(Holy cow, almost 3 years since an update, bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)
[Touhou Short Shorts, episode one]Mokou wakes up. Its 10 AM.
"Alright, time to get ready."
Soon she's ready. She steps out. Its 11 AM.
"Gotta get breakfast,"
She fuels herself up with freshly caught eel. Its 12:30 PM.
"Gotta go on patrol,"
Mokou kicks around a few groups of thieves, kidnappers and hungry youkai. Its 4 PM.
"Gotta get ready for the night,"
Spy catsuit. Check. Fireproofing for said suit. Check. Knives, check. Club, check. Smith and Wesson, check. Binoculars, check. Camouflage, check. Mokou moves into position. It's 6 PM.
Radar, check. Weather, check. Location, check. Vantage point, check. Sniper rifle, check. Waffle iron, check. All is ready, all is good. It's 9 PM.
Target detected. Stalking the target. 10 PM.
Blocked off the roads to redirect target. 11:30 PM.
The perfect ambush point. 12:00 AM.
Finally. Soon, she heard the whistling. 12:15 AM. Kaguya on her late night jog. Tonight was the night. 12:20 AM. This time there would be no escape. This would be a night of reckoning. 12:23 AM. Timing was everything. Had to choose the right moment.
She's close to the mansion now. The Earth Rabbit escorts have left. Good. 12:45 AM.
She doing some stretches. Won't be long now. 12:55 AM.
Got a visual on her ZUN. She's listening to Eye of the Tiger while giving her best impression of that Stallone guy (in broken English). 1:20 AM.
She's nearing the clearing. 1:35 AM.
She's in the clearing. 1:38 AM.
Surrounded by trees, the perfect spot. 1:42 AM.
Quietly get to the vantage point while she does the Harlem Shake. 1:46 AM.
She could easily bust a cap in that royal ass. But there's no fun in that. Fuck that, she had a freaking Katana. And tonight, she was NINJA. 1:49 AM.
Wait for her to finish that Kanako-awful dance. 1:53 AM.
"Oppa Gangnam style!"
Wait for her to finish that
other Kanako-awful dance. 1:59 AM.
Yes! Perfect! The time had come. It was time to strike. Fujiwara no Mokou pounces!
"They're can be only ONE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
Kaguya merely turns and looks up at Mokou, flipping her two birds while shouting. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
And n- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Oh my Kanako, hold on. No... No... No! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOO! Nononononono, ohhhhh no! You can't do this! You absolutely cannot do this! Fujiwara no Mokou, you reckless fool! You can't do that! You absolutely cannot do that!
YOU'VE CREATED A TIME PARADOX!!!
Suddenly, Mokou was on the ground!
"Wait, what? A time what?! Where's Kaguya?! This is impossi-!"
Nothing is impossible for BEN FUCKING FRANK!
"Who is th-?!"
"Lost an hour!" shouted Kaguya with a demonic voice as she erupted from the ground, smashing Mokou's chin with a devastating uppercut, whilst wearing an impossibly large boxing glove. Mokou flew to the moon, shattering it in half before falling back down the atmosphere (surviving only because of flame powers and immortality) and landing at Keine-sensei's front door.
TIME PARADOX!We'll leave you to decide just how she avoided blasting a gargantuan crater into the ground in the process.
Mokou staggers through the door. Keine is waiting, smiling with her arms crossed.
TIME PARADOX!!"K... Keine, why? What happened?!" asked Mokou, leaning on the wall.
"You forgot something." answered Keine.
"I forgot something?!"
"You forgot something!" repeated Keine.
"What did I forget?! I went over everything! Everything was perfect! How could I have possi-..."
"You know already, my child," said Keine, looking less sane by the second.
"B-but that voice... And the message... And that skip in time...! Oh my god, its... its...!"
The calendar on the wall. Its mid-March.
TIME PARADOX!!!"But this means it was...!" cried out Mokou.
"That's right," Keine explodes to reveal her true identity.
"Benjamin Fuckin' Franklin! Beeyotch!"
"You..." A single tear rolls down Mokou's cheek.
"Oh yeah," Franklin-sensei puffed a breath of air from his mouth to his fist, rubbing it on his chest. "That was me,"
"LOST AN HOURRRR!!!" shouted Kaguya as she burst forth from the ground yet again.
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" The flames of Mokou's rage burst forth, reaching up to the heavens themselves as Ben Frank and Kaguya took to the skies for their final apocalyptic duel for the rights to the concept of Daylight Savings Time and all associated with it, Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth sitting in as the judges. Kaguya revealed her true form of a cute and moe female version of George Vernon Hudson-san, causing Benjamin Franklin to revealing his
true true form of a cute and moe female incarnation of herself, Bernice Franklin-san. Their eternal struggle would rage and rage until all was torn asunder, all was cast to ash, smote and made barren until there was nothing left other than bleakness and suffering. Everyone and everything burned to death.
The End.
The moral of the story: Don't forget to set your clocks forward. Peace out.
