Are You Ready For Some TOUHOU?

[Tengukami]

(By request of Matsy, moving this from the Rage Thread to its own home.)

ITT: Sports commentators give spell card play-by-plays.



"Alright, now, Emboldening of Scarlet Demon is an action-packed game to start with, but when you're up against this baby here, a lot of rookies freeze up and get sacked. You don't have a hitbox here, right? So you have to keep it steady because look, here, here, and especially here, you can run into some problems and BAM - you're done, game over. The best thing this player can do right now is stay in this column here, bob and weave, stay focused, and he should be able to make it to the end zone. Bob?"

[Janitor Morgan]

(Also moving the response to the above here by Matsuri's request.)

"That's true, John, but there are times when you need speed, like with this baby here."



"See, with this, you get attacked from this direction, and they don't stop coming. What you gotta do is move quickly, and know that you've got a bit of wiggle room. A lot of rookies think that they have to give it a wide berth, and then they get cornered and sacked. Once you know you can squeeze by, it gets easier to run for a touchdown. Back to you, John."

[Myschi]

I love both of you so much right now.

[Marin The Magus]

Would you two marry me? pleeeeease? xD xD xD

[Tengukami]

"Thanks, Bob. Alright, now over here we got Double Spoilers, and this is gonna put offense on the offensive. Unlike your regular plays, what the player has to do is get close to the opposing team. And look at her - she looks pretty mean! Now, defense is going to come at you with these falling shape thingies and it looks pretty tough, because up here, look - it's all packed together! There's no hole for the offense, and that normally spells bad news BUT, whoosh, down here? Wide open spaces. Offense can stay alive if it hangs back and relies on long forward passing and ZOOM, touchdown."

[Ryuu]

ilu so much

[communist unity (comm-unity)]

I have made a terrible thing.

[Hanged Hourai]

Speechless.
Just speechless.
In a good way of course.

[Aba Matindesu!]

This is made of pure awesome...

Really.

[Schezo]

Speechless.
Just speechless.
In a good way of course.

[Chronojet ⚙ Dragon]

This is made of pure awesome...

Really.

[Aba Matindesu!]

Someone, anyone, please do Gengetsu Raep Tiem.

[Reddyne]

Where are my X and O danmaku?

Also, whoever is on the jewel case for Touhou 13 will have a sub-par season for the first six weeks and then tear an ACL. For the rest of the year, her team won't live up to expectations.

[?q]

Where are my X and O danmaku?

In Tsukiko's second post.
I don't think both the Xs and Os should all be moving down though.

[♛ Apher-Forte]

I totally wish to subscribe to your sports channel.

[Reddyne]

In Tsukiko's second post.
I don't think both the Xs and Os should all be moving down though.

That's just the thing. Individual X and O bullets that can run a post pattern while the other blitzes.

[Hello Purvis]

Wow. Something good came of the Rage thread.

[Cadmas]

I have made a terrible thing.

The 3DO XD

[Janitor Morgan]

I have made a terrible thing.

FUND IT

---



"And here we've got Perfect Cherry Bomb'em, which is appropriately named if you look at how much stuff is flying everywhere -- it's like an explosion. This particular play, John, I consider to be unfair -- look at how many extra players are there! And they throw all sorts of junk outward, so there's no clear path to the end zone. You gotta weave through the gaps, and if you look here, the gaps can be too close for comfort, and you can still make it through. Just keep pushing through the enemy line, and go for the goal."

[Helepolis]

This thread is approved for Charisma. Someone needs to make a movie out of this with narration in THAT style.

[Alice★f]

Mmmmm...

In the mood to play Touhou again.
Need to repay a visit to Koishi. Never beat her.

[JEV3]

Sweet, let me know when this is up on youtube. :3

[Tengukami]

(Did somebody say "charisma"?)



"Now, a few seasons back you may remember this contender, Remilia Scarlets. A total unknown in the business, she played great defense in Season 6. Well, she's in this to win this, Al. She came back just two seasons later to play offense! Now, a lotta people think Season 8 was a little weak, and defense was poor, but in this highlight here you see it wasn't always a walk in the park. This ... bunny girl here, she comes at ya with the rope-a-dope, bobbin' and weavin' so fast it's hard to even keep up. But Scarlet here held her own against this and wasn't fooled by the fancy footwork, Al. Any seasoned player will tell you that going against this play is all about staying in mid-field. I think we'll be seeing more of this firecracker. I don't think she's ready to hang up her jersey yet."

[IBakaChan]

; u;

[Alice★f]

That was...

...perfect.

[Thata no Guykoro]

This thread is beautiful.

[Teewee]

This is pretty cool

[Tengukami]

Y'all are free to jump in with your owns, too!

[Myschi]

This thread is beautiful.

[IBakaChan]

"And now to our evening special, for the Rookie Players!"

"Welcome! We'll go straight to the point! Cirno, or "Nine" as she's called by the fanatics, is one of the rookies of the sixth season. And in seventh, she slipped down and was benched through out most of the other seasons too. This here shows exactly how the rookie defenders aren't supposed to do. She's shooting out to the left and right, taking a good start, but then closing up to leave a blank spot right before herself! And that ain't good! Because this here Marisa is one helluva charger! Going right in for the kill by going aggresive for the start... Let this be a reminder to y'all aspiring pros'. Don't be a Nine!"