The story of Huziwara no Mokou (Updated 1/13)

[Smallfry]

(This is my first story. Constructive criticism would be much appreciated.)
700 AD: Birth

She was born into a small village, no larger than a few patchwork huts. No one had expected to her to be unusual in any way. You could say her father was the richest man in the village, for he owned a small field of corn plants, and a few dairy cows. It wasn't a spectacular area, the village was in a clearing in the forest, with trees leading off into places unknown at every angle. Not too far was also a creek, flowing steadily day and night, where the people fished.

Mokou learned to walk very quickly. Less than 1 year old and she was already walking. Before her parents knew it, she was talking like a politician. When she was 4 years old, Mokou was taught how to fish. To wait patently for the line to droop, and to pull with all her might. She was taught how to chop wood, although she couldn't chop very much, being so young. And most importantly, Mokou thought, she was taught how to make fire. Fire fascinated her to no end. She would pretend to burn down the entire forest using her bare hands.

708 AD: Forest

"Daddy, what's in there?" Mokou puzzled as she peered into the dark depth of the forest.

"Some very dangerous things lurk in there. I will explain when you are older." Her father responded. Mokou didn't like that answer at all. After her father left, she thought and thought about what might be waiting just out of sight, waiting to grab her and-

She shook the idea away from her head. Maybe father was right... maybe I should wait until I'm older....or not! Mokou thought to herself. She began planning on how she would sneak out during the night, and go look in the forest herself. What she did not know, was that some very unpleasant creatures live in the forest.

[Blitzer]

I don't care either way if you tell us about her childhood or not, but that beginning is a tad short. Still good, though.

[Smallfry]

I don't care either way if you tell us about her childhood or not, but that beginning is a tad short. Still good, though.

Like I said, it's my first story.  So i'll try and revise it, and write it again.

[Smallfry]

Now updated!

[Smallfry]

(May as well continue this.  )

709 AD: Forest cont.

There was a party of sorts that night, to celebrate the most successful crop in 5 years. Mokou wasn't interested, and preferred to stay inside her hut whenever possible. Sometimes though, her father would come and fish her out to sing. After that party everyone was very tired. Mokou was already in bed, pretending to be fast asleep, eagerly waiting for the rest of the village to pass out. After an agonizing  20 minutes, everyone was fast asleep, all except for one little girl. Seeing her opportunity was at hand, she crept as quietly as humanly possible outside of the village. Her heart jumped when she stepped on a twig and snapped it, and froze in place. Seeing her fear was unfounded, she continued to creep deeper into the forest, farther and farther away from safety.

She was far enough away now, that she didn't need to be quiet. Was this good or bad? Mokou didn't know. She was too intrigued by the sights that lay before her. She could hear the hoot of an owl. She had heard one before, but didn't know what it was. So she kept on walking. Apart from the owl, everything was silent. Suddenly, she heard a sound like the whoosh of something flying by very fast. And then heard a soft giggle. She looked around frantically, trying to see who, or what, was there. Another whoosh. Mokou began to get nervous. More giggling. Mokou was outright terrified. She hid under a small bush, hoping whatever was there wouldn't bother her. The whoosh became louder. And louder. and louder until Mokou was so scared she had stopped moving altogether.

"Found you at last" a voice said.

[Blitzer]

Why is it that I'm the only one who's posted in here?

Anyways, it's pretty great so far. Normally it would seem rather short, but it's better to update with short bursts more often than large bursts less often.

[Smallfry]

709 AD: Meeting

"Found you at last." A voice said. Mokou couldn't see who, or what, it was. She decided if she was going to die, she may as well face her killer "like a man" as her father would say. She turned around slowly....
But what she saw greatly surprised her.

"Hi! My name is Keine! Keine Kamishirasawa! I followed you when you left that village, and then I lost you. But I found you at last!" The girl explained excitedly. She looked about the same age as Mokou, with white hair with a blue tinge. "I had been watching that village for quite a while that night. And then I saw a little girl come out! I never knew there were other kids my age around here!"

"Uh..m...my name is Mokou. Huziwara no Mokou. That village is where I live." Mokou began slowly. "W-what are you doing out here? Why were you w-watching my village?" She was obviously nervous.

"I'm out here on a walk." Keine answered casually.

"A walk? During the middle of the night? Do you have a mental problem or something?" Mokou answered, confused

"I might ask you the same thing."

"Well, I've never been in this forest before, and now was the only time I've ever been able to get out here."

"I bet it's nice having a family." Keine answered with a dreamy look  on her face.

"What do you mean? You don't have a family??" Mokou asked, very confused

".....No. I don't. I was thrown out when I was just a baby, is my guess."

"That...that is not right.... Why don't you come home with me?" Mokou offered.

"I would love to. But, I have a certain....condition...and I think your people would throw me out just like my family." Keine explained.

"Why on earth would they do that??" Mokou was getting irritated.

"I...I...I can't say right now. Let's just say this isn't the only image you'll see of me."

"Well..I need to get back now. Sunrise will be soon and I don't want to know what will happen if my dad finds me missing. You can follow if you like." Mokou offered again

"No, I'm afraid I can't follow you. But, I will stay as close to the village as possible." Keine was almost sad that she didn't want to live with Mokou. "It was really nice meeting you Mokou!" Her energy returned at last.

"Likewise," Replied Mokou. "And now, I must return. Good bye......."

"Keine. My name is Keine."

"In that case, good bye Keine. I hope to see you again someday." And with that, Mokou started walking back to the village. She would occasionally glance back to see if Keine was still there.

Mokou felt amazing. I found someone out in the forest! What are the odds! I wonder why she wouldn't tell me what her condition was? Maybe it didn't matter. I really hope I can see her again Mokou thought happily all the way back to the village.

[Blitzer]

I didn't expect Keine this early. Interesting.

[Smallfry]

I didn't expect Keine this early. Interesting.

\
That's the beauty of limited back stories, isn't it? I can make up all the junk I want and it will make sense (to an extent).

[Smallfry]

(Well, one person seems to like it at least. I got nothing better to do, either.)

714 AD: Keine

For the past five years, Mokou has snuck out at least once every week to find Keine waiting in a bush or hiding in a tree. They would discuss all kinds of things. Mokou would talk all about how her family life was, farming and chopping firewood. Keine would ramble on for hours on end about her family. Her dad was a village leader, much like Mokou's, and held most of the wealth. Her mom did all the of the cooking, while Keine and her older sister would chase frogs all day down by the creek. Mokou kept pressing on about her "condition" that supposedly got her exiled from her village. Every time they met, Mokou tried a different approach to the matter. Keine would always changed the subject immediately, and leave Mokou frustrated. This time, however, Mokou decided to take the direct approached, and push Keine until she answered.

"Alright, I'm fed up with you always avoiding telling me your condition!" Mokou wasn't about to lose this time.

"How about this weather today?" Keine tried to switch the subject, but to no avail.

"Ohhh no, you're not changing the subject on me again. Now spill it, what is this condition?"

"I...I....I... I don't... I can't.... I'll lose my only friend if I say..." She began to break down into tears.

"Whoa there. Calm down, now. It's okay." Mokou tried comforting her. She didn't have very good social skills.

"No! No, it's not okay! if I tell you, you'll just leave like everyone else!!" Keine shouted through the tears.

"I won't do that. I'm not like the other people in your life. I won't leave you because of some disease." Mokou held her pride up high.

"It...It isn't a disease. It isn't any kind of sickness or disease. It is something much, much worse."

"Come on now, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone else, you have my word." Mokou assured.

*sniffle* "Okay. Come and see me on the next full moon."

"Why, that's tomorrow. How convenient. Well, it would seem I need to return to the village. See you tomorrow, I guess."

"R-right.. s-see you.." Keine was upset about something.

Mokou was half excited, and half nervous. What is this condition? Boy, I can't wait until tomorrow to see this. She thought on the way to the village. Mokou kept thinking up wild and unrealistic ideas. What if.. she's a werewolf! Hahahaha, what a sight that would be. Mokou could hardly wait for tomorrow night.

[Myschi]

The werewolf comment made me chuckle. Good story, so far! (I've been meaning to reply but kept forgetting... )

[ArteShy]

I'm adding this to my list of the ''Perfect-stories-about-my-fav-chars''.

[Smallfry]

(Thanks guys. This being my first story, I didn't think anyone would like it.)

714 AD: "What the..."

Mokou snuck out the usually way, trying to contain her excitement. No one had been any the wiser for the past 5 years, why would they choose to look tonight? Mokou thought about this, but then forgot about when she thought about Keine. The moonlight shone brilliantly through the tree canopy. As she continued on, she was unaware of a being watching her from a nearby tree. Red glowing eyes were all that were visible against the silhouette. It darted from tree to tree like a bullet, without once making a sound. Mokou continued, completely oblivious to the being that was pursing her. She arrived at the spot where they usually met. Puzzled, Mokou looked around.

"Helloooo?? It's me, Mokou! You can't have forgotten abo- what was that?" Mokou was shouting when she heard a noise behind her. She turned around while muttering, "Keine if this is you, I swear i'm going to-" There was nothing behind her. Nothing except the ground.
Weren't there trees and bushes here before? She puzzled over the sudden absence of plants. her thoughts were scattered when there was another noise behind her. "H-hello? is anyone there?" The red eyes appeared in a tree behind Mokou. "K-Keine?? Are you there?? Where ar- GAAAHHH!!!" The silhouette pounced on Mokou and began clawing at her. Mokou couldn't make out who, or what, was on top of her. Her father had been teaching her not to panic in a situation like this. So instead, she began to get angry. Her body temperature began to rise. The ground was getting warm underneath her. The thing on top fell off in pain from how hot her skin was getting. The ground all around her was turning black. And then, she burst into flames.

"AAAHHHH!!! I'M ON FIRE!!! HELP!! HELP!!! But... wait.. it doesn't... hurt..??" Mokou was very puzzled indeed. When she managed to get her thoughts together, the flames went out. "That was......whoa... Now then, w-who are you?" She asked with a shake in her voice looking at the glowing eyes. The silhouette stepped out into the moonlight. "K...K...Keine??"

"You're lucky you had burst into flames when you did. I could have killed you." A low, gravelly voice Mokou didn't recognize replied. "It was also good I was able to regain control of myself. So, you wanted to see my condition, and here I am." the voice replied again.

"What...the....." Mokou began but trailed off. This "thing" was not Keine. Keine has silver-bluish hair. This thing had silver-greenish hair. Keine wore a nice white dress with a blue hem. This was a torn up white and green dress. There also appeared to be horns coming out of her head, one of which had a bow on it. And the glowing red eyes. Mokou stared into them with a fear the thing in front of her might eat her. "What...happened??" Mokou was at a loss for words.

"This is my condition. This is why I was cast out all those years ago. This is me. And I am a monster." Keine looked like she could have killed an entire village without any sign of remorse.

"But..how..." Mokou was struggling to comprehend what had just happened.

"I was born with it. My parents didn't see it until it was too late."

"That's...that's..." Mokou started

"Terrible? Awful? Horrific? I've heard every word you can think of." Keine looked unsurprised at Mokou.

"......Amazing." Mokou finished.

"A-am-what?" Keine almost fell over from being surprised so much. "Amazing? You aren't going to berate me? Even a little bit?"

"Hadn't panned on it. I didn't even think something like that was possible." Mokou replied normally.

"This is.. interesting. I think we'll be good friends for a long time. Now then, enough about me. What about your new found... ability?"

[Smallfry]

(Gonna keep on writing.)

714: Moon princess

"You are the only person I have ever met who didn't run away and scream or shun me or anything." Keine said, astonished.

"You're making it sound so tragic! So you turn into....that....every full moon. So what? You're a great person. That's really all I care about. Sure, having you around might come in handy once in a while..."  A low growl erupted from Keine's throat. "..Uh.. what I meant was...y'see..I..umm..."

"Save it. Now then, about your "burning" new power." Keine was referring to Mokou's sudden ability to create fire. "Judging by your reaction, I imagine you didn't know about it?"

"Of course I didn't!" Mokou was almost offended. "Do you think I'm some kind of monster?" Mokou immediately regretted saying that. She hadn't thought before she spoke, as she did often. Keine gave a blank stare. It was impossible to see the compassion and caring of the "human" Keine on her face. She turned to leave.

"W-wait! I didn't mean it-" But Keine was off like a shot before Mokou could finish the sentence. "I didn't mean it like that..." Mokou began feeling depressed. How could I have been so stupid? She thought.

The sun was beginning to rise. Oh man! I forgot! She began running back to the village. She noticed a creek coming up. She stored her energy and jumped. She soared across the creek and landed with a thud on the other side. She continued on and arrived at the village to find everyone still asleep. Whew...I'm just in time. She quietly crept into her tent. Put on a new set of clothes (Her other ones were burnt to ashes) and got into her bed. She was just about to fall asleep when her dad burst in screaming about some "Lady of the moon" as he called it. Her beauty was supposed to surpass that of the fairest lady in the land, and he was to try the impossible tasks to have her hand in marriage. Mokou grumbled and slowly climbed out of bed.

[BlackAlice]

Reading Mokou story countless time, but I don't feel bored at all =3

[Blitzer]

Well...what's going to happen next, eh?

[Smallfry]

(I am thinking of ideas for this when i'm supposed to be paying attention during math class.  )

714:  Moon Princess cont.

Mokou mumbled as she climbed out of bed. "What does this moon princess have to do with me?"

"I would like you to get acquainted with her, as she will be your new mother."

"That's great. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"No. You're coming with me. Get up and have breakfast, we leave in 10 minutes." Father's word was final.

"Hmmph. I'd love to see you try and go somewhere after being on fire." Mokou mumbled under her breath. She had some breakfast and grabbed a bag of food to take for the trip. They trudged up hills, hopped across creeks and streams, and walked for hours under the unrelenting sun. Off in the distance in the distance was the first sign of humanity in miles.

"That must be where she is." Mokou's father note excitedly.

"Finally. I can rest." Mokou was relieved.

The village looked very sophisticated, well passing Mokou's village. Trees in beautifully crafted pots were everywhere. The huts replaced with elegant houses. At the center of the village was an empty chair. That must be where this moon princess sits. Mokou thought as she eyed the chair.

"Where is she?" Mokou asked.

"She is inside right now. We'll have to find a motel or something." Mokou's father implied. They found a motel and stayed inside most of the day. Mokou fell asleep contemplating her new power. She had tried it a couple times when her father wasn't looking, but to no avail. What could it mean? I can't possibly have just been spontaneously lit on fire. Besides, it didn't hurt at all. Fire is usually very hot. I suppose i'll have to... Mokou fell asleep on that thought, quite literally.

The next day when Mokou woke up, light was shining through the windows.

"Wh...what time is it?" She asked. She looked around but her father wasn't there. "He must be meeting the princess. I suppose i'll go have a look." Mokou climbed out of bed and fished some food out of the bag. She was on her way to the center of town when someone came running passed her from around a corner, their head buried in their hands. "What the..." Mokou continued on.

After several minutes of wandering around, she saw the chair, and someone was sitting in it. A crowd had gathered around the chair, and Mokou didn't feel like being seen, so she hid around a corner, peering out into the crowd. She spotted her father with several items in front of him. One looked like a tree branch with coloured bulbs on it. She didn't pay attention to those, but rather the girl sitting in the chair. Hm. She is kinda pretty. She doesn't look much older than me, come to think of it. Oops, she's speaking. better listen up.

"I am Kaguya Houraisan. I see you have brought 4 of the 5 items of the Impossible Requests." She began.

"Yes, milady. I hope you can accept that." Mokou's father was nervous.

"I respectfully refuse your marriage request. You have failed the Impossible Requests. Good day."

Mokou's father was shocked. He couldn't move. Mokou was still hiding behind the corner when she heard this. She was very angry, and she couldn't even tell why. She didn't care about Kaguya. But suddenly she felt a burning hatred for the moon princess. She wasn't thinking straight. She charged straight back to the place where she was staying.

"How could I have failed....." Mokou's father was wallowing in self-pity.

"Oh, quit blubbering. She wasn't worth your time." Mokou still felt angry.

"How...how can you say that?" Mokou's father wasn't thinking straight either.

"There was just something about her. Something that didn't seem....right."

"Alright then. Whatever you say. No point in staying here any longer. Let's head back tomorrow." Mokou's father inquired.

"Sounds like a plan." Mokou wanted to leave this place as fast as possible. But something had piqued her curiosity. That princess has got to be hiding something. I have a hunch. I'll go out after dad falls- Look at that. he's asleep. Well then, time to go.

[Smallfry]

714: Elixir
Mokou had snuck out to see if her suspicion was unfounded. She was creeping quietly against the side of a building when she heard footsteps. She peered around the corner, and someone spotted her.

"What do you think you're doing out at this hour?" The person said. He was a burly man, and he was carrying a thick, round piece of wood.

"I was- I was going for a walk. Are we not allowed out during the night?" Mokou tried to act as innocent as possible.

"No. Kaguya's orders." The man was unmoving.

"Uh, I'll be heading back now." Mokou turned around. The man turned around and started walking away. Mokou entered her temporary house. Well, that failed. I'll need to try being more stealthy. She left the house again and started moving very slowly to avoid being caught. She had made to the edge of town, and saw a volcano off in the distance.  She could vaguely see people on it. What are they doing up there.... Time to investigate.

She stuck to the trees as she moved towards the volcano. Since it was dark, and it was a new moon, it was very hard to see. She found this to be an advantage, as she was hard to see, and a liability, as she could hardly see herself. When she go close to it, she could hear the people talking.

"...dangerous. We need to throw it in now." One man said.

What are they talking about? Mokou decided to move closer. She stepped on a twig, and her heart stopped.

"What was that?" The man had asked. Mokou quickly picked up a rock and threw it away from her. It made a satisfying thud, and the people started to move towards it. Now's my chance to ge- wha?? The box was gone. Someone else took it? She frantically looked around, and she saw floating down the opposite side of the volcano was another person. She knew what she had to do. She quietly snuck away from the people, and when she was out of earshot, she started running.

"Come back here! That's mine!!" She shouted. The person kept floating down, and eventually disappeared into the nearby forest. Mokou dove in after them. She scanned the area and couldn't find anything, so she turned around to walk out, and someone was standing right behind her. Mokou almost walked into them.

"You want this, do you?" The person said.

[Smallfry]

Ehh....am I just wasting my time? Should I continue this?

[capt. h]

I'm enjoying it.  I love Mokou stories.

Though frankly, I wouldn't do it for the view count. If I were you, I would continue if I'm making a story I like so much that I'm willing to write it so that I can enjoy reading it myself.

Do you enjoy your story enough that you would write it yourself so that you can read it?

P.S. I'll swap ideas with you if you want. Though my ideas are a bit dark for this story.

[Smallfry]

714: Elixir cont.

"You want this, do you?" The person said.

"Yes I want it!! Wasn't that obvious?" Mokou blurted. "Show your face or I'll have some ass-whooping to do." Mokou acted as tough as possible. The person stepped out into the moonlight.  Mokou was surprised at what she saw.

"Keine?? What are you doing here??" This was the first time Mokou had seen Keine since that night.

"I'm here to give you a warning. Do you know what this is?" Keine replied, no emotion in her voice. At least she wasn't a monster tonight.

"No."

"This is the Hourai Elixir. It is VERY dangerous. If you drink it, something terrible will happen." Keine cautioned.

"Oh yeah? Like what? Is it a poison?" Mokou replied.

"I'm not going to say. If you really want to know, try it for yourself. But whatever you do, do not take 3 drinks of it." After that, she darted off.

"Wait! Wait! What happens if I take 3 drinks??" Mokou called after her, but she was gone. "Well.. only one way to find out. I'll go out of town and do it." She carefully walked down, and away from the volcano, to a secluded path in the forest.

"This looks like a good spot." She grabbed one bottle out of the box, removed the cap, and drank it down. It tasted bitter, like eating tree bark. It left an awful taste in Mokou's mouth afterwords.

"Gack! This tastes like...never mind. Now for seconds." She took another bottle out and drank it. The taste wasn't so bad this time. She began to feel sick.

"One..blurp..more..." She gasped. She slowly took a third bottle out, removed the cap, and emptied it into her stomach.

"Oohh... I feel... strange...." Suddenly, a huge burst of energy erupted from Mokou's body. She screamed. As abruptly as it began, the energy stopped. Everything was quiet, and a black patch of ground lay beneath her. She tried to move, and rolled into a ditch and hit her head. She was out cold.

[Unassuming Squid]

I'd like to take a moment to drop this here.

But basically what capt. h said. Don't worry too much about the view count, do it if you enjoy it.

That said, I haven't had the time to read over this yet, but hopefully I'll be able to get around to it.

[capt. h]

Liking the fic so far. The fact that the chapters are short is definitely good for the tempo.

Constructive criticism: people don't talk to themselves to say things like "This looks like a good spot." or "Well.. only one way to find out. I'll go out of town and do it." They would, however, say: "Wait! Wait! What happens if I take 3 drinks??" Mokou called after her, but she was gone. "Well.. only one way to find out."

I like this Mokou a lot for some reason. Not at all dark. Most fanfic writers would make her irrationally vengeful by now, but they all fall into the plothole of making a character more angry than could be reasonably expected. And this incarnation is surprisingly consistent; she does things she is explicitly told not to do with enough regularity that she isn't out of character when she falls into the "Adam and Eve" trap. She is exactly the type of character that would immediately press a button specifically because it says "Do Not Press," and has maintained that personality throughout instead of being given plot-hole level stupidity at the moment of truth.

Great character building, but the "talking with herself" aspect of the storytelling could use a little smoothing out. One of the most enjoyable ones to read though, because the text isn't too dense and the story's flow is really good. Brevity is wit, and this story is really good at getting to the point.

[Smallfry]

(This is what I imagined Mokou to be like. And thanks for the constructive criticism. [To counteract your statement, I talk to myself all the time. So, I integrated that into Mokou])
714: "Where am I..?"

Mokou was lying in a bed under a thatched roof. She was awake, but her eyes didn't open. Outside she could hear an axe splitting chunks of wood into smaller chunks. She tried to move, but all she could manage was a twitch in her right arm. She slowly opened her eyes. Her eyelids felt like they had lead weights keeping them shut. It took all her energy to open them. She looked around carefully. She saw a patchwork roof directly above her, woven with leaves and branches. To her left was a pot. Mokou couldn't tell if anything was in it. To her right was a wall. She tried speaking, and only a wheeze escaped her lips. She tried again, and managed to put out a low grunt. The chopping stopped.

"Well now, you're awake!" A voice from outside called. Mokou couldn't see who it was. "I was getting worried you might stay asleep forever."

"W....w...what......what happened? Where...am I?" Mokou's speech was slow and slurred, but she managed to get the words out.

"I was out collecting  berries, and this bright flash lit up the night. So I went to check it out. I found a small black crater, and a girl lying in the ditch. It took me 2 seconds to figure out what to do next. I prodded you to see if you were awake, and you weren't, so I carried you back to my hut. That's where you are now." The stranger explained. "I imagine you must be very hungry."

He was right. Mokou hadn't realized it, but she was starving. She slowly sat up, trying to get her bearings.

"Yes...some..food would be...nice..." She struggled.

"Alright then. Hang on a little longer." The man left the hut and went outside. Mokou had no idea who this man was, or what she was doing here. The most she could remember was a princess named Kaguya. But that name didn't matter right now. Her memories were blank after that. Her body ached all over. It felt like she was plowed over by a stampede. Every little movement triggered a dull ache. Mokou was ready to pass out again when the stranger came in with food.

"Here this is an old remedy my ma taught me. Should help with the stomach pains. Now, can you tell me what happened? Can you remember anything?" The man gave the bowl to Mokou. It was foul smelling, but it tasted wonderful.

"N..no.. I can't remember....very much....How long..was..I...asleep?"

"Almost a week. I was really getting worried, even though I don't even know your name. What is your name, anyways?" The man asked.

"M..Mokou.... Hu..Huziwara...no Mokou..." She replied slowly. She took another sip.

"Mokou, eh? Thats a nice name. I'm Hiro. Hiro Shameseri. Looks like I'm going to take care of you." Hiro replied. A feeling had boiled inside Mokou. She hadn't felt anything like it before. It was a strong sense of trust towards this man who she had just met, but who had probably saved her life.

"Get some rest. I've got some more chopping to do." Hiro walked out of the hut once again Mokou lay back down on the bed.. she drifted instantly into a deep sleep.

[Smallfry]

(Runnin' out of ideas...  )

714:  Glowing Embers
Mokou dreamed about a strange woman with long flowing black hair stuck against a tree trunk, with 5 or 6 swords stuck through her belly.

"You...can't..kill...me...." She said weakly, blood drizzling out of her mouth. "I...am....forever.....I am...eternal....I am.....immortal..." Mokou could do nothing but stare at this woman, who now had a twisted look on her face.

"We....are..closer than....you....may think...." She wheezed. She then began laughing hysterically. Mokou could bare it no longer, and held out her hand, her palm facing the woman on the tree. A jet of searing fire propelled towards the woman. Within minutes, the tree was engulfed in flames. She was still laughing hysterically. Mokou fell on her knees, and began crying.

Hiro noticed Mokou was crying in her sleep, and decided to wake her up.

"Hey..hey there..wake up." Hiro pushed on Mokou's shoulder. Her eyes flew open and she sat up quickly. She instantly regretted it, because as soon as she moved, a wave of stabbing pain flew across her body, and she fell back down again.

"Whoa there! Looks like it'll be a while before you can move again. Take it slow, it ain't a race. Wait a second, let me see if I can conjure up something to help with the pain." Hiro walked outside once again.

Mokou's mind was swimming.  What had that dream been about? It tortured her, and she couldn't figure out what it meant. Who was that woman? Why was she on the tree with swords stabbed through her? What did Mokou have to do with it?

Then, an idea. She remembered bursting into flames that one night. And the fire in her dream that came out of her hand. She decided to try it. She turned her head to see if anything she could try and light. She saw a leaf that had drifted in from outside. Lifting her arm slowly she tried to keep the pain as limited at possible. Her arm felt like it was under a boulder. She lifted her palm to face the leaf, and concentrated. She felt her arm getting warmer. Her hand was red with heat. She closed her eyes. Now!

What happened next didn't seem possible. A thin stream of fire ejected from Mokou's palm, and hit the ground with a hiss. She was shaking. Did I...did I really do that? She stared at the charred spot on the ground, glowing embers still visible. A gust of wind blow in from outside and scattered the embers. She continued staring at the black spot until Hiro came back.

"Sorry it took so long. Darn wind kept blowing around the herbs. Drink this." Hiro handed Mokou a small bowl.
It smelled like tea. She took a drink, and almost gagged.

"Heh heh... I guess I should've warned you. It's main ingredient is a pinch of suzuran, a poisonous flower. Don't worry, there isn't enough to be harmful, but that's what gives it the taste. Go on, drink it down." Hiro insisted.

It tasted awful. Eating worms would have been a preferable alternative Mokou wanted to say. But she couldn't get the words out. She drank the whole thing down, and almost vomited.

"Right, well you should get some more rest. More chopping for me." Hiro said and turned to leave. Mokou fell back to sleep, thinking about her ability to create fire. I can't believe it. That's what my dream must've been about! But...Who was that woman on the tree?

[capt. h]

(Runnin' out of ideas...  )

You could always bounce ideas off of Aya's workshop. It's the top tab in the stickies. http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,6591.60.html

I'm surprised to hear that though, because there seems to be a lot of loose ends that would be interesting to tie involving Keine, Mokou's family, the fifth impossible request, and Kaguya.

[Smallfry]

I'm surprised to hear that though, because there seems to be a lot of loose ends that would be interesting to tie involving Keine, Mokou's family, the fifth impossible request, and Kaguya.

Well now, you just gave me some ideas. Wasn't thinkin' straight. Kaguya isn't done yet, oh no. Neither is Keine.

[Smallfry]

(So much stuff on my mind, almost forgot about the story)

716: Return

Mokou had been living with Hiro for 2 years. 3 months after her incident, she fully recovered, and helped Hiro gather fallen trees. Every chance she got, she tried to practice making fire come out of her hand. She would aim her hand at a leaf, and concentrate. Soon she was able to generate continuous streams of fire, instead of just fireballs. She even started a bonfire when Hiro was away. Almost every night, she had been experiencing dreams incorporating that woman with long, flowing black hair. She would keep asking her self, all day long Who is this person? What does this mean?

Mokou and Hiro were sitting around the fire one night.

"I think I'll turn in early tonight. Good-*yawn*-night" Hiro made his way off to the hut, and closed the door. Hmm...I haven't been in the forest in quite a while. I think I'll take a stroll. She set off into the forest, but not before putting out the fire. The forest was bright with moonlight cast down from the sky. Oh look, a full moon. Shouldn't have any trouble seeing where I'm going. She continued into the forest until the canopy covered the floor, and she couldn't see anymore. A bush rustled behind her. She didn't pay much attention to it. Eh, just the wind. She traveled onward, all the while, a pair of red glowing eyes watching her from a tree.

This is one big canopy. She thought as she continued walking. Hm..I wonder... She held out her hand, concentrated, and a flame appeared in her hand. Ha! I knew it would work. She used the light from the fire to illuminate her way, almost stepping in a small stream. More rustling. That's funny... The wind stopped a while ago. I wonder if....Nah, that's impossible. Glowing eyes watching her from a tree again. More rustling. Ok...someone is there. Let's try calling them.

"H-hello? Is anyone there?" She tried. A thump sounded behind her. She spun around so quickly the flame in her hand went out. She was staring, face to face, with a pair of glowing red eyes.

"Uh..um...W-what? Who are you?" Mokou asked nervously.

"Hah," a low, gravelly voice said. "Don't you remember me?"

[Smallfry]

716: Realization

A shadowy figure with glowing red eyes stood in front of Mokou.

"I figured you wouldn't remember me." The voice said again. Why do I feel like I've met this.....person before? Mokou's mind struggled to recall memories

"K..K-Keine? Is that really you??" Mokou asked.

"Hah. So you do remember me." Keine replied. Mokou jumped at her and gave her a hug.

"I've missed you so much! Where have you been?!" Mokou yelled, relieving a worry she didn't know she had.

"Oh, I've been... around. But I didn't come her to talk. I came, for a challenge." Keine replied, with an ominous tone.

Mokou backed away. "A...challenge? What's that supposed to-" Mokou couldn't finish the sentence before Keine charged forward. Mokou moved her head out of the way just in time. A loud CRACK sounded above her.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mokou asked, frantic.

"I think it's time we had a little test. I've been watching you. Watching fire come out of your hands. Now then, have at you!" Keine Charged forward again. Mokou tried to move out of the way, but was too slow. Keine's palm struck Mokou in the forehead. She fell to the ground, her head bleeding. She tried to get up again, and was hit on the back. She fell back down. Her face in the dirt, Mokou's head was swimming. What is she doing? Is she trying to kill me? She got up again. She was able to make it to her feet, and noticed Keine grinning.

"You want a fight? I'll give you a fight." Mokou held out her palm, and a blast of energy shot towards Keine. It moved so quickly, she couldn't dodge it. It struck her chest and sent her against the tree behind her. The tree fell to the side with a loud crash, and smoke rose from her chest. She slowly got to her feet and said:

"It's on."

[Smallfry]

(Please post your opinion when you're done reading. I do like to see it.)

716: Encounter

Keine charged once again at Mokou. She struck Mokou in the stomach this time. She was knocked to the ground and began coughing up blood. Keine picked her by the collar of her shirt, and headbutted her. She was thrown the ground again. She lay, blood dripping from her mouth. She climbed to her feet, and shot a fire ball at Keine. Keine was thrown against another tree. Mokou didn't stop there. She walked up to Keine, picked her up by her collar, and began punching her stomach.

After punching her several times, she threw Keine to the ground.

"Why did you do this?" Mokou asked, panting. "What was the point?"

"Because, I had to see if you are ready." Keine replied in a slow voice.

"Ready? Ready for what?" Mokou was puzzled.

"Ready," Keine began, "For this." She climbed to her feet. "Follow me." She commanded.

Keine walked forward through the night. Where is she going? Mokou thought. The forest opened up into a large clearing, the full moon shining bright. Mokou saw something that didn't look like any kind of plant, it was covered in what looked like blood.

"Whats that?" Mokou asked.

"You'll see." Keine replied, with less emotion than ever. When they arrived at the strange object, Mokou noticed it was a person. They were horribly mutilated, their stomach ripped open and chunks of flesh torn out. Mokou looked up and down at the body. She stared at his face for a long time. Why does this look familiar? Could it be...??

"NO!!" Mokou cried out. Keine looked the other way. "NO!! FATHER!!!" Mokou burst into tear, and hugged her father's bloody remains. "How could this have happened?? Who did this??"

"Youkai." Replied Keine. "Happened a few days ago. I saw the whole thing. He was sitting right where he is now, and the song of the Night Sparrow could be heard. My guess was he heard the song, and fell asleep. 3 figures jumped out from the trees and began mauling him. Tore his stomach open and ate his innards." Keine recalled.

Mokou turned back to her father's corpse. "Father....I'm so sorry. if only I hadn't left that night..." Tears poured down her face. "Keine, do you-" She turned around, and saw Keine was gone. "Keine?? Where did you go?" Suddenly, she heard rustling in the trees. She heard a sweet, gentle song. She began to get sleepy...No! I can't fall asleep! I'll end up like poor father... She heard more rustling and saw 3 girls come out of the trees. They walked up to Mokou.

"Hi there! Are you lost?" One of them began. They don't look like monsters, they look like people. Mokou thought. They're being awfully friendly, considering I just met them, though.

"Uh..hi. No, I'm not lost. I was just heading back now, actually." She turned to walk back to Hiro's hut, when one of them spoke.

"You should stay for  a while! We can talk about things!"

"No thanks. I need to be leaving. Bye." Mokou started walking again.

"Oh no, I'm afraid you won't be going anywhere," The first one spoke again. "For we're about to have a feast."

"No, really, I need to go." Mokou tried again.

"This isn't working," The third one said. "Let's just eat her now and be done." She fell to her hands and knees, and wings sprouted out of her back. She began using them to hover above the ground. The second one's eyes turned completely black, a tail grew out of her back, and she hissed like a snake. The first one's nails and teeth grew long and sharp like knives.

"Oh no..."