deck together again, lining up the cards neatly.
I felt cleaner, purer than I had ever felt before. I no longer felt any desire to succeed simply because I had a debt to repay. Byakuren and Vaisravana weren't forcing me to succeed on pain of exile, and they were fine even if I wasn't as perfect as I could be. They would give me time to blossom, to grow, to accept.
To love.
I held the pagoda, focusing on the deck as I had so many times already. The rest of the world almost ceased to be, my attention was that focused on it. Now the pagoda shined with a new light - brighter than Byakuren's, and well on its way to equalling Vaisravana's. The feelings of doubt and duty that had clouded my mind were gone. Now there was a confidence, a faith in myself that could only come from outside of me. From another person.
From Nazrin, the girl who'd shown me what love was.
I wasn't even trying that hard as I cut the deck. I lazily lifted my hand, looking at the card at the bottom of the pile I'd picked up.
I smiled to myself when I saw that from an endless stack of dead-ends, I'd pulled out the star from deep within.
-----
I imagined the kissing fantasy scene taking place in swimsuits. It was hotter than a phoenix crashing into the sun.
-
I imagined the kissing fantasy scene taking place in swimsuits. It was hotter than a phoenix crashing into the sun.
This. Very yes.
-
This is amazing. That's... All I can say about it. Keep on writing Rou, I'll be looking forward to the next update~ And every one beyond that.
-
Chosen by a god, finds a cute girlfriend and learns how to draw the ace of spades whenever she wants? All in two days....
"Face it, Tiger You Just Hit The Jackpot!"
brb, pun related seppuku.
I wonder how long Nazarin's been a youkai. And how this will fit in with the events that inevitably follow...
-
Byakuren will be much dissapoint :V
-
Hee, awesome. I should've come in sooner!
-
Rou, you have something amazing here.
You've taken a character I couldn't care less about, and made her interesting. Please, do not stop soon.
-
I imagined the kissing fantasy scene taking place in swimsuits. It was hotter than a phoenix crashing into the sun.
I must agree but nude it's even better.^^
-
The next few weeks were a blur to me.
After that initial starting block, everything just seemed to click in terms of training. Byakuren led me through the finer points of meditation, and I was educated in the literature of the religion itself. I read the tale of the young prince who broke away from the utopia his father forced upon him and, after years living the life of the ascetic, realised that true peace comes from seeking the middle path.
I studied the scriptures both out of duty and from personal interest. As soon as I had come to grips with this newfound concept of knowledge, I found myself craving to learn as much as I could. Even when I was only meant to be memorising the earlier, simpler stories of the Buddha, I would sneak away books into my room when Byakuren wasn't looking and read them in my spare time. She knew, of course, but I think that just made her appreciate my interest even more.
'Spare time', admittedly, was my term for 'time I didn't spend with Nazrin clearing the place up'. The only time we ever got any privacy was when Byakuren was meditating on her own, and during that time we were to work on making the temple habitable again. It was a strange relationship - after that one night of epiphany the two of us shared, things just sort of blossomed. With her fears quelled, Nazrin was actually a rather up-beat, if over-confident girl. She talked to me about anything and everything - what she thought about herself, her opinion of Vaisravana ('I'd understand him better if his head wasn't so far above me') and - this one was a surprise to me - a few well-meant pointers on how to keep myself looking prim. 'I didn't go out of my way to find you so you could walk around with that headpiece out of place' and things like that. Every time she reprimanded me I'd blush a little for getting it wrong, and we'd look into each other's eyes. Then we would laugh until the dust from all the cleaning made us cough.
It was a side of herself she only showed me, though - there still wasn't enough trust with Byakuren. There were times I had wondered why to myself - Byakuren was no more at risk of disappearing than I was, wasn't she? Still, I had a strong enough concept of manners by that point to avoid pressing the issue.
She couldn't keep up the facade completely, though. I noticed it when we ate together - her eyes seemed a little brighter, and a tiny smirk would make its way onto her face. I felt my heart tingle when I saw that smile, to the point where more than once Byakuren had called me out for staring into the distance.
And that was my life, plain and simple. Study, cleaning, caring, sleeping. I couldn't have asked for anything more.
Of course, all things come to an end, and the end for this little lifestyle came one morning as I mulled over my flavourless gruel. She did it in seven small words.
"I have nothing more to teach you."
---
I stopped mid-chew, widening my eyes. I resisted the urge to speak until after I'd gulped down my mouthful.
"N...Nothing? You mean I'm done?"
Byakuren seemed cheerful about it. Perhaps even proud.
"That's right. With all the extra time you've been putting in, you've done all the necessary work far faster than I'd expected. All we need to do is go through one last rite, and you're a fully fledged disciple!"
She talked in between bites of her meal. Nazrin, as always, sat right beside me and paid us no mind as she nibbled at her food.
"I don't remember reading about any sort of final test...unless you mean the vows."
"Well, yes, the vows are a part of it, but there's more. It's...well, rather secretive, I'm afraid."
Secretive? I hadn't imagined Byakuren the type to keep secrets. Concern started to work its way onto my face, but Byakuren realised she'd manage to worry me.
"A-Ah, don't worry, Shou-chan. I'm sure you'll do just fine. After all, you've done great up until now!"
There was something a little too cheerful there for my liking that I couldn't put my finger on. She almost seemed to be trying too hard to comfort me. I pondered it momentarily, staring into my food in a daze.
At my side, Nazrin finished up her breakfast. Unlike us she hadn't stopped to talk, so she washed her bowl and made her way into the main hall. She obviously appreciated that the two of us needed some time alone.
Nazrin was always better at this whole social scene than I was.
Byakuren took advantage of this opening, wearing a different smile altogether. It was the smile of a woman who knew something she wasn't meant to. Changing the subject was an added bonus.
"You two are quite the couple, you know~."
My spoon slipped out of my hand, landing with a plop in the bowl.
"...Huh?"
She giggled, a high-pitched laugh that seemed far too young for a woman her age.
"Oh, you're much worse at hiding it than you think you are, Shou-chan. I see the way she fawns over you. In fact, sometimes when I walk past her room in the early mornings I can hear her mumbling in her sleep about how you'd be so pretty if you didn't just wear those tomboyish robes-"
"I-I think that's enough out of you, Hijiri-sama..."
I was blushing, suddenly grabbing the spoon back up and working my way through breakfast as fast as possible. The sooner I got back to Nazrin, the sooner we could leave this topic of conversation behind. Desperate, I moved the conversation onto a tangent.
"A-Anyway, there's something I was always meaning to ask you. Nazrin mentioned how you two met for the first time once."
"Oh...did she now?"
Was that reluctance in her voice? She sounded uncertain, but there was no way this could be any worse a subject for her than Nazrin was for me, so I pressed on anyway.
"She told me you were meant to catch the youkai that set the house on fire. Do you work as an exorcist or somethi-"
"Let's not discuss this, Shou-chan."
She disregarded the manners she'd worked so hard to teach me, cutting the discussion off before it could begin. There were a few seconds of awkward silence.
"...Right. Sorry."
We both got back to our breakfast, trying to act as if nothing had happened. There was a frown on her face as she ate, and that worried me - I never remembered seeing her look so unhappy. I still wondered to myself what exactly Byakuren was so secretive about, but it wasn't worth the strife it would end up causing.
Besides, I had the horrible feeling I wouldn't like the answer.
---
Nazrin was waiting for us as we stepped into the main hall. A little elbow grease had turned it from an ordinary enough, just about bearable room into a fitting place to worship a deity. Vaisravana Himself had spent some quality time with a cloth and warm water, and the statue was as magnificent as the day it was sculpted.
I gave Nazrin a little wink as I walked past. On the way over Byakuren had told me the first step to this rite was to invoke Vaisravana myself. I had done plenty of reading on the process, and logically I should have been able to do it fine, but Byakuren's earlier nerves had been contagious. I bit my lip as I sat in front of the statue, taking on a standard meditation pose.
I focused my attention on my breathing, noting the flow of air in and out of my lungs. Above all else I made certain to regard that it was never in the same place - it was flowing all the time, one way or the other. This was anicca - impermanence, the first of the three marks of existence. It was one of the most fundamental truths of Buddhism, and I had learned it to a tee.
I felt my entire body become wrapped in a faint golden light. As a servant of a different sort from Byakuren, my method of invoking him was different from hers. I grasped the pagoda, which by now had been firmly tied around my waist. It was as much a part of me as my arms, my eyes, my head. Without it, I was powerless.
It shone with a light reminiscent of the one I had seen all those weeks ago when I met Him for the first time. This would be our second meeting, but it would be one I brought around myself.
"I am a servant of the ruler of the north. The defender of the just. The deity of wealth and fortune. And by the power invested in me I call upon Him to appear before me! Come, Vaisravana!"
A familiar shaking along the ground. Behind me, I could hear Nazrin falling to her knees. It took more effort that it should have to hold in a laugh at her expense as the statue let of its familiar red aura. Vaisravana looked down on me with the same stern face as the day we had met; I was still but a pupil to Him, and this was the ritual through which I would prove myself worthy.
I still felt little tremors of awe as His voice boomed through the room.
"Vaisravana has appeared before you, child. It appears that you are prepared to take the final steps in becoming my true underling."
I raised my head up, looking Him in the eye. There was nothing left to worry about now - summoning Him was the hard part. Everything else was by the book.
"Now, I ask you to undertake your final vows."
I nodded in respect, reciting effortlessly.
"I seek refuge in the Buddha - the example which all of us must follow.
I seek refuge in the Dharma - the teaching which were left to us that show the path to enlightenment.
I seek refuge in the Sangha - those who seek the same goal I do and uphold our teachings.
I, Shou Toramaru, seek refuge in these three treasures."
There was a feeling of relief as the last words passed my lips. A feeling of conclusion, of completion. I had succeeded, I had been accepted, that was it.
But...something was wrong.
I had expected Byakuren to at least applaud or congratulate me, but she had stayed unusually silent. Looking up, I saw that Vaisravana hadn't softened in the slightest either.
"Your heart is pure, and your mind is sharp. Yet there is still one task you must complete."
I flinched.
More?! But there was nothing else in the scriptures!
Vaisravana's hand gripped itself around His spear. It glowed a dark red for a few moments before letting off an unexpected flash of light.
"Aah!"
I covered my eyes too late, and for a few seconds I couldn't make out a thing. Vaisravana's voice continued to echo through my skull regardless.
"You are aware of the concept of Taṇhā. The idea that suffering is caused by desire, by craving. Know also that your mind is an open book to me - I know your thoughts, your beliefs, your hopes, your fears. You cannot lie to me. I know what you desire the most. Or perhaps more fitting is...who you desire the most."
There was a threat hidden in those words. Actually, hidden was the wrong word - He was being very blatant with His disapproval.
There was only one person he could be talking about.
...No. No, no, no.
A painful, horrifying realisation washed over me. I could hear Nazrin slipping towards the door along with Vaisravana's words.
Byakuren grabbed her before she could make an escape.
"I...I'm sorry..."
Byakuren's words of regret made their way to me, redoubling my fears. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the blindness passed and my eyes finally regained focus.
What they looked upon made me want to curl into a ball and weep.
Lying on the floor in front of me was a spear, a replica of Vaisravana's. There was no elegant design, no flashy decorations. This weapon was designed for one thing and one thing only. To kill.
"You must sever your bonds of attachment to her, Shou. This is your final test."
-
Inb4Kimikotimeparadox.
-
Whoa whoa whoa. Shit just got real.
Not like losing Nazrin would be a huge loss. Eh, it would be to Shou. Poor girl. D:
-
(http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/5354/sonm.jpg)
That's quite a surprise there.
-
This cannot end well.
But, hey, Shou can channel some epic fortune/good luck and stumble across Nazrin at the Higan River and snatch her back, right? :x
-
*subverted trope* Who said anything about killing her?
But yeah, depending on what happens next, you may or may not see me in this thread again.
-
(http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/5354/sonm.jpg)
You stole the words right out of my mouth, Mr. Anonymous manga character.
For someone who hates leaving with cliffhangers, that was a damned evil one. :ohdear:
-
EHHHH?!
Shit just hit the fan yo.
-
FFFFFFFFFFFFF-
Crazy stuff is gonna go down now...
-
Something like that was bound to happen, but I didn't expected Vaisravana to be that... Solomonic.
-
Bonds are not physical, of course. Although I wouldn't put it past Shou at this point to take Vaisavaranaanananana's order literally and start sobbing about having to kill Nazrin, just for Byakuren to be like 'yo, it's metaphorical. also magic spear makes you badass without nazrin lolololol'
/me is shot some more.
-
This was a cruel joke.
I must have just misunderstood Byakuren and Vaisravana entirely. This was their misguided attempt at humour, another of these human quirks I hadn't learned yet. It was all just for fun - the spear would be made of rubber, it'd bounce off of Nazrin's chest, everyone would start laughing and life would be sunshine and rainbows.
I tried with all my heart to convince myself that was what was happening to me. But as I looked up into Vaisravana's unfeeling eyes, I could see no trace of humour.
I was aware of nightmares now, so maybe I was just dreaming. I'd snap awake in bed, Nazrin would hear me shuffling around, she'd check if I was okay and I'd bury my head in her chest and cry.
I pinched myself. Nothing happened.
"...This is a metaphor, right...? You don't actually want me to...?"
My voice barely made it across the hall. I didn't want to look back at Nazrin, but I could hear her struggling against Byakuren's grip to no avail.
"Your feelings for her have grown too strong to simply disregard. She has already played her part in bringing you here, and she is no longer needed. Her death is unfortunate, but necessary."
This wasn't my Vaisravana. These couldn't be the words of my god running through my ears with that omnipotent clarity of His. It was a fake, a false idol trying to trick me.
"...Shou. You have shown more promise and potential than any disciple has in centuries. Nazrin chose well when she brought you to me. I do not wish to see this natural talent wasted on your foolish love."
...Foolish? Was it really foolish to care for someone, to wish for their happiness? To put the hopes and dreams of another person ahead of your own? After Nazrin opened up to me, I had been so caught up in the euphoria I never considered the notion again.
But...if Vaisravana is saying it...
There were powers I had to answer to. If my god told me I was in the wrong, I was in the wrong. I was being weak in relying on another for my own happiness, and now He had had the good grace to grant me an opportunity to absolve my sins.
I should have been thankful to Him for the chance. Not shaking as my heart fought to a stalemate with my mind, my feelings for Nazrin clashing with the orders a divine being had given me.
My hand trembled as it reached down in front of me, grabbing at the spear's hilt. It was cold, solid steel, as ungarnished as it was deadly. I gripped it in both hands, pricking my finger slightly on the tip to ensure it was as sharp as it looked.
It was.
I squeezed my eyes shut. The last thing I wanted to do now was see Nazrin's face as I walked towards her with the weapon that would end her life. I stepped forward slowly till I could feel warm air brushing on my face. That only made it worse - I drew the image of her in my head, still fighting against Byakuren, her eyes silently begging for mercy as she cried. I couldn't bear it, and I reluctantly opened my eyes again.
Nazrin's face was as expressionless as it had been the day I met her. And that hurt more than any showing of fear ever could.
"...What are you waiting for? Do it."
Nazrin sounded frustrated as she spoke to me. Her eyes seemed to have taken on a darker shade of red, like a light inside of them had flickered out. She had stopped struggling the instant I picked up the spear. She had realised that I valued Vaisravana over her, and settled for second place. She had already discarded her feelings for me, so it was up to me to do the same to her.
Faith for one's god overwrote all else. That was justice.
I lifted the spear up, pointing its tip at Nazrin's chest. I needed to make it quick, painless, so I would stab her through the heart. I took one last deep breath, chanting to myself in my head.
I seek refuge in the Buddha - the example which all of us must follow.
A single, perfect, clean stab in the chest. Nazrin let off a few guttural, choking noises.
I seek refuge in the Dharma - the teachings which were left to us that show the path to enlightenment.
"Sh...ou..."
My name was the last thing to cross her lips before she passed on. Byakuren let go of her as she died, her body falling over and leaning on me. I could feel the still-warm blood seeping through her own clothes and on to mine.
I seek refuge in the Sangha - those who seek the same goal I do and uphold our teachings.
"Well done, Shou. With this, you have proven that your beliefs are true and your faith is absolute. You are hereby officially ordained as a disciple of Vaisravana."
The words from the god behind me boomed into my ears. There was no longer any feeling or pride or happiness as I heard them. Any emotions like that died along with Nazrin. I would become a tool of my deity, tending to his wishes and commands. Nothing more, nothing less.
I, Shou Toramaru, seek refuge in these three treasures.
After all, the only other thing I could seek refuge in was lying dead in my arms, wasn't she?
-----
Bad Ending #1: Survival of the Fittest
And now, I need to profusely apologise for stealing Ruro's Bad-End gimmick from White Rose. The temptation was too great, I'm sorry >_<
Anyway, let's just turn back the clock a little...
---
I lifted the spear up, pointing its tip at Nazrin's chest. I needed to make it quick, painless, so I would stab her through the heart. Maybe a few seconds of pain before she slumped into my arms and her blood would start to run all over my robes while her dead eyes stared into mine-
No! Stop thinking about it and just do it!
The spear was shaking in my hands, almost falling out of my grasp. I needed to calm down. Deep breaths. Focus. Concentrate. I would pretend I was just hammering a nail into a wall, like I always did when I cleaning up the temple with Nazri-
"Gah!"
Why did all of my thoughts always turn back to her? Had this one girl managed to become more important to me than the god I had promised to worship? She had managed to put her feelings aside, so why couldn't I!?
"...I said do it, Shou. Hurry up."
I could feel Vaisravana's gaze staring me down, almost a physical weight on my shoulders. The longer I spent doubting, the harder it would be to actually go through with this.
"Shou...please..."
Nazrin spoke again as my hesitation became increasingly obvious. I tried to look away, focus on the sullen look that Byakuren was wearing instead, but my eyes turned to her as if they were posessed.
...Please tell me I'm seeing things. Please don't let those be tears.
I had taken too long. Nazrin had tried her best to return to the emotionless girl that I hadn't cared for, but my own inability to kill her had caused her true colours to shine through again. The light returned to her eyes, and she started to squirm as she let the tears she'd been holding back come crashing down.
"...S...Shou, you idiot. Now look what you've done..."
By now she was back to flailing outright again, Byakuren's expression taking on yet another layer of guilt. My heart was on the verge of crumpling in on itself. Nazrin didn't want to die. She didn't want me to kill her. But then why would she try so hard to fake it? Why would she make such an effort to act like she didn't care?
I didn't want to accept the conclusion that came to me, but it was all that made sense.
She didn't want me to feel guilty for having to kill her. She was willing to give her own life for the sake of my happiness. Her love for me was so strong she would literally die for me.
I heard a moan coming from somewhere in the hall. It was the most pathetic sound I had ever heard, the sound that someone would only give off if they had lost all hope and conviction.
It took me a few seconds to realise it was coming from me.
---
"...Why do you hesitate?"
Vaisravana's voice almost knocked me to the floor. I felt like I was made of paper, ready to collapse at any given moment. The eyes of a god were looking down on me, demanding that I offer Nazrin as a sacrifice to Him.
And I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I just couldn't do it.
The spear dropped to the floor with a clatter. Now tears were running down my face as well. I looked thoroughly pathetic, and I knew it.
"S-Shou..."
Nazrin's voice almost cracked as she called out to me. She didn't want to see me cast out into the wild again, returned to being nothing more than a mere tiger. She didn't want Vaisravana to invoke His wrath on me and likely my former pack as well.
Every scripture I'd ever studied, every mantra I'd recited, every lecture I'd read, everything passed through my mind right now. Everything told me that Vaisravana spoke the truth - I was too attached to Nazrin, I needed her out of the picture to clear my mind.
And in the midst of that, a new thought jumped into my head. A thought that directly opposed everything I had been taught, everything that made me a disciple of Vaisravana. Everything that I had spent all this time working toward, what had been my life for these last few weeks.
It was these two thoughts that were tearing me apart. Logic and emotion were pitting themselves against one another, and my soul was their battlefield. The stalemate was tearing me apart. But as I looked into Nazrin's eyes one last time, there was a stunning feeling of clarity, and suddenly the two choices were reduced to one.
It consisted of two words.
"I refuse."
Nazrin's eyes widened in shock. Byakuren bit her lip. I wasn't aware of Vaisravana's expression, but at this point I had no interest in it.
"...What was that?"
He sounded incredulous, almost enawed. Was I honestly the first person he had met who questioned Him?
"I said, I refuse. I won't kill her."
Vaisravana's presence in the room grew stronger. The red aura of his robes began to seep into the walls, trailing down like blood.
"You have a lot of nerve, child. You would oppose the orders of a god? YOUR god?"
"When my god has good intentions, maybe I should do what he says. When he orders someone to take a life out of sheer jealousy? Not so much."
The confidence running through me was absurd. It shouldn't have been logically possible for me to debate with a deity with this much self-confidence. But love, it seemed, saw throwing logic out the window as a national sport.
"I'm not going to kill Nazrin just because you don't want me to care for her. You gave me the opportunity to experience real emotions, real feelings, and now you want me to cut away that part of myself? Sorry, but last I checked murder wasn't very good for your karma."
The aura along the walls dripped onto the floor, wrapping itself around the discarded spear. It picked itself up without a hand to hold it, flying upwards in a single motion until its tip stood inches from my face.
"I will not accept your insolence! I am Vaisravana! Ruler of the north! Protector of the just! You would oppose me!?"
Death was staring me in the eye, literally. I knew for a fact that He could lodge that spear through my head at any moment, and that would be the end of Shou Toramaru. And yet, even in my old life as a tiger, I had never once shown bravery like this in the face of my own demise. My foe's strength was clear, and I knew I had no chance, but there was no way I would take Nazrin's life willingly. She herself was caught between awe and fear, falling silent, and I nodded to her to calm her down.
"Nazrin did nothing wrong, so she deserves to live. And nothing - not you, not Byakuren, not the Buddha himself - is going to convince me otherwise!"
I turned on my feet, looking back at Vaisravana with determination flaring in my eyes. By now my emotions were beginning to overtake me, my voice rising to a shout.
"Divine justice will only get me so far! This is me standing for myself and what I believe in! What I see as worth fighting for! This is my absolute justice!"
Vaisravana seemed ready to step off the altar and beat me to a pulp himself. For a few short seconds, I braced myself to have a spear lodged into my skull.
Vaisravana uttered two small words.
"...Well done."
My heart skipped a beat.
"You have passed. Congratulations."
The red aura filling the room retracted, retreating back into Vaisravana. I heard the spear clatter back onto the floor again, smashing into a million pieces. His face lightened, and for the first time I could remember I saw Him smile.
"Had you attempted to kill her, I would have stopped you and you would have proven yourself to be nothing beyond the animal you were when you first came here. You would be a brute no matter how far you had been taught, clearly unfit for enlightenment."
He looked behind me, towards Nazrin, who was still too enawed by the entire sight to speak. I looked around to her, seeing tears fall from her eyes once again. This time, though, there was a smile of elation to go along with them, and seeing that made my own heart soar.
"But in showing your refusal to obey an order you do not agree with, even when doing so is in your best interest personally, you have proven that you now posess an emotion that is integral to the life of the believer. The scriptures call it karuna. You know it as compassion."
Pride and joy washed over me like a raging sea. I fell to my knees, tears welling up in my own eyes as well.
I...I did it. I really did it...!
"Byakuren, I apologise for forcing you to play your part in this."
Byakuren shook her head, looking at Vaisravana with that stern expression I so rarely saw from her.
"There is nothing to apologise for. Shou-chan proved herself, like I expected her to, so everything is fine, right?"
She let go of Nazrin at last, and the mouse's immediate response was to run up and wrap her arms around me.
"S-Shou...that was incredible. Y-You actually had the nerve to..."
She was still stunned by the whole ordeal, stuttering over her words. I patted her on the back as I returned the hug.
"Shh. Stop talking. Do you want to look bad in front of your boss?"
"A-Ah, good point. Got it."
We knew that both Vaisravana and Byakuren were looking down on us, but honestly neither of us cared. We were happy as we were.
"Nazrin...I know I ordered you to find a worthwhile youkai in the area, but...perhaps Shou needs to be overseen. Such talent must be guided, so I would like it if you could keep an eye on her for me."
Nazrin looked over to him, smiling like I'd never seen her smile before.
"Yes, sir! Count on me!"
He chuckled to himself, an emotion I had never seen Him show. Gods were as emotional as the rest of us, so in retrospect it was actually weirder that I had never seen Him acting cheerful.
"...Now, let it be known that Shou Toramaru is a fully ordained disciple of Vaisravana. I wish you the best of fortune in your own path to enlightenment."
Vaisravana offered me one last piece of encouragement as He made my ordination official. I looked over my shoulder to Him as His aura began to fade.
"Thank you for everything. I'll do you proud."
And if ever my strength wasn't enough to see me through, I knew for a fact there was someone who would be by my side through thick and thin.
-
Heh, you had me really pissed at the bad end :ohdear:
But now I really look forward to seeing where you may eventually go with this fic.
-
Man, I haven't been this caught up in a story since Xenocide. Really well done.
-
Fortunately the bold text gave me a warning. You had me mildly irked for a bit though.
Also, bad diety! Don't play mind games that early on! Ah well at least he had a passably polite fallback plan.
-
You dare defy MEEEEE?
"A-yap. Sure do."
Oh. Righto, then.
-
Pfft, saw it coming. Really, with that cliffhanger, it's the only way it could go.
Though the "bad end gimmick" was also unexpected, and also annoyed me, so.
-
Deities in Buddhist scriptures hardly play this sorta trick (save the Jade Emperor himself) and I dare say this was my view and objected this quite a lot. Yet, as the story goes, it is within a certain reason.
-
And now, I need to profusely apologise for stealing Ruro's Bad-End gimmick from White Rose. The temptation was too great, I'm sorry >_<
:dragonforce:
Seeing reactions to bad ends is great. Even though you told me in advance that you were going to do it, I still freaked out a little inside when I actually read it. It seemed so real. Well done.
-
We had a feast that night, at least for our standards. A meal that had a recognisable form beyond a gelatinous grey mass was monumental to Nazrin and I, and Byakuren took extra care to make sure that her food actually tasted of something. As we dined on fresh rice and vegetables, the elation wiped away the painful aspects of the last few hours, until only the good memories were fresh in our minds.
A few minutes in, Byakuren offered up her cup of tea as a toast.
"Well, then, here's to Shou-chan and her ordination!"
Nazrin and I stared blankly at each other for a moment. This was a piece of courtesy she hadn't bothered to teach either of us, and Byakuren had to catch herself before she looked too awkward.
"Um, you hit the glasses against each other. You two didn't start drinking yet, did you...?"
We looked at each other with the same awkward expression, our eyes turning to our cups. I could barely see a drop of tea left in mine, and Nazrin's inspection didn't seem to turn up much beyond that in her own.
"Uh..."
"Actually..."
We both started on our excuses at once, unable to come up with anything intelligent. Byakuren giggled.
"Well, it's the thought that counts, isn't it?"
We both let out sighs of relief, Nazrin's much quieter than mine. The three of us reached out and clinked our cups together.
"To Shou-chan!"
"To Shou!"
"To, uh, me!"
With that, Byakuren took a proud sip of her drink while Nazrin and I acted out the motion. We smiled at each other before losing ourselves in dinner.
"So, Shou-chan," Byakuren said inbetween bites, "I couldn't help but notice you called me by my first name during that little monologue of yours."
"Ah, did I?!"
I'd been so caught up in the moment, being polite had sort of taken a back seat in my mind.
"W-Well, sorry. Would you prefer if I stayed with Hijiri-sama...?"
"Hijiri will be fine, actually."
My eyes widened slightly. She wanted me to drop the honorific? She saw me as an equal?
"R-Right. Got it."
I choked out a response before getting back to my meal, but I couldn't find anything else to say for the rest of the evening. I still hadn't fully processed the magnitude of my achievement, and being told to refer to her as just Hijiri was enough to remind me. There were a few moments where a familiar mindset threatened to make its way into my thoughts - 'Am I really up for this?' 'What if I screw up?' 'This is a setup, right? It can't be that easy...?'
Then I looked up at Nazrin, at those beautiful red eyes, and those thoughts were gone again.
---
I caught a sight of the night sky as I sat in my room after dinner. The memories of my first day here were still strong - the night where I lay on this bed, weeping as my secret was unveiled for the first time. The stars adorned the sky, like they had on that night, and once again a single light shone brighter than the rest.
I couldn't sleep. The adrenaline rush from earlier hadn't worn off completely, and besides that my mind was still racing. Even as I sat in bed I found myself fidgeting like I had on my first day on meditation, unable to put my mind at ease.
...Maybe I should go for a walk.
It was an idea that came to me for no good reason, but I made no effort to question it. I stood up, still dressed in my robes, grabbing my pagoda as I slipped out of the room. I made sure to stay as quiet as possible so that Nazrin and Byakuren didn't notice my disappearance.
Strolling down the shrine's steps, I thought back to the first time I'd climbed them. My feet now fit on the steps with ease, to the point where it was hard to even remember having those overgrown paws. I thought of how Nazrin had been then, rude and uninterested, and for a moment I winced when I considered the emotions that must have been hiding behind that mask of hers. It warmed my heart to remember the joy she'd expressed on the night the pair of us had both taken the largest risk of our lives - a risk that had paid off so far.
Reaching the bottom of the steps, I found my feet guiding me ownwards without any conscious thought. The path I found myself taking was strikingly familiar - though I was more used to seeing it from a few feet lower. The pawprints left in the mud beneath me were enough to confirm my suspicions, and for a while I simply stared down at them as I continued onwards. The pack seemed to still be sizable, and I smiled as I saw that they were managing fine without me.
...Hm? What's happening?
The trails started to even out as I moved along, stopping with a set of firm tracks gathered around something made of stone. Each set was facing towards the object in the middle.
...They didn't. Did they...?
I looked up, and immediately a smile jumped onto my face. The object they had been gathering around was the old statue of Vaisravana - the one we had used to take turns urinating on. But any signs of those former disgraces were long gone, and now the statue looked almost respectable. Leaves from nearby trees had been placed on it in order to cover up the cracks, and the edge of His crumbling spear had been replaced with an arrowhead. It was hardly extravagant, but considering it was the work of a pack of tigers it was enough to be proud of.
"...Oh, you guys..."
I couldn't keep my gratitude to myself. They really had offered their faith to Vaisravana after my departure. They'd kept their promise-
"Rawrr!!"
What the?!
A growl from behind me, giving me only instants to dodge before the spot I'd been standing on had a set of claws impaled in it. I rolled to the side, thanking Vaisravana for the reflexes this form had given me.
Wait...it's!?
My aggressor quickly pulled his claws from the earth beneath him, turning to me with murder in his eyes. They were familiar eyes, but not as familiar as the mark on his face - a set of scars, crescent-shaped, running down one side.
Scars that I left on him.
"G-Gaoo!"
Instinct alone caused me to let out a familiar roar, albeit with none of its former majesty. The tiger's eyes widened in surprise as he caught sight of me fully - not because he recognised me for who I was, but for my striking similarity to someone else. His eyes turned to the statue, then back to me, then to the pagoda hanging around my waist.
They remained wide open, but the shock was soon replaced by awe as he walked up to me. The aggression in his stance disappeared, replaced with a feeling of respect, and he bowed his head down before me. It was a familiar sign of praise that tigers gave to those they saw stronger, and I realised just what conclusion he was coming to.
He...thinks I'm Vaisravana...
My heart fluttered slightly. I'd never realised how good these robes were at hiding my gender, but now I was literally able to convince my old packmate I was his deity. There was a hint of sadness thanks to him not knowing who I was, but who in particular I'd been confused for was enough to fill me with pride once again.
"...Heh. You've done well."
I reached down with one hand, scratching behind his ears. He let off a pleasing purr, enough to remind me of the time that Byakuren had done the same to me.
The irony was not lost on me. For some reason, I felt slightly older now.
"Now, you guys keep doing good, you hear?"
He probably didn't understand the words, but he caught the sentiment. He nodded, smiling to me as I pulled my hand back. I felt my eyes gain about an extra ton of weight - exhaustion had taken a strange time to overrun me, and I decided it was a good time to head back to the temple and get some rest.
As I lay myself to sleep that night, I wondered whether it was coincidence that I stayed up long enough to witness my pack's faithfulness to our cause. As my eyes slid shut and I fell into a peaceful slumber, I decided that a divine hand was almost definitely at work.
-
Awwwwww(continue ad nauseum)
Great job on that Rou, you never cease to amaze me.
-
It is probably just my (Catholic) interpretation but...
... In terms of power and righteousness, He was like nothing I had ever seen before. Even being in his presence filled me with awe.
And, along with it, a desire to become like him. ...
He...thinks I'm Vaisravana...
... but who in particular I'd been confused for was enough to fill me with pride once again. ...
this may become a problem.
-
It is probably just my (Catholic) interpretation but...this may become a problem.
Well, here's to hoping that Shou can learn an important lesson about pride and power. They aren't purely 'good' or 'bad', but it's instead how much of each you have that can cause their alignment to shift. Pride of a job well done is pride earned, and a desire to better yourself is a good thing - it means you want to make yourself worth something.
Pride for the sake of being proud and power for the sake of controlling, however... that's beyond the point where the line blurs.
-
gah i didn't mean to go for so long without an update i'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyy
---
"Shou."
I winced as I heard Nazrin call my name. Not from hearing her say it, of course, but from the dowsing rod she prodded me in the forehead with. I hadn't slept in for weeks now, but apparently yesterday's nostalgia trip had taken longer than I'd thought. This was her form of a wakeup call, and so far it had never failed.
"Gaah, that late? Sorry, gimme a minute..."
I pulled myself up into a sitting position, yawning as Nazrin pulled the rod away. My hair was in a state most young women would be disgusted by, but I'd always seen it as more unnatural to preen myself. Hair was for keeping you warm, not for making you look pretty. I rubbed at my eyes, still not quite awake.
"Guess I thought I'd get a day off after ordination. Vaisravana never waits, right?"
"There's something you need to see."
I managed to raise an eyebrow as I just about stepped out of bed. Nazrin pointed one of her rods at the window, and I trodded haphazardly over to it as my eyes started to gain focus.
"What's all the fuss about, Nazrin? What could be outside that-"
I stopped myself as I realised exactly what she was talking about. It was only a few feet away - just outside my room, but it definitely hadn't been there the night before. At first I thought the window had been boarded up - planks were running across its entirety. As I moved in I realised these planks were just part of a larger structure, but all that did was make me blink again.
"Nazrin...is there a ship parked outside the temple?"
"Yes."
"And it's on...dry land? As in...not water?"
"Pretty much."
"...Am I dreaming?"
I felt a rod being poked into my back.
"Ow!"
Nazrin smirked.
"Guess not."
Well, that settled it. The sheer bizarreness of the sight in front of me was enough to jolt me awake. I shook my head quickly to knock away any last traces of sleep, and grabbed the pagoda from the table I left it on every night.
"Guess we're on inspection duty, then. Hijiri is probably busy meditating, but we should be able to handle this ourselves."
It was still weird calling her that. Uncalled for, too high-class for me, but at the same time...pleasing. There wasn't time to be dwelling on that, though - Nazrin was biting her lip, which was never a good sign.
"You've...never fought before, have you? In that form, anyway."
"Ah-"
She raised a good point. If there was anyone on that ship I couldn't exactly pounce on an enemy and claw them. I'd never learned how to properly wield a weapon, either, not even the spear that Vaisravana was always meant to pose with. Nazrin sighed.
"I'm not exactly experienced myself...well, I guess we'll just have to hope we don't end up in any trouble. Let's go."
Her words were hardly comforting, but rather than sounding critical I could make out concern in her tone. She was worried about me, which made my heart rise a little, but at the same time I couldn't let her go in on her own, so it was either both of us or neither.
There was an ornamental spear lying in one of the unused side rooms that I quickly grabbed before slipping out of the temple. Nazrin led the way, walking around the side of the temple until we came to the mysterious ship parked right next to us. There was a wooden ramp leading down from the deck, presumably so its residents could depart. There was no sign of anyone, though, and we snuck onboard unnoticed.
The ship, for all its size, was remarkably unimaginative in its design. It was all the same wood, not even so much as a drop of paint for decoration. It looked more like a half-finished model ship - at least, one that a giant had forgotten about.
The door leading further into the ship hung open precariously. I noticed that the two of us had slowed down our walking pace - out of concern for the other or fear of something powerful lurking within. Maybe both. Eventually we slipped in, and found ourselves greeted by endless corridors of planked-wood.
"This place is big. Better stick together so we don't get lost."
Nazrin nodded as I offered some advice. I led the way, holding the pagoda so we could get some much needed light, while Nazrin kept track of how to get back to the entrance. Our steps echoed throughout the corridor, almost giving the impression that someone was trailing right behind us.
I was worried. Moving a ship like this would require immense power, assuming it wasn't magical. Someone had to be controlling it. Nazrin slipped a little closer to me, her arm rubbing against mine. I was grateful for the contact, relaxing a little.
"...Boring..."
We both froze in place as a voice echoed through the corridors - barely audible, but we could just about make out the words. The voice was young, female. Rough and agitated. As bad an idea as it probably was, we started to sneak up on the source, both of us stepping as quietly as possible.
"...How long is this gonna take? How long can that woman sit there with her legs crossed and hum to herself? Or is Ichirin off talking to that cloud friend of hers again? Ah, I dunno, but they'd better finish up soon!"
I didn't know who this 'Ichirin' person was, but the first person being mentioned was almost definitely Byakuren. I felt my pace quickening, along with my heartrate.
Before I knew it, we'd reached the room where the voice was coming from. It was behind a closed door, but definitely not locked. There was no doubting whose room it was - the words 'CAPTAIN MURASA MINAMITSU' had been written on the door itself in large, childish letters. It seemed almost too dramatic, too infantile, and for a moment I'm pretty sure Nazrin and I smiled as we entered the room.
There were a few trinkets lying around within - golden coins, torn parchment, nothing really in a well thought out place. Oddly, there was an anchor hung up on one of the walls, but I assumed it was just there for show. At the end of the room was a steering wheel, which was being idly spun by a young girl in the stereotypical white uniform of a sailor, her short black hair visible beneath her cap. She was so absorbed in this action that she didn't hear the door open behind her, and I stepped inside with caution.
"...This is ridiculous. I'm freakin' Captain Murasa Minamitsu. What makes these people think they can leaving me hanging while they have their fancy-schancy philosophical discu-"
This was around the time Murasa became aware of the footsteps behind her. She shut up, standing to attention with impressive formality as she adjusted the sailors' cap into its proper place. She turned her head as the wheel skidded to a halt, seeing Nazrin and I looking at her with a combination of confusion and fear.
"You're not who I was expecting to see."
It sounded joking, but there was a threat concealed within. I unconsciously took on a battle stance, strapping my pagoda to my side and wielding the spear in both hands. Nazrin had her twin dowsing rods primed and at the ready.
"I am Shou Toramaru, disciple of Vai-"
"I don't care who you are. There's only one thing that's important to me, kid."
Kid? That hardly seemed like a fitting term, given that this girl looked younger than I was. Still, she said it with enough authority and determination that I was hushed with ease. She turned to face us, and I got my first look into her pale teal eyes. She smirked with a disturbing confidence in her own ability.
"This is my ship. And I have no idea who you're supposed to be. Last time I checked, that made you an intruder."
She held one arm out to the wall, in the direction of the anchor. For a moment I had to resist laughing simply because it seemed totally ridiculous, but then I saw the heaving piece of metal wriggle a little. My heart froze.
I turned to look at Nazrin. She had the same worried gaze hanging in her eyes, and I knew for a fact she was thinking exactly the same thought as I was.
We're screwed.
"If we were at sea, I'd have you two stowaways walking off the plank..."
The anchor broke away from the wall, flying through the air and towards its owner. Murasa caught it at the handle, wielding it like a makeshift sword. The weight of it seemed irrelevant to her - she was lifting it like it was nothing.
"...But as it is, I'll have to settle for a good old-fashioned beatdown!"
-
I've never played UFO (or anything beyond IN, for that matter), and haven't really caught up at all on the new characters - but now suddenly I love how badass Cpt. Murasa is.
Also I totally <3 how awkward Shou is Is that sarcasm? :VNo, that's me just being 'moe-yay'. I have a weakness to moeblobs.
-
infantile, etc
CAPTAIN MURASA is too badass for your foolish notions of dignity! *anchor'd*
-
agaghgahgahgaghagh fight scenes are hard to write
---
Neither of us were really sure what to expect from Murasa. She was lifting the anchor with ease, true, but there was still a good five feet between her and us, and less than that between us and the door out. What could she do with it that would stop us getting out?
Nazrin and I realised this in unison, and darted for the door-
"Not so fast!"
I could make out Nazrin turning her head back at the pint-sized captain. Then, without a moment's thought, she threw herself at me.
"Ah-"
We hit the wooden floor hard. Or at least I did, Nazrin was lucky enough to have me as her human cushion. I grit my teeth in pain.
What the hell did she do that for?!
I didn't have the chance to turn my thought into words before the anchor flew past behind us, slamming into the door. It left a sizable mark on the wood, and for a moment I winced as I realised it would have left a larger mark on me.
...Never mind. Good call.
The anchor retracted, returning to Murasa's hand. Her eyes still spoke volumes about her own self-belief.
"Geez, are you two cowards or what? I haven't had a good fight in forever!"
I pulled myself to my feet, Nazrin following suit. Escape wasn't a tactic either of us were keen to try again, so the only option left was attack. But still, even at a glance we could tell this girl was much stronger than either of us. We had to play it smart.
"You take the right, I'll take the left."
Nazrin muttered Basic Tactics 101. I'd like to say it came to me as clearly as it did to her, but I was more than slightly distressed at this point. I envied her ability to keep cool when it mattered.
"R-Right!"
We split up, each taking one side of the room. Murasa's smirk didn't fade in the slightest. In fact, as we charged her from both sides, she only seemed to be more excited.
"Now THIS is more like it!"
If she blocked me, Nazrin would beat her senseless with her dowsing rods. And if she went for Nazrin, this spear would at least be sharp enough to do some considerable damage.
Which is why she went for neither, slamming her anchor into the floor instead.
"Whoa!"
From the spot where the anchor's tip hit the ground, there was a tiny explosion that distracted my sight for an instant. From within it, a series of light-blue dots emerged, flying towards both of us at once. I was too caught up in my momentum to stop entirely, and the best I could do was turn to the side and narrowly dodge the barrage aimed in my direction.
I felt it cut into the robes at my shoulder. There was pain, and blood. Nazrin was more fortunate than I was, escaping with only a few holes in her dress.
Murasa's smirk shifted into an outright laugh.
"Aw, come on! Don't tell me you kids have never heard of danmaku before?"
I grimaced, as beside me Nazrin's stern face started to fall. Neither of us could fight at a distance, and if Murasa could attack like that we had no hope of getting near. The captain was as aware of her superiority as we were.
"Don't worry, kiddies. Captain Murasa's gonna give you a quick lesson!"
She lifted the anchor up again, and swung it in an arc. The tip of the air drew a line in the air, and another stream of bullets emerged from within. This time it spread across the entirety of the room, closing in on us with haste.
So many...! Is there a way out of this?!
There was no time to think, and I reacted on instinct alone. My body twisted and turned, trying to wean its way through the advancing storm of bullets. I felt near-misses grazing my arms, my legs, my sides, not enough to disable me but more than enough to hurt. But as the last bullet flew past me, the pain was enough to tell me I had survived.
Nazrin, again, benefited from being smaller than I was and managed to find a way to advance amidst the barrage. She broke ahead, wielding her rods as makeshift weapons and charging the captain head-on. She was gambling on an opening after an attack like that-
"Idiot!"
A gamble that earned her an anchor to the face.
"NAZRIN!"
She spun a full 360 degrees through the air as the impact sent her into a wall. I could make out blood dripping down one side of her head as she lay slumped on the floor, grimacing.
Immediately my body flew into overdrive, and logical reasoning fell out the window. I charged at Murasa fearlessly and recklessly. She hurt Nazrin. She was going to pay. I lunged forward, striking at her with my spear-
"Too easy."
-and gasped as she sidestepped it without a second thought. She caught the weapon in one hand, stronger than any force I could match. The spear stopped dead as she raised her anchor again, this time pointing the handle at me.
"I'll deal with you later."
The hook of the anchor caught me in the neck as it flew backwards across the room, smashing into the opposite wall. It dug itself in to the point where it nearly choked me, and my efforts to budge the weapon were unsurprisingly in vain. She had taken us both out with embarrassing ease, leaving us on opposite sides of the room.
She walked up to the still slumped Nazrin, who by now was trying to use her rods as makeshift crutches. I could just make out the glint in the captain's eyes at the sight of it.
"Now, you're clearly the brains of the package. There's only one punishment fitting for stowaways, and that's a trip to Davy Jones' Locker. But since we aren't at sea, this will have to do-!"
She clicked her fingers, and Nazrin winced as she expected the bullets to tear through her. A flash of light enveloped her, and as it faded she found herself encased in a bubble of water.
Panic entered her eyes instantly. She immediately reached out for the edge of the entrapment, only to find that some unseen force was stopping her. She started to pound at it with her hands, stab at it with her rods, but her watery prison refused to budge. Murasa laughed.
"Not so tough now, are you, you little rat? This is what you get for messing with Captain Murasa Minamitsu!"
Nazrin was too busy beating away at the walls to notice. She was getting dizzy. She couldn't see, she couldn't hear, and she couldn't hold her breath forever. And all I could do was watch her from a distance, caught in place by this anchor.
"Nnnnnnnnngh!"
No amount of effort on my part was going to free me. Murasa's anchor wasn't notably heavy, but she must have been consciously holding it in place. My strength couldn't hope to match that.
The feeling of helplessness was horrifying. Nazrin was dying in front of me, and there was nothing I could do about it. The thought that I was next didn't even cross my mind.
"B...bbl..."
Nazrin's hands moved to her mouth. Bubbles started to slip out, in larger and larger quantites by the second. Seeing her suffering like that...in so much pain...I couldn't take it.
"Glb...blagl...Shou...!"
Hearing her call for me was the last straw.
Somewhere, deep down, I snapped.
"...You..."
My hand lifted itself of its own accord. At my side, the pagoda started to let of another brilliant light. Murasa turned to me, only vaguely interested. I wasn't planning tactics or thinking through a plan of attack. There was only one thought running through my mind, one I made loud and clear.
"GET AWAY FROM HER!"
I cried at the top of my voice, the old ferocity of the tiger returning for an instant. A faint green orb appeared in front of my hand, and from it emerged a like-coloured line of light which threw itself across the room at Murasa.
"Heh, amateur..."
Unfazed, Murasa simply stepped to the side again. From what she knew of danmaku the laser would simply continue on its course and miss her entirely, colliding uselessly with the wall.
I had never learned anything like that, though. Seeing her dodge, I willed the laser to curve to the side and hit her.
To both of our surprises, the laser complied.
"...the he-"
Murasa didn't have time to finish her exclamation before the laser caught her with a direct hit. It slipped through her body visibly, leaving no marks on her, but as her eyes glossed over it was clear it had done its job. The proud captain fell to the floor in a heap, motionless.
The bubble of water collapsed, leaving a soaked and spluttering Nazrin lying in a large puddle. Likewise the anchor in the wall gave way, and with some effort I managed to free myself from my own bonds.
"Nazrin! Are you okay?!"
I dashed across the room the instant I could, wrapping my arms around her. I hoped she wouldn't be able to make out my tears for the water hanging on her face. She choked out a response between gasps for air.
"Haah...Shou...next time...mind doing that...a little sooner? You didn't have to...cut it so close..."
The wisecracks were enough. She was talking, she was alive. I hugged her with all the strength I had left.
After a few minutes, I managed to pull her to her feet. Neither of us had got away unharmed, but youkai were pretty good at recovering from physical injuries. Already I could barely make out the head-wound Nazrin had taken earlier. We had survived. It was over.
"...No..."
Or so we thought.
No way...!?
The body on the floor did not stir, but the pair of us heard a voice rising from it. A pale-green flame swathed its way across the body, enveloping it completely. Within instants only the fire remained, and it rose into the air and took shape again.
A shape neither of us wanted to see standing or talking.
"What the hell was that?! You dirty little cheater! Lasers aren't meant to curve! How was I meant to see that coming!?"
Murasa's body had taken on a green tint by itself. I slowly became aware that this her true form - the body we'd managed to destroy was just a shell.
She had been a ghost this whole time.
"Do you even know how long it takes to manifest a body like that? Hours! You two have wasted enough of my time, you hear me?!"
Murasa opened her arms out, and in front of her a line of anchors appeared from nowhere. Each carried the same pale tint as she did, but there was no doubt as to whether they were dangerous. The look in her eyes had transformed into sheer anger.
Yeah, we're definitely screwed.
"Murasa, wait!"
The still-dented door was pulled open, taking the three of us by surprise as a new voice echoed through the room. Byakuren rushed in, followed by a girl I didn't recognise - a white dress, with some sort of blue headdress where some of her own light blue hair still seeped out. A large pink cloud seemed to be balanced over her shoulder, but that was the least of my worries at this point.
The captain turned to her side, agitated. The anchors still hung in front of her menacingly.
"What is it, Ichirin?! I'm sort of busy dealing with a pair of stowaways here!"
"These two are aligned with Vaisravana, Murasa. They are with me."
Byakuren showed her rarely-seen stern look as she stared the captain down. Murasa's face jumped from anger to shock, then to confusion.
"What?! But they...they..."
"Wait, you know Hijiri?!"
I was as surprised by this turn of events as Murasa was. We stared at each other with identical looks of puzzlement.
For almost a minute, we let the realisation dawn on us.
"...I, uh...did try to say who I was, but..."
Murasa's green tint was starting to give way to a faint red. She began to take an interest in the floor planks as the anchors in front of her faded away.
"...Lucky shot."
I had to smile at that one. When she got flustered, she was almost...cute.
"Now, now, you two. Let's get back to the temple. I have some tea ready for all of you, if you'd like. And I'll need to see to your clothes, you two - Shou, your robes are torn all over the place, and Nazrin - oh, we need to get you into something else before you catch a cold!"
Byakuren shifted back to camaraderie-mode, seeing no need to lecture the ghost any longer. It was strange seeing the atmosphere change in the room so quickly, from sheer aggression to awkward friendship.
In retrospect, I can't say it was the best start between Murasa and myself as friends. But to this day I've never quite met someone in the same way I met her. Which may well be better for my health...
-
Shou's curvy lasers strike again!
-
Shou's curvy lasers strike again!
More like, they strike the first time! |3
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This has to be one of the best fanfics i've read in my life, keep up the good work!
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yet another interesting update, Rou, keep on writing!
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Love how even the characters think Shou's lasers are goddamn cheaters.
Also, ICHIRIN~~~
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I haven't played UFO, but I'm enjoying these characters so much that now I want to. Shou as a tiger in the beginning segments was especially interesting. Anyway, just letting you know you have another reader!
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Gah, why do I only ever feel like writing when it's REEEEEEALLY late? D:
---
This was the first time we had ever had guests at the temple, but fortunately Byakuren took on the role of host to the newcomers. At the same time, she sewed up the tears in my robes from the skirmish (while I was wearing them, and while she was distracted by a conversation with the girl in the hood - and she did a perfect job regardless!) and pulled out a new set of clothes for the drenched Nazrin. It was a simple pair of plain grey robes, which she accepted gracefully enough, but I managed to catch her murmuring that they weren't as 'cute' as what she normally wore.
There were an extra two seats hastily crammed in under the dining table for our new guests. Byakuren's only response in terms of cooking was to make a slightly larger pile of her non-descript grey sludge than usual, though she only bothered making enough to feed four. Murasa had expected a helping, but her hopes were dashed when in trying to grab the spoon in front of her she proceeded to shift her hand through the table.
"Gah, it's been ages since I had to worry about this..."
She watched, still feeling left out, as her companion received a share. I still didn't know much about her - she had introduced herself earlier as Ichirin Kumoi, but it was only a passing greeting as she went off to chat with Byakuren. That, or she would turn her head to the side and mutter something in the direction of the pink cloud still hanging over her shoulder. It was only at the dinner table that I struck up the nerve to ask.
"Uh...Kumoi-san?"
She turned away from another of her inner monologues, looking to me with a sincere smile.
"Toramaru-san, wasn't it? I'm to believe you managed to kill my friend here - at least, as far as she can be killed now."
Murasa didn't take to that one well, flailing around as she let off her complaints. At least she didn't have to worry about hitting anyone.
"Aw, come on, quit rubbing it in! It was a one-off, seriously! I just dodged that laser and then WHOOSH, it's coming right at me again! That's not how lasers are supposed to work, dammit!"
I could make out Byakuren's giggling from the other side of the table, but Ichirin seemed to take her completely seriously, nodding in approval.
"...Hm, yes, that does seem troublesome. ...Well, true, I use lasers occasionally, but they're straight more often than not..."
Here she was descending into another conversation with herself. It was enough to remind me what I'd been meaning to ask from the beginning.
"Yeah, why do you keep talking to yourself like that? It's kinda...awkward sometimes."
Ichirin looked puzzled for a moment, as if she didn't understand what I was talking about. I saw the realisation dawn on her visibly.
"Ah, I see. You haven't been introduced, have you?"
She placed one hand on top of the cloud, moving it forward slightly. As it closed in, I started to make out the first hints of eyes, a nose, a mouth-
"Gah?!"
I nearly knocked my chair backwards as I flinched on reflex. It was faint, very faint, but I could just barely see the face of an man within the cloud. Another giggle from Byakuren, with Murasa laughing much louder, and Nazrin simply looking towards me with a cocky grin. Ichirin, though, stayed as straight and calm as ever.
"Toramaru-san, this is Unzan. He's a nyuudou. I apologise, he's not very good at talking to other people..."
The cloud retracted back to Ichirin's shoulder, floating around her ear. I could just about make out a whisper coming from that direction.
"No, Unzan, it's alright, she isn't scared of you, not at all...really, you just took her by surprise..."
She took another bite of her gruel as she tried to comfort her companion. As she chewed on it I saw her eyes light up for a moment.
"H-Hey, Unzan! This stuff seems a little lumpy! Think you can help?"
The cloud rose into the air slightly, floating above the bowl of supposedly lumpy food. I had no idea what she was talking about - all the times I'd eaten this I'd never found it particularly lumpy. Was she trying to console Unzan or somethi-
SLAM.
In a flash, the cloud took on the form of a large pink fist, slamming itself into the contents of the bowl. Nazrin and I both stared blankly into the bowl as the fist pulled itself out and shook away any food that had caught onto it. We then looked upon the cracks emerging in the wood beneath the bowl.
"...Well, that's, um...impressive."
I couldn't think of anything clever to say. Between Murasa's anchor-wielding, bullet-barraging assaults and Ichirin's floating fist, Byakuren had apparently managed to choose a pair of very aggressive acquaintances.
"So, uh, you two and Hijiri go way back, right? Maybe ten, twenty years?"
Murasa's face lightened in response to this as she failed to hold in a laugh.
"Ten? Twenty?! Don't be stupid, it's more like-"
She stopped short, for some reason. In the corner of my eye, I could just notice Byakuren glaring at the captain, killing her conversation dead.
"...Uh, I'd say it's more like five years. Not that long, really."
There was an air of uneasiness at the table. It was blatantly clear that this wasn't a topic any of them wanted to discuss, and the atmosphere was enough to convince me it wasn't worth it. My attention turned to Nazrin, who was equally offput by the sudden change in mood. We nodded quietly before returning to our food.
And all the while, Byakuren was wearing the same, cheerful smile she had since our return. No stress, no irritation, nothing.
It had never seemed so artificial before, but now the cracks seemed to be showing.
---
After dinner, the pair of us were told to head straight to our chambers while Byakuren talked with her old friends. We opted for a bypass of sorts, with the pair of us sitting in my room as the sun set. They were in the meditation hall, too far away for us to hear them. By now, Nazrin was happy to have her old clothes back on, good and dry.
"...Something's going on."
Nazrin spoke plainly, as usual.
"Yeah. There was a thing a while back when I asked Hijiri about when she met you...what could she be hiding?"
There were a few more seconds of silence. Nazrin got up off the bed, suddenly moving toward the door.
"Hey, where are you-"
I didn't have time to finish before she closed the door on me and walked out to the corridor. I followed suit, though not out of willingness as much as confusion.
"Nazrin, where are you going? Hijiri said to-"
"She won't be able to hear us. Just follow me."
She continued on regardless. I felt my stomach tie into a knot. Wherever she was going, she wasn't meant to be there, but could I let her risk that on her own? For an instant, my mind fought with my heart again.
As usual when it came to Nazrin, my heart won.
"...Dammit, Nazrin...why do I always get dragged along...?"
I found myself tip-toeing alongside her down the dark corridors of the temple. I could make out distant murmuring, but Byakuren's conversation was still a secret.
"W...Wait. Nazrin, if we go this way, we'll reach Hijiri's personal quarters."
"Exactly. If there's anything to find, it'll be there, right?"
I gulped. Resolving this whole dilemma was all well and good, but weren't we overdoing it a little? Still, as I caught a glimpse of the shining pendant aroudn Nazrin's neck, I decided that she was on the right trail.
The door was unlocked, which was unsurprising - she had never felt the need to lock it as we'd never had the urge to sneak in.
"...Sorry, Hijiri..."
I whispered an apology as I let myself in. Byakuren's room was, as expected, rather simple. A bed, a table, a book of scriptures, and that was it.
As Nazrin searched under the bed and the table for anything useful, I picked up the tome. It was presumably Byakuren's own private copy - it was in slightly better quality than the ones I'd used, but the content within seemed the same.
"...Huh? There's a bookmark..."
I turned to the page that had been marked, hoping to see a picture or a scripture which would suggest something.
"...This is no good. It's just one of the tales of Myouren."
It was one of the stories I had read as extra content. The Buddhist priest Myouren had appeared in several of these tales, but this in particular was the story of his older sister. Apparently, she'd been looking to reunite with him and, after sleeping in the temple where he'd once trained, received a vision fortelling that she would meet him on the other side of a nearby mountain. There was an illustration of him too - simplistic, but with a pair of strong, determined hazel eyes.
"...But this was written centuries ago. Why would she have something like this...?"
Behind me, Nazrin's tail could just be made out from beneath Byakuren's bed. It stood up for an instant as she backed up, holding a scrap of paper. She examined it, her face scrunching up a little.
"...Huh. She didn't have a boyfriend, did she?"
She pondered to herself as she looked over the picture. From here I could make out two figures standing next to each other, roughly the same height - one in Buddhist robes, the other in a mostly-black getup. The only other detail I caught was a pair of brown dots-
"W-Wait, give me that!"
I grabbed the picture from Nazrin's hands.
"Hey, watch it!"
I pulled the picture towards me, examining it more intently. The girl on the left was clearly Byakuren, but younger, and smiling more powerfully than I'd ever seen her smile before. Her companion was unfamiliar to me, but the sharpness of his eyes were all the confirmation I needed.
My mouth went dry. My eyes turned to the open book, then to the picture, then back again.
"Hey, Shou, what're you...?"
I couldn't answer. My brain had just about stopped functioning. There was no way my suspicion could be true, it was ridiculous, it was-
"Barging in, I see."
A voice from the doorway. Byakuren's stern glare came down on me, but she knew she was too late. The picture and the scripture were all the proof I needed. Nazrin simply stood aside, having no idea what was going on.
"Hijiri. The scriptures never refer to the monk Myouren by his last name, do they?"
"...No, they do not."
A new emotion was seeping into her voice. It was only now I really appreciated how little emotion she had been capable off - she could be helpful, or she could be severe. This was the first time I had ever seen her showing guilt.
"...You knew him, didn't you?"
There was a long pause before she answered.
"...There's no use hiding it any more, is there? I discovered your secret, so I suppose it is only fair that you learn mine."
I turned around to face her head on, and I saw something that I had never thought to be possible.
"The man in the scriptures is Myouren Hijiri. He was my brother."
Byakuren was crying.
-
After having read so many little stories about Byakuren whupping ass on the UFO cast for whatever reason, I'm pleasantly surprised to see her actually submit to something other than badassery.
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As fond as I am of badass Byakuren, seeing her vulnerable like this is just as awesome, albeit heartbreaking.
;_;
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Huh, Myouren. I wasn't expecting him to make an appearence. I am pleasantly surprised. I like where this is going.
Also Murasa apparently needs to work at her TK skills. Well and dodging curving lasers, but that's something everyone needs to work on.
I wonder where I can look up stuff about the actual monk Myouren. Something to try at work....
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Byakuren is going to need turbo snuggles :x
-
To say the trip we took to the meditation hall was awkward would be giving it too much credit. Nazrin and I stayed silent, walking as if we were treading on needles the whole time. Byakuren lead, stopping either of us from seeing her face, but the slump in her shoulders spoke volumes. I had never seen her look so downtrod before in all the time I'd known her, and from the look of her face neither did Nazrin.
Ichirin and Murasa (now back in her physical body) were sitting patiently as we entered the hall. Both of them turned to Byakuren with comforting faces, which on the captain seemed almost alien.
"You okay, Hijiri? You look like you're-"
Murasa's words came to a halt as Byakuren entered the room completely. To be more precise, it was at the sight of the two girls following her.
"...Hey. I thought you said we were gonna keep them out of this?"
Byakuren was silent for a moment. I could see her hands trembling slightly at her sides.
"I underestimated their curiosity, Murasa. Now we may as well tell them everything."
Murasa's eyes widened in surprise, and she turned to us. I was hardly willing to return her glare - I was embarrassed at how I'd made Byakuren cry, for what had seemingly been the first time.
It would turn out that the Byakuren I knew was a lot stronger and resolute than the real one.
"...Shou, Nazrin. I ask that you at least listen to my story in its entirety before you begin to judge. It may seem absurd at times, but I ask that you please give me a chance to explain myself."
I had never heard such a desperate tone in her voice before, and she still couldn't bring herself to face me. It hurt me to see her like this.
So I came up from behind and wrapped my arms around her.
"Ah-"
"Don't be an idiot, Hijiri. I know you wouldn't hurt a fly."
The tension in Byakuren's body faded as she let out a heaving sigh. For a moment, I thought that my sentiment had managed to calm her.
Then the nerves returned, worse than ever.
"Except that's the problem, Shou. You don't know me. Not at all."
---
"As I said before, my brother was a monk by the name of Myouren Hijiri. He was younger than me, and as he was a man he was ordinated while I was not. There were particularly strict rules about gender at the time, you see - it was believed enlightenment could only be reached by men, and that being born as a woman was a sign of bad karma. But I digress.
I accepted for many years that I would never see my brother again, but as my mother and father passed away I found myself painfully lonely. We lived too far from any village or town for me to have met any children my own age, and I was uneducated once again as a result of my gender. What I did know of Buddhism I learned from what my brother had left behind before his ordination. So I instead visited the monastery where Myouren resided, only to be told that he had left to build his own monastery somewhere in the mountains.
I was devastated - my dear brother, the only family I had left, gone to be a wandering hermit? For some time I was inconsolable, and the monks were generous enough to offer me a bed for the night. It was then that I had the vision that was recorded in the scriptures - a purple cloud hanging over a nearby mountain, and beneath it the face of Myouren smiling at me. I woke up in a cold sweat, fear and elation coming on me in unison. That morning I made my way to the mountain in my dreams, and as the dream had foretold I found my brother there, surrounded by planks of wood and construction tools.
It was a wonderful feeling when he saw me, turned away from his business and wrapped his arms around me. My brother's soul was strong, much stronger than mine, and he took the death of our parents with almost no regret. 'It is a fact of life,' he told me, 'that one day all things must die.' I remember nodding along with him back them, but deep down I was unconvinced by his words. Death seemed frightening, ominous - the idea of a great unknown that none of us could escape. I never voiced these fear to Myouren - it would seem weak and offensive to disagree with him when he was far more accomplished than I in his teachings."
She told the story with a surprising amount of fluency. Clearly this wasn't the first time it had been passed on. She had yet to touch on the real question, though - wasn't that story written hundreds of years ago?
"He had been in the middle of building what he called the Tobikura, or the Soaring Vault. It was intended as a place where he could both store offerings and reside in himself. At my arrival, though, he changed his design significantly in order to make room for me. My brother was very considerate.
His magical power was immense as well. When he called it the Soaring Vault, it was not a metaphor - he literally had the power to send it flying into the air at his will. Just by being near power of that magnitude, I gained some strength myself. He trained me in the ways of the monk, regardless of my supposed inability to attain enlightenment. I never matched his sheer power, though, and had to be content with being able to moving around pots and pans.
And so, that was our life. Myouren would move the Tobikura from place to place, visiting towns and accepting offerings. He only ever took as much as he needed, though, and gave to me everything else that we received. Because I didn't qualify as a monk I wasn't held to the same restrictions he was, he wouls say to justify it. He was generous like that. Perhaps...a little too generous, even."
She paused for the briefest of moments. Her hands clunched to fists as they hung on her lap.
"I had seen it. He grew thinner and thinner with each passing day, and I begged him to accept some of my own helpings for his own sake. Each and every time he would refuse me, holding to his vows to never take in more than he thought necessary. I could see his face growing pale, his skin losing its colour, his eyes losing their light, but he refused to accept any help. He wouldn't even request anything of a doctor. He would simply look at me, smile with all his heart, and say 'My time will come when it comes.'
I...I trusted him. He was Myouren, my brother. He was more powerful than I was, by some margin. I had hoped that I was simply being paranoid, that I loved my brother so much that his loss could bring about such an unjustified fear.
So every night, I would murmur it in my sleep, as if to make my hopes a reality. 'Myouren will be alright. Myouren will be alright.' Over and over until fatigue claimed me. For a few months, it seemed to work."
Another silence, longer this time. Byakuren's head slunk down, and little drops of water landed on her hands.
"...One night, Myouren was moving the Tobikura across the province in the middle of night. He had done it several times before, but something caught in my throat as I tried to sleep. I can't describe it in words. Perhaps it was a premonition, or an omen, or simply unease. Whatever it was, it kept me awake long into the night.
Beneath me, the Tobikura rocked violently, sending me tumbling out of bed. I was uninjured, save a few scrapes and bruises, but it was a clear sign that something was very wrong. Myouren could pilot the Tobikura with his eyes closed - he'd never made a mistake like that before. As I ran towards his quarters - a tiny, featureless room even more basic than my own - I could feel a lightness in my stomach that I wrote off as the giddiness of adrenaline..."
Byakuren's head rose up slightly, but she never stopped to look at me or Nazrin. Her eyes turned away, looking up into the distance blankly. Words would slip out of her mouth, but they no longer seemed intentional - she was lost in her own world at the moment, lost in reminiscence. She wasn't just remembering what had happened.
She was living it all over again.
---
"M-Myouren!"
Things are falling. All around me. Tomes, bracelets, what little cutlery we have, everything. The Tobikura itself is shaking as if within a quake. This has never happened before, not with Myouren - he is too skilled, too talented to move it so haphazardly. My stomach gets lighter and lighter as I make it to his quarters and open the door.
Immediately I assume the worst. My fears of so long are coming true after all - my brother is dead, leaving me all alone just like I feared he would. My eyes instinctively close themselves, refusing to look in case I'm right. I freeze, too frightened to make a step into the room or look within.
"..Bya...Byakuren...?"
A voice. Myouren. Weak. But I don't care. A voice means he's alive. I step in entirely, looking at him, still managing to maintain his meditation stance. He is a sorry state - months of malnourishment have ravaged him, and his robes now seem almost too large to fit him. He turns to me with a weary twist of his neck. His eyes are dull, almost lifeless.
Immediately I wrap my arms around him, digging my head into his shoulder.
"You're alright...I was so worried, with all the crashing and..."
A sharp exhale pushed its way out of his nose. Myouren shared none of my relief, his eyes looking downward.
"Byakuren. I must apologise to you. It seems your concerns were right after all."
"...Eh?"
He couldn't have said that. He didn't say that. Please, please, tell me he didn't say that.
"I am weaker than I had thought myself to be. My magic has weakened as well, and now it seems even the tasks I thought meagre are beyond me."
The lightness in my stomach heightens. Moreso because it now dawns on me that it is not simply fear alone that is causing it.
"Then...you mean..."
He manages a nod.
"Yes. The Tobikura is falling out of the sky."
My mind goes blank for an instant. I can't understand this. This isn't happening.
"C...Can you stop it?"
He shakes his head. The guilt is plain to see on his face.
"I have no power to stop it. All we can do is brace ourselves for the crash."
Brace ourselves? How? We're in a flying building that's falling to the ground at near terminal velocity. No-one can survive a crash like this, surely?!
Myouren sees my face, wrought with horror. He manages to make his usual stern face.
"There is...one teaching. One...spell. You should be advanced enough to perform it now, and it will save you."
I do not question his words. Even if he was a witch doctor, I would not question them. Because to accept them as wrong would be to consign myself to death.
Death. The scriptures say it is inevitable. Part of samsara. Part of the great cycle. But how can it be so natural if it is so painful? So tragic? If death is acceptable, why did I weep over my fallen mother and father? Why, then, does even the thought of losing Myouren chill my blood?
Am I simply too weak to-
"Byakuren, focus. You don't have long."
Myouren knocks me out of my delirium.
"Y-Yes!"
I fall to my knees in front of him, matching his posture. He is slumped, too tired to sit upright, but I copy him anyway. I see something resembling a smile on his face for a moment.
"Good. Now, repeat after me."
He closes his eyes, a dull purple aura rising from him.
"The mind is everything. What I think, I become."
"T-The mind is everything. What I think, I become."
I stutter on my words in fear, feeling a like-coloured aura build around myself. If I fail to keep my mind clear, I will die for certain. How am I supposed to stay calm when my own life is at stake?
"I am a mountain, still and unfazed by the coming wind. Whatever challenge arises, I shall not be broken down."
"I am a mountain, still and unfazed by the coming wind. Whatever challenge arises, I shall not be broken down..."
I can feel a new energy surging through me. The magic I had built up over time thanks to overexposure to the Tobikura is manifesting itself as physical strength. Already I have no doubt I am more powerful than the strongest warrior on the ground below.
And as I think that, instantly the spell fades.
"Ah?!"
The aura shorts out around me, and my body weakens again. These powers are not granted to one of an impure mind, and my ego was enough to deem me unworthy. Another violent shake of the Tobikura knocks me out of my stance, and my focus is lost.
No. No no no no no. I don't want to die, not yet, I'm so young and I haven't reached enlightenment and I can't leave Myouren alone and it'll hurt it'll hurt it'll hurt-
A hand rests itself on my shoulder.
"Relax, Byakuren."
I don't realise I'm crying until I turn to Myouren and see him as a blurred mess. I wipe my eyes, seeing the aura around him fading as well.
I feel stronger.
He isn't. He isn't.
"I don't want you to die here if you are still afraid, Byakuren. This is all I can offer you."
He is.
"I am ill, Byakuren. Even if I survive this, I have perhaps a few months left in me. Better that you survive than I do."
His body almost seems to be withering as the aura leaves him and enters my body. He smiles to me.
No. Why is he smiling? He's going to die now. When the Tobikura crashes it's going to kill him. How can he be happy?!
"No...Myouren, don't do this..."
I try to call to him, but my voice is weak. I barely manage to croak out the words, but he keeps smiling anyway.
"Do not cry for me, Byakuren. My time has come. I wish for your happiness in the future."
Why is he doing this? I can't stand it. I can't stand that smile of his, so sincere and honest even when death's staring him in the face. Why isn't he scared like I would be in this situation? This isn't happening. It's all just a nightmare and I'm going to wake up and Myouren will be right next to me and he'll tell me it's all perfectly fine.
"Myouren, please! Please, don't! Don't leave me alone like this! I lo-"
A deafening sound. An entire vault of wood collides with the ground with tremendous force. I lose him as the world falls into a million pieces around me.
It hurts. Even if I am strong enough to survive it, it is still painful. I feel my body slam into the ground, bouncing once before sliding along. Battered planks of the Tobikura fly along with me, some of them colliding with me as they fall. I can hear the bones in my arms and legs snapping, and the heat from the friction burns at my clothes until they fall away.
After what feels like an eternity, I come to a stop. I am still in agony, but I am alive. I cannot move, but already my bones are knitting themselves back together. I will survive, though it will take a while to recover.
My hand is lying on something. I pull my head up, and make out that it is roughly the shape of a person. He is stripped bare, with only tatters of the orange robes he had worn remaining. I am touching his chest, pressing down on it.
I feel no heartbeat.
"A-Ah...aah..."
The pain is immaterial now. My throat aches as I moan, but I cannot stop it. Tears stream down my face freely as I try in vain to move my hands to embrace the fallen monk. My arms are still limp, and my body has reached its limit - all the effort does is drive me closer into unconsciousness.
Two final thoughts run through my mind before I pass out. Firstly, that my brother is dead.
Secondly, that I am now completely and utterly alone in the world.
-
:ohdear: Stop messing with my emotions Rou! :ohdear:
-
Ow, my heartstrings
-
There was a painful silence as Byakuren's last words tailed off. Her eyes seemed blank, almost empty as a few stray tears made their way down her cheek. At her side, Murasa was looking away instincitvely, while Ichirin was patting Unzan on the head and murmuring words of comfort.
My heart felt like it had been stepped on. Sitting next to me, Nazrin had bent her neck downwards so as to stop the others from seeing her face. I was the only one close enough to make out the little drops of water that were falling on her dress.
I placed my hand on her lap as a sign of solidarity. I could hear her murmur something under her breath.
"...Don't make me go through something like that. Please."
I nodded. What else could I do? I couldn't have wished that sort of incident on her - on anyone, in fact. Byakuren had just about managed to regain herself, starting on the story again.
"My memory of the next few weeks is hazy. We-no. I was fortunate enough to have landed close to a small human settlement. They took me in and nursed me back to health, to whatever extent my body wasn't able to on its own. They were just faces to me. I paid them no mind.
The image just played over in my head, repeating endlessly. The last smile on Myouren's face before he died. Not because I wanted to remember him, but because it was so horrifying. When I slept, I dreamt that I was lying beside his body again, as cold and lifeless as it had been when they found me. They told me it was a miracle that I had survived a fall like that. Not that it mattered to me. I would have given everything I owned if it meant I could have back my brother. But those deals don't exist, do they...?"
She was getting emotional again. I bit my lip.
"U-Uh, Hijiri. It's okay if you want to stop here-"
"No. It's not okay. You need to know, because in a few days your lives as you know them will be over and it's all my fault."
She snapped at me, with a feral desperation in her eyes. It vanished soon after, replaced by guilt.
"...I'll be fine. I've told this story before. Don't worry about me."
"But-"
"Just let her finish, dammit. You're not making things easier."
Murasa joined in, silencing me completely. I immediately regretted speaking out in the middle of her soliloquy, feeling myself shrink visibly.
Nazrin clasped her hand tighter around mine. It helped a little. Byakuren started to speak again.
"...Anyway. After a few weeks I was physically fit and able to walk. It comforted me to know that Myouren had received a burial - the norm for monks was to have their bodies left in the open for the vultures to peck at and feed on. It would be a lesson on anicca, the concept of impermanence.
...I don't think I would have been able to deal with seeing him like that.
The Tobikura was almost completely destroyed after the crash. There was likely another lesson in that - even something as magnificent and miraculous as the Soaring Vault would come to a painful, abrupt end. Not that I would have noticed at the time - I was too caught up in my own despair to truly pay attention to the world around me. I collected what remnants of the Tobikura I could and took them around wherever I went. They were my last mementos of my brother, all I had to remember him by. Just planks of wood. Looking back, I guess I was rather pathetic..."
If anything, the worst part was when she stopped talking, when we had to contend with that awful silence. If it weren't for Nazrin's warm hand in mine, I would have likely burst into tears myself at the thought of it. I felt a newfound pity for Byakuren - I had never realised her life had been so arduous.
"I travelled, moving from village to village and surviving on donations as I had with Myouren. It was a hard life, but it was all I could manage. I was uneducated, and I had no family to tend to. I performed minor ceremonies, but I was never really taken seriously - after all, I was a woman. What right did I have to be a monk?
And amongst all this, there was another problem I couldn't bring myself to face. It was an undeniable fact that with every step I took, every breath, every instant of time, I was slowly dying. Maybe it would be tomorrow, maybe I would die of old age decades from now. Perhaps even more frightening was the fact I wouldn't know until it was too late. Death hung over me, haunting my dreams and fuelling my nightmares."
Things seemed to be coming to a head now. Her head rose again, and looked to me.
"Shou. You are aware of the paradox in my story, correct?"
Hearing her suddenly return to her stern, severe voice stunned me for a moment, and even then it was hard for me to force out a nod. I didn't want to hear any more of this. I wanted to go back to our everyday lives and act like this had never happened. But the time for that had ended long ago.
"...Yes. The tale of Myouren was written centuries ago. Which would make you the oldest human alive."
Byakuren shrugged.
"I wonder if I'm even human anymore. The truth is, one day the fear of dying simply became too much for me to bear. I decided to disregard the scriptures, my teachings, and even the advice of Myouren. Ahead of every other desire I had - for enlightenment, for love, for anything - I absolutely did not want to die.
Buddhism does not disagree with the idea that gods exist. It simply claims that they are trapped in the same cycle of death and rebirth as we are. And so...I delved into the dark arts. The forbidden rituals. The power of demons. All for a way to maintain my youth for all eternity."
My stomach caved in on itself. That was exactly what I'd been fearing - to extend a life beyond its natural span was a violation of samsara, of the natural order of the world. Only demons would be so willing to take this order apart.
"It took years to find a tome describing the ritual, and longer still to collect what I needed. By the time I had finally finished the preparations I was already rather aged myself, but at last everything was ready.
I would live forever. But to do so, I had to literally sell my soul to the devil."
---
"...There. That's the circle done, to the letter."
I am panting, which is mildly distressing. Twenty years ago, I would have been able to put this ritual together with no strain whatsoever. Now, it seems I've been cursed with the rattling bones of an old woman.
All the more reason to carry on, then.
I have found a large clearing in an old, withering forest. A complicated magical circle is drawn out on the floor, lines dug lightly into the barren earth. There are runes and symbols in a language I cannot say I truly understand. Words from a language long forgotten, long sent spiralling into another world entirely.
I do not have the tome with me. I no longer need it - I have memorised every aspect of this ritual to a tee. I only need to perform one more step now, and it is a step I have practised many times.
I take from a bag at my side a small bottle, filled with blood. It is mine, and it is a collection I have been building up for some time. A drop a day, as the spell said, for ten years of the caster's life. A sign of dedication, they call it. I place it at my feet, holding a small knife in my hand.
I prick my finger. I winced the first time, but by now I am used to it. I hold the finger above the open bottle, waiting for a drop of fresh blood to slip into it. There is a tiny plop as it lands. The blood within looks roughly the same as it did before, but it now holds a meaning it did not before.
Carefully, I lift the bottle into my hands again. For a moment, I wonder what would happen if I were to drop it now. Ten years of effort wasted, and I may not even survive the next ten. My hands grip it with inhuman strength as that fear crosses my mind.
I make it to the edge of the clearing, dropping to my knees. The imprints on the ground are an intricate symbol, but they mean nothing without power. This spell is ironically powered by life itself - the blood I have collected acts as fuel. The book advised using the lives of others to hasten the process, but that was a level I had no intention of stooping to.
"Alright. Please, please, work."
Carefully, I tip the bottle. Its contents seep out, landing on the markings on the ground and sliding along the paths I have made for them. After so long they seem to move on their own accord, and the blood travels as if alive. The entire symbol starts to glow, faintly, as the magic of blood starts to seep into the ground. The earth itself starts to moan, as if in fear of what I am about to unleash.
Now is the time. I begin the incantation.
"Answer now, the witch's call
Greatest demon of them all
Underneath these crimson skies
Goddess, Shinki, now arise!"
The light coming from the ground intensifies. It is a dark, almost black colour, and its reach extends upwards into the air. The blue sky fades, and for a moment the sky above me is the colour of blood. The engraving flashes, letting off an inhuman scream. It is painful, agonising.
But it will be worth it, I tell myself.
As my sight returns, I realise I am no longer alone in this clearing.
"...Hmm. So, this is the human world? It has been some time since I was last summoned here."
There is a woman standing in the midst of my magical circle. She is examining the trees around her, and she smiles at the grim atmosphere they give off. Her light-blue eyes seem too youthful, her white hair more akin to an angel than the demon she is supposed to be. Her dark red robes appear more fitting in that regard, though even then they are surprisingly unrevealing. The books said that demons revealed their sizable busts as clearly as possible, but this woman seems rather humble.
Immediately I run towards her with all the pace my body can muster. I pant a little, but do my best to hide it as I fall to my knees beneath her. I stumble on my words in my haste as she looks down on me in curiosity.
"G...Great goddess of Makai, I have called upon you as charted in the forbidden tomes to offer my servitude to-"
"My, you are awfully energetic for your age. You don't seem the type to hold so strongly to that formal tone of yours."
She is smiling. Why is she smiling? Demons are not supposed to smile so cheerfully. For a moment I fear that I have summoned the wrong spirit after all, a trickster at best.
She sees my concern, and if anything that seems to entertain her further. She places a hand on my cheek. I nearly flinch from its ice-cold touch. That sort of coldness could not possibly come from anything that lived. Her eyes, though, are gentle, looking down on me like a mother.
"I can see it, you know. Why you summoned me."
She smiles, too sweetly to be genuine. They say that the devil often emerges in the form of an ange, and I can believe it now.
"Death, is it not? Of course, it is a common fear among mortals, but within you it is especially strong. Strong enough that you were willing to resort to calling upon me, correct?"
I feel a lump rising in my throat. Not because I am terrified (though I cannot deny that) but because I am enawed. I manage to force out a nod.
"Y...Yes."
"So you would willingly throw yourself away? Offer everything you have to avoid your own inevitable end?"
The way she words it, it's almost as if she wants me to think it over. She should be savouring the soul I'm about to offer her, shouldn't she?
Or maybe she's just rubbing it in, because she knows I have no intention of taking it back. I nod again.
"...Yes, I would. I am weak, and I don't need to be told as much again."
Shinki moves her hand away, sighing. Her touch hangs on my cheek for a few moments as she closes her eyes in thought, pondering.
"Hm, how to go about this..."
This is not how Shinki is supposed to act. Not according to those who praise their gods, not according to the tomes, not according to anyone I had ever discussed it with. Even Myouren would not have expected such behaviour from the supposed goddess of Makai. Was she not an evil god, through and through?
She clicks her fingers, smiling in satisfaction.
"That should work nicely."
Her hand clenches into a fist, and I can see a light slipping out from beneath her fingers. She continues to smile, the spell requiring no effort on her part whatsoever. The light fades after a few seconds, and she opens her hand to reveal a beautiful violet butterfly.
"Swallow this. Don't worry, it's merely a manifestation of magic. It's not alive."
I ponder for an instant if this is a trap. Was it not more to the devil's liking to take the soul and then not offer her end of the deal? This seems almost too honourable from her.
The fear is gone soon after, though, when I realise what is at stake. This is what I have been yearning for, is it not? My eternal life, my chance to cheat death and save myself. If I doubt now, this chance may never come again.
Silencing my fears, I take the butterfly from Shinki's outstretched hand. It feels warm in comparison to the touch of its creator, fluttering its wings slightly as it moved into my grasp. It makes no attempt to flee as I move it towards my open mouth, ready to swallow it whole.
Go on, Shinki. Start laughing. You've tricked me somehow, haven't you? That's what you do. You're a demon. I'm going to eat this and my eternal soul will be yours somehow. Bask in your victory already, you're making me nervous.
Shinki does not respond to my silent pleas for a boast, still looking at me with the mildly interested eyes she had before. Perhaps she will leave it until after it is too late to turn back. No matter.
I swallow the butterfly in a single gulp, feeling it make its way down my throat.
?!
Pain. Pain pain pain pain pain. Everywhere, pain. Like fire. Can't stand. On my knees. Trying to throw up, but I can't. That colour. The violet. It's expanding. Getting better, going everywhere. It feels like I'm being torn inside out. Can't breathe. It hurts.
"I'm sorry, but if I had told you how painful it would be you would have been too afraid. Forgive me."
I hear her, but I'm not listening. I don't even have the power to choke out a groan. I'm crying, feeling my tears drip onto my burning hands. I can make out every vein, every wrinkle, every sign of age.
Can't I?
Wait. No. No, I can't.
It's...going backwards. My hands, they're...growing younger. More slender, more healthy. There's a power welling up in me, a power that the last twenty years had slowly taken from me. I can't see my face, but I can almost feel my skin brightening, my vision returning to its perfect 20/20.
Against everything, I smile. Not even because the pain is starting to fade. But because, in the end, it has all been worth it. I can feel the magic within me, holding time's advance at bay.
I am young again. And now I always will be.
"Hah...hah..."
I pant from exhaustion. Even with my newfound youth, my body still has its limits. My hands dig deep into the earth beneath me, damp from my own tears.
A hand reaches down to me.
"Here, let me help you up."
Shinki grins again. What am I supposed to say? Do I thank her? Or is she about to claim her end of the bargain? I decide not to ponder it and simply accept her help. I rise back to my feet, beaming.
"You are aware that no power comes for free. Fortunately, I have no need to ask for a cost from you - the magic is its own cost."
She speaks in riddles now? I tilt my head in confusion, leaving the goddess to sigh again.
"My magic may be strong, but there is only one thing that can dispel it. Put simply, if humans were to stop believing powers like this existed, their faith would be enough to make it fact."
Wait. No. I must not be understanding this right. That would be insane. Impossible, maybe.
"Wait...so if people stop believing in magic, I'll..."
She nods, her grin growing more solemn.
"Yes. You will become mortal again, and more than likely collapse into a pile of dust from age."
I feel a scream catch in my throat. At last, the catch kicks in. My stomach goes light.
"So...am I to spread your word? Offer sacrifices? Kill in your name?"
She winces, as if offended.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous! Nothing brutish like that. Besides, you seem more akin to work on another basis."
Shinki's eyes close, examining me closely. So this is how a caged animal feels.
"What do you know about youkai?"
The name rings a bell. It was the term for magical creatures in general, wasn't it? Shinki sees the understanding in my eyes, and continues accordingly.
"If youkai continue to exist, magic cannot truly fade away. So I would suggest you do what you can to protect the youkai of this world, dear."
Silence.
"...Is that it? Where's the catch?"
Shinki smiles again.
"What catch? Is it that much to ask you to do a good thing?"
This is not what I expected. I was prepared to perform any indecency, and yet Shinki was asking nothing of me. Not to say I'm not overjoyed, but
"Now, then, miss?"
"H-Hijiri. Byakuren Hijiri."
Her asking for my name? That seems like a-
"A-Ah!?"
Shinki had slipped to her knees and kissed my hand. I'm blushing visibly, and well aware of it. Apparently demons didn't really care about status that much.
Or maybe Shinki is more than a demon. Maybe she really is divine.
"I wish you the best of luck."
There is a shimmering light behind her, and to my surprise six magnificent wings emerge from her back. She jumps upwards into the air, her wings collapsing in around her.
"W-Wait! Why are you doing this!?"
One last question. That's all I want. She looks down, grinning, as the light from her back envelops her.
"Demons are youkai too, aren't they?"
The wings fold up around Shinki, surrounding her in a ball of pure light. The light starts to fade, until eventually all that remains of Shinki are the markings I had left on the ground to invoke her. Dried up blood hangs on the earth, its power drained.
I am alone again. But I am not the same person I was before. As long as the youkai survive, so will I.
I will lie, cheat and steal if necessary. My time as a monk has gained me trust, and now is the time to make the most of it. Claim to be a youkai hunter, but simply give the youkai a place to hide and survive. They keep me alive, I keep them out of harm's way. It's a win-win situation.
So, for my own sake, the youkai must not die.
---
As a warning, it looks like we're about to go into something resembling a Flashback Arc. DWI.
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Edge of my seat here. Aaah, Byakuren, how I both hate and admire you for what you've done...
I like your Shinki more than I like mine :( And like hell would I complain about a flashback arc. This is going to be so good, I just know it. :3
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ahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
YES! So worth the wait!
Just like Ruro says, your Shinki's awesome. But not only that, your Byakuren... oh my lord your Byakuren is simply amazing! The desperation in her being to defeat death is absolutely tangible; this is the Byakuren I've been waiting so long for!
If the rest of the flashback remains this good, I will almost wish you never go back to present.
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I giggled at Shinki. (She's actually a lot like my own version, actually, except, um, less goofy and hyper ...)
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Fuck YES this is epic.
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A wondrous description of the coming of power to become superhuman.
So if her followers are strong, so must she.
-
The air felt frigid as Byakuren's tale came to an end. I couldn't think of anything meaningful to say, and from the looks of it neither could anyone else.
Actually, that wasn't quite true. There were plenty of thoughts running through my mind right now, but all of them were either declarations of disgust or betrayal. She was the example I had looked towards once - an idol, an icon of worship and selflessness. Now it turned out that everything she had done was out of greed alone, out of fear of something that for the rest of us was inevitable.
Worst of all, she had violated samsara. The endless cycle of life and death. Without accepting the impermanence of life, enlightenment was impossible. In every possible meaning of the term, Byakuren was a false prophet.
I felt something gripping tightly at my hand. Nazrin's hand had clasped around mine, squeezing until I could barely feel my fingers.
"...I knew it."
Three small words, but each was packed to the brim with hatred.
"You tried to sell yourself as some self-sacrificing saint when you took me in. I wasn't meant to ask questions, I was just meant to keep my head down and prosper. I was grateful. Hell, I nearly trusted you at one point."
She let go of my hand and rose to her feet. I had never seen an emotion rise across her face so powerfully, but her anger was enough to even strike fear into my heart.
"And what happens? It turns out you're just some scared little bitch who can't deal with the fact that she isn't going to be young forever. I'd be fine with that, but giving me the whole holier-than-thou deal?"
Byakuren made no attempt to flee as Nazrin stomped towards her. Murasa and Ichirin kept their distance as well, though their pained faces suggested something along the lines of sympathy. Why, I wondered? Hadn't they been tricked in the same way Nazrin had?
For a moment, the two of them just stared at each other. Nazrin's eyes filled with disgust, while Byakuren looked back with a completely blank expression. Devoid of guilt or remorse.
The sound of a hand slapping fiercely into Byakuren's face echoed throughout the temple.
"Go to hell. Oh, wait, I forgot. You can't."
Nazrin turned on her heels and made for her own chamber. I considered stopping her, but right now having her anywhere near Byakuren was probably not the best idea.
"...Understandable."
The fallen monk muttered to herself as she rubbed at her cheek. Her pristine, perfect face was marred by an ugly red mark. Her face remained perfectly neutral, as if telling her tale had drained all the emotion out of her.
"And what about you, Shou? What do you think of me?"
She didn't seem to think she needed to ask. Maybe my face was giving away my feelings - anger at being lied to, being manipulated just so she could gain the faith of my fellow tigers. For all intents and purposes I should have pounced on her now and picked up where Nazrin had left off.
And yet I didn't.
"...You taught me better than that, Hijiri. If anything, I pity you and your sorry state."
Compassion. Karuna. Hatred was one of the three root poisons, the path away from enlightenment. It was easy to hate, and hard to forgive.
As I was now, I was strong enough to avoid one but not embrace the other.
"...Hm. You are a fine disciple, Shou. I can hardly call you my own pupil anymore, though, can I?"
Byakuren managed a weak smile as I rose to my own feet. I needed time to myself, maybe spend with Nazrin. This had been a long day, and right now I didn't think I could deal with anything else.
"There's...one more thing you need to know."
I jinxed it, didn't I?
"You see, Murasa and Ichirin didn't come to see me on a friendly visit. They came to warn me. I have something of a reputation with the human populace by now, and it isn't the friendly respectable one I had when I started. I've...been called a demon, and sometimes not even figuratively.
I thought this temple was small enough to offer me refuge, but they've found me. The local villagers are planning an attack on me, and they aren't alone. They've called on a specialist, a shrine maiden to seal me away because they know they can't kill me.
Her name is Misato Hakurei, and she's leading the charge. They'll be here at dawn, and they intend to burn this temple down to the ground."
---
Unsurprisingly, my plan of sleeping off today's events ended up going out of the window after that. I sat alone in my quarters on my bed, watching the stars and waiting as the night wore on. There were still several hours before dawn. Before the inevitable attack.
I intended to defend the temple, that was for sure. I would stop them from harming Vaisravana. But Byakuren? Her actions were meaningless thanks to her lack of genuine intent. It would be wrong for her not to face the consequences for her lies. She would get what she deserved, for her own sake.
Nazrin had locked herself away, and wouldn't answer to my calls or knocks. The only sound I could hear coming out of her room was the occasional choked sob. It made sense she didn't want anyone seeing her when she was like that, so I left her as she was. So, it seemed, I was alone until the sun made its appearance.
There was a light tap on the door.
"Toramaru-san? Sorry for intruding, but I'd like to talk to you."
Ichirin's voice was barely loud enough to make it through the door. I figured that some company would at least help me pass the time.
"Come in."
She nudged the door open, just far enough for her to slip inside. Unzan flowed through the hole with much more ease, and she closed the door behind him. There was a nervous frown on her face as she looked down at me. I imagine my face must have looked rather stern then, too caught up in the night's events to find the time for friendliness.
"I apologise for stepping in, but I want to talk to you about tomorrow. About Hijiri."
"I'd rather not. It's not a topic I want to think of any more than I have to right now."
It had taken all the resolve I had not to submit to my base desires and pummel Byakuren's face to a pulp. Bringing the subject up again could easily have convinced me to go back and finish the job, and right now I wanted to avoid that.
"Toramaru-san...I don't think you know the whole story. Hijiri doesn't give herself the credit she deserves, really."
"She said it herself, didn't she? There was no generosity behind what she did. She just wanted to stay alive."
I was being painfully blunt, but honestly I wanted to shut this discussion down as soon as possible. The more I sat and dwelled on what she did, the worse I would feel. I hoped that was enough to convince Ichirin that I had given up on listening to her.
Ichirin's hand gripping around my arm suggested otherwise.
"Please. I know this will be hard to believe, but...Hijiri doesn't give herself enough credit. Maybe she was looking out for herself in the beginning, but she really does have our best interests in mind. I think she's so convinced that she's a sinner that she won't even believe it herself. Just let me say my part, at the very least."
This sounded desperate. Maybe even slightly deluded. But Ichirin's face was perfectly calm, and she seemed totally convinced about what she was saying. From what I'd seen of her she seemed the more rational of the visiting pair. Her eyes, a dark shade of purple, spoke of a genuine concern.
Perhaps I could handle listening to another story tonight.
"...Alright. I'm assuming Hijiri led you towards her religion as well?"
Ichirin let go of my arm, sitting next to me on my bed. She took a deep breath before starting.
"No, Toramaru-san. I owe Hijiri more than simply giving me some moral epiphany. In short, I owe her my life."
---
Where am I? I don't know. All I can see right now are trees flying past.
I've been running for hours now. I can barely feel my legs, but I know that if I stop they'll come for me. Come, like they did for Mama and Papa. How long ago was that? Weeks, maybe months. After so long being alone time loses its hold over you.
Why do they do it, though? We haven't done anything wrong, have we? It's not like we were hurting the humans. We were just trying to get by. Why do they hate us so much?
I only hear one pair of footsteps following me. That means I have a better chance of losing him, but no matter which steps I take it feels like he's coming nearer all the time. I can't run any faster than I am now, and I'm tired...so tired...
No. I need to stay strong. Papa would be sad if he saw me give up like this. He'd scold me, saying something like 'Ichirin, aren't you a big girl now?'. Mama always got mad at him when he said things like that, saying he was putting too much pressure on me. She kissed me on the forehead and told me she loved me just the way I was.
I miss that feeling.
...I'm crying, aren't I? Not now, I tell myself. I'll run into a tree like this. I wipe my eyes, swerving around the trees to try and avoid my assailant.
I'm moving so fast now, and I have no idea how I haven't hit anything yet. It's hard to describe - it feels like there's a voice in my head telling me when to move left and right. I don't know where it's coming from, but it's been right so far so I'm willing to trust it. Maybe the bad man has a voice in his head too, because he's still keeping up.
I stop thinking. No time to think. Just run.
The trees give way, and my dash leads me into a grassy clearing in the middle of the forest. I definitely can't stay here, there isn't even anywhere for me to hide, I need to keep moving-
No. No, I can't. I don't have anything left. My legs are ready to snap, my chest is on fire, and I'm exhausted. I stumble for four, maybe five steps, until finally my knees buckle and I collapse onto the still warm grass. I'm panting, harder than I ever have before, trying to muster the strength to stand, but it's useless. I can hear the bad man's footsteps as he walks into the clearing.
"My, aren't you energetic for your age?"
Wait, it isn't a bad man. It's a bad woman. I turn my head around to look at her, but at this angle all I can see is her face. Her hair is strange - it starts brown but turns purple on the way up. A pair of light brown eyes are looking down at me, but she doesn't even seem winded. I didn't even know humans could run for so long.
But I don't care about any of that now. I need to get away.
"A...aah..."
I croak out a groan as I try to pull myself away from her. Her face is gentle, but if anything that makes her more frightening. Because I know what she's going to do to me.
"Don't worry, everything's going to be fine...just take my hand, little girl."
She's trying to play the loving mother card. Treating me like a kid, acting as if she wants to help me. She knows I'm scared and she wants to take advantage of me.
"H...haah..."
And in a lot of ways, she's right. I want someone to hold my hand right now. I want to dig my head in someone's chest and cry. I want Papa to pop out from behind this woman and tell me it's all a joke. I want Mama to wrap around me like a blanket and whisper a lullaby in my ear as I fall asleep.
But I'll never have any of those.
"Aah...aah...!"
My heart is racing, but my body still won't move. She comes closer as she realises I won't work with her. I can't get away.
I don't want to die. Not like this. Not lying in a grassy field at the mercy of some cruel, twisted human. But I can't do anything to stop her.
No, no, no, no, no no no no nonononodon'tcomeanycloserdon'thurtmeIdon'twanttodieIdon'twanttodieIdon'twanttodiiiiiie-
"AAAAAAAH!"
I scream.
And something answers.
I just make out the woman's face looking up, above me, before it hits her. It's huge, as large as I am, and it's shaped like a gigantic fist. It collides with the human's face at incredible speed, and it sends out a shockwave making patterns in the grass beneath me. Her body literally crumples from the impact, and I lose sight of her body as it slams into a tree somewhere behind me.
She's gone. She has to be gone. I'm safe.
The fist fades away as it finishes its duty. I can just about make out a voice at my side.
"...Fear not, child. I will not let them harm you. That was all the strength I had, though...allow me to rest alongside you, if you will."
The voice is kind and warm. Like Papa's, almost. I lie where I am for a few minutes and take deep breaths, letting the strength come back into my body. The first drops of rain fall onto my face, cooling me down. I feel something soft beneath my left hand, and I stroke it. It feels wonderful.
"Who...are you?"
I realise this must have been how Mama and Papa always felt. They always had someone to talk to, someone to confide in. They had their nyuudou.
This was mine.
"In my time among the living, I was known as Unzan. Call me that."
"Unzan...right. Pleased to meet you."
I don't know how I'm calm enough to greet him so casually. Maybe after everything all my emotions have boiled over. After the running, the hiding, the fighting, maybe I'm just out of feelings.
"That one hurt."
Or not. Fear is still there, definitely still there.
No. She can't be back. Not after what happened, not after what happened to her. But she's there, still standing over me, still wearing that smile of hers.
"It is good to see your nyuudou is so loyal. You're a strong girl."
How can she still smile? That must have hurt. It should have killed her, even. And still she smiles as if it's the most natural thing in the world to her. My mind can't process what's going on any more.
So it stops trying, and I pass out.
I can hear a voice in my ear as I lose consciousness. Gentle, friendly.
"Don't worry, dear. Everything is going to be okay."
The last thing I manage to think is that the voice doesn't belong to Unzan. Then, darkness.
-
Dammit Rou. Why are you so good at character's back-stories?
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This issss eeeeeepic
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This.
Amazing.
And to think that I stumbled upon it only after I gave up on finding good UFO fanfic in favor of just finding a place where I could gush to people about my love for UFO in general and Byakuren in particular. I was already fascinated by the fic when the initial chapters led me to believe that the story would focus squarely on Shou, and now that the latest chapters appear to be delving deeper and deeper into what is undoubtedly my favorite aspect of UFO, namely Byakuren's backstory, the fic has become nothing short of irresistible to me. I especially love the meeting with Shinki and its implications for Byakuren's time in Makai (if you ever plan to go that far with the fic), as well as the portrayal of Byakuren's relationship with Shou immediately prior to the former's capture and imprisonment, because I can already guess how that might offer an alternative explanation for Shou's lack of action during that event. Granted, I have no idea whether or not you intend to have Ichirin (or Murasa, or anyone else for that matter) sway Shou (and/or Nazrin) into forgiving Byakuren, but either way, your setup of the situation seems to imply that Shou's inaction during Byakuren's capture (assuming you plan for that part to follow canon) won't simply be due to the given canon explanation, i.e. work-induced absence.
Random pointless completely ignorable nitpick: The fic seems to imply that Byakuren has already been alive for at least a few centuries, but assuming the canonical Gensokyo timeline, which largely coincides with and sometimes even depends on the "real world" timeline, Byakuren could not have lived for much more than one century between the time of Myouren's death and her sealing, since Myouren lived around the early 900s AD (during the reign of Emperor Daigo, who was a living character in the Shigisan Engi) and Byakuren said in UFO that she hadn't been able to help the youkai for over 1000 years, which we can assume is how long she was sealed. Since the coincidence of Gensokyo and real world time means UFO took place in early 2000 AD, over 1000 years before that would be ~1000 AD, no more than a century after the events of the Shigisan Engi.
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Kakkesu: Glad to hear I've managed to sate your hunger. Apologies for the slipup in the timeline - I'd been using the articles from the Touhou Wiki as a guide for the most part, along with some of my education on Buddhism itself, and I guess I wasn't being thorough enough and didn't realise I had a smaller interval to work with than I'd thought. Hopefully you won't mind if I make a mistake with the canon here or there - after all, Dan Brown was a massive author for a while, and he basically made facts up as he went along. :V
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Random pointless completely ignorable nitpick: The fic seems to imply that Byakuren has already been alive for at least a few centuries, but assuming the canonical Gensokyo timeline, which largely coincides with and sometimes even depends on the "real world" timeline, Byakuren could not have lived for much more than one century between the time of Myouren's death and her sealing, since Myouren lived around the early 900s AD (during the reign of Emperor Daigo, who was a living character in the Shigisan Engi) and Byakuren said in UFO that she hadn't been able to help the youkai for over 1000 years, which we can assume is how long she was sealed. Since the coincidence of Gensokyo and real world time means UFO took place in early 2000 AD, over 1000 years before that would be ~1000 AD, no more than a century after the events of the Shigisan Engi.
Wow, someone does their research! Very nice. I applaud you for your knowledge, but must remind you of the MST3K Mantra; It's just a story, don't worry about it.
Consider that your little one-up on Rou - you're more informed than he is! Now you can sit back and grin to yourself as you read this~
But the point is to read it and be entertained. Never forget that.
/thumbsup
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@ Roukanken: No worries! There's a reason I put the nitpick in tinyfont and called it "completely ignorable" - one little bit of missed math does absolutely nothing to compromise the amazing quality of the fic. In all honesty I probably could've kept that note to myself; I was just so excited to see someone giving so much attention to Byakuren's backstory that I couldn't suppress the urge to share.
@ Internet Carebear: I absolulety agree with your sentiments, which is, again, why I think maybe I should've just left out that "nitpick." And tbh if it weren't for the fact that I'm toying with the idea of writing my own Byakuren fic with as much basis in UFO and Shigisan Engi as possible, I would not have bothered to do any research. In fact, I half-regret doing the research because I discovered, among other things, that Myouren's sister was already an old lady by the time she set out to find him, which completely overturns my original conceptualization of them spending most of their adult lives together (a conceptualization shared by all but one of the fanworks I've seen so far depicting Byakuren's life with Myouren). As for why the overturning of this conceptualization caused me regret, well... I rather enjoy the idea of Byakuren having a brother complex and possibly also acting on it while neither of them are old/wrinkly enough for it to become Lemonparty-level nightmare fuel why yes I do find the concept of sibling physical intimacy appealing yet the concept of old people physical intimacy gross i swear there can be no accounting for taste.
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that I couldn't suppress the urge to share.
There is nothing wrong with that.
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Oh damn, it's been longer than I thought. Sorry for the wait - had trouble coming up with inspiration for this segment. -_-
-----
I wake up feeling strangely comfortable.
For a moment, I simply stare up at the rocky ceiling of what I assume must be a cave in the mountains. There's a blanket hanging over me, as I can make out the crackling sounds of a nearby fire. And finally, I can feel something holding my head off the ground, giving it somewhere to lie.
A voice rises up from below.
"You have awakened, child."
Unzan's voice is concerned, as I expected. My family, the Kumoi, were renowned among the youkai of the land for our ability to communicate and work alongside nyuudou spirits. It was passed in the blood, from parent to child, and no magician has ever managed to copy the ability and use it themselves. Mama and Papa would tell me stories about how our family had once been among the highest in the realm, said to rule over the clouds themselves.
But the one foe we had not been prepared for, they had told me, was man. Men were intelligent, and more importantly they were numerous. It didn't matter how strong a Kumoi or his nyuudou was - he would still be slain if he was overwhelmed by the enemy. So we simply lost a battle of attrition, and were reduced to our current size, where we could barely keep the bloodline running.
Maybe everything I went through was just a dream. A rite of passage or something like that, concocted by my brain in order to explain where Unzan had come from. I like the idea. It makes sense, in a strange twisted sort of way.
Unfortunately, the woman who stands over me shortly afterwards is enough proof that such a fortunate turn of events was completely impossible.
"Good evening, dear. I was worried for a while that you might never wake up."
It's the hunter, the woman who had been chasing me this whole time. Immediately I startle, trying to get to my feet and make my way out. My body responds - or rather it doesn't, and I suddenly become aware of how much my attempted escape has tired me out. There's a cold moment of horror when I realise I'm entirely at the mercy of this human.
Wait...is she even human? I saw Unzan send her flying into a tree earlier. No human could survive that, and yet here she is without so much as a broken bone. I'm honestly losing track of what's real and what's a dream now.
My stomach rumbles beneath the covers. I suddenly remember that I haven't eaten all day, and probably not the day before that either.
Okay, I'm sure of one thing now, and that's that I'm starving.
The hunter smirks.
"Oh, how could I forget? Growing girls like you need to eat. Give me a little while to cook something up for you!"
She runs into some corner of the cave with who knows what ingredients. I'm still too tired to follow, and for a few minutes I only have Unzan for company.
"...Can we trust her?"
I murmur to Unzan so that I can't be overheard. Unzan responds in the same quiet voice he always uses, convincing me that no-one else will ever be able to make him out.
"I would say we are in no state to refuse her. Be cautious, though - provoking her will do you no favours."
I nod, grimacing at the thought of what this woman was going to do. Maybe the point is that I was the one who's going to be eaten, and she's brought me here to be cooked or something. That makes sense, that'd make her a witch, and maybe she wants to take in my power or something weird like that and-
"Here you go~!"
She reemerges with a bowl just before I descend into outright paranoia. She lays it by my head, and with some effort I manage to sit up and pick up the bowl. Its contents are about as unappetising as food gets - grey and rough, with a few lumps here and there for good measure. The woman looks down on me eagerly, waiting for me to take the first bite.
"Go on, help yourself. You've had a rough time - I think you deserve a free dinner."
This is a trap. It has to be. I'll take one bite and fall asleep again, and then she'll throw me into a cauldron and start stirring me in some sort of broth all while speaking in rhymes. But my stomach still calls out to be tended to, its growls louder than Unzan (which admittedly isn't saying that much) and she's staring eagerly at my face before I start at dinner. She might do something painful to me if I refuse it, so I may as well just take my chances-!
"...Hm?"
Weird. I've never tasted something so...tasteless before. No poisonous aftertaste, no sudden weariness, no urge to be violently ill. Apparently it's just plain food - very, very plain food.
I quickly start munching down on it more out of necessity than anything else. The woman is smiling cheerfully as I eat a proper meal for the first time in days. There's something strange about that smile - it's not what I expected, it doesn't have that slight hint of being overblown that it should have, given that I'm her prisoner. It scares me.
"Ah, where are my manners? All this and I haven't even introduced myself. Byakuren Hijiri, pleased to make your acquaintance."
I stop eating for a moment as I hear the name.
She moves in front of me and leans down, offering a hand to shake. Initially she just assumes I'm too busy with my, uh, whatever this stuff is to notice, but as I put the bowl down I make a deliberate point of not responding.
"...Stay away."
She steps back, her eyes full of shock. Whether it's her surprised that her ploy hasn't fooled me or upset that I still don't trust her after she fed me, I can't tell.
"Ah. So it seems you still don't trust me."
Of course I don't. A rumour had been going round about a Byakuren Hijiri who had moved into the area. Actually, it was a warning more than a rumour - from what we had heard she was a travelling monk turned youkai exterminator, and anyone she was paid to take care of was never heard from again, without fail. Youkai of all kinds had fallen fighting her - there were even rumours that one of the mighty oni had vanished after she had been ordered to take him out.
And now she had come for me.
"W-What do you want?! I'm not hurting anyone! Mama and Papa didn't do anything wrong!"
I'm scared. Of course I'm scared. But what can I do, really? I've seen how strong she is myself. I don't have any way of defending myself, so the last thing I want is an answer. An explanation.
I have no time to be scared. So I need to be angry.
"The local villagers are afraid of you, Miss...Kumoi, correct? That's the name I was told, anyway. Your clan's powers over the nyuudou was a threat to the safety of the village, hence their earlier attack on your people. When they found out about a potential survivor, they called me in to finish the job."
Every word comes out with a tone that basically screams 'this is common knowledge, you should know this already'. All that does is make me angrier, because she hasn't really answered the question. By now I've gone past fear, if only because fear can't do anything for me right now.
"Y-You're not listening! Why are we a threat? For being what we've always been? My Mama and Papa never hurt anyone, and we never got to choose being born as what we are!"
"You are youkai. Humanity will always consider you dangerous for your power."
She comes closer to me, leaning down again. She looks into my eyes, and I see nothing in hers - no emotion of anger, hatred or remorse. It's terrifying hearing her say these words and look so much like she means them.
"Y-You can't seriously think that! It isn't fair!"
I'm ready for her to kill me right now. I can't stand this woman, so eager to kill something which doesn't want to hurt her, like all the humans. How can one race be so unspeakably cruel, genociding anything it sees as remotely dangerous?
"...Child, you should not provoke her-"
"Quiet!"
Unzan is almost literally blown away as I snap at him. HIs voice trails off into the distance. I know full well pissing off the woman who could probably punch my head clean off my neck is a bad idea, thank you very much. But if the only alternative is sitting here and listening to her spout more of this egotistical crap, I don't think I really care.
"Hm...it is unfair, isn't it?"
She almost dramatically ponders the point for a second as I lift myself, trembling, to my feet. I'll punch her, beat her down until my arms snap clean off, anything. I'm not going down without a fight-
!!!
She moves in, her arms opening wide. My body fails when I need it the most, and I'm too slow to stop her from making her move.
A warm, delicate hug.
"...Huh?"
She supports me as my knees give way from overexertion, her arms holding me fondly. Deliberately making sure I don't get hurt.
She whispers as she pulls her head next to my ear. I recognise it as the one that I heard before I passed out earlier, still as gentle and accepting as it was before.
"And that's why I won't let it happen."
I'm stunned, for the lack of another word. I give up resisting and just let her hold me for a few moments, and she gives me that same honest smile as she pulls her head back.
"I said that I was ordered to kill you. Where did I say I had decided to obey that order?"
-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww~
I cant find any other words to describe this segment
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I want Byakuren to give me a hug too ;_;
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I want to give Byakuren a hug. :3
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I want to give Ichirin a hug.
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That too!
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Hugs for everyone!
No Love for Unzan D=
*hugs Unzan
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FFFFFFFF I'm such a sucker for motherly!protective!Byakuren. Major props for the update! <3
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Curse you, kakkesu, for making me think there was an update! ;)
Also, Hax Sign "Hug Everything"
-
I still see them in my dreams.
All I ever see is a road, and Mama and Papa are walking along in front of me. I can't make out what they're saying, but from the way they're holding each other's hands they clearly enjoy each other's company. A pair of wisps, their own nyuudou, float by their sides, occasionally rubbing up next to each other.
And now matter how much I run, I can't catch up to them.
Their voices get less and less distinct, until I can't even hear them any more. They walk off, into the horizon, never to be seen again.
Leaving me alone.
"Wait! Please, don't go!"
I scream. It's the only other thing I can think of that would help. But if I can't hear them, of course they can't hear me. They keep walking on, ignoring me completely. I push myself harder, running faster still, but if anything that just makes them fall further away.
They're dots in the distance now, and soon they won't even be that. They'll be gone forever. No more smiling faces, or comforting hugs, or bedtime stories. Nothing.
No.
No.
"No!"
I jolt awake again. The dream isn't new to me, I've been having it ever since they passed away. But every time it just feels so real, so genuine, that I find it hard to believe I'm simply imagining it.
The first few times, it was unbearable. I would simply curl up into a ball and weep to myself until noon, lying in the shelter we used to call home. The loneliness was almost enough to crush me.
"It is alright, child. Relax, take deep breaths."
A familiar voice rises to my ear. Immediately the fear of the dream starts to fade, and I start following Unzan's advice. My head clears, my heart stops pounding, I fight away the urge to crumple up and cry again.
"Another early morning? My, Ichirin, you're such a punctual girl, aren't you?"
Byakuren enters as well, almost on cue, carrying another bowl of her trademark Bland Grey Goop. I don't see her as 'that woman' or 'the hunter' anymore - after all the grace and help she's offered me, it seems unruly to still hold a grudge.
"Then again, you were rolling around a little. Hopefully some good breakfast will perk you right up before we go on our big trek today!"
She places the bowl next to me, and in those cheerful hazel eyes I can make out the faintest hint of understanding. She's well aware of what happened to me, and she's doing what she can to help me through these tough times.
And, well, who am I to stay so upset when there are people around me who are so concerned for me?
"Ah...thank you, both of you..."
In my dreams, I'm afraid of being abandonded. Being left alone in the world, with no-one to guide me or confide in. But really, I have nothing to be afraid of, now that I have Unzan and Byakuren.
They're not exactly a family, but they'll do.
---
"Alright, Ichirin. This is it."
The walk through the forest took the pair of us a couple of hours. For a while, I started feeling jealous of Unzan for getting a free ride beneath this cloak Byakuren had me wear, but it's not as if he does much in terms of walking anyway. I quite like the headdress that Byakuren gave me to cover my face, actually. Maybe I'll wear it more often after we make it through this.
Well, if we make it through this.
This entire area in the mountains has apparently been claimed by the human village here. I don't have anywhere to run or hide, and the village is built into the mountain pass that's the only way out. Clearly it was a deliberate choice of location - blocking the Kumoi clan inside and making sure that we couldn't go anywhere without them knowing. It worked.
I wasn't completely surprised when Byakuren told me that I was the last of the clan. I remember at some point Mama and Papa just stopped talking about uncles and aunts and cousins. I never thought about it at the time, but it made more sense now than it ever would have before. I cried, of course, but Unzan and Byakuren were there to help me through.
And now I'm going to spite the humans who took my family away by slipping through their net.
"Remember the story. I found you stranded in the forest, starving, so I'm bringing you here to see if I can get in contact with your parents. Understand?"
I nod. It's not exactly a complicated story, or even a believable one, but it's all we have. I only need them to believe it for a few minutes, and by then I'll have already made my escape. If it goes wrong - well, that's not worth thinking about right now.
We give each other one last nod of confirmation as we approach the gate. A young man is standing guard, wielding a makeshift spear that looks like it couldn't cut wheat. His eyes immediately turn to her with awe and respect.
"Ah, Hijiri-sama! It's good to see that you've returned in one piece. Did your hunt go well?"
Byakuren looks at the man with a smile that seems honestly genuine. It frightens me a little seeing how she can feign happiness with such ease.
"You won't have to worry about the last of the Kumoi anymore. But besides that, there is another matter I must attend to."
Her hand reaches to my shoulder, holding me tightly. Even if it's just an act, her hand still feels warm even now.
"This young girl was lost in the woods. She was on the brink of death when I found her, but I've nursed her back to health now. Are there any missing children right now?"
The guard's emotion is gleeful as he hears of my apparent death. I feel bile rising in my throat at the thought of it.
"Ah, great news! As for the kid, can't say anyone's missing off the top of my head, but you'd need to see the elder to be sure."
"I see. Thank you, sir."
Byakuren bows to the guard, nudging me slightly on the shoulder to follow suit. I bend my neck downward slightly, though beneath everything I'm wearing it's probably hard to tell. Then Byakuren pulls me away further into the village.
I keep my head down as we walk onward. The humans are going about their daily lives, muttering about the little annoyances as they make their livings. I overhear a few of their conversations, and immediately wish I hadn't.
"Hey, you hear about Motaro? He's still bragging about that one youkai he killed last week."
"What, again? He conveniently seems to forget that there were a dozen men helping him when he took out that Kumoi thug."
"Eh, in the end it doesn't matter that much. A dead Kumoi's a benefit for all of us. Let the kid have his day."
Beneath the cloak, my hands are clenched as tightly as I can manage. It takes all the self control I have not to order Unzan to beat one of those housewives to a pulp. All that would do is grab the attention of the whole village, and then not even Byakuren would be able to save me.
After a few minutes walking, we come up to the elder's residence. It's only slightly larger than the other homes here, but it's enough to show his status. Byakuren leads me inside, and convinces the locals present to grant her an audience.
This is all part of the plan we set up before we entered. The next step is the dangerous part.
As the two of us enter the building proper, the eyes of the village elder fall on us. He is a scrawny man, with an unkempt beard and a tired face. As he turns to Byakuren he seems more relieved than anything else.
"Ah, Hijiri-san. Welcome back. I take it your hunt was successful?"
Hijiri bows to the elder, letting go of my hand as she does so. She once again wears a smile that is sincere, but not authentic.
"I've taken care of your youkai problem. The Kumoi clan will never be a trouble to your people again."
The man smiles, his teeth a faint shade of yellow. His relief is visible as he leans further back into his chair.
"Oh, so it is done? To be honest, the idea of attacking the youkai had never been mine - they had done us no harm, so it seemed only fair to let them be. But this is a grudge that has continued for generations - my father fought the Kumoi, as did his father before him. Such a shame that all this bloodshed is for no real reason."
For a moment, Byakuren almost agrees with him, but she catches herself before she can start.
"A good ruler bows to his people, does he not? If you hadn't ordered it, the villagers would probably have attacked by themselves anyway, and with no proper organisation there would be terrible losses."
"True, true. I suppose you would know this better than any of us, Hijiri-san."
Despite his apparent opposition to the deaths of the Kumoi, the elder discusses the matter with a cheerful smile. She has pleased him, she has passed his test.
A trap. Like she had expected. If she'd agreed he would no doubt have called her a sympathiser, and that would be it. Were there no humans on this earth who had the decency to give youkai the time of day?
"Well, one more thing I'd like to ask. Who was that child who came in with you?"
"Ah, this is-"
She notices something strange in his choice of words.
"Wait. 'Was'?"
Byakuren looks to her side, expecting me to be waiting patiently for her to finish her conversation before leading me out of the village.
Except I'd made a break for the exit the first chance I saw. Patience is not something most children possess.
---
"Who's that?"
"That kid's gonna trip if she keeps running at that pace."
"Is anyone even running after her...?"
They're focusing on me, but I'm lucky in that I don't really have the build of a warrior. If I were some seven-foot tall man with biceps bigger than my head, maybe they'd catch on to the fact that I'm a youkai, but for once my lack of physical strength is actually a plus.
There's a good twenty metres between the last of the houses and the gate, and by now everyone's lost interest in the little girl running for her life. There's only one guard between me and the exit, and he's about as poorly equipped as soldiers get.
For a moment, I think it'll just be as easy as running past him out into the wild. A hand grasping me at the shoulder tells me otherwise.
"Hold it right there, kid. You shouldn't be headin' outta town without someone to look after ya."
I struggle weakly against the man's grip, but it's no use. The Kumoi aren't a strong clan of youkai by themselves, so we rely on our nyuudou if we ever end up in a fight.
"C'mon, who are ya, anyway? Lemme take you home to your mommy."
He reaches out with his other hand, and starts pulling at the headdress. This is bad - if he sees that I'm not from the village, I could be in big trouble. I start pulling away harder from his grip, prepared to make a run for it.
All my attempted escape achieves is getting the cloak pulled off my shoulder. The guard holds it dumbly in his hand for a moment before turning to me.
"What the hell are you doi-"
Then he notices the light pink wisp trying desperately to use me as cover.
His face wrenches in the most horrible manner.
"You...you're that Kumoi bitch!"
A look of hatred rises to his face immediately, and he unsheathes the sword at his side. It's barely sharp enough to cut through butter, but he swings it with enough ferocity to be a threat regardless. I don't even have time to react. It catches me in the side of the head, and I can hear a painful crack.
That's when things go to hell.
I've never been very brave. I was always the sort of child who would run away or feel bad when someone called me names, or just put on a brave face and took it. But I've never been hurt this badly before, and my body responds by pushing itself to its limit.
And this is a human. On top of that, one of the humans that killed my clan. And Unzan could tear him apart without trying. The question of fight-or-flight isn't a question at all.
"UNZAN!"
I will him on mentally as I scream, clinging to the wound on my head. It feels warm and sticky. It hurts. My head is spinning.
I hear the guard shout out again. It's a guttural cry, devoid of reason. I can barely see right now with my head still ringing from the pain, but I hear Unzan moving in. The blade shatters, falling to a dozen useless pieces on the ground.
His battle cry catches in his throat.
"Ah-"
His courage leaves him as Unzan proves that he's no match for the power of the nyuudou. By now the pain has receded enough to let me see clearly. Good. I want to see the fear in his eyes.
He's dropped to his knees, trembling in fear. Crying. It's pathetic, pitiful, embarrassing.
It feels fantastic.
Mama. Papa. This is for you.
I raise my hand upward, goading Unzan to prepare for the big finish. I think he's talking to me. Something about telling me to stop. I don't care. He's my servant, and he'll obey my commands, dammit. The human is quivering slightly. Trying to beg for forgiveness, but the words are falling apart in his mouth. The pain and the anger tell me to laugh at him, so I do. It feels wonderful.
Now to end it. I prepare to click my fingers to order the killing blow.
Another hand clutches around mine, holding it in place.
"That's enough, youkai. You'll harm no humans on my watch."
Byakuren's voice is intense, and filled with anger. I snap back into reality. The pain fades, the rage fades, and I realise what I nearly did.
Byakuren's hand colliding with the back of my head puts an end to that, though. Along with every other conscious thought running through my mind.
What have I done...?
---
I don't wake up quite as comfortably this time.
"Ow..."
I rub at my head, feeling a bandage running around it. Looking up, I see I've been kept beneath a tree during my short time being unconscious. It's not a local tree - at least, not one I recognise from the forests I've known.
Which means...I'm outside.
"You're quite the troublemaker, aren't you? Had to convince the guard you were dead as I pulled you out."
Byakuren is sitting next to me, using the tree to keep herself in the shade. The sun is setting in the distance, turning the sky a beautiful shade of orange.
I pull myself up slightly, looking at Byakuren's face. She looks serious, severe, and as she sees me get up she turns her attention to me.
"Do you realise what could have happened? You told me earlier that your clan did nothing to upset the humans, but you nearly killed a man. And you were enjoying it, Ichirin."
Her words are painful, each one stabbing into me like a knife. Especially because I agree with every single one.
"I...I'm sorry..."
It's all I can think of to say. I don't know what I was thinking - after he hit me all my higher thought just fell out the window, and killing him was all that came to mind.
Unzan is floating a little further away from me than usual, silently displaying his disapproval. The bond between Kumoi and nyuudou is strong, typically, but the nyuudou is not simply a toy. It has opinions, beliefs, and occasionally objections. The last of these is what I ignored entirely while I let my bloodlust control me.
"Unzan...I shouldn't have acted like that. I used you against your will. Forgive me.
He stays silent, but his head nods slightly in recognition. It's all I can ask for right now - the rest will come in time.
Byakuren sighs.
"It's a shame, really. I had been wondering if you were old enough to fend for yourself, but it looks like I'll have to keep you under my wing a while longer."
She grins.
"That isn't a problem with you, is it?"
I don't know what answer she expects from me with that question. I respond honestly regardless.
"Actually, I was about to ask if I could travel alongside you for a while."
Her eyes widen. That definitely wasn't what she thought I would say.
"You're travelling around and trying to help youkai, aren't you? I...I don't want anyone else to lose their Mama and Papa like I did, so I want to help."
Byakuren is quiet for a moment. I don't think I've ever seen her so outright stunned before. But eventually, her shock gives way to a smile.
"You really are a good child deep down, aren't you? I'm sure your parents would be proud of you."
She knows the right words to cheer me up, doesn't she? I think I'm crying already.
"Yeah...I hope so."
-
Unzan gains more rep beyond just 'Brofist cloud'.
*sagenod*
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I am so loving this, you have one more fan, one more person
a wanting moar updates :V
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The sound of a hand slapping fiercely into Byakuren's face echoed throughout the temple.
"Go to hell. Oh, wait, I forgot. You can't."
Harsh Nazrin...harsh...
I've been reading this fic for a while but I don't remember posting in it. I love it. It makes me fall in love with UFO even more^^
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"And, well, I held to my word. I've been helping Hijiri out with her goals ever since."
Ichirin looked off into the distance nostalgically, remembering times long since past. Unzan seemed to be nodding beside her, though if he had anything to say I couldn't make it out myself.
"See, Toramaru-san? It would've been easy for Hijiri to just let me kill the guard. It'd be less explanation for her, at the very least, and I'd get away regardless. But still, she went out of her way to save that man's life. Surely that's enough to convince she isn't the soulless monster she thinks she is...?"
Honestly, I didn't know how to reply. All I could offer was a conflicted glance in return. Maybe she hadn't managed to convince me entirely, but she'd done more than enough to make me question my stance.
Dammit. Am I really considering helping someone who's gone so far as to break samsara itself?
Abruptly, I stood up from my spot on the bed.
"I'm going for a walk. I need to think this over."
Ichirin startled, but she nodded soon after. She offered me an earnest smile as I made my way out the door.
"Thank you, Toramaru-san. I may not share your teachings, but I hope your deity smiles on you."
I sighed at that. It was quiet now, to the point where Ichirin probably hadn't noticed it.
But I could still make out Nazrin's quiet sniffles as she tried to put on a brave face again.
"May Vaisravana watch over us all."
---
The cool night air greeted me as I stepped out of the temple. I stifled a yawn, suddenly remembering how late in the night it was. In a few hours, this army of humans led by their shrine maiden would come to take Byakuren away. The question was this: did I want to offer my aid to her knowing what she had done?
The sight of an overgrown ship still parked next to the temple was still enough to surprise me. With nothing else to do, I figured I may as well take another look inside. Once again the empty, endless chambers of what they had called the Palanquin welcomed me, still as featureless as I remembered it being.
After a few minutes of walking, I soon realised I'd lost track of the way out. I vaguely remembered that Nazrin had been in charge of that last time. I bit my lip as I made my way back to what I assumed was the front of the ship, to Murasa's quarters. She'd be able to lead me back out, at least.
Again, the door was hard to miss - but more than likely, that was the point given that her name had been written in the largest font that would fit. I couldn't make out the captain of the ship blabbing to herself, so I assumed she wasn't around for some reason. No harm in stepping in and sitting down, though. It wasn't like there was anything the great captain would want to hide, was there?
Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed as I looked around. Apparently this wasn't her sleeping quarters, if she even needed one as a ghost. There was nothing to see beyond the steering wheel and the various items Murasa had thrown around the floor. There were maps of oceans I had never seen, currencies from countries I'd never visited, and books in languages I'd never read. For a few minutes, I took a few short laps around the room waiting for her to come back.
Well, what's the harm in doing a little light reading?
I picked up one of the books at random, flicking it open to pass the time. I was a little surprised to see it was in my language, and from what I could make out of the first few excerpts it was some sort of journal...
---
Well, it finally happened! I've been enrolled in the Navy starting tomorrow! Can you believe it?! All those years of training have finally paid off!
I could make out the faces of the other cadets as the Admiral gave me my uniform. They were the guys who'd be leaving me 'love letters' and doing whatever they could to get me to quit. Goddamn bottom-feeders.
But that doesn't matter, I need to start packing! It's all so dreamy, and even if I've only just been enlisted I know it's gonna get bigger from here. That's right, Diary, give it a few years and those losers will all be kissing the boots of Captain Minamitsu!
---
"Not very good with this whole privacy thing, are ya? I may be a captain, but I'm still a woman, and last I checked women didn't approve of people peeking in their diaries."
Busted. I closed the book with a slam as Murasa made her way back into the room, her arms folded and her eyes unimpressed. She tilted her sailor cap down slightly for effect.
"It wasn't titled like that door of yours. I didn't realise what I was reading until it was too late."
Murasa walked over to me, placing herself right at my side. It was hard to believe that only yesterday the two of us had been fighting to the death (at least in my case). She grimaced for a moment, thinking over a difficult choice, before finally shrugging.
"Well, you've figured me out. You started reading, so you may as well finish."
Now this was unusual. I tilted my head for a moment, waiting for her to explain that it was sarcastic, but no such comment came.
"O-Okay, sure."
My eyes looked over to Murasa as I opened the diary again, watching to see her expression turn aggressive so I could dodge the inevitable slap to the back of my forehead. Her expression remained empty, though, almost vacant. It scared me slightly, so I turned my attention back to the book.
---
Okay, I'm onboard. Apparently they made some changes just for me - the Navy hasn't seen a female recruit in years. Honestly, it's more or less a taboo - I only got in because I know my way around these ships a thousand times better than any of these wannabes around here. That, and Dad put in a good word for me. But whatever, I could have made it fine without him.
They're talking about me, obviously. There have been a couple of glares that I'd really just want to forget. There was something in those eyes that made the hair on my neck stand on end - a desire that they weren't normally able to fulfill at sea. I...I think I feel a little ill thinking about it, actually. Maybe I'll just skip dinner tonight.
...
We're out at sea for real now. Most newcomers would probably be crapping their pants right now, but that's just because they're not captain material. Got my first duties today, and finished them well ahead of schedule. Those lustful eyes are jealous ones now. It feels good to be getting some respect around here for a change. The captain was even nice enough to compliment me on my hard work.
Gotta impress the higher-ups now while I can. I'll be taking over for the old man soon enough.
...
Okay, this is bullshit.
I come back from cleaning the decks, and it's just like back at training all over again. Apparently these guys find drawings of their dicks and 'witty' poems about how useless women are the funniest things in the world.
I brought it up with the captain, but he gave me some crap along the lines of how he couldn't prove who did it. I know this writing, though - it's that jerk Makoto and his little gang of losers. I swear, as soon as I get promoted I'm going to 'accidentally' forget to give them their rations for a week.
...
I tripped up in the mess hall today. I can still hear the laughter ringing in my ears, and I'm sure I could make out the captain among it all. Damn that Makoto and his 'accidentally leaving his foot out' crap. What exactly do these assholes have against me? They're all out to get me because...what? I have boobs and they don't?
Well, that's not entirely true. The captain's getting on a little, and I have to say that he's definitely let his weight slip. Ehehe, even if I can't say this sort of crap out loud it feels good to at least badmouth them somewhere.
...
I don't know how much more of this I can take. The men have all decided to call me Minamitsu-chan from now on. Genius, I know. But everyone does it, even the captain says it casually as if it's just a joke. What happened to that idea of respect and trust they spent so long ramming into our heads back at the academy?
It's just so unfair, dammit. This is what I've wanted to do for years. Dad was right up there in the ranks in his day, but apparently being his daughter just gets the entire crew in the mood to make my life hell.
I'm not giving up, though. I'll do whatever I need to, but in the end these people will give me the respect I deserve. I will be a captain, even if it kills me.
...
At last, I've got a chance to get somewhere with these people!
Makoto ended up paying me a visit, and he apologised for all the crap he's pulled so far. He said that he's finally accepting that I really DO know what I'm doing, and he's willing to let everything drop if I can prove myself in one little dare. All I've got to do is hold onto the spare anchor hanging onto the side of the ship for ten minutes without letting go.
I accepted, of course. Yeah, if I fall off the ship I'm probably gonna get soaked before they pull me back on, and they'll have plenty of reason to laugh at me again. But they didn't say I wasn't allowed to prepare myself. A good strong rope should let me hang onto the anchor for as long as I want, shouldn't it?
Gotta go, diary - Makoto and company are expecting me. Time to show them what the daughter of Admiral Minamitsu is really made of!
---
The next page was blank. I started flicking through them quickly, but every page that followed was empty. The entries just came to an abrupt halt after that.
"I don't think I need to tell ya what happened that night, tiger."
She said that, but I could hear her voice trembling slightly. Of course this was going to be a hard subject for her to discuss, but the fact that she'd shown me this in the first place meant she wanted me to know. I took a deep breath as I put the book down, placing my hand on Murasa's shoulder. I was as uncomfortable about the subject as she was, but I had already heard more than my fair share of stories tonight. It would be unfair to disregard her alone.
Murasa could make out the determination in my eyes. A few tears started to well up in hers, but she fought the urge and kept a straight face. It wasn't a captain's job to cry, after all.
"Tell me anyway, Captain...tell me about how you died."
---
"Seven minutes. You're doing good, Minamitsu-chan~."
God, I hate this guy. Makoto looks down at me with that snide smile of his. I can tell he's from some rich family who kicked him into the Navy because he was a shitty kid. He must enjoy looking down on me from up on deck.
Still, I'm pretty sure he can't see the ropes from here. I was careful, tying it around one wrist but making it as firm as I could to make sure it'd hold. This is gonna be a piece of cake, I know it.
They start murmuring something above me. I can't make it out from down here, but there are a few giggles getting passed between all those manly men. No wonder they spend all day swabbing decks if that's how they act.
The boat bounces on the waves, and I get more than my fair share of spray in the face. Just a few more minutes, that's all. Then all this crap will stop and they'll treat you like they'd treat anyone else.
"Fifty-eight...fifty-nine...damn, she managed ten whole minutes."
Makoto has been keeping time by hand. I'm impressed he can even count up to six-hundred, though maybe he's got one of the skinnier recruits helping him out on that one. I sigh with relief as I pretend to be exhausted from all the 'effort' I've put myself through.
"Nice work, Minamitsu-chan. Just one thing we need to do with you now..."
Wait, why is he still calling me Minamitsu-chan? I thought I passed. I thought that stuff was over now. I don't get it, and I look up to him for some sort of explanation.
All I get is a demonic grin in return, as Makoto looks down on me with absolute disgust.
"Why couldn't you just screw up like a good little girl? You thought you could get away with cheating? You make me sick, you little bitch."
Crap, he did see the rope! I guess he's hardly going to give me a lift back on deck now. Maybe he'll just leave me here overnight as payback or something.
"Well, let's see how quickly you can undo that little knot of yours, Miss Fancypants."
He reaches down to the anchor.
Oh, no. Please, please, no.
"D-Don't do that. Don't drop it, please!"
He gets a hold of the top of the anchor, carefully slipping it off its hook. For a few seconds he holds it up, looking me straight in the eye.
He's smiling.
"So long. Maybe a mermaid will come save you. You women all have to stick together, right?!"
He starts laughing like a maniac, and my heart pounds faster than it ever has before. This is too much, it's got to be a joke, one in really bad taste, just let me back onto the ship already-
He lets go.
Almost instantly I crash into the water, the anchor pulling me downward into the icy depths. My free hand starts working as hard as it can on the knot, but I'm panicking. The water's in my eyes, I can't see properly, and I just end up flailing at nothing.
"U-uglglb!"
I didn't get a chance to take a breath. I'm already getting woozy, and the surface is getting further and further away. Even if I do manage to untie the knot, I might not be able to make it up in time...
No. I can't say that. I have to keep trying. I'm not gonna let everything end here thanks to those goddamn chauvinistic pigs! I'll get out of this safe and sound, and get the captain to haul their asses in for attempted murder! Then they'll promote me as an apology and everything'll be fine and dandy, right?
"Bggglb...glubl..."
R-Right? I can do this, right?
But...I can't even see the knot anymore. I can't see anything, not even the surface. And my hand is still tied to the anchor, no matter how hard I yank at it.
...No. Dammit, no! I've got to get out of this! I can't die here, I've got my whole life ahead of me! And what would happen to the old man?! If I end up dying on my first term of service, it might just do his heart in!
"Heeelpblg!!"
By now I'm just clawing wildly at the rope, trying to wear it away with my fingernails. My head is getting all fuzzy now...I can't think straight. I can feel my air just slipping out freely, but I can't even see the bubbles as they drift upwards without me. I'm jealous of them.
"Ugl...blbl...glb..."
I'm getting weaker. I've gone limp now, not even trying to undo the knot anymore. Crap, this is really it. I'm going to die such a crappy death at the hands of some loser. This is bullshit. I can't go out like this, not with such a big future ahead of me...
The anchor finally hits the seabed with a final thud. My body starts shutting down as I lose consciousness. This isn't how I wanted to die. Not now. Not to him.
I swear...if I ever get my hands on the piece of shit...I'll kill him.
Just...just you wait, Makoto...I'll...I'll show you what...what the daughter...of Admiral Minamitsu...can do...just...you...wait...
-----
Word count checks in at around 44k words. Holy shit, I've been writing this fic for 3 months. :O
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Wasn't expecting Murasa's backstory...
This is getting even better than before though.
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Hate to break it to ya, but Murasa died because her ship sank, not because she was tied to an anchor.
But otherwise it was another awesome segment
'The spirit of a human who fell off a ship and drowned in the distant past; due to her lingering attachment to this world, she was bound to the ocean and spent her days capsizing passing ships.' (http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Minamitsu_Murasa)
Maybe I read this segment a little too literally...:|
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I imagine her ships going to sink reeeeeeal soon actually. I almost look forward to it.
Okay I do look forward to it. >:D
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I wake up.
I don't know how to explain it, other than that the world suddenly comes back into full colour again. The murky waters that had blinded me before now seem crystal clear, and the scene in front of me is perfectly visible.
I'm not really conscious, not really aware right now. I'm trying to understand what's going on, trying to find some way to explain it, but there's only one conclusion that I can come to, and I don't want to hear it. This is a dream, it'd gotta be a dream.
That's not me. Not that girl there in the navy uniform, hanging limp from the anchor she's tied to. That girl looking up to the surface with glazed, empty teal eyes, the occasional bubble slipping past her lips as the waves rustle her short, black hair.
That can't be me. That girl is dying.
Thump! Thump! Thump!
I can hear it, loud and clear. That girl's heart pounding with all its might. It's a panicked beating, the sound of a creature well aware that its end is nigh. Her body is starving for air, and she's only just fallen unconscious.
No. She can't die. She won't.
I don't stop to think how I do it, but I just sort of shift across to the anchor. There's no kicking, no cutting the water with my hands. I just think about where I want to go, and I go there. Not something to worry about right now.
Thump, thump, thump.
She's getting weaker. I don't have long now. First I need to undo that knot on the anchor so I can lift her up. The surface is far away, but I'll figure out a way to do it. I have to. I reach out for the anchor, grabbing at the rope.
My hand shifts through the solid metal as if it wasn't there.
For a second I just stare at it, not quite getting what's going on. I pull it back in, out, in, out, over and over again. Nothing.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
"Aah..."
Shit, this is too much. Just...what the hell. There has to be something, anything I can do. I try to wrap my arms around her, holding her in place and giving her mouth-to-mouth.
It's only then, as my arm falls through her shoulder, that I realise I haven't been breathing all this time.
"Aaaah..."
Thump...thump...thump...
I'm having trouble hearing the heartbeat now. I try to pinch myself, wake myself up, but of course I can't even grasp my hand. I realise that I can literally see through my own arm.
Oh, shit. This is real. This is really happening.
I can't think anymore. This is too much for me to handle. I don't want to see this. I don't want to watch myself die like this. Please, make it stop. Someone, anyone, please, make it go away...
...thump...thump...
I hold my arms around her - no, my body. I can't even grip properly, but I hold my arms roughly where they should be. I hold my ear next to my chest, listening for the last signs of life.
Please...just...somehow...don't die. I don't care how, figure a way out, don't die.
"U-uwaaah..."
I moan. It's a pathetic sound, but all it does is disturb the passing fish. No-one can hear my cry for help. It's almost over now.
Going...
...thump...
Going...
...th...
...
Gone.
---
I don't know how long I've been sitting here on the ocean floor. I just tried to hug myself, try and keep my body warm, but by now any heat that my flesh had has long since disappeared. It's just me and this pile of bones and tissue I used to live in.
How else am I supposed to respond? I've literally lost everything. I'll never be the great Captain Minamitsu now. I'll never be the outstanding young woman my father always wanted me to become. I'll never be able to look that captain of mine in the eye and stick my tongue out at him when I strip him of his rank for harrassment. I'll never be able to give Makoto what he deserved, and now he's probably out there laughing his ass off at what happened to me.
The bastard.
And the worst thing? They're all like that. In all my time in the navy, all the time at the academies, the training, the tests, everything I've gone through, not once has one of my fellow seamen so much as offered to open a door for me. Every man I've ever worked with has treated me like a dog. No-one ever bothered to ask how I felt, ever gave me a hand up after a trip in the mess hall, ever invited me to go out for a drink along with everyone else. I was never part of the bigger picture, just a piece in the wrong puzzle.
What did I do to deserve it? Why is it fair that all these guys treat me like crap just because I'm a girl? I didn't have any choice in the matter, and now it's not just ruined my dreams but it's managed to get me killed?
For a while - a long, long while - I stay down there, trying to hug my old body. Her hair waves around every so often, and I try to fool myself into thinking she's alive. I have little conversations with her, and I respond to myself in character. I'm a very good discussion partner, and it's not like I have anyone else to talk to anymore.
But eventually, I run out of things to talk to myself about and I'm alone again. There's no sound down here other than the constant rumbling of the currents, not a person in sight. I feel almost like I don't even exist anymore.
...Months pass. Maybe years. I don't know, there isn't even light down here. By now the rope has worn away by itself, and my body's just floating in place now. I haven't talked to her for ages - everything I can think of saying has already been said.
The loneliness makes me wanna scream.
"...Maybe someone can see me up on the surface."
I don't even care who it is now. I don't care if it's my father, Makoto, or some other navy asshole. I need to be seen by someone, anyone. I need to exist again.
I will myself upward, and immediately the seabed starts to vanish into the distance. It's not something I ever specifically learned to do, I've just sort of been able to do it. Ever since...well, for a long time.
I can't even feel the wind blowing on my face as I break the surface. I can't say I'm surprised, but I brush that thought aside as I look for a passing ship. Our ship was one of the most commonly travelled by the navy, so there'd undoubtedly be something soon-
"There!"
It's in the distance, but I can just about make it out. A small ship, probably with a crew no larger than twelve men. It's coming towards me head on, at a painfully slow speed. This is my chance!
I drift along through the air towards the ship, vaguely aware that I can't move more than a few feet above the earth's surface. I'm probably stuck here - the old stories that used to pass around the academy said that ghosts were bound to the place they died, so maybe there's more truth in that than I'd thought. I never really paid attention to those rumours - I was too busy working my ass off to ace classes to worry about ghost stories.
Irony is a bitch, huh?
Slipping through the front wall of the ship is easy, and I end up in a small cargo hold filled to the brim with various boxes. There are labels on one or two of the boxes, and the names on them are still fresh enough in my mind to ring a bell. They're the names of famous swordsmiths, probably filled with weapons to wage whatever war the country has got itself into this time.
"Hm?"
Someone's talking on the other side of the wall. I put my ear to the wall, pushing in a little too hard and entering the wood. Not that it matters - if anything, I can actually hear them more clearly from here. The first voice is male (of course), ragged and with a hint of tipsiness.
"Hey, ya hear about Admiral Minamitsu?"
I gasp on instinct. My old man? I push my head in closer, taking care not to stick my ear out through the wall. Another voice pops up - a younger one, probably a fresh graduate who hadn't been given the same share of spirits as his companion. He sounds much more sober than his friend, anyway.
"What, you mean the guy who lost his daughter a couple 'a months back? What about him?"
The sound of a chair shuffling. Presumably he's moving in closer to whisper in his companion's ear. I can only make out a few words.
"...suicide...too guilty...blamed himself for her death..."
They're enough.
---
For a few minutes, I just listen on in silence. The discussion segued on into something else, something very related.
"Eh, it's what he gets for trusting a woman on the navy. Seriously, what was she doing outta the kitchens?"
"I know, right? Still, she could've been kinda useful. I know there are times I wanna stand at attention, if ya know what I mean!"
A hearty laugh, and the sound of clinking cups. The news finally starts to sink in fully. My old man. Dead. And it's because of me.
...No. No it isn't. It was never my fault. I was doing everything I was supposed to do. I was a perfect little sailor - I followed every order to the letter, passed every test I was given, performed every chore - I have nothing to be guilty about.
It's them. They're the ones who're responsible. The arrogant, sneering bastards like Makoto, the ones who decided that just because they had a pair of balls between their legs they were somehow better than I was. They ruined my chances. They killed me. And now they've killed my father as well.
...It's now that I realise for the first time that I'm not human. Humans may think a lot of themselves, but in the end they're weak. They have so many rules holding them back - don't lie, cheat, steal, kill, things like that. No matter how much someone deserves to get the crap beaten out of them, it's still a bad thing.
But I'm not alive anymore. I don't have any consequences to worry about. So I can do whatever the hell I like to these people.
And right now, I want them to die.
My hand opens itself naturally, and I feel something forming in it. Looking down, I see an anchor in my grasp - identical to the one I'd been tied to back when I was alive. Goddamn, irony is just plain stalking me now.
I look down at the floor of the ship. Mostly wooden, with maybe a few metallic supports. A big enough hole down here would easily be enough to capsize the ship. I don't stop to think about whether these guys deserve it, or if they're going to help people, or anything like that.
I just slam the anchor into the planks beneath me with all my might. For the first time in months, I make physical contact with the world around me.
And it's one hell of a contact.
The ship shakes around me, and I can hear the two men next door squeal. Water starts flowing into the hold, and for good measure I start slamming down once again into the floor. A happiness flows through me I haven't felt in months - I feel powerful, I feel strong. I feel, well, alive.
"I-It's coming from in there!"
One of the heroic sailors yelps at his friend as he opens the door into the hold. His eyes look at the holes beneath him, with water now well up to his knees. Then they look at me, and his face turns pure white.
"G...G-G-G-G-"
He stutters uselessly, his entire body locked in place. He's scared. Of me.
Holy shit, this feels fantastic.
I didn't intend for this to happen, but maybe this whole dying thing wasn't so bad after all. Now I can do all sorts of crazy things, and now I can have all the bastards from before crying at my feet, begging me for mercy. This would've never happened while I was still alive.
The water rises further, and I stare at the lone sailor for as long as I can. His friend has probably run into the distance like a good little boy. I savour the feeling of power, of strength, of worth, until finally he realises his life's in danger and makes his way back onto deck.
It doesn't take long for my handiwork to finish itself off. The ship tips forward, and the bottom levels start flooding completely as it slowly sinks into the water. I stay just far enough away to admire my success, hearing and savouring every panicked scream, every cry for mercy, every prayer in vain. The ship vanishes beneath the surface completely, and for a short while a few stragglers struggle to keep their heads above water. Then nothing, save a few bubbles rising up to the surface.
I don't think I've ever felt this happy before. I feel incredible - I just singlehandedly sunk a ship of the navy - a fully-manned ship designed for soldiers - and I did it without the slightest hint of effort. I know I should be feeling guilty about the whole killing thing, but right now the satisfaction is more fulfilling than any guilt could override. This is me finally releasing the anger that's been built up over 18 years men screwing me over in everything I do. This is me finally getting my own back, finally getting to give these guys the beating they deserve. I almost wonder why I never did anything like this while I was alive.
There'll be more ships coming, of course. They'll look for the missing ship, or just keep using the trade routes regardless. And if they try something else - well, I've got all the time in the world to figure out the route they're using next. As long as they travel these seas, I'll be able to find them.
"Hehehe...guess I can still make a name for myself in some way. Just not the way I'd planned."
I dip my head back beneath the water, waiting eagerly for the next ship to pass. Another ship, filled with more of those bigoted sailors who'll cower in fear the instant I show up.
Goddamn, this is gonna be fun.
-----
Update was late, had trouble with inspiration for this segment, sorry. -_-
Also YES THERE ARE TYPOS EVERYWHERE PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING THE SORT OF WRITER WHO ONLY FINDS INSPIRATION WHEN HE'S SLEEP-DEPRIVED ;_;
EDIT2: 'Roukanken, Vicks and 26 Guests are viewing this topic.'
Okay either the forum software is acting up or I have a secret stalker club who laugh at my relentless storm of typos
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Badass Psycho Murasa is awesome.
-
THIS IS MY ANCHOR
THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS IS MINE
AND ITS PUNCHING HOLES IN YOUR SHIP, BITCH
The 'bitch' is for emphasis. Bitch.
-
As my way of apologising for taking so long, have the update I literally spent all day working on. -_-
Warning: Murasa uses lots of NAUGHTY WORDS in this segment :V
-----
"Okay, this is getting kinda old."
Another ship making its way to the ocean floor. Another crew of sailors slain tragically before their time. But really, when you've sunk one ship, you've just about sunk them all.
I'm vaguely aware that the ship designs have been changing ever so slightly over time. They're more up-to-date, more complicated, though of course nothing a little effort from me can take down. How long has it been since I started? Months, years? I can't tell, I haven't been keeping track.
By now, I've managed to earn a bit of a reputation for myself. Apparently I'm not just any ordinary ghost now, I'm a full-blown youkai. I've heard the whisperings among the sailors, the rumours they don't want to be heard spreading. They share stories of a young girl cast out to sea by a jealous lover, and how her ghost came back from the dead to find him and haunt him. I make it a habit of appearing before them for a short while to correct them on that point before I get around to the whole ship-sinking thing. Like hell I'd have anything to do with that bastard Makoto.
The only part of the rumour I'm willing to work alongside is the new name they apparently have for me. My human name is a memory of a time long-gone, a time I'll never get back. Why should I hold onto it when I'm dead?
And besides, Murasa Minamitsu has a nice ring to it.
---
No matter how tired I am of stalking ships, waiting around for them to show up is even worse.
By now, I've tried talking to most of the fish that swim past me just to relieve the boredom for a second or two. The sights down here would probably amaze other girls my age, but again by now I've already seen just about everything the ocean floor has to offer. Now and again I come across some of my own handiwork, a proud ship of the navy resting forever, half-buried in a grave of sand. That's enough to bring a smile to my face.
Most of the time, though, I sit in silence next to that anchor. My body is long gone - the sea water could only preserve it for so long, and eventually the currents just sent it on its merry way. I can't say I miss it, but by now I'm starting to forget what I looked like. Maybe on my next little adventure I should watch the reflection in some man's eye and see if I can make something out.
But that'd mean a moment I'm not spending watching the terror flare up in his eyes, a chance I could be using to bask in my power. Decisions, decisions...
Time passes. Hours. Days. Weeks, maybe. No matter how hard I listen to the waves, the one thing they don't work as is a clock. But I can make out something heavy working its way through the water - an anomaly in the sound that's running through my head on permanent repeat.
"Showtime."
I laugh a little as I rise back up to the surface. Not because I'm especially looking forward to the ship-sinking anymore, but because anything is more interesting than spending all my time down there.
---
It's a small freighter, with a crew of maybe two dozen men. The hull seems more fortified - metal plates running down it, made of what looks like good-quality steel. About time they did that - I remember writing an essay when I was at the academy about how our ships were begging to get torn up by rocks with the so-called 'modern' design. Ignored completely, of course, but in the end it made no difference to me. Steel or not, it'll still give way pretty easily to a shot or two from my good friend Mr. Anchor.
For all the differences they made to the outside, the inner workings of the ship are pretty much the same as they've always been. I take my usual spot in the cargo hold and listen in on the conversation. They've grown a lot less confident recently, I've noticed, and whenever the story of Murasa shows up pretty much the entire crew will fall into an awkward silence. It's beautiful, really.
Today, though, the discussion takes a different path than usual. One of the men sounds like a real intellectual, and I imagine for a moment that his cup is filled with milk as he slams it down.
"You guys haven't heard? The Navy's actually hiring some monk to come out and take care of her!"
Okay, this is interesting news. I listen more intently as sighs of relief pass around the tables.
"Oh, that's good to hear. I was wo- ahem, I was afraid she'd end up picking on more ships that aren't as well armed as us. This monk - is he well-known?"
"It's a woman for one, and from what I hear she's one of the best. Specialises in youkai exterminations. There's some iffy stuff passing around about her, but I don't believe it for a second!"
The milk-drinker stands up straight, seemingly absorbed by his own presence. This is the sort of attitude that would normally earn you a beating from your fellow crewmates, but when it comes to talking about me no-one has the nerve to argue with the smartass.
I appreciate that.
"Anyway," I say cheerfully as I make my way out of the cargo hold and into plain view, "that's some pretty interesting info you guys have. Thanks for passing it on. Now, I know it's rude to shoot the messenger, but..."
---
Wow. Just...wow.
A real youkai exterminator? Hired to take care of me? Looks like I've hit the big time after all.
I wonder what sort of woman she'll be. One of those weird Buddhist monks with the orange robes and no hair? Or those weird nun people from across the ocean with their crosses and stuff? Either way, it should be no problem for me. Humans can be as strong or as spiritual as they like, but I'm pretty damn sure they can't fly.
When I beat this monk - when, not if - maybe I'll make a name for myself among the local youkai as well. I saw one or two of 'em - things like dolphins and sharks and mermaids and stuff like that - but they sorta just swam right by me. I'm still small fry - no big scalps to my name, no bounties to hand in or anything like that. With any luck, that'll change pretty soon.
Dammit, I'm excited now. It feels like time's slowing down just to spite me. It'll probably be a few days before this monk shows up, but it's gonna feel like forever. It's like the day before my birthday, except instead of my old man getting me a shiny new telescope, it's some old lady giving me a toy to play with and 'accidentally' break in the first five minutes.
I feel hyped. I feel powerful. I feel respected.
Hell, I know it sounds stupid, but I'll say it anyway - I feel alive.
I kill the time by scouring the wreck of the lucky freighter that brought me the news. The steering wheel is still intact, and apparently ships are the only thing I can actually interact with. My hands grip the wheel with an enthusiasm that no living captain could compare to.
"All hands on deck! There's a storm coming in!"
Yeah, I'm talking to myself, but it's not like anyone can hear me. Smartass floats by once, but he's kinda blue in the face now. He passes by on his merry way, leaving me in charge of what was once his ship. Strangely, he doesn't seem to mind.
"Hard to starboard! Hold on, everybody!"
It always looked so exciting when I saw the captain do it - steering the ship through troubled waters while yelling out commands to everyone in earshot. But...down here, on a ship that doesn't work with a crew that isn't breathing, it's not even a pale imitation.
"...Gah, never mind."
I let go of the wheel, floating upwards to leave the wreck behind. What the hell was the point in that? It's like I'm trying to rub in the fact that I'll never get to do it for real.
Well, I'm pissed now. Guess I'm gonna really have to give this woman a good beating to work it off.
---
There's a storm overhead.
The waves are wild, almost random. More than once I've heard something that sounded like a ship and risen up for a false alarm. By now I'm starting to really get impatient - don't tell me she chickened out at the last minute?
Another lash overhead, along with a muffled clap of thunder. It's a bad night to be on the seas.
"Huh?"
Something is definitely trying to force its way through now...but it's struggling. The ship sounds like it's not cutting the water cleanly. No navy ship would ever suffer from such poor design.
So it has to be her. But...in such a lackluster boat?
I burst for the surface as soon as I can. Sure enough, it's a clunky old boat with a crew of maybe three members. Their leader, a young woman with some crazy purple/brown hairstyle and a monochrome dress, turns to face me the instant I emerge from the water. Her eyes are confident, but there's no anger behind them.
This is a joke.
"Greetings. I assume you are the youkai known as Murasa?"
Here we go with the fancypants language. I couldn't stand people like this when I was alive, and death hasn't exactly made me any more accepting of it. I stifle a yawn.
"And you're this so-called youkai exterminator here to take me out, aren't ya."
Silence. The waves look like they're going to take the ship down before I do, but the rest of the crew seems unfazed. I can't see their faces for the hoods, but they aren't even making an effort to tend to the water being thrown onto the deck.
"I will give you one chance to turn yourself in. Surrender, or I will be forced to purify you."
Really? I'd find this woman more threatening if she didn't have all the appearance of a drowned rat. Her eyes had passion, yeah, but at this rate any normal human being would be coming down with pnumonia.
Seriously, is this a joke?
"Two things. First, no dice. Second..."
The anchor appears in my hand again. This time I shift over to the boat's side, aiming at the hull with an awesome swing.
"...Good riddance!"
The hull crumples like paper with a fantastic sound. I don't realise I've overdone it until the ship itself flies out the water, and the ship's three residents are physically thrown into the ocean. My eyes immediately focus on the monk, waiting to her to perform some incantation or spell to stop herself hitting the water.
She smiles, before disappearing under the surface along with her boat and the rest of her crew.
"...That's it? Seriously?!"
I can barely hear myself over the raging storm. What the hell? Is this some sort of prank that the youkai decided to play on me or something? Scare me senseless with some 'exterminator' who turns out to be about as durable as a sardine in a shark pool? What a waste of time. I was getting so pumped up for this, too, but as I slip back beneath the water I mutter to myself that all of it was for nothing in the end.
...Wait. That's weird.
The ship I just sank is right there, falling deeper and deeper into the depths. I saw the three crew members on it fall in, and none of them surfaced.
So why aren't they there?
"Impressive. You're quite strong for such a young youkai."
S-She's alive? And above me? How is that even possible?! I race back to the surface again.
Geez, when'd it get so bright up here?! There's no sun, but there's something else hanging in the air, letting off a golden light. It's...
No way. That isn't possible, it can't be possible.
Is that...my old service ship?
---
"Have no fear. I have no intention of harming you. Please, come on board so we can talk."
What sorta proposition is that? Two minutes ago she said she was going to 'purify' me, and now she wants to be my best friend? Understandably, I keep my distance from the floating ship. It has to be some sort of trap.
The two hooded figures emerge from behind the monk again. The shorter one shivers a little, and I can see something pink hidden beneath the cloak.
"Ah, that's really cold..."
The hood comes down, showing the face of a young woman with dark blue hair and a very red nose. From behind her back, there's some sort of...cloud with a face on it that's blowing warm air to warm her up. So she wasn't human after all, was she?
The other figure stays silent, looking towards the monk. She shakes her head in response.
"Not yet, my friend. Let us welcome her in first."
Okay, this could still be a trap. Maybe it's a spell to make you see that which you desire the most or something before sending your soul to hell, or something like that. Or this is all some massive ruse and the third guy in the hood is the real exterminator who's gonna take me out the instant I turn my back.
Still, can I just step away from this? If it gets around that I got scared away by some girl on a glowing ship, I'll never be taken seriously by other youkai again. But I don't want to attack right away either - I get the feeling a surprise attack is my only chance here.
So I'll humour her, and have her little talk. When she looks away for a moment, BAM. I float upwards, landing neatly on the ship's deck in front of the three. Four if you count the cloud, but whatever.
"Okay, woman. Start talking."
"Byakuren will do, thanks. And the first thing I'd like to do is ask you a question."
She reached into her dress, pulling out a leatherbound book and throwing it over to me. It's damp, but as I open it up I find that the writing inside has survived.
Well, it finally happened! I've been enrolled in the Navy starting tomorrow! Can you believe it?! All those years of training have finally paid off!
"Ah-"
She sees the recognition in my eyes, and she smiles.
"They gave it back to your father after you passed away. I did a little research into you before I came here - I've learned enough to know that rumours never contain the whole truth."
I glance through the pages. I remember writing these - hopes for the future, then complaints about the crew, and finally Makoto and his last chance offer to make up for everything. Then nothing.
"You lived a very sad life, didn't you? All brought to an end by that tragic accident."
My teeth clench. Apparently, her research isn't been as thorough as she claimed.
"Accident? Bullshit. Makoto threw me off the ship that night."
"Oh, is that so?"
Her eyes look to me with a pensive glare, curious. What, does she think I'm lying?
"...She's telling the truth."
A voice from inside the third hood. It was muffled, but it was just familiar enough to make my heart shiver a little.
"Ah, so you agree with her. I suppose you would know better than I would, wouldn't you?"
Oh, come on. You're not going to tell me it's HIM under the mask. That's not even possible, he'd never work under a woman like this. See, he's pulling the hood up a little now so I can see that he's not-
"It's been a while, hasn't it...Minamitsu-chan."
---
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
What is he doing here? Did no-one report the crime? Did he really get away with...with...killing me?
I want to kill him. I want to kill him right now. The anchor's in my hand again, and before I even realise what I'm doing I've closed half the distance and I'm ready to smash his head to a pulp.
But of course, the monk doesn't want me dishing out any unnecessary violence, and she clamps her hand down on my shoulder. Never mind the fact that she can touch me, this woman has one hell of a grip.
"Give him a chance to talk, Murasa. I get the feeling you two have a lot of catching up to do."
I try to squirm out of her hold on me, but she's stronger than any human I've ever met and probably every youkai. Makoto is probably gonna mock me for this, point out that I'm still just as powerless as usual.
But he doesn't. It's exactly what he would always do, but he doesn't.
I'm not going to lie. I'm confused.
"I...I don't know how to say this. I'd apologise, but...no, I can't apologise. I meant every word I said to you back then."
Is this an actor? Some sort of delusion? The Makoto I knew would never be so humble, but he pulls the hood down further. That face - that's him, the same man, just as he looked on the last night of my life.
"This is going to sound awkward, but...whatever I felt about you, I respected your father. He was a great man, a brilliant admiral who more or less convinced me to join the navy myself. I knew you were his daughter, but still - a woman in the navy?"
Silence for a while. Are those tears? They can't be. He would never cry.
"When they declared you missing the next day, I reported that you had been tampering with the anchor on the hilt late at night. The captain believed me, and I just went around my daily business without you around to piss me off. I won't lie. I felt invincible that day.
"But when news hit your old man...he couldn't take it. He gave out one last speech reprimanding the whole force for allowing this disaster to happen, but of course since everyone thought you'd killed yourself it didn't hold an ounce of weight. Hearing my childhood idol say something like that, though...I don't think anything has ever made me feel so humble in my life."
He started to pull away the hood, revealing his old navy uniform from the chest down.
"Then came the day that Admiral Minamitsu...departed. My friends didn't care much, they just thought it was another old-timer getting too old to think straight, but my entire life came apart on that day. My hero, my role model, dead. And it was my fault."
He pulled the hood away entirely, revealing the clothing underneath.
"And in the end, I suppose I was no stronger a man than he was."
My eyes widened. He was still in his full navy uniform.
But hanging - no, lodged in his stomach was a long, deadly blade, laced with blood. No man could survive an injury like that.
...Shit.
"You aren't the only one hanging around after death. I couldn't come to terms with what I'd done, so I suppose my soul's never been at peace. I don't know how long I've been travelling, looking for any sign as to what happened to you, just so I could even apologise at your gravestone and move on. But eventually, I ended up getting hunted down by a proclaimed youkai killer, and I assumed my time was up."
He looked over to the monk, and only now did I realise she'd let go of me a long time ago.
"And, well, that's how I ended up here, meeting you again."
No. This isn't it, not at all. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. I never had a chance to get the revenge I was looking for because Makoto went and killed himself? And better yet, now he isn't even the same dick he was when he killed me and he shows up here practically begging for forgiveness?
Dammit, what the hell is wrong with my legs? What am I doing on my knees at a time like this? I have to look up to see Makoto's face now, but even that's getting hard because my eyes are getting misty. I'm not, I can't be, captains are supposed to-
Fuck. I'm crying.
---
"You've killed hundreds of innocent men, all for the sake of vengeance. By now you don't even seek revenge, but you kill simply for the sake of social standing. By every standard, you are a threat to humanity."
Shut up, woman. Is now really the time to give me a guilt trip on top of everything else? I still can't see...why aren't these tears stopping already?
"But at the same time, I can see that in truth your story is a tragic one. Your life was nothing but an endless repeat of the same event - you gave your all, you succeeded, and yet because you were a woman your efforts were ignored. You did not turn to murder out of an evil soul - you turned to it because there was no other option available to you."
She walks up to me and place a hand on my shoulder.
"Perhaps you still have crimes to atone for, but I believe you at least deserve another chance."
The tears are finally coming to a stop, and I can see her face clearly again.
If anyone ever talks about her magical powers, the first thing to they should mention is that smile. Hell, I don't even have a heart and I can feel something melt in my chest at the sight of it. She offers me a hand, helps me back to my feet.
"But I can't forgive you unless you're willing to forgive others, Murasa. So I want you to make a decision for me."
She looks back to Makoto, still patiently waiting in the same spot, totally at ease with the sword sticking out of him. Seriously, that's awkward as all hell.
"This man did terrible, terrible things to you. But can't you see that he has realised his mistake, and has literally held himself away from rebirth in order to repent? Can you not finally give his soul the peace it deserves?"
I can't believe I'm on the verge of doing this. This goes against everything I've believed in, everything I've wanted to do since the day I died. I should be pushing that sword further into him, if anything, but that face of his - damn, there's enough guilt on there to shame a dozen men.
It takes a long time for me to come to a decision. There's a lot of anger still hanging in me that never got fully resolved, anger that built up for 18 long years.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done - alive or otherwise - but I manage to put my hand on Makoto's shoulder.
"...It's okay. You can go now."
Immediately his eyes widen in surprise. He probably wasn't expecting forgiveness even now, but in a few seconds the guy's already in tears. Before I know it he's wrapped his arms around me and dug his head into my chest.
Men, huh. Still as prissy as usual.
"...Thank you, Minamitsu-san."
Makoto starts to fade away, his last wish finally fulfilled. I can feel his grip lightening as he moves on to whatever the hell comes next, but he manages to let out one last sentence before vanishing completely.
"In another life, maybe you would could have been my captain after all."
And then Makoto is gone, forever. Suddenly I've lost both my reason for revenge and my reason for existing, but I'm not granted the same peace he is. I'm a youkai now, not a ghost - I've been reborn in my own way, but I'm cursed to these oceans until the day I'm exorcised.
Where am I meant to go from here?
"Oh, so he's gone now. That's a bit of a shame."
The monk - no, Byakuren, that was her name - pouts at the sight of Makoto moving on. Her eyes turn to the wheel of the ship, unmanned and unattended.
"It was Makoto that led us here in that little ship of ours, and I'm afraid I have no experience with ships myself. Ichirin, what about you?"
The girl with the cloud had been too busy whispering to her companion to really have an effect on the conversation, but as her name is called she suddenly jerks back into reality.
"A-Ah, no. I'd have no idea how to control this thing. Unzan here is probably as bad as I am on that front, without mentioning his...obvious difficulties."
The cloud pouts at that one, taking it as an insult. They're a weird pair, but they look like they could have the potential to grow on me if I hanged around with them for long enough. Byakuren puts a finger on her lip pensively.
"Hmm, that's quite a conundrum. If we've lost our leader, and neither of us can man the ship..."
It takes me a little while to realise the conclusion she's coming to. But when I realise what she's going to say next, I freeze completely.
"We're going to have to add a new member to our crew. Right, Murasa?"
Did...did she plan this out? Not only did she not kill me, she gave me a chance to settle the old score, and NOW she's basically giving me the chance I never got.
Is this woman a god or something?
"You'll be more or less bound to the ship, of course, but you'll be able to leave these oceans at last and see the rest of the world. I'll be needing a steady hand like yours in my work with your people - hopefully I've done enough to prove that my apparent title of youkai exterminator is rather inaccurate. Consider it a conscription order to work under me in exchange for your own ship."
Conscription? Like hell I'd need to be conscripted into this. This is...well, it's everything I've ever wanted. I nod with all the force I can muster.
"Do you really think you need to ask?"
I run up to the deck, to the abandoned steering wheel. I'm tense, I'm nervous, I'm jittery. I'm still having trouble believing all of this is really happening, that it's not some sort of final delusion before I die for real. I'm scared that maybe I won't be able to do this after all, that it might just be too much responsibility for me.
The image of an old man flashes into my mind. He stands at attention to an unseen superior, but the warm smile on his face isn't that of a soldier.
It's the smile of a father.
Old man...I did it.
I grab the wheel, and immediately any worries I had vanish into the distance. This is the moment I've spent eighteen years rehearsing for in my head. Immediately I can feel the power, the authority, the control, and it's everything I ever wanted it to be.
I laugh. I make sure the others are standing behind me so they can't see the tears in my eyes. I'm not supposed to cry. Not in my new post, anyway.
The rain starts to ease up, and the clouds give way. In the distance, the first light of daybreak appears on the horizon. It's fitting.
And behind me, Byakuren smiles, and says the words that make me the proudest goddamn youkai in the world.
"This ship is yours now, Captain Murasa. Lead the way."
---
"Well, that's just about all there is to say. After that the three of us went around saving whoever we could, the rumours came around to bite us in the ass, and Hijiri ended up here working for Vaisrawhatshisname until things settled down."
Murasa looked away as she fell silent. I couldn't make out a definite emotion in her eyes - there was sorrow, ambition, regret and pride all mixed up in there at once.
"You can probably tell I didn't tell you this story 'cause I feel like an old lady. Hijiri's one hell of a woman, tiger, and she just doesn't give herself credit for all the amazing things she's done. Kinda hypocritical if you think about it long enough - she gives me a chance to atone for my sins, but she's never looked at herself in the same way. Sorta a shame, really."
There was a kind soul in there, I decided. Murasa really did have people's best interests at heart. It was just a matter of whether you were patient enough to burrow through all the layers above it.
"...So. I know you said otherwise, but I'm asking you one last time. Hijiri doesn't deserve what those people are gonna do to her. Please, at least help us give her a chance to escape."
What was I supposed to do? A few hours ago, I had been ready to let Byakuren pay for her crimes, but now I was wondering if she'd ever committed a crime at all. If there was any sin she had to atone for it was fear, but in the stories I'd heard she'd shown more than enough bravery. The scriptures would most likely oppose me on the matter, but I remembered an old parable from the Bhudda himself - the scriptures were but a stepping stone, to be discarded when no longer necessary. Now seemed as good a reason as any to step away from the book and act on what was right.
I was about to start on my answer when I realised that Murasa was no longer looking at me. Her eyes were staring out a porthole, towards the horizon.
"...Shit."
Dawn had broken. And with it, the voices of a thousand angry villagers pierced the air.
The time had come.
-
That was a pretty awesome take on Murasa's back-story.
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That was a pretty awesome take on Murasa's back-story.
So then Matoko tried to kill himself as well? Murasa-chan's past is to sad T_T
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So then Matoko tried to kill himself as well? Murasa-chan's past is to sad T_T
Rou likes to take the tragic route a lot.
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I just read the entire thing in one sitting, it was that good!! This is my first UFO backstory fanfic I've read, and I love it!!
Oh, one "Random pointless completely ignorable nitpick" (as kakkesu would say) - Murasa is her family name, so shouldn't her father be Admiral Murasa rather than Admiral Minamitsu?
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I just read the entire thing in one sitting, it was that good!! This is my first UFO backstory fanfic I've read, and I love it!!
Oh, one "Random pointless completely ignorable nitpick" (as kakkesu would say) - Murasa is her family name, so shouldn't her father be Admiral Murasa rather than Admiral Minamitsu?
Murasa isn't actually her real name though. So no, he wouldn't be Admiral Murasa.
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;_;
I nearly cried at this. At first, just like Murasa, I thought that Makoto should have probably be damned to hell and such, but never did I think that he would be the third person, let alone taking his own life and repenting. You are such an awesome writer :(.
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Rou likes to take the tragic route a lot.
Indeed, but I think the real touching part is yet to come.
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Murasa isn't actually her real name though. So no, he wouldn't be Admiral Murasa.
If so, it wouldn't be Admiral Minamitsu either...
But then again, this is totally ignorable, and it doesn't take away from the fact that this story is amazing. I can't wait for the next update!!
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Yes, I haven't updated for ages. Yes, I'm sorry.
-----
"Looks like we're outta time."
Murasa turned back to the doorway, gaining pace until she was running back to the entrance. I followed afterward, the loud slamming from the planks still not enough to drown out the cries coming closer and closer.
"Burn the demon!"
"Youkai-lover!"
"Cut out the liar's tongue!"
Ichirin was already waiting for us when we emerged from inside the ship, her eyes focused on the ever approaching mob. Unzan floated by her shoulder, his face a dark grimace. They were looking at one of the humans in particular - the mob's leader, walking a few paces ahead of the rest. It was a young woman, with long black hair running down her back, dressed in the classical red garb of a shrine maiden.
"So, that's Misato Hakurei..."
Even from here, I could see the determination in her hazel eyes. They were focused on the temple, almost looking through the walls and seeing Byakuren inside, still sitting in the meditation hall in that painful silence. I couldn't remember the last time a human had ever incited so much fear in me.
"Heh. So you're scared too, tiger?"
Murasa let off a little quip, and I looked at her. She was shivering, physically, to the point where only the fiery glint in her eyes reminded me of the proud captain I used to know. Ichirin seemed to be shrinking into her robes, and even Unzan was cowering at the sight of the advancing army.
But still.
"Only on the inside. You two, stay hidden while I try to talk her out of it."
It was already an unspoken agreement between the three of us that we wouldn't resort to deadly force. There was no way that Byakuren would accept the death of a human in her name, and however much that infuriated them Murasa and Ichirin nodded in agreement. They were both effectively powerless, held off by the threat of killing an innocent. No doubt sending the mob along was a plan on the part of Misato rather than going alone.
I heard the pair scuttling into the bushes behind me as I made my way back to the entrance of the temple. The mob had almost descended upon us now, and I could see the hatred in each of their faces. All except the shrinemaiden, who wore a totally neutral expression conveying her will and nothing else. Either she was a master of her own emotions, or she was as unhappy with these circumstances as we were.
That was good. It meant that a negotiation might well work.
As the mob finally came to the foot of the temple, I decided that my best chance was to frighten them off. Standing at the top of the stairway, I took a few steps back, before running forward and taking the largest leap I could. I placed a hand on the pagoda and focused my mind while in the air, and the lantern let off a cool blue light.
The sounds of mystified villagers filled the air. 'Who's that?' 'What's going on?' Useless words like that. I disregarded them. My attention was on the only member of the group that matters - the shrinemaiden at the helm, stopping in her tracks as if to welcome me.
I landed cleanly on one of the bottom steps, only a few feet in front of Misato. The pagoda's light becomes a single bright flash, and a spear materialises in my spare hand. I point it at the miko's throat in one swift motion.
"State your business, mortal. You trespass on the holy ground of Vaisravana."
The sound of a dozen grown men squealing at once is an unusual one, but that was what I heard as my declaration came to an end. Apparently, Byakuren had been right when she said I looked like a man.
"I-I-It's Vaisravana! He's come to kill us all!"
One or two of them dropped their weapons and fled, screaming as they ran back to whatever hole they had crawled out of. The remaining force turned its eyes in unison towards their leader, watching to see if she was as frightened as they were.
If she was, she didn't show it. She stared me down with a cold, hard glance, ignoring the spear entirely.
"I am here to purge the world of the black magician known as Byakuren Hijiri. Stand aside."
Was I shaking? No, not yet. I was close, though - I could feel my insides turning to jelly just holding this standoff. Maybe she felt the same.
"This temple offers no sanctuary to dark magic. You are mistaken."
A few seconds of silence. The mob were conflicted, and on the verge of taking my advice and running for their lives. But Misato stood firm amidst it all, her eyes only growing more determined.
"You expect me to fall for your ruse, youkai? I know of your master, and of how she aids your kind. You are no god, and you will not turn me away."
Without a hint of doubt, she saw through my trick without pausing for an instant. That confirmed it - there was no hidden fear beneath those determined eyes of hers. No desire to run away, no fear of death, no concern about if she failed. Absolute self-confidence. A self-confidence I was definitely lacking in, as I could feel my grip on the spear begin to tremble.
This girl wasn't normal. No normal human being could stare down a youkai so confidently when their life was at stake.
This girl was a monster.
"Now get out of my way, beast, before I exterminate you as well."
She reached down to her side and pulled out a wooden gohei, made of a fine ancient oak. I could see it glow, so strong was the power held within it. But still, wood was wood, and surely there was no way that it could match solid steel in terms of strength. If I disarmed her, I could still have a chance.
"You'll have to make me move, human!"
I swung at the gohei with all the force I could muster, with the intent of snapping it in two. Misato barely had time to see the move coming, and by now, the crowd had fallen silent out of fear for their own safety. With their leader disarmed, they would no doubt lose their resolve, and-
"If you insist."
It was wood. It had to be wood. There was no way it couldn't have been wood. And yet the spear bounched off the gohei, as if it had clashed with a weapon of its own calibre. Misato raised her weapon fully now, accepting my challenge.
The challenge which I was now starting to regret.
"What's the matter? You aren't afraid, are you...?"
She mocked me as she lunged toward me with the gohei, pushing me backwards up the staircase as I blocked. I winced - she had immense strength even for a youkai, but as a human it was doubly astounding. Clearly these villagers had chosen wisely.
"Heh. You've gotta be kidding."
But still. If nothing else, I could offer Murasa and Ichirin some time. They could get Byakuren onto the ship and take off, take her to a place where this gang wouldn't find her.
And as for me? No, it was a bad idea to think about that. The more I thought it over, the more I'd get scared, so I killed off those thoughts before they could start. I looked back at Misato, giving her the most confident grin I could muster as our fight began in earnest.
"I'm a tiger. And tigers aren't afraid of anything!"
-
Hau~ Go Shou! A long but awesome update, thank you!
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Yay update!! I love this story
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Hm... This didn't go as I expected. And a Hakurei eh? Interesting. I wonder where the peices will fall from here.
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Hoh boy... A Hakurei coming to seal away Byakuren, Shou and Murasa may end up bearing grudge's, even small ones, towards the Hakurei's cause of this.
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Rising Star. It updates almost as often as White Rose!
-------
The sound of clashing weapons echoed through the chambers of the meditation hall, almost growing stronger as it moved through the air. Byakuren flinched as it reached her, wincing as she maintained her upright stance.
It has begun...
Every clash felt like it was scratching at her eardrums, almost causing her physical pain. It was probably Shou out there, fighting for her sake against the shrine maiden. There was no doubt on how that fight would end, though - for all of her strength and training under Vaisravana, Shou didn't stand a chance. Misato was the latest descendant of the legendary Hakurei family, a human bloodline with magical power that even youkai couldn't compare with. Their presence took a few generations to grow, but now they were a name known across all of Japan.
And of course, it was the duty of any good shrine maiden to exterminate troublesome youkai.
The fighting outside grew louder. She could make out murmurs now, the sound of Misato's gang growing more enthusiastic as they saw their leader's power first hand. Shou was being pushed back, slowly but surely. She wasn't going to last much longer. An image flashed in her mind for a moment - the tiger looking down, seeing a gohei piercing her in the chest as she coughed up blood, her face wracked with pain-
No!
Byakuren put her hands over her ears, willing the sound to be silent. She couldn't accept this. She couldn't deal with this blood on her hands. Shou had done nothing wrong - she had simply followed orders, done what was best for her band of tigers, for her god, for her friends. For Shou to die for her sake...she couldn't deal with that.
Still...what could she do? There was no way she would get away unscathed - even if she were to fight, Misato had enough expertise and power to defeat her. Perhaps she couldn't die, but she could still be sealed away for the rest of time. Was there no way to win here...?
Despite her best efforts, the sound drifted past her hands. The fight came closer and closer, until she almost thought the pair were going to crash through the door of the temple and take their fight inside. Every hit was agonising, with Byakuren's mind coming to the worst conclusion with every strike. In her mind, Shou was being stabbed in the heart, in the stomach, in the eye, everywhere. It was too much, just too much. She was crying now, her sobs doing nothing to drown out the approaching sound.
It took her a few minutes for her tears to stop. Byakuren rose to her feet once again, smiling with an eerie calmness. She slowly started to make her way out of the room, feeling the weight lifting from her shoulders as she walked.
In the end, I only have one choice, don't I...?
-----
"Gah!"
This couldn't be happening. My arms felt like they were about to snap from the force being hammered into the spear. I was almost convinced that there was just a layer of paint over it, and the gohei in her hand was made of the hardest metal I'd ever seen.
"Shouldn't you be devouring me around now? That's what you youkai do, isn't it?"
There was no expression in Misato's voice. No anger, no fear, not even a hint of fatigue. Just sheer, utter focus in the task ahead of her - her mission to take Byakuren apart, and take me with her if necessary.
I was nowhere near as lucky - the fight was taking its toll, and she had slowly been pushing me up the stairs to the temple. The gang of thugs followed behind her, still too afraid of me to get in the way of the melee. I could see the hope in their eyes, the hope that Misato would be enough to help them get rid of these sick, demonic youkai.
I felt sick to my stomach.
"Ah-!"
I'd hesitated, and Misato didn't lose a moment in capitalising. I heard a deafening crack as the gohei slammed into the side of my chest. I had no doubt that a strike with that force would be enough to kill an ordinary man. My youkai pedigree was enough to keep me standing, but it sure as hell didn't do anything to stop the pain.
If I had the slightest chance, I'd have fallen to my knees and screamed, clutching at my side and pulling my hands back up with a small layer of blood covering my palms. But that would give her another opening, and I'd be finished. I settled for clenching my teeth until I was scared they would crack apart from the pressure.
"...Why?"
I thought I was hearing things as I was being knocked further back, but my ears hadn't deceived me. Misato had asked me a simple question, her voice barely audible over the clashing of our weapons.
"Why do you defend her? Don't you know the crimes she's committed?"
What sort of question was this? Maybe she didn't expect an answer, given that her attacks continued regardless. I fought the pain for long enough to offer her an answer.
"If trying to help people out is a crime...then I may as well be a criminal as well."
"People? The only ones to benefit from her deeds are the youkai."
Again, absolutely no emotion in her voice. I would have been less afraid of her if she were filled with the righteous indignation that drove the mob behind her, but to be so completely in control of herself was something else entirely.
But there was no time for fear. We'd reached the top of the staircase, and the temple was right behind me. So I flipped the fear inside out and turned it into anger.
"So...you're saying that youkai don't count as people? Don't we have feelings, emotions, hearts just like you humans? Or do you honestly think we're all just soulless machines who you can kill off without a hint of conscience?"
Misato didn't respond to that one with words.
She just made the most of my anger, waited for me to get overaggressive, and parried my thrust elegantly.
"Wha-"
Time slowed to a crawl. My arm was still in front of me, hanging uselessly behind Misato. The miko closed in, dashing to within inches of my face. I could feel her breath on my cheek.
Then, a fist pounded into my gut.
"!!!"
That was it. That was the killer blow. I coughed, spitting out blood onto the staircase as my body failed me. Misato held me close for a moment, murmuring in my ear.
"They're afraid."
I managed to register confusion in the midst of the pain flooding every nerve I had. The mob finished climbing the staircase behind us, the relief on their faces evident.
"The majority of humanity is weak and frail. Your kind are a threat to us and our safety."
I wanted to answer. To say that we meant no harm, that we simply wished to stay to ourselves and live a simple life under the worship of Vaisravana. Even if I had the strength for it, though, I knew the words would be falling on deaf ears.
Ichirin's face flashed in front of my eyes. The Kumoi clan. Innocent. Well-intentioned. Still considered a threat and slaughtered anyway.
We spent an eternity looking at one another. I don't know what sort of expression I was wearing - a look of fear, stubbornness, agony, or maybe some sort of demented combination of all three. But still Misato's face didn't so much as budge.
She pushed forward with the tiniest force, and I slumped backwards onto the ground.
-----
"Toramaru-san!"
A voice from the bushes. Ichirin emerged from her hiding spot, jumping between me and Misato. She was shivering uncontrollably, but who could blame her? She'd just witnessed the shrine maiden tear me apart, almost literally.
"S-Stay back! I...I'll fight you!"
Unzan was murmuring in her ear. Even without hearing it, his expression made it clear that his advice was to run. She had no hope of holding the miko off, so all her sacrifice would achieve was more needless bloodshed.
Misato was unimpressed. She looked back to the mob she'd assembled, expecting them to run up the stairs and charge at the temple any second now.
Their enthusiasm was curbed by an anchor landing inches from the front of the crowd.
"Alright, kiddies, turn around and go back home. Captain's orders."
Murasa leapt out from behind cover as well, standing in front of the gang to stop them swarming inside. They stepped back down the stairway, cowering again at the sight of another threat.
Misato dealt with this new development like she always did - with an unimpressed sigh. She stared Ichirin down.
"Do I need to make an example of you as well?"
The gohei came out again, pointing straight at Ichirin's neck. The hooded youkai was still trembling, but her legs just about held her up. She must have wanted to respond, but the words couldn't come out.
"Look at ya, picking on a girl who just wants to protect her friend. Some great shrine maiden you are, kid."
I couldn't help but smirk at that one. Only Murasa would think that now was a good time to insult the girl who could singlehandedly take each and every one of us apart. The first hints of frustration started to appear on Misato's face.
There was a dead silence. Everyone's eyes were on Misato, waiting for her to make the first move. She could leap towards Ichirin, attack her in an instant and take her down before Unzan could defend her, or with a quick 180-degree turn she could take Murasa out. Even if the ghost's physical body was just a shell, there was no doubt the miko would be carrying exorcising amulets of some form. Either way, it was just a matter of who she attacked first.
The answer turned out to be neither, as the door to the temple slowly opened.
"I believe I am the one you are looking for."
Everyone's eyes turned to the doorway. Even I managed to tilt my head around far enough to catch a sight of it.
Standing there proudly, without a hint of resistance, was Byakuren Hijiri.
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A new and interesting development! Thank you a lot! I love your BA Murasa
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wait,White Rose get's updated?
Also, great chapter. Short, but nicely filled.
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A sizable update for once! And I might even wrap this arc up tonight!
Please don't hold me to that. ;_;
-----
I don't know what was worse. The fact that this was happening, or the fact that there was nothing I could do about it.
"Hijiri...what are you doing...?"
I must have looked pathetic, trying with all my might to get to my feet and falling uselessly back onto the floor. My grip kept slipping thanks to a pool of my own blood - a reminder that life's strongest cruelties were in its ironies.
"The hell is wrong with you?"
"Hijiri, it's dangerous out here! We'll...we'll buy you time!"
Unlike me, Ichirin and Murasa were still ready to fight at a moment's notice, even if they were well aware that they were outmatched. Misato ignored them entirely, focusing only on the target she was called upon to take care of.
"Is this a trap? The demonic witch I've been ordered to exterminate would never give herself up so easily."
"Then I'm afraid you've been misled, child. I am not so selfish as to let these innocents die in my name."
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't move.
Don't you dare move.
I just took the beating of a lifetime to protect you. You are not giving yourself up when everyone here is willing to fight to the death to keep you safe.
Don't. Don't-
"H-Hijiri! Stop it!"
Ichirin suddenly found herself turning a 180 - rather than blocking Misato from reaching Byakuren, she was stopping Byakuren from reaching Misato. She stood firm in front of the monk, set to hold her back by force if necessary.
Byakuren simply took her by the shoulder and nudged her out of the way, as if Ichirin was offering no resistance at all.
"Ichirin. What sort of example would I be to save you, then ask you to die in my name? I am no zealot, and I will not flee with your blood on my hands."
"Cut the shit!"
Murasa was next to interpose herself, wielding her usual makeshift weapon. If it was going to take an anchor over the head to get her to see sense, then that was what Murasa was going to give her.
"Are you braindead or something?! Think of all the youkai you could save if you get out of here right now. Their blood is gonna be on your hands instead if you just let things end now!"
She pulled the anchor back, ready to take a full swing. It would hit with enough force to knock a human's head clean off, but Byakuren was no ordinary human. No point in holding back.
But.
"...You're not listening to me. Listen to me, dammit!"
In the crucial moment, the one moment where she had an opening to make her strike, Murasa hesitated. There was a tiny voice in her head reminding her of what Byakuren had done for her - that one night, years ago, on the stormy seas. The night where she finally got a second chance and received what she'd been looking for her entire life.
She couldn't hurt someone like that. Captains have standards, after all.
"Murasa...you act stubborn, but sometimes I wish you would just accept that there's still a little girl in there who needs some attention as well."
Byakuren continued to walk straight towards Murasa, literally phasing through her. By the time Murasa's brain had clicked back on again, it was already over.
"...Shit. SHIIIIIIIT!"
There was no point in trying again. Hell, there had been no point in trying in the first place. Byakuren could have outpowered the three of us with a finger if she felt like it. If she wanted to hand herself over, she would do it whether we liked it or not.
But that wouldn't stop us from trying. Not even if we were battered and bruised. Not even if it was a challenge just to stay conscious. Not even if all we could offer in resistance was a hand clasped around her ankle and a choked plea.
"...Run..."
Byakuren did not jerk to a halt - she had been standing still when I grabbed at her leg. She knew full well I was going to try and stop her, and she looked down at me with a calming smile.
"I hope you aren't too inconvenienced by your new promotion. You should be able to run the temple in my stead, right?"
I wanted to scream, but my body was too battered to managed it. All that came out of my mouth was a choked sob as she effortlessly released herself from my grip, finally meeting Misato face-to-face. The shrine maiden's expression remained firm in face of these events, which was more than could be said of anyone else.
"If this is all some sort of trick, I have to say that you've tought these youkai to act pretty well."
"Don't give them credit where it isn't due. Shou in particular wears her heart on her sleeve."
Why are you kidding around now? Do you realise what she's going to do to you? Even if you can't die, she'll just banish you to some unseen corner of the cosmos forever. At its best, you'll be alone; at its worst, you'll be in agony for the rest of time.
So why? Why are you still smiling?
There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn't have the strength left for any of it. By now she had disregarded us entirely, simply giving the shrine maiden a long hard look. For a minute, everyone gathered watched on in total silence.
Misato clicked her fingers.
"Bring it up from down there."
As the order was given, the crowd behind Misato murmured amongst themselves. They shuffled around, and eventually I could make out a bag being carried from the end of the crowd. It was large, and from the way grown men were struggling with it it was heavy as well, but when the delivery finally reached Misato she took it in one hand without a second thought.
"This sort of ritual is complicated, I'll have you know. I needed to make some special arrangements to set this up, so feel complimented you took up so much of my time."
"Certainly, Lady Hakurei."
I could see a hint of irritation flicker on Misato's face at that comment. I'd have taken a mental note to compliment her like that more often if my body wasn't busy putting itself back together.
Misato dropped the bag, allowing some of its contents to slip out. A single wooden block landed at Byakuren's feet. Her eyes widened.
"I assume I don't need to tell you what these are?"
She looked down at the fallen blocks with an expression of amazement. She reached down and picked one up, pressing it lightly. It was as immaculate as the day it was cut.
"Incredible...I didn't even realise so much of the Tobikura survived."
"Myouren Hijiri was a great monk. Simple preservation magic wouldn't have been a problem for him."
The Tobikura...? That was her brother's ship, wasn't it? The one she was riding when...
"Even in death, it still stays spotless. Gotta admit, that's pretty impressive."
This time, Byakuren had no response. Her smile wavered slightly. Misato had picked a sensitive topic, and I was already primed to see her rub the guilt into Byakuren's face. I was convinced now, more than anything, that Misato wanted to see her foe hurt in every way she could manage.
Except...she didn't. Rather than take her time to give Byakuren the guilttrip from her, to send her away from us a gibbering, self-hating wreck, she simply moved on and gave the topic no further thought.
I was confused. Was that...mercy?
"Anyway. I'm not going to explain this to you in painstaking detail, but these blocks are gonna serve as the catalyst. I don't suppose you have any last words?"
"You have no intention of honouring them, so I see no point in talking."
"Heh. Guess you understand the situation better than I thought."
Misato raised her gohei upwards into the air, murmuring an incantation beneath her breath. A circle of light emerged around Byakuren, and an army of chains sprung out from its edges, wrapping themselves around her. These were chains that no amount of physical strength could break, so the captive made no attempt to even try.
The shrine maiden reached down to the bag of wooden blocks, touching one of them with her gohei. The block began to glow, taking on the same radiance as the circle, and it lifted itself off into the air, hanging in front of Byakuren's face. The rest of the Tobikura blocks followed, until Byakuren was surrounded by dozens of them.
"Byakuren Hijiri. You have been found guilty of black magic and youkai sympathising. There is only one punishment fitting for a criminal like you."
The blocks began to spin around in the air, rotating around Byakuren slowly to start. As Misato continued the ritual, they began to turn faster, growing brighter all the while.
"You will be imprisoned in the deepest, darkest region of Makai for the rest of eternity, never again to show your face amongst humanity. You will live out your immortality in solitude, and spend every waking moment of your existence praying for a death that will never come."
The light was almost blinding now, and I had to squint to make out what was happening. Misato's face remained frighteningly calm in the midst of it all. I couldn't see Byakuren's expression anymore, but she was still making no attempt to escape her prison.
It was now I thanked Vaisravana for being born a youkai. Maybe I wasn't in full fighting shape, but I was strong enough to stand again. Slowly, I trudged to my feet, still feeling like my innards were set to fall out any minute.
"Hi...Hi-"
""HIJIRI!""
Two bodies dashed past mine, still able to give their all. Ichirin and Murasa had finally grown tired of standing around, waiting in silence for their saviour to disappear. Maybe they couldn't do anything, but they could damn well try.
"Yaaah!"
Murasa wielded her anchor like a maniac, aiming straight for Misato. She was distracted, and this was the only opening she was going to get. Ichirin dived towards Byakuren, trying to push her out of the circle. If that meant she was going to be sealed instead, then so be it.
Both plans failed miserably.
"What the-?!"
Murasa didn't have time to react when it appeared in front of her. By the time she had a clue what was going on, she already had one foot in the dark violet gap.
"Aah!"
Behind her, Ichirin faced a similar fate, with a gap emerging between her and the circle. Unzan, bound to his master by principle, followed her into the abyss with a look of fear on his face.
But there was more.
Perhaps the most frightening part was how silent it was - how I had no idea it was happening until Misato's lynch mob began to let out various gasps of amazement. Turning around, I could see the Palanquin being pulled along the ground by the largest of all the gaps. It must have weighed tonnes, but still the purple tear in the sky drew it in in a matter of seconds. I had to blink a few times to believe it, but the ship had...vanished.
And a few seconds later, so had all the gaps.
"...Ku-Kumoi-san? Captain?!"
It had all happened so quickly that my brain was still playing catchup. One minute they had been there, and the next they were gone. And all the while, Misato hadn't so much as looked away from the ritual.
"Now, let the world be purged of this menace. This earth has no place for youkai and its ilk, and as a Hakurei maiden I sentence you to the bowels of Makai for the rest of your neverending, miserable life."
The blocks were spinning around at an insane velocity now, almost creating a whirlwind around their captive. By now they didn't even look like wodden blocks any more - they were rays of light, tracing some ornate patten in the air above the magic circle.
I couldn't stop it. I couldn't even try. It was taking everything I had just to stand. I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, I felt so powerless. Everything I'd come to care about was being taken from me, and I could only sit and watch.
"Shou."
Amidst the whirring of the spinning blocks, I made out a voice. One that stayed completely calm and relaxed in the face of an unimaginable sentence. Byakuren pulled her head around to give me a final look, smiling.
"Don't hate them, Shou. They're just afraid."
The light began to emanate from her as well, and her features vanished into the sea of white. Misato's eyes widened slightly. The gohei turned, the light roared, the maiden screamed.
"BEGONE."
The flash must have blinded people halfway across the country, as the crowd gave off little yelps of shock. Even when my eyes had come back into focus, I held them shut. I didn't want to look. As long as I didn't look, it was possible I was wrong, and that this was all a trick, and that she wasn't really-
...Oh, who am I kidding? She's gone.
I forced my eyes open. Misato stood in the same place as always, putting her gohei away with a sigh. Byakuren was nowhere to be seen.
Gone.
All of them. Gone. To parts unknown, to never return.
I fell to my knees, clinging to the spear for what little balance I could muster. It took all my will to keep myself from screaming, but the tears poured down my face regardless.
Why? What had we done to deserve this?
"...Alright. Let's go home, everyone. We're done here."
Misato turned to the crowd, ordering them back down the stairway to whatever village they had come from.
No response.
"...What are you doing? I said to get moving."
One of the burlier humans at the front of the crowd raised his hand.
"Woman, you didn't finish the job. There might be more of 'em in that temple."
I couldn't see her face from here, but Misato took a step backwards at that one. Had she not been planning for this?
Wait...that would have meant she was planning for this the whole time. An outcome without anyone having to die. She had been expecting Byakuren to give herself up the whole time.
Don't hate them, Shou. They're just afraid.
"I didn't get hired to deal with servants of Vaisravana. You guys paid me to take out Hijiri, and I did it. I'm going home, and I expect you guys to follow me."
Was that irritation seeping into her voice? This, at least, she must not have planned. The crowd murmured amongst itself, growing louder and louder.
"Bullshit! We can't leave it now, they might come back and attack us again!"
"Yeah! What if they hide some another witch?"
There was aggression building up in the crowd. Misato's gaze shifted between them, trying to pull them away or scare them off, but they were driven by a force that few others could match.
Fear.
"Outta the way, girl! If you're not gonna take care of this, we're gonna do it ourselves!"
The gang grew tired of waiting. They wanted blood, and they were going to quench their thirst whether she liked it or not. They charged forward, madness in their eyes as they turned their fear inside out. They turned it into rage.
Misato was fast enough to avoid the oncoming riot. I, on the other hand, was barely standing after my fight with the shrine maiden. There were dozens of them coming for me, and no-one cared to stop or make their way around me.
So I fell to the floor, and felt a dozen feet slam into me.
No part of my body received mercy. They trod on my face, my chest, my arms, my legs. I was trampled beneath the stampede, feeling muscles tear and bones snap. By the time they had finally made their way past me, I was barely conscious.
Maybe I would die here. When they finished their attack on the temple, they'd come back for me. They were pulling out torches, lighting them at the corners and the walls.
"Smoke 'em out! If they don't come out, let 'em die like rats in there!"
One voice, the newly elected leader of the troupe, issued commands to the crowd. They were burning down the temple. I knew enough of its structure to know it would burn easily - there was enough wood in the roof alone to bring around a collapse. Nothing inside would have a chance of surviving-
Wait.
No.
"N..."
It was a second wind that pulled me to my feet. I had forgotten something.
Someone.
"Na...Nazrin..."
She was still in the temple. She'd been by herself since Byakuren's confession. She had no idea what was going on.
Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod-
"Hey, what?!"
They'd already taken everything else from me. But not her. Not her.
"Watch out! The tiger's coming through!"
They called out in confusion and fear. They must have expected me to tear them apart. But they weren't worth my time.
I ran into the temple, already being quickly engulfed by the flames. The humans looked on in confusion, murmuring amongst themselves again.
"The hell is wrong with her?"
"Eh, if she wants to go out that painfully, I sure as hell don't mind."
"Yeah, look at this place. It'd be like hell on earth inside there."
They waited around for a short while longer, until they were satisfied that the blaze was too violent for anything to escape. Only then did they turn tail and leave, crying anthems of triumph as the morning sun came into full view.
In their minds, they'd managed a great victory - they'd banished a witch and slaughtered her subjects. It wasn't their job to care about the damage they'd done of who had to pick up the pieces.
After all, history was written by the winners.
-----
"Nazrin!"
It was even faster than I had thought. The roof was starting to give in, dropping burning planks onto the floor and spreading the flames further still. I could barely make out the structure anymore - I had to rely on my memory alone to guide me.
"Nazrin, where are you?! Nazr-"
My throat burned, and I hacked out a cough. The smoke was spreading. There wasn't much time left.
"Nazrin...come on! Get out of here!"
No response. Was I...? No. No, I couldn't be. Not after everything. They couldn't take everything from me. That was just too cruel, too wrong. It couldn't happen. I had to keep going. I had to save her.
"Naz-kh..."
But adrenaline could only push me so far. The pain was flaring up again, and my burst of speed had worn off. The smoke was coming lower. I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe.
I fell to my knees, grabbing at my chest. I was getting faint, and every inch of my body was aching from something. After everything that had happened, I had finally reached my limit.
Everything's...getting dark...
My vision started to waver. I looked upwards, feeling hazy, ready for the pain to end. The statue of Vaisravana looked back down on me, with the same severe expression that had earned my adoration so long ago.
Vaisravana-sama...I...screwed up...
The last ounces of strength I had left me, and I crumpled to the floor face down. Around me, the temple continued to burn as my mind drifted off into oblivion.
Nazrin...I'm...sorry...
-
Well. This is definitely a "Dammit Yukari" moment.
-
It's been hours. I need to stop.
I shudder. I hold the tears back. Not cold. But angry.
I trusted Hijiri. Thought she cared. Thought she was looking out for me. And now it turns out she was just interested in herself.
The bitch.
Maybe she can't die. But I'm pretty sure I can still make her hurt. Let the mice nibble at her for a few hours. See if she's still feeling so high-and-mighty after that.
...Wait, no. That's not what I mean. Dammit, I need to calm down.
I was happy. When it was just me, and Shou, and Hijiri. Not much happened. We spent our time doing stupid things. Pointless things. Talking about useless subjects.
But it was wonderful. I loved it.
Now they've pulled the carpet out from under my feet. Pulled the wool off of my eyes and told me I was living in a lie. From a well-meaning servant to another pawn in Hijiri's game of immortality.
Of course I'm going to be mad.
At the same time...Hijiri's the reason I have a life at all. The scars from the fire still ache now and then. I've learned to deal with it. If she hadn't taken me in then, I'd have died with everyone else.
Everyone else.
No, I don't want to think about this. I don't want to see them again. Not like that. Not seeing some of them scream as their bodies burn. Others gasping for air as smoke filled their lungs. Others still unable to see, falling from the shelves to a sudden stop ten feet down.
But I'm there again. It feels so real. I can hear the crackling of the fire. The smell of distant smoke. Even the heat on my face. It's never felt this real before.
I stare lazily at the roof, lost in memory. The fire plays itself out in my mind. More shuddering. Not angry. But afraid.
It isn't the pain that scares me. Not the threat of death.
I don't want to be alone.
"Nazrin!"
I snap out of the trance. I'm confused. I'm sure I'm in the present, but I can still hear the fire blazing on. It's almost like the temple is-
Aah.
Aaaaah...
"Nazrin, where are you?! Nazr-"
Shou's voice again. Calling for me. I hear her choke on the smoke. She's looking for me. She could run, but she's looking for me.
I can't move.
Not again. I can't deal with it again. I don't want to remember, keep it away, crumple it up into a ball and throw it into some forgotten corner and let it die. Maybe it's coming closer, but it hasn't reached this room yet. I can ignore it for a little while longer if I stay in here.
"Nazrin...come on! Get out of here!"
Any other way. Any other way. Please. Stab me, slit my throat, drown me, freeze me, shoot me, strike me down with a plague. Anything.
Not fire. Not the fire.
Not just for my sake. Shou is looking for me. From here I can tell the fire is running rampant. If she doesn't leave now, she'll die. She can't expect me to come out.
Please, Shou. Don't be an idiot. Get out now. You can't make it. I don't want you to die because I'm a coward.
"Naz-kh..."
The choking sounds get louder. The shouting stops. The footsteps stop.
This isn't happening. It's a nightmare. I fell asleep and I'm going to wake up in a few minutes and Shou will be there to tell me things are fine.
A plank from the roof collapses. Lands on my arm. Helpfully reminds me that I'm awake.
The plank lands on the floor, flickering. The ground catches alight.
It's here.
In the distance, Shou hits the floor.
I'm frozen in place. Staring at the flame as it runs along the floor. I had hoped my memories just made it look fast than it was. But no, it's as potent as I remember.
What do I do? I can't go out there. It's worse out there, I'll burn and choke and die like Shou did.
...Like Shou did?
Wait.
Shou. She's dying. She isn't dead. I can save her.
But I have to face the fire. I stare at it again, my entire body shivering. Can I do this?
No. Wrong wording. I have to do this. I'm scared. But the fear of losing Shou is worse than the fear of the fire.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Keep low, that's where the air is. Get ready to charge and run straight out. Find Shou, carry her out, get away.
Ready? No. But go anyway.
I break down the door, and step out into hell.
Everything is burning. There are only two colours - the blood red flame and the ash-grey smoke. The fire licks at my body, singes my clothes. I've never run this fast before. I need to get out.
I enter the main hall. Vaisravana stands tall as his kingdom crumbles around him.
There she is. Oh, god, she isn't moving. Quick, Nazrin, up on one shoulder. She's heavy, but there's no time to complain.
All that air I stored up before is running thin. I want to breathe, but there's only smoke around me now. Just a little longer, that's all I need. A few more paces and-
"Ahk-!"
Dammit, that's not what I need right now. Follow orders, you lousy pair of lungs. If I tell you not to breathe, you don't breathe. Smoke is hardly going to do you any good.
Shit, that hurts. But it's not far. Deal with it. Keep going, keep going, and-
"Haah, haah, haah...!"
Two for two. I don't have time for celebrations. Too busy gasping for air for that.
Shou.
I lay her down on the ground. She's clear of the temple. I don't care if anyone's nearby, she needs help now.
Please have a pulse. Let me feel something when I press against your neck.
Nothing.
...Aah.
"Press down on her chest where her heart is. Pump it for her."
A voice. Offering help. Don't care who it is. Need to follow their instructions.
One, two, three. Can't be subtle here. Need to be forceful. Might crack a rib, but better alive and hurting than dead.
Eight, nine, ten. Anything? No. Shit.
"That's enough. Give her mouth-to-mouth, her brain needs air badly."
Her lips are cold. Flaccid. Blue. They weren't like this last time.
God, what I would give for last time. That night when I'd sworn to risk everything on her. I gave her my heart that night.
And now she's about to die with it.
"Nothing? Keep trying."
Dammit, this isn't happening. One, two, three...
What happened, Shou? You promised. You promised we'd stay together. You can't leave me now.
More air. Check for pulse. Still nothing.
Come on, Shou. Don't do this to me. You can't go on without me.
Everyone else is gone, aren't they? You were the only one left. The only one who tried to save me. If you leave, I'll be alone again.
You can't make me go through that again. I need you, Shou. I love you.
So please. I'm begging you. Don't die.
...Eight, nine, ten...nothing.
Goddammit, Shou. You can't let this happen. Don't you dare die on me. I'll crawl through the netherworld and curse your name if you leave me here.
Say something. Come on, Shou. Act like an idiot, do something stupid. Forget how to use a spoon, trip up, say something that makes no sense. I don't care what you do. Stand up and slap me in the face if you want to. I don't care. Just do something.
Wake up, Shou.
Wake up.
Please...please...please...
-----
"...up..."
Everything hurt. I felt wretched. There was a part of me that wanted to curl up and die. I could hear it whispering in my ear.
Give up. You've done enough.
Its words were so soothing, so calming. I wanted to give in to it. I had suffered long enough. Surely I had earned this peace by now.
"...ke up..."
That voice. It sounded familiar, but I couldn't put a face to it. No matter, I would be gone soon. I would just ignore it.
"...wake up..."
Be quiet. I'm trying to die here. Do you know what I went through? I was beaten to a pulp, trampled on, and threw myself into an inferno to try and save-
Nazrin.
"Shou, wake up already. This isn't funny anymore."
What was I doing? How could I be so selfish to try and leave her behind to face that nightmare? To live on without anyone else she knew? I promised her, didn't I? I said I'd stay with her, I'd never let her down.
How shameful.
...What are you doing? Why are you fighting me?
The voice was getting quieter. I was rejecting it. The pain grew stronger again, but I didn't care. I could deal with it, and it would hurt worse if I left her behind.
It was getting brighter again. The world was coming back. Or rather, I was going back to the world.
You can't do this! You can't put yourself through that again!
...Shut up. I'm not weak enough to put my desires above hers like that!
I directed my anger at that voice, at that weaker side of me. The emotion was pulling me out of the void, back into the world I knew.
THAT'S NOT JUSTICE!
-----
"Shou, wa-"
I came back not with a bang, but with a choked whimper. My first instinct was to cough my lungs out, and the next few to follow were more or less the same. Nazrin was taken aback for a moment by my violent reaction, but soon afterward she was wrapping her arms around me.
"Shou...Shou...! You're...aaaah..."
She'd been through so much, and at last she'd reached her limit. The emotions were welling out of her, and she held me upright with tears flowing from her eyes. I'd never seen her so overjoyed before.
"Y-You idiot...You're so selfish..."
She spat out a complaint, desperately trying to maintain face, but the facade had come down. My arms almost creaked as I raised them, but I managed to wrap them around her eventually.
"Hah...sorry...for making you worry like that..."
That just make her tear up harder, squeezing at me. It hurt, but it wasn't like a little more pain was going to make me collapse any more. I looked straight into Nazrin's eyes, and none of the physical pain mattered. It didn't even matter that we'd lost everything.
I still had her. She still had me. We'd get by.
...Huh? Is that...?
My eyes glanced over to Nazrin's side. A figure stood in the distance, at the stairway back down, looking on as the temple crumpled.
Misato?
She was looking at me, I realised - and this time, her eyes were filled with guilt. Her lips silently mouthed a word out in my direction.
"Sorry."
With that, she turned around and made her way down the stairs, leaving us to pick up the pieces. Had she...helped?
"Nnn..."
Now wasn't the time. My body was begging for a rest now, and I felt my eyes start to close again. I'd need a few hours to recover from this, even as a youkai.
The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes and fell asleep was the sun rising in the sky. The morning had come.
And the stars were nowhere to be seen.
-----
It was a screwed up job.
Misato Hakurei could only mutter to herself on the stairway back down. She hadn't expected them to lash out like that - the plan had been to cause as few casualties as possible while taking care of Hijiri. She'd followed the orders she'd been given, used the right ritual, but she hadn't been ready for the crowd to go haywire.
Thank god the mouse had been willing to follow orders. If the tiger had died, it would have been hung on her conscience for who knows how long.
"Still beating yourself up?"
There she was. Took her long enough to show up. She needed to have a good talk with her about all of this.
"Don't give me the boundary act, Yukari. Just talk to me face-to-face for a change."
"You really are feeling bad about this, aren't you? A frown doesn't suit that face of yours, you know."
Another of the purple gaps appeared in front of Misato. This time, rather than taking someone in, someone stepped out of it - a young woman with long blonde hair in a long violet dress. She twirled a parasol around in one hand, appearing rather spry against the solemn expression of Misato.
"What did you do to them? Where are they?"
"Oh, around."
"This isn't the time for games, you old hag. Just answer the question for a change."
Yukari pouted.
"Your mother would be ashamed if she heard you call me that. She treated me with the utmost respect. Kids these days-"
"You're stalling again."
A moment of silence. Yukari finally accepted that now was not the time for playing around, and her face grew deadly serious.
"They've been sealed away beneath the ground. They'll sleep for a good few centuries, most likely."
"And then what?"
"I have plans for them."
Misato sighed. That was how Yukari answered every question like that, and she knew full well that she would get no more out of her than that.
"...Misato-chan. You did all you could."
Misato sat down on the stairway, placing her head on her knees.
"I know, I know. But still...it just seems so unfair on all of them."
No-one was looking now. Misato allowed herself a single tear down her face. What she'd done was unfair and horrible, but it was the lesser of two evils. Humanity was afraid of youkai, and if no-one made a show of stopping them the fear would drive them to madness.
"There...there has to be a better way than this. Come on, Yukari, you have to have an idea."
Yukari was silent, looking away for a moment in thought. Her face remained severe.
"...There is one possibility, but it's rather absurd."
"Absurd, but not impossible, right?"
Yukari pouted.
"No, but it would be slow. To prepare it would take centuries of effort on your part, and on the part of your descendents. It would be a duty I asked not just of you, but of the entire Hakurei line."
Misato inhaled deeply. Yukari was toying with her again, and she knew it. The youkai knew she had no intention of refusing - not after a travesty like that. She had been biding her time, waiting for just the right moment to ask this of her.
But it was hardly new. Getting used by Yukari was as common an occurance for her as blinking. Maybe as well get hooked on the big one now and get it over with.
"...Well, if it won't be finished by the time I pass on, then I don't get to take the blame when it's finished. What's the plan?"
Yukari's face lit up immediately. Misato wasn't sure if she was a serious youkai putting on a masquerade of cheerfulness, or a cheerful youkai pretending to be severe. She'd long since given up on figuring it out.
"Oh, excellent! I've always wanted to make my own country!"
Misato raised an eyebrow.
"Country?"
"Well, if the youkai can live amongst themselves, then there's no need for the humans to persecute them, right?"
"...It can't be that simple. If humans found out about a nation of youkai, wouldn't they just invade?"
"See, that's where you come in, Misato-chan! It'll take a long time to get the magical power together, but if we put enough time into it we can put up a boundary between it and the outside world!"
Misato took a moment to think it over. She began to nod in approval.
"Heh. I gotta admit, that's pretty damn clever."
"I know, right! And we can call it Yakumoland!"
Silence.
"...Yakumoland?"
"Well, Hakureiland isn't quite as catchy."
"Both those names are terrible! If you're gonna make me devote my life to this, at least let me give it a name that isn't as bad as that!"
Yukari flinched, pouting childishly.
"Fine...Misato-chan, you're mean."
"You're welcome."
Misato smirked slightly at the sight of Yukari cowering. It was fake, yes, but it was as close as she was going to get.
"...Alright, I've decided."
Misato stood up again, feeling a new wave of hope rising up in her. This was a chance to end this sort of tragedy. Maybe it'd take a lot of effort on her part, and on the part of her children, but it would be worth it to save youkai from a fate like that.
"This country you're proposing...it'll be a land that the world thinks doesn't exist. They'll think it's an illusion, right? So there's only one fitting name for it."
Yukari looked on, paying close attention to Misato's words and clapping childishly when she saw where the shrine maiden was coming from.
"Ooh, I like it! You have good taste, Misato-chan!"
"Drop the chan, already."
"Aw..."
Misato started making her way down the stairs again, a newfound spring in her step. This was the start of a new era in her life. Maybe a new era for the whole world, if she succeeded.
"No complaints, then?"
"None at all."
"Good. I wouldn't have listened to you, anyway."
Back to the shrine for now, Misato thought. This was going to take a lot of work, but the nation had already been born in her heart. That image would drive her on for the rest of her life, and she would tell stories of it to her daughter to continue the dream.
Gensokyo had been born.
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Hopefully that makes up for the pace of my updates until now. =_=
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You know, for a while I forgot why I love your stories so much. Thanks for reminding me.
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Hoho~ Can't wait to see what happens next.
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That's it, I think. That does seem like an ending. And what a nice ending it is.
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I'm undecided over whether to end it here. On one hand, there's a lot more ground to cover between this and UFO; on the other hand, I'm not sure if there'll be any action comparable to this. I'll leave it to public vote whether or not to let this be the end of Rising Star. I figure I've taken this thing pretty far already, and if people figure this is the right place for it to end I'll let it end.
So yeah. Is it time to call this a wrap, would you think?
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It might be best to end it here as it was originally an origin story of the UFO cast and Shou correct? If you aren't planning to continue, then its probably best to end it here. There is also the fact that you started that other fic as well a couple days ago, so you would have more time to contribute to that if you ended this now.
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It might be best to end it here as it was originally an origin story of the UFO cast and Shou correct? If you aren't planning to continue, then its probably best to end it here. There is also the fact that you started that other fic as well a couple days ago, so you would have more time to contribute to that if you ended this now.
I had been intending to follow Shou and Nazrin up until the reunion, but it'd be little to discuss over a quite lengthy period of in-universe time. I'm considering whether or not this stands up better as an ending, so I'll leave it to public opinion.
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I have passed my ideas to you on IRC. Use them however you will. :3
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Go with whatever you think is best :) I would like it to continue, but if you end it here, I won't complain.
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Epilogue
I missed the days when my room had a roof. It made it easier to sleep in.
"Nnngh..."
The sun was glaring down on me. There almost seemed to be a face on it, staring straight into my eyes and muttering 'Get up, it's morning'. I'd stare back at it, but I appreciated my eyesight.
And I appreciated sleep a whole lot more.
"Oh, forget it...the day can wait a little longer."
I rolled around in bed, burying my face in the futon. A few more minutes were hardly going to kill me.
After the dowsing rod jabbed itself into my back, it became obvious that there were forces more powerful than the sun calling on me to wake up.
"Ow! Alright, Nazrin, I'm getting up..."
Nazrin continued poking at me as I scrambled to my feet. This was more or less our morning routine now - Nazrin got up at the crack of dawn, and made sure I woke up alongside her. Breakfast was the first order of the day (thank Vaisravana so much of the kitchen was still standing), and after that we found ourselves engaging in our daily training.
It was a different style of training from the ones we had practiced before, though - one that was, by our standards, relatively new. But lots of new things were happening nowadays.
This was Gensokyo, after all. Incidents came and ended along with the seasons, more or less. We were more or less in the aftermath of some weird underground geysers popping up, and no-one above the surface really knew what had happened down there. The tengu would put out a news report soon enough, but that had to be taken with a metric tonne of salt.
I'd heard the stories about the Hakurei family suddenly falling out of the spotlight, secluding themselves to their dusty temple in the distance. I had wondered why for years, but eventually the thought slipped my mind as I continued with my daily life. Even without a temple to preach in, a servant of Vaisravana had duties to follow.
Then the Hakurei Border came into being. The priestess of the generation, Chihiro Hakurei, claimed that it was a precaution to 'keep youkai from doing any more damage to humanity', and that she would serve as its police force if anyone tried to disturb the peace.
I didn't believe her for a second. I saw her ancestor's expression as the temple of Vaisravana burned. The Hakurei family had never approved of the brutality that mankind had shown to youkai - while there were definitely feral beasts among us, culling entire races for the crimes of one or two individuals was a disgrace.
I would have thanked her, but she would never have remembered me. Humans were a strange race in that way, so unique and yet so fleeting.
If only you could see this now, Hijiri.
She would have loved this place, wouldn't she? A world where youkai could exist in peace, without the constant fear of persecution that drove their lives beyond the border. It would have been wonderful if she could see it. Ichirin, and Murasa too.
Every so often, I'd stop to think about it. To think about everything I'd lost in that fire. My friends, my home, my idol. I'd tear up over it, bring myself almost to the verge of tears.
Invariably, that would be the moment when Nazrin put a hand on my shoulder and reminded me that I hadn't lost everything. As long as I had her, I would get by.
So the two of us made a simple existence together, surviving in the ruins of our old temple. The last few years had been devoted to a new sort of training - for a method of battle that had only existed for a few years now.
"Hide wherever you want, but you won't escape this rod of mine!
Search Sign [Gold Detector]!"
Nazrin held a simple paper card in the air dramatically, and a flurry of golden bullets emerged from within. They flew around in random directions, with the intent being that one of them would be fortunate enough to hit me. They weren't a problem.
The green lasers that followed, though, definitely were.
"Gh-!"
My sidestep had earned me too much momentum, and before I could stop myself I had jumped straight into the path of one of the golden bullets. This was where I was supposed to unleash a counterspell and fight back with my own danmaku pattern.
Instead, I simply let the bullet slam into my chest. This was the same weapon that had 'killed' Murasa the first time I had met her. But things were different now.
The bullet let off a dramatic and colourful array of fireworks as it collided with me. It propelled me backwards and sent me to the floor, but compared to what Murasa had went through it was totally harmless. It was merely an aesthetic system, designed to reveal that Nazrin was the winner of what was known as a spellcard duel. It was another rule that stopped humans being victimised by youkai - and as such, it meant there was no ill will against youkai on the part of Gensokyo's small human populace.
"What was that? You had plenty of time to declare a spell, Shou. You had better not be going easy on me."
Uh-oh. I had been hoping to get away from giving an explanation, but if she thought I was going easy on her she'd inevitably want a rematch. Sooner or later the truth was going to come out, so it was probably best to talk now while Nazrin was still relatively calm.
"Uh, yeah...well, there's a story behind that."
Nazrin's ear twitched in curiosity. It was now that she became aware that something in my usual attire was missing.
"Well...remember yesterday, when I took a trip to the Human Village to buy some rice?"
"You dropped it, didn't you."
The jewelled pagoda, the artifact Vaisravana Himself had entrusted me with, was missing.
"...Sort of. I looked around the area I dropped it, but I think it fell into the river..."
I twiddled my thumbs, feeling my self-respect collapse into the negatives. Nazrin looked angry for a moment, but eventually she let out a heaving sigh, looking off into the distance behind me.
"I assume you want me to look for it...?"
"Please and thank you. Oh, and don't let anyone know about this, 'kay?"
Nazrin didn't respond. She just stood in place, paralysed, looking out behind me in awe.
"Nazrin? Are you alright?"
Still nothing. I waved a hand in front of her eyes, clicked my fingers, poked her side. No response. Her mouth slowly opened, and her left hand pointed upwards into the sky.
"Huh? Is there something in the-"
I followed her finger as I spoke, and sure enough what she had witnessed was enough to silence me as well. Something impossible was floating in the air. Something absurd, something that had disappeared centuries ago.
But as impossible as it was, the Palanquin ship sailed through the sky regardless.
"...Nazrin...am I dreaming?"
She poked me in the back with her rod again, smirking with a hint of nostalgia as I flinched.
"Guess not."
The ship felt like it took an eternity to land, but in actuality it couldn't have been more than two minutes. The ramp on the deck slowly lowered itself until it reached the ground.
All of it impossible.
And the two people to emerge from within?
"K...Kumoi-san! Captain Minamitsu!"
"It's Captain Murasa, goddammit! Now get up here and give me a hug!"
Well, they were impossible as well.
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The worst part about seeing those two disappear had been having no idea where they were or if they were even still alive. Imagine my relief to find out that they'd simply been buried underground nearby along with the Palanquin, only to be pulled out of their sleep by one of the geysers the latest incident had brought around.
I thought for a moment if this might all have been the work of some omniscient youkai, planning things behind the scenes for the best possible ending.
Poke.
"Shou, you're daydreaming again. Not when we have guests."
"Ah, sorry, Nazrin. Thinking of something ridiculous."
This was the second time we'd taken in Murasa and Ichirin as guests, though this time space was much harder to come across given that we only had half a temple left. Eventually we managed to find somewhere to place a table and sit together as a group in the main hall, amidst the collapsed roof and destroyed statue of Vaisravana.
We exchanged silly trivialities. We told them about Gensokyo, about all the new youkai who'd emerged since, about the spellcard system that had been invoked in their absence. I tried to ask them what they'd been doing since we last met. They hadn't been doing anything, they'd been 'buried underground goddammit why are you asking silly questions get me a drink'. They asked the same question of us, and Nazrin and I honestly couldn't come up with a single interesting incident that had happened since...
"...since the attack."
Mentioning that was enough to kill the atmosphere entirely. Nazrin and I stared down at our cups of tea. Ichirin looked awkwardly at Unzan, while Murasa just chugged her drink and slammed the cup into the floor.
Maybe ghosts didn't have a concept of heat. I certainly wouldn't have been able to down a cup of tea in one shot like that without scalding my throat.
"Toramaru-san...can I ask you a question?"
Ichirin seemed nervous as she spoke up, afraid she was about to ask something absurd.
"That ritual the Hakurei maiden performed. Did you recognise it?"
I felt my body shiver a little at the question. It wasn't because I didn't know the answer - I had done my research since, and I knew what Misato had done - but because I knew she wasn't going to like it.
"...Well. I looked into it, and the ritual is apparently known as the Trial of the Makai Butterfly, a ritual designed to punish those who flirt with immortality. Basically, what it does is it traps the target in their own little prison in Hokkai, Makai's farthest outskirts. They're trapped there for the rest of eternity to contemplate their mista-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. We need you to answer something, though."
Murasa cut my sentence short, glaring across at me from the other side of the table. Determination was blazing in her eyes with absurd intensity.
"This ritual. Can you reverse it? Can we bring Hijiri back?"
This was what I hadn't wanted her to ask. I felt my heart sink before I'd even started to talk.
"Well...the ritual needs an item that has emotional value to the subject in order to work. That's why Misato collected the remains of the Tobikura. If we were to collect those pieces and take them to Hokkai, I could use the pagoda to release the seal..."
I hung my head, feeling more powerless than ever as I had to admit the downside in this plan.
"...But that's the problem. The Tobikura fragments would have been scattered after the ritual. They could be anywhere across the world, at any point, in any form. They might even be outside of Gensokyo now. So...it's impossible."
Silence. I didn't have the nerve to look either of them in the eye after saying something like that - they'd come to me looking for hope, and I'd shot them down completely.
It took Nazrin poking me in the side to build up the nerve to look again. I opened my eyes, expecting to meet a pair of distraught faces.
Instead, Ichirin was looking at me with something resembling elation, and Murasa was as cocky as she had been when she asked the question in the first place.
"See, tiger, that's the strangest thing. 'Cause we found a few things floating in the sky on the way over, and they seemed awfully familiar."
My heart skipped a beat. Murasa reached down into a pocket on her shorts, pulling something out.
It couldn't be. Could it? It was absurd, almost impossible.
But I'd already been through enough impossible today. A little more on top shouldn't have been that shocking to me.
"That's...!"
Murasa placed a single piece of the Tobikura on the table, slamming it down dramatically like a decisive move in a game of Go.
"Alright, kiddies, don't get too excited. There are still plenty of these out there for us to find before we can celebrate."
Nazrin and I stared at it in awe for a few seconds, and before we knew it we were wearing the same silly faces as they were. Ichirin turned to Nazrin with a new look of hope on her face.
"Nazrin-san. You'll help us find all of these, won't you?"
Nazrin didn't even take an instant to think it over, nodding as fast as her neck would let her. I motioned towards her as well, a silent reminder of 'you'll need to find the pagoda as well'. She did her best to contain a sigh, which for Nazrin wasn't very well at all.
Murasa's attention turned to me.
"Well, tiger? You're in, right?"
She stretched a hand out towards me, beckoning me to shake it in agreement. I took a second to stare at it, at that outstretched, ghostly hand, and comprehend exactly what it represented.
It was a chance to set right a mistake that had been made hundreds of years ago. An opportunity to save an innocent woman from unfair imprisonment. A chance to pay back a debt from centuries past.
It was something I would have asked for only in my wildest dreams. I had dismissed it as impossible - I didn't have the means to find the fragments, assuming I even could find them. But in the space of two minutes, my life had turned itself on its head.
That happened a lot to me, in retrospect.
"...Well, I was planning to spend today taking a relaxing walk by the riverside, but I think that sounds a lot more interesting."
I clasped Murasa's hand firmly, almost expecting to slip through it rather than actually shake it. Had I been waiting for this moment, silently praying to Vaisravana for a chance to make up for my mistakes and to set free the woman who had given me everything I valued in life?
Perhaps.
Well, if so, he'd certainly been listening.
"Alright, Captain. Next stop, Hokkai!"
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A lot of humans assume by default that youkai are extremely intelligent. That they have the brain to go along with their brawn, and that they're capable of useful, witty conversation.
But going on a quest across dimensions to save an imprisoned friend? For some reason, no-one ever seems to think we're capable of that. They think that even the smartest among us are doomed to live every day in just about the same manner, never doing anything revolutionary. A happy enough existence, if a rather dull one.
We're going to prove them wrong. Makai won't stop us. Hokkai won't stop us. Nothing will stop us. This is a rescue that's been 700 years in the making, and we aren't going to let anything get in our way now.
Hijiri...just hang on a little while longer. We're coming for you.
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RISING STAR
FIN
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Over 63000 words. Literally longer than various novels. Six months of on-and-off writing. The most complicated and thorough piece of fiction I've ever written, and possibly the longest I'll ever write.
And to think it started as an experiment in writing the first-person POV.
Thanks to everyone who's commented and contributed. Until next time.
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Honestly, happiest ending to a story I have gotten in a while, bravo!
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I am very proud of you, Rou. Well done.
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1. Copy text.
2. Make a book.
3. ???
4. Profit!!!
5. Sued by ZUN.
forbidden 5th panel ftw
This was great. There's nothing more to say.
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Even when I know there's gonna be a happy ending (well because I played UFO, so I know
everyone comes back and they live happily ever after in their temple
), you still managed to make me feel all sorts of emotions throughout the story. I love Misato btw.
Be right back, rereading the entire thing :D :D :D
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rereading the entire thing :D :D :D
You are a genies for that.
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I do say you wrapped that up quite nicely.
This was a great fic.
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And a fine ending to wrap everything up. I'll have to make note of this for my own work.
Though seriously Shou, would it be too hard to fix the roof in a century or two?
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I 'd'aaaawwwwww'd at Murasa and Ichirin's return.