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Author Topic: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)  (Read 8232 times)

Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
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  • I said, with a posed look.
Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
« on: October 22, 2010, 01:11:39 PM »
http://tengukami.blogspot.com/2010/10/out-of-breath-chapter-1.html

Inspired by the TARC thread "What if the Great Hakurei Barrier was never put up?"

And for the first time, I'm being a little braver and writing this as I post it. No outlines, no idea what happens next, just writing as I go. I hope you enjoy it.

EDIT: Just realized it's a full moon today, too!

Link to chapters in this thread:

Chapter 2
Chapter 3
« Last Edit: October 28, 2010, 04:54:53 PM by Tsukiko »
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"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Matsuri

Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2010, 02:01:04 PM »
Man, that was quite a way to start. I look forward to reading more. =O
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Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
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  • It shall rise again
Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2010, 02:08:55 PM »
I now demand that someone draw Kaguya and Eirin sitting at Denny's. Bonus points for their usual outfits, but not required.
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Dan-Heron

  • Evil Chibi-Dan -doesn't bite-
Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2010, 03:19:35 PM »
well, the premise is interesting enough, and you already managed to get me interested with the mental image of their little apartment. Always liked the Contemporary tag over the booru.
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so much evil it's poisonously healthy!

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nolrai2

Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2010, 04:01:32 PM »
Beautifully sad.
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I have...a terrible need...shall I say the word?...of religion. Then I go out at night and paint the stars.

Jana

  • mrgrgr
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Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2010, 04:22:47 PM »
Quote
[11:10]   <Tengukami>   Also, Jana, if you want to share your thoughts about the story, feel free to post them in the thread.
[11:10]   <Jana>   The mere idea of Eirin and Kaguya eating at Denny's appeals to me greatly for some reason. :)

And, of course, that I'm looking forward to more. :>
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Seian Verian

  • Snuggledragon
  • Snuggles for everyone
Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2010, 09:24:30 PM »
Whoa. This is... Awesome. I definitely want to see more of this.
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Sect

Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2010, 06:04:56 AM »
Makes me think of the doujin "Hourai Daybreak".
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Momiji

  • Cya
Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2010, 08:26:25 AM »
This makes me hope they're real.  =[

Spoiler:
Please write more!
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Iced Fairy

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Re: Out Of Breath
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2010, 05:04:35 PM »
(Heh, I switch to planning and you switch to publishing as you go.)

A great start as others have said.  Once again I see a lot of potential here for all sorts of interactions.  Especially given the players that can enter the field.
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Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
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  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 2
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2010, 01:35:25 AM »
http://tengukami.blogspot.com/2010/10/out-of-breath-chapter-2.html

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. It's a lot of fun going without an outline. I don't know where Kaguya and Eirin are. I know who will show up. But that's about it.
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"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

nolrai2

Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 2 Is Up
« Reply #11 on: October 25, 2010, 02:37:20 AM »
Wow..I.. that is something.  Something I want more of.
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I have...a terrible need...shall I say the word?...of religion. Then I go out at night and paint the stars.

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 2 Is Up
« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2010, 04:37:56 PM »
I love how you pull off first-person narrative, that's really something else man. Very good.

I especially like the concept of Kaguya dozing off while floating around.
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Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up
« Reply #13 on: October 28, 2010, 02:21:27 PM »
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"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

nolrai2

Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up
« Reply #14 on: October 28, 2010, 03:54:37 PM »
YAY!
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I have...a terrible need...shall I say the word?...of religion. Then I go out at night and paint the stars.

Esifex

  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
« Reply #15 on: October 28, 2010, 06:51:16 PM »
:>

So the premise behind this story isn't 'After Gensokyo's barrier dissolved/Kaguya and Eirin leave Gensokyo', but rather 'Kaguya and Eirin never went to Gensokyo to begin with'?

Ah, well. I can dig it.
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Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
« Reply #16 on: October 28, 2010, 08:17:37 PM »
Yeah, this is going on the premise that the Hakurei Barrier never went up; how the Lunarian cast and related characters would manage.
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"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Serena

Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
« Reply #17 on: October 28, 2010, 08:18:29 PM »
I thought the idea was "nobody was ever in Gensokyo to begin with"...?

EDIT: Ah, ninja'd  ::)
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Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
« Reply #18 on: October 28, 2010, 08:20:43 PM »
Quote from: Tsukiko on October 22, 2010, 01:11:39 PM
Inspired by the TARC thread "What if the Great Hakurei Barrier was never put up?"

But don't let that stop you from having your own interpretations. The more the merrier!
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"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Iced Fairy

  • So like if you try to hurt alkaza
  • *
  • I will set you on fire k'?
    • Daisukima Dan Blog
Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
« Reply #19 on: October 28, 2010, 09:25:55 PM »
Oh of course.  Reisen.  How could I have forgotten.  I guess I just associated her with Gensoukyo.

And it seems like the group unconcious has moon invasion on the mind.  :)  I look forward to seeing yours, no matter how it pans out.
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Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Out Of Breath: Chapter 3 Is Up (28 October)
« Reply #20 on: October 28, 2010, 09:40:45 PM »
Reisen's story always interested me, conscientious objector that she is.
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"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."
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