Koakuma's Writer's Parlour ~ Have some tea and discuss fiction and writing here!

[Nobu]

Oh, by the way - something everyone would do well to keep in mind, especially Deathshot.

All characters at some point started as OCs. It takes a lot of effort to get them to become accepted, and they only become canon when they earn fans.

Unless you've built yourself up to the point that ZUN has, where he can basically sketch out a random character, write a quick backstory, and BAM-fanbase.

[Esifex]

Unless you've built yourself up to the point that ZUN has, where he can basically sketch out a random character, write a quick backstory, and BAM-fanbase.

Lolhijiri :derp:

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

EDIT: Also, this fic now actually has a plot line. Problem is, with an actual storyline, I cant just have it be the "Random Hilarious Situations" I planned it to be. God dammit. Should I keep the plot, ot let it be?

Go with the storyline. If nothing else, you have a plan now, and it narrows the question of "What the hell do I do next?" down to "How do I get from point A to point B?"

[DeathShot Catharsis]

DeathShot Catharsis, taking criticism is a vitally important skill, but it is definitely one you can practice. Hardly anybody starts out finding it fun, you know? The best advice I know is to try and deal with your feelings separately from it. When you first read the criticism and you get upset, leave it for a while and go handle that feeling. Distract yourself, cheer yourself up, or sulk, cry, punch a pillow, rant to someone you can trust; don't suppress it, don't dwell on it, get it out of your system. Then go back and look at the crit again when you're feeling better.

I know...One thing I read said not to react immediately, as you're usually in "post-crit shock" and will say something stupid.

...Especially since you've said yourself that the reason behind the creation of your OCs is essentially that you want to fix a major characteristic of Touhou that you don't like. But you must realize that most of your audience here are fans who do like that characteristic, often quite a bit. You're going to have a hard time convincing anyone your fix is a good thing until you have something to show for it. _{Honestly, I completely relate to not wanting to do yuri, I can sympathize with not liking it in a fandom where it's omnipresent, but that response seems odd to me too. Is there a reason why every girl needs to be in a relationship in the first place? I don't get you sometimes, fandom.}

Uh......, I haven't made an OC for every girl. Over 20 of them gave escaped harm: Mostly girls I don't really care about (The Aki sisters, Parsee, Yaname, Hina) or the Pc-98 chars 9I have pledged to never mae OC's for any of them except Reimu, Marisa, and Yuka).

[Esifex]

Something to consider, too - not every girl REALLY needs a man. Doesn't mean a man won't pursue her, but she doesn't have to be receptive.

My view on Alice screams 'bachlorette for life', be it with a male or female partner. Doesn't mean I wouldn't turn my charm and sexy super sexy baritone sauve-ness up to eleven around her. A for Effort, you know.

[Iced Fairy]

Something to consider, too - not every girl REALLY needs a man. Doesn't mean a man won't pursue her, but she doesn't have to be receptive.

As odd as it may be with me writing a romantic VN script I always despise it when a character needs a relationship, or is tossed into one just to fill up a slot.  I try very hard to avoid shipping for it's own sake (something I'm terrible about) and to make sure that characters enter into relationships because that's what they want to do.

Another thing I do my best to avoid is having characters only revolve around one other character, barring shorts of course.  They need to have an independant web of interactions if at all possible (you don't make it easy Koa!).  That's one of the things thats tying up my Maribel/Renko story (and will tie it up for some time...)

(Note these are just idle rambling and are in no way directed at anyone, save perhaps myself.)

[Hieda no Aya]

Yeah, that's more what I meant; it may not be literally every girl who's getting a boyfriend. And, c'mon, you've gotta admit, arguing that falls a bit flat when a) the number you cite of girls you don't have OCs for is substantially lower than the number of OCs you've cited, and b) you admit that most of those are characters you're just not interested in to begin with. It's more like "Why does every girl you want to focus on need to be in a relationship?"

But that is my perspective as someone who's generally not into shipping in general. I find most romances pretty boring -- and the ones I do like, I find, are ones I can see as natural outgrowths of the characters' pre-existing interactions. So pairing characters off for the sake of pairing characters off is rather unappealing to me. (Actually, as far as Touhou goes, the fact that there's absolutely nothing I ship* is a little unusual, especially since I usually lean towards yuri. The whole series just seems so asexual to me, and unromantic too, and I'd hate to muck that up.)

But I realize that that's... ahem. Not everyone's feeling, to say the least, in this fandom or any other. Besides, it's not like merely having romance makes a story automatically bad (although my preferences mean that poorly done romance turns me off lightning quick). 'Scool.

_{* Technically, there are a couple pairings that I like, but I don't consider myself to ship them; they're nice, but at the end of the day I'm still happier with the whole world being platonic.}

[Coin Spire]

Good day, and thanks for answering my question in my last post.

Anyway, I'm experimenting with this certain style of : present-flashback-present narration in my writing.

My main problem is when to use it, when it is over-used, and when it lacks context that it confuses the reader. Any tips? I would be thankful.

[Esifex]

I'm sorry, I'd need an example of this. Do you mean a 'present-tense flashback'?

[Bias Bus]

Something to consider, too - not every girl REALLY needs a man. Doesn't mean a man won't pursue her, but she doesn't have to be receptive.

My view on Alice screams 'bachlorette for life', be it with a male or female partner. Doesn't mean I wouldn't turn my charm and sexy super sexy baritone sauve-ness up to eleven around her. A for Effort, you know.

As much as I'm in the same boat as you DeathShot, this. Pushing it will only make things seemed forced and that will most likely kill interest.

I'll use Mystic Mutation for an example; I have about 3 male OCs in it as of now (The manticore Gao-san, the tiger who is unnamed for now, and the pheonix Suzaku). I could easily pull them all off and stick them with Yumemi, Chiyuri and Rikako in that order, but I choose to weave the story including them first. Let the reader see who these guys are and get a feel for them first (as said before).

[Iced Fairy]

Good day, and thanks for answering my question in my last post.

Anyway, I'm experimenting with this certain style of : present-flashback-present narration in my writing.

My main problem is when to use it, when it is over-used, and when it lacks context that it confuses the reader. Any tips? I would be thankful.

Up until the final chapter I think you were doing it perfectly.  I'm not sure you can overuse it, since your story was set up from the beginning to include flashbacks, so the reader is expecting them.  Of course the flashbacks have to be interesting on there own, but that's true of any block of writing.

The confusion came in the last chapter.  Your flashbacks need to have a way of conveying when they are.  I couldn't tell when that dream was in relation to the other flashbacks, or if it was a dream on it's own (in which case duplicating the flashback's visual style was probably the error.)  The other flashbacks were fairly clear as to their chronological order (though it helps that I know MS).

Still it's only a small thing.  I expected it'd be cleared up in one of the later chapters.  Just keep track of which of your flashbacks don't give a good indication of when they happened and use the ones that are well set up to keep them organized.

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

Yeah, I'm not even gonna start on how shipping with OCs is playing with fire. It's possible to do it well, but it's the kind of thing where if you posted it on Fanfiction.net or whatever, some idiots would flame you for it even if you were the second coming of Shakespeare. It doesn't automatically make them Marty Stus, but it's the kind of thing that raises red flags.

Shipping between OCs, now ... mmmm, yaoi

[DeathShot Catharsis]

Shipping between OCs, now ... mmmm, yaoi

.....To be sadly honest, my Yaoi Fanboy means I have indulgded in this a few times. Never going to write it, though, because I'm well aware of how few  people actually want to see that.

Another thing I do my best to avoid is having characters only revolve around one other character, barring shorts of course.  They need to have an independant web of interactions if at all possible (you don't make it easy Koa!).  That's one of the things thats tying up my Maribel/Renko story (and will tie it up for some time...)

Yup, that?s one of my really big problems: When I thought all the crap I came up with in my mind, I realized that my OC?s focused basically all of their attention on one touhou girl, and no one else?even their own family. Tanner did nothing but bug Ran, despite having a shikigami (Yuji) and being a shikigami himself. Aeon did nothing but be angsty around Aya, even when he had his two brothers to go to for help. Ezio and Grigan talked with Koishi and Satori constantly, despite being brothers. Elrich barely communicated with anybody besides Remilia, despite seeing the other SDM residents every day.

?..But dealing with all these relationships can be difficult as fuck. My goals are way too ambitious.

My view on Alice screams 'bachlorette for life', be it with a male or female partner. Doesn't mean I wouldn't turn my charm and sexy super sexy baritone sauve-ness up to eleven around her. A for Effort, you know.

That?s basically what she?s written as in the fic: She goes to insane lengths to kick Giovanni out of her house, and has no interest in him (besides killing evicting him), but always fails in the end?..

[Nobu]

I'm actually tempted to continue the self-insert fic from the Weekly Writing Challenge. Though I don't know if anyone would actually be interested in reading it. :V Does this sound like anything anyone would consider actually reading?

[Esifex]

I'm actually tempted to continue the self-insert fic from the Weekly Writing Challenge. Though I don't know if anyone would actually be interested in reading it. :V Does this sound like anything anyone would consider actually reading?

Yes, and I've had the same idea for mine, too. Maybe turn it into an Origins story for the Esifex in the MotKverse (psychic german sarcastic observer)

[Jana]

I saw the self-insert contest and thought it was a pretty neat idea, but I'm already kinda doing that in RPG. :x

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

I keep toying with the idea of making an Ijiyatsu/whatever fic in which Muffin excessively tries to prank Sana, but each time fails in the face of Sana's excessive Sananess.

[Dead Princess Sakana]

I'm actually tempted to continue the self-insert fic from the Weekly Writing Challenge. Though I don't know if anyone would actually be interested in reading it. :V Does this sound like anything anyone would consider actually reading?

Please have a look at the Librarian stories and think again whether no-one wants to read self-insert stories.   :3

I for one would love to see your story continue, especially with the cut-in-use~
Same for Esifex's story~

[Jana]

I keep toying with the idea of making an Ijiyatsu/whatever fic in which Muffin excessively tries to prank Sana, but each time fails in the face of Sana's excessive Sananess.

We have some IjiFics, and now some IjiTextAdventureGames, both starring Sana. I, for one, wouldn't object to more well-done contributions~

[Coin Spire]

Up until the final chapter I think you were doing it perfectly.  I'm not sure you can overuse it, since your story was set up from the beginning to include flashbacks, so the reader is expecting them.  Of course the flashbacks have to be interesting on there own, but that's true of any block of writing.

The confusion came in the last chapter.  Your flashbacks need to have a way of conveying when they are.  I couldn't tell when that dream was in relation to the other flashbacks, or if it was a dream on it's own (in which case duplicating the flashback's visual style was probably the error.)  The other flashbacks were fairly clear as to their chronological order (though it helps that I know MS).

Still it's only a small thing.  I expected it'd be cleared up in one of the later chapters.  Just keep track of which of your flashbacks don't give a good indication of when they happened and use the ones that are well set up to keep them organized.

Thanks for the reply, I'll keep that in mind.
Chapter 5 is a little bit weak compared to others, but it's mostly because I'm still inexperienced.

[Iced Fairy]

Thanks for the reply, I'll keep that in mind.
Chapter 5 is a little bit weak compared to others, but it's mostly because I'm still inexperienced.

Sometimes chapters just end up weaker.  Especially when you've got something like exposition to give or have written yourself into a corner.  You just have to do your best and make sure that the story as a whole moves you through that spot.

So long as the weak point isn't the beginning or the end, and so long as you keep working at it you should be able to smooth it over.

[Esifex]

So long as the weak point isn't the beginning or the end, and so long as you keep working at it you should be able to smooth it over.

Hmm. Found EverWanderers' weakness; too much exposition at the beginning, I reckon?

[Nobu]

Please have a look at the Librarian stories and think again whether no-one wants to read self-insert stories.   :3

I for one would love to see your story continue, especially with the cut-in-use~

Consider it in the queue!

Hehe, and I second the Esifex continuation too~

[Coin Spire]

Sometimes chapters just end up weaker.  Especially when you've got something like exposition to give or have written yourself into a corner.  You just have to do your best and make sure that the story as a whole moves you through that spot.

So long as the weak point isn't the beginning or the end, and so long as you keep working at it you should be able to smooth it over.

I don't have a problem with the plot right now, it's still going as planned. It's how I tell it that really makes my writing slow.

]
Especially when you've got something like exposition to give

Can someone elaborate this? I didn't quite understand...

[Bias Bus]

I'm actually tempted to continue the self-insert fic from the Weekly Writing Challenge. Though I don't know if anyone would actually be interested in reading it. :V Does this sound like anything anyone would consider actually reading?

I actually considered this too, being the piece itself had potential for continuing but I decided against it since it probably wouldn't be very interesting to others anyway. To be honest, the cut ins you used in that one shot were what got my attention, if you use those in the fic, you'd no doubt do the same to others who pass by.

[Esifex]

Can someone elaborate this? I didn't quite understand...

Exposition is when you put the storytelling on hold and explain a lot of stuff.

It'd be like giving a history of the feud between Kaguya and Mokou instead of actually describing the fight they're having on this particular day that your story takes place.

[Sen]

Tanner [...] Yuji [...] Aeon [...] Ezio and Grigan [...] Elrich [...] Giovanni

There are characters named Remilia, Patchouli, Murasa, Yuyuko, and Cirno.

Grigio [...] Yuyuko [...] Jennifer [...] Remilia [...] Christia [...] Marina

Okay seriously you need to tone that down.

[Esifex]

Heh. Magtheridon, Master of the Netherstorm! ... and his girlfriend Kim.

[Nobu]

I actually considered this too, being the piece itself had potential for continuing but I decided against it since it probably wouldn't be very interesting to others anyway. To be honest, the cut ins you used in that one shot were what got my attention, if you use those in the fic, you'd no doubt do the same to others who pass by.

But I want to see what happens if you get to Shinki. :<

I like the idea of using 'gimmicks' in fiction to spice it up and/or keep things refreshing and interesting (though nothing on the level of House of Leaves, ehehe :toot:). In the Dating Service thing way back, that's why I started using images. Also, judicious use of text formatting.

I guess i'm destined to write visual novels or something :V

[Bias Bus]

But I want to see what happens if you get to Shinki. :<

Spoiler:

I don't. Sakuya fucks shit up.

J/k

Seriously though, I might do it, but I'll have to keep a serious watch on the Sue status. I'm already pushing it with a self insert (which was justified in the weekly challenge).