It was a cold winter morning, in a time before the Light. It was a perfect day for a refreshing cup of tea, or so the Touhou girls thought. They started setting up their picnic blanket and their thermos? of tea on top of a plateau overlooking the sea. The breeze was nice and the sun was dancing between the wisplike clouds in the sky. Utsuho supplied the tea, brewed by the fires of Sol itself. Reimu brought snack cakes that she made in the shrines bakery, infused with the power of holy sanctification. Yukari didn?t bring shit because she didn?t feel like it and the other two didn?t feel like pressing the matter. As they sat down to enjoy their tea time, three members of the Dragonball Z crew were flying by. Bardock, Frieza and Broly stopped when they smelled tea in the air.
?TEA?!?! WHAT KIND OF A PUSSY DRINK IS TEA?!!?? Bardock shouted, brimming with otherworldly amounts of manliness.
?WE NEED TO FIND THE PEOPLE WITH TEA AND BREAK THEM IN HALF WOOARGH!!!? Broly yelled bestially as he flexed his massive, bristling muscles.
?Oooooh I hope it?s chai tea! I love the way it soothes m-? Frieza started to say but was interrupted by stares dripping with death and hate.
?Err, I mean LET?S GO KICK THEIR ASSES!? Frieza shouted halfheartedly. Broly grunted in acknowledgement and the three soared off towards their plateau.
They arrived like the thunderhead of a massive storm. They slammed into the ground, fifty or so feet from the Touhous and their meal.
?HEY, YOU LITTLE BITCHES! NOBODY ENJOYS TEA ON MY LAND!? Bardock yelled, full of hotblooded rage, as he dashed towards them. He flew straight to the thermos of tea and threw it into the ocean.
?HAHAHAHA, NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, EH LITTLE GIRLS?!?! HAHAHAHA!? He laughed uproariously and slapped his knee, not knowing the power levels of the three he had just angered. In a flash he was thrown into the air by the massive force of a boot striking his chest. He flew a good two hundred feet into the air and looked down. His face was a mask of confusion and bewilderment as Utsuho charged up her control rod and shot him in the chest with a super compressed sun.
?What a fool to underestimate the power of nuclear fusion.? She said with a smile.
?FATHER, NO!!!!? yelled an unknown voice. In an instant Goku was there, grabbing his father?s beaten body from the air and soaring away with him.
?Tch?? Utsuho grunted as she flew off in pursuit.
?Looks like Bardock left us to finish up his dirty work, how typical.? Frieza said with more than a hint of venom.
?These are stronger than they seem, just to be safe we should use ?THAT- technique.? Broly said as he grinned broadly. The two then executed a flawless Fusion dance and became Brieza. With a yell that was one half bestial manliness and one half prepubescent faggot, they teleported up to the girls and slammed Reimus head down into the plateau. The force of the blow crushed the rock itself and Reimu was killed in an explosion of rock, dust, blood and bits of brain matter.
?Aw. I kind of liked her?? Yukari said in an uncaring manner as she pointed at Brieza.
?You. You interrupted my tea. Usually, things don?t bother me?but I won?t stand for interrupted tea.? She said, her eyes glistening with mischievous glee. With a flick of her finger she reformed the boundary between Broly and Frieza. Frieza reappeared inside of Broly, his upper body sticking out of his chest and his legs sticking out of his shoulders.
?W-WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!? MY BEAUTIFUL FIGURE!!? Frieza screamed in complete fear and agony.
?Aw, I just can?t stand to let something so ugly and pitiful walk around. Here, let me help you little one?? Yukari said as she flicked lightly at Broly and Frieza, separating the boundaries between life and death, instantly killing them.
?-sigh-. I guess I should go after Utsuho, I still want some tea..? she said lazily as she flew off in the direction they had departed in.
Utsuho and Goku fought fiercely, suspended in the air over the opening of a great volcano. Their blows rained down upon one another like the waves of a tsunami upon the rocky shore. They exchanged volleys of beams, some scoring a hit, some colliding in midair and causing explosions and some missing altogether. Utsuho was holding her own, but Goku was far too adept in one on one fighting. She was losing, albeit slowly.
?Gah, I can?t do this for much longer. He?s too quick and he hits so hard?? She said and pondered her options.
?I guess I could use my Hell and Heaven Meltdown, although if I do that here it could cause a volcanic chain reaction which would rip the world in half?? her thought was interrupted by a fairly brutal knee to the third eye.
?At any rate, it?s better than dying here to this over-muscled idiot?? she grunted as she reached into her pack and took out her Meltdown spell card. She flew up, far above the land the volcano and unleashed her spell card. Two suns, roughly the size of the moon, sped towards the volcano. As this occurred, Yukari was just arriving on the scene. She lightly landed onto the ground next to Bardock. He eyed her testily and attempted to move away, yet all he managed to do is bleed all over the ground. Yukari ignored him and watched the fight that was unfolding. If those suns hit, the world would end. That would be bad for tea lovers everywhere.
?I guess I should do something about this..? Yukari said with a yawn. She waved her hand at the two suns and reversed their boundaries so they shrank into nothingness. Then, seeing that Goku and Utsuho intended to continue, she waved her hand at them and removed the boundary between Utsuho and Goku, forcefully fusing them into Goksuho. She then walked up to them and held out a thermos saying, ?Can I have my tea now, please? I?m tired.?
Enjoy.
