Warning: Fanon Yuuka. So yes, she's the crazy, murderous version of our favorite sunflower-loving youkai from the border of dreams and reality. And yes, she will be a disgusting pervert when it comes to some situations with Flandre (so moe~). PLEASE DON'T ARREST US (Also, Fanon Flandre as well. Hell, there's a lot of fanon in here, we'll be directly contradicting a lot of stuff in the expanded universe and some ORIGINAL LOKASHUNS. May not be your thing.)
Warning: this story inhales a load of crack after the first chapter, resulting in a shitton of out-of-place cameos , thinly veiled totally-not-crossovers... and relationships. If you're not big on that, you probably should stop reading after the first chapter. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Thanks to Hazuki for starting a touhou hijack lololol in the TVTropes IRC channel and getting me (us, rather) churn this... thing ...out of an impromptu RP, and for helping to tighten up the writing. Yes, there's a reason why there's a quality drop halfway through (because she didn't finish rewriting it :<). Yes, there will be more chapters based on the ongoing RP. No, you probably can't join. Deal with it.
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Neither Yuuka nor Flandre would be able to tell you how it ended up being like this. If you were very lucky (and still breathing), Yuuka would confess she had traveled to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, looking for a fight with the fabled ?Sister of the Devil?. Most people don't ask anything else further than that, since it's rather personal and having one's kidneys yanked out through the trachea often offends.
It went like this:
Picture Flandre, split into four, lazily floating around the high, arched basement and wondering which one of her was "real" and controlling the others. It made her head - all four of them - hurt to think about too much, but she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Very possibly, she thought, none of the four was the real Flandre, and that being the case, she didn't really care for any of them that much. Maybe she should kyuu them, she thought (and then there would be none?). Her brain(s) spun madly as four pairs of eyes took in the basement from all different angles, and she laughed out loud, a high, strange giggle that echoed in the damp stone vault.
Yuuka, hiding behind a pillar, decided at this moment to jump out and surprise one of the clones with a hug. Her arms closed on empty air, though, as all four copies dissolved into small clouds of bats, to gather and reform into one demented little vampiress several feet away in the shadows.
"I forgooooot~," she said, grinning strangely. "It works on more than just hurty things like danmaku." She seemed utterly untroubled by the presence of the other youkai in her room, obviously unaware of her reputation. Normally, Yuuka showing up anywhere near human or youkai habitation was greeted with screaming and fleeing.
Yuuka's disappointed face was utterly priceless.
"Ne, ne, Yuuka..." Flandre giggled madly at her, eyes glowing red like a dying ember in the dark. "I found out the secret!"
"Oh, of what?" The other youkai regarded her with amusement.
"Eeeeeeeverything," came the reply. "Everything breaks. But some things...some things, you can put back together." A glint of teeth shined with the red eyes above.
Delightly twisted, Yuuka thought as she matched her demented grin for demented grin. "You can't put silly humans back together, though."
"I know," Flandre suddenly said seriously, all her insanity suddenly gone and a child's innocence back on her face. "I tried once. No matter what I did, the human wouldn't move again. I think it's because I didn't get all the blood back inside."
Yuuka listened close, amused. So, this was the Scarlet Devil Mansion's dirty little secret? So naive... but maybe she could teach the girl a few things about hunting. After all, playing with your food was one of life's simple pleasures. Maybe if she was lucky, she'd refine the vampire in her style of killing. "What about the spinal cord?" she asked conversationally.
"What's that?" Flandre stepped out of the shadow, and there was a faint jingle of crystals as she tilted her head curiously.
"It's the long, knobbly thing that comes out when you pull a human in two~," Yuuka said cheerfully.
"Eww, you did that? I didn't see anything like that." Flandre's tiny, sharp nose wrinkled in the low light.
"Is that so?" Yuuka smiled to herself, amused. The little bloodsucker was turning out to be a delightful diversion.
"Yup. His head came off, though."
Yuuka nodded, mock-seriously. "Welllll, when you tear them down the middle, like so--" she made a violent tearing gesture that would make most people faint from horror "--you'll see it. It's the long, bony thing like a tail hanging down from the ribs, clear as day." She paused and gave Flandre another toothy grin, tinged with amusement. The girl was quite an oddity, which was good for her lifespan; things that piqued Yuuka's interest tended not to die horrible, violent deaths. Not immediately, at least. "So, tell me about the person you broke?"
Flandre's face changed suddenly, oddly vulnerable. "It was kind of scary," she said softly. "He came in here all covered in blood and saying things like 'Vampires are evil, I'll kill 'em all!'" She mimed a man shouting and waving something around, perhaps a whip or a stake (and if either, the poor fool was woefully under-equipped). "And then... I don't remember after that." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "The next thing I remember was standing behind him, and his head was on the floor and his body fell over and his blood was all over me..." she trailed off.
"I'm sure he was a good meal, then~," Yuuka said, sing-song. She herself had no taste for human blood, despite some of the rumors about her. To be covered in it or creating fountains of it was fine, but the taste just didn't do it at all. If the stories kept criminals and ne'er-do-wells in line, though, she'd tolerate them.
Flandre made a face. "His blood was all sour so I only took a little sip. I tried to put it back in and put his head back, but..." she stopped, and looked upset. "I don't think he was a bad man," she said quietly.
Curious. Sympathy? From a vampire, for a vampire killer?
"I couldn't fix him," Flandre said again, clearly agitated. "And it was just his head! Why does taking off something so small make him break?"
"Heads are important, Flandre. And think about it: if you had put him back together, he'd go right back threatening you and trying to hurt you, right? No, he's much better-behaved without his head. Quieter too. Silly humans. Speaking of which, where were your guardians during all that?"
"Oh, Remi-neechan was out looking for food, and I think Sakuya-san was sleeping. I know Meiling-san was sleeping. And Pache-san was reading, like always."
Yuuka scoffed in contempt. Her own gatekeeper, Elly, had an excuse; guarding was a tad redundant when your mistress made it a habit to murder the copper-plated hell out of anything that could conceivably harm her precious sunflowers. And anyway, the lonely stretch of reality on the border of dreams seldom had visitors to begin with. What was on display here, though, was incompetence, pure and simple.
"That won't do at all. Should we punish them?" she asked.
Flandre shook her head no furiously. "Nuh-uh. Remi-neechan says I don't need people to protect me." Her flat chest swelled with pride. "She said, um, something like 'If anyone comes where you live, they deserve whatever they get.'"
Yuuka grinned at her again. "And what about... people like me?"
Flandre, utterly guilelessly, looked her straight in the eye. "I like you," she said simply. "You smell like flowers, and blood, and death."
Yuuka's face flushed. Flandre leaned in towards her and took a deep breath. "You smell strong," she said, almost wistfully. "Like Remi-neechan, but different. Older. I really like it..."
It was Yuuka's turn to puff with pride. "I'm the strongest there is," she said, giving her the special evil grin she usually saved for a victim who knew they were going to die in pain and rest in pieces. Oh yes, she had proven her strength, with the blood of countless monsters and villains, time and time again. This girl, however, wouldn't be a victim. Disappointing, really. She had come here expecting a monster to fight and save Gensokyo from and make a nice little trophy on her wall... maybe she'd show her how to hunt?
Flandre looked rather impressed. "The fairy on the lake says she's the strongest, though."
"Well, not anymore," Yuuka said, making a mental note to have a chat with said fairy.
"Hmm..." Flandre began counting on her fingers. "Onee-chan says she's stronger than me, and the fairy used to be strongest, but now you are. So, that means you're strongest, the fairy is number two, and Remi-neechan is number three."
Yuuka beamed with pride, and gave the vampire a pat on the head. About time someone gave her some recognition! "Such a smart girl!"
"So, I'm number four." Flandre thought for a moment. "But when there's four of me, am I number sixteen?"
"Well, no, rankings don't work quite that way, but good guess." Yuuka chuckled, thinking a small course in basic mathematics was in order. This child was special -- not like the other children, human or youkai, who ran screaming no matter how tough they thought they were (and regardless of how much candy Yuuka offered. What was wrong about a grown woman offering children candy? She quite liked children; they tended to respect flowers).
She had heard from one rather brave (or unknowing) child that it was because everyone said she was the boogeyman who invaded bad childrens' dreams to kill them if they didn't listen to their parents. Silly humans. Yes, Yuuka was liking the Scarlet child more and more. She hadn't had a meaningful conversation with a child for quite a while.
"Do you think I'm scary, Flandre? Most people think I am." And with good reason.
Flandre shrugged. "I don't see people, so I don't know about them. You don't scare me, though." Again, completely honest and open, innocent almost to a fault.
"Do you think people would run away at the sight of you?" It was kind of obvious--most humans lived in terror of everyone who resided in Scarlet Devil Mansion--but Flandre wouldn't know that.
"Uun... onee-chan says people are scared of vampires."
"She's right, child. You are far, far stronger than any pitiful human, and they know it."
Flandre looked thoughtful for a moment. "Humans and vampires...where do we come from, anyway?" she asked. The flower youkai seemed to know a lot of things, so she might as well keep asking questions. She rather enjoyed this new visitor, since she felt talked down to when she asked Remilia things while Patchouli used a lot of words she didn't understand, if she could be bothered to stop reading long enough.
"Hm, do you remember anything about someone or something biting you?" The Scarlet child didn't seem that different from other vampires she'd fought, bats and bloodlust and all, but then again, most of them didn't use the spell card system. Or were capable of destroying reality.
"No, no one ever did."
"Well, then you come from a different place than humans. Some vampires only look like humans on the outside, possessed by demons or spirits or creatures who wear their bodies like a second skin. Some of them were just regular folk who happened to become ill and turn into vampires, no magic required. Sometimes, a body buried wrong will return as a vampire, or it may happen because a black cat jumps over the coffin as it's being lowered into the ground." Yuuka was enjoying herself, rattling off a whole checklist of gruesome, frightening, or just plain bizarre ways vampires were made.
"Wow... I don't think I'm any of those. Though, Pache-san sometimes says Sakuya-san is a cat."
Yuuka raised an eyebrow momentarily at that, but continued onwards. "Anyway, some of them sparkle, but those you should ignore. Or horribly maim on sight."
Flandre glanced nervously at her self-made wings, jingling the crystals in the moonlight. "These sparkle when the light hits them," she said doubtfully.
"They're different though, their skin sparkles. But all of them can hurt, be they small or large. Some are just stronger than others. Like, the ones that sparkle can move real fast, and some others can do the same, just without the glitter, usually much faster ? sometimes almost as fast as light. Some turn into scary mutants if they don't get blood long enough. Some are super-strong. Some can grow huge wings and command anyone they drink from or kill, and others are so tough that if you leave even a hair of them they can grow back from it in a night. Some even destroyed whole planets and could live in space"
"Oooooooh." Flandre was absolutely fascinated.
Yuuka patted her head again through her pink mob cap. "Good girl. You're quite the student." She tried to pull Flandre close for a hug, but the other girl froze and recoiled in horror at the last second.
Yuuka blinked. "What's wrong, little one?" She was worried now; had she hurt her somehow? Did she scare her? Did the girl actually know about her already and just pretend not to...?
Flandre looked down. "When I get too close to people, I..." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "...I can't remember what happens, but usually they... they... don't move anymore after I get close."
"I'm different," the youkai reassured her, running her fingers through the girl's hair. "You can get close to me. I won't stop moving, promise." Despite the assurance, Flandre didn't respond; she stood there, eyes downcast, and as Yuuka watched, she noticed the girl start to shake. What was going on?
Yuuka bent level with her, gently placing a hand on each shoulder. "You can tell me, Flandre..."
"...It hurts." Flandre mumbled. Yuuka gave a sigh. Oh, dear, Izayoi-san and the elder Scarlet would not be pleased about Flandre sustaining an injury in my presence.
"Where does it hurt?" Yuuka asked, concerned.
"It's here," Flandre said, bringing her hands to her heart. "It... it's telling me to stay away, and get close... and it can't decide..."
Yuuka gave her the most gentle, warm smile she was capable of, without a trace of her customary predatory sadism. "Get close. I won't harm you, I promise."
Flandre was still shaking, fear in her voice. "It's not that. I don't want you to stop moving..."
"I promise I will not stop moving. I've been hit with much worse, things that would make lesser youkai break into tiny little pieces, and I'm still here."
It didn't help. Flandre's eyes unfocused as she sank into her own mind, adrenaline spiking her bloodstream as she remembered: images of red splashing everywhere, screams of pain, yielding flesh, wet and horrible in her clawing hands. She shivered violently, completely lost in the horrific visions. Yuuka took the initiative and hugged her tight - what else could she do to calm her? - gently brushing the hair out of her eyes.
Flandre flinched, every muscle in her skinny frame locking up, but slowly relaxed when nothing awful happened. Yuuka was still there, in one piece, smiling at her. No hot, gushing redness, no crunching bones or ripping muscles...what had just happened? Reality slowly seeped back in.
"I...I don't know what that feeling was..." Flandre stammered, her breath ragged.
"Was it warm?"
Flandre shook her head violently again. "It was the scariest thing I've ever felt!"
Still hugging tightly, Yuuka pulled Flandre closer. "Don't be scared... you're safe with me. I'll never, ever do anything to harm you, ever." With mild surprise, she realized that she really meant it.
"But! But, but... I..." Flandre was near hyperventilation. "I thought... I thought I was going to hurt you!" She burst into tears. "And I didn't want to! I don't want you to break!"
"I'm the strongest, remember?" Yuuka cooed as she wiped away the girl's tears, annoyed with herself for making her cry. Yuuka hated seeing children cry, and hated the idea that she was responsible even more. If it had been anyone else, that person would be flower food by now.
"Uu...un...th-that's true." Flandre took a sharp breath, trying to slow her breathing down. "It's...it's silly, I know. You're the strongest. I know I shouldn't worry but... just the feeling was so scary! I need to not get stronger any more. Sometimes I wish I couldn't break anything at all..." She shuddered, but at least the crying had stopped.
"Don't worry, child..." Yuuka rubbed her back softly, between the wrought-iron... sticks that passed for wings. "I can teach you how not to break things." The older youkai held her closely, flooded with moonlight in the dim basement.
"Flande," Yuuka asked, releasing her after the longest time. "what makes you want to break things? Is it your nose?"
"Eehh? What about my nose?" Flandre crossed her eyes, trying to get a look at it, which made Yuuka laugh a bit. Innocent and adorable, yes, so very much.
"I mean, does smelling people make you angry? Like..." Yuuka searched her mind for someone constantly angry and threatening, and came up with possible the worst example. "Like that miko?" Ugh, no. The priestess of the Hakurei Shrine did like to threaten, but she wasn't what you'd call
irrationally berserk like a few youkai that suddenly came to mind. Although, Yuuka had heard that the miko and her witch girlfriend had stormed the mansion before and broken into the basement. So, maybe Flandre really had been threatened by them...
"No, different. The miko is, um... she smells like... she had something to protect, I think...?" Flandre mused.
Definitely a bad example then. "Well, no. Do you every see other scary people like the man who wanted to kill all vampires?"
"Not really, no. I don't remember anyone else like him."
"Well, not everyone will be scary and rude. Almost no one will, actually, especially towards us. So, we need someone you can practice 'not breaking people' on." Yuuka suddenly grinned mischievously. "We can ask Cirno to help! She's not the strongest anymore, but that's fine. She won't break."
"Uun...would she come inside here?" Flandre looked around the basement. Even she doubted they could get the fairy in here. Willingly, at least. "I can't go out in the sun, so..."
"I could use my umbrella to make you feel safer in the sun. Besides, the sun set hours ago, remember?"
"Oh, that's right. Remi-neechan goes out with an umbrella sometimes..." she said distractedly. Flandre had long since stopped crying, but somewhere deep down, she was profoundly unsettled. Something had irrevocably changed, and she knew that the new, confusing feelings churning inside her would never, ever go away...
Yuuka took her hand gently. "Let's go find the strongest fairy, shall we?"
Flandre didn't respond, only sighing heavily and closing her eyes, gently leaning on her.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm...changing." Was that the right word? Yes, it was a good word. Changing. "Er. I've been thinking too hard. Maybe that's what's changing me."
"Thinking about what, dear?"
"...about things breaking."
"Huh. Did you break something while I wasn't looking?" Yuuka was only half joking. If this girl was fast enough to move around without notice, the lax security in the mansion was an even bigger problem than she thought.
"No, nothing like that... just, I don't understand what I felt earlier, about wanting to hug you forever and run away at the same time." She shivered. "It felt like I was being pulled apart inside."
Yuuka half-smiled. ?I give that feeling to some people I meet when I'm out enjoying flowers...? She remembered one God walking by her field, obviously quite drunk from the beer in hand, and declaring her... moe. Instead of force-feeding him his own stomach, she had been reduced to blushing mess, and curiously after that, a few strong, brave youkai declared her moe as well when she wasn't in earshot, even finding her adorable when she was out killing.
Flandre shook her head. Such a cute little thing. ?Nuh-uh, it's not that. I'm not scared of you... I'm scared of what happens if I get too close.?
?But we are close...? Strange how things could change in the course of a night.
Flandre nodded. ?Even though I know here-? she pointed to her head ?-that you won't break, it's not like that in here,? she said, pointing at her heart, then letting her hands drop to her sides limply. Suddenly, she clenched her teeth, anger welling up, balling her fists. ?I'm so STUPID!? She was screaming, hating that she hurt people, hating that she might hurt this woman, someone she trusted and felt safe with. ?I KNOW everything breaks someday! I AM the thing that breaks other things! So why does it hurt to think of you-!? She locked up, sobbing while Yuuka pulled her close again.
To see her like this was... pitiful. The flower youkai hadn't felt love in a long, long time, and now, thanks to a child, Yuuka's heart was skipping beats. A bit over-dramatic to describe it, but nonetheless, it was fluttering. Curious. For as long lived as she was, she surprised herself sometimes... how pleasant. She liked children, but she'd like this child even more.
?Do you know what love is?? Yuuka whispered into Flandre's ear when the sobbing died down.
?I know the word...?
?It's what makes you hurt when you think of me.?
?So it's not a good thing. So when Pache-san says Marisa and Alice love another... So that's why they fight?? After thinking it through, she shook her head, looking back down at the ground, like she was suddenly ashamed of what she had done. ?I don't want love, then. I don't want to hurt inside.? She tried to worm her way out of Yuuka's embrace.
?No, no, it's good. It may hurt, but it's worth it. Love is... how shall I put it? If there was no love, your onee-chan wouldn't take care of you.?
After some deliberation, Flandre brightened up, ceasing her struggle. ?...Remi-neechan takes care of me because she loves me. Alice and Marisa fight because they love one another. Sooooo love can hurt or help??
?That's right,? Yuuka smiled, tapping Flandre on the nose as she released her from her hug. The smile disappeared as she saw Flandre's head dipped low, eyes closed in apparent concentration and a melancholic frown on her face.
?I have this feeling that something changed tonight,? she murmured.
?What did, Flandre??
?I'm not the same person I was a few hours ago.?
?Er... how so??
?I feel, uhm, old.?
Yuuka wondered just how long Remilia had kept her down here. ?Well, you have been down here for a long time...?
?Maybe more different than old? Just, uhm, different.?
The vampire twitched, and opened her eyes. Yuuka was surprised with just how clear they were ? they now had a purpose, replacing that childish gleam in her eyes a few moments ago.
?I understand now... I understand what that miko fights for. She knows, too, about how everything breaks.? Tears welled up again in Flandre's eyes. ?I know... I know why my sister... and Sakuya-san, and Meiling-san, and you ? I'll protect them! Until they break, I'll protect them!?
Yuuka smiled, her eyes wet as well. Just so precious... Her own heart felt like it would explode as she took a chance, leaning forward to kiss the Scarlet Devil child. It had been the longest time since she felt... love. She never had been in any sort of relationship, not even those silly physical short trysts so popular amongst humans. No one in their right mind would dare approach the... what did they label her? The Ultimate Sadistic Creature. Ungrateful bastards, she protects the land they love and they reward her with fear and loathing-
Her kiss missed, planting itself on Flandre's cheek, to Yuuka's disappointment. Flandre returned the chaste kiss, standing up. Her face lost its childish innocence, and her eyes... they were focused, like a predator's eyes on the hunt.
?Flandre...?? Yuuka asked.
?I'll be fine,? Flandre replied. Her voice sounded wise beyond her years (however long those were). ?I understand so much more, now...?
?Your sister will be displeased you know more about the world,? Yuuka said, a bit concerned. Her dealings with the elder Scarlet sister were fleeting at best, and she had the feeling that even if she was a favorable acquaintance, her new relationship with Flandre would meet with... disapproval. ?But I don't care. I'll teach you from now on... Shall we go talk to the fairy to learn a thing or two about not breaking people?? Yuuka mustered the best smile she could give, getting a nod and a slight smile in return.
?Yes. Let's go,? Flandre said, shyly slipping a hand into Yuuka's larger right hand.
They took off. It was late at night, the clocks pointing at eleven sharp, and Remilia and Sakuya had retired to their rooms for the rest of the night, as had the fairy and tengu servants. Patchouli was too engrossed in her collection to notice the pair leaving, and Meiling was, to no one's surprise, asleep, not stirring once when the two passed by her. The moon was half-full, but it was strangely bright, giving everything a painted look as the two made their down the winding forest path to the lake.
When they reached the shores of the lake, it looked more like a still life painting than reality. The lake didn't ripple, not even with the night breeze sweeping through it, and the grass stood still, like soldiers at attention.
And, of course, it was colder than usual. The two spotted the occasional ice floe drifting lazily on the lake's surface.
?She's here,? Flandre muttered.
?I know, dear.?
?The air's always cold around that fairy,? Flandre continued, as if Yuuka was a stranger to the fairy's abilities.
?Don't worry, dear.? Yuuka stepped to where the soil and the water met, tapping the surface with the tip of her umbrella. The surface rippled, bringing motion back to the lake and its environs. Sure enough...
?Go away! I'm not home!? It was a voice infinitely more childish than Flandre's, even more high-pitched, and completely devoid of intelligence.
Yuuka called out like a mother calling for her child. ?Cirno, we want to play.?
?Go away! I'm not home!? Cirno tried again, attempting to repeat the previous warning to its exact tone. She learned this trick once when Chen brought over some square thingy they called a phone.
?That'll be your home for all eternity if you don't let us play, fairy,? Yuuka said in a tone reserved for worried mothers and not for psychopaths threatening a cruel death.
?I told you, I'm not home! I'm... uh, visiting... Letty, YEAH! Uh, uhhhhh... leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEEEP!?
Yuuka rolled her eyes, and swung her umbrella at the lake, turning it into a stormy sea. Pathetic yelps of surprise from Cirno could be heard over the lake's sudden violence, tidal waves crushing the grass growing at the shores, and the once clear lake turning a disgusting brown as silt stirred in the churning, foaming waters. Yuuka walked over to Cirno, who had been spat out into the shore after a rather large wave and grabbed her by her shirt's collar, tsking her as a harried mother did to misbehaving children.
?Now, we'll be playing in your home, dear.? Yuuka said, still in mock-concern mode.
?'I'm not home'?? Flandre repeated, incredulously, as she raised an eyebrow at Cirno. ?What sort of excuse is that??
?I thought it would work,? Cirno replied, a child on the verge of tears that some jerk just wrecked her best excuse, not very concerned about the Ultimate Sadistic Creature and the Diabolic Wave being annoyed at her. ?Alright, fine. I'll let you play, but remember, eye'm the strongest!?
Yuuka ignored her. ?Flandre, do you mind the cold??
?Sometimes. I think I like it now.?
?Well, shall we swim?? Yuuka heard something about vampires not being able to cross running water, but the lake wasn't exactly running water anymore as the frenzied swirling stopped, and the lake went back to being a perfect blue. Besides, Flandre wasn't exactly a normal vampire.
?Uhm, sure,? Flandre said.
?H-hey! If I didn't let you play, you said!? Cirno protested.
?...Said what?? It was Yuuka's turn to raise an eyebrow at Cirno. ?I don't recall saying anything but telling you we're here to play.?
?That you'd let me go if I let you play, and you're here and playing, so let me go!? Cirno flailed, to little effect. Yuuka nodded and dropped the fairy like a sack of potatoes. After a few minutes of trying to get her face out of the mud, Cirno was yanked up again.
?Not a chance. We want you to play with us,? Yuuka said as she grinned deviously. Cirno stayed, either because she was scared out of her wits, or too dumb to disagree. Most likely the latter.
Cirno squeaked as Yuuka picked her up by the collar again and dragged her just above the lake's surface, out to the center.
?Alright, Flandre. I want you to hug the fairy,? Yuuka said as she held Cirno out with one arm, still smirking. Flandre hesitantly approached the two.
?Oh, no! That's the crazy sister! This isn't a good thing!? Cirno yelped, as if she just realized that Flandre was here and approaching her. ?Don't hug the fairy! Leave the fairy alone!?
?Flandre, hug her like you normally do,? Yuuka said.
?Cirno, I'm... not like that,? Flandre tried to reassure the fairy, to no avail, before suddenly lunging at wrapping her arms around the terrified fairy.
?EEEEEEEEEEEE ? oh, wait, I'm not dead.? Cirno looked confused, turning her head at Yuuka. ?...What are you trying to do??
?I'm teaching her how to hug people without crushing them,? Yuuka said, giving a smile to Cirno. The unfortunate fairy stared at her blankly for five seconds, before horror dawned on her and twisted her face into... something not pleasant to look at.
?Um, it's not hugging what happens to humans,? Flandre corrected.
?What happens, then?? Yuuka asked.
?Everything goes all red, and then I can't remember what happens between that and suddenly being covered in blood.?
The latest explanation didn't calm Cirno one bit. ?OhnogetawaygetawaygetawaygetawayGETAWAY!?
?So it only happens when they're threatening, right?? Yuuka asked. Flandre only nodded.
?Don't let her 'kyuu' me!? Cirno pleaded, not savoring the memory of the last time it happened. ?It hurts like Hell and I always respawn with a headache like that one time I ate a frozen fish!!? Cirno began her fruitless flailing again.
?You're the strongest aren't you?? Yuuka gave an evil little smile. ?Not anymore!? She picked up a sharp icicle floating past and wrapped Cirno's fingers around it, almost crushing her hand, and waved the arm at Flandre.
Cirno gave a horrible, horrible squealing noise.
To Yuuka and Cirno's respective mild annoyance and eternal relief, Flandre just stood there, blinking, head tilted in confusion. ?I... don't think I could ever find Cirno threatening.?
?Wait, what?! Eye'm the strongest! Of course I'm threatening!!? Fright gave way to annoyance at this.
?...Are you trying to get me to mutilate her, Yuuka?? Flandre asked.
?No, dear. I'm trying to teach you not to mutilate someone.?
?If that's it, then I'll just have to stay away from bad people.?
?Uh. Well. That's good too!? Yuuka bent down to Cirno's ear and hissed. ?You got off the hook this time, fairy.?
?That's my cue to leave, right?!? Cirno yelped as Yuuka released her death grip. ?BYE!? She was gone in a flash.
Yuuka snorted. ?Silly fairy.? She looked back at Flandre again. ?Well, there goes our lesson in breaking things. Would you like to swim, Flandre?"
The vampire shook her head cutely. ?I think I should go back home... the sun's going to come back," Flandre said, stifling a yawn.
?I'll carry you home.?
?I'm not too heavy??
?Of course not, love.? Yuuka smiled, picking Flandre up. She felt so fragile for someone of her supposed power. Almost like a doll. ?Err... which way back home??
Flandre snuggled in close, closing her eyes. ?North... the mansion's on the straight road.? She fell asleep immediately after saying that, a smile on her face.
Yuuka began the long walk to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Dawn would be here soon, and she'd have to make it to the Scarlet Devil Mansion before anyone noticed Flandre was gone.
Regardless, she was happy, humming and smiling and blushing and letting flowers bloom in her wake.
It looked like it would be a rather bright day when the sun would finally come.
