This shit is 3465 words, and I had some scholarship shit to sort out today. Screw you and your need for updates.
(I'm only reviving on rolls of 6)
>Pay Purvis to build the Large Hadron Collider again and take ownership of it.
1: You laugh at Purvis' poverty. How pathetic.
> Find Tewi to punch her in the face
4(-1): You find Tewi hanging around PaperTomoe and give her a good punch in the face. PaperTomoe asks what the hell you're doing before launching a counter attack on Tewi's behalf on you.
Roll to dodge!6: You use your mindhax to predict the incoming attack and counterattack PaperTomoe's counterattack.
PaperTomoe must roll to dodge!6(-1): You grab Tewi and leap to safety whilst Pesco is dodging your attack, performing all sorts of midair acrobatics. You're finally getting used to your new abilities. (+1 roll)
>Assume the path of the Hobo; Panhandle furiously!
6: You drop everything and start performing, forming your own one man band. It's successful, too successful and the money pouring in causes you to lose your hobo status.
>Throw a party and everyone's invited.
2(+1): You throw a fancy party, the fanciest party that the world has seen for quite some time, but some unsophisticated simpletons would rather go to a drinking party instead. You feel rather insulted. (-1 roll)
> Remind Mystia specifically of that one time when we kissed and her friends thought it was awesome.
6(+1): You keep telling Mystia about the things you've done together, especially the time the two of you kissed. You see Mystia struggling as she tries to organize her thoughts until, suddenly, you hear her gasp and see her adopt a large smile. She remembers everything, and is promptly removed due having too many connections to the previous canon. Without Mystia's support you begin falling, both metaphorically and literally.
Roll to dodge!6: You can't let something like this stop you, if she's gone, you simply need to take her back. Through sheer resolve, you take no damage when you land on the ground and you rebel against the world that so cruelly took away your Mystia. You spot a crack in the earth and get the feeling that Mystia has been taken through there.
> Defeat Cirno and Become the 9!
2: You get up to resume your challenge with Cirno, but trip and fall. Cirno uses this opportunity to get an easy hit off on you. (Wounded)
> QQ in the graveyard about how everyone else's rolls were so overpowered.
3: You try to QQ, but you're too dead to do so. Well, it's the thought that counts.
> Revive
4: You rise from your grave! Until you remember that you weren't buried, you were devoured by the void. Looks like your escape will have to happen later.
> Universal revive
1: People die when they are killed. You take note of this important fact. Not that it helps much when you're dead too.
#Permanently change the game rules so that all players who have lost the game via death are instead transformed into PC undead monsters.
perl -e "s/has lost the game/is now an undead warrior/g;" -pi.save $(find rumias_party_games/dormio/troll_to_dodge -type f)
2: You do not have sufficient permissions to edit this file.
>Possess Conq's soul with the insistent, crazed whispering of the the almighty deity, the half eaten slice of cake, and take him as his new wielder to take vengeance upon the one known as Dormio.
2: You lament your inability to do anything, seeing as you're a sword.
> Now that I established my Doll Army, let's make a Doll Navy and a Doll Air Force.
5: You expand your faction, creating separate divisions for your new fleet and air force. With the full force of your army behind you, you feel as though you could take anything on. (+1 roll)
> Diagnose the effects of being so close to the anomaly
4(-1): You calmly observe yourself, nothing good will happen if you panic. You feel fine too, though you think you're a bit lighter than usu- why are some parts of you slightly transparent? Portions of your body appear to be missing, though they're slowly turning back to normal. You hope that this doesn't affect your regular activities. (-1 roll)
>If The Infinity Blade is unsuccessful to do above, attempt to equip The Helepolis Train as a Mount.
1: You release Helepolis into the wild.
>Lick the blood
5: You lick the blood. You have no idea where the blood came from or why it happens to be there, but you lick the blood. And it tastes good. (+1 roll)
>Eat PX
6: You "eat" PX, taking every part of him for yourself. You leave PX in tears once you're done. You feel dirty, as you're sure PX does as well.
>Join Trance's party and recruit panda and Keldorn Firecam
2: You try to join Trance's party, only to get lost along the way. You fail to find panda or the Keldorn Firecam either.
>Use my intestines to perform a summoning ritual that will summon the great World Fish to come and eat the forum.
6: You form a magic circle with your intestines and, despite the massive blood loss, you find that your mind is completely clear. You begin to chant and you see your magic circle begin to glow. You see the glorious form of the World Fish appear before your eyes, and it appears to be hungry.
Everybody must roll to dodge to avoid being eaten by the giant catfish!>train dino army.
6: You return to your secret project, your personal dinosaur army. And it looks like they've made a lot more progress than before. You may not have as many numbers as the doll or fairy factions, but your dinosaurs are a lot stronger. You take a quick joy ride on a T-Rex, simply because you can.
> Trying to Join the Game 
6: You utilize the rift that just passed through the land to casually step into the topic.
>Genocide Mind Flayers
1: You begin worshipping the Mind Flayers. You can't get enough of how great the Mind Flayers are. Your goal in life is to one day become a Mind Flayer yourself.
>Otherwise, head over to Trance's party to celebrate surviving the anomaly
6(-1): You dress yourself up in a fance manner and attend Trance's party with all the other fancy people. You fancily tickle your fancies with all the fancy treats that Trance has prepared. Being this fancy every once in a while feel pretty good. (+1 roll)
>Set up some sandbags and ready up a howitzer! I'm still a distance off and I know no other country in the world which involves distanced bombardment.
4: You get a howitzer ready, you have no idea what you'll fire at yet though.
> Sit under a tree and summon the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi.
2: You sit under a tree and meditate, drawing on the power of the earth to call forth the Kusanagi no Tsurugi. You can feel the power of nature flowing through your veins, the wind lifting your abilties to new heights. Unfortunately, all you're really doing is sitting under a tree, you hippie.
>Bend the physical concept of heat to my will and use it to hover.
3(+1): After having seen the anomaly rip through space and time itself, you wonder: Why can't you do the same? You change the laws of physics in a localized area around you in order to give yourself the ability to fly.
> Revive Shadoweh and recruit her into the cult
2: You visit Shadoweh's grave and pay your respects. You'd bring her back if you could, but you lack this ability.
>Turn Dormio into an airplane, complete with BOMBS! Nothing could go wrong.
6: You capture Dormio and rebuild him, better than before. You've replaced Dormio's fleshy exterior with steel and have given him the ability to fly. In addition, you filled him up with bombs. This could never come back to haunt you, right?
> Resist looking at the topic again.
1: You can't stop staring at the topic. Why does it appeal to you so?
>Try gathering as many oni as you can for a drinking party; include everyone else in the area too~
4: You simply announce that you're throwing a party, and that there will be alcohol, and sure enough soon all the oni are gathered around you, drinking merrily.
> Develop a new candy bar called, "Gay Bar." It shall have sprinkles and pretty colors and sweetness and marshmallows.
4: Whilst taking it easy to recover, you develop a new candy called the "Gay Bar". It's
fantastic!>Banish the witch (Chaore) to THE MOOOON
5(-1): You kick Chaore to send him flying the moon! There is no room for witches on this planet!
Chaore must roll to dodge!2: You were too busy turning Dormio into a plane to notice Sanrisa Laser sneaking up behind you. Fortunately, when you're sent flying, you manage to hold onto Dormio to stay on the earth. Unfortunately, Dormio was loaded with bombs. Which happen to detonate on impact. And you have just caused an impact. (Wounded)
> fry some bacon shirtless
6: You flex and rip off your shirt, heating up your muscles by working out to the point where you can fry some bacon on your abs. You feel awesome. And you smell good.
> Join Kitten4U's cult and steal some pantsu
6: You feel a chill run down your spine, it feels as though your former self is being violated somehow. Oh well, not like you care. Instead, you join Kitten4u's cult before it even exists and steal pantsu in her name.
Roll to dodge2: Kitten4u has no idea what you're doing, and soon all your victims have surrounded Kitten4u, demanding their pantsu back before taking out their anger on her. (Wounded)
>Construct secret underwater laboratory
3: You construct a secret underwater laboratory. Nobody knows where it is, not even you! Wait a moment...
>There's a party? Spike the Punch!
2: You spike the punch! Or, at least, you would have had the punch not been made out of alcohol. Maybe you should have gone to the fancy party, instead of the party for Oni.
>Come up with a ?Epiphanic Master Plan?
2: You go through several packets of cigarettes as you sit down and think, but are unable to come up with any good ideas.
>TROLL PAPER_TOMOE ABOUT HOW HER CONTRACT WAS A BAD IDEA.
5(+1):
You troll Paper Tomoe about her contract so hard that she's unable to comprehend the fact that she was trolled. >Learn more about Void Magic...yes...reach deep into the Endless Empty, and wrest away that power for yourself!
6: You study void magic, trying to harvest the emptiness. You master the magic with ease, but find yourself wrestling with the urge to return everyone and everything to void. Will you be able to retain your sanity?
Roll to dodge!1: You go mad, and attempt to return everything to its original state. Return everything to where it once came, the void. Unfortunately, you start with yourself.
Amraphenson has lost the game!>Follow rabbit into the forest
3(+1): With the rabbit still in your arms, you travel into the forest. Other than someone sitting underneath one of the trees, the forest appears to be empty.
>Abandon Shino with gusto.
4: You get away from
PXShino. Far away.
> Go to the party and become the best of Trance's suitors.
1: You reject the invitations to both parties. As if you would go to anything hosted by Trance, anyway.
>Use the curse of Bob and force all participants to narrate their actions in third-person, or suffer the fate of excessive hair growth.
2: You try to force all the other participants to narrate in the third person, only to find that they refuse to listen to you.
> Create Touhou 14 featuring Loli Macuilxochitl as Stage 6 boss.
5: You create Touhou 14, with a loli Macuilxochitl starring as the Stage 6 Boss. It's a huge success, and your new-found fame gives you a big boost in confidence. (+1 roll)
You're about to be eaten by a giant fish! Roll to dodge!JOB- 2: You're too busy laughing at Purvis too notice the oversized fish behind you. You barely escape with your life. (Wounded)
Pesco- 3: After having punched a rabbit in the face, punching a fish can't be too different, can it? It turns out that it can, especially if the fish is several times your size. You tire yourself out by continually punching the fish, but at least it's going away now. (-1 roll)
Purvis- 5: You've managed to retain your hobo stench, and this by itself is enough to deter the fish from coming near you. You gain popularity as people crowd around you to avoid the fish. (+1 roll)
TranceHime- 2(-1): You're too busy pouting over how somebody else held a party at the same time as you to notice that a giant fish is about to crush you and your guests.
TranceHime has lost the game!Kilgamayan- 4: You have no time to deal with some pesky fish, you have a bird to save. You roar at the fish and it goes off in search of other prey.
Hero999- 6(Wounded): You're still recovering from Cirno's attack when, out of nowhere, a giant fish comes to eat you! You resign yourself to your fate when Cirno stands between yourself and the fish and creates a giant ice barrier to prevent the fish from passing. You ask her why she saved you, her enemy. "Can't have you be beaten but anyone but me!"
Conqueror- 5: You take out your gun and shoot it gangsta-style at the fish. It's impossible for you to miss, as the fish is so big, and eventually the fish gets tired of eating lead.
Infinity- 1: Youkai Jesus drops you and starts running. You can't do much about the fish, since you're just a sword.
Infinity has lost the game!DollS- 6(+1): The fish is nowhere near a match for your doll army, fleet, and air force. In fact, you even manage to take off bits of the fish to upgrade your own dolls with the ability to operate in water.
Momijibot- 2(-1): You're too busy examining yourself to notice that you've just been eaten by a fish.
Momijibot has lost the game!Youkai Jesus- 2: You wish you hadn't released your Helepolis Train Mount into the wild, you drop everything and run like hell. You trip and hurt yourself in the process, but that's a small price to pay in exchange for getting away from the fish. (Wounded)
Rikter- 5: Having been empowered by the blood you just tasted, you carry your ostrich to safety. It's a rather good workout. (+1 roll)
Schezo- 5: You offer the fish PX's body instead of your own. You watch with twisted pleasure as PX is eaten for the second time today. (+1 roll)
Tapsa- 1: Damn it, you're hopelessly lost! You simply give up. You don't care anymo- What the hell is that a giant fish and why is it about to fall on you?!
Tapsa has lost the game!Squawkers- 6: As the one who summoned the fish, you have full control over it. The fish carries your body around as it terrorizes everybody else.
ActionDan- 2: You fly into the fish, ramming it with your body and breaking every other bone in your body. And then you realize that you have your dinosaur army, and use them to fight off the fish. (Wounded)
German Flower Youkai- 1: You enter the topic just in time to see the jaws of an oversized fish.
German Flower Youkai has lost the game!Zengar- 2: You call out to your Mind Flayer overlords to help you in your time of need. There is no response. You are slapped around by the fish. (Wounded)
Smashy- 5(+1): You adjust your monocle and laugh heartily with the fish. You didn't know that fish could laugh.
Guardian Tempest- 1: You fire every howitzer at your disposal at the fish, only to realize that you have no ammunition.
Guardian Tempest has lost the game!Kasu- 1: You easily dice up the fish into tiny pieces with your legendary blade. That was what was supposed to happen, anyway.
Kasu has lost the game!Marokuu- 6: With your newly found ability to float, you swim alongside the fish and the two of you begin to form a connection between each other.
Kitten4u- 3: You give the fish your KittenStare
TM to stop it from attacking you. The fish stares back at you before running away. You sigh in relief before wondering whether or not you really are that scary. You feel somewhat depressed. (-1 roll)
Chaore- 4: Fortunately, you're still flying through the air after having set off Dormio's bombs, too high for the fish to reach.
Sect- 5: You give the fish an angry look for distracting you from staring at the topic. The fish backs off. You never knew you could command fish like that. You feel accomplished. (+1 roll)
Tsunade Gakudan- 4: The oni easily dispatch of the fish before it poses a threat to your party.
Hanged Hourai- 2: You have no idea what people are talking about when they scream about a fish attacking them. Instead, you decide to try out your own candy, and choke on it. You probably shouldn't have tried to eat something after having almost hanged yourself earlier. (Wounded)
Sanrisa Laser- 5: You simply kick the fish away, just like what you did to Chaore.
DrRawr- 2: You hide from the fish, but the delicious aroma of bacon lures the fish to your location where it promptly tries to eat you. You wrestle your way out of the fish's mouth, but not without feeling sick and losing your nice smell. (Wounded)
PXShino- 4: You attempt to grab the fish's boobs. The fish runs from you.
DracoOmega- 1: You retreat to the shelter of your secret lab! Or, at least, you would have if you knew where the bloody place was.
DracoOmega has lost the game!Zakeri- 4: You get the feeling that you managed to avoid something terrible happening by not going to the fancy party.
Dorian G.- 6: You continue to sit and meditate, and you enter the mind of the fish and direct it away from yourself.
Valkyrie Lupin Blitzer- 5:
You insult the fish's mother. The fish runs away, crying. You find this amusing. (+1 roll)
Paper Tomoe- 6: With the rabbit's help, you easily outsmart and avoid the fish. In fact, you manage to take a chunk of the fish as future rations.
yuyukos- 2: You've just barely managed to get away from Shino when a giant fish starts chasing you instead. You're too tired to run so, instead, you try to take it easy with the fish. Unfortunately, the fish's idea of taking it easy seems to involve eating you. You barely make it out alive. (Wounded)
rdj- 1: Despite the fact that you said you wouldn't attend Trance's party, you ended up going there anyway to see how you could sabotage it. You are crushed along with the rest of the party by the fish.
rdj has lost the game!Evans in Blunderland- 1(+1): You throw your new fans at the fish. You manage to scare away the fish, but can't help but feel as though a part of you died when you abandoned your fanbase. Oh, wait, that was just one of the fans stabbing you as you threw them. (Wounded)
