Interview Dr.Yagokoro!

[Forte Blackadder]

Hello everyone, this is Fortevn. I didn't watch House so don't expect to see any reference here, I just found the picture awesome. Ok...

I somehow hit my head on the sink when using the toilet, and felt my body got sucked into the drain. Anyway, I ended up in Gensokyo and had a chance to talk with the famous genius, Doctor Eirin Yagokoro! So Doctor, can you say something about yourself?

Dr.Yagokoro: I think it'd be nicer if you didn't tell how did you come here, but well let's ignore that for the moment. My name is Eirin Yagokoro, I'm a doctor, pharmacist, and a scientist in Eientei. I won't tell you my age and you better not ask about it.

Ha ha, yes sure! Doctor, there is many arguments about your relationship with Princess Kaguya, can you tell us the truth?

Dr.Yagokoro: Of course I'm her servant. However, I also served as her tutor, guardian and advisor. You can say that our relationship is not just "respect". I myself think of Princess as my daughter, or little sister, and don't need her to care about me.

Oh, so you two absolutely trust each others (correct). We also have wind that you used Princess' power to create the Hourai Elixir, which can grant immortality. How does it work?

Dr.Yagokoro: The elixir itself is nothing but a ultimate healer. No matter how you're wounded, the elixir heals it. People says it affects soul, but well, frankly speaking, soul is nothing but advanced biological electromagnetic waves that store your memories. They need a host to control and be alive. For example, if your body explodes, and the advanced biological electromagnetic waves take another host, you can "revive". However, all living things have their own advanced biological electromagnetic waves that deflect others, so it's not easy to "take over" a host. Or in some ghost story, "possess" them. That's why when the body dies, the advanced biological electromagnetic waves go all over the place and eventually fade away. They are your memories, so if they fade, your soul dies. In some occasions the waves find a new host and take over, 99% of the time it's an infant, where the waves is still very weak. That's how you get "reincarnated". But this is extremely rare as the waves need to find a compatible body that accepts it. Think of it as radio waves, you can't just get every station's signal in one channel, right?  So yes, the body is very important. By making an ultimate healer, I can guarantee to grant you temporary immortality, it copies the advanced biological electromagnetic waves' and your body cells' structures, pastes them on something like a dust, and pushes the building rate to the max. I used the work "build", because the concepts of the Hourai elixir isn't "recreate the died cells", but "make a new one". So Hourai elixir is also the ultimate antidote. Your heart  is poisoned with incurable poison or magic? Throw it away and make a new one, problem solved. As long as the elixir has effect, you'll be healed, even if you get blasted to cosmic dust. See? Because the elixir will recreate your body and soul in something else. Everything is made from protons, even the universe. Therefore you can't die when the elixir still on date, yes? Now, about the Princess. I used the her power, "manipulation of eternity", to make the elixir's effect lasts forever...

Wait, uhm, I admit I didn't understand most of that, but basically, your elixir is healing the user from everything, and the princess' ability makes it permanent? Adding those two together, you get immortality?

Dr.Yagokoro: Precisely.

I see, it's very... informative, thank you. Now, let's move to the main topic: What do you think about powers in Gensokyo?

Dr.Yagokoro: It's mostly about the brain.

Sorry, can you be more specific?

Dr.Yagokoro: Like I said before, the advanced biological electromagnetic waves are what makes us alive. However, it's just one of the three most important factors. The others are the body and the brain. I believe you know much about computers, so I'll say it like this: The body is the mainboard and the case, the advanced biological electromagnetic waves are the power line, and the brain is the CPU, RAM, Video, Sound,... cards . The waves keep your memories, and store them in the brain, the brain operate everything you interact with via the nervous system. Most people only use five or six senses of the system only because they don't know how to use the other yet. The brain is capable to do absolutely everything to your body and the environment you're in. Like if you're weak, it forces you to produce andrenalin. If you're sick, it forced the immune system to analyze the cause and produce counter-measure. People evolve to use their brain better, and when they achieve it, control the blood flow to heal, control the heat to make fire or freeze stuff, control the proton to create objects are all possible. Unfortunately, 99% of humanity only use their brains to move, eat, have sex and read Touhou doujins.

The last one is kinda harsh... So Doctor, how many percent of the brain that we're using for all of that? And what can we do if we manage to use 100%?

Dr.Yagokoro: As you are now, at best 0,00216% of the brain is being used. When you think about a difficult problem and assume you're trying your best, no, you're still not using anymore of the brain capability, you're just make your blood flow faster. About your later question, I don't think achieving 100% is ok. It's possible, but no point. The brain is controlling everything, including your feelings and knowledge. To use 100% of it means you can do just everything you wish, plunging yourself in your own fantasy, keeping the electromagnetic waves with you and enhancing your body to be indestructible. But, at that time you'd be God, knowing everything, doing everything and turn to a perfect state of mind.

Isn't it a good thing?

Dr.Yagokoro: Actually no. People keeps living on because they have feelings and goals. They know they're imperfect and want to evolve. But if you achieve 100%, there is nothing. Let me ask you, what kind of wound is the worst?

Uhm, getting betrayed by the closest person?

Dr.Yagokoro: In other words, mental wounds, right?

Yes.

Dr.Yagokoro: That's right, feelings make us happy, sad, angry, jealous, calm, bored... and that's how we live. And we live so well because those feelings are so unexpected. When you can control your feelings, there will be no feeling. You won't get jealous when seeing your wife cheats on you, because it feels bad. You will forget about her easily by erasing your memory. What's left in you is absolute nothingness. The Void. And that's what a perfect being is. From history, there were about five or six people that achieved this state I believe.

Who?

Dr.Yagokoro: You probably know them, they were called "God" or "Buddha". Once they understood everything and took full control of their brains, they became one with the universe, the Void, or perfect being.

Eh? That sounds... uhm I can't comprehend it. So how much of the brain can you use, Doctor?

Dr.Yagokoro: Certainly more than you.

And you're saying the powers of people in Gensokyo is all about brain-controlling?

Dr.Yagokoro: Self-brain-controlling, yes. Although most of them don't know about it, they were just born with the ability you know. And because the brain has various functions, people having more control doesn't mean they're stronger, just that their ability required more processing work.

So you're the only one knew about this?

Dr.Yagokoro: No, I can say the gap youkai had a grasp about it too. Also princess Kaguya and my disciple Reisen, because I told them.

I see, so right now who is using the most brain power?

Dr.Yagokoro: The one can I think of is certainly Yakumo Yukari, and she is still trying to hone her ability. I wonder if she can be as closest to a perfect being as so-called "Gods"? I guess that she doesn't want to abandon her feelings, so she may just end it at 99%. Still a long way to go, though.

I see, so Yukari is the most powerful right now... can you tell us more about her ability, "Manipulation of Boundaries"?

Dr.Yagokoro: Sure. At first, I believe she can just create gaps to travel, like the theory of wormholes. This seriously a fearsome power that manipulates "space". You know, even if you don't have any mass, it'll take some time to travel from one point to another. but with her ability, Yukari can instantly arrive there. Not to mention her gap can be controlled to keep open, she can appear in many place at the same time. This ability allows her to travel to everywhere, ignoring all kind of method to stop her. Because she doesn't need to go through barriers, walls or magic aura, she just jumps directly to her destination. That's why she's the most fearsome  youkai of all Gensokyo, your defense does nothing against her.

You mean that even if I'm sitting in a magic-covered shrine, wearing indestructible armor that enhanced with anti-youkai spells, she can still kill me?

Dr.Yagokoro: By directly putting her claws inside your body and rip your heart out, yes. Even if you put a spell in your heart, she'll simply open a gap deeper.

I understand, but how about the rumors that Yukari can change boundaries of "everything"? Can she travel into a fantasy world that's not even existed?

Dr.Yagokoro: The Void is the only thing that doesn't exist. An Imagination world does exist in your head. It's created by your brain, no? As I said before, the brain is everything you need in a computer. "Making fantasy" is just a function of it. This function sometimes used to make you dream, too, but most of the time it's used when you think about something with sound, visual and interactions. That world you imagined won't just nothingness, it's a wave of signals your nervous system produced and can be stored in another place of the brain. Yukari, with her ability, can no longer only twist the space. Because long time ago, she realized much interesting thing about her "gaps". I don't expect you to understand, but it seems like she can use "space" to twist even "light", "time" and "signals".

Can you say it more clearly?

Dr.Yagokoro: Basically, light is what the universe define "time". If you can travel at the speed of light, you travel in time to the future. However, with her ability, she without a doubt can travel even faster than light. And at the very moment she does it, she gained infinite mass with zero volume, thus making herself become a negative being. Not just that, she bends the space physics law and gives light a negative number as well. When it happens, everything in the universe reverses. Yukari had already experienced that and you can see how she gained eternal youth and beauty.

But doesn't it make her go in reserve as well? How can she still remember anything?

Dr.Yagokoro: The trick is in her ability. I already said what create a being is body, brain and advanced biological electromagnetic waves. The brain and the body is made by cells, so if she can copy her own waves and cells structure somewhere else, she can transform back even if she get reversed in time. Of course, she will keep them somewhere none can find, like a proton in some blackhole. (Looks at my face) So basically, she stores her figure and memories somewhere, then reverse time, then take them back and become what she was before reversing time. That's how she travel through time.

I don't really understand it, but it sounds... badass. With that ability, she can even reconstruct herself anytime, it's the same as the Hourai Elixir's theory.

Dr.Yagokoro: You can say that, right now Yakumo Yukari can probably do anything she wishes to, immortality is just a child play to her. Maybe she can already twist the space so hard that to make a transformation wormhole, not that I applause it.

A what?

Dr.Yagokoro: A transformation wormhole. You know, the one that have portals in different sizes.

Uhm you mean the door she goes in is smaller or bigger than the one she goes out? How is that different?

Dr.Yagokoro: Wormholes don't have different portals' size. They need to be exactly the same so anything comes in comes out at their original size and shape. However, if she make the come-out portal bigger, then she's basically making herself and everything going through that gap bigger. Right now she's just a virus compared to Earth, but if she makes a gap that fits her hand, and the other gap that as big as the Sun, she can become big enough to place the Sun in her hand. This is most serious matter, because it will change everything going through that gap. Her body is supposed to create from particles like proton, neutron, electron that's so small and can't be divided. But by enlarging herself, all those stuffs are also getting larger. To the point that a proton can bee  as big as a ball. We all know that the smallest thing, atom, is created by protons, neutrons and electrons, and those are indeed the base of everything. But what if they're as big as a ball? Can you chop them in half? Yes you can! But what's going to happen? Can you find anything inside them? Or perhaps, can you discover that the base is actually created by something else? Like a quark? Can you chop down even those quarks? Not to mention those particles holds electric charge, and with the mass increased, of course there will be changes. Oh dear, can you even IMAGINE what's going to happen? (she seems to be in heat)

Uhm Doctor Yagokoro, I don't wish to continue this conversation...

Dr.Yagokoro: I completely understand.

Thank you. So that's what Doctor Yagokoro Eirin said about Yakumo Yukari. Did you find it helpful? Or interesting? Whatever, I don't even understand half of that!
Next time, we'll ask Doctor Yagokoro Eirin even more about Gensokyo's powers and myths! Prepare yourself!!!!!


Note: All of these are not to be confused with actual science or Touhou canon, they're just a fanmade fiction by a NEET.

[Forte Blackadder]

Hi everyone this is me again! I'm reporting from the outside of the Bamboo forest of Lost. Standing beside me is none other than the famous, intelligent, beautiful Doctor Yakogoro Eirin! Hello Doc, how're you today?

Dr.Yagokoro: Very good, thank you.

So we are here, the Bamboo Forest. Can you tell us something about this famous place?

Dr.Yagokoro: This is indeed an interesting place. The bamboo trees grow constantly in positions that can confuse your direction sense. As you know, people use light and memory to track their way, so no matter how far you go, you can always go back. However, the bamboos in this forest grow just high enough to partly hide sunlight, thus make you lost the sense of "time". If you know the time and the direction of the sun, you can easily tell where is the West and East, right? But in here, it's hardly the case. One more thing, there is no path or road or valley in the forest, the ground is flat and indistinguishable everywhere. And because the trees grow with distances between, there is many "ways" you can choose. It's a trick to the mind. From ancient time, creatures often depend on an existing law, and walk on an existing road. That's why when you're lost, you tend to move on the path you already knew. But there is no such thing in this forest. Everywhere is the road, there is no wall, but there is no route either. The trees grew so magnificently side by side, prevent you from looking farther than 20 meters. It's universal that you can escape from a maze by just walking straight, however you will always have to turn slightly when bumping into a tree, thus make you lose your track... I dare say once you get in there, it's unlikely to escape.

So this is a natural maze?

Dr.Yagokoro: I admit I tweaked it a bit.

Can you say it more clearly?

Dr.Yagokoro: I moved some bamboo trees slightly to make a perfect eight trigrams formation. According to ancient Chinese, everything has its own yin and yang, dark and light, support and deflect themselves to create the life's balance. This is most correct. I made Eientei as the centre of the maze, and rebuilt the forest as a combination of eight parts. Each part has one gate to go in and out, also connect to each others. For each hour of a day, the forest have four Gates of Death and four Gates of Life. If you go to the Death, you will never find a way out, if you go to the Life, you can escape and move on. The trick is to use light and environment to confuse the direction sense. If you want to go to Eientei, you have to move though 8 parts when they are in Life state. There is only one route at a time for this, and in one day, this route can change from 64 to 4096 times depends on the weather and other factors like wandering beasts. Even if you understand the concepts and know the way, you need to spend at least 24 hours to finally reach us.

I think there were similar mazes in the history... But nonetheless, as expected from Doctor Yagokoro! However, is the maze actually helping in Gensokyo? I mean everyone can fly here, can't they just fly from the outside and drop in front of Eientei?

Dr.Yagokoro: True. I already thought of that, and created a barrier around Eientei. It does nothing but reflect the light and make everyone seeing Eientei from above see nothing but another part of the bamboo forest. The barrier doesn't protect, so it won't deflect any object or magic throwing in, the intruder must set foot inside the barrier to see Eientei. The barrier is as high as the trees, to flying around won't take them anywhere.

But isn't Eientei in the middle? Can't they just fly to the middle and land?

Dr.Yagokoro: I did say Eientei is the center of the maze, but being the center doesn't mean it has to be in the exact middle of the maze.

So you're saying Eientei is just the final destination? It can be anywhere in the forest? And you must walk to get there?

Dr.Yagokoro: That's right. However, it only applies to new comers, because if you're in the forest, or having come to Eientei long enough, the maze is probably useless. It still takes time to see us, but you at least won't get lost and die somewhere. Also, I believe we have a nice guide around here.

Oh yes, talking of her, what do you think of miss Fujiwara no Mokou?

Dr.Yagokoro: She is an important existence in our life, or more exact, my Princess' life.

I heard they're bitter enemy and think of none but killing each others?

Dr.Yagokoro: They used to be, yes. But both of them are smart enough to know the killing is pointless, as they're immortal already. Also after a thousand years, such grudge had faded away. Fujiwara doesn't pay us a visit, but I saw her talking with the Princess sometimes. They usually fight, but it's more than a game. Well, I think they're more or less friends. Fujiwara is really the only one that Princess doesn't hide anything from. *sign* I wish she would speak to me that openly...

So the servant-master relationship is still around in Eientei?

Dr.Yagokoro: Of course, we're royal for most of our lives, it's impossible to change. It's like you can never speak to your dad in a buddy-buddy tone, something like "Yo, fucker, how's the shit today?"

Er Doc, I don't think you should say that...

Dr.Yagokoro: Just an example.

O...kay... now regarding the relationship between princess Kaguya and Fujiwara no Mokou. Do you think those two can become friends? Like, hanging together and all?

Dr.Yagokoro: I'd love to see that too, but no, not yet. Even though her hatred is no more, but Fujiwara had already seen the Princess as an enemy for too long. They can sit down and have a tea like everyone, but hanging out? May happen in the next five hundreds years. If you ask me, I can say their relationship at the moment is like that of Downtown's.

Downtown?

Dr.Yagokoro: Yes, the comedy duo, Matsumoto Hitoshi and Hamada Masatoshi. They have great respect and feelings towards each others, but their don't want to have a natural conversation. It's too awkward for them.

Oh, but Downtown get along so well in their shows.

Dr.Yagokoro: Yes, for the Princess and Fujiwara, their "shows" are their fights. Apart from that, they'd like to avoid each others as much as possible. Of course, I can feel their care for each others, but I doubt Fujiwara would rush in Eientei when she hears the Princess has a cold. But nevertheless, Fujiwara no Mokou can't continue living without Houraisan Kaguya, and vice-versa. They'll be bored so much they stop thinking. If that happens, we'll be having an ever-lasting corpse.

It sounds sad...

Dr.Yagokoro: Doesn't it? I have a plan to invite Fujiwara over to celebrate Tewi's birthday, you can come and see.

Eh? Is Tewi's birthday near?

Dr.Yagokoro: No, she lived too long she forgot her birthday, but to that kid every day can be her birthday. I swear I heard she planning to celebrate Princess' unbirthday before...

Unbirthday?

Dr.Yagokoro: Yes, in one year you have one birthday and 364 unbirthdays... I don't know where she got that from but sounds fun, no?

Very nice (in Borat's voice). Thank you very much for your time, Doc!
This concludes my second report from Gensokyo, I wish you found this helpful. No? Interesting? No? Oh well, it doesn't matter anyways. Leave your creative comments in the box below and ask Doctor Yagokoro anything! I'm Fortevn and I approved this message:

HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY TO US!

Note: All of these are not to be confused with actual science or Touhou canon, they're just a fanmade fiction by a NEET.

[Kips McKipzerson]

HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY!